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Knights of the

Dinner Table
TM

No.12
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The Good, The Bad, and the Unlucky!


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Whether you’re looking to spice up a pre-existing campaign or don’t need


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fantasy campaign setting, the individual resource books offer a cost effec-
tive way to put that extra spark into any gaming world. Just like the rest of
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The Kingdoms of Kalamar™ The Kingdoms of Kalamar™


volume II: volume I:
Mythos of the Divine and Worldly Sourcebook of the Sovereign Lands

Mythos of the Divine and Worldly Sourcebook of the Sovereign Lands


This 88 page guidebook painstakingly describes This 100 page tome details the history of the
the 44 deities and religions of Tellene. Volume peoples and nations of Tellene. From the depths of
II also includes details on Tellene’s major secret the mysterious Vohven Jungle to the vast savanna of
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Kingdoms of Kalamar Deluxe Boxed Set $29.95


In addition to both of the campaign sourcebooks (Mythos of the
Divine and Worldly and Sourcebook of the Sovereign Lands), the
Kingdoms of Kalamar boxed set contains two gorgeous 24” x 36” full
color maps depicting the lands of Tellene. These maps are printed
on extra heavy stock and have been recognized as the finest fan-
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these treasures.

*Advanced Dungeons & Dragons is a registered trademark of Wizards of the Coast. Use of this trade-
mark is NOT sanctioned by the holder. Mythos of the Divine and Worldly, Sourcebook of the Sovereign
Lands, HackMaster and the Kingdoms of Kalamar are trademarks of Kenzer and Company.
Knights of the
KENZER &
COMPANY
Knights of the Dinner Table #12
“The Good, the Bad, and the Unlucky”
October, 1997
_______________
© Copyright 1997, Kenzer and
Dinner Table TM

Company, All Rights Reserved.


Knights of the Dinner Table™
magazine is published monthly by
“The Good, The Bad, and the Unlucky!”
Kenzer and Company.
Subscriptions: A one year By Jolly R. Blackburn
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Submissions: We accept
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running anything that other
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Send a S.A.S.E. for writer’s
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Editorial of a Madman
“Where the hell are we??”
- Lost Ball State University Student
CRIES FROM THE ATTIC
funniest thing I’d seen in a very long time. I pointed to my

I
t was a warm August afternoon and I was just finishing
up the latest issue of KODT when I noticed a rather house and told them they were at the right place.
battered and rust-encrusted sedan pull into my drive- After exchanging some strange looks amongst each
way. I studied the car for a moment as it sat idling roughly other, one of them yelled back, “Are you sure? We’re
for several minutes. From my front window I could make looking for Jolly Blackburn!” That got me laughing once
out four occupants in the car - two in the front seat, two in again. I invited them in for the ‘grand tour’ and offered
back. They seemed to be in a huddle around a large road them soda and cold pizza. We even managed to squeeze in
map. The driver was wearing a BSU (Ball State an episode of The Simpsons and a couple of games of Give
University) baseball cap which was shoved back high on Me Da Brain during their visit.
his forehead. He looked like a man who had just been told, As it turned out, Bob, Mike, Craig and Dan had been on
“you can’t get there from here.” a roadtrip to a gameshop in Fort Wayne, Indiana where they
I shrugged and returned to my work. They were had bought up a few back issues of Knights of the Dinner
obviously lost and had pulled off the road to get their Table. They were reading the stories aloud on the trip back
bearings. It wasn’t the first time someone had gotten their home when they passed by the Marion exit on I-69 and
sense of direction turned around on the winding country realized it was the same town listed in the comic books as
road I live on. Fifteen minutes later I happened to glance being the home of the ‘editorial office’.
As Mike explained it, they drove up and down Monroe
out the window again and was surprised to find the car still
Pike looking for ‘a big office building’. I showed them my
sitting in my driveway.
computer set up, my game collection, the scary barn and my
The occupants had spilled out of the car and each of
raccoon. I felt like they had come a long way only to be
them seemed to be glancing or pointing in a different
disappointed.
direction with looks of utter confusion written all over their
A few hours later they decided that they should be
faces. By this point I had to know what was going on and
heading back to Ball State and as they were heading out the
opened my front door. Stepping out on the deck, one of the
door Craig turned and asked, “Would you mind if I ran out
lost souls noticed me and flashed a huge smile.
to car and got my camera? I’d like to get a picture of all of
“Man are we lost!!” he yelled out. I wasn’t sure if he
us standing in front of your house.” Again, I laughed.
was making a statement or asking a question. As they were piling into their car and we said our
“Where you guys heading?” I asked. goodbyes, I told them I was sorry if the KODT offices were
“Back to Ball State!” yelled one of the other guys, a disappointment. Almost in unison the shot back with,
“Until we decided to make a detour to Marion.” “Hell No!!! This is great!!! We’re gonna come back and
“Detour? Why?” hang out with you sometime!!”
“We’re looking for the Knights of the Dinner Table Just as they were pulling out on the road, Dan put his
editorial offices!” head out the window and waved. “Hey!!! You should put
“Knights of the Din....offices?” I thought for a moment this in the comic book!!!”
wondering what the hell they were talking about when it hit Good idea, Dan. Y’all come back now - ya hear??
me. I began to laugh. Not one of those, “ha ha - I get the
punchline” laughs. No, it was one of those, “aaaahhh
haaaaa!!! I’m laughing at YOU” sort of laughs.
The site of these poor guys, off the beaten path, looking Jolly R. Blackburn
for the KenzerCo editorial offices [Indiana branch] was the September 15, 1997
THEY COME FREE WITH YEAH!!! THE BOOKS ARE EVEN HEY BRIAN!!! HOW DID YOU GET
HACK-NOIA: PRINTED IN A SPECIAL SUCH LARGE FRAMES??
THE CONSPIRACY FILES!!! POLARIZED INK!!! I THOUGHT THERE WAS ONLY
PRETTY KEWL HUH?? YOU HAVE TO WEAR THE GLASSES ONE STYLE TO CHOOSE FROM.
TO READ THE RULES!!!
HEY??? WHAT’S HUH?? OH....I WAS A
WITH THE DARK BETA-TESTER.
SUNGLASSES??
Our Readers Talk Back!

TABLE TALK: READER MAIL


Dear KODT, who was running the adventure. Mike replies that he
In issue #9 there were a couple of apparent glitches. ran the adventure for himself. He also tells us that he
On page 27, 1st panel and page 29, first panel, some of ran combat fairly and didn't cheat on any of the rolls for
the dialogue is missing and ends in mid sentence. either side. Needless to say, his characters mowed
What gives? Could you please print the missing text? down all of the Storm Giants without getting more than
Bob Cirillo a minor scratch.
via E-mail Meanwhile, while Mike is explaining all of this to
Fred, the rest of are busy sharpening knives, tying hemp
Thanks for your letter Bob. The special neckware, at shooting killer looks at Mike. (Hey, we
Uncontrollable Laughter Ink* we use requires a potent took gaming mighty seriously back then.)
mix of chlorinated solvents whose transdermic properties After a couple of seconds Fred sits back and says,
I sometimes underestimate. I was quite loopy after "Okay, Fine. Now that that's out of the way. Let's get
finishing Issue #9 and missed these errors during to some gaming."
proofing. As punishment for this blunder, my next Mike is sitting there with this shit-eating grin on his
‘paycheck’ consisted of loose change from a half-dozen face. The rest us have just decided to add Fred to the
different Eastern European currencies. Fortunately the guest list of the Hanging Party, until Fred continues
Polish grocery up the street would accept this but I’ve talking: "Okay, your characters are meeting at your
been living on chleb, kapusniak and pierogi for the last favorite inn to discuss what your next adventure will be.
month. I have learned my lesson and hopefully you will The Paladin and the Ranger haven't arrived yet. The
not see egregious mistakes like this in the future! door to the tavern opens and in walks the Paladin and
In answer to your question, the correct dialog for Bob Ranger but they look different."
should have been: on page 27, “Come on B.A.! We’re At this revelation Mike just smiles. Fred goes on:
going to charge admission!” and on page 29, “We’re "Yeah, they look very different. The Paladin is wearing
getting to that. Brian blacked out from an elbow blow jet-black armor that literally sucks light into its inky
to the throat!” blackness and you can feel the waves of Pure Evil
Steve J. radiating from both of them without even rolling."
*see KODT #10: Table Talk: Reader Mail Mike's smile starts to fade. He's looking worried.
"Huh? Whadda ya mean evil?"
Dear KODT, Fred looks at the rest of us and says, “So what are
Here's a story that dates back to the blissful, plotless you all doing?"
days of 1st edition AD&D. I've changed the names to "Attacking!!!" we gleefully cry out in unison.
protect the idiots. Mike, biting the bullet says, "Alright, it's your
Our gaming group usually had from 6 to 8 members at funerals. I'm 4th level you're all 3rd. I'll mop the place
any given time and our ages ranged from 11 year olds to up with you."
high school students. Our GM was a college student Mike gets first initiative and attacks. "Ha! A 15! I
named Fred who worked at a hobby store part-time. hit!" he cries.
Nothing ever fazed Fred. No matter what kind of Fred cuts in, "No I'm sorry, but you missed."
outrageously stupid things we could come up with, it "WHAT?!! That's a solid hit for a 4th level Paladin."
wouldn’t surprise him in the least. He was the master of "Yeah" says Fred, "and if that's what you were you'd
winging an adventure. You'd never know he was making have hit. But as a 1ST LEVEL, ANTI-PALADIN it's a
things up as he went along. miss."
In those days all of us were Power Gamers. We'd "1st level....?" Mike starts to say, but Fred,
scour the books looking for loopholes we could exploit to continues, "Yeah, Y'see that last little adventure you
our advantage over Fred but somehow he'd always and the Ranger went on changed more than just your
outthink us in the end. level. It also changed your alignments from Lawful
One guy in our group, named Mike, was a massive Good to Lawful Evil.
Über-Gamer. He could never gain levels for his "But, how?" asked Mike, "All I did was slaughter
characters fast enough. So one day he came up with his some Storm Giants."
own method for gaining experience points and hoards of "And that's where you went wrong. You had to be
greedy and looked in the monster manual for the giants
treasure. worth the most experience points didn't you? But, you
Mike was playing two characters in our game, a failed to notice that STORM GIANTS ARE CHAOTIC
lawful good Paladin and a lawful good Ranger. At our GOOD! Clearly both your characters broke alignment
last gaming session he had just gained 3rd level for each and were turned into the opposite one: Lawful Evil.
of his characters. No problem. When we met again to Now we all know according to the rules that when a
play, Mike pulls out his characters and announces that character is forced to change alignment they LOSE ALL
they are now 4th level and have gained umpteen amounts THEIR PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE POINTS and go
of magic items and treasure. The rest of us go ballistic at back to 1ST LEVEL."
this revelatio. Of course Fred doesn't even bat an eye. Needless to say the battle was over quickly and the
Fred just calmly asks Mike to explain how this change in rest of the party became richer that day thanks to the
his characters happened so quickly. "Brave" sacrifice of the Ranger and the Paladin. HEH!
Mike looks at us all with this smug grin and explains. HEH!
His characters had gone adventuring without the rest of Well, I hope you enjoyed this little anecdote.
the party. He further tells us that the dungeon that his
characters went through consisted of one large room Christopher E. Wolf
filled with 30 Storm Giants and their treasure. Fred asks via E-mail

