A JournAl of
PersonAl freedom
Laisha Kneuven
Certified Life Coach
Laisha is a Certified
Ontological Life Coach
and has successfully
practiced in the personal
growth industry for the
past twenty years. With
a corporate background
in marketing, sales and
office management and
a BA in Education, she
offers compassionate
perspectives and refined
observations to help
others help themselves.
As a Life Coach, Laisha
has helped hundreds of
women over the years,
including teachers, com-
puter specialists, artists,
writers, teens, homemak-
ers and seniors.
She is a companion
to those who struggle
with life’s challenges
and long for a new
approach to attain a
better quality of life.
Laisha helps women ac-
cess their inherent gifts
within, get clear about
their life purpose and
or business vision...and
then keep them focused
until it is achieved.
add i t i o n a l
of f e r i n g s
Solutions for Women:
Resource Center & Gift Shop
536 Winchester St.,Suite D
Roseburg, OR 97470
Seminars:
• Managing Life
Transitions
• Self Care
• Women & Business
• Relationship Matters
• Money Matters
Life Coaching:
• Private sessions
Contact Laisha for a
sample coaching session:
541-673-4337
email: Laisha@
brightideas-coaching.com
May/June 2006
Attraction—Getting What You Want to Come to You
T here’s a spring in Marissa’s step, and she simply
radiates positive, upbeat, can-do energy. She’s “in the
flow.” Good things continue to happen in her work and
personal life with seeming effortlessness.
Contrast this with Kelly, who puts in twice as many
hours at work—super-long, hard hours every day—yet
rarely achieves what she’s striving so hard to create. As
for what she wants for her personal life—good community,
artistic expression, romance—well…what personal life? She
doesn’t have time because she’s working so hard.
What’s the difference? Hint: It has to do with Marissa’s
ability to attract what she wants. However, this kind of at-
traction has nothing to do with looks.
Rather, it’s about Marissa’s ability to attract abun-
dance by living in a way that’s in tune with her purpose,
her passions, her most vital and alive self.
The law of attraction. It’s not just some woo-woo
theory, it’s scientific: like matter attracts like. It’s similar to
a radio broadcast: when tuned into a particular station,
you will only hear (attract) the frequency of radio waves
that match that station’s signal. And when that happens,
everything seems easy, not a struggle.
“Once you change the way you are inside, the outer
world changes,” writes Joe Vitale, author of the recent
best-seller The Attractor Factor.
Vitale is one of dozens of authors who write persua-
sively on the subject, as is Sonia Choquette, author of Your
Heart’s Desire: Creating the Life You Really Want. Most
suggest the same key ingredients for attracting into your
life what you want:
• Get clear on what you want and why. It’s not
enough to know what you don’t want. You can’t get what
Routine Maintenance Points
We do routine maintenance checks on our cars to keep them running
well, and regular physicals to check up on our bodies. It’s also a
good idea to perform routine check-ins with our minds and hearts to
see if we’re keeping on track with what we want to do and create in
our lives.
1. Am I asking for what I need? Do I act as my own
advocate?
2. What do I want? What don’t I want?
3. Am I taking good care of myself? Check in with
the physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual aspects
of your life.
4. Is there something I need to do that I haven’t 9. Am I at peace with people, places and
done? What’s in the way? things in my life?
10. Am I having fun?
5. Am I resisting something? The things we resist
often provide the greatest opportunity for growth.
from lAishA Kneuven
you want until you know what that is! Getting crystal clear
is where the “magic” of attraction all begins.
• Imagine it. See it as happening. “Conscious change
is brought about by the two qualities inherent in conscious-
ness: attention and intention,” writes Deepak Chopra.
“Attention energizes, and intention transforms. Whatever
you put your attention on will grow stronger in your life.”
• Keep yourself receptive. Exercise, eat healthily,
play, relax. Stress, exhaustion, sluggishness, etc., can all
interfere with attraction. In the radio station analogy, they
become the “static” that interferes with the “frequencies”
of that which you’re wanting to attract. Though taking a
day off to relax rather than working frantically may seem
