CARY MAE S.

ABUKE
HUMSS 12-BL. GRATIA
MR.OASAN

REFLECTION ON THE RESTLESS HEART OF ST. AUGUSTINE

Restless Heart is foremost the story of a man and his mother. This bonds the movie to all
viewers, as every man or woman has a mother, be she good or bad, as judged by her sons and
daughters, or others. So it was with Augustine and Monica, and so it was with my own mother
and me. Good things I know of my own mother, I saw in Monica. And for others less fortunate
than I, Monica Guerritore, in the role of Monica, stands as a wonderful role model.

The greatest compliment I can give to Guerritore is simply that she was Monica, a Christian
woman, devoted to her faith in Jesus Christ, to her pagan husband, and to her wandering,
narcissistic, son. She suffered many “arrows and slings of outrageous fortune” with prayer,
peace, and faith in the saving Grace of our Lord. However, even while she calmly endured a
cheating husband and Augustine’s scorn, she never lost hope that both would find their own way
to Christ. Her hope was evident at the deathbed of her husband, in her countenance when she
first saw Augustine watching Bishop Ambrose preach, and culminated in her ecstasy at
Augustine’s baptism. Monica’s joy in relating her prophetic dream that Augustine would
eventually be with her in her Faith, and not she in his Manichaean wandering, was palpable. I
saw my mother’s faith and hope in Monica, a faith unshaken by her son’s sinful ways, and a
hope he would find his own way to Jesus Christ.

However, Monica was not passive in her prayers. She did not hide and whisper her prayers for
Augustine and her husband to become Christians; she did not turn the other cheeks at each
insult. Monica challenged Augustine on all his sins, including his disrespect for her and her
faith. Monica was not only a loving and prayerful mother, but also a strong mother, a mother
seeking to raise her son with character. I have read Augustine was one of the first Christians to
write about the equality of women as being created in God’s image, not Man’s image. There is
no doubt the strength of his mother, and the ultimate respect he had for her, were essential to him
coming to this profound realization.

Augustine was portrayed by several different actors, all of whom did a very good job portraying
him as a boisterous, self-absorbed youth, an over-confident, yet troubled, young man, and a
secure, peaceful future Saint. In Augustine’s childhood, I saw my own, unconcerned with
anything other than what the now could bring me, and what I could take through my own will,
and not with any help from God. I saw my own conceited self-creating problems for my parents
through my own sinful ways. As a youth, Augustine saw no need for God, and neither did
I. Like Augustine, as a young man I struggled with the same temptations as he. However,
Augustine tried to reason away his sins and find peace in the teachings of Mani, and in the logic
of the great philosophers. Like Augustine, I sought absolution in my career, and peace in my
hobbies. Augustine did not believe peace could be found in Jesus Christ, and neither did I.
Augustine’s conversion is gradual, taking almost half his life to occur. It is the product of his
own intellect searching for Truth, the mentoring of Ambrose, and his Mother’s prayers and
parenting. His conversion is symbolized in the movie as the panels of a Church mosaic come
together, slowly, to complete a beautiful image. In this manner, the movie showed me how we
can all become beautiful and complete through Faith in Jesus Christ.

Augustine as an old man is finally at peace. He has found his truth and lived most of his life
preaching it and living it. Ever the good shepherd, when given the chance to leave Hippo and
escape the besieging Vandals, he refuses to leave his flock. Augustine knows Truth lies in Jesus,
in serving others and God, and therein he finds peace. It is in the final stage of his life that
Augustine shows all of us the path to Truth, although not easy, can be discovered if we only
allow ourselves to listen to our own restless hearts.

Bishop Ambrose plays an important role in Augustine’s development. He is a perfect role

model. When Ambrose first appears, he interrupts the Roman Emperor’s court to demand Rome
repay the debt owed to an indebted, imprisoned soldier. Ambrose’s selfless desire to help an old
soldier who had given most of his life to the service of Rome is timely, as our soldiers now,
active and veterans, struggle with long, numerous, tours in faraway lands, far away from loved
ones, and the current suicide epidemic ravaging our defenders. Perhaps the movie foretells the
saving Grace of our Lord as the answer to such an epidemic? Ambrose defends his faith against
pagans and heretics, while suggesting Augustine allow the Truth he seeks to find him. This
culminates in Ambrose revelation that the Truth Augustine seeks is not an abstract thing, or idea,
but is Jesus Christ, the Son of God.

The movie changed me. I could not help but examine my own life and own journey of Faith in
the light of Augustine’s. I draw inspiration for my own prayers for the health and safety of my
family from Monica. I will watch it again, and again, and again.