GOT SOMETHING TO SAY??? HUH??? YOU CAN WRITE TO US VIA E-MAIL AT


J O L LY R B @ A O L . C O M ! ! OR YOU CAN SEND YOUR SNAIL MAIL TO
K O D T L E T T E R B O X , 1003 MONROE PIKE, MARION, IN 46953
KODT FANS DEMANDED IT...
IT’S ALL HERE!!!

CRAMMED
BETWEEN TWO
COVERS AND
BURSTING AT THE
SEAMS.

ALL THE KODT


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AVAILABLE NOW FROM YOUR


LOCAL GAME OR COMIC SHOP!!
An Overbearing Situation Story suggested by Roy Gargagliano

WEIRD PETE’S
WHY SO GLUM, B.A.??? YOU
LETTING THOSE SPOILED, OFFICIAL HACKMASTER™
HOT OFF THE PRESSES!!
SISSIFIED PLAYERS OF TOURNEY SITE
YOURS GET YOU DOWN?? SPACE HACK
Module SH7:
JUST IN!! OPE SHATTERED MOON RISING
GUCCI
DICE BAGS!!
N 15 MILLION KRELLIAN HACK CRUISERS
ARE CROSSING THE ZONE!!
SOMEBODY IS GONNA CATCH HELL!!!
Free Bucket of Hack Trek Collectible
Dice
with each $5.00 of Purchase!!!! COME IN AND BSU STEAM
ARM WRESTLE TUNNEL FORAY ‘97
THE MONKEY SIGN UP HERE!!
FOR A BUCK!!

YEAH...WELL....YOU KNOW PETE, SAME OL’ STORY. EVERY WEEK HERE’S A LITTLE FREE TIP FOR YOU. DUST
I WORK UP A KICK ASS ADVENTURE FOR THE GUYS AND EVERY OFF YOUR 1ST EDITION COPY OF THE
WEEK THEY MANAGE TO TURN IT INTO A HACK FEST!! HACKMASTER GM’S GUIDE
AND READ APPENDIX F!! IT
CONTAINS A LITTLE GEM THAT WAS
DAMN IT BOY!!! I’VE BEEN TELLING YOU FOR YEARS THAT
REMOVED IN LATER EDITIONS. YOU SHOULD
YOU’RE TOO SOFT ON ‘EM!!! YOU’VE LOST THEIR RESPECT!!!!
FIND WHAT YOU’RE LOOKING FOR ON PAGE
AND WHEN YOU LOSE THEIR RESPECT YOU LOSE CONTROL OF
394, 2ND COLUMN, 3RD PARAGRAPH.
YOUR GAME. YOU’VE GOT TO GET THAT CONTROL BACK!!

I SUPPOSE YOU’RE RIGHT!!


BUT HOW DO I DO THAT?

ARMED WITH WEIRD PETE’S ADVICE B.A. EUREKA!!! IT’S THE HOLY GRAIL OF ALL
RETURNS HOME TO CONSULT HIS ⁄ST RULES!!! RIGHT THERE IN PRINT!!!! IT CLEARLY GIVES
EDITION HACKMASTER GUIDE THE GM THE ADVANTAGE AND...AND IT’S OFFICIAL!!!!
HOODY-HOO!!! THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!!!
LET’S SEE WHAT WE HAVE
HERE. HMMMM..... ADVANCED
COMBAT OPTIONS:
OVERBEARING RULES.......
OVERBEARING
RULES??

5
THE FOLLOWING WEEK...
WELL GOOD EVENING
EVERYBODY!!! (HEH HEH) I HOPE HE DOES HAVE A
YOU’RE ALL PREPARED FOR PECULIAR LOOK
I DON’T LIKE HIS ATTITUDE, GUYS!
TONIGHT’S ADVENTURE. YOU’LL ON HIS FACE.
SOMETHING’S UP. B.A. YOU HAVEN’T
BE HAPPY TO KNOW THAT I PUT A BEEN EXPERIMENTING WITH HOME-
LOT OF EXTRA EFFORT BREWED RULES AGAIN HAVE YOU? GAWD I HOPE HE HASN’T
INTO THIS WEEK’S OUTING. TAMPERED WITH THE
RULES AGAIN.
HUH? WHAT’S WITH
THE GOOFY SMIRK??

WILL YOU GUYS CHILL OUT?? I JUST HAPPEN TO UH OH!! YOU HEAR THAT??? LIKE A BIG FREAKIN’ FOG HORN
BE EXCITED ABOUT TONIGHT’S GAME BECAUSE SOUNDING ALARM!!! I THINK YER RIGHT DAVE. HOME-BREWED
THINGS ARE GOING TO BE DIFFERENT FROM NOW.... RULE ALERT!!! HOME-BREWED RULE ALERT!!!

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! I JUST HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER ONE OF
THOSE VARIANT FUMBLE CHARTS HE LIKES TO THROW ON US!!

DON’T EVEN THE GREAT RULE-MANGLER


THINK IT!! IS ABOUT TO STRIKE.

I THOUGHT HE LEARNED HIS LESSON WITH THOSE HMMRRFFF! I TOOK FOUR POINTS OF
AND I GOT TRENCH FOOT DAMAGE PUTTING ON MY ARMOR.
FUMBLE CHARTS FOR MUNDANE JUST BECAUSE I DRANK
TASKS?? YOU KNOW, THE ONES THAT SAID I CHIPPED FROM A PUBLIC FOUNTAIN!
MY TOOTH WITH A SPOON WHILE EATING A BOWL OF SOUP?? YOU WERE LUCKY!
I GOT A PAPER CUT ON
MY EYE WHILE
BUT GUYS.... READING A SCROLL.

6
DAMN IT!! DO YOU HAVE TO SHOOT WHAT A RELIEF.
DOWN EVERY IDEA I BRING TO THE TABLE WELL WHY LOOKS LIKE THE
BEFORE YOU EVEN HEAR ME OUT?? YOU DIDN’T YOU SCARECROW FOUND A
THINK I’M STUPID OR SOMETHING?? HUH? JUST SAY SO? BRAIN!!! LET’S PLAY!!
BESIDES, NOTHING WAS SAID ABOUT HOME-
BREWED RULES. EVERYTHING WILL BE
OFFICIAL HACKMASTER RULES TONIGHT!! EVEN SO, LET’S STAY ON OUR
TOES. IT STILL DOESN’T
EXPLAIN THE STUPID SMIRK.

LATER THAT NIGHT...


oh gawd, don’t even
as you are entering the city you notice a BLIND BEGGAR sitting by the
think about it.
gate with a mangy, THREE-LEGGED DOG. as you pass by, the beggar
you guys are so
holds out a tin cup and cries out, “alms for the poor! alms for the poor!” PATHETIC!!
HE’S BLIND EH?? I LOOK IN THE I’M WATCHIN’ BOB’S BACK IN
i’m trying to
CUP. HOW MUCH MONEY IS IN IT?? CASE ANYONE NOTICES.
charm the dog!!
HUH?? I DUNNO. MAYBE
FOUR OR FIVE SILVER PIECES.
WHO CARES??

my thief, knuckles, uses his stealthy fingers to for crying out loud!!
oh the mutt is coppin’ the dog is just looking
take the silver pieces from the cup while cleverly an attitude huh??
replacing them with worthless slugs. (snicker) out for his master!!!
i whack him with the
hilt of my sword!!
it’s so sad he only has
okay, as soon as you do the three legs. poor pooch.
THREE-LEGGED DOG
begins to bark loudly at you!!!

7
DAVE SMACKS THE DOG ON THE HEAD WITH THE HILT OF HIS SWORD BUT IT ONLY CAUSES THE DOG TO YIP
IN PAIN AND RESUME BARKING EVEN LOUDER!!!! SUDDENLY FORTY-FIVE BEGGARS WORK
THEIR WAY OUT OF THE CROWD TO COME TO THEIR COMRADE’S AID. THEY ARE ARMED WITH BLUNT
WOODEN CLUBS, VARIOUS LENGTHS OF ROPE AND DAGGERS.

