Waterays | Project: ‘Richard Spiegel co-directors _ Margaret Friscia teacher Thomas Perry CUNY. Intern Irene Rivera Kimberly Davis City-As-School — Interns: Stephen E. Phillips Superintendent Alternative High Schools and Programs Shelia Evans-Tranumn Principal Auxiliary Services for High Schools Margaret Bing-Wade Assistant Principal, Curriculum John C. Minogue Acting Director St. George School © 1992 The Waterways Project of Ten Penny Players, Inc. ‘Support for the Waterways Project is provided by participating schools, the New York Stale Council on the Arts, the Office of Alternative High Schools and Programs and Con Edisoncontents Lana Tormey 3 Joy Thorbourne 4-5 Laure Cumella 5-6 R. J. T. Steinert 7 Vijosa Marku 8 Missie 9 Kischa Costanzo 10 Tasheena Elliot 11 Joshua Ramos 11 Ngai Greene 12-5 Diana Pagano 16 Melissa Preston 17-9 Joseph DiGregorio 19-21 Linda Lacertosa 22 Christine Nizzi 23 Morike Traore 24 José Martin "Duba" Morales Moran 25-6 Eddie T. White 27 A.B. 28Lana Tormey imagine walking along the beach hand in hand our feet getting hot from the beach's sand imagine a beautiful moonlit night, while having champagne by candlelight imagine having long talks in a place so serene, about good things and bad things and those in between these things i imagine i bring to your attention, for these words that i speak i feel i must mention all of the things i say up above, you make me feel because we are in love.The Frightful Feeling of Being Neglected Joy Thorbourne The feeling of being neglected is very sad and lonely. When I was a baby (at the age of two months) my mother decided she didn't want me any more; so she sent me away. At the age of four, I recognized the hor- rible feelings of neglect. Even though I did fully under- stand the causes and reasons, the lonely feeling was always sitting in the pit of my stomach. At the age of six, I saw my father whom I had heard a great deal about. I told him I want to see my mamma; but when he took me to see her, she pointed a knife at me and told me I was eating her children's food and if I didn't stop she was going to kill me. I was shaking like a leaf with fright; but most of all I was very sad, because my mama didn't want me. My father brought me back to the place where I used to live. It was terri- ble. I hated that place because there was no love there. I lived through my childhood days wondering what have I done to my mother? Why doesn't she want me? Oh how I wish I could change her mind, and some day she would come and get me; but she never did. Now I am twenty eight years old and still wishing she would 4change; hoping for the day when she will tell me she loves me; but she never does. Anyway, on the twenty sixth of December, 1991, I con- fronted her about the way she treated me; and she just tried to blame it on my father saying he never used to give her any support. In my heart I know that's not the truth. I told her, but she denied it; as she always did. But, oh, how I wish and long for a mother's love. Like A Fire Laurie Cumella Like a fire burning endlessly As if time doesn't exist Knowing no boundaries Knowing no limits Feeling as free as the wind Falling deeper with every breath With every glance I take With every kiss I steal My love for him grows Grows to no endAn Island Laurie Cumella As I walk along the beach, I stare at an island within my eyes reach. . . This island seems to be following me, As I walk on. . . it looks so free. . . Free as the winds and the birds flying high, Free as the flowers and the blue sky, Free as the moon and the stars shining bright, Free as the sun which shines with delight. . . Walking on I heard it say, "Think of me, As free as you may. I'm not as free as you think I am. There's a lot of water surrounding my land...To Be Homeless Robert James Timothy Steinert To be homeless is no gag. You eat your meals from cold tin cans Or brown paper bags. You sleep where you dare, In the rain or on the train. You carry your wares on your back In a pack. When in the street, you try to look neat; So you wash in a sink because You try not to stink. You attempt to find work without an address, But all that you find is a whole lot of stress. When you have no home, you are all alone. To be homeless is not a gag, But, at least, you're not in a body bag.Forgive Me Vijosa Marku We fell in love - We ran away... No one could stop us, or have something to say. Our dreamy future we would play On the beach hand in hand. We'd laugh and hug and dance and sing... To me your love you'd always bring. All of a sudden we drifted apart. . . I walked away. . . 