as difficult as stepping off a precipice, it can be just what
is needed.
• Listen to your intuitive nudges. Attraction isn’t
about sitting back and waiting for it all to come to you.
Action is always required to meet goals and make dreams
come true. Vitale writes: “Your job is to ask for what you
want, and then to act on the inner nudges you get to do
things, like make phone calls, write letters, visit a certain
person, or whatever.” Don’t worry if your “nudges” don’t
make immediate sense. The “why” will reveal itself later.
• Surrender control. This means to let go and trust. Let
go of the particular way in which things will happen. Let
go of fear, doubt, worry and disappointment. Let go of the
notion of struggle. Trust that the outcome will be just right.
So whether it’s a job promotion, traveling, finding a
life partner, buying a new house or whatever, claim your
dream. It’s yours if you want it.
6. Am I holding onto something I need to let
go of? Letting go can be difficult, but it’s the only way
to move forward.
7. Am I repeating old patterns? Do the same
problems or situations show up wearing different
clothes? If so, it might be time to dig deep into the bot-
tom of this closet and do some Spring cleaning!
8. Is there something for me to learn here?
When we resist, hold on and repeat harmful or unsatis-
fying patterns, there’s always a life lesson underneath.
2 May/June 2006
Self-Quiz Are You Living With a Victim Mentality?
Old-fashioned melodramas featured hapless heroines who always seemed to
find themselves being tied to a railroad track or evicted from home into a fierce
storm as the villain twirled his oily moustache. Only a white-hatted hero or the
cavalry could rescue them as they cried, “Woe is me!” Times of stress or a need
to respond to fearful situations can stir up the victim in all of us.
Take this Self-Quiz to see if you’re carrying around a victim mentality that may be
robbing you of your sense of personal power.
True False
1. My first response to a setback is to blame someone
else for what’s happened.
2. No matter what I do, things are not really going to
change for me.
3. I often find myself beginning thoughts with phrases like
“I can’t,” “I’m no good at,” “I’ve never been able to.”
4. When things go wrong, I tend to beat myself up.
5. Sometimes I’m lucky, but when bad things happen it
is because I mess up.
6. When angry, I rarely begin sentences with “I.”
7. Conversations with friends are often about how hard
my life is.
8. I spend a fair amount of my time thinking about past
failures and mistakes.
What sharks are swimming in your water?
What are you going to do about it?
“Your past is not your potential. In any hour, you can choose to
liberate the future." —Marilyn Ferguson
9. When friends offer advice, I usually counter it with
a “Yes, but…” since they can’t know how difficult my
situation really is.
10. Other people usually cause me to feel the way I do.
I’d be more centered if it weren’t for them.
11. I’m always so busy with work and the things I need
to do to survive that I just don’t have time to do things I
want to do for myself.
12. I’d like to exercise more and eat in a healthier way,
but I just can’t right now.
13. If I weren’t tied down to all these obligations, I could
really do some of the things I always think about doing.
14. Someday I’ll find a new partner who will really
change my life. In the meantime, all I can do is hope.
15. I must have done something really horrible in a past
life because nothing I do ever works out.
16. If only I had had more support, I could have…(fill in
the blank).
“Victimhood” is usually a way of staying stuck in old patterns and can be an
externalizing way of dealing with unacknowledged anger or fear of change. If
you’ve answered true to more than a handful of these questions, chances are
you’d benefit from a closer look at what’s happening in your life right now. Feel
free to call.
Recommended Reading
Never Check Email in the Morning and Other Unexpected
Strategies for Making Your Work Life Work, by Julie Mor-
genstern
Dealing with People You Can’t Stand: How to Bring Out the
Best in People at Their Worst, by Dr. Rick Brinkman and Dr.
Rick Kirschner
I Need Balance In My Life: Achieving the Dream of the 21st
Century, by Dr. James Cowley
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Compassion, by
Marshall Rosenberg
The Creative Habit, by Twyla Tharp
Fearless Loving, by Rhonda Britten
© 2006 Claire Communications
 May/June 2006 3