I LEAP INTO THE UNRULY MOB OF BEGGARS AND


BEGGARS?? YOU’VE GOT MOW THEM DOWN WITH MY HACKMASTER+12. THERE’LL BE
TO BE KIDDING. WHAT A JOKE!!! NOTHING BUT NUBS AND STUBS LEFT WHEN I’M FINISHED!!
I WASTE ‘EM WITH
MY CROSSBOW!!! BUT..BUT... I GOT FIREBALLS
(SIGH) COMING ONLINE!!!

NOT SO FAST GUYS!!! I’M IMPLEMENTING OPTIONAL COMBAT RULE 56:12 C, OVERBEARING. YOU’LL
FIND IT IN APPENDIX F IN THE FIRST EDITION HACKMASTER GM’S GUIDE!!! (AHEM)
ACCORDING TO THAT RULE AN ANGRY MOB AUTOMATICALLY SUCCEEDS WHEN ATTEMPTING AN OVERBEARING
ATTACK ON A SINGLE TARGET. ACCORDING TO CHAPTER 8 OF THE GUIDE,
10 BEGGARS CONSTITUTE A MOB!! SO YOU EACH HAVE TEN BEGGARS SUCCESSFULLY OVERBEARING YOU!!!
HEE-HEE-HOO!!! AN OVERBEARED TARGET IS RENDERED COMPLETELY HELPLESS AND CAN BE DISARMED AND BOUND.
UH-OH!!! NOT THE DAMN!!! HE’S COMBINED
FOUL!!! THIS TWO FLAWED RULES AND
TOTALLY SUCKS!! OVERBEARING RULES. CREATED A DEADLY TOOL!!
HUH? WHAT
THE...

YOU ARE ALL QUICKLY OVERBEARED AND PUMMELED SENSELESS!!! HAR HAR!!! THIS IS GREAT!!! THE ANGRY MOB OF
BEGGARS BIND YOU AND DRAG YOU DOWN THE MAIN STREET OF THE CITY TO THE MARKET PLACE. THERE THEY STRIP YOU OF ALL
YOUR POSSESSIONS, TATTOO YOU WITH RUNES OF SHAME AND MAKE YOU DO HUMILIATING TRICKS TO AMUSE THE EVER-GROWING
CROWD OF ON-LOOKERS. THEN THEY SUMMON THE MAGISTRATE AND DEMAND CRIMINAL PROSECUTION!! HAR!! HAR!!!

RUNES OF COME ON, B.A.!!! YOU’RE EXPLOITING A FEW I’LL BET WEIRD
SHAME??? I AIN’T STOP SMIRKIN’ AT OBSCURE, ANTIQUATED RULES!!!!! PETE IS BEHIND
LETTIN’ NO ONE PUT RUNES US!!! IT’S NOT FUNNY!! THIS...(GRRRRR)
OF SHAME ON ME!!!!

8
ALL RIGHT, B.A.!! I’M IMPRESSED. COMBINING THE AWH POOR BABIES!!!!! WAAAAAAAAA!!!! HOW’S IT FEEL
LAME OVERBEARING RULES WITH THE GETTING A TASTE OF YOUR OWN MEDICINE?? HUH??? YOU GUYS
BEGGAR-CLAUSE OF THE ANGRY HAVE BEEN USING THE RULES AGAINST ME ALL THESE YEARS AND
MOB RULES WAS A BRILLIANT MOVE!!! FINALLY, FINALLY, THE RULES WORK FOR ME!!! AND WHAT’S
I SALUTE YOU. OKAY?? BUT I SUGGEST WE BAN THIS YOUR REACTION??? YOU WANNA CRY ABOUT IT!!!!
PARTICULAR RULE-HYBRID FROM OUR TABLE. WELL TOUGH NOOGIES!!!! THINGS ARE GOING TO CHANGE AROUND HERE.
IT UNBALANCES THE GAME NOW BEFORE YOU GUYS ACT UP AND START GETTING OUT OF LINE,
YOU’LL REMEMBER THE LITTLE OVERBEARING
BULLET IN MY ARSENAL AND THINK TWICE ABOUT IT!!!!

HIS EYES ARE QUICKLY


DEATH TO ROBIN, TO
TYRANTS!!! GLAZING OVER!!
THE BAT
CAVE!!

THE FOLLOWING WEEK.... YEAH!! WE’RE GONNA FEED THEM AND BUY THEM
STUFF. ALL THEY HAVE TO DO IS OVERBEAR
ANYTHING THAT CROSSES OUR PATH!!!
WE’RE WALKING AROUND THE
HUH??? WHAT DO CITY AND EACH OF US IS GOING LET’S GO YEAH WE THOUGHT IT OVER!!!
YOU GUYS WANT TO TO HIRE TEN BEGGARS TO HANG OVERBEAR A THOSE OVERBEARING RULES
DO AGAIN?? OUT WITH US AT ALL TIMES. DRAGON!! WORK BOTH WAYS!!!

THE NEXT DAY....

WHAT?? WHAT???
WHY THE HELL ARE
YOU LOOKIN’ AT ME
LIKE THAT FOR??

9
Just For the Helm of it
WE’VE BEEN TAKING ONE HELLUVA
OKAY YOU OPEN THE DOOR TO FIND A LARGE
ANOTHER TRAP??? BEATING FROM FAILED DISARM-TRAP
ROOM, FORTY FEET BY FORTY FEET.
DAMN!!! THIS LEVEL IS FULL ATTEMPTS. THAT SLEEP GAS
IT’S COMPLETELY EMPTY EXCEPT FOR A
WAS A DOOZY.
RUSTY HELMET LYING ON THE FLOOR OF THEM. WELL, LOOKS LIKE
DIRECTLY IN THE CENTER OF THE ROOM.!! ANOTHER JOB FOR OUR THIEF!!!
YEAH, AND I THINK
GOOD LUCK, BOB!!
BOB’S STARTIN’ TO
HELLO!! THIS HAS TRAP LOSE HIS NERVE!!
WRITTEN ALL OVER IT. WHY
DIDN’T YOU JUST PUT A BIG
SIGN ON IT, B.A.!!

I GOTTA BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS ONE GUYS!!! PASS?? WHAT THE HELL’S WRONG WITH YOU??
IT’S JUST A STUPID RUSTY HELMET!! I THINK WE YOU KNOW WE ALWAYS DO A CLEAN SWEEP OF EVERY
SHOULD PASS ON THIS ONE. DUNGEON!!!! GET IN THERE AND DO YOUR JOB!!

HEY, I’M HURTIN’ HERE!!! IF BOB DOESN’T WANT TO DO IT,


THOSE EXPLOSIVE RUNES I DON’T THINK WE SHOULD FORCE
IN THE FACE LEFT ME A HIM. MAYBE THERE’S ANOTHER WAY.
LITTLE RATTLED OKAY?

HEY, LIL’ KNOBBYFOOT IS ALWAYS WHINING BECAUSE


WE NEVER LET HIM DO ANYTHING. LET’S HAVE HIM DO IT.
GOOD THINKING BOB!!! IF THE
I GOT A BETTER IDEA, LET’S MAKE GILEAD DO IT. HELMET TURNS OUT TO BE
IF HE WANTS TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE SUCCESS OF I PROTEST!!! WORTHLESS - NO LOSS!!! AND
THE PARTY, HERE’S HIS BIG CHANCE.* I TELL HIM IF YOU CAN’T USE MY WE CAN CHECK THIS ROOM OFF
HE CAN RETRIEVE THE HELMET HE CAN KEEP IT. HENCHMAN LIKE A ON THE MAP AS BEING
LIVING MINE-SWEEPER!! CLEARED.
UH, SARA, DON’T
FORGET YOU’RE
STILL UNCONSCIOUS
FROM THAT SLEEP
GAS TRAP BOB SET
OFF.

* See KODT # 8: Balance of Terror


10
GILEAD SCOFFS!!! I’LL STAY HERE AND HEY!! I DON’T THINK I LIKE HIS ATTITUDE!! I THINK WE
GUARD MY MISTRESS, SARINA THE RANGER. I’M NOT ON DON’T THINK I WONT SLAP HIM AROUND WITH BETTER HAVE LIL’
YOUR PAYROLL, SO GET YOUR OWN THE BACK OF MY GAUNTLET!!! SARINA’S OUT KNOBBY FOOT
DAMN HELMET¡¡¡ COLD SO SHE WON’T SAVE HIM FROM A GOOD EXPLAIN TO
BUTT-WHUPPIN’ RIGHT HERE!!! GILEAD WHAT
HAPPENS TO
IN-PARTY
SLACKERS AND
DUTY-SHIRKERS!!!*
YEAH!!! WE DON’T
COTTON TO
MOUTHY NPC
HENCHMAN!!!

TWENTY MINUTES LATER..... OKAY, BOB AND I PICK HIM UP AND HEAVE HIM OUT
INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM. WE WON’T LET
GILEAD IS STILL KICKING AND DAMN!!! HE’S A TOUGH LITTLE HIM OUT UNTIL HE RETRIEVES THE HELMET.
SCREAMING BUT YOU MANAGED SCRAPPER. HE BEANED ME WITH
TO KNOCK THE BACKPACK OUT THAT PACK FIVE TIMES!!! GRRRR!!!! AM
I AWAKE MAKE SURE HE STOMPS
OF HIS HANDS AND FINALLY
YET!!! AROUND REAL GOOD TO
WRESTLE HIM TO THE GROUND.
SET OFF ANY TRAPS!!

GILEAD PICKS UP THE HELMET AND PLACES IT ON HELM OF....HELM OF LORDSHIP???


HIS HEAD. THE RUST IMMEDIATELY FALLS AWAY I CALL DIBS!!! THAT HELMET IS PERFECT FOR ME!!
REVEALING BEAUTIFUL SILVER AND GOLD INLAYS
AGAINST A BRONZE BACKGROUND. IT IS THE
LEGENDARY HELM OF LORDSHIP!!!! I TELL GILEAD TO HEY??? YOU PROMISED
TOSS ME THE GILEAD COULD KEEP IT!!
HELMET!!
GIVE AN NPC A
MAJOR RELIC???
I DON’T THINK SO!!

