INNER-FIRE

KINDLING
INNER-FIRE
KINDLING

DAVID KENYON NELMS

 An H.A.M.R. Book
Copyright © 2004 by Billings Worldwide Brain

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized in

any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying,
recording or by information storage and retrieval system without permission
in writing from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a
review.

Publisher's Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Nelms, David K.
Inner-fire kindling.
ISBN 0-9654169-7-6 : $19.95
1. Applied Psychology-Self Actualization. I. Title.
2. Attitude Change.
3. Psychotherapy.
4. Success.
BF637.S4.N423 2004 158.1 03-97936

Printed in the United States of America

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
 Acknowledgment
Many people have contributed to the formation of this book
in some way or another, and their efforts are sincerely ap-
preciated. Notable among them are Robert Forman, who
has provided unwavering support for those learning the
Hammer, and Suzanne Rush, who is extremely talented
with helping others tackle the most difficult of problems.
To my beloved Jane
 Disclaimer
Neither the publisher nor the author are engaged in rendering
medical services or psychiatric advice. If these services are
needed, you should seek out qualified licensed professional care.
Due to the newness of the Hammer system, there have been
no long term studies to quantify its effects. Every effort has
been made to convey the information necessary to use the Ham-
mer Exercise as safely as possible; however, there may be mis-
takes both typographical and in content. Use of this technique
is at your own risk.
No responsibility can be assumed by the author or the pub-
lisher for the use or misuse of the information contained in this
book. David Nelms and Billings Worldwide Brain shall have
no liability or responsibility to any person or legal entity with
respect to any loss or damage incurred from reading or utiliz-
ing the information contained herein.

If you do not wish to be bound by the above, or have any

other adverse issues with this publication, you can return it at
any time for a full and cheerful refund. Your satisfaction is guar-
anteed.
 Contents

Introduction ................................................. 11
1 The Hammer Exercise ....................................... 17
2 Hope .................................................................. 29
3 Love ................................................................... 41
4 Giving ................................................................ 53
5 Anger ................................................................. 61
6 Freedom ............................................................. 69
7 Tolerance ........................................................... 81
8 Communication ................................................. 91
9 Charm .............................................................. 101
10 Self Image ....................................................... 115
11 Epilogue .......................................................... 121
Index .................................................................... 123
 INTRODUCTION

Introduction
Three grand essentials to happiness in this
life are something to do, something to love
and something to hope for.
- Joseph Addison

Having the right thoughts and behaviors can make a huge dif-
ference in how you feel. It also affects your ability to adapt to
the trials of life. There is a reason for this. In the race to get
ahead, people with good attitudes whisk past the rest of us.
They come out ahead in the struggle to secure money, relation-
ships and even, dare we mention, happiness?
Those with good attitudes have said attitudes because of the
way they naturally tend to think. They notice the beautiful side
of life, see only great possibilities ahead and believe they can
do anything. As such, they automatically have what it takes to
be fulfilled.
Therefore our goal is simple and clear. It is to train our minds
to notice the good, build strong alliances, emulate the great

11
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

among us and learn to believe in our abilities. This can be done

systematically. You will achieve it by finding out precisely what
types of thoughts effectively cause these good feelings to be
produced, then, reinforce them in your own mind.
Simply put, the essence of the Hammer Strategy is to deter-
mine what the most effective thought patterns are, then, rein-
force these patterns. As such, we can easily and gracefully re-
configure our brains to succeed.
To accomplish this task, we shall utilize a system known as
“Hand Actuated Mental Reconditioning”. It consists of an ex-
ercise that reinforces positive thoughts and a set of suggestions
for determining what particular thoughts are good to have in
your mind.
The exercise takes less than a minute to execute and is named
“The Hammer”. It allows you to reinforce one thought at a time.
With only one repetition you can permanently establish a more
positive attitude. Learning the Hammer is very easy and the
technique becomes quick and automatic with practice. Chapter
1 has instructions for it and simple exercises to help you de-
velop skill.
Later chapters supply recommendations for positive thoughts
to reinforce. These are based on the wisdom of some of the
worlds greatest thinkers.
There are two good rules to follow that will maximize the
effects of the Hammer: (A) only reinforce any particular thought
once and (B) do only one repetition per day.
Here is a hypothetical example of how Hand Actuated Mental
Reconditioning works. Let us imagine that you have an irratio-
nal fear of bedbugs. You have tried telling yourself to calm down
and go to sleep, yet, no matter what you try to do, the thought
of those creepy little monsters comes from every part of your
mind.
So you analyze the situation carefully by experimenting with
different thoughts. You try thinking of bedbugs from all pos-
sible angles. In the end you find that every thought you try to
12
 INTRODUCTION

imagine serves only to make the fear worse, except for one.
Deep down inside yourself there is a knowing that the bedbugs
do not actually exist. It is faint, small and hard to concentrate
on, but, it is there. And when, for a fleeting moment, you do
manage to concentrate on this knowing, the clouds begin to
part and the little savages start to vaporize. Their dying screams
bring you pleasure. Thus, in your holy war against bedbugs,
this is the first thought that you will reinforce with the Ham-
mer. Perhaps this is the one that will finally set you free.
Expertly, you hold out your hands and initiate the process.
Concentrating your thoughts into one hand, your mind searches
for the faint knowing that there are no bedbugs. When it zeroes
in, you will begin moving through the steps immediately. By
the time you get to the last part of the Hammer, your head is
swimming and it is hard to remember what you set out to do.
But the deal has been done. You took that faint bit of knowl-
edge and spread it into your whole thinking process, forever.
Moments later the fog has cleared and now you are raring to
go at it again. That felt good - you want some more. The temp-
tation to do it again looms all around. Yet you resist because
you know that (A) you should only install each thought once
and (B) the Hammer works best when you give your brain plenty
of time to sort out the new thinking patterns.
Your attack on bedbugs can continue for as long as you need
it to, just be sure to reinforce different thoughts each time. The
first time around you reinforced the deep down knowing that
there are no bedbugs. You are finished with that particular
thought and it either worked or it did not. Using it to repeat the
Hammer over and over would be in vain.
For the sake of our example, let us assume that you want to
keep going. Maybe the first thought you reinforced was not the
‘magic bullet’ you were looking for, or, it could be that you just
plain want revenge for all the years of lost sleep (nobody said
you were sane).
To this end, you have a different idea. You decide to humiliate
13
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

