The Rules of Bunnies

I'll fix this mess soon! -Dr Tiki

In order to play this entertaining and skilful game of logic and speed you will need the following: * A
pint of ale per player. * A minimum of four players. No more than 14 players is recommended. * A
table or other space around which there is room for you all to sit, facing each other in a circle. Mr
Chairman (see below for Mr Chairman selection process) shall bring the 'Circle' of seated players to
attention by having them stand and repeat. “I, do solemnly swear, to uphold the honor, decorum and
glory of the Royal League of Bunnies, forever and ever, etcetera etcetera and so forth, God Save the
Queen.” Following which all players shall clink glasses. To start a round of Bunnies, A game of
SIMON SAYS ensues, during which at anytime Mr Chairman shall place his thumbs on his temples
and wave his hands like bunny rabbit ears whilst declaring “Bunny is ‘go!’” Mr Chairman now 'has the
bunny'. The rest of the players shall drop their hands to their sides unless they are immediately
neighbouring the bunny. Bunny Friends If the chairman fails to declare “Bunny is ‘go’!” this is merely
a dummy start and anyone dropping their hands to their sides shall suffer penalty. Cabinet Minister A
Cabinet Minister is a player with a designated Folio. Mr Chairman may elect another player to start a
round. Object of the Game The object of the game is to fool other players into penalties with the
speed, complexity and cunning of the various different bunny passes. When the bunny is passed, the
player having the bunny transfers possession of the bunny to another player, who must recognize
that he is the recipient of the bunny and then take possession of the bunny by putting his thumbs to
his temples and waggling his 'bunny ears'. Of course, the players on either side of the new possessor
of the bunny must 'mirror' the bunny. The player who has 'passed the bunny' must fully remove his
thumb(s) from his temples for the pass to be legitimate. The players who were mirroring the bunny of
a player who has passed it must also remove their thumb from their temple and cease to mirror.
Failure to adhere to these rules or any other will result in the player getting 'fined' at the end of the
round. These fines are measured in ‘fingers’ worth of ale. Two finger is a standard penalty. There are
very many ways to pass the bunny to another player. The most simple and common of which are
listed below. There are many local variations in these 'passes' which also evolve over time and by
region. Each different pass can only be used once it has been 'introduced' and 'demonstrated' by Mr
Chairman, before the start of a round of bunnies. To demonstrate a new pass, Mr Chairman will call
the hover, then take a virtual bunny and demonstrate the pass with the assistance of appropriate
mirroring. Passes must be performed in the exact manner in which they are demonstrated, without
any hint of ambiguity or confusion. Passes introduced before previous rounds of bunnies are still valid
and do not need to be repeatedly introduced and demonstrated before each round. People who are
not present during the introduction of a new pass (perhaps having issued a 'trunk call' in order to buy
another beverage, see below) must not be informed that the new pass is in effect (a good way to
stitch up freshers). The passes were named according to their university or person of origin. Dummy
Passes There exist several dummy passes which can be used to trick another player into picking up
the bunny when it had not in fact been 'passed' or 'thrown' to that player, or has actually been passed
to a different player, other than the one the dummy is directed at. Picking up the bunny from a
dummy pass is, of course, very stupid indeed and can easily be avoided by paying attention.
Consequently, freshers often fall foul of dummies. Dummies are never intentionally demonstrated
before a round of bunnies by Mr Chairman, but can be explained by him to players who have fallen
foul of them, between rounds. The Nod dummy - The player with the bunny feigns a simple pass by
pointing with his index fingers nodding in the direction of the player to be dummied. His thumbs never
leave his temples, so the bunny is never released. The Stare dummy - The passing player stares at
another player other than the one he is passing to. He uses his good looks and engaging personality
to fool the player being stared at that he is the one being passed to. The Loughbrough dummy - The
hand that drops the bunny is used to point at the player to be dummied. Of course the real Leeds
pass is to the player next to the passing player. For example a player issues a Leeds to his left, by
dropping his right hand, but points with that right hand across the circle at another player. The Robbie
Watson dummy - The ear is cupped by the closed hand instead of having the thumb of the passing
hand on the temple, and the pass in fact goes to the player that is being pointed at with the other
hand. A kind of double bluff (advanced play only, the only dummy that has to be 'introduced'). Passes
New bunnies passes (and other accessory rules) should be introduced into the game, over
progressive rounds, to increase the difficulty level, in the following order. As the list goes on, the
order becomes less critical. Passing the bunny may also be referred to as 'Throwing the Bunny'.
