I Think I Can… Rule the World

Napoleon’s guide to being a Pig

 Introduction

Oh little piglets, you are about to go on a very fun and exciting trip by reading this book. You

see, little ones, you will learn about how to become a powerful leader, just like Comrade

Napoleon. Napoleon’s teachings should be taken seriously, comrades, because he is the most

important animal on the farm. Without him, you are nothing. Remember, however, when you are

finished enjoying this book, that Napoleon is our leader, and only when he dies will he no longer

be leader. My name is Archie, Archie Costello. You see, I didn’t become the Archie I am today

without learning from the great Napoleon first, he taught me the importance of power, and he

also taught me how to get power and how to keep it, by using this manual, the one that you are

reading right now! Power is fun comrades, as I found out learning from Napoleon and taking his

lessons to my school, Trinity School, that now I control. All thanks to the wonderful Napoleon!

One last thing to keep in mind, little porkers, when you are reading this manual: Napoleon is

always Right!

- Archie Costello

(There will be highlighted vocabulary words

that you young porkers must learn and know

throughout your lives.)

 Chapter One

Fear is Fun

Ah, my Comrades! After that wonderful beginning by my pupil, Archie, I Napoleon, will

teach you how to rule like I do. Remember comrades, I am Leader, not you, and I will continue

to lead until the day my muscles give out and I can no longer lead Manor Farm to success, even

though I already have. Now, my first lesson for you is fear. Ask yourself, have you ever had a

bad dream? We all have had bad dreams, comrades, but this is a different use of fear. The fear

that I am talking about is making the other animals afraid so you can immediately take control

and make them follow you. In the tales about our Revolution, you know that we rose up against

our farmer, Mr. Jones. Whenever the animals would question our decisions, Squealer and I

would always give them the thought that if they didn’t follow us, Jones would come back and

take over the farm. That was the ultimate fear, that Jones would return and take back the farm

and undo everything I have done for you. You see, Comrades, when an animal is afraid of

something, its mind goes blank, and one can instill anything into their brains and they will

believe it. That is how I have stayed in power Comrades, and one day, that is how you will stay

in power as well. Remember this one last thing Comrades, violence and death are a powerful

implement of fear. You see, I myself executed traitors publicly, and those traitors died for

betraying their Leader, me. All the animals in attendance were scared and horrified out of their

minds that day. Therefore there would be a big reduction in traitors, except for Snowball, but he

will be explained later. Here is another example-

 http://

upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/ab/1915_Singapore_Mutiny.jpg

This picture, Comrades, is a picture of an execution of traitorous sailors, and after this

execution, sailors would cease to be traitors in this country. Don’t let this image disturb you,

Comrades! This is Fear at its best, and most Fun!

 Chapter Two

Silly rabbit…Milk is for pigs!

Now little porkers, I will explain to you the importance of your voice. Yes, with your

voice you can move masses of people to your side. A wise fellow animalist, Lance Winslow

once said, “He who controls the information controls the world.” You surely know the traitor

Snowball don’t you? The one who fought against us at The Battle of the Cowshed and who

destroyed our windmill? Or did he? This is the information that

you’ve been given and as a result you believe it. Snowball

wasn’t fighting against us, and he wouldn’t have the manpower

to destroy our windmill! But with the right words, we turned

Snowball from someone who was simply in my way to someone

who was a traitorous, vindictive…well pig! And think of

Squealer, who can turn black

http://www.ifc.com/makemediamatter/blog/2009/05/the-power-of-words.php

to white with a few words. When he changed the commandment of sleeping in a bed to sleeping

in a bed with sheets, he easily defended himself and manipulated the animals into thinking that

that was how the commandment was the whole time. He claimed that a bed was necessary for a

pig’s mind because “statistics” showed a pig’s mind worked better if he slept in a bed. He further

said that they had removed the sheets from the bed and were using blankets instead. With this, he

was able to improve the quality of pig’s lives using the power of his voice. So remember young
pigs, you yourself can turn a dog into a horse, a goat into a donkey, black to white, whatever you

want if only you use your voice in the right way.

Chapter Three

Don’t Worry, be Happy

Now, my comrades, I will teach you how to distract the farm animals, and basically anyone

you are speaking to, so you can take control of the situation. Throughout my glorious rise to

power, I had hardships, just like any other dictator. Some of them were even my friends.

