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Emotional Health

The Collected EFT Articles of

EFT Master Gwyneth Moss

First published by Gary Craig on


www.emofree.com

www.Emotional-Health.co.uk
Contents:
These articles on the application of Emotional Freedom Techniques
were written by Gwyneth Moss MA, EFT Master in 2006 and 2007
and were first published by Gary Craig, Originator of EFT on the
www.emofree.com website.

1. The ABC Approach to EFT ..................................................... 4


2. Tapping on TREEs, a Metaphor for EFT ................................. 11
3. Weeding your Emotional Garden with EFT ............................. 19
4. Creative Uses of the EFT Movie Technique ............................ 23
Article 1 of 4: Movie Technique – Childhood Memory ............ 23
Article 2: Movie Technique – Present Fear ........................... 30
Article 3: Movie Technique – Future Anxiety ........................ 35
Article 4: Movie Technique – Fictional Movie ........................ 38
5. Emotion and Perception: EFT makes it a Two Way Street ........ 42
6. How to Handle a "Vague Feeling" with EFT ............................ 47
7. A Public Speaking Case where Language was the Issue.......... 50
8. Thoughts on being Specific or General with EFT .................... 53
9. Introducing the EFT Imagineering Technique......................... 57
10. Gwyneth Moss Discusses Support for Therapists .................. 80
11. A Humorous Reply to an EFT Skeptic .................................. 90
12. Two Cats and a Puppy ...................................................... 94
13. "How do I Get That Good?" ............................................... 99

www.Emotional-Health.co.uk

2
www.eft-in-action.com
In the summer of 2007, nine people came to Ilkley Healing Centre on the edge of the Yorkshire Dales for an extraordinary weekend of
EFT therapy with Gwyneth Moss, EFT Master. These live therapy sessions are intended as inspiration and advanced learning for those
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Abused and Angry Fear for my Daughter I’m Only Ninety Percent
DVD 3 - Manuela: DVD 6 - Gillian: DVD 9 - Penny:
I Lost my Safe Person Too Much Tragedy I Can’t Keep Hold of Money
1. The ABC Approach to EFT

Hi Everyone,

EFT Master Gwyneth Moss provides a simple structure to the EFT


process that helps people find the "words that work."

Hugs, Gary

By Gwyneth Moss, EFT Master

Many times people ask “how do I use EFT to help with….” This
question is often asked with the expectation that there is a library
of set-up phrases and if only they can be given the right words then
EFT will work wonders for them. Well using EFT effectively isn’t
quite like that. There is no library of the right words that fit each
behaviour, emotion symptom or medical diagnosis. There are no
right or wrong words; there are only the words that work. And the
words that work for one person are not necessarily the words that
work for another. We are all unique human beings with unique life
experiences and unique emotional responses. So ‘the words that
work’ are individual and subjective: the words that work are the
words that describe and tune a person into their own unique
emotional experience.

I’d like to introduce to you the teaching tool that I use to


communicate EFT to my clients and trainees to help them find the
words that work. I call it the ABC of EFT and it helps to guide a
person through the EFT process by making it easier to remember
the stages of the process and to gain some understanding about
why we do what we do in EFT.

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A is for Awareness. This is the ever so important pre-tapping
stage in which we use our awareness to tune into the unique and
individual subjective experience of this particular person with this
particular problem. This awareness is where the words come from.

B is for Balancing. When we rub the sore spot or tap the karate
chop and say the set up phrase “even though… I accept myself”
what we are effectively doing is balancing the energy and balancing
the meaning of the problem.

C is for Clearing. As we tap the EFT tapping points using a few


reminder words to keep tuned in we are clearing the disturbance –
the “zzzt” that those words give rise to.

And what about the D that follows A, B and C? Well D is for test
for change and then Do it Again!

ABC is nice and easy to remember and Awareness, Balancing,


Clearing and Do it Again is descriptive of the steps of the EFT
process. Lets now get into a little more depth with A and B and C.

A is for Awareness

Usually when we have a problem emotion colouring our thoughts


and feelings we are trying to ignore it or push it away. This is
because what we are used to is having no control or influence over
our emotions and the way that they drive our behaviour and
thoughts. We can thus become scared of our own emotions.

However EFT allows us to effectively, quickly and painlessly balance


the energy of our emotions so that we can think clearly and act
resourcefully. Knowing this it becomes safe to approach and
observe an emotion. In the Awareness stage we begin by observing

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with a kind of detached curiosity. Like being on safari and watching
the wild animals from a hide.

Awareness is about asking the questions a detective would ask and


being observant for the details of the answers. Awareness
questions are commonsense questions that seek specific
information about what’s out there that sets of the problem and
how the problem is experienced internally. Questions like:

“What sets that off?”

“When is it worst?”

“When you get like that what’s it like?”

“What do you have to think about to feel like that?”

“When (or where, or with whom) does it happen worst?”

“How do you know you are afraid?”

“Where do you feel that in your body?”

The words of the answers reveal how this particular person


experiences this particular emotion in response to this particular
trigger.

B is for Balancing

The words we gather from Awareness feed into the Balancing stage
in which we contain the problem in a sentence that makes it safe to
hold. Someone called the EFT set up ‘wrapping your problem in a
blessing’ and indeed that is what we do. We can all hold a pebble
so close to our eye that we block out the sky and we can all give a
problem so much of our attention that we lose sight of what is good
and true and joyful in our lives.

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Simply saying “Even though I <insert words from awareness>} I
truly and deeply accept myself” is like moving the pebble to arms
length. It doesn’t go away but now both sky and pebble can be
seen at the same time. The balancing words simply put something
about the problem and something about self acceptance into the
same sentence. ‘Even though...’ is an elegant way to do this and
AND will work just fine as in “I have <this problem> and I’m
loved.”

C is for Clearing

Most of us started out with the full sequence of the EFT basic recipe
tapping all the face and body points and the fingers and the nine
gamut but any of you who have seen Gary’s recent (and excellent)
work will have realised that much of the time EFT gets results just
with a short cut. I only put the face and body points on the ABC
sheet for my clients because that is usually all we use in the session
and usually all that is needed.

As we tap the points we keep attention focussed on the problem by


repeating a few of the words we used in the balancing statement.
These don’t have to be the same on each point and if you find your
intuition is varying the words then go with it. Beware though of
jumping about all over the place and onto different aspects without
fully clearing any.

A few variations I add from the basic eyebrow to underarm


sequence is to either finish the clearing round by returning to the
collarbone or finishing on the top of the head with the finger tips or
by slapping the inside of the wrist. EFT is very flexible when it
comes to which points to include or miss out. I like to give the
collarbone point extra attention because for many people it is their
“one point” which seems to have extra effect. Often on the first few

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iterations of EFT I tap round the clearing points for two or three
rounds, as we go I’m watching my client closely and letting my
intuition guide me as to how much or how fast to tap.

ABC in Action

Sally came to me saying that she had become highly nervous and
simple things like going out to the shops had become a struggle. In
the calm of my consulting room I asked her “What would you have
to think about now to feel that nervous feeling here?” She replied
“My husband and I are divorcing and I only have to think about the
letters from his lawyer to feel all jittery” as she spoke she put her
hand to her chest.

