western culture, especially as gender roles and identities and connections with each
other has seemingly become increasingly blurred. Tantric Buddhism, which originated
around the 11th and 12th centuries in India, rooted its foundation in the concept of
female reverence and the important role female power and knowledge played in the
spiritual enlightenment, bliss, and ecstasy. While many gender dynamics exist in
today’s realms of BDSM and Tantric Buddhism, this paper will focus on male-female
Tantric Buddhism gained immense cultural popularity during the Pala period of
India. This sect of Buddhism was not limited to any particular caste system, nor was it
isolated to a specific gender. This practice embraced people from all classes and levels
of education from elite to ordinary villagers (Shaw 22). Tantric Buddhism sets itself
apart from other spiritual practices of the time in its focus on the reverence of women
feminine for guidance and worship. Tantric Buddhism holds reverence for the divine
feminine creative powers (Shaw 32). The belief is that it essentially was senseless to
exclude the female representation of the Buddha since bodies are both male and female
and Buddhahood is attainable in the present life and in the present body (Shaw 27).
ecstasy as a means to achieve this. The body is a vehicle for attaining a blissful state for
the mind. Tantric Buddhism is unique in its acceptance of the body and the senses as
sources of knowledge and power (Shaw 140) rather than reasons behind suffering and
shame.
While distinguished in its own right, Tantric Buddhism borrows from Shaktism,
and dedication to compassionate service (Shaw 23). This spiritual approach drew value
from all Indian religious practices, such as the Vedic rituals, the mysticism of the
Female Tantric figures are prominent in the Tantric texts and imagery. In art,
these women are oftentimes depicted dancing or flying through the sky; hair flowing
loosely; adorned with skull and bone jewelry; sometimes hunting; sometimes their skin
color is red or blue in hue. This imagery serves to demonstrate the free, independent,
untamed qualities of the Tantric woman. One prominent female Buddha is Vajrayogini
with her blood red skin, wildly loose black hair, dancing sometimes on the skulls of
corpses, sometimes soaring in the sky, and drinking ambrosia from a cup made from a
Madden 3
skull (Shaw 28). She is free, unashamed, reveling in her power, fierceness and
independence.
Various poems and stories exist in the Tantric scriptures describing women
hunting and flying and traversing liberally. “Tantric texts articulate a profound and
terms to describe these divine feminine creatures: Yogini, a practitioner in Yoga, the
ritual arts and a deity with magical powers; dakini, also known as “skywalker” for her
ability to fly which serves as a metaphor highlighting her spiritual ecstasy and freedom;
duti, the female messengers of both the mundane and trans-worldly realms; and the
vira or heroine who has deviated from conventional practices in order to traverse the
The female figures are independent and proud yet when they are enjoined with
masculinity they achieve the roles of teachers, spiritual allies, and mystical companions.
Their male partners, rather than being portrayed as dominators or suppressors, are
Tantric Buddhism rests in the foundational knowledge that women are essential
to achieving spiritual enlightenment. Tantric women gurus have the ability to achieve
enlightenment on their own. They are strong, independent, aware of their power and
revel in their power. They are “proud of their strength, delight in shrewdish behavior,
and derive pleasure from the fact they are untamable” (Shaw 54-55).
The goal of achieving bliss and the importance of honoring the feminine as a
balance between energies are strong parallels in the philosophies of BDSM. “Both
Tantra and BDSM are erotic arts of consciousness.” Both employ sex techniques, focus
Madden 4
on stimulating the senses, are consensual between practitioners, raise erotic energy and
experiences are not a source of suffering, but rather a source of bliss (Shaw 93).
with the sacred and the divine. Carrellas offers guidelines for attaining this state: stay
in the moment, don’t try so hard, release expectations and judgments, surrender, and be
can be expressed in various ways beyond the ritual: cooking for her, serving her, or
the female Guru/male disciple dynamic. However, existing in BDSM very commonly is
weakness or an inferiority on the part of the submissive. In fact, it is quite the opposite,
as the submissive maintains the control of boundaries and limits; without the trust of
Tantric Buddhism offers the illusion that women are in the dominant position.
