Jaylene Davis

Kent

2nd Hour

Newspaper

Self Help

A Message For Anyone Who Feels Like Giving Up

For the longest time, I only saw black and white.

Life was either good, or life was bad. There was no in-between.

However, I have found after the lowest of lows comes the highest of highs.

It may sound cliche, but if I needed to tell myself anything when I was struggling, it would

be: “Hope is real; help is real.”

Because the truth is this: in the moment, everything seems black and white, but in reality,

life is full of many shades and colors that can only be seen when people take a step back and

choose to open their eyes to the true colors hidden within situations.

When I was suffering from mental illness, I always thought things were never going to get

any better. Since everyone saying that life was going to get better didn't understand how I felt, I just

thought that was how life was going to be, miserable and intolerable forever.

“Of course,” I thought, “Mrs. Sunshine is telling me it’s going to be alright, but what does

she know?”

I am much happier now; I wasn't before.

Here is that dark story. One day about two years ago, it was like a flip switched, and I

stopped talking to everyone, even my family, because I didn’t want them to be a part of my life; in

fact, I didn't want my life, and it was to the point where it was so extreme I spent about eight weeks

in hospitals over the course of a few months.

 So, I know how life can be, and when I say this, I do not mean I am like any other high

schooler struggling within. I have experienced many things that changed my entire character and

changed the way I look at the world completely that has set me apart from the other students who

are struggling with depression and anxiety.

During my freshman year, previous issues with my parents that I had bottled up were paired

with the new stress of high school, and that put me over the top.

While I was growing up, my parents were more distant than my friends’ parents, but I never

thought of it as a problem because I liked the simplicity of our relationship. I always listened to

them, and we were always on good terms and never talked about serious issues to keep the peace.

They divorced when I was young and never told me why, so I always believed deep down

that I was the problem that led to their demise. It was difficult growing up around parents who

couldn't talk to each other without yelling. Being surrounded by that in my primitive years made

me feel like life would be less complicated and my family would be more content without me

around.

Combined with the stress of new high school relationships, I couldn't hold in the pain, let

alone live with myself in this world that was suddenly not so perfect. The thing is, nothing is

perfect. I wish I understood then that perfection is an illusion, and just because things are far from

perfect doesn't mean they should be life-ending.

High school is new to everyone their freshman year, but for some reason, I felt like I was

completely different and experiencing everything more extreme than the other kids. The truth is, I

wasn’t crazy or overreacting; I was just making BIG mistakes and learning from them for the first

time in my life.
 I remember getting severe feelings, like a storm surrounding me, when all I had seen

growing up were sunny skies, and I was never prepared to survive a storm. But is anyone, really

prepared for growing up?

When I started seeing a therapist for my problems, it seemed like I wasn't making much

progress during the hour-long crying sessions. But what I didn't realize is that the beginning years

of therapy were a time for me to break through my shell that had formed over my heart after years

of not talking about my feelings.

From middle school until now, I've had about five different therapists and tried a mountain

of pills to stable my mood. And I’ve learned that growth is not about my doctor or medications but

about my own willingness to grow myself and form a trusting relationship with my therapist so I

could finally cope with my feelings in a healthy way.

Everyone struggles at some point in her life, and trying to skip over the process of growing

one’s character is irresponsible.

Today, struggling is looked upon as weak; when in reality, a struggle is just someone’s

character blooming from within, disguised as a mental illness.

Once someone finally sees themselves bloom, they can learn to move forward, scars and

all, and finally be content. Because of course, struggling seems like someone’s falling apart; but

with time, the right coping skills, and an effort to feel better, they can realize that they’re not falling

apart but actually finding their self under the broken pieces.

Just remember, bad times are just times that are bad. Even though it seems things are falling

out underneath me sometimes, it will all be okay. The bad times will pass, and the good times will

shine in like the sunrise after a dark night.