This awareness gave us two pieces of valuable information to form


some balancing words for EFT: the outside trigger of seeing the
lawyer’s letters and the inside response of jittery in her chest. Just
one of these would have been enough but we used both and our
balancing words were: “Even though I feel all jittery in my chest
seeing those lawyers letters I really am OK and I really do accept
myself.” We then tapped around the EFT clearing points saying
“lawyers letters” and “jittery in my chest” for a couple of rounds
ending on the collarbone (I noticed that she visibly softened as she
tapped the collarbone). I asked her then to imagine seeing one of
those letters and she laughed and said “They are just like children
playing games and using long scary words to frighten each other”

Now this was progress for Sally and she looked visibly brighter but
my intuition suspected there was more work to be done so back to
the awareness stage only with more detail. I asked her to focus on
the letter from the lawyer as if her husband’s voice were reading it
and asked “is there anything about that that could still get to you?”
“It’s not his voice she replied “its that put down sneering look that

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makes me, a top saleswoman, feel 6 inches tall”. Here is another
aspect and Sally has given us the words for the next balancing
statement “Even though his put down sneering look makes me feel
6 inches tall I really do accept myself, I’m a grown woman and the
top in sales.” We followed this with a round of “sneering look” and
we both sneered as we tapped and ended up laughing. I asked her
to test by imagining meeting with her husband, she could stay calm
thinking about that but then became angry remembering a business
meeting several years before when she had been belittled. So we
put that through ABC and continued for the rest of the hour until
she left calm and cheerful clutching her ABC sheet and confident
about using it.

I hope you find ABC useful and share it with your clients and
friends.

Gwyneth Moss, EFT Master

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Awareness:
What bothers you? Notice what tension, pain, memory or craving is
there. Name it. Be really specific and detailed. How does it make
you feel? Can you give it an intensity number on a scale of 0 to 10?
Balancing:
Say three times out loud as you tap the side of your hand (karate
place)….”Even though I …(describe the problem).....I truly and deeply
accept myself”

Clearing:
Tap with two fingers on the eight acupressure points saying a few
reminder words about the problem “this problem” to focus your
attention. Tap the crown of your head last with all finger tips.

Now….Take a deep breath and close your eyes for a moment.


Tune into the problem. Notice what has changed or what emerges.
Measure again and repeat ABC on the remainder of the problem or
on another aspect of the problem.

8 Crown of Head
1 Start of Eyebrow

2 Outer corner of eye

3 Under centre of eye


4 Above top lip
5 Middle of chin

6 Knob at end of collar bone

7 Under arm at bra strap level

The ABC of EFT by Gwyneth Moss EFT Master, www.Emotional-Health.co.uk

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2. Tapping on TREEs, a Metaphor for EFT

Hi Everyone,

EFT Master Gwyneth Moss, from the UK, spells out a useful
metaphor that expands upon the tree example that I use in The EFT
Course. Interestingly, she uses this model to teach us how to craft
useful EFT Set-up phrases. Please know that this article assumes
that you have familiarity with The EFT Course.

Hugs, Gary

By Gwyneth Moss, EFT Master

Part 1

In his excellent article in the tutorial series,


http://www.emofree.com/tutorial/tutorbtwo.htm, Gary compares an
emotional problem to a forest of trees. In my teaching I like to
extend this metaphor of the trees and the forest to offer my
trainees a useful model that can act as a guide to help navigate
through an EFT session.

Our emotional forests are filled with healthy trees of joy,


compassion, love and resourcefulness and yet there are also weed-
like trees of fear, shame and anger that, though they may have
been helpful once, have now become a problem. We can use EFT to

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clear these unwanted trees so that our emotional forests can
flourish.

EFT Newcomers often ask "How do I find the right words to use?"
Well, the beauty of thisTREE model is that it helps you to craft the
words of the set up phrases. I'd like to share the TREE model with
you and to take you through it with the illustration of Becky and her
encounter with the Rat from Gary's excellent EFT Course DVD.

T-R-E-E spells Tree.

T is for Trunk or Trigger.

The Trunk of the tree is the bit above the ground that you can see.
Every emotional arousal has something out there that sets it off, a
trigger. It could be something we see, hear, touch, smell or taste or
it could equally be something that we imagine or remember seeing,
hearing, touching, smelling or tasting. Our emotional systems can't
tell the difference between what we imagine, what we remember
and what is coming in through our senses.

For Becky the trigger, the Trunk of her TREE, is the word "rat" as
Gary says "what would you do if someone put a rat in this room?"
Becky does not need to see a rat. It is enough for her to hear the
word and imagine a rat in the room.

R is for Roots.

The Roots of a tree are underground; from the surface you can't
see them. When Becky hears the word "rat" she does not stop and
think about why rats are scary or what they remind her of; she just
gets scared instantly and automatically. In that moment Becky is
not conscious of memories of previous experiences with rats but
below the level of her awareness a little bit of her brain called the

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amygdala will be matching that trigger to the roots of past
emotional experiences.

Somehow, long ago, Becky learned to be afraid of rats. It could be


that she was surprised by one as a child or saw a rat-infested horror
film when she was too young, or even that her mother was afraid of
rats and she learned by imitation. We don't know and we don't need
to. Whatever happened back then, Becky doesn't consciously
remember that now but her mind-body system does. The memory
is what we call an implicit memory and like the Roots of the TREE it
is buried and not apparent from the surface.

E is for Energy.

Energy is the life force of the TREE. Our energy system gets
disturbed, goes "zzzt" by responding to the Root memory as if it
was happening over again for real, rather than to what is actually
happening out there now. As Gary holds out his hands and says
"Imagine there's a rat right there now!" Becky's energy system is
going "zzzt". That "zzzt" is not in response to a friendly guy like
Gary standing there with his hands held out. That "zzzt" is in
response to something that happened long ago and that scared her
in a big way.

E is for Experience.

When Energy goes "zzzt" we get one or more of the following


Experiences: an emotion, like feeling afraid, angry, ashamed or
whatever; a change in physiology such as tension, nausea or
sweating; a firmly held emotionally laden belief; or a behavior such
as running away, hitting out, reaching for chocolate or biting nails.

For Becky as her Energy system goes "zzzt" in the presence of the
imaginary rat she experiences:

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7 an emotion she calls fear;

7 her physiology expresses the "zzzt" as sweaty palms, heart


pounding;

7 the strongly-held belief "I am afraid of rats";

7 the behavior of running away.

The TREE chain for Becky is a Trunk, the word rat, which matches
to a Root (unknown past experience) that sets off the Energy
"zzzt" that she Experiences as fear, sweaty palms and running
away.

Now how do we use this TREE model to help craft the words to use
in EFT? Well because the T, the R, the E and the E are all connected
we can craft our words around any of them and get to the "zzzt".
When Becky came up on the stage Gary started with the most
obvious and crafted the words around the trigger "rat" as in "Even
though I have this challenge with rats..." Becky'sEE's, her 0-10
intensity level changed, her Experience was different and so Gary
brought in a real live rat as a test: was the TREE chain still linked?
Did the T trigger still set off the chain and result in a problem
Experience? Well we all saw Becky happily stroking the rat and
having it lick her finger. The test showed that the TREE was gone.