1 broke your heart. Forgive me please, for you will see That this is what was meant to be.Dear Friends Missie I understand how it feels to be incarcerated. When I was incarcerated I always felt very lonely and like I had nothing more to live for. I suddenly realized I hada whole lot to live for: I had my family (who I thought never cared); I had myself (whom I had to find and have a whole lot of time to find); and I have a long future (which I could make the best out of once I decide what is best for me). Now I am out in the real world and the problems are still there. I still have a lot to work out. Being out in the real world is hard. You have a lot of free- doms and a lot of hard decisions. My best advice for you who are incarcerated is to find something worthwhile, enjoy life, find and love yourself, get rid of the guilt, and move on. You'll find out that there are a lot of people and things worth living for. Get rid of your anger and you will find out that you are a good person and you can live in this world without committing crimes. You will feel a lot better about yourself and others. And most of all, you will be loved in a positive way instead of hurting your loved ones; because, believe me, it hurts when you see your loved ones hurting themselves. I have a few of my close family members and friends in jail; and they still are not learning. They keep hurting themselves and getting put away every time they get out; and it is hard for me to love them, because they keep hurting themselves, family, and me. So please take my advice and learn to help yourself... and all will fall in place. 9To Whom It May Concern Kischa Costanzo I am a nineteen year old mother of one. I reside on Staten Island in Stapleton. I don't go out much because I am scared my baby or I will get shot. Yes! That is how bad the streets are. Over the past two years, everyone that I used to go to school with died. They got shot!!! I feel if I did not have a child to slow me down, I would be dead. You see, before my baby was born, I was out on the streets acting big and bad. Until one day, around three o'clock in the morning, my friends and I were sitting on the bench. Someone came from behind the building and started shooting. I could not move, because I was so messed up and drunk. It could have been my life, but instead God scared me. It taught me a lesson. Now, all I do is go to school, work, get the baby, come home and stay home! So please, take the advice from someone who knows and has been through it. Stay off the streets. 10Tasheena Elliott I'm writing you this letter to tell you just because you had a downfall in life do not worry about it no one ever stays down for long be strong, be good, and you will live long I also was down once before but I was strong enough to bring myself back up it isn't easy I already know that Love Joshua Ramos You don't have to touch it to know Love is everywhere that you go You don't have to touch it to feel Love is every second we steal Love is nothing without dreams Love isn't everything it seems Open your eyes and you will see Love for you and me llBe Ngai Greene Be as gentle as the newly fallen snow so that I might let all of my inner feelings show. Do not believe what is not there for illusions are not real and shall soon disappear Do not throw away what you are feeling inside, for if you do, you shall never grow but only as time goes on eternally disappear until nothing remains. Do not run away from my gentle touch the one your body cries out for so much. When you lie down, alone at night, I will be watching you as you sleep to protect you from all that is empty and unholy. Dig deep, my love, for life is too short to hide away due to hurt. Allow me to search your mind to find your true self and then we can become as one and then my job will be done. 12Understand Ngai Greene Understand me for who I am, not for what you see. Understand the power of openness and be able to forgive and not to hate. Understand that you cannot understand something or someone who was not meant to be understood. Understand wisdom and knowledge comes with time. Just as a rose needs time to mature and grow into something beautiful. Understand the power behind time. Understand when someone loves you and don't let past obstacles interfere with your chance to appreciate something that you deserve and need. Understand that I love you and never let any take the fact away that now you've found true love. So, understand. 13——_ what Is It To You Ngai Greene What is it to you, if there are no true reflections to cast its true meaning on individuals? What is it to you if my heart cries a thousand tears of sorrow and pain? What is it to you if there are no more blue skies to look upon? For as long as you remain to see your own vision's of what love and reality should be, then what is it to you? So what is it to you if I say the clouds cry tears of once happy skies? Where there was love, there is abuse and doubtful thoughts of deception where happiness should be. But, what is that to you? 14Ngai Greene I speak but no one listens I feel but no one cares I hurt, but I have no one to hurt with I cry tears of pain, but they are only left to hit the cold barren ground of damnation I fight a monster that appears in many forms. Sometimes he puts plans of darkness in my mind; sees my truest desire somewhat deeper than my ambition or will to move on I cry silently in my heart and to myself for only God in the name of Jehovah truly stands beside me and is closest to my heart. But when I do fall, no one sheds tears of spiritual pain; but my God, Jehovah, in darkness when I am lost, holds me close to His heart and gives me the strength to move on. 15My Essay Diana Pagano The most important thing that happened in my life was when I found out I was having a baby. It