The Power of Forgiveness

By Donald Michael Kraig

My story begins when I was a young child growing up in Los Angeles. My father
died in his late 30s. I watched him writhe in pain from a serious heart attack. In those
days there were no paramedics. He finally allowed my mother to call the doctor. Doctors
actually made house calls back them. The doctor arrived, used a stethoscope to listen to
my father’s heart, and tore into his bag to give injections to my pain-wracked father. My
father rose in pain from the bed, and fell back, totally limp. The doctor covered him with
the bed sheets and my mother burst into tears. I saw it all. I was six.
Psychologists always say that kids see themselves as immortal. That’s why they
don’t think taking chances is really taking any chances. They can’t be hurt badly. Death
only happens to old people.
My body was the first thing that reacted to watching the death of my father. A
weak later I had my first allergy attack. It was so bad I had to be rushed to a hospital and
receive an injection of adrenalin. Having allergies, while having environmental triggers,
are often caused by subconscious motivations. I didn’t know this until much later in my
life and I had long since “outgrown” my allergies.
But the event affected my mind, too. I had the knowledge that I would die young.
As a child, I thought it would be a miracle if I lived to the year 2000. I thought about it
often. I would be very happy if I could just live to see the year 2000. My thoughts on this
turned out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. I lived to the new millennium but on January
26, Super Bowl Sunday, 2000, just twenty-six days after the date I wished to live to, I
died.
For a few days I had been very tired. I could barely move. I was constantly
thirsty. By the 26th I could barely move and couldn’t stay awake. My mind wasn’t getting
the right blood flow and I started thinking, “I’d better wait to call the paramedics until
after the Super Bowl or they’d be made at me.” I came to the realization that I couldn’t
last. Before I fell into a coma, I was able to call 911. The last think I remember was
paramedics grabbing my upper arms. The rest was blackness.
My organs began to shut down. My heart was beating so quickly that it wasn’t
pumping any blood. My body had decided that I was dead. The paramedics brought me
back to life. They transported me to one hospital where I was stabilized. I was transferred
to another hospital. I only remember little glimmers for the first several days. I don’t
remember being transported at all. I eventually came back in the second hospital.
When I tell spiritually-minded people about this one of their first questions is,
“Did you see the tunnel with the light? How about deceased family members?” That’s
understandable because books and movies focus on that experience. My experience was
nothing like that. In fact, at times it was rather scary. I told this to Carl Weschcke, the
president of Llewellyn. He was kind enough to send me a copy of Blessing in Disguise by
Dr. Barbara R. Rommer.
That book revealed that of the people who died and were brought back to life, no
more than fifteen percent of people have a Near-Death Experience (NDE). Of those
people almost twenty percent have a less than positive experience. Mine, I think, was a
bit of both. But that’s not what I wanted to share here.

....

I’ve spent the past several years thinking and journaling about the experience. It
caused me to re-examine my life and my goals. But I kept asking myself, “What did the
symbolism I experienced when I was unconscious mean?” I still wonder about it even
though I did receive a clue. And that clue is the real story I wanted to share.
One of the things I decided to do was make an in-depth study of hypnosis. I had
worked with hypnosis for over two decades, but I decided to make a more focused study
of the subject. I’m currently studying for a doctorate in clinical hypnotherapy. As a result,
I ended up at the 2002 American Board of Hypnotherapy Convention in Southern
California. I took a two-day seminar led by Dick Sutphen on how to teach past life
regression (PLR).
There are two major aspects to PLR, and both are valid whether or not you
believe the experiences are objectively real. The first is simply the experience of a past
life. The second is the use of a PLR for healing.
As part of the workshop, we all experienced PLR several times. During one of
those regressions we were told to consider a major problem in our lives and to will
ourselves to go back to a life where we will find the answer to the problem. So for my
question I decided on seeking the meaning of my Near-Death Experience.
Following Sutphen’s directions, I allowed myself to relax, and then go into a
hypnotic trance. Listening to his voice, I went “deeper and deeper; deeper and deeper.”
Then I went to a past life looking for my answer.
To my surprise there was no past life. There was only darkness. I became acutely
aware that I was in this life, although it was several years ago. I saw a golden glow in
front of me. If felt warm and loving. Somehow, I sensed—I knew—it was my mother
(who had died years earlier). I heard her voice say just three words before the glow faded.
I looked around, but saw nothing else while in the hypnotic state. I wanted more, but
there was no more. Soon, Sutphen instructed us to come back to ordinary consciousness.
I was back, I immediately felt a longing to return to see that golden glow. I tried to make
it appear in ordinary consciousness, but it would not.

....

The three words I received from my mother were “Live in forgiveness.” As I

think about it now, I am somewhat surprised that she chose to share that. At times she
had been very unforgiving to those she felt had wronged her or wronged those whom she
loved. She was usually very kind and generous, but could become a lioness protecting her
young if need be. Perhaps this message was something she had experienced in the
afterlife and wanted to share with me. I don’t know.
But I do know that this message fully explains the lesson I needed to learn from
my NDE. I have come to understand that “Live in forgiveness” actually has numerous
meanings:

Forgive those who wrong you.

Forgive yourself for being angry with those who wrong you.
Forgive yourself for any wrong you may have done to others.
Forgive yourself for being angry with yourself for doing things you know you
shouldn’t have done
Forgive yourself for doing things you shouldn’t do.

This doesn’t mean that you should forget wrongs others have done. That would be
foolish. It simply means you forgive them for it. Likewise, forgiving yourself for doing
things you shouldn’t do doesn’t mean you shouldn’t learn from it and not do it again.
Forgiving those who have wronged you also doesn’t mean telling them you
forgive them. If this is so, you may be wondering how such forgiveness can be of any
value? What I’ve learned is that forgiveness doesn’t really help those you forgive, it helps
you. It takes away your anger. It takes away your guilt for having feelings you don’t think
you should have. It actually makes you feel better, happier, lighter. It lets you do
everything you want to do with a more spiritual attitude. Let me give you just one
practical example.
A few months before my NDE I attended a Pagan festival to give some lectures. It
was unbearably hot and humid. I sweated horribly. I hated it. I was angry. I was unhappy.
I know I was not very pleasant company for the woman who came with me to the
festival. I was, quite literally, not a happy camper.
Just a few months before this writing this I attended another Pagan festival. It was
also very hot, humid, and uncomfortable. At first, I hated it. And then I remembered,
“Live in forgiveness.” There was nothing I could do about it. Complaining was
meaningless. So I forgave myself for disliking the weather. I forgave myself for sweating
so much. I ended up laughing about the situation. People asked me how I was doing and
my answer was always the same. With a big smile I said, “Excellent!”
I was happy to be there. I was feeling wonderful. I had a great time, met great
people, gave some great lectures. It was a lot of fun. And I achieved this because I
forgave myself. I don’t claim I’m perfect at this at all. I still have work to do. But I am
doing my best to “Live in forgiveness.”