Gary could equally well have started by crafting words around her
Experience as in "Even though my palms are sweaty and my heart
pounding..." (This is what we do in Chasing the Pain) or her
behavior as in "Even though I want to run away..."

Very often starting with the Trunk (trigger) or the Experience will
be sufficient to clear the unwanted TREE and (as with Becky's case)
after tapping a few rounds for the Trigger we can test and the chain

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is no longer set off. Sometimes the process seems to get stuck and
then we need to go searching for the Root (what we may call the
core issue).

So here are some simple guiding points for clearing unwanted


TREEs. Start with crafting some words around the Trunk (trigger)
or the Experience as it happens in the present and do several
rounds of EFT, checking for further aspects and getting more
specific after each round, until the problem is no longer a problem.
If the problem "sticks" then look for the Roots or past experiences
and tap for those until they are no longer a problem. Then come
back to the present and test: does the Trigger still give rise to the
problem Experience?

TREEs can also generate further trees. The Experience can


feedback and act as a Trigger for a secondary TREE and so create
an unwanted forest. Thus an emotional energy disturbance that is
experienced as resentment can trigger further roots of resentment
and set off further waves of "zzzt"s. This will be the subject of a
future article.

Gwyneth Moss

Part 2

In my first article in this series I introduced you to the TREE


metaphor as means of navigating through an EFT session. The
Trunk of the TREE is the trigger, whatever is out there or imagined
or remembered to be out there. The Trunk connects to the Root,
the emotional event of the past, which may be consciously
remembered or may be a hidden or implicit memory. The Root sets
off the energy disturbance or "zzzt", the first E of TREE. The "zzzt"

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is then manifested as an Experience (emotion, belief, behavior or
physiology) the second E of TREE.

Forests of unwanted TREEs are created when the E of experience


itself becomes a trigger and creates more trees. For example, if in
response to some trigger (somebody shouting say) the experience
is a particular behavior, like nail biting, the nail biting itself then
becomes the trigger for emotions and beliefs about nail biting.
We've all heard people say "I hate myself when I bite my nails" and
of course "I hate myself" then sets off more emotions, beliefs and
behaviors. This happens because our memories are stored in our
memory banks with emotional tags. When we feel a particular
emotion, memories with a similar tag are accessed. This is why
when we feel happy we can remember all the good times and when
we feel sad then its like life has always been nothing but sadness.

So it goes like this: something triggers frustration; frustration


triggers nail biting; nail biting triggers "I hate myself because I
can't stop this"; "I hate myself" triggers memories of failure;
memories of failure triggers tears and so on. If these chains
continue uninterrupted then this is how unwanted forests spread.
These secondary trees can generate lots of emotional arousal that
obscures what it's all about. Thankfully with EFT we can clear many
of those secondary trees to get to the heart of the matter. Here is
an example.

Example: Clearing Trees to get to the Root

Kay (not her real name) is a top level manager in a large


organization and was off work with stress. She came to me with a
whole forest of emotions: confused, tearful, feeling out-of-control
and not able to find a reason for her behavior other than her own
miserable shortcomings. Kay was ready to tell me about everything

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that was wrong with her and all the woes of her life. Rather than
catalogue her many ills I asked her when this episode had started
or got worse and she said that she had been off work since a recent
board meeting in which her department had been heavily criticized
despite good performance in difficult circumstances. Since then she
had fallen apart.

We started by tapping on her general manifestations of emotion


"Even though I'm tearful since the board meeting...." and "Even
though I wake up shaking since the board meeting..." after each
round she was calmer, we were reducing the secondary trees but
had not yet got to the central tree. When she had calmed down
enough to do so, I asked her to imagine being in the board meeting
and to ask herself: "What was the worst thing about that?" She sat
quietly and then said strongly "It's not fair!" so I asked her "What
does its-not-fair remind you of? What was happening the first time
you ever felt that its-not-fair feeling?"

We were rewarded with a memory, a Root. When she was 12 her


mother threw her alcoholic father out of the house. On a rare visit
to Dad, just before her birthday, he promised her a watch next time
if she was a good girl. Well she was a very good girl but Dad never
gave her the watch and a few weeks after her birthday she saw her
mother wearing a watch and concluded "That's mine, it's not fair".
We tapped around the specifics of what she saw and heard. Then I
brought in a reframe, referring to her mother: "what does a single
mother bringing up 4 children on her own and holding down two
jobs need a watch for? No, a twelve year old needs a watch much,
much more." This had Kay laughing out loud as she tapped. I then
brought her back to the boardroom meeting and found that her
emotion had gone right down, and out came a change of perception
that 30 minutes ago would have seemed a miracle: "So what if they

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criticize, I'm retiring in two years and it's going to be good to take a
backseat and wind down and plan to do what I enjoy."

This is an example of how tapping on the experience of the


emotions can reduce the secondary trees and so allow the main root
to emerge for specific tapping and permanent clearing. Had we
worked on her many tearful feelings Kay would no doubt have slept
better but the "It's not fair" would have been re-triggered by the
next obstacle she encountered. Kay made a contribution to the
Quotes page of my website she said: "A lifelong trauma has been
unlocked and unblocked. I can see myself on top of a mountain and
there are lots of roads ahead."

Gwyneth Moss
EFT Master

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3. Weeding your Emotional Garden with EFT

Hi Everyone,

EFT Master Gwyneth Moss expands on a useful EFT metaphor and


details her pursuit of a core issue. Note how she tailors some off-
color language to inject humor into the session (she knew the client
well).

Hugs, Gary

By Gwyneth Moss, EFT Master

Just as our physical health requires cultivation through good


nutrition, rest and exercise, our emotional health requires us to use
our imagination and thinking skills and to de-clutter ourselves of
emotional baggage. The past is to be learnt from, not lived in.
Maintenance of our emotional gardens is a process of weeding and
planting and EFT is an ideal gardening tool.

We all have our emotional garden and like any gardener we choose
the look and feel of the place and what we wish to have growing
there. Is it formal and structured, or wild and rambling? Is it a
practical garden of fruits and vegetables or a decorative place of
delicate flowers? Is it wide spacious lawns or a crowded riot of
colour and variety. Or is it all of these? An old friend of mine who’s
garden is scarcely distinguishable from nature once said “One
person’s weed is another person’s wildflower” Only the gardener
can decide what plant belongs in their garden and what plant does
not.

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Gardens need tending, they need care and maintenance. The earth
must be watered and fed with good nutrients. There must be light
and air. Plants need space to grow or may need pruning when they
grow too fast. And of course we need to pull up the weeds.

Those who garden will know that sometimes you grasp a weed, pull
gently and the whole thing comes up roots and all and doesn’t grow
back. Other times we pull on the weed and the stem breaks off
leaving the root in the ground and the weed will grow back again.
Some weeds we can’t shift at all by pulling and need to dig down to
get them out. Some weeds protect themselves with thorns or have
other unpleasant ways of making us keep our distance.