* See KODT # 7: A Call for Heroes


11
GILEAD IS SUDDENLY TRANSFORMED. HE IS NOW GO GILEAD!!! I ALWAYS KNEW
SURROUNDED BY A STRONG MAGICAL AURA HE’D MAKE GOOD!! (CACKLE)
THAT EMITS A POWERFUL CHARM SPELL. ANYONE
STANDING IN HIS PRESCENSE MUST SAVE VS. CHARM WITH A
MINUS 10 MODIFIER OR IMMEDIATELY BECOME A LOYAL
FOLLOWER OF LORD GILEAD!!

ME SERVE GILEAD??? I’M AVERTING MY EYES!!!


LORD GILEAD¿¿ NEVER!!! NEVER I SAY!!!
NO WAY!! HE’S STILL WORKING
FOR US!!

TWENTY MINUTES LATER.....


GILEAD UNROLLS THE BLUEPRINTS ON THE TABLE AND EXPLAINS HOW HE WANTS HIS CASTLE BUILT . FIRST BOB AND DAVE WILL
CLEAR THE FOREST, SAVING THE TIMBER TO USE FOR LATER CONSTRUCTION. BRIAN IS QUARRYING LIMESTONE BLOCKS FROM THE
RIDGE LINE TWO MILES TO THE SOUTH. SARA, YOU’LL BE IN CHARGE OF THE EVER-GROWING THRONG OF FOLLOWERS AND
ASSIGNING THEM THEIR DUTIES. OH....DAVE, I ALMOST FORGOT, YOU FEEL COMPELLED TO GIVE GILEAD YOUR HACKMASTER +12.

DAMN IT!!! THERE’S GOTTA ALRIGHT!!! I’M THE THE LORDSHIP CHARM
CASTLE?? WHAT’S BE A WAY TO BREAK THIS TASKMASTER!! SPELL CAN ONLY BE
WRONG WITH THE CHARM SPELL!!! BROKEN BY DEATH!!
KEEP WE JUST
BUILT FOR HIM??

TWO HOURS LATER.. I HIT MYSELF IN COME ON GUYS, THIS IS FUN!!! WE CAN
THE HEAD WITH AN SUPPORT GILEAD’S RISE TO KINGSHIP!!
COME ON, B.A.!! I RUBBED BACON AXE AGAIN!!! HOW
WILL YOU GUYS STOP GREASE ALL OVER MYSELF AND MUCH DAMAGE DID
IT?? I’M NOT GOING BETTER DEAD THAN TO
I’M SLAPPIN’ THE HELL OUT OF I DO THIS TIME??
TO ALLOW YOU TO SERVE AN NPC!!!
THE BEAR WITH MY BELT. YOU FIREBALL TO
KILL YOURSELVES!!! CAN’T TELL ME HE DOESN’T RIP
YOU’RE CHARMED AND THE FACE, B.A.!!
ME TO SHREDS!!
THAT’S THAT!!

12
IN YER FACE EVERY MONTH!!!

KENZER &
Knights of the
Dinner Table
COMPANY TM

No. 13
$2.95 USA
$3.50 CAN

MEN THAT HACK

Be Sure to Reserve Your Copy of the Next Issue


at your favorite Game or Comic Shop!!
The Price of Passage by David Kenzer

THE ONLY ENTRANCE TO THE FIFTH LEVEL OF THE DUNGEON IS


GUARDED BY A HUGE, ANCIENT SWAK-IRON A TARIFF? WHO
DRAGON. HIS MUSCLES RIPPLE AS HE STRETCHES HIS THE HELL DOES HE
MIGHTY TALONED-WINGS ACROSS THE HALL. IN A LOUD BOOMING THINK HE IS? DID YOU SAY VERY
VOICE HE STATES, "HALT, PUNY ONES AND PAY ME MY TARIFF LARGE AND ANCIENT?
FOR ADMITTANCE TO LEVEL FIVE!" THE DRAGON SITS ON A
MASSIVE PILE OF GOLD AND GEMS, OBVIOUSLY COLLECTED
YEAH! I READY MY PUNY? MY
FROM OTHER DWARF'S 4 FOOT
TRAVELERS AND HACKMASTER +12.
TWO, TWO INCHES
VICTIMS. TALLER THAN THE
AVERAGE DWARF!

THAT'S RIGHT SARA. HE’S VERY LARGE I DON'T EVEN PAY MY OWN TAXES!! THERE'S MY DWARF IS MORE THAN
AND HE’S VERY ANCIENT!!! AND HE'S NO WAY EL RAVAGER'S GONNA PAY! YOUR RUN-OF-THE-MILL
GROWING IMPATIENT. MOUNTAIN DWARF YA
BUT GUYS, LET'S AT LEAST KNOW?? HE WEIGHS IN AT
I AIN'T PAYING ZIP!! FIND OUT HOW MUCH THE 179 POUNDS!! THAT’S 20
I’M LOADING TWO BOLTS OF TOLL IS. POUNDS MORE THAN
REAVING. THAT'LL ADJUST HIS AVERAGE.
ATTITUDE.

WHO CARES HOW MUCH THE COME ON, GUYS!!! LET’S AT LEAST LOOK AT OUR
TARIFF IS?? IT’S NOT LIKE OPTIONS. BESIDES, WE CAN STALL THIS GUY
DAMN STRAIGHT!!!
WE’RE GONNA PAY IT!!! WHILE WE TRY TO HAGGLE DOWN HIS PRICE!!!
I GOT HIS TARIFF RIGHT HERE - ON
THE END OF MY SWORD!!!
GOOD IDEA, SARA!!! I’M PARTY
SPOKESMAN. I’LL HANDLE THIS.

14
O.K., B.A., MY DWARVEN MAGE APPROACHES THE DRAGON. AS THE MASSIVE DRAGON SPEAKS, FIRE LICKS FORTH FROM HIS
I SHOULD CUT A PRETTY IMPRESSIVE IMAGE. I’M WEARING NOSTRILS HEATING THE WHOLE AREA. "2000 GOLD COINS....EACH!
MY EXPENSIVE COBBLED-BOOTS AND MY BEARD IS EXCEPT FOR THE BELLIGERENT DWARF!!! HE SHALL
BRAIDED IN THE FASHION OF MY CLAN - THE IRONHEARTS - PAY 3,000 GOLD"
WHO ARE WELL REGARDED AND WIDELY KNOWN.
I SPEAK FIRMLY AND LOUDLY, “WHAT BE YOUR
TARIFF MY INFINITE
SMALLNESS??”

2,000!!! OUTRAGEOUS! I’LL JUST INVEST I HOLD MY HACKMASTER +12 HIGH WAIT, STOP!!! THINK
THE MONEY ON MULES TO CARRY BACK THAT HOARD OVER MY HEAD AND CALL UPON ABOUT IT. 2,000 ISN'T THAT MUCH
AFTER WE SLAY THIS DRAGON!! THE GODS TO BLESS ME!! THAT COMPARED TO ALL THE WEALTH
DRAGON IS GOING WE'LL GET ON LEVEL FIVE!
DOWN!!!
THE DRAGON FLAPS HIS WINGS
FURIOUSLY AND DEMANDS YOU IT'S THE PRINCIPAL SARA.
PAY THE TOLL IMMEDIATELY!!! IT'S A MATTER OF HONOR.

YEAH MISSY, IT'S A MATTER OF HONOR. ARE


YOU ASKING KNUCKLES TO STAND BY AND WHAT HELL ARE WE BUT HE'S HUGE AND ANCIENT.
WATCH HIS PARTY GET EXTORTED BY SOME THINKING?? THIS HE'LL PROBABLY KILL HALF OF
DUMB DRAGON? HUH? DRAGON HAS AN INCREDIBLE US, IF NOT ALL OF US.
TREASURE HORDE!!! LET’S KICK
YOU GUYS BETTER HIS ASS AND TAKE IT!!! HMMMMM...THERE IS A LOT
MAKE A DECISION FAST OF TREASURE HERE...
- THE DRAGON IS
GREATLY ANNOYED!!!

15
HEY B.A., APPROXIMATELY HOW MUCH TREASURE IS IN THIS
DRAGON’S HORDE? I USE MY COIN-PILE YOU ROUGHLY ESTIMATE 1,103,342 GP VALUE IN
NUMERICAL APPROXIMATION ASSORTED COINS PLUS ANOTHER 822,789 GP VALUE IN
SECONDARY SKILL. DON’T FORGET MY +15 BONUS GEMS AND JEWELRY.
BECAUSE I’M A DWARF. I ALSO HAVE ASTUTE
OBSERVATION AND GEM APPRAISAL REALLY? THAT MUCH?? HMMM.....OKAY,
SKILLS!!! I PAY THE DRAGON THE 2,000 GP TARIFF PLUS
THE 1,000 GP BELLIGERENCY PENALTY.

ARE YOU JUST


HUH?? GOING TO LET THE
DRAGON EXTORT
YOU LIKE THAT?
THANKS BRIAN!!!
I PAY TOO!!

LISTEN GUYS, THIS IS GREAT. BY MY CALCULATIONS, LESS LIVING AND MISCELLANEOUS EXPENSES AND
ADJUSTING FOR INFLATION, THAT DRAGON HAS RECEIVED A MINIMUM OF 1,892 TARIFFS!!!