the bedbugs. This idea brings satisfaction that sits well with
every fiber of your being. The thought that brings amusement
now is imagining them to be drunk and wearing little sombre-
ros. You smile and, again, you reinforce with the Hammer.
Now, let us assume that you still want more. Maybe you are
starting to have fun; or, now that they are drunk, you feel safer
sleeping with one eye open - on your back.
Your search for more ideas is rewarded when something oc-
curs to you: if you can’t lick ‘em, join‘em. Out come your hands
one last time. You imagine what it would be like if you and the
bedbugs go way back. Friends for life. Amigos. One for all and
all for one. They may be drunk and ugly, but at least they are on
your side. Off goes the Hammer.
At last you feel better. You have done the impossible and blown
away a phobia with ease. That night and every other night since,
you all snore happily in a big, imaginary pile. Life is good.
All this is possible because your brain is a machine. It does
not love you, it does not hate you. It does not feel pity, pain or
remorse. It simply runs in the direction it has always been
pointed. That direction can be altered and with positive results.
Bear in mind that the simplicity of Hand Actuated Mental
Reconditioning is misleading. Its effects are out of proportion
to the amount of effort that goes into executing the steps. Be
sure to follow the directions carefully and reinforce only posi-
tive, constructive thoughts.
To recap, the purpose of this book is to provide a concise
introduction to the HAMR system. It explains the Hammer ex-
ercise itself, then it suggests a number of positive and mean-
ingful thought patterns to reinforce.
Instructions for The Hammer are located in chapter one. The
steps take about twenty seconds and enable a person to rein-
force positive new thought patterns. It is self-applied and simple
to learn and use. People are routinely stunned by its effects as
they are often spectacular. It is appealing in that it is a mechani-
cal process that works independently from belief and tends to
14
 INTRODUCTION

have a very deep and permanent effect. You begin with a short
series of drills that break the task of learning into bite-sized
pieces.
Following the Hammer Exercise, the remaining chapters list
positive thoughts to reinforce. They are accompanied by inspi-
rational quotes by noteworthy people. Each exercise is derived
from the associated quote.
Eventually you will begin to see the method to the madness
and learn to form your own strategy, but, be patient with your-
self and just enjoy the ride for now. The exercises in this book
cover a wide range of issues, so simply relax and follow the
program.
As mentioned, one page per day is the perfect rate at which to
work. This will ensure that the benefits you enjoy are maxi-
mized. If you exceed this rate you could easily be faced with
mental fatigue on a grand scale. A good rule of thumb is to let
each exercise work its way into your brain slowly. Be cautious.
If your brain feels tired give it rest for as long as it takes to feel
fresh again. If you follow this rule your progress will be smooth
and steady.
Please be sure to reinforce positive and constructive thoughts
only. This rule is extremely important and must be adhered to
at all times.
The excitement mounts. Now go forth, stick to the instruc-
tions and indulge yourself responsibly.

15
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

16
 THE HAMMER

1 The
Hammer Exercise
When the only tool you own is a hammer,
every problem begins to resemble a nail.
- Abraham Maslow

The tension is mounting and the results are supposed to be

announced, but there seems to be a problem with the counting
process. The ballots are on the table in a pile and the people in
charge look confused and surprised. Evidently, something very
unusual has happened.
A few minutes ago, you and everyone else had arrived and
settled in for the game. The first thing you did was mingle around
the room with the other people and decide whom you would
like for a partner. Then you picked the person you wanted, wrote
their name on a card and dropped it into the hat. Everyone did
the same thing. Now the people who were sorting through the
ballots are milling around and casting glances in your direction.
The director takes you aside and the reveals the problem: it

17
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

appears that every single person in the room has chosen you for
a partner. You are a sensational smash-hit. Something about
you appeals to them so much that they all want you to work
with them. Now the director has to start the choosing process
all over again.
How does it feel to be chosen by every person in the room?
Consider it well, because this is the feeling you will reinforce
with your first Hammer Exercise.
The exercise involves imagining thoughts in your hands. From
your point of view it will look something like the picture. The

During the Hammer Exercise you

will hold out your hands like this

long and short of it all is that you hold out your hands (palms
facing up) and then imagine a series of thoughts in them. Each
time you imagine a thought your eyes will move back and forth,
imagining a specific thought in one hand then the other until
the series is complete. At the end, you combine the sides and
smash the whole conglomeration into your chest.
The exercise begins with your imagining a situation in one
hand and a positive thought in the other. These thoughts are
respectively labeled the “CASE” thought and the “NEW”
thought. The CASE thought is the situation you are working
with and the NEW is a positive thought pattern that you intend
to combine with the CASE.
Allow me to elaborate using the example from the beginning
of the chapter. The situation involves being in a room full of
people you do not actually know. Your innate response to this
situation is called the “encased thought”, or CASE for short. It
is encased in the sense that, short of neuronal destruction, you
will never, ever get rid of it. The branches between your brain
cells are grown together in a way that causes the same state of

18
 THE HAMMER

mind to emerge each time you enter the situation, which, in this
case, is a room full of strangers. This is not a problem because
the Hammer provides a mechanical solution. The idea is to take
the troublesome thought pattern and introduce another variable
or possibility into it.
What you will do is take the CASE thought and “blend”
another, more positive thought pattern into it. In this example
the CASE thought is the concept of a “room full of people you
do not know”. When you think of being in such a situation you
will always get the same set of memories and feelings, more or
less.
You can never eliminate the basic thought pattern that causes
your response, but you can combine it with other thoughts that
change it so drastically as to cause a different response
altogether.
In other words, you may currently feel uncomfortable in a
crowd, but, after you change your perspective with the Hammer,
feel at ease. The change in perspective is accomplished by
combining your established thought patterns with newer, better
thought patterns.

CASE: Imagine being in a room

with people you do not know

Now for an exercise. The first thing to do is get used to the

idea of imagining thoughts in your hands. This is easy because,
due to the way our brains are naturally wired-up, we do it
automatically. So begin with the first thought in the process,
the CASE thought. Using our present example, think about how
you feel around people you do not know. Imagine this thought
in your left hand and keep it simple and easy. Just think of the
situation and allow your normal feelings to prevail.

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INNER-FIRE KINDLING

Any time you do the Hammer Exercise you will start by

imagining the CASE thought in one hand because it is the
thought you want to amend. Remember to always begin with
the CASE.