So it is with EFT. Many of us have experienced applying a few


simple rounds of EFT to a problem, without any questions as to its
cause or origin and it disappears never to return. Becky and the
fear of rats featured in The EFT Course on DVD is a classic
example. Or we may apply EFT and the symptoms clear
temporarily only to return a few hours or days later. And of course
there are those surprising times when EFT has no effect on the
symptom at all and we need to dig deeper with detective’s
questions to find the core issue (the root) that supports the
symptom.

Soraya came on one of my EFT workshops and used EFT to give


temporary relief to her back pain and was pleased with the results.

Recently, she called me hours before a planned meeting to say


that her back had let her down, she was lying on the floor, mad
with frustration and pain, and predicted that she would be for the
next 48 hours. I started suggesting how she might tap to help
herself and then found that it was easier to start tapping with her
than to describe to her what to do.

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We started with “Even though I’m so frustrated that my back has
let me down, deep, deep down I’m all right” and as we tapped for
frustration the emotion shifted to aloneness. She said “It’s about
being alone, so profoundly and deeply and awfully alone” so we
tapped with that referring to “oceans of aloneness in my back”.
This led to a body feeling of blackness around her navel and she
said “I think this is something about my birth”. I asked her to
guess what is was about her birth that gave her that blackness and
she told me that her mother is from a culture that gives a high
value to sons and to the mothers’ of sons and that her mother must
have shown extreme disappointment when her eyes first met her
daughter’s eyes.

At this stage, not wanting to get too serious and knowing my client
well I went for humor and offered “Even though when my mother
first saw her baby she didn’t see a willy, she was looking for a
willy and she didn’t see a willy, there had to be a willy for Mother,
tough shit Mother, we don’t always get what we want, its me
mother, you’ve got me” and “Even though mother wanted a willy
and mother’s family wanted a willy and mother’s country wanted a
willy and mother’s culture wanted a willy, tough shit Mother, tough
shit family, tough shit culture, you’ve got me, yes me” and “Even
though Mother gave me life and wanted me to live it on her terms
and her family’s terms and her culture’s terms, tough shit mother,
its my life now and I’m living it my way”. By this stage we are both
laughing and Soraya has found a completely new perspective on her
birth, her mother and her relationship to her mother’s culture. Her
voice has lost the blaming frustration and the wining sadness and is
full and clear. I ask her what her back is like now and she says
“lighter and happier” and then she says: “that would have taken
years of painful psychotherapy, how on earth did we get there in 10
minutes?”

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Did we get to the root? I don’t know, time will tell and I do know
that we got much further than simply tapping with “this sharp
pain”. Soraya reported the next day that her back was much less
stiff and more fluid and that her roommate reported that she looked
much better.

Gwyneth Moss

EFT Master

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4. Creative Uses of the EFT Movie Technique
Hi Everyone,

As EFT Master Gwyneth Moss of the UK says, "The EFT Movie


Technique is a valuable and trustworthy workhorse with many
applications." In this 4 part article she explores its many features.
This is a solid series worthy of study by everyone.

Hugs, Gary

Article 1 of 4: Movie Technique – Childhood Memory

The Movie Technique is a core technique of EFT, a valuable and


trustworthy workhorse with many applications. It is the most
important EFT Technique to take away from your Level One
training. This series of articles illustrates the use of the Movie
Technique for a person is troubled by a difficult memory; for an
everyday challenge; for an anxiety about a specific future situation
and for a very intense fear with no apparent cause.

In this first article, Andy Gross one of my Level 3 students, shows


us here how to use the movie technique effectively and respectfully
for Mary who is troubled by a difficult memory and I have
interspersed my observations as a commentary.

When Mary (not her real name) first presented her ‘problem’ she
stated that she had never been able to tell anyone in full what had
happened and she had only ever told two people and then not in
full. The event occurred when she was six years old (Mary is now 40
years) and she could only refer to it as ‘My step father did
something unpleasant’. Her SUD (level of emotional upset) was a 10
out of 10. She was visibly distressed.

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Now at this stage many of us will be making assumptions about
Mary and what happened when she was six and what her step
father did. You will notice that even if Andy did make those
assumptions he did not at this stage ask any questions about what
happened. She was visibly distressed and his first priority was to
help her to be calmer and not to upset her further. EFT shatters
that old assumption that therapy has to be long drawn-out painful –
as EFT helpers we aim to help quickly and as painlessly as possible.

This was her first introduction to EFT so I explained to her it was


like acupuncture for psychology only we don’t use needles but we
tap with our own fingers on certain meridian points and that allows
the release of blocked and stuck emotions. I showed her what I
meant by demonstrating tapping on myself and showing her how I
had used EFT myself to feel calmer about something that had
worried me.

This is a really nice way to introduce EFT. It can be difficult to


explain EFT just with words but people get it when they have an
experience. Andy realizes that Mary is in a highly aroused
emotional state and is probably not going to listen to his
explanation. But people do need some understanding of the
process before we start asking them to tap themselves so Andy
neatly solves this problem by tapping on himself to show her what
he is going to ask her to do and telling her a story about how it
helped him personally.

I let her know that if she was uncomfortable with saying what had
happened we could deal with it in different ways. I told her she
didn’t have to tell me anything she did not want to tell me and
could make what happened as like a video clip and give it a title and

24
we could work with that, or we could ‘tell the story’ emphasizing
that at any time she got upset we would stop and tap until the
emotion settled. I told her this was not about enduring the incident
again as once was enough! She decided that she just wanted to
give it a name and didn’t want to tell her story.

EFT is to me the most respectful and person-centered of therapies.


We can allow the person privacy and still help them. Andy gives an
excellent pre-frame by telling her that she does not have to endure
the incident again and that she does not have to tell him anything
that she does not feel comfortable telling him.

We began by giving the movie clip the title – ‘My Step Father Did
Something Unpleasant’ and tapped with the title:
“Even though my step father did something unpleasant I truly and
deeply accept myself” And “Even though my step father did
something unpleasant when I was six years old I truly and deeply
accept myself” We did a round three times and the 10 came down
to 8. We continued tapping and I changed the words to:
“When I was six my step father was unpleasant to me”
Mary said “He didn’t do something to me he did something in front
of me to someone else”. I established that she didn’t know who the
other person was and that what her step father did was wrong and
she knew it was wrong. SUD still about 8.

The safest (and easiest) way to use EFT is to simply reflect back a
person’s exact words through the EFT process. We use their exact
words because these are the words their deeper mind chose and
therefore the words that best tune in the emotion so that the
tapping can clear it. Counselors are trained to paraphrase and
change the words or offer their own words. In EFT it is important to
use the person’s exact words. Here Andy is working in the dark as

25
he does not at this stage know what the incident is – his
assumption that something was done to Mary is an assumption that
we would all make, however it is off the mark and Mary tells him so.
It is important to let the person you are tapping with know that if
the words you are asking them to repeat do not fit for them then
they can change them.

We continued tapping: “Even though my step father did something


unpleasant in front of me when I was six…” and “Even though my
step father did something to someone else that was unpleasant I
was only six and I knew that what my step father did was wrong…”
SUD was now down to 5. I asked what makes it a five. She then
began to tell her story. I let her tell it and kept checking for verbal
and non verbal clues as to any change in emotions.