16
UH.....SO WHAT’S YOUR
POINT??

DUH!!! IF THE DRAGON HAS BEEN GUARDING THE ENTRANCE NO, YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL!!!!
FOR THAT LONG AND EXTORTS THAT MANY PEOPLE, THE ODDS AWESOME!!! NOT TO RAIN ON YOUR
OF HIM BEING SLAIN ARE ALMOST NIL. WE SIMPLY DEPOSIT
PARADE, BUT UH....WHAT
2000 GOLD HERE EVERY TIME WE PASS! IT’S LIKE OUR OWN
MAKES YOU THINK WE CAN
PERSONAL, DRAGON DEPOSITORY. WHEN WE
SLAY THIS GUY LATER??
WANT TO MAKE A FINAL WITHDRAWAL
WE JUST SLAY THE DRAGON!
YOU THE MAN!!! RELAX SARA!!!
I KNOW WHAT
IS THAT I’M DOING!!
BEAUTIFUL OR
WHAT??

GOOD THINKING, BOB!!! I PAY MY I’LL EMPTY ALL OF THE


I PAY THE DRAGON HIS TARIFF!! HELL, SINCE THIS JUST A MAHOGANY FURNITURE FROM MY
TARIFF AND DEPOSIT ALL
DEPOSIT, I MIGHT AS WELL UNLOAD SOME OF THIS OTHER PORTABLE HOLE EXCEPT FOR THE
MY LOOSE CHANGE AND
STUFF FOR SAFE KEEPING. I ALSO LEAVE MY POUCH OF ARMOIRE. THAT OUTTA CLEAR
HALF MY GEMS.
HOLDING WITH 8,063 PLATINUM, MY SPARE SET OF SOME SPACE. I’LL ALSO DUMP
ELFIN CHAINMAIL OF ASTRAL PROJECTION AND THE I’M HOLDING MY THE 187,962 COPPER I’VE BEEN
MUDDY BOOTS FROM THAT ORGE ON LEVEL TWO. MONEY, THANKS!! CARRYING AROUND.

17
KNOBBY CAN PAY HIS OWN WAY!!! JUST TELL HIM TO
TAKE IT OUT OF THAT 5,000 IN GEMS SETTLEMENT THE
CONSTABLE OF FERN GROVE AWARDED HIM IN OUR
O.K. WISE GUYS, THE DRAGON REFUSES TO LET YOU LAWSUIT SETTLEMENT!!!
PASS BECAUSE KNOBBY FOOT HASN’T PAID.
HEY, I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!!! THE
LITTLE BASTARD IS RICH!!! PAIN AND
SUFFERING?? PUBLIC HUMILIATION??? LET ME
IN ON SOME OF THAT ACTION. SHEESH!!

KNOBBY FOOT SHRUGS AND OH YOU’RE BREAKIN’ MY HEART!!! I’LL SAVE THE LITTLE RUNT.
I STEP IN FRONT OF THE DRAGON AND GIVE HIM 2,000 FOR OL’ WHAT A
SHAKES HIS HEAD. “BUT I DON’T
KNOBBY. THAT WAY I WON’T HAVE TO CARRY IT. GUY!!
HAVE 2,000 IN GOLD ON ME!!!” THE
DRAGON LAUGHS HIDEOUSLY DON’T FORGET THAT ON YOUR NEXT LOYALTY ROLL, B.A.
AND REACHES FOR THE TINY ALRIGHT!!! LET’S HIT
TORCH BEARER!!! BETTER GET A NOTARIZED I.O.U.
FOR THAT BOB!! THAT LOWER LEVEL!!!

A FEW HOURS LATER.... I USE MY FINAL SUTURE ARTERY


SCROLL TO HELP MEND EL RAVAGER’S
O.K. YOU’VE CLEANED OUT LEVEL SEVEN. YOU HAVE JUST ONE LEVEL LEFT. DAVE, WOUND. THAT SHOULD STOP THE
EL RAVAGER IS STILL BLEEDING PROFUSELY FROM THAT CRITICAL HIT TO HIS SPLEEN. INTERNAL HEMORRHAGING.

LET’S GET OUT OF HERE AND THAT DOUBLE-HASTED STONE YEAH, LET’S DEPOSIT OUR GOLD
GET OUR COMRADE HEALED. GIANT GOT LUCKY THAT’S ALL!!! AND TREASURE WITH OUR PET
WE’LL COME BACK FOR THE I’LL TAKE HIM OUT NEXT TIME!! DRAGON AND GET BACK TO TOWN!!!
REST OF THE LOOT LATER.

18
A FEW MOMENTS LATER.... “THE TARIFF IS 2,000 GOLD EACH!!! TO PASS
ME - YOU MUST PAY!!! I CARE NOT WHICH
OKAY AFTER YOU DEPOSIT YOUR DIRECTION YOU ARE TRAVELLING!!”
GOLD AND TREASURE WITH THE DRAGON
AND ATTEMPT TO MOVE PASS HIM, HE YOU GOT A BAD CASE OF SHORT-TERM WELL THIS TOTALLY SUCKS!!!
SUDDENLY ROARS, “YOU MUST MEMORY LOSS SCALE-FACE??? YOU’D THINK HE WOULD OF
PAY THE TARIFF!!! 2,000 HUH??? WE ALREADY PAID YOUR MENTIONED THAT BEFORE!!
GOLD PIECES EACH!! STINKIN’ TARIFF!!! BESIDES, WE’RE
EXITING NOT ENTERING!!! WHO CARES!!!! IN THE END
WE’LL GET IT ALL BACK
ANYWAY!!

THE DRAGON LAUGHS!!!! “YOUR


THE DRAGON YAWNS AND ACCOUNT??? THERE ARE NO
IMPATIENTLY TAPS HIS CLAWS ON YEAH, YEAH, LIGHTEN UP FIDO!!! I’M PAYING THE ACCOUNTS!!! ALL THAT YOU SEE
THE FLOOR. “YOU WILL JUST REACH BEHIND YOU AND TAKE DRAGON AND HERE BELONGS TO ME!!!
PAY NOW OR RETURN IT FROM MY ACCOUNT!!!!! I HAVE HEADING FOR THE
TO THE FIFTH LEVEL!!! PLENTY OF GOLD THERE TO COVER SURFACE!!! UH-OH!!! I DIDN’T HOLD
MY TAB A DOZEN TIMES OVER!
BACK ANY POCKET
CHANGE EITHER!!

SLOWLY THE DRAGON PEELS AN EVIL YOU GOT WAX IN YER EARS? I SAID I’M HEY, MAYBE WE COULD JUST LEAVE KNOBBY
GRIN, REVEALING SCORES OF RAZOR SHARP CASH POOR AT THE MOMENT. I’LL FOOT AS COLLATERAL. OR BETTER YET,
TEETH. SPITTLE POURS FROM THE TELL YOU WHAT!! I’LL JUST PAY YOU MAYBE HE’LL ACCEPT HIM AS A SACRIFICE!!
CORNERS OF HIS MAW, “PAY NOW TWICE WHEN I GET BACK. WE JUST
OR DIE!” THE HALL ECHOES WITH WANT TO ZIP INTO TOWN TO..... WE’D BETTER DO SOMETHING!! WE
HIS ROAR, TEMPORARILY DEAFENING YOU. (SIGH) DON’T HAVE THE HIT POINTS OR
STRENGTH TO BATTLE THIS DUDE
RIGHT NOW!!

19
SACRIFICE KNOBBY?? NO WAY!! AFTER ALL LOOK GUYS!! THE IMPORTANT THING RIGHT NOW
THE MONEY I SANK INTO HIM? HIS LOYALTY BONUS IS TO SURVIVE SO WE CAN RETURN ANOTHER
TO ME MUST BE OFF THE CHARTS BY NOW!! DAY!!! OFFER HIM ONE OF YOUR MAGIC ITEMS!!!
BESIDES, I THINK THIS DRAGON DEPOSITORY THING
HAS DRAWN ME AND KNOBBY CLOSER TOGETHER.
GIVE UP SOME GOOD THINKING!!! I HAVE A
MAGIC?? POTION OF
I SURE DON’T LIKE THE DWARF CONTROL.
THOUGHT OF THAT!! WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF
MEETING A FEMALE DWARF
WHO CARES?? WE’RE GONNA ANYWAY??
GET BACK ANYWAY WHEN
WE MAKE A LITTLE
WITHDRAW!! (HEH HEH)

OKAY BRIAN, THE DRAGON ALRIGHT, I GUESS I’LL GIVE HIM THESE STUPID PINK LEGWARMERS OF
ACCEPTS YOUR POTION AS SPEED. THEY WERE GNOME SIZED ANYWAY. THE ONLY ONE WHO’D THEY’D FIT IS KNOBBY
PAYMENT. HE BELLOWS, FOOT AND WHAT’S THE USE OF HAVING A TORCH-BEARER THAT WALKS TOO FAST?
“I WILL ACCEPT ONE I OFFER HIM MY NOSE RING OF LET’S GO GET
GREAT!!! WE’RE
MAGIC ITEM FROM EACH VISCID GLOBS. IT ONLY HAS ONE HEALED UP AND
OUTTA HERE!!
OF YOU AS YOUR TARIFF!! CHARGE LEFT ANYWAY. THEN WE’LL COME
BACK AND KICK SOME
DRAGON ASS!!

SORRY, JACK!!. MAGIC GEE!! I KINDA FEEL BAD LEAVIN’


YOU’RE FORGETTING
IS WHERE THIS THE LITTLE GUY BEHIND. WE’LL MISS THE LITTLE
SOMEONE!!!! WHAT ABOUT
GRAVY TRAIN STOPS. GUY. MAYBE I SHOULD USE
KNOBBY FOOT??
GUESS WE’LL HAVE TO YOU CAN’T JUST LEAVE HIM MY RING OF
HE HAS TO PAY THE
LEAVE KNOBBY BEHIND BEHIND! I START HEADING KEVORKIAN TO
TARIFF TOO!!
AFTER ALL. BACK TO THE DRAGON. LESSEN THE AGONY.