Shaw elaborates that this “surface imbalance helped to ensure the deeper harmony of
the sexes”. It is as though men needed to be pushed farther away from the extreme of
their egocentricity in order to embrace the role and meaning of women in the dynamic
in order to achieve balance. This relationship did not focus on the dominance of either
Madden 5
gender, but rather the union of masculine and feminine in the shared goal of spiritual
enlightenment (72).
is critical for the attainment of bliss and enlightenment. Disciples were encouraged to
take care in selecting their gurus. She should demonstrate freedom, be free from shame
and fear, rejoice in her femininity, be adventurous, and speak her truth. Pairings were
also based on characteristics such as body types, behavioral patterns and psychological
traits (Shaw 54). This selection process most definitely parallels BDSM relationships,
much like dating in the conventional sense. Intimacy and the willingness to please and
serve require certain compatibilities and attraction. A healthy and true BDSM
partners.
ecstasy and enlightenment, which incorporates erotic sexual acts, although not
necessarily dependent on them. Again, this holds true for both Tantric practice and
BDSM. BDSM acknowledges and accepts an endless array of “fetishes” and continually
stresses the release of shame and judgment with the understanding that partners are in
divinity in your partner, as well as simply a means to achieve a state of ecstasy. Sexual
and control.
Madden 6
The main elements in sexual connection with the goal of ecstasy are to transcend
time, become egoless, and to be in your natural state (Carrellas 18). Passion and
pleasure are important, but not ignorance and lust. Detachment from the ego is critical,
The acts between partners have been called “rituals” in Tantric practice and
encompasses interaction in daily life and an overall relationship, rituals and sessions
Both practices offer the exercise of eye-gazing. Specifically looking at the non-
dominant eye (the left eye for a right-handed person for instance) is to look into the
gateway of the soul (Carrellas 3). Eye-gazing is an important step in connecting and a
tool in the development of trust. Another technique is touching a hand over the
partner’s heart, connecting the heart chakra. “We build energy in BDSM in the same
ways we build energy in Tantra. It’s a dance of the heart/upper chakra energy with
surrendering. It is critical for the Guru or Dominant to know their partner; to be aware
of their body language; to have an understanding of their fears, curiosities, traumas, and
desires; to be present and relaxed with a quiet mind. This keeps the
disciple/submissive on “the edge” (Carrellas 210). Trust also develops in that if the
Guru/Dominant takes their partner too far in the experience that they possess the
BDSM employs a variety of props – again, based upon the preferences and
curiosities of the practitioners – that may likely have been utilized in ancient Tantric
practices as well. Simple tools include bondage items and blindfolds. The idea behind
these items is to deprive certain senses in order for others to become heightened, thus
blindfolded, other senses such as smell and sound and touch increase, cultivating the
ability to experience pleasure, the release of endorphines, quiet the mind, and
surrender to the experience and the moment. These rituals or sessions may or may not
involve genital stimulation. Attaining this blissful state may be induced by the simple
caress of a feather on the skin, or the warmth of candle wax, or the scent of something
sweet.
BDSM calls this state of ecstasy “subspace”. Buddhism terms this as achieving
emptiness and utilizes the term mahamudra. This space is natural, relaxed, loose, and
clarity is achieved. The mahamudra “opens the door to a realm of magical fluidity”
creating a state of awareness where “anything is possible” (Shaw 95) and realizations
can be made like “a fresh wind sweeping through an empty sky” (87).
are prevalent surrounding sex, desire, and pleasure. These are age-old challenges, it
century CE. The roles of men and women and the interactions between the genders
have notably been unbalanced and obscured. The most successful female submissives
Madden 8
in BDSM relationship dynamics are powerful, independent women (or men) who
choose to relinquish control and offer her submission to her Dominant for the
reality this power exchange involves the submissive dictating the interactions with
regards to boundaries and the amount of control she releases. Once this is established
the Dominant can fulfill his role as a guide, a mentor, an edge-pusher. It becomes his
enjoyed position to learn her boundaries, understand her deeply and intensely in the
intellectual, emotional and physical senses in order to push her for growth.
In the primal sense, women desire the opportunity to fill this type of submission.
The more independent she is in her everyday life, the more she craves embracing her
femininity; a Dominant man feeds this craving for her. The Dominant/submissive
dynamic speaks to a type of goddess worship paralleling the reverence offered to the
same love, tasted by one with understanding, brings liberation. Enjoy all the pleasures
Works Cited
Carrellas, Barbara, and Annie Sprinkle. Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First