Much of the skill of EFT is in asking simple questions. Andy asks a


great question “What is it about that that makes it a 5?” This is a
really good question to get more specific which still gives the person
a let out if they don’t want to tell the story - Mary responds by
telling him what happened. Very often as the intensity of emotion
subsides with tapping a person who previously declared that they
did not want to tell the story starts to do so, spontaneously, without
being asked. Andy watches her closely as she tells it and stops to
tap when the emotion rises.

She told me her step father had a shop and they were going to the
shop in his car. He had been drinking and was drunk. This was not
uncommon. She got to ‘approaching the shop’ and then her SUD’s
changed. She went between 8 and 10. We stopped and tapped:
“Even though I’m six and my step father is driving whilst drunk…”
and “Even though as a six year old I know this is wrong…” and “I’m
just a six year old passenger with my drunk step father…”

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After a couple of rounds her SUD came down to a 4. She was happy
to continue with the story. We backed up to a point with no
emotional attachment and she carried on. We got to where an old
man walked in front of her step father’s car as he was going to park
when the crescendo rose………“Even though the old man stepped out
in front of the car….he should have looked where he was going”

After a couple of rounds the SUD came down to 3. We backed up


and continued the story. She got to where her step father got out of
the car and punched the old man who fell to the floor. Another
crescendo, stopped the story and continued tapping:
“Even though the old man didn’t look where he was going….”
“He had the audacity to step into my step fathers parking space…”
“I’m just a six year old watching my drunken stepfather loose
control”
“My stepfather lost his temper and the old man found it”
“My stepfather punched the old man”
“He stepped in my stepfathers space”
“I had to watch this unpleasant event”
“I was just a six year old girl there was nothing I could do.”

The SUD came down to 3 and a little laughter. She continued with
the story. We stopped a few more times for different crescendo’s
(when she saw blood where the old man hit his head on the
pavement, The feeling of being helpless, Running into the shop
where her stepfather’s girlfriend was (not her mother!) where she
screamed for help and called for an ambulance). During the later
part I included some positive linguistics during the tapping

“I wonder how many other six year olds would have known what to
do”

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“‘How many six year olds when really scared would have got an
ambulance”
“‘I know adults that would have fainted at the sight of blood”
“‘How brave of a six year old to do what was right”

Eventually she was able to ‘tell her story’ all the way through
without any crescendo’s and her final SUD was a 2. I asked what
was it that made it a 2? she said “because I can’t believe that the
feelings have gone”!

There are a number of other issues that Mary is having continuing


sessions for. She had a rough time in her childhood and this session
is only the tip of the iceberg. As a first introduction to EFT she was
amazed that something she had held for so many years could have
gone so quickly (The session was about 1 hour). I saw her recently
for more treatment and asked if there had been any further issues
with the old man who didn’t look where he was going. She laughed
and said the emotion of that memory had completely gone!! Happy
Tapper!!

Andy did a really good job with the Movie Technique so let me
summarize the steps involved.

First, isolate a specific event. You can do this by asking “If what
happened was a video clip how long would it play for?” If the
answer is longer than minutes then ask if there was a worst bit and
how long that would be. Then treat each bad bit as a single video
clip.

Second, give a name to the video clip and tap on the name. I ask
“If that was on a DVD disc what name would you write on the disc
to identify that specifically? Here you don’t want to use a general

28
word like “Betrayal” which could expand to include any and every
betrayal. “Betrayal by John” or “Betrayal at the Gym” is specific.
Ask them to say the name and get a number or some other
measure for how much that gets to them. Use EFT for a couple of
rounds with the name of the event until the SUDs (Subjective Units
of Distress) number is decreased.

Third, ask them to narrate the movie, tapping whenever intensity


rises. Start the narration before the bad stuff at an ordinary
moment and tell them that they are to stop and freeze frame if they
feel their emotion rising. Watch them closely because they will try
to tough it out. At any stopping point tap with whatever is
happening at that point of the story and use their exact words.
Back up to before the stopping point and start the narration again
checking that they are now ok at that point. Continue in this
manner through the movie.

Fourth, ask them to tell it again to test that there are no further
aspects. Telling the story again without intense emotion gives the
person confidence that something has indeed changed (the story
may still be unpleasant but it no longer has the effect that it did
previously). And the helper gains the confidence that all the
aspects have been cleared and that the emotions of that specific
event will no longer be triggered in the present.

You may use this technique for a specific memory that is at the root
of a problem, often a memory from childhood, or for a memory of
an incidence of pain or panic or for a fictional, made-up event that
would be fitting context for a problem or for a future event that
gives rise to anxiety such as an interview. In the next article is an
example of using the movie technicque for an agoraphobic.

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Article 2: Movie Technique – Present Fear

Here is a second example of the Movie Technique from my student


Penny Crawford. The example in the first article dealt effectively
with a difficult childhood memory, in this example Penny starts by
making a movie out of a current problem.

My client G asked me if I could help him as he has been suffering


from agoraphobia for about 8 years and cannot go down the road
alone. He would suffer a panic attack and always needs someone to
come with him, in which case he is absolutely ok to go anywhere.

G knew about meridians so I began the session by explaining how


EFT had developed from understandings from Chinese Acupuncture.
Then I explained about how we experience an emotion and that it is
seen as “disturbance” of the mind-body energy system. I told him
about how EFT tunes in and clears the excess ZZZZ of strong
emotions and severs the emotional link between an event in the
past and the present time. I explained how we have neuron
pathways which the brain will frequent more and more often as a
habitual pattern so that it becomes easier and easier to get certain
actions, sounds, etc associated with certain feelings. G was quite
happy with my explanation and eager to find out what we could do
to help him.

Penny builds a bridge to EFT with her explanation here. G knows


about meridians so she tells him that EFT has its roots in
acupuncture. He is a thinking man so she gives a rational and
reasoned explanation. In the previous example the person was
distressed so a visual example was more accessible for them.

30
I showed him the tapping sequence and then asked him how he felt
when he thought about going down the road. I asked him to make
a video clip of the last time he had attempted to go down the road
alone and we tapped for a round on “Even though I can’t go down
the road alone…” Then starting from the safety of home I asked
him to narrate the move and to stop and freeze frame as soon as he
got an emotional response. He got to the bottom of his road and
stopped and told me he felt “a fear of panic”. He said he felt like he
was going to “fall off the earth and I can’t feel my body properly”
He scaled it at 8. We tapped on “Even though I feel frightened that
I am going to panic and fall off the earth I truly and deeply love and
accept myself” we went through the sequence and he went down to
a 5.

During the second round he interrupted me and told me he


remembered the first time it happened, which was 8 years ago in
Brighton. He had a hangover and was walking down the road
feeling full of remorse and guilt and suddenly “out of nowhere” this
feeling of panic and fear of leaving his body overcame him. We
tapped on “Even though I panicked and felt like I was going to leave
my body” which he scaled at 8. Three rounds of tapping on that
brought it down to a 1….

Often when we use the Movie technique to make a movie of a


current symptom or problem it brings to consciousness a relevant
memory. Penny handles this earlier memory effectively by simply
reflecting back G’s words, and then brings G back to the movie they
are working with. It is fine to go with earlier memories as they
arise however it is part of the role of the helper in managing the
process to remember to come back to where you started and not to
keep jumping from one thing to another.