20
KNOBBY FOOT REACHES INTO HIS POUCH, WHA-WHAT THE HELL??? THE LITTLE FREE-LOADIN’
TOSSES THE DRAGON FOUR 500 GP GEMS AND PASSES BY. THIEF!!! WHERE’D HE GET THE GEMS?? HE TOLD US HE WAS
BROKE!!! HE LIED TO ME AND LET ME CARRY HIS ASS!!

HEY KNOBBY, PAY FOR ME TOO, WILL YA?


YA NEVER KNOW WHEN I MIGHT NEED THAT
LAST CHARGE ON MY NOSE RING.

ACTUALLY, HE DIDN’T SAY HE


WAS BROKE. HE SAID HE
DIDN’T HAVE ANY GOLD!!

WHAT A
SNEAK!!!

DUDE, WE’VE BEEN


SCAMMED BY A LOWLY
TORCHBEARER!!
COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE BASTARD! RUN AND AFTER ALL WE
I’M HOPPING MAD. I’LL KILL YOU! I PULL OUT MY KNOBBYFOOT DID FOR HIM!!! LIKE A
CROSSBOW OF SLAYING AND PUMP HIM FULL OF RUN!! KNIFE TO THE BACK!!
BOLTS OF THRASHING. I’M REALLY HURT!!

DAMN!!! WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE, HE’S DEAD. HOLY MOLY!! IT’S
YOU HEAR ME, DEAD! THAT’S IT... ABOUT TO HIT THE FAN AND
TOO LATE BOB!!! KNOBBY FOOT IS
SOMETHING’S GONNA DIE. I FIRE A BOLT OF HIT THE FAN BIG TIME!!!
ALREADY ON LEVEL FOUR AND
REAVING INTO THAT DAMN DRAGON! I RUN DOWN THE STAIRS TO
RACING FOR THE SURFACE!!
THE FIRTH LEVEL BEFORE
WHADDA YA DOIN?? HE BREATHES!!!
I’M WITH
BRIAN!!!

21
YOUR BOLTS HIT THE DRAGON AND IT DISAPPEARS IN A CLOUD OF GREASY BLACK SMOKE
ALONG WITH ALL THE TREASURE. WHEN THE SMOKE CLEARS YOU SEE YOUR OLD NEMESIS,
JONID COINCRAWLER, THE GNOME ILLUSIONIST!! HE IS STANDING THERE WITH A HUGE
GRIN ON HIS FACE, HOLDING BOB’S BULGING BAG OF HOLDING, DAVE’S SUITCASE OF
MASSIVE TRAVEL AND BRIAN’S BELT OF INFINITE SPACE. MY MAHOGANY
FURNITURE AND
TALK ABOUT SCAMS!!! CHERRY-WOOD
THE ENTIRE TIME IT DINING SET¡¡
WAA WHAT THE... HUH??? I THOUGHT WE’D WAS ALL AN ILLUSION? I RUN BACK UP THE STAIRS.
JONID KILLED HIM YEARS AGO!!!
COINCRAWLER???

SNEAKY LITTLE I CUT HIM IN I’M PULLING OUT MEGA ICE


BASTARD! I WASTE TWO, CALLED MY MACE CHUNKS OF
JONID RUNS FOR THE
HIM WITH TWO SHOT TO THE JORAKK ON
STAIRS TO LEVEL 4.
BOLTS OF HEAD. HIS HEAD.
REAVING.

TOO LATE!!! HA HA!!! YOU’RE


GONNA LOVE THIS!!! JONID IS
WEARING BOB’S PINK P - P - PINK LEGWARMERS!!!
LEGWARMERS OF
SPEED!!! HE EASILY ESCAPES SO MUCH FOR THE
TAKING THE TREASURE WITH HIM!!! SO......LIKE ALL OF OUR GREAT
STUFF IS GONE?? DRAGON
HE JUST RIPPED US OFF?? DEPOSITORY

22
OH MAN, I’M IN TEARS HERE!!! THIS IS SO DAMN
FUNNY!!!! I CLEANED YOU GUYS OUT!!! HA HA!!!! HAAA!!! HAAAA!!! I WISH I HAD A
I TOOK....HAR HAR....EVERY RED CENT YOU HAD!!! BUT CAMERA!!! YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE
THE....HEE HEE HOO..THE FUNNY THING IS....HAR LOOKS ON YOUR FACES!!! HA HA!!!
HAR....YOU JUST HANDED IT OVER LIKE A BUNCH OF
IDIOTS!!!! HA HA!!! I CAN’T WAIT TO TELL WEIRD PETE..

YOU GRAB THE DUCT-TAPE, I’M TWO STEPS


DRAGON I’LL GO GET THE ROPE OUT AHEAD OF YOU
DEPOSITORY??? OF MY CHEVETTE. DUDE!!
YOU GUYS CRACK ME UP!!! AND DON’T
IT WAS SO HARD KEEPING A FORGET
STRAIGHT FACE!!! THE CAT!!

THIRTY MINUTES LATER... SORRY, B.A.!!! THEY MADE ME


PINKY-SWEAR I’D WAIT AN HOUR
DAMN IT SARA!!! CUT ME DOWN!!!! BEFORE CUTTING YOU DOWN.
YOU’RE MY COUSIN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! MEANWHILE, YOU REALLY
SHOULDN’T WIGGLE SO MUCH, IT
ONLY PROVOKES THE CAT!!

AOL members: check out the


K N I G H TS O F T H E
D I N N E R TA B L E F O R U M .
(go keyword GCS. Click on Message Center,
then Publications and then enter the KODT Folder)

23
The Good, The Bad, and the Unlucky
AS YOU APPROACH THE GATES TO THE CITY OF FANGAERIE, WHAT’S UP WITH THAT???
TWO WELL-GROOMED GUARDS IN FRESHLY PRESSED UNIFORMS WE COME TO FANGAERIE ALL THE TIME!!!
STROLL OVER TO YOU. “OUR APOLOGIES KIND THEY’VE NEVER BANNED WEAPONS BEFORE!!!
TRAVELLERS BUT WEAPONS ARE NOT
ALLOWED IN THE CITY.” YOU MUST LEAVE THEM HERE HA!!! MY WHOLE
HOW ODD!!! SOMETHING
AT THE GATE. THEY WILL BE RETURNED UPON YOUR DEPARTURE. BODY IS A
MUST HAVE HAPPENED.
SAY WHAT?? WEAPON!!!

LORD GILEAD??? I THINK IT’S WONDERFUL!!! HE’S


DIRTY BASTARD!!! HE’S TAKEN TRYING TO RESTORE PEACE
ONE OF THE GUARDS OVER THE WHOLE REGION!!! AND ORDER. OBVIOUSLY
TELLS YOU THAT I TAUGHT HIM WELL.
LORD GILEAD
HAS ORDERED THE BAN HE HAS THE WHOLE CITY UNDER HIS
ON WEAPONS. “RIDE-BY EVIL SPELL!!! I KNEW HE ALWAYS
COVETED MY HACKMASTER +12. A LOUSY, LOWLY
HACKINGS ARE DOWN HENCHMAN AND
96 PERCENT SINCE THE THIS IS HIS PLAN TO GET IT!!
THEY’RE CALLING
LAW WENT INTO HIM LORD??
EFFECT”

WELL THERE’S NO WAY I’M GIVING UP MY WEAPONS WITHOUT A FIGHT!!! AND I HAVE TO GUYS, WHY DON’T WE JUST CHECK
GET IN THE CITY TO RETRIEVE MY SECRET STASH OF GOLD. THAT DAMN OUR WEAPONS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE
JONID COINCRAWLER MADE OFF WITH EVERYTHING I HAD. AND GO ABOUT OUR BUSINESS???
HEY, WE CAN TAKE OUT THESE TWO
PLEASE SIRS AND MA’AM, FOR THE GUARDS - NO PROBLEM!! SORRY SARA, BUT I’M NOT
WELFARE OF ALL WE HUMBLY LETTIN’ THIS GILEAD-DUDE
REQUEST THAT YOU ALLOW US TO PUSH ME AROUND.
CHECK YOUR WEAPONS.

24
I’M PULLING OUT MY CROSSBOW AND OH LORD!! B.A., I GIVE THE GUARDS MY
LOADING UP A COUPLE OF LONGBOW, QUIVER OF ARROWS, AND MY SHORTSWORD
BOLTS-OF- AND HEAD INTO THE CITY. IF YOU GUYS SURVIVE, I’LL
NOW YER TALKIN!!!
DEVESTATION!!!! MEET YOU AT THE LAME SHEPHERD!!
SCHLINNGG!!
PULLING OUT MY HACKMASTER
+12 HERE B.A.!!!
I’M CASTING A
QUIVERING-WEB
OF CHAINED-
FIREBALLS HERE, B.A.!!!

WHOAH, WHOAH, WHOAH, WHOAH!!!


HOLD ON THERE FOR A SECOND. I KNOW I’M GOING TO REGRET
DOING THIS - BUT LET’S REVIEW THE SITUATION AND YOUR
FIRST OF ALL TAKE A LOOK AROUND YOU. TO YOUR LEFT IS THE MAIN
OPTIONS. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!
ENTRANCE TO THE GUARD POST NUMBER 25 WHERE 75
RELIEF GUARDS ARE ON CALL TO RESPOND TO ANY
EMERGENCY. KEEP IN MIND THIS IS JUST ONE OF FIFTY SUCH
GUARD POSTS SITUATED AROUND THE CITY.

NOW TAKE A LOOK AT THE TOWERS ON EITHER SIDE OF THE GATE!!! YOU’LL NOTICE A FIVE-MAN CONTINGENT
MANNING EACH TOWER. IN CASE YOU DIDN’T KNOW IT, EACH TOWER IS ARMED WITH CAULDRONS OF BOILING
OIL, MEDIUM-SIZED BALLISTAE WHICH CAN FIRE TWELVE FOOT IRON SPEARS UP TO 1,000
YARDS WITH DEVASTATING ACCURACY. EACH MAN IS AN EXPERT WITH THE LONGBOW AND TO QUALIFY FOR TOWER
DUTY HAS TO PASS A BI-MONTHLY MARKSMANSHIP EVALUATION. EACH TOWER IS ALSO EQUIPPED WITH AN ALARM-HORN.
A SIMPLE BLAST FROM THE HORN WILL SUMMON 150 TO 300 MEN WITHIN TWO COMBAT ROUNDS!!!