CASE: Imagine being in a room

with people you do not know

Practice thinking about the room full of people in your left

hand first. After that, switch to your right hand and practice
thinking of it there. Get used to contemplating the situation in
either hand.
The thought you will combine with the CASE is called the
NEW thought. By permanently blending this positive NEW
thought pattern into the CASE thought you will entirely alter
the complexion of your physiological response. The NEW
thought provides a productive direction for your mind to go
and it should always be positive.
Remember the feeling from the example - the one where
everybody chooses you? Right now, as you read these lines,
imagine the director coming up and telling you that you were

NEW: Imagine being told that you

are the chosen one

chosen by every single person in the room. They all want you
to be on their team. In your first Hammer this will be the NEW
thought. Pretend that this feeling of being specially chosen is in
your left hand.
Next think of the “chosen” scenario in your other hand. This
will help you get used to doing it both ways, which you will
20
 THE HAMMER

need to be able to do quickly. With palms up, imagine the feeling

in your right hand this time. As you imagine the feeling on the
right, say to yourself, “I was the only one chosen”. Get used to
the process of imagining this scenario in either hand.
You should not concentrate heavily on the thoughts in your

NEW: Imagine being told that you

are the chosen one

hands. The goal is to simply consider them for a brief moment,

or, just long enough to get your brain to begin running the
patterns. Then the patterns keep running by themselves for a
long enough time that you can complete the steps before they
fizzle out again, which is why speed is of the essence. Your
goal is to activate several parts of your brain in a quick sequence.
Deep, lingering concentration is counterproductive and will
actually cause the exercise to fail. So, always go quickly - the
Hammer should only take twenty or thirty seconds to complete.
As previously noted in the Introduction, your goal with the
Hammer Exercise is to blend a positive new thought into an
already established thought pattern, then, reinforce them into a
single chaotic entity. So on one side is the CASE situation and
on the other will be the NEW thought.
And now that you know how to think of the thoughts in your
hands, you will learn to connect them together. This part is
critical, yet simple. All you have to do is imagine that the NEW
side mixes over into the CASE, then imagine that the CASE
reaches over and mixes into the NEW. This results in a mixture
of the NEW thought and the CASE thought. You started out
with a thought that has been encased in your head for a long
time. Then you forced it to combine with a newer, better thought
pattern. The result is that they temporarily become a mixture.
Normally, these two patterns would never have been active at

21
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

the same time. By firing them up in the same moment and forcing
them to consider one another, you have caused each to become
“contaminated” with the other. This process is called “bleeding”.
To get an idea of what this is all about, imagine a smooth
surface. On the left side of this surface is a puddle of water
with yellow dye in it. On the right side is a puddle of water with
blue dye in it.
Now, as long as the blue puddle on the right stays to the right,
it will remain the same blue color. Ditto for the yellow puddle
on the left. But if the edges of the puddles touch each other,
even slightly, the colors instantly begin to bleed together. After

CASE: Imagine being in a room

with people you do not know

NEW: Imagine being told that you

are the chosen one

Imagine that the NEW thought

blends over into the CASE thought

Imagine that the CASE thought

mixes over into the NEW thought

The result is that the CASE and

NEW thoughts have been
connected together

a time you would have green water on the left and green water
on the right.
Thus goes the creation of the mixture. It is a simple
introduction of each side to the other begins the process of
bleeding. It only takes a moment to initiate. After that you no
longer need to pay attention to it. The bleeding continues on its
own until the sides are as connected as they are ever going to

22
 THE HAMMER

get. Therefore, your strategy is to start the process, then quickly

move to the next step.
Practice a few times until the steps seem easy and natural.
Also learn to do this by starting with the CASE thought on the
right and then with the CASE thought on the left. Why? Because
the exercises in this book are “switched”. This means that when
you do the Hammer Exercise once, you will switch the sides

CASE: Imagine being in a room

with people you do not know

NEW: Imagine being told that you

are the chosen one

Imagine that the NEW thought

mixes over into the CASE thought

Imagine that the CASE thought

mixes over into the NEW thought

The result is that the CASE and

NEW thoughts have been
connected together

and repeat the steps again. Thus, if you do the Hammer with
the NEW thought on the left, you will do the exercise again,
only this time with the NEW thought on the right.
The next section of the exercise also involves bleeding, but
uses different target thoughts. The thoughts that you are after
consist of everything related to the original CASE thought. Each
time you think of a subject (any subject) you are able to access
a number of different areas of information about it. That is
because billions of neurons, in many different areas of your
brain, await their cue to explode into activity, instantly serving
up information that directly relates to your subject. In doing the
Hammer, your goal is to fire them all up together and bleed the
23
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

NEW thought into them as well. This produces the effect that
your brain is no longer fighting against itself and large areas
share the same positive concepts and can work together for the
greater good.
For the exercises in this book, the areas that you will
concentrate on are the past, future and present. These functional

Briefly think of the PAST on one

hand, then the other

Briefly think of the FUTURE on one

hand, then the other

Briefly think of the PRESENT

(everything you can see, hear and
feel around you) on one hand, then
the other

areas take up vast stretches of your brain and are constantly

active, regardless of what situation you are thinking about. The
goal is to bleed the positive thought into as much neurological
real-estate as possible.

24
 THE HAMMER

Beginning with the PAST, you will light up the three major
areas one by one. You will think of them on one side, then the
other.
Practice with each one a few times. To begin with, think back
to a memory. Any memory will do. The object is simply to cause
activity in memory-related structures of your brain. Do not
meditate, calculate, translate or postulate. Take a brief glance
to the past. This should simply be a quick look backwards in
time to the first memory that comes to mind.
The same methodology holds true for the future. Make it quick,
keep it simple and do not worry about the exact thought. Merely
cast a thought in the direction of next week, next year or
whatever you choose.
As for the present, you will want to note your surroundings.
Briefly think about what you see, hear and feel in the moment.
It is as easy as that.
If you yearn to add more accuracy to the process you can use
past, future and present thoughts that relate to the CASE. In our
example, the CASE is the thought of being in a room full of
people, so you will want to think of a time in the past when you
were in, or at least considered, such a situation. Next you will

Slide one hand under the other,

pause, then press the mixture into
your chest.

imagine being in a room full of people in the future and finally,

the same scenario right now in the present. But always remember
to keep it quick and simple. That is by far the most important
thing to keep in mind.

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INNER-FIRE KINDLING

After you have created the mixture and then

bled it into large areas of your brain, there is
one thing left to do. You must force your mind
into conceiving of the individual sides as an
associated singularity. In plain English this
translates to “one big thought that is inside of
yourself.” The illustration demonstrates how
to do it properly. With palms still facing
upward, you will slide one hand under the
other, wait two seconds, then press the entire
mixture into your chest.
When you are confident in your ability to
carry out the maneuvers that you have learned
so far, it is time for you to perform the entire
exercise at once. The page at right shows the
steps for the completed process of reinforcing
a positive thought. It appears just as the
exercise pages will be organized in the rest of
the chapters. Each one shows the Hammer two
times. In one exercise you begin with the
CASE thought on the left and in the other you
begin with the CASE thought on the right. You should carry
out both exercises for each positive thought in this book.
One repetition of the Hammer should take approximately
twenty seconds to complete. Do the Hammer Exercise depicted
on the left side of the page, wait roughly twenty seconds, then,
do the Hammer Exercise on the right side of the page.
Remember to take it easy and do only one or two exercise
pages per day. This will allow your brain the time to properly
integrate the new ideas into your thinking. After your first
Hammer, give your brain a nice, long rest.