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We went back to his movie of going to the shops and he stopped by
the wall at the bottom of the road and felt 7 for “Even though the
wall seems ominous and threatening …what if it falls on me? ….it
feels like it won’t protect me…which went to a 2 after 2 rounds,
which he felt quite ok with. He carried on down to the main road
and felt that if there were cars parked there he would feel protected
by them. He then begun to feel light-headed, which he said would
precede a panic attack. This he scaled at 5 and we tapped on “Even
though being on the main road makes me feel lightheaded and I am
worried I will get a panic attack” which went to a 3 after 2 rounds.
He then said he felt worried about what people would think about
him if he was behaving strangely and that he felt a dread in his
stomach about getting a panic attack. Scaled at 8 we tapped on
“Even though I am worried about what people might think and I
dread getting a panic attack. … Worried what people think….will I
look really stupid…..what will I do?.... how will I behave?...what if I
cant get home again?...which went down to 0 really quickly after
2nd round.

Working with the movie brings up the aspects of his experience of


panic attacks and his beliefs about them. Penny again reflects back
his words and deals with each aspect as it arises. She keeps going
till they get to a 0.

He then said he felt odd because he couldn’t really feel anything


and that confused him quite a lot. He tried really hard to get the
feeling of dread back and was rather put out that he couldn’t, he
thought he was doing something wrong so I reassured him that EFT
would have that effect and that actually it was simply unfamiliar for
him to be without the dread which had been his companion for so
long. He was ok to carry on. I asked him what actually came up
for him if he thought about the panic and he told me that the first

32
time it happened preceded a nervous breakdown/psychotic episode
which meant he felt suicidal and that he was terrified of getting that
way again. So his biggest fear was actually fear of panicking
because he associated it with the nervous breakdown. He had
taken quite a long time to recover and had to have medication.

Next thing we tapped on was (His words) “Even though I am scared


of breaking down and going mad and feeling suicidal I truly and
deeply love and accept myself just as I am right now” He scaled at
10 on that and after 3 rounds went to 3….I am really scared….I
might go mad….I might break down….my head might go into
confusion….what if I went mad?....what would I do then?..... He
then said “well then I would have rely on my parents and be a
perpetual invalid and scaled right up to a 10. So we tapped on (His
words) “Even though the thought of “that” happening means my
life would not be worth living I truly and deeply love and accept
myself” after which we got to a point where he got confused again,
broke off the tapping to say he couldn’t actually feel anything again
( I took that to be a 0) and that it was weird and that his brain felt
“Bluuuuggg” (his word). He scaled that at a 10 (didn’t like it at all)
so we tapped on “Even though my brain feels bluuuugg I truly and
deeply love and accept myself anyway just as I am.. Went to 0 in
one round and again he said he felt confused without the bad
feelings.

I decided that as he had reached 0 on several aspects we had


probably done enough for the first session and just wanted to check
out the statements he had tapped on earlier to make sure they still
scaled low so went back to “I feel light headed and dread panicking
when I am on the main road,” which he didn’t feel anything about.
Then he said “I am scared I will get a nervous breakdown like I did
before and feel suicidal” which also didn’t bring up any feelings.

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And lastly he said “relying on my parents and being a perpetual
invalid “and that didn’t bring up any feelings either.

Using the earlier set up statements is a good way to test. These


are the words that earlier in the session expressed this man’s
greatest fears and now he can say them without significant
emotion. This gives him confidence that something has changed
and gives Penny confidence that those aspects that were worked on
with EFT have held. People who have had fear and dread as a
constant companion can find it difficult to remember what it is like
to be without them and change needs to happen in bite sized
chunks so Penny sensibly concludes the session at this point and
sets him some tapping homework.

I told him that maybe not having feelings around these things felt
really confusing because he was so used to them being there and
that he would get used to the “peace” inside. I gave him some
homework to do, which was to continue to tap every day on
anything and everything that makes him feel anxious, regardless of
how silly he might think it is and to make a note of the scale and
how much he could bring it down – I asked him to do a minimum of
three rounds per set up statement regardless of confusion or
anything else he might be feeling.

Feedback from G: He enjoyed the tapping and said he felt real


happiness when the set up statements went from high down to low
or nothing even though it confused him because he normally
avoided thinking about it because it would make him feel worse. He
also said that I had made him feel real optimism that this can help
him to improve, and to put the past behind him. He had always
labeled his fear as a mental illness and now could see that maybe it
was a habit that could be changed. He was very excited at the

34
possibilities he could see opening up for himself and couldn’t wait to
pay me!!

Notice the cognitive shift from G as he turns the identity statement


of mental illness into the behavior of a habit which can be changed.
EFT can be part of that change and this session will be a beginning
as there will be many more movies for G to put through the EFT
process. Very often people who have had a breakdown are carrying
the trauma of the breakdown and despite their recovery everyday
things trigger those breakdown memories, they become afraid of it
happening again and their world becomes restricted. It’s a good
starting point to use EFT like this to work on clearing the memories
of the breakdown before looking for the earlier events that lead to
the breakdown.

The use of the Movie Technique here was very similar to using it for
a childhood memory. First make the movie and give it a name,
then use EFT on the title of the movie, then step through the movie
using EFT with whatever aspects arise.

Article 3: Movie Technique – Future Anxiety

In this third Movie Technique example I’ll show you how we can use
the Movie Technique when we are getting anxious about a specific
event in the future.

Peter is a confident and capable man who knows that he is good at


his job and also knows that his manager and co-workers know that
and that it is generally recognized throughout the organization that
he deserves promotion. Peter had been working night shift for
several years and he desperately wanted that promotion as it would

35
allow him to work day shifts. However Peter was terrified of
interviews. As he told me about his situation I could sense how
desperate and scared an otherwise well balanced and confident man
was becoming. His interview was the following week and he had
already convinced himself that there was no hope. “I just can’t say
anything and I look so stupid and last time I nearly cried”.

I asked Peter to make a movie in his mind about the upcoming


interview and to give it a name – he called it “Interview Failure” and
said it gave him 10 out of 10 for anxiety and that was like a
churning in his stomach.

He had come to me because a friend had told him about EFT but to
him it sounded weird and could not possibly help – and he was
desperate. So I told him that yes EFT is weird and it does look daft
and it does feel silly but there was only the two of us to know and I
wouldn’t tell anyone. I suggested “how about we just do it because
afterwards you will be able to ask better questions and I will give
better answers”. With that we started tapping: “Even though this
interview is giving me stomach churning anxiety I know that I really
am good at my job”. We did a couple of rounds of shortcut EFT and
he looked at me surprised. “It feels different, my stomach isn’t
churning and I almost wonder what I’m making a fuss about.”