Simple Pass - Both thumbs are released from the temple and the arms are stretched out horizontally
with the hands together, and the index fingers pointing clearly at another player, who must then pick
up the bunny. One man pass, or Leeds pass - The player with the bunny removes one of his thumbs
from his temple, and the bunny is passed to the player next to him on the same side that the
remaining bunny ear of the passing player is still waggling. So if the left hand is dropped, the bunny is
passed one man to the right and vice versa. Two man pass, or Bradford pass - The player with the
bunny removes both thumbs form his temples, and then places one thumb on his nose with the palm
of the hand facing in one direction or the other around the circle. The direction that the palm faces in
determines the direction the pass goes in. So if the left hand is being used, the bunny is passed to
the player next but one on the right of the passing player. So the bunny is passed two players to the
right. The reverse is also true for the right hand. The Loughbrough dummy (see above) may also be
used during a Bradford pass. Three man pass, or Exeter pass - The player with the bunny removes
one thumb from one of his temples and puts it on his nose, with the palm facing in the direction of the
pass. The bunny is thus passed to the player three players along the circle in the direction of the
palm. Four man pass, or MUTECH pass - The player passing the bunny removes both thumbs from
his temples and lays one hand, palm down, on the top of his head, and puts the thumb of the other
hand on his nose with the palm of that hand facing in the direction of the pass. The bunny is thus
passed four players around the circle in the direction of the palm. A common mistakeis putting one
hand on the top of his head and leaving the other one with the thumb on the temple. This is a very
stupid mistake indeed and must be heavily fined. Apart from anything else it looks silly. Bunnies can
be played with a minimum of four players (or three real and one virtual player, see 'Pete Best'). Thus,
the four man pass can by used to pass to oneself in this case, with hilarious but sometimes boring
results. Brammall Bounce - The passing player stands up and essentially 'throws' a simple pass up to
the ceiling. The pass bounces off the ceiling, and is picked up by the first player to stand up and
receive it with outstretched arms. The bunny is then taken up by the happy recipient and play
continues. Olympic bunnies - Once the game gets going and the players are becoming complacent or
casual with their passes, Mr Chairman will introduce 'Olympic Bunnies', where the bunny can not be
retained by a player for more than three seconds (at the discretion of the committee). Players stalling
their passes, not giving quick decisive passes, languishing in possession of the bunny intentionally or
otherwise just not getting on with it will be fined. This rule is vital to the essence of bunnies, affording
the game play a requirement for quick thinking, high levels of concentration, and deft elegant
passing. Experienced players will often start the game with Olympic speed already in force in an
effort to further hone their bunnies skills and make the game harder. A competent game of bunnies
should be played at such a pace that the casual observer is rendered mesmerised by the velocity of
the action. UMIST refusal - Any pass may be refused by the intended recipient of that pass with a
UMIST refusal. This consists of the intended recipient loudly slapping their opposite shoulders with
their hands in a crossed over formation. Then the bunny is taken again by the player who was trying
to pass it. There may only be two UMIST refusals in each round. Any player committing the most
heinous and despicable bunnies crime of the third UMIST refusal will be subjected to a fine as
follows. While standing on a chair or table, the guilty player must consume eight digits (see 'Mr
Weights and Measures' below) A digit is the amount of liquid it takes to bring the water-level up to the
position of the lowest finger on the glass while rotating on the spot, with contributions to fill his vessel
from other players if needed. This most disgusting of bunnies offences must never go unpunished.