26
 THE HAMMER

CASE: Think about being in a

room full of strangers

NEW: Imagine the situation

where you are the chosen one

Author’s notes here:

After you perform these two
exercises wait until tomorrow
to do any more.

Inspirational quote or words of wisdom here.

- Noteworthy individual

27
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

28
 HOPE

2
Hope
I could never convince the financiers that
Disneyland was feasible because dreams
offer too little collateral.
- Walt Disney

29
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of the problems

you have in life

NEW: Realize that eventually

the problems will be gone

Our lives are in constant flux

and what is important at one
time turns to meaningless dust
at another. Nothing lasts for-
ever.

Human misery must somewhere have a stop:

there is no wind that always blows a storm.
- Euripides

30
 HOPE

CASE: Think of the problems

you have in life

NEW: Imagine how good it will

feel to know that your problems
are finally being solved

A meal tastes better the hun-

grier you are. The same goes
for hard jobs and tough times.
No pain, no gain. The more
difficult things are, the better
it will feel to have them over
and done with.

The worse the passage, the more welcome the port.

- Thomas Fuller, M.D

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INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of problems in

your life

NEW: Think of the times you

have shown strength

In this exercise you balance-

out the thoughts of trouble
with the realization that you
have what it takes to deal with
it.

He knows not his own strength that has not met adver-
sity.
- Ben Jonson

32
 HOPE

CASE: Think of problems in

your life

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when your problems are already
solved and things are getting
better

The cycles of life include high

points as well as low points;
both pain and happiness mix
to produce meaning.

If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind?

- Percy Shelley

33
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of the things you

wish you could do in life

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you can actually do
anything you want to

People amaze themselves all

the time. You could be one of
them and produce surprising
things at any moment, espe-
cially when your mind se-
cretly thinks that it can.

The first and most important step toward success is the

feeling that we can succeed.
- Nelson Boswell

34
 HOPE

CASE: Think of the things you

wish you could do in life

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when your mind sees a vision
and works towards it relentlessly

Start your brain in a direction

then step back and watch in
wonder.

Anybody can do anything that he imagines.

- Henry Ford

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INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of the problems

you have in life

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when your problems always
result in greater wisdom

Lack of adversity leads to a

fate worse than death: bore-
dom.

Adversity is the first path to truth.

- Byron

36
 HOPE

CASE: Think of the problems

you have in life

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

if greater things are in store for
you

Wisdom may be the only

thing you can take with you
and great wisdom can result
in great acts. Relish the time
you have no matter how it
feels at present.

Greater dooms win greater destinies.

- Heraclitus

37
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of the things you

wish you could do in life

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when your dreams can alter the
future

Daydreaming is another name

for it. People may make fun,
but its the first step in making
things happen.

If one is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform

one million realities.
- Maya Angelou

38
 HOPE

CASE: Think of the things you

wish you could do in life

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when your mind is constantly
working to perfect your dreams

Constructing a dream is done

through fantasy first. Start by
dreaming of a desirable out-
come.

A man to carry on a successful business must have imagi-

nation. He must see things as in a vision, a dream of the
whole thing.
- Charles M. Schwab

39
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

40
 LOVE

3
Love
If you find it in your heart to care for some-
body else, you will have succeeded.
- Maya Angelou

41
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of the people on

earth

NEW: Realize that some people

love each other immensely

For all their faults, you have

to admit that people love not
only each other but various
creatures and objects. Every-
body loves something or
somebody. We were born to
love.

If we all discovered that we had only five minutes left to

say all that we wanted to say, every telephone booth would
be occupied by people calling other people to tell them
that they loved them.
- Christopher Morley

42
 LOVE

CASE: Think of the people on

earth and the love between them

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you are learning to love in
new ways all the time

Get your subconscious mind

involved in the process. This
exercise will engage hidden
abilities so that they can work
while you concentrate on
other things.

You learn to speak by speaking, to study by studying, to

run by running, to work by working; and just so you learn
to love God and man by loving. Begin as a mere appren-
tice and the very power of love will lead you on to be-
come a master of the art.
- St. Francis De Sales

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INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think about your current

feelings for your self

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you love yourself deeply
and without reservation

It is vital to love yourself. You

have every right, even an ob-
ligation, to do so. If you can
learn to appreciate yourself
you can learn to appreciate
other things as well.

Our first and last love is - self-love.

- Bovee

44
 LOVE

CASE: Think about you and a

friend or spouse

NEW: Think of something that

matters for you both and imagine
what it will be like when you are
working towards it together

The sensation produced by

teamwork is a good one. It is
a wonderful feeling that has
its own reward.

Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in look-

ing together in the same direction.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

45
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of some of the

things you love

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when love keeps you young
forever

We have all seen at least one

elderly person with a youth-
ful sparkle. It looks good on
them.

Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of
old age, but they die young.
- A.W. Pinero

46
 LOVE

CASE: Think of someone

talking to you

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you are a natural-born
listener and can interact with
ease

Often, lending an ear can

make all the difference. You
never know what impact this
small effort may have.

The first duty of love is to listen.

- Paul Tillich

47
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of people you care

about

NEW: Decide that, from now on,

you will never wait to show the
ways you care

Did you just think of a reason

to thank someone for some-
thing? Do you owe someone
a hug? Do it now!

Now is the time to give me roses, not to keep them for my

grave to come. Give them to me while my heart beats,
give them today while my heart yearns for jubilee. Now
is the time...
- Mzwakhe Mbuli

48
 LOVE

CASE: Think of the people you

know

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you have a special gift for
saying things that make people
feel good

Handing out money and treats

seems to be a worthless and
even counterproductive en-
deavor. Kindly words, how-
ever, can wedge themselves
into a person’s brain and bring
floods of positive emotion for
an entire lifetime.

If instead of a gem, or even a flower, we should cast the

gift of a loving thought into the heart of a friend, that
would be giving as the angels give."
- George MacDonald

49
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of a person you

care about

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you always look at this
person with perfect forgiveness

The best reason to forgive

someone is that you will feel
better yourself. Letting go of
bad feelings towards others is
always the right thing to do.

Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which

becomes a habit.
- Peter Ustinov

50
 LOVE

CASE: Think of the people you

care about

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you release those people
and allow them to be whatever
they want

You try to help people be the

best that they can be; but,
there is a limit to what you can
do. This actually makes
things easier on you in the
long run, because, past a cer-
tain point, you can let them
go. Try to be there if things
go wrong and they need your
help, otherwise allow them
their rightful freedom.

Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that

you care for to be what they choose for themselves with-
out any insistence that they satisfy you.
- Wayne Dyer

51
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

52
 GIVING

4
Giving
How far you go in life depends on your
being tender with the young, compassion-
ate with the aged, sympathetic with the
striving, and tolerant of the weak and
strong. Because someday in your life you
will have been all of these.
- George Washington Carver

53
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of the world and

its state of affairs

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you constantly plant seeds
of goodness everywhere you go

Good can grow exponentially

the way a tree does from a
single seed. All it takes is a
few simple acts to start the
process.

Good, the more communicated, more abundant grows.

- John Milton

54
 GIVING

CASE: Think of the people

around you in your life

NEW: Decide that, from now on,

you will do one nice thing every
day

This really piles up the good-

will and one small gesture per
day can be all it takes.

Do something for somebody every day for which you do

not get paid.
- Albert Schweitzer

55
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of the people in

your life

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you are gradually learning
to work with these people to your
mutual benefit

This is backed up by studies

on the brain: helping others
feels good causes us to bask
in a sea of endorphins.

In about the same degree as you are helpful, you will be

happy.
- Karl Reiland

56
 GIVING

CASE: Think of the people in

your life

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when, without even trying, your
record of good deeds grows
larger

A memory bank filled with

episodes of assisting others
amounts to vast treasure.

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by

what we give!
- Winston Churchill

57
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of the people

around you

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you get a tiny thrill from
doing things for people
anonymously

Now here is a way to know

you did something from the
heart. The only credit you get
is knowing that you did the
good deed. It creates a deli-
cious little secret to harbor
away.

Real generosity is doing something nice for someone

who'll never find it out.
- Frank A. Clark

58
 GIVING

CASE: Think of the people you

are around from day to day

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when working with them lifts you
high above yourself

Its nice to look down on a self

that is doing good things. The
view is quite satisfying.

An effort made for the happiness of others lifts us above

ourselves.
- Lydia M. Child

59
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

60
 ANGER

5
Anger
When angry, count ten before you speak;
if very angry, a hundred.
- Thomas Jefferson

61
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of something that

makes you angry

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when people are impressed that
you use anger properly

People who use anger to de-

fend the underdog, for ex-
ample.

We praise a man who is angry on the right grounds,

against the right persons, in the right manner, at the right
moment, and for the right length of time.
- Aristotle

62
 ANGER

CASE: Think of a time when you

get angry

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you have the power to
overcome your anger

Whoever tames his anger can

use it correctly. It can be more
like a beast of burden that car-
ries you to the proper action.

He who restrains his anger overcomes his greatest en-

emy.
- Latin proverb

63
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of your image

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you appear cool and
collected under stress

People who can stay calm un-

der fire are the ones who al-
ways come out ahead.

Coolness and absence of heat and haste indicate fine

qualities.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

64
 ANGER

CASE: Think of arguing with an

angry, irrational person

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when your self control makes
you more powerful

We have all seen it happen:

two people are arguing and
one of them is overly emo-
tional. The cool person wins
every exchange.

Nothing gives one person so much advantage over an-

other as to remain cool and unruffled under all circum-
stances.
- Thomas Jefferson

65
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of your self

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you realize that you
deserve to have patience with
yourself

Change what you can, then

live with the rest gracefully by
learning to accept yourself as
you are.

Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience

with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your
own imperfections, but instantly set about remedying
them – every day begin the task anew.
- Saint Francis De Sales

66
 ANGER

CASE: Think of the people you

work with

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when your good behavior always
reflects back at you

This really works. When you

act mature and sophisticated
others will be embarrassed not
to go along.

The people with whom you work reflect your own atti-
tude. If you are suspicious, unfriendly and condescend-
ing, you will find these unlovely traits echoed all about
you. But if you are on your best behavior, you will bring
out the best in the persons with whom you are going to
spend most of your working hours.
- Beatrice Vincent

67
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68
 FREEDOM

6
Freedom
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that
all men are created equal; that they are
endowed by their Creator with certain un-
alienable rights; that among these are life,
liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
- Thomas Jefferson

69
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of your life and the

time you have

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you have an absolute right
to pursue happiness in whatever
way you see fit

Just one day of pure liberty

would feel so good. You alone
would decide what to do or
not do. It would be bliss.

Happy the man, and happy he alone, he, who can call
today his own.
- John Dryden

70
 FREEDOM

CASE: Think of other peoples’

lives

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you respect other peoples’
right to pursue freedom and
happiness in whatever way they
see fit

Every one of us has the right

to be free and make our own
decisions. No one can take
that away and imposing our
own ideas on other people is
wrong.

There is a wonderful mythical law of nature that the three

things we crave most in life happiness, freedom and peace
of mind - are always attained by giving them to someone
else.
- Peyton Conway March

71
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of life in general

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you realize that your life is
very special and unique

Your life has its own special

meaning. Stay unique in your
thinking and avoid going
along with “the pack”.

Throughout the years of your life you will face many chal-
lenges, remember that you can climb the highest moun-
tain, drive through the roughest storm, soar across the
bluest sky, or even sail across the roughest waters. It is
only destined by your attitude where you will end up in
life. The most important thing is don't let yourself get
lost in the crowd.
- Angela Duvall

72
 FREEDOM

CASE: Think of life and people

around you

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you always find a way to
constructively voice your own
thoughts.

Be true to yourself and think,

as well as communicate, your
own special thoughts. With-
out you, this world is less in-
credible.

Originality does not consist in saying what no one has

ever said before, but in saying exactly what you think
yourself.
- James Stephens

73
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of someone

inviting you to a function that you
do not wish to attend

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you skillfully say “no” while
remaining friendly and caring

Sometimes it takes courage to

give an outright answer of
“no” to an invitation. But it
beats the alternative, which is
to go against your judgement
and later regret it.

A "no" uttered from deepest conviction is better and

greater than a "yes" merely uttered to please, or what is
worse, to avoid trouble.
- Mahatma Gandhi

74
 FREEDOM

CASE: Think of your personal

life

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you know that, as long as
you are not hurting others, no
one has the right to interfere with
your personal life

This is a key point on the sub-

ject of freedom. No one has
the right to steal from you, as-
sault you, or interfere with
your personal business. Pe-
riod.