was a very happy feeling. Everyone I know was happy for me. The pregnancy was very good. I left school until I had my baby. I had my baby on November 17, 1991. It was a girl. She was seven pounds, fourteen ounces, and twenty inches long. Her name is Lisa Nicole. She is so beauti- ful. Lisa now weighs fourteen pounds and is twenty three inches long. She is getting so big and is trying to crawl. Sometimes she rolls over. Lisa is now two anda half months old. There are many babies in the world but I think she is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. I am trying to get my diploma so I can get a good job and buy her whatever she needs. I want to stay home with her and take very good care of her. I love my baby more than anybody I know. 16Appointment With Death Melissa Preston Dedicated to Kimberly Bergalis (January 19, 1968 - December 8, 1991) AIDS activist who died from the AIDS virus contracted from her dentist My teeth are strong but my body is weak. My heartbeat is slower and an answer I seek. I'm wondering why I feel this way, so I lay down and rest. I picked up the newspaper and tightly hold my chest. My dentist has died of the incurable disease, I feel so faint and tremble to my knees. I know I can't get it through a medical examination, but I will take the blood test to calm my imagination. Oh! Please God, 17don't let it be true. I want to live my life and not let it so soon be through. I've had the test done, and I'm waiting for the result. Oh no! It can't be true. I have the deadly assault. Ihave to fight this disease for myself and for others; but I can't help wonder, should I really bother? I have to take care of myself and speak out with the truth. I will tell America, don't let AIDS take you from your family and your youth. Months are going by so quick. My nightmare is catching up with me; I guess my life is over and wasn't meant to be. My legs are weak and my hands are frail. My weight is decreasing and my skin is pale. I don't have an appetite and I feel so scared. Why is this happening to me? I thought people cared. I've always been good and always done right, 18but as the days are closing in, I'm slowly losing the fight. I feel as though I'm to blame, if I didn't go that day, things would be normal and I would feel this pain. It's time to leave and take my peaceful rest. I hope I've helped others I know I tried my best. Here it comes my last final breath, as I leave you all behind for my appointment with Death. The One Joseph DiGregorio There is a lady sweet and kind Whose never face so pleased my mind; I did but see her passing by, and yet I love her 'til I die. 192 Joseph DiGregorio Tangled was I in a love snare, oppressed with pain, tormented with care. It's long delays that I await, her wily looks my wits did blind. Was never bird tangled in line that broke away in better time, then I rotted laughs did climb and now I wait for more twine! H2o Joseph DiGregorio Rain, snow, hail, oceans, rivers, lakes, ponds, puddles, seas, streams, fog, mist. . . Water one of our many needs; Although we need so bad, We must not waste. I think I care so much, But I waste with no care. I destroy without authority Or consciousness. Who has that authority to misuse nature? 20We know something will help. But how? who? when? Our earth polluted, contaminated; My future, But what do I care? For I will die and leave the wasteland. Do I really care? Do I really know how to care for a non living substance? As I pollute my son's world, I will leave him with the confusion I once found. When I have died and things have changed for better or worse, will problems be solved? Who can answer? Who knows? Does anybody? 21A Good Age Linda Lacertosa Two or three would seem a good age to be. Everything is so new: to feel for the first time how snow is, or how a ray of sunlight can warm my skin; to hold a puppy for the first time and feel his soft warm fur; or see the color of grass and feel how it tick- les my bare feet; and not to know fear; to run, jump, and explore, because someone will always keep me safe; to be the center of my own universe and have no cares at all. Or maybe six or seven: to find a friend to share the fun of singing or soaring through the air on a swing; or gliding down a slide and discovering that sharing these things increases my joy. Then again, perhaps the teenage years would be best: to experience love for the first time, growing towards adulthood, learning about life and feelings, responsibilities and making my own choices; making my own decisions, good or bad and working towards my own goals. But it has taken quite a few years to reach the age I am. I think this is the age I'd like to be. . . because in getting here, I have found that I don't have to let go of any of the ages that I have been; and I'm learning enough to enjoy the rest of the trip. 22Critical Feelings About Streams 5 Christine Nizzi I still can't decipher all the reasons why my feelings were so intense. I'm sure it was a combination of many thoughts, feelings and experiences. I felt extremely impatient with the teacher. I suppose the subject matter made me look at my own life and my own experiences and mistakes. It brought up feelings