Organize Yourself for Life!

T he person on the phone wants to go over the contract she sent you. This is THE call you’ve been waiting
for! However, looking at your cluttered desk and the bags full of paperwork waiting to be filed, you have
no idea where the document might be.
You bluff your way out of the conversation (“Can I call you right back? I was on the other line when you The following questions are de-
called.”) and spend 30 minutes hunting for the paper. When you finally find it, you notice the stickie remind- signed to broaden perspectives, to
open vistas, to widen the lens. There
ing you of action you were to have taken on the document last week. Yikes! is no one right way to approach
Now, where is her phone number? It’s on the back of this envelope, right? Maybe it was on the back of them. You can journal about them,
today’s lunch receipt… talk to friends, create art, ponder
Pretty scary! The wasted time and energy. The harsh self- them while driving or working out,
criticism. The stress and embarrassment. The lost opportunities. dance them—whatever helps you
explore “outside the box.”
This nightmare comes to life countless times every day by
people who miss or ignore the direct connection between
organization and success. It’s not just that organization al-
lows you to move more easily around your home or office. 1. How is my disorganization
Organizing your life at home and at your office helps you serving me? What is it costing
fulfill your own potential. me?
“Organizing is the process by which we create environ- 2. Who would I be without my
ments that enable us to live, work and relax exactly as we clutter?
want to,” writes Julie Morgenstern, in her book, Organizing
from the Inside Out. “When we are organized, our homes, 3. What’s the impact of my
offices and schedules reflect and encourage who we are, what we want and where we are going.” clutter on my sense of integrity?
For most people, the three biggest obstacles to organized spaces are: 1) clutter (paper and email), 4. What would I have time
2) planning and 3) follow-through, the latter two being more an issue of time management. And while and space for if my office
disorganized space can be much like a disorganized schedule—overly packed, haphazard, limited in space were organized?
or hours—it makes sense to organize space and paper first. Below are some tips for tackling clutter.
5. What am I vibrating ener-
If you’re starting from scratch—organizing your entire office and/or home and creating a new system—
getically? What signals am I
Morgenstern advises to first analyze the situation, taking an overall look at space, furnishings, equipment,
generally sending out?
supplies and types of paperwork. Ask yourself five questions:
1. What’s working? It’s helpful to know what’s not “broken” so that you don’t spend time fixing it. 6. What old limiting beliefs
Also, a little “good news” is nice to hear. am I continuing to hold? What
2. What’s not working? Take a big picture approach here. For example, it takes forever to get more involved and useful
things done, because I can’t easily find what I need, so I work a lot of overtime. beliefs would I like to replace
3. What items are most essential to you? What do you need to have at hand? What papers them with?
represent the crux of your business? What do you need easy, quick access to at home?
7. What’s my level of receptiv-
4. Why do you want to get organized? This addresses the benefits you expect to derive from an
ity? What’s my level of respon-
organized office/home. Less anxiety, more energy for work, increased downtime, space for hobbies, a
siveness to intuitive nudges?
more spacious and relaxed feeling at home.
5. What’s causing the problems? Some of the most common sources of clutter: inconvenient 8. How does my self-care
or insufficient storage, no designated “home” for things, perception of not enough time to get or stay compare to how I maintain
organized. my car?
The next step is to strategize how to approach the things that are not working and their underlying prob-
9. What would happen if I
lems. There are dozens of organization methods and systems; one might be just right for you, or you may be
gave up resisting?
best served by mixing and matching ideas.
To arrive at any kind of a sustaining system, Morgenstern writes, it’s important to understand and work 10. What do I get out of be-
with or around psychological obstacles to a clutter-free environment. These may include: ing a victim?
• Unclear goals and priorities. Organizing is about defining what’s important and setting up a 11. What’s liberating about
system to reflect that. taking full responsibility?
• Fear of success/fear of failure. Disorganization may be a convenient way to hold back.
• Need to retreat. Clutter can be a protective shield to keep others at a safe distance. 12. How is money energy?
• Fear of losing creativity. A common myth is that creative, “right-brained” people need to work in 13. What am I prioritizing
chaos to produce high-quality work. Balderdash! when I keep quiet or avoid
• Need for distraction. Clutter can provide a convenient excuse to avoid uncomfortable issues or dealing with money?
unwanted tasks.
• Need for perfection. Often, people won’t deal with clutter until it can be done perfectly. Transla-
tion: It will never get done.
Identifying these obstacles to an organized office and/or home can go a long way toward creating an
effective, lasting solution to clutter and disorganization. Along the way, you might just find yourself fulfilling
your potential, too!
4 May/June 2006

Money Talks...But People Don't

Here’s a quick, three-part quiz about one of the major issues most that the sooner we deal with
individuals grapple with these days. our fears, the more money we
a) List the most frequent points of contention that recur in relation- will be able to create. “When
ship after relationship. you heal your heart, you help
your pocketbook,” she says.
b) Name the biggest fear women have about their future. Often it is the early messag-
c) Guess the secret we hold dearest, beyond even our most es we received about money
intimate relations. that influence our current
If you said: a) communications, sex and MONEY; b) losing control beliefs. That relentless, looping
of their physical or mental facilities or being on the street because they tape recorder in our minds
don’t have any MONEY; and, c) the amount of MONEY we owe; picks up and continues to play
you’re absolutely right. old ideas that are sometimes
Money—the lack of it, the fear of losing it, and the dread of not so subtle we don’t even realize
having enough—tops the list of concerns of the majority of people these their presence.
days. Everybody, it seems, has money issues, but, sadly, hardly any- So, one of the first steps in dealing with current money issues is to
body talks about it. Money is our secret, both in private and in public. check out early beliefs that continue to color behavior and attitudes.
Sometimes we don’t even admit our worries to ourselves. Make notes about these old messages. Write them down just as they
Like most secret fears, anxieties about money spread like the com- play in your mind. Also list your fears about money—no matter how
mon cold until they’ve infected our attitude and behavior and smoth- ridiculous or far-fetched they might sound.
ered any sense of well-being. And, because we don’t talk about them Our unspoken attitudes and ideas about money issues may be get-
or admit them, we are held back from doing anything about them. ting in the way of a sense of well-being and security in our lives. In fact,
Once the fear is given voice, however, some of its power is taken away we may not even know they exist. And, like finding our way through
and we can begin to take action. a darkened room when things are going bump in the night, it always
Suze Orman, author of The 9 Steps to Financial Freedom, believes helps to turn on the lights.

choices one makes.” —Eleanor Roosevelt

“One’s philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the

women’s aspirations and life transitions.

Solutions for Women is dedicated to supporting

www.brightideas-coaching.com

email: Laisha@brightideas-coaching.com
541-673-4337

Roseburg, OR 97470
536 Winchester St., Suite D
Resource Center & Gift Shop
Solutions for Women
Laisha Kneuven