Repeat offenders are likely to be ejected for the game and have to live in shame for the rest of their
pitiful university careers, if not their remaining, hopefully short, life. A variation of this rule is 'The
Mirror', with the same rules other than both hands are put together with palms facing out at the
direction of the pass to reflect it back at the player making the pass. Reverse Bunnies - For the
experienced bunnies player only, these subtle complexities of the game are difficult to master, often
requiring years of practice and careful interpretation of the rules. The bunny can be reversed only
during the course of a pass. A player cannot reverse it by himself for himself. The bunny can only be
reversed by the player making the pass, and never by the player receiving the pass. In order to
reverse the bunny, a 'simple pass' is modified such that the arms cross over themselves, but still
point at the intended recipient. This is a 'Reversed Throw'. Once this pass is made, the player
receiving the reversed throw takes the bunny in a reversed manner - the left thumb is paced on the
right temple and vice versa, with the palms facing backwards. Similarly the reverse bunny is reverse
mirrored. For instance a player on the right of a reversed bunny will place his left thumb on his right
temple, instead of the right thumb. Once the bunny is reversed, it may be made 'normal' again by
throwing another 'reversed pass' with the arms crossed. Thus, a reversed bunny thrown with a
'reversed throw' (with crossed arms) is picked up as a 'normal' bunny. However, if a reversed bunny
is thrown with the arms straight and not crossed as a straight throw, the bunny remains reversed and
must be picked up as a reversed bunny. All the other passes may be carried out with reverse
modification as follows... For a reverse two man pass, the pass goes in the direction of the back of
the hand not the palm. The same is true for the reverse three and four man passes. For the reverse
three man pass the hand not on the nose is left in a reverse mirror like configuration. In the reverse
four-man pass, the hand not on the nose is placed palm upwards on top of the head. A reverse
cosmic pass is thrown in the direction of the back of the hand. A reversed bunny which is passed with
one of the 'reversed' forms of a pass remains reversed, until the bunny is normalised with a 'reversed
throw'. In an interesting and potentially confusing set of variations on the Brammall bounce, the
bunny may be reversed or normalised by crossing the arms while pointing at the upper playing
surface. Also the reverse of the Brammall bounce may be used, the so called 'Llammarb bounce'. To
perform this move the bunny is thrown with either straight or crossed arms (depending in whether the
bunny is to become reversed, become normal, or remain reversed or normal) at the floor under the
table. As in the Brammall bounce, the first player to pick up the bunny in the correct manner by
pointing with both hands at the floor 'takes' the bunny. Pete Best - Not only was Pete Best the original
drummer of popular Mersey beat combo, The Beatles, but also an exceptionally gifted sportsman and
most 'Olympic' of bunnies players. His memory lives on as a virtual player who may be introduced at
any time in the game. He is given a drink, a place in the circle (commonly between Mr Chairman and
an unwitting fresher) in which nobody must sit, on threat of a heavy fine. Pete commands the utmost
respect of all players. Any form of abuse, verbal or physical, directed at Pete will be fined in the most
severe manner. Pete has a few peculiarities that must be accommodated for when he is present in
the circle. Pete is always the best and fastest bunnies player in the circle. He always passes the
bunny back to whoever passes it to him, but not always in the same manner in which it was passed
to him. For instance, a player may pass to Pete with a simple pass, but almost instantaneously
receive the bunny again from a Brammall Bounce pass from Pete, requiring the player to stand up to
receive it correctly. Should any player issue a Brammal Bounce or any other pass that is picked up by
the first player to get it, Pete, of course being the fastest, always gets it before anyone else, then
passes it back again to the original passer. Pete is always up for going on away trips, especially in
university competitions, and is a regular on many a team sheets. This Researcher included him in all
of his team sheets as Captain of the UEA 1st XI field hockey team, which allowed the odd 'ringer' to
join us on the pitch as required. Empty Vessel - 'EV' is an abbreviation standing for Empty Vessel. If a
vessel is freed of its contents as a result of general beverage consumption or as a result of a 'fine',
then it must not be simply returned to the playing surface. Instead, the rim of the vessel must be
tapped gently on the playing surface, and then the base of the vessel touched down twice before the
player releases his grip. The fine for failing to EV is a statutory eight digits to be performed
upstanding. Selection of Mr Chairman Upon organising the game, there will be a long-winded voting
procedure masquerading as a democratic process to elect the position of Mr Chairman. This may
take the form of several nominations followed by at least five minutes or arguing, after which the
identity of Mr Chairman is resolved fairly (or unfairly) with a (fixed/loaded) three-round game of paper-
scissors-stone. The person who has been designated at the start of the season to take up this role
(usually the club chairman or president) will almost invariably win the contest regardless of the actual
outcome, despite all heckling and other protests of infringement of democratic rights and election
gerrymandering. The winner is now known only as Mr Chairman. Mr Chairman is the sole arbiter and
judge of the game whose decision is final and technically is always right (see later for exceptions).