25
OKAY, SO THERE’S YOUR SITUATION. NOW LET’S REVIEW YOUR OPTIONS!!! ONE!! YOU CAN CHECK YOUR WEAPONS WITH THE
GUARDS. IN RETURN YOU WILL GET AN OFFICIAL RECEIPT WITH THE TOWN COUNCIL’S OFFICIAL SEAL GUARANTEEING THE SAFE
RETURN OF YOUR WEAPONS WHEN YOU CHOOSE TO LEAVE THE CITY. TWO!! YOU CAN KEEP YOUR WEAPONS - TURN AROUND - AND
WALK AWAY!!! OH...AND THEN THERE’S THREE!! THE BRILLIANT OPTION YOU’VE ALREADY POINTED OUT - YOU CAN DRAW YOUR
WEAPONS, ATTACK THE GUARDS AND END UP FIGHTING THE ENTIRE CITY - WHICH I’M SURE WOULD BE GREAT FUN BUT WOULD
PROBABLY RESULT IN ALL OF YOUR DEATHS AND MOST LIKELY RUIN YET ANOTHER CAMPAIGN!!!

OKAY, SO WE’VE REVIEWED YOUR SITUATION AND


YOUR OPTIONS. LET’S TAKE A DEEP BREATH,
BACKTRACK A LITTLE BIT AND START OVER. OKAY,
SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO??

I’M PULLING OUT MY CROSSBOW AND I’M CASTING A QUIVERING-WEB


LOADING UP A COUPLE OF OF CHAINED-FIREBALLS
SCHLINNGG!!
BOLTS-OF-
PULLING OUT MY HACKMASTER +12
DEVESTATION!!!! DON’T FEEL BAD, B.A.!!!
YOU DID YOUR BEST!!

SOB!! WHIMPER!!!!
SNORT-SOB!!

26
now that we are monthly, we need your ideas and suggestions for KODT STORies MORE
THAN EVER!! what are you waiting for?? this could be just the thing you’ve been waiting
for - your name in bold letters on cheesy newsprint for all the world to see!!! photo-
copy this page and write your own classic KODT story ideas. Mail your entry* to

KODT IDEA SEARCH


KODT: 1003 MONROE PIKE, MARION INDIANA, 46953

* The Fine Print: All entries become the property of Kenzer and Company. By submitting your story line, you hereby assign all
right title and interest in and to the story to Kenzer and Company. If your idea is used you will receive a free, autographed
copy of the issue in which it appears. By returning this form with your submission, you agree to be bound by these terms.
B.A. is 30 years old and lives with his parents.
When he isn’t gaming he works part-time in his dad’s
dry cleaning shop. B.A. dropped out of college to
Who’s Who In the Group
follow his dream of being a game designer. He sunk
$6,000 into his first gaming product, DOG: the Role-
Playing Game ™ , which was a bomb. B.A. suffered
a nervous breakdown and left gaming for a few years
before picking up his dice bag again. He founded the
B.A. Felton Knights of the Dinner Table in 1976.

Bob is 26 years old and also lives with his parents. He


is currently unemployed even though he’s taken over 8
years of vocational classes at a local tech college. He has
a habit of losing his job because of his temper and sharp
tongue. Bob was the first dues paying member of the
group. Bob is from the old school of role-playing and
believes it’s all about breaking things and killing people.
He made the local papers once when he got lost in the
steam tunnels under the tech college for seven days.
Bob Herzog

Dave is 22 years old and attends Ball State


University where he is studying cultural
anthropology and dance theory. Dave was introduced
to role-playing by Bob whom he met at a local
paintball tournament. Dave is a true blooded hack-n-
slasher who becomes bored easily. He often forgets
to bring his character sheet to the game and tends to
borrow someone else’s dice. Dave originally joined
the group to take advantage of the free munchies.
Dave Bozwell

Brian is 27 years old and lives alone. He manages


to make a modest living operating a local computer
bulletin board and selling painted miniatures. Brian
is typically quiet and utters only three word sentences
unless a rule has been broken or his character has
been maligned. Even though Brian can’t remember
his own phone number, he can recite entire passages
of various rule books from memory. He claims to
have a girlfriend but no one has ever seen her.
Brian VanHoose
Sara is 25 years old and is B.A.’s cousin. She recently moved back
to Muncie, Indiana from Wisconsin and is the newest member of the
group. Unfortunately, Sara is also the only female in the group and
fights a lonely battle to bring more role-play into the group’s gaming
sessions and less hack-n-slash. Sara has decided it is her sworn
obligation to bring the other members of the group around to her
style of play. She attempts to do this by example but occasionally
has to resort to threats and physical bullying to make her point.
Sara Felton
Gary Jackson is fondly known as the “Gawdfather of Gaming” by
millions of gaming enthusiasts around the world. His failing
wargame company, Hard 8 Enterprises, was about to close its doors
for good in 1977 when Gary tossed the dice on a hastily produced
role-playing game, The HackMasters of EverKnight™ . The first
print run was quickly snapped off the shelves and soon frantic
distributors were calling Gary’s three man shop with pleas of
“More!” Gary has been riding Hackmaster spin-offs ever since.
Gary Jackson
Edmund Finely was once Gary Jackson’s paperboy. One morning
he was coerced into filling an empty chair during a play-testing
session of HackMaster and became ensnared in ‘Gary’s Game’.
That was twenty years ago and Edmund has been on the Hard 8
team ever since (though he’s only been on the payroll for the past
four months). Edmund wears the proud title of “Director of
Research and Development” and recently oversaw the production of
his first written work, Abe, Babes and RollerBlades™ , described
as a “sexy, zany, time-travelling romp through history and fashion”.
Edmund Finley
Victor Fergueson became known as the Lord of Steam when he adapted the
HackMaster rules to live-action play and began taking hand picked groups of
players on late night forays into the labyrinth of steam tunnels beneath Ball State
University. After ‘Fergueson’s Folly’ made national headlines (Victor and his
group were lost for 7 days prompting a massive rescue search), the steam tunnels
were secured and dozens of entrances were sealed with concrete. There are
several contradicting accounts of what happened weeks later on the evening of
January 5th, 1987 but it involved a satchel of C-4 high explosive, a miscalculation
of the expected blast radius, and a medical evacuation of the Campus
Administration Building which collapsed during an attempt to breach the steam
tunnels. The incident earned Victor the nickname ‘Nitro’ and 5 years probation.
Nitro Fergueson
“Weird” Pete Ashton is 46 years old and is the sole proprietor of a
local gamestore called the “Games Pit”. Pete is proud of the fact that
he was one of the co-designers of the cult classic role-playing game,
Lynch Mob ™ . Pete loves to relate the story of how he was burned
by his partners and lost “millions”. Pete is always available for
advice but oddly seems to be very bitter about the hobby he loves so
much. He was a major stockholder in Hard 8 Enterprises but sold his
shares mere days before HackMaster was released.
Weird Pete
Life’s a Express Chess
BRIAN’S SMALL PRESS PICKS
Game!! Price: $5.99
PLAY!! Blackbox LLC
P.O. 1475
Princeton, NJ 08542
_____
This is a clever card game based on
Chess rules. One deck is enough for 2
players to play. Each card represents a
chess piece and the back row of cards
BRIAN’S is played face down so that the location
of the king and other major pieces are
PICKS not revealed until they move. Some of
the cards give the standard chess
pieces special powers which adds a
new dimension to the game. Lost
cards can be replaced from your
remaining deck which nicely provides
the concept of reinforcements to the
game. This game gives a fresh look
at an old classic and is very portable.
Brian’s Rating: Worth-A-Try.

Fluxx
The Card Game with Ever-Changing Rules
Price: $7.95 By Andrew Looney
Looney Laboratories P.O. Box 761 College Park, MD 20741
_____
Fluxx is the simplest game I’ve learned to play in a long time.
But this does not diminish the challenge in any way. The basic
rules are: start with 3 cards each then on your turn draw one
card and play one card. Beyond that you can play cards to
change or add to the rules, so that each player’s turn can be
under a different set of rules. No one knows what the winning
goal of the game is until a goal card is played, and these goals can change frequently. Action cards can be
played to help you or to mess with your neighbor - a must for any great game. It’s never the same game twice.
For 2-6 players. Takes less than half an hour (great at cons!).
Brian’s Rating: Well-Worth-It.

Groo the Game


Price: $15.95 (basic set)
$7.95 (expansion set)
Archangel Entertainment
772 W. Main St, Suite 05
Lake Geneva, WI 53147
_____

Groo is a great game. The object of the


game is to use your cards to build a
village consisting of 7 victory points.
You can also raise an army to defend
the village or attack your neighbors. A
player rolls dice each turn to determine
what resources he can use that turn.
Any resources left over can be used by
his opponents. Watch out for Groo through. Your friendly neighborhood barbarian can really mess up
your town while he's there. Therefore, you always want to send him to someone else's town if you can.
The rules are simple and it usually doesn't take very long to play. This is a fun game you'll be pulling out
time and time again for those short, light-hearted gaming sessions.

Brian's Rating: A Must Have


Fred,
ATTENTION GPA MEMBERS!!! This door also appears to be
Place an ad in WEIRD PETE’S BULLETIN BOARD. It’s an locked. A key has been broken
inexpensive way to reach your target audience. off in the lock making it
impossible for you to pick it.
YOU’RE READIN’ THIS AIN’T YA???