Well something had changed but I wanted to be really sure and


check for all aspects. I asked him to start to narrate his movie of
the future that he had called “Interview Failure” and immediately
he changed the title to “Interview Hope”. He chose to narrate it in
the first person and we decided to start as he was walking to the
management suite in the office building. I asked him to be in the
movie and tell me what his body was doing. He said “My heart is
beating too fast and my breathing is shallow”. So I simply repeated

36
his words back to him through the EFT shortcut process “Even
though my heart is beating too fast and my breathing is shallow I
know that I am really good at my job and I know my boss knows
that too.” We then backed up in the movie and this time he felt
calm and curious as he walked.

The next difficult bit was sitting waiting for his name to be called
and his thoughts racing so: “Even though my thoughts are racing as
I’m sitting waiting to hear my name I know that I am absolutely
superb at my job and that my boss’s boss knows it too”. Again we
backed up and again he found himself calm and curious.

We stepped through the movie and each time he found a difficult or


anxious bit I simply reflected his words back to him as we tapped
and he added the positives, I would simply pause after saying “I
know that….”

“Even though he is looking at me I know that I am capable, efficient


and effective”
“Even though I’m scared I’ll forget everything I know that I know
everything without thinking about it”
“Even though I’m scared my words won’t come I know that I know
my job inside out”
“Even though I’m scared I’ll blush I know that they know I know
my job inside out”
“Even though he will try and catch me out I know that I can answer
any question about this job”

Each time we backed up the movie and ran through the previous
sticking point I saw Peter becoming his normal, confident self,
articulate, curious and with a gentle humor. Soon we could run
through the whole interview movie with calm curiosity and Peter

37
smiled and said “I know what this is about”. He then told me about
an audition for a school play in which he had madly fancied the
female lead and was desperate to get the part of the male lead so
that he could kiss her. He forgot his lines after she muffed hers
but she had blamed him and laughed at him and he had been
mortified and never tried acting again.

Peter left me with my ABC of EFT sheet (email me if you want a


copy hello@emotional-health.co.uk ) but said that the problem was
completely gone and done with and he would not be seeing me
again or doing anything so weird!

Article 4: Movie Technique – Fictional Movie

In this forth article I describe how I used a fictional movie as an


indirect way of addressing a very severe phobia. Many of you will
have experienced either personally, or for others, the one-minute-
wonder effect of EFT for phobias. Years ago, the very first time I
introduced EFT to another person; it was for a spider phobia. The
phobia disappeared completely in 2 minutes to the amazement of
both of us! However some phobias are not that simple.

Elaine came on my EFT Foundations workshop and volunteered as a


demonstration subject. She said she had a fear of spiders and
specifically the “T” word. Well fear was an understatement. Even
thinking about the T word put her right into a state of blind terror
and though tapping calmed her somewhat EFT was having little
effect on her response and she startled with sheer panic when I
held my hand with the fingers pointing down. After quite a few
rounds of tapping she made some progress and was able to say the

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T word: Tarantula and amused the class by shouting it several
times and could even picture one in her imagination. However her
fear was still intact because when I showed her a photograph of a
tarantula the old terror was triggered once again. This was not the
10 minute demonstration I had been expecting but served to show
the class that EFT is not magic.

Later that day I found some privacy for myself and Elaine and
realized that we would have to be more indirect than going through
the obvious aspects about spiders as even working on the phobia
seemed to be increasing her general arousal level. Elaine was keen
to keep working despite the lack of one-minute-wonder success and
she is to be commended for not giving up when the result was not
immediate.

I asked her if she could remember any experience in her life which
could be the root of this fear or could explain it and she responded
that she could not. So I took a different tack and asked her to
imagine herself to be the director of a fictional movie in which a fear
of tarantulas would make sense. That movie could be set in
another country, in another time and the actors could be a different
age and sex. Elaine invented a movie about a teenage boy in tudor
times, hundreds of years ago and gave it the title ‘Death in the
Night’. As she began to construct the movie in her mind I could
see she was getting distressed so we started with several rounds of
silent tapping.

In EFT we use words to tune in emotion and tapping to clear or


calm emotion. When the emotion is strongly present we do not
need words to tune it in and silent tapping can help a person to
calm down enough to continue. We then started to sneak up on the
problem “Even though I’ve made this movie and there’s some very

39
scary bits in it….” And after a few rounds we got to tapping for the
title of the movie ‘Death in the Night’ until Elaine felt comfortable to
narrate her movie.

She started with the opening scene where the young man who has
had to leave his home and family is alone in a straw hut in the
night. Then the tarantulas sneak into the hut. At this moment her
fear rose visibly so we started tapping with “Even though they
started to come under the door…” and “Even though there were
hundreds of them….” Then to “Even though they crawl up on the
bed…” It took several rounds of tapping to clear each step through
the movie as she would hit the top of the scale on each one. But
clear they did and after each we rewound to the beginning and
started the narration again. I have to say that this took a great
deal of bravery from Elaine and sometimes she could only have me
tap on her fingers.

Then we got to the very worst part: “Even though they crawl onto
his face, I am here now and I accept myself” this took several
rounds of tapping and at one point Elaine said she could sense
Tarantulas all around her and that they were leaving and leaving
her with a sense of release. We continued bit by bit through the
movie and right through the death scene of the poor boy.
Eventually Elaine was able to narrate the whole movie without panic
and felt a huge feeling of release, lightness and freedom.

Calling Elaine today she said: “It is really laughable to think that I
had this huge phobia then because now I have a completely normal
reaction just like anyone else. I would not like to have a tarantula
on my hand but who would? I feel a real sense of freedom and am
so glad that I persisted with EFT. The fictional movie was an ideal

40
way to gain my freedom because I neither want nor need to know
the source of that old fear.”

If you use the technique of the fictional movie then you simply use
it just as you do for a real memory. However we do need to be
very clear that it is fiction and that the imagined events are simply
a means of tuning in the emotional disturbance so that it can be
cleared. If we get too close to reality we could be in danger of
creating a memory where there was none. To create a fiction you
can change place and time all that needs to fit is the emotion. Your
test is first to be able to narrate the fiction and then to be able to
face what was previously triggering.

To conclude then, The Movie Technique is our all purpose EFT


workhorse. We can use it for difficult memories, for daily
challenges, for future situations and in a fictional manner when we
just don’t know or its all too scary.

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5. Emotion and Perception: EFT makes it a
Two Way Street

Hi Everyone,

Read this interesting concept by EFT Master Gwyneth Moss from the
UK. She says, "In this article we will be considering how, with EFT,
the "emotion follows perception" idea is really a two-way street and
thus we often see the reverse, namely, that "perception follows
emotion."

Hugs, Gary

By Gwyneth Moss, EFT Master

Aaron Beck, one of the founding fathers of cognitive behavioral


therapy, said "emotion follows perception" meaning that the way we
feel about a situation is a result of the way we perceive it. In this
article we will be considering how, with EFT, the "emotion follows
perception" idea is really a two-way street and thus we often see
the reverse, namely, that "perception follows emotion".

We can all perceive a situation one way and find ourselves in the
grip of strong emotions that then change as soon as we get more
information and a fresh perception. Yesterday I saw a couple of
teenagers nosing around and under my car and felt a surge of anger
tinged with fear. My car had once been vandalized and now here
were the culprits right in front of my house. I ran over and as I was
about to shout, one of the boys looked up at me and pointing said:
"our kitten, she ran away". Cowering under the car was a smoky
grey ball of fluff. My perception of the situation changed in an

42
instant and my emotions shifted from anger and fear to a cocktail of
compassion and kindness. I quickly fetched a blanket to help the
boys rescue their frightened pet.

