The Communication
Process
Communication
That is what we try to do
Speak to those near us
Barriers to
Communication
Active Listening
Feedback
Nonverbal Behaviors
of Communication
Without knowing the force of words
it is impossible to know men." -
Confucius
Speaking Hints
On Discussing
Communication
Paul Ekman
Emotions
References
Pearson, J. (1983). I n t e r p e r s o n a l
C o m m u n i c a t i o n . Glenview, Illinois: Scott,
Foreman and Company.
Notes
o The strength of certain needs. For example, you are hungry, but
you must have a task completed by a nearing deadline. If you are
starving you will eat. If you are slightly hungry you will finish the task
at hand.
o The perception that taking a certain action will help satisfy those
needs. For example, you have two burning needs - The desire to
complete the task and the desire to go to lunch. Your perception of
how you view those two needs will determine which one takes priority.
If you believe that you could be fired for not completing the task, you
will probably put off lunch and complete the task. If you believe that
you will not get into trouble or perhaps finish the task in time, then you
will likely go to lunch.
Allow the needs of your team to coincide with the needs of your
organization. Nearly everyone is influenced by the needs for job
security, promotion, raises, and approval of their peers and/or leaders.
They are also influenced by internal forces such as values morals,
and ethics. Likewise, the organization needs good people in a wide
variety of jobs. Ensure that your team is trained, encouraged, and has
opportunities to advance. Also, ensure that the way you conduct
business has the same values, moral, and ethic principles that you
seek in others. If you conduct business in a dishonest manner, your
team will be dishonest to you, for that will be the kind of people that
you will attract.
Set the example. You must be the role model that you want others to
grow into.
Look out for your team. Although you do not have control over their
personal lives, you must show concern for them. Things that seem of
no importance to you might be extremely critical to them. You must be
able to empathize with them. This is from the German word,
e i n f u h l i n g , which means "to feel with", or the ability to perceive
another person's view of the world as though that view were your
own. The Sioux Indian Tribal Prayer reads, "Great Spirit, help us
never to judge another until we have walked for two weeks in his
moccasins." Also note that empathy differs from sympathy in that
sympathy connotes spontaneous emotion rather than a conscious,
reasoned response. Sympathizing with others may be less useful to
another person if we are limited by the strong feelings of the moment.
Counseling
o Respect for employees - This includes the belief that individuals are
responsible for their own actions and ideas. It includes an awareness
of a person's individuality by recognizing their unique values,
attributes, and skills. As you attempt to develop people with
counseling, you must refrain from projecting your own values onto
them.
o Self-Awareness - This quality is an understanding of yourself as a
leader. The more you are aware of your own values, needs, and
biases, the less likely you will be to project your feelings onto your
employees.
o Credibility - Believability is achieved through both honesty and
consistency between both the leader's statements and actions.
Credible leaders are straightforward with their subordinates and
behave in such a manner that earns the subordinates' respect and
trust.
o Empathy - or compassion entails understanding a subordinates
situation. Empathetic leaders will be better able to help subordinates
identify the situation and then develop a plan to improve it.
1. Identify the problem. Ensure you get to the heart of the problem. The
Japanese use a practice called the Five Whys. They ask "why" five
times when confronted with a problem -- by the time the fifth why is
answered, they believe they have found the ultimate cause of the
problem.
2. Analyze the forces influencing the behavior. Determine which of these
forces you have control over and which of the forces the worker has
control over. Determine if the force has to be modified, eliminated, or
enforced.
3. Plan, coordinate, and organize the session. Determine the best time
to conduct the session so that you will not be interrupted or forced to
end too early.
4. Conduct the session using sincerity, compassion, and kindness. This
does not mean you cannot be firm or in control. Your reputation is on
the line...the problem must be solved so that your department can
continue with its mission. Likewise, you must hear the person out.
5. During the session, determine what the worker believes causes the
counter productive behavior and what will be required to change it.
Also, determine if your initial analysis is correct.
6. Try to maintain a sense of timing of when to use directive or
nondirective counseling (see below).
7. Using all the facts, make a decision and/or a plan of action to correct
the problem. If more counseling is needed, make a firm time and date
for the next session.
8. After the session and throughout a sufficient time period evaluate the
worker's progress to ensure the problem has indeed been solved.
o Let the person know that the behavior is undesirable, not the person.
o Let the person know that you care about him or her as a person, but
that you expect more from them.
o Do not punish employees who are unable to perform a task. Punish
those who are able to perform the task but are unwilling or
unmotivated to succeed.
o Counseling sessions should be conducted in private immediately after
the undesirable behavior. Do not humiliate a person in front of others.
o Ensure that the employee understands exactly what behavior led to
the counseling or punishment.
o Do not hold a grudge. When it is over...it is over! Move on!
Performance Appraisals
The appraisal should be a joint effort. No one knows the job better
than the person performing it. By turning the appraisal into a real
discussion, rather than a lecture, the leader may learn some insightful
information that could help boost his or her performance in the future.
Before the meeting, have the worker complete her own self-appraisal.
Although you might think they will take advantage of this by giving
themselves unearned high marks, studies have shown that most
workers rate themselves more critically than the leader would have.
Should Performance
Appraisals be Scrapped?
There has been some talk of completely doing away with
performance appraisals as they sometimes do more harm that they
cause. Yet performance appraisals are tools and like any other tool,
they can be used correctly or incorrectly. Part of the problem might be
with its name -- "Performance Appraisal", which has sort of a
judgmental sound to it; perhaps "Performance Planning and Review"
might be a better term for it.
What is interesting about all of this is that they have been bought
three times, and NOT because they are losing money -- they make
more money per square foot of business than the average grocery
store. The new leadership teams have never said that they need to
pay them what the rest of the industry pays. Why? Because they see
the value in their workers! Rather than giving lip-service to
"employees our are most valuable asset", they actually walk-the-talk.
Thus, the real argument is not really about scrapping PAs, but rather
ensuring that once goals are set, that all roles are properly accounted
for so that the target can indeed be met.