No man has a natural right to commit aggression on the

natural rights of another; and this is all from which the
laws ought to restrain him.
- Thomas Jefferson

75
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of the way you

treat yourself internally

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you are always very kind
and understanding with yourself
and other people as well

People reflect the signals you

send out. Send out a signal
that feels good and it will
come back the same way.

When men are easy in themselves, they let others remain

so.
- Anthony A. Cooper

76
 FREEDOM

CASE: Think of people who’s

rights are violated

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you are a fierce defender
of freedom - both for yourself
and other people

Not to mention the fact that

freedom fighters are highly re-
garded individuals. And
rightly so.

Only by zealously guarding the rights of the most humble,

the most unorthodox, and the most despised among us
can freedom flourish and endure in our land. {U.S. Su-
preme Court Justice}
- Frank Murphy

77
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of problems that

plague your mind

NEW: Mentally push the thought

of the problems a million miles
away

As you do this, simply imag-

ine that the problem is being
shoved far away by your
mind.

If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself

not to worry. Worry never fixes anything.
- Mrs. Ernest Hemingway

78
 FREEDOM

CASE: Think of problems that

plague your mind

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you see that worrying is a
waste of time and energy

Sometimes just realizing the

source of the problem is
enough to solve it. Think
about what you are doing. It
may be simply a biological
response that is not useful.

A thousand fearful images and dire suggestions glance

along the mind when it is moody and discontented with
itself. Command them to stand and show themselves, and
you presently assert the power of reason over imagina-
tion.
- Sir Walter Scott

79
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80
 TOLERANCE

7
Tolerance
Giving of yourself, learning to be tolerant,
giving recognition and approval to others,
remaining flexible enough to mature and
learn - yields happiness, harmony, content-
ment and productivity. These are the quali-
ties of a rich life, the bounteous harvest of
getting along with people.
- Jack C Yewell

81
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of people you

meet

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you realize that everyone
you meet is exactly the same as
you in some ways

This eye-opening statement is

very true when you think
about it. Bad behavior is of-
ten accompanied by inner
conflict. We all know what
that can be like.

Be Kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.

- Philo of Alexandria

82
 TOLERANCE

CASE: Think of a person who

gets on your nerves

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you put yourself in this
person’s shoes

A truly difficult, yet highly

honorable policy.

Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have

walked in his moccasins.
- Sioux Indian prayer

83
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of someone’s

irritating behavior

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you realize that you have
at some time done the same
thing, and, therefore, that you
have been exactly the same as
this person

Ouch! This an absolutely criti-

cal realization. When some-
one does something that truly
irritates you there is usually a
reason for the anger. Some-
thing you do not like is within
yourself and you wish to es-
cape it.

If you hate a person, you hate something in something in

him that is a part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves
doesn't disturb us.
- Hermann Hesse, Demian

84
 TOLERANCE

CASE: Think of your life

NEW: Realize that you have

every right to make mistakes,
just like everyone else

One good discovery follows

a hundred mistakes. Go all
out. Try something - anything.
It will be worth it regardless
of the result. Every time you
try something that doesn’t
work you should congratulate
yourself on another excellent
attempt. Success cannot resist
forever.

Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you

will lose the ability to learn new things and to move for-
ward with your life.
- Dr. David M. Burns

85
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of people in

general

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you are the kind of person
who forgives and forgets

Hanging-on to hard feelings

only does damage to you. The
person you’re mad at feels
fine and doesn’t experience an
increased risk of heart-attack.
Let it go. This puts you
squarely in command.

To err is human, to forgive divine.

- Alexander Pope

86
 TOLERANCE

CASE: Think of people in

general

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you know that most people
are exactly like you in many
respects

You can think of a lot of ways

in which you are like other
people. When you perceive
people as being like you, a
comfortable state results.

Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so

much.
- Oscar Wilde

87
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of an annoying

behavior that someone has

NEW: Realize that you have

likely committed a similar act
and, therefore, are exactly the
same

Realizing sameness it the key

to this one. We all do things
that are not always perfect. In
that respect, we are exactly the
same as the next person. In
this exercise, use an example
where you can think of an an-
noying behavior that you have
caught yourself engaging in.

Forgiveness does not mean ignoring what has been done

or putting a false label on an evil act. It means, rather,
that the evil act no longer remains as a barrier to the
relationship.
- Martin Luther King Jr.

88
 TOLERANCE

CASE: Think of someone you

dislike

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you always come out
looking good because you
treated this person with respect

You should always treat

people with the respect you
wish to have for yourself. It
brings satisfaction and the
right to self respect.

To wrong those we hate is to add fuel to our hatred. Con-

versely, to treat an enemy with magnanimity is to blunt
our hatred for him.
- Eric Hoffer

89
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90
 COMMUNICATION

8
Communication
Good communication is stimulating as
black coffee, and just as hard to sleep af-
ter.
- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

91
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of an offensive

person talking to you

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when they actually are not trying
to be offensive but are simply
ignorant

Another old saying goes

something like this: you can-
not insult an idiot. It works in
reverse as well. There can be
no reason to take offence to
words from someone who is
ignorant.

There can be no offense where none is taken.

- Japanese proverb

92
 COMMUNICATION

CASE: Think of people in this

world

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you make them happy just
by your presence

Bring light to all situations -

it makes you more valuable.
When people are depressed
and gloomy all the time no-
body wants to be around
them. Lift someone’s spirits
and put a smile on their face
by emitting happiness.

Talk happiness. The world is sad enough without your

woe.
- Orison S. Marden

93
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of conversing with

somebody

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you are a fantastic listener

Do more than just listen: par-

ticipate. Live in the other
person’s world for a few mo-
ments. It feels good.

Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flat-

tery.
- Dr. Joyce Brothers

94
 COMMUNICATION

CASE: Think of conversing with

people

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when ideas flow freely between
you and the people in your life

Amen.

Our heritage and ideals, our codes and standards - the

things we live by and teach our children - are preserved
or diminished by how freely we exchange ideas and feel-
ings.
- Walt Disney

95
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of a situation

where you are communicating

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when your words are eloquent
and perfect

A person who stands silently

most of the time, then injects
well-planned solutions at just
the right moment will be the
one that is remembered.

The articulate voice is more distracting than mere noise.

- Seneca

96
 COMMUNICATION

CASE: Think of your behavior

with other people

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you are a radiant example
of wisdom and goodness

When a person sees a behav-

ior that resonates as useful the
natural thing to do is imitate
it.

Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is

the only thing.
- Albert Schweitzer

97
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of communicating

with someone

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you are perfectly in tune
with the language of the eyes

The eyes tell the truth - all you

have to do is read them and
trust yourself.