of shame and stupidity. I was also very impatient with the other students in the class. They were so rude. I didn't want to deal with any of this. These kids make so many mistakes. Things they will not be able to change. They will look back in fifteen or twenty years and see their mis- takes. That look back can be very painful. The letter from the young girl in the rehab to the teenage boy really upset me. I was thinking, "How stupid you are! How dumb you sound! What type of life are you going to have? You look up to a man who visits his son once in a while and who doesn't emotionally or financially support this child or his mother. What's worse, he does not even see the wrong in that. How you see this man as someone to admire, how you consider this a good parent, absolutely blows my mind. Don't you understand? Children need so much! I guess I can't blame you. You are a child yourself. I don't know what I wish for you. I just hope that when you raise your own children, if you don't think the way they speak, the way they dress, the education they have is impor- tant, please, I hope to God you have at least great maternal love for them and treat them with understanding and patience. 23Morike Traore I'm from Guinea, West Africa. I left my country on January 17, 1991 to come to the United States. When I was in my country, I thought that the United States was the place where I must live, but when I came here, I realized that I had made a mistake because it is very hard and very dangerous to live here. There are many crimes and much violence in the city. However, it is a big, nice city and sometimes you have good times. I'm glad to be here because it is a new experi- ence for me. J am learning many things about this country that I never would have known if I had stayed in my country. I think the system of education is the best in the world. Here it is hard to find friends. The people live alone. However, in my country the people are friendly and enthusiastic. 24José Martin "Duba" Morales Méran ARRIBA, MEN. PONTE DE PIE HOMBRE no porque te hayas caido, No te puedes levantar, sigue Caminando, por el camino que te guie, tu propia luz. todos somos distintantos, pero llevamos el mismo rumbo. ponte de pie hombre, y sigue andando, reflexionando, que es lo que haces, recordando lo que hiciste, viendo con buenos ojos hacia adelante, no porque te hayas tropezado quiere decir que rodaras, sigue caminando, aunque en tu camino, no encuentres, ningun manantial para calmar la sed, sera mas duro, pero llegaras al mar, o al rio. ponte de pie hombre, cubre tu cuerpo, sin descuidar el alma para las tormentas que hay en el camino, y resguarda tu corazon, mirando hacia todos, deja que alguien lo invada, sin herirlo, sea tu campaniera o tu amigo, ponte de pie hombre, no te dejes llevar por ilusiones falsas, si tienes la tuya y sientes que es buena, muestrala... sin que se rompa, 25solo sabes que eres tuyella... unomismo... ponte de pie hombre o mujer... porque todos tenemos que vivir, Sin implorar morir, todos tenemos metas, que queremos alcanzar, la vida siempre nos cobra algo... ponte a pensar... ylo unico veras... es el precio. . . del esfuerzo. ponte de pie hombre... y apoya la rodilla, si sientes que no puedes andar... 26The Pocono Air Eddie T. White When I think of water, I dream that I am in the Poconos at the family vacation place. The resort we go to is called Eagle Lake in Gounborough, PA. The lake has lots of beautiful fish, like bass and trout, but I only catch small fish. I am not lucky like the rest of the people who vacation there. I also go swimming in the lake. There they put real beach sand to make it like a real beach; but in the summer the lake gets crowded. The water in the lake is so beautiful. People like to stroll around the lake in the moonlight. I remember when I was small, we would pick up rocks and skip them around through the cloudy lake. I also like the beautiful women who wear next to nothing on the beach. I always get jealous of people who go boating and have fun around the lake, and I always pick the berries and put them on my cereal. Now the lake is half frozen and there's nothing to do until next summer. 27Things Going On In My Life A.B. Work is very important to me, because I need money. Plus I like what I do. There is a fifty fifty chance there is a future in it for me. That's why I need a diploma for a city job. Money is another thing. I have bills. So I need school and a job. But, to top it all off, I have to get personal (and I don't usually do this) -- so off the record. About two years ago, I was dating a girl. We really liked each other. So we made love. She told me she was on the pill. Time passed, and I left her. Then, I heard she had a baby. I still talked to her, and I asked her if it was mine. She told me -- no. Last week she told me it was mine. I asked her if we could take a blood test. She said no. She would not give me any information. To top it all off, she lied about being on the pill. She also lied to her ex-boy friend and parents. They thought it was the boy friend's. I think she's lying, just to get me back for hurting her. That's very mean, because if it's mine I want to see it and help out. 28