His fines may be as fair or unfair as he sees fit, and he can fine anything he likes, with as harsh and
unfair a fine as he likes. Formation and Integrity of the Circle After the above voting procedure, all
players will sit down in the 'circle'. From this point they may no longer: * Talk to other persons outside
the circle (including 'real friends', girl/boyfriends etc). This is part of what is called 'Speaking out of
turn', described below. * Stand up, unless: - The game is in recess (see below) - They have been
instructed to do so by Mr Chairman or another committee member. - Are wishing to answer the call of
nature/visit the bar to refill their pint (see trunk calls below). - Are performing a bunnies 'pass' which
requires standing. * Point with the index finger, since this is considered to be extremely rude. Instead,
the elbow may be used to indicate direction. Mr Chairman may call the game into recess, in which the
circle is temporarily disbanded while more beverages are purchased en masse or some other
situation has to be dealt with, such as a boat race, the rugby club being thrown out of the bar, or a
fresher being sick, etc. The Use of Fines Mr Chairman and other members of the committee will
punish players who break any of the rules of the game, behave in any manner which the committee
dislikes, are a fresher, or in fact for no better reason other than they want to. These punishments are
in the form of fines, consisting most often of alcoholic liquid consumption. Fines are given in varying
degrees of severity depending on how 'heinous' the 'crime' was, at the discretion of the committee.
Fines are issued in measures of 'digits' (see 'Mr Weights and Measures' below). Fines are most often
issued at the end of a 'Round' of bunnies, but may be issued at any other time for technical
infringements or matters of discipline. All fines must be 'taken' in full as soon as physically possible
after they have been issued. Failure to 'take' a fine will result in general derision, public humiliation
and ejection form the game. The Committee and Their Roles in Fining Players To assist Mr Chairman
in his fining duties and to keep certain other things in order, several committee members are
appointed at the start of the game by Mr Chairman. Mr Chairman is a committee member and is
governed by the same general rule as the rest of his committee. This general rule is: Double fines for
committee members, so a fine that might usually be a two digit offence (such as failing to mirror the
bunny) must be taken as four by a committee member. This rule keeps the standard of the committee
high, as any player on the committee who is a poor bunnies player will quickly amass so many digits
of beer in fines that he will become highly intoxicated and likely to vomit or pass out. Referred to as
'Chief Sneak', this player carefully watches the game play and points out infringements of the rules
that Mr Chairman might have missed. He will be formally requested for 'Any other fines' by Mr
Chairman at the end of each 'Round' of bunnies. Several Assistant chief sneaks may also be
appointed if the circle is large. Most importantly, Chief Sneak is responsible for ending each round of
bunnies when play degenerates in to confusion or a player commits a heinous breach of the rules.
Upon either of these happening he issues a call of 'Hold it right there!' while standing up and making
a horizontal sweeping movement with his right arm. At this point, the round is ended and he may
begin to assist Mr Chairman in issuing fines as appropriate. Referred to as 'Mr Weights and
Measures', this player determines the size of each fine as administered by Mr Chairman, who will
often, but not always, suggest a size for the fine. Fines are delivered and paid in a number of 'digits'-
worth of a beverage in a pint vessel. For instance, one participant (a fresher, say) makes the stupid
mistake of falling for Mr Chairman's Loughbrough dummy. At the end of the round of bunnies, Mr
Chairman points out the fine before he moves on to more important business. Mr Weights and
Measures then instructs the fresher to consume two digits of beer. This entails the fresher picking up
his vessel (with the appropriate hand(s), see 'chirality' below), and using the width of two of his digits
as a measure from the surface level of the beverage. He then consumes from the vessel until the
surface level of the beverage is at the bottom of his two digits. As a guide, a whole pint measures
eight digits. MR THUMB Referred to as 'Mr Thumb', this player, initially secretly appointed by Mr
Chairman sometime into the game, can at any time place his right thumb on the upper playing
surface. At this point the round of bunnies finishes, and all players continue to play at their own risk.