When the eyes say one thing, and the tongue another, a
practiced man relies on the language of the first.
- Emerson

98
 COMMUNICATION

CASE: Think of communicating

with someone

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you are very careful not to
waste time trying to force things

Let’s face it: logic is usually

worthless when it comes to
convincing people of any-
thing. You must learn to flow
with the will of the other per-
son and not to fight it. Some-
time this allows you to gently
change its direction.

A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion

still.
- German proverb

99
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

100
 CHARM

9
Charm
It’s absurd to divide people into good and
bad. People are either charming or te-
dious.
- Oscar Wilde

101
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of seeing

someone succeed at something

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you make them feel really
good about it

A solid pat on the back is one

of the best feelings in the
world - for giver and receiver
alike. When you see a person
do well you owe them some
recognition. Treat yourself the
same way. If you do some-
thing well you owe yourself a
hearty congratulation every
single time.

When someone does something good, applaud! You will

make two people happy.
- Samuel Goldwyn

102
 CHARM

CASE: Think of the people you

are around

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you always make these
people feel good about
themselves

Accentuate the positive.

Charm: that quality in others of making us more satis-

fied with ourselves.
- Henri Frédéric Amiel

103
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of being around

people

NEW: Imagine how easy it is to

say nice things and how good it
feels to put a smile on
someone’s face

All of mankind is putty in

your hands! Charm is one of
the most valuable assets any-
one can ever obtain. It is a
truly powerful force for good.

Civility costs nothing, and buys everything.

- Lady Mary Wortley Montagu

104
 CHARM

CASE: Think of dealing with

people

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when your charm makes you a
constant winner

When you treat others with re-

spect, it really does not mat-
ter if you win. You are already
valuable in the eyes of other
people.

It's not true that nice guys finish last. Nice guys are win-
ners before the game even starts.
- Addison Walker

105
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of being around

people

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you notice nice things
about everyone

Make sure you can be sincere,

but you should always be able
to come up with kind words.

A beauty is a woman you notice; a charmer is one who

notices you.
- Adlai Stevenson

106
 CHARM

CASE: Think of talking with

another person

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you regularly mention nice
things that you notice about
them

It could be new shoes, a hair-

cut, an original idea. There is
always something to point out
that will make a person feel
special.

To say a compliment well is a high art and few possess

it.
- Mark Twain

107
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of dealing with

people

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you always speak well of
others

Try to make others look good,

no matter how you feel about
them. Accentuate the positive
and be constructive with any
criticism.

Charm is a glow within a woman that casts a most be-

coming light on others.
- John Mason Brown

108
 CHARM

CASE: Think of people in

general

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when your charm sparkles
brilliantly, like a diamond in the
light

Naturally, this equally applies

to both men and women.
When someone makes you
feel good, you enjoy being
around them. This is com-
pletely natural and it will
never change.

It’s [charm] a sort of bloom on a woman. If you have it,

you don’t need to have anything else; and if you don’t
have it, it doesn’t much matter what else you have.
- J. M. Barrie

109
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of someone doing

something stupid

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when this is a perfect opportunity
say something positive anyway

Let people be as they will be.

It will be a big relief and you
can not change them anyway.
We all have to learn hard les-
sons and these lessons are
valuable.

We communicate happiness to others not often by great

acts of devotion and self-sacrifice, but by the absence of
faultfinding and censure, by being ready to sympathize
with their notions and feelings, instead of forcing them
to sympathize with ours.
- Adam Clarke

110
 CHARM

CASE: Think of communicating

with people

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you are expert at putting
your ideas in a light that does not
offend people

Some people easily become

angry when things are not
phrased carefully. Take your
time and construct your words
with great care. It pays off
handsomely.

Tact is the knack of making a point without making an

enemy.
- Howard W. Newton

111
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of a time during

the day when you are usually
bored

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you always take time to
notice the humorous side of
things

Laughter is an absolute essen-

tial in life and it greatly affects
your health.

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

- E. E. Cummings

112
 CHARM

CASE: Think of being around

other people

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when your happiness is
contagious

Do everyone a favor and be

happy, at least most of the
time. If you concentrate on
positive things people will
love to have you around.

Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others with-

out getting a few drops on yourself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

113
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114
 SELF IMAGE

10
Self Image
People treat us the way we teach them to
treat us.
- Wayne Dyer

115
INNER-FIRE KINDLING

CASE: Think of your self

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you are always honest with
yourself

Honesty is the best policy, as

they say. People admire those
who are honest because they
appear to have courage. Hon-
est people are also comfort-
able to be around and they
make one feel secure.

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must

follow, as the night of the day, thou canst not then be
false to any man.
- William Shakespeare

116
 SELF IMAGE

CASE: Think of your self

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you have a strict policy of
treating yourself like a fine
treasure

You have great deal of poten-

tial. Let it remain unique and
grow.

The art of being yourself at your best is the art of unfold-

ing your personality into the man you want to be. Be
gentle with yourself, learn to love yourself, to forgive
yourself, for only as we have the right attitude toward
ourselves can we have the right attitude toward others.
- Wilfred Peterson

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CASE: Think of the people in

this world

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when every person you know of
loves you unconditionally

People are capable of loving

each other in spite of a myriad
of faults.

The supreme happiness of life is the conviction of being

loved for yourself, or more correctly, being loved in spite
of yourself.
- Victor Hugo

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 SELF IMAGE

CASE: Think of your reputation

NEW: Imagine what it will be like

when you always try to be what
you believe in

It is the closest thing to true

honesty.

The way to gain a good reputation is to endeavor to be

what you desire to appear.
- Socrates

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120
 EPILOGUE

11
Epilogue
I believe the true road to preeminent
success in any line is to make yourself
the master of that line.
- Andrew Carnegie

If you followed my advice in chapter one by doing only one

exercise per day, you now live in a completely different world.
You find beauty and pleasure in places never imagined and life
is a brilliant treasure. Nobody could have even begun to prepare
you for this experience because there are no words to describe
it.
Things are different now: your relationships have found a new
feeling of closeness and warmth because the sense of isolation
has mysteriously disappeared. Happiness is the rule rather than
the exception.
You learned to love, share and experience joy. People care
about you. Some of them even love you. Working with others

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towards common goals brings you a deep sense of satisfaction.

You find ways to enjoy life that you never even conceived of
before. These things have occurred because the results of the
Hammer are everlasting and life changing in the most positive
of ways.
It is my conviction that you did the right thing and took the
process slow and easy. You followed the instructions with
precision and now you are sublimely shocked and
overwhelmingly satisfied. Never in your wildest dreams did
you think you had such potential or that it could be so effortless
to unlock it.
Hearty Kudos to you for a job well done.