However, Comrades, I overcame those hardships faster than the rest because I learned the

learned the “tricks of the trade” the fastest, simply because I am the genius Napoleon. I took

advantage of the sheep, the dumbest animals on the farm, whom would do anything I say

because they are easily manipulated. “Four legs good, two legs bad!” was the slogan of the old

days. Whenever any animal would speak out against, or start to come up with anti-Me ideas, the

sheep would chant “Four legs good, two legs bad!” long enough for that animal to lose his train

of thought and for Squealer or I to immediately move in and reassure them that everything was

ok. Don’t question anything, don’t judge anything, just sit back and let the pigs handle

everything. That is the general message you must give them. Now, distractions can only be

pulled off correctly if you follow these three Golden Rules: Location, Power, and Duration. Your

distractions, my young ones, must occur in a location in which the most effect will be achieved;

the power of the distraction must be enough to disrupt the animal, who is questioning your rule

(or whatever the case may be,) and the duration must be long enough to sustain the effect on the

animal, or animals in question. Distractions will enforce the “Don’t Worry, Be Happy,” policy
that I will enforce on the farm. Distract animals from the truth, hide them from reality, and you

will be as a successful Dictator as I.

This is a military parade in Germany, conducted by my friend, Adolf Hitler. These parades

served as a distraction for the people so they would be swayed into thinking that Hitler was

making Germany stronger during World War Two, even though Germany was growing weaker

every day. Hitler stayed in power longer because no one knew the truth. To wrap things up

Comrades, always remember, Fear, Propaganda, and Distraction are the three most important

things to keep in mind when YOU are ruler, because you will stay in power much longer if you

do.
 Chapter Four

The Enemy of My Enemy is My Friend

Every expert was once an amateur and I was no exception. Of course, I learned quicker than

my competition and overtook them but…that’s for my upcoming book Disposing of Your

Competition. Anyway, I have studied the tactics and habits of many dictators, and have found

three that “separate themselves from the pack,” so to speak. Of these, the one who taught me the

most about the use of terror to smash opposition was Maximilien Robespierre. This man

described terror as, “Swift, inflexible and prompt justice.” He executed 40,000 people during his

infamous Reign of Terror. Now do you see the connection to my execution of the traitorous

animals aligned with Snowball? You know by now how effective fear is, and now you know

where this idea came from (Kreis). The next man who I learned a great deal from was Hideki

Tojo. His treatment of POW’s taught me how to crush morale and silence critics of my rule. For

example, look at how I forced the hens to concede after they attempted to defy me. Like Tojo, I

refused them food and isolated them from others. Soon enough, they relented and agreed to my

terms. With my nine hounds, I was also able to suppress any dissent that was apparent in the

animals. Eventually, they lost morale and hope and would not dare to stand up to me (“Hideki

Tojo”). My last dictator, one who even I shiver at sometimes is Pol Pot. He had over 1.5 million

people killed who he deemed “not useful.” He also forced everyone to work regardless of age.

Do you see how this relates to my policies young porker? Once Boxer had outlived his

usefulness I had him slaughtered for money. Think of this quote by an anonymous band teacher,

“There is no happiness without sacrifice.” His only use after his injury was to benefit the farm by
sacrificing his body. In the end, he provided me with money and made me happier. Also, I got

rid of the silly concept of retirement. All animals should be glad to put in their effort to make

Manor Farm successful (“Pol Pot Biography”). Lastly, I would like to recognize a colleague who

aided my writing of this novel. She is known by the pseudonym of “Dictator of Room 45.” The

attached glossary and several references here were thanks to her. She wishes to remain

anonymous, but I must credit her for helping your great Leader Napoleon to write this book.
 Glossary

Instill- To put slowly in the mind of feelings.

Implement- To put into effect of procedure.

Horrified- Showing great shock or terror.

Vindictive- One who wants or is looking for revenge.

Manipulated- To manage or influence skillfully to ones benefit.

Glorious- Famous, well known, or renowned.

Hardships- A condition or thing that is hard to endure or deal with.

Duration- Length of time something exists.

Tactics- Science of using strategy and maneuvering to gain an advantage or the upper hand.

Traitorous- Someone who is disloyal or faithless.

Morale- Emotional or mental condition of happiness and determination.

Concede- To surrender or give up. Synonym- Capitulate.

Pseudonym- A fake name someone uses to hide their true name or identity.
 Works Cited

“Dictionary.com.” Ask.com. 18 November 2010 < http://dictionary.reference.com>.

“Hideki Tojo”. 2000. History Learning Site. 17 Nov. 2010

<http://www.historylearningsite.co.uk/hideki_tojo.htm>

Kreis, Steven. "Maximilien Robespierre, 1758-1794." The History Guide -- Main. Web. 17 Nov.

2010. <http://www.historyguide.org/intellect/robespierre.html>.

“Pol Pot Biography”. 2002. Essortment. 17 Nov. 2010

<http://www.essortment.com/all/polpotbiograp_rxdy.htm>