Phase 4: Stabilizing
Even when the relationship seems to have reached its peak, there is more work to do to create
a stable, longer-term relationship.
Honeymoon
After first getting together there is often a 'honeymoon' period when everything goes
wonderfully well and each person cannot imagine not being in the relationship.
In studies of romantic relationships, it has been show that can last up to two years. However,
in the end, reality bites, the wings dissolve and the parties either find a working 'normal'
relationship or otherwise drift apart.
Storming
After having a close relationship with someone for a while, those endearing little affections
can turn into annoying habits as the little things that you once forgave become major
irritations.
The relationship may also become rather one-sided as one person does much more of the
running and the other sits back and lets it happen. Again, for the person putting in the effort
this can be rather annoying.
The relationship can consequently turn from being relatively harmonious to being marked with
regular disagreement and acrimonious argument.
This is another stage at which the relationship may break up if the challenge to ongoing
stability is not met.
Sometimes relationships can remain in the storming stage for a long period, resulting in a long
journey along a very rocky road which bumps and grinds and wears everyone down.
Stabilizing
If there is still sufficient commitment for the relationship to continue, differences need to be
resolved or at least moved to an acceptably workable footing.
If storming has been particularly acrimonious then the partners may have hurt one another
deeply. This may require deliberate reconciliation with support from a third party mediator or
counselor of some sort.
Acceptance, understanding and heartfelt apology are common in this stage, as is constructive
dialog that works towards an effective long-term relationship in which neither is overly
dominant and where each puts effort into meeting the needs of the other.
for either party to renege on the agreement. In a commercial situation, contracts are commonly
used. In romantic relationships, commitments include moving in together, getting married and
having children.