122
 INDEX

Index bleeding 23
blend 19
boredom 36
Bovee 44
A brain 21, 23, 24, 25, 26
brain feels tired 15
A.W. Pinero 46 Byron 36
Abraham Maslow 17
Accentuate the positive 103, 108 C
accept yourself 66
activate 21 CASE 18, 19, 20, 23, 26
activity 23 change your perspective 19
Adam Clarke 110 chaotic 21
Addison Walker 105 Charles M. Schwab 39
Adlai Stevenson 106 Charm 101, 103
adversity 36 charm 105, 109
Albert Schweitzer 55, 97 chosen 18, 27
Alexander Pope 86 Christopher Morley 42
Angela Duvall 72 combine 19
Anger 61 communicating 96, 98, 99, 111
anger 62, 63 Communication 91
angry 61, 63, 111 compassionate 53
Anne Morrow Lindbergh 91 concentration 21
annoying behavior 88 connect 21
Anthony A. Cooper 76 Constructing a dream 39
Antoine de Saint-Exupery 45 control 65
arguing 65 conversing 95
Aristotle 62 courage 74
assisting others 57 creation of the mixture 22
associated singularity 26 credit 58
Author’s notes 27 criticism 108
cycles of life 33
B
D
balance-out 32
ballots 17 Daydreaming 38
Beatrice Vincent 67 dealing with people 105
bedbugs 12 decisions 71
behavior 67, 97 depressed 93
Ben Jonson 32 desirable outcome 39
biological response 79 destinies 37
bleed 22, 24 Dr. David M. Burns 85
Dr. Joyce Brothers 94

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dream 39 Giving 53
dreams 38 gloomy 93
dye 22 goal 21
good and bad 101
E good deed 57, 58
E. E. Cummings 112 goodness 54, 97
Emerson 98 goodwill 55
emotional 65 H
endorphins 56
Eric Hoffer 89 Hammer 17, 26
Euripides 30 Hammer Strategy 12
evil 88 Hand Actuated Mental Recondi-
Example 97 tioning 12
example 12, 18, 97 hands 18
exercise 19, 26 happiness 70, 71, 93, 113
eyes 18, 98, 105 happiness of others 59
happy 93, 102
F hard feelings 86
fantasy 39 hard lessons 110
feel good 49, 102, 103 hatred 89
feelings 19, 102 heart-attack 86
first Hammer 18 helping others 56
force 99 Henri Frédéric Amiel 103
forgive 50, 87 Henry Ford 35
Forgiveness 88 Heraclitus 37
forgiveness 50 Hermann Hesse, Demian 84
forgives 86 hidden abilities 43
Frank A. Clark 58 Honesty 116
Frank Murphy 77 honesty 119
Freedom 69 Hope 29
freedom 71, 75, 77 Howard W. Newton 111
friend 45 humorous side 112
future 24, 25, 38 I
G ideas 26, 95
game 17 image 64
George MacDonald 49 images 79
George Washington Carver 53 imagination 39
German proverb 99 imagining thoughts 18, 19
gift 49 imitate 97
insult 92

124
 INDEX
interact 47 mankind 104
interfere 75 Mark Twain 107
Introduction 11 Martin Luther King Jr. 88
irritating behavior 84 mature 67
Maya Angelou 38, 41
J meditate 25
J. M. Barrie 109 memories 19
Jack C Yewell 81 memory 25
James Stephens 73 memory bank 57
Japanese proverb 92 Mentally push 78
John Dryden 70 misery 30
John Mason Brown 108 mistakes 85
John Milton 54 mixture 21, 25, 26
Joseph Addison 11 Mrs. Ernest Hemingway 78
judge 83 Mzwakhe Mbuli 48

K N

Karl Reiland 56 Nelson Boswell 34

kind words 106 nerves 83
neurons 23
L NEW 18, 20, 23
no 74
Lady Mary Wortley Montagu 104 notice 106
Latin proverb 63
let go 51 O
Letting go of bad feelings 50
liberty 70 offence 92
life 72, 73, 85 offend 111
light 93, 111 offensive person 92
listen 94 Orison S. Marden 93
listener 47, 94 Oscar Wilde 87, 101
logic 99 overcome your anger 63
looking good 89 P
Love 41
love 42, 44, 46 palms 18
loves 118 partner 17
loving 118 past 24
Lydia M. Child 59 pat on the back 102
patience 66
M patterns 21
Mahatma Gandhi 74 Paul Tillich 47

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peace of mind 71 S
people 42, 43, 48, 49, 51, 55, 56,
57, 58, 59, 67, 71, 82, 86, 87, Saint Francis De Sales 66
93, 95, 103, 104, 106, 109, same 82, 84, 88
113, 118 Samuel Goldwyn 102
per day 26 satisfaction 89
Percy Shelley 33 self 66, 116, 117
perfect your dreams 39 Self Image 115
person 50, 83 self-love 44
Peter Ustinov 50 Seneca 96
Peyton Conway March 71 sensation 45
Philo of Alexandria 82 sincere 106
phobia 14 Sioux Indian prayer 83
physiological response 20 Sir Walter Scott 79
positive attitude 12 situation 19, 24
positive concepts 24 smash 18
positive things 113 smile 93, 104
potential 117 Socrates 119
power of reason 79 someone you dislike 89
powerful 65 sophisticated 67
present 24, 25 sparkle 46
problems special gift 49
30, 31, 32, 33, 36, 37, 78, 79 speed 21
puddle 22 spouse 45
St. Francis De Sales 43
R Strategy 12
strategy 22
Ralph Waldo Emerson 64, 113 strength 32
recognition 102 stress 64
reflect 76 stupidity 110
reinforcing 26 subconscious 43
release 51 subject 23
repetition 26 succeed 34, 102
reputation 119 Success 85
respect 71, 89, 105 suggestions 79
reward 45 switched 23
right 85 sympathetic 53
rights 77
rule of thumb 15 T
rules 12
talking 47, 107
target thoughts 23

126
 INDEX
teamwork 45
thank someone 48
The Hammer 12
Thomas Fuller, M.D 31
Thomas Jefferson 61, 65, 69, 75
Those who love 46
time 37, 112
Tolerance 81
tolerant 53
transform 38
trust 98

V
Victor Hugo 118
view 59
vision 35, 39
voice your own thoughts 73

W
Walt Disney 29, 95
water 22
Wayne Dyer 51, 115
Wilfred Peterson 117
William Shakespeare 116
winner 105
Winston Churchill 57
Wisdom 37
wisdom 36, 97
wish 34, 35, 38, 39
words 96
work with these people 56
working together 45
world 54
worrying 79

Y
young forever 46
your life 70, 75
your self 44
yourself 76

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128