The last player to realise the round had been interrupted by Mr Thumb by following his suit by also
placing his right thumb on the playing surface, is the loser. He is fined four fingers. However, he may
gamble double or quits on the call of a tossed coin. A new round of bunnies is started and the player
who was last to get his right thumb on the table is now Mr Thumb, and may interrupt the game at any
time, by placing his right thumb on the playing surface. It is, of course, illegal to inform a player
verbally that Mr Thumb has interrupted the round. However, careful use of the elbow pointing
technique and other non-verbal methods may be employed to inform one's friends of the interruption,
such that an unwitting fresher gets the wrap. Use of the left thumb is a dummy, and any player
following the dummy will be fined accordingly. MR NOSE Similar in concept to Mr Thumb, 'Mr Nose'
interrupts the game by placing his nose on the playing surface. The same rules apply as for Mr
Thumb. Mr Nose may also place his nose on any available surface, such as another player's back, a
nearby wall or door, a light fitting, the saloon etc. These variations are of doubtless humour, but
should be exercised with extreme caution as they tend to be disruptive to the game and the
continued presence of the players in that particular saloon, due to attracting unwanted attention from
the saloon staff/bouncers. Issues Regarding Names Players cannot retain their name. Players may
assume a pseudonym which must be prefixed with 'Minister of' and can be anything of the player's
choice. Mr Chairman may, however, overrule anyone's name due to them being a member of 'the
committee' see below, or just because he doesn't like it. Mr Chairman will replace the name with one
he deems more fitting. A female Chairperson is still called Mr Chairman. Once the names of all the
players have been decided and set by a round of names, where each player in turn gives his name
such that all players can hear it, they may only be referred to by that name for the rest of the game.
Failure to use the correct name may be fined at the discretion of Mr Chairman. At any point, Mr
Chairman may instruct of the committee members to repeat the round of names, by saying out load
the name of each player in the circle. Every name that the committee member fails to get right earns
him a digit of beer as a fine. Names must be correctly correlated with the players to whom they
belong. Language and Communication Swearing or any other kind of crude language or verbal abuse
is not permitted. Bunnies is a sociable, orderly, friendly and logical game. No room exists in the game
for 'Speaking out of turn' in which a player vocalises to any other player or person outside the circle,
unless he is a committee member or has been invited to speak by Mr Chairman. A player may
attempt to attract the attention of Mr Chairman only by raising his elbow (not his hand, since that
would be considered very rude and result in a fine for pointing). Failure to adhere to this law of
silence will quickly result in the disintegration of the game into very noisy, lawless anarchy. This state
of affairs is generally considered to be 'Very Poor', and it is Mr Chairman's responsibility to keep
noisy and easily distracted players minds focussed on the game by maintaining a continuum of flow
in the game and repeatedly fining offenders. Any kind of argument about fairness or dissatisfaction
with allocation of fines is strictly prohibited. No pointing with index finger is allowed, as this is very
rude indeed. Instead a player may bring attention to another player or himself by using the much less
offensive elbow as a pointing tool. The following list of words shows words that are considered
unacceptable in a bunnies circle and the words that should be substituted for them when the situation
dictates: Incorrect word Correct word Bar Saloon Finger Digit Table Playing surface Ceiling Upper
playing surface Beer/Drink Beverage Drink (verb) Consume/Imbibe Particularly heavy fines may be
incurred by failure to adhere to these rules. Concluding points These far-from-exhaustive rules should
give the inexperienced or novice player the tools to be able to fully enjoy their post match festivities in
their or someone else's students union/sports club bar. This has been written in the face the wrath of
many a die-hard bunnies player, who would argue that the rules of the sacred game should never be
written down, but learned only from hard experience and the fines associated with that. But in these
days of mobile communications, the Internet, and the changing face of the student population, who
seem less and less interested in the playing of such games as bunnies, and more and more
interested in not behaving in a loud obnoxious manner in order to look 'cool', it's necessary to lay the
rules down forever in the hope of a return of a more civilised age which may one day realise again
the full potential of this most noble of games.