WEIRD PETE’S BULLETIN BOARD


Rich
(contact Weird Pete online at weirdpete@aol.com for an ad rate sheet)
Kevin, Ina and Sy,
We uncovered a small cache of KODT #2s [Gluttons for Punishment] in the back of the Thanks for the fun at ShoreCon.
warehouse. These are being sold via credit card only on a first come, first served basis. If you
are interested in purchasing one of these, call or fax (847) 397-2404 or E-mail Brian J.
kenzerco @aol.com with your Visa/Mastercard/Discover number and expiration date. The cost
is $7.95 + $1.00 postage & handling. Once these issues are gone, they’re gone forever!!
Senzar players wanted for
ATTENTION FREELANCERS new campaign. If interested,
Kenzer and Company is looking for a few good writers and artists!! contact Earl Slackmozer.
Get a copy of our writer’s guidelines by sending a SASE to:
KenzerCo, 1935 S. Plum Grove Rd, Suite 194, Palatine, IL 60067 Classic
or you can request them via E-mail by writing to KenzerCo@aol.com
Quotes:
ATTENTION RETAILERS!!!!! In what movie does the following
quote appear? “Remember!
KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE Remember it well for it is the doom
of men that they forget.”
COMIC BOOKS AND RELATED PRODUCTS ARE AVAILABLE answer next month
THROUGH YOUR FAVORITE GAME DISTRIBUTOR!!

HEY KID!!! THIS ISN’T THE MUNCIE


PUBLIC LIBRARY. I THINK YOU’VE BEEN
LOOKIN’ AT THAT BOOK LONG ENOUGH!!!

WEIRD PETE”S
BULLETIN BOARD
is a meeting place
where readers pass
along information,
barter, trade and
gossip. Readers
are invited to place
classified ads,
Hack Kreig announce group meetings,
players seek out other players, etc.
Subscribers of KODT may place classified ads
wanted free of charge with a limit of one ad per issue and a
maximum of twenty-five words. Non-Subscribers may place ads at
the rate of 50¢ per word with a limit of 25 words. Companies may place ads at
the following rates: [5.5 inches x 2 inches - 50 dollars], [2.75 inches x 2 inches -
25 dollars], [1.5 inches x 1 inch - 10 dollars]. Non-profit organizations (serving
the gaming community) and Conventions/Seminars may place ads for free. All
ads are placed on a first-come-first serve basis with subscribers having priority.
“This Man - Tarred and Feathered???” Eulogy of a Gamer™*
By Gary Jackson
There is an empty chair,
At the table this day.
A hallowed place where,
A friend once played.

The roll of his rugged dice,


my ears do long to hear.
Or perhaps I would suffice,
If he should suddenly appear.
PARTING SHOTS

With character sheet in hand,


and a bag of Cheeze-noodles to share.
All his friends would stand,
as he sat in the empty chair.

I hear his voice a-callin’


and it ties my heart in a knot.
RETRACTION: In KODT#10: Let the GM be a Lady He cries, “Though a comrade has fallen,
Tonight, it was reported that Gamin’ Dick had been You must play for those who cannot!”
‘tarred and feathered’ by a mob of angry gamers
during the The Great Card Crash. A few weeks ago * Eulogy of a Gamer was briefly quoted by Brian
the above polaroid arrived at our office along with an in KODT #10:The Temp. Since then, we have
angry note. Apparently Gamin’ Dick was able to fight received several letters asking for the eulogy.
off his attackers and surivived to fight another day. Gary Jackson reportedly wrote this poem when
We apologize for the error. his old friend Garrod Havatya quit role-playing.

Home-Brewed Knights

by Sean A. Foltz
Over the years, a lot of readers have sent us their own ‘home-brewed’ KODT strips or
illustrations. We love seeing the KODT characters through the eyes of other artists. We
thought perhaps the rest of you would enjoy seeing some of these works of art. We’ll try to
run the ‘best of’ the home-brewed KODT illustrations from time to time as space permits.

A LESSER KNOWN
TINKER GNOME GOD

by Celeste Ambrogia
And Now For Something Completely Different.....
A Card Game That’s Fun(ny)

Collectible Card Game


Once again, Monty Python makes the headlines. Monty Python and The Holy
Grail Collectible Card Game (MPHG) is a zany, wacky game designed by Kenzer
and Company. Kenzer & Company was started with the unofficial slogan “Games
made by gamers, for gamers” and MPHG exemplifies that spirit of a truly enjoyable
game. From King Arthur (who has the brain of a duck, you know) to some lovely
filth down here, you steer a group of Knights of the
Round Table through England to
Avalon, in search of the Most Holy
Grrrrrail. Along the way you may
encounter The Knights Who Say Ni, a
rodent with a vicious streak a mile wide,
clever French folk who taunt you a second
time-a; even wicked, bad, naughty, evil Zoot awaits. All the while your
opponent is on a journey of his own through his England and you’re
each playing Questions Three, taunts and Plague Ridden Villages to
impede each other’s progress toward
an unfettered ending that can only be
described as a fair cop. So GET ON WITH IT .
Company founder, MPHG co-designer, trained
stunt man and part-time Chilean coffee grower and
llama rancher, David Kenzer, describes MPHG as “Jolly
good fun.”
“We were faced with a difficult task,” Dave adds,
“design a game that was not only fun to play and chal-
lenging, but funny; and not just funny, but PYTHON
FUNNY.” They have hit the nail on the head with a 40
ton weight. “I laughed so hard my sides hurt,” says Mr.
Spock after playing the game just once. This type of
response seems to have been expected from game designer,
beer brewer, and professional liver donor, Brian Jelke. “We
wanted people to laugh out loud when they played our game.”
But what is this game really all about? What sets this CCG apart from all the rest?
What’s the catch? It’s not the lack of naughty bits and full-frontal nudity. Then what is it?? One reason is the rib-
splitting quotes found on almost every card. “The quotes were so enjoyable, I nailed my opponent’s head to the
floor,” says D. Piranha. “That type of extreme reaction is unusual,” says co-designer, computer geek and mob hit-
man, Steve Johansson. “We knew that people would be affected to differing degrees; but we hoped to keep the body
count (and subsequent FBI investigation) to ‘an acceptable level.’”
But MPHG involves more than just great quotes. There is also play acting, taunts, head tapping, spankings and a
few raspberries. Every gamer knows that nothing is more fun than verbally abusing and mocking your friends during
game play. The beauty of MPHG is that the taunting is built right in. A close second to taunting in gamer enjoy-
ment is embarrassing your friends in public. MPHG encourages this with song cards that require your opponent to
stand and sing such classics as the Brave Sir Robin Song, or the Knights of the Round Table Song. Singing is volun-
tary, of course, but if your opponent does not sing, a nasty effect listed on the card will occur. Besides songs, other
cards require head-tapping, raspberries, hip shaking, sword swallowing, high jumping and sumo wrestling.
Quite a bit of strategy is involved both during the game and before. While playing you have to make key, split
second decisions about whether to use your wits, combat or to stand and shout “Run Away! Run Away!” CPA and
retired rodeo bull rider, Jennifer Kenzer explains, “[T]he game is simple, but the strategy is all rather complex.
Almost every card has both a
primary and a secondary
ability so it’s hard to decide
when to play your cards
because you have so many
options.”

60 card Starter Decks $10.95


15 card Booster Packs $3.45
Monty Python and the Holy Grail CCG is produced by Kenzer and Company, the exclusive holder of the worldwide card game license from Python (Monty) Pictures,
Ltd. Card content and design © Copyright 1997 Kenzer and Company. All Rights Reserved. Movie stills © NFTC Ltd.
TURBOCHARGE
YOUR CAMPAIGN
Exciting Supplements for The Kingdoms of Kalamar
Like all Kenzer and Company products, these products have been designed with
the Gamemaster in mind. Both feature ImageQuest - a pullout picturebook of real-
istic artwork keyed to the text. Each story contains fully developed historical back-
grounds and perspectives of all the major protagonists. All descriptions have boxed
text for speedy play and a wealth of aids for GM and players alike are included.
These supplements are suitable for use with any role-playing system, including, but
not limited to HackMaster™ and Advanced Dungeons & Dragons®*.

“Gamemastering has never been so easy or so much fun!” - B.A. Felton

Tragedy in the House of Brodeln Secret Temple of Adajy


Duke Aldriv III has been brutally murdered Danger lurks in and around Thygasha, the famous
and his brother, Prince Cardor, has disappeared. City of Dreams...
Prince Cardor’s son, Mordeln. believes he may Religious factions disrupt the peace with mortal com-
be the assassins’ next target. Let your player’s bat in the streets, prospectors have been disappearing,
personalities come alive as they join forces with the Orb of Midnight - an evil artifact - has been stolen,
Mordeln in his desperate race to find his miss- Prince Shyja’s scout troops are missing and an ancient
ing father. Can your players find the Prince burial crypt has suddenly reappeared.
before the assassins do? This 72 page world supplement and free-flowing
This accessory provides entry level characters adventure setting has hooks for mid-level characters of
with a chance for every type of adventure: any motivation from chivalry or knowledge to greed
town, wilderness & dungeon. You will take and evil. You will take your players to Thygasha on
your PCs to the Duchy of Etwerl in southern the eastern side of Renaaria Bay, around the Arajyd
Mendarn, within the village of Yelden, into the Hills, into the foreboding Khydoban desert, through
dungeons of Castle Brodeln, through the Narond two dangerous dungeons, and back again.
Forest and up the Yan Elenon Mountains.
$ 9.95 $ 9.95

*Advanced Dungeons & Dragons is a registered trademark of Wizards of the Coast. Use of this trade-
mark is NOT sanctioned by the holder. Mythos of the Divine and Worldly, Sourcebook of the Sovereign
Lands, HackMaster and the Kingdoms of Kalamar are trademarks of Kenzer and Company.

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