Our brains are meaning-making organs. Whatever information


comes in through the channels of our many senses, our brains are
seeking for patterns that match to previous experience and then
using that "meaning" to create perceptions or expectations of the
future. Emotion follows these expectations. This is the process that
allows us to know our world. However, like the small print on
investment sales, "past performance is no guide to future returns".
When we get emotionally aroused it is like our attention becomes
locked on a narrow view and we fix on the emotional expectation
(what happened in the past) and block out the bigger picture (what
is actually happening now).

When teaching EFT workshops I often use the metaphor that, as


therapists we are like guide dogs (seeing-eye dog) with a blind
person. It's not the guide dog's job to decide where to go: it's the
guide dog's job to get across the roads safely. To give an example I
recently saw a woman, Sue, who reacted with massive resentment
whenever she heard her sister's voice on the phone. Sue had
avoided her sister for most of her adult life. However, the two of
them were now trying to sort out care for their elderly father and so
these calls were becoming more frequent. Each evening Sue would
find herself becoming increasingly anxious, anxiety that she
tranquilized with red wine, as she anticipated her sister calling. In
an agitated manner that was loaded with frustration Sue told me:
"She is such a bitch, a prime bitch, she uses that tone with me, like
she's putting me down, treating me like a baby, and I start to boil
with resentment and I don't hear a word she says and we just can't
get anywhere".

43
I introduced EFT to Sue and we did a round with "Even though my
sister's voice makes me boil..." As we finished tapping I paused and
said to Sue "take a nice breath and notice what comes to you." Sue
relaxed slightly and said, "She's been a tax officer too long my
sister, she's too used to telling people what to do, she probably
doesn't know how to be gentle. If I wasn't so hurt I'd feel sorry for
her." Sue's perception had changed and her 0-10 intensity had
come down to a 7 of hurt from off-the-scale anger.

So we did another round with "Even though it hurts when my sister


uses her put-down tax-office voice..." and again I asked her to take
a breath and notice what comes. Sue now looked much calmer and
sat back in her chair. She told me that when she was 11 and her
sister 16, their mother had died and their father slid into deep
depression. Sue's sister had taken on the running of the household
even though her four younger siblings had not made that an easy
job. We tapped on several specific events of the time, of feeling
scared, feeling humiliated and feeling guilty and after each round I
paused and gave Sue an opening to voice her thoughts and
feelings.

Watching and listening to her it was clear that her perception of her
sister was changing. From a narrow focus of "she's a prime bitch"
Sue was opening up to a bigger picture, understanding how it was
for her sister when their mother died, quite spontaneously she said:
"Poor lost thing, I feel like I want to give her a hug". As Sue's
emotions shifted from anger to hurt to nervousness to guilt and
finally to warmth so did the way she talked about her sister. The
words she used changed; the things she noticed and remembered
came with more detail, her whole perception of this woman she had
known all her life was no longer narrowly focused.

44
Sue returned the following week: she and her sister had been on
the phone for an hour long call during which they had both laughed
and cried. Sue had found it surprisingly easy to respond to her
sister's natural bossiness with humor and they were now working
together to find a place for their father.

An old blues man from Mississippi once told me "it's not the notes,
lady, anyone can play the notes, it's the spaces between them:
that's the blues". Throughout the session with Sue I simply chose
the most emotionally loaded phrases as she spoke and applied EFT.
Then I gave Sue the space to become aware of her shifting feelings
and to express them. Sue needed little encouragement from me:
she was aware of her thoughts and feelings, open and articulate
and able to give voice to them. Not all clients are like this. For some
feelings are too scary and thoughts are something they keep to
themselves. It can be tempting then to tell the person what we
think, or to steer them towards what they should think. But that
would be like the guide dog steering the blind man towards the
butcher's shop.

As an EFT therapist we can be confident that EFT will do its job and
that the results will happen within the person. If we choose well
their specific words that tune the emotion then as we tap we can
have confidence that the emotion will shift. So it's part of our guide-
dogging job to help the client find the words and then to help them
become aware of their changes in perception. (These changes in
perception are the person's own and it is not up to us to supply
them.) To do this we need to be keeping their attention with their
present inner experience by asking open and vague questions
followed by a good long pause.

Questions like:

45
"And you can simply notice what comes to you now."

"And what do you know about that now?"

"And what are you experiencing about that now?"

"And how can you feel differently about X now?"

"If that were to happen again what can you do now that you
couldn't do before?"

Like the blues man said the magic lies between the notes. So after
asking something open and vague give a good long pause, longer
than may seem polite, chances are your client will fill it as they, like
me, see the kitten under the car.

Gwyneth Moss

46
6. How to Handle a "Vague Feeling" with EFT

Hi Everyone,

EFT Master Gwyneth Moss from the UK gives a step-by-step case


wherein a vague feeling of dread was successfully collapsed. Note
how the core issue just showed up during the process. This often
happens with EFT and is one of the delightful benefits of
persistence.

Hugs, Gary

By Gwyneth Moss, EFT Master

Sometimes we know what the problem is. We know that a certain


person or a certain situation gives us a certain feeling – like
nervous, frustrated or just plain uncomfortable. But sometimes we
don’t know what the problem is or what sets it off, its all very vague
and yet we know when we’ve got it. In these cases EFT can be
helpful in uncovering the real issue as well as in clearing the
emotional disturbance so that we can feel calm, think clearly and
act resourcefully.

In my EFT Workshops I do live demonstrations and work with


whoever wants to come forward with whatever they present. Rose
said “I’m not sure if this is suitable for EFT but I just get this vague
feeling of dread – I’ve got it now.” I asked Rose to come forward
and she said she felt a heavy dread feeling in her stomach and had
this feeling for as long as she could remember. I asked her “when
does it happen” and “what sets that off” and other questions looking
for some external trigger and to all these detective’s questions she
answered “I don’t know” or “there’s no pattern” but its when

47
“something is about to happen”. She couldn’t be more specific
about when or where she would feel the dread and there didn’t
seem to be any specific memories attached to it.

So we just began tapping generally “Even though my stomach feels


heavy dread and it's so familiar, been with me so long, and even
though dread is like an old companion, I hardly know dread at all.”

After a couple of rounds Rose smiled, looked more relaxed and said
that dread was softer and lighter. She had no memory of how
dread could have come to her and that her childhood was generally
happy and her parents were still together after 40 years of
marriage. We continued tapping with, “Even though I don’t know
how dread came to my stomach and maybe my deeper mind does
not want me to know and I respect my deeper mind for that.”

Then Rose looked surprised and said “I can see it so clearly, I’m
standing at the top of the stairs and looking through the railings and
in my pink nightdress, I must be about 3, and I can hear Mum and
Dad downstairs shouting, screaming at each other, I’m scared
because Mum and Dad never shout.”

So we tapped with “Even though I’m just a little, little girl and I’m
scared because Mum and Dad are shouting and I don’t understand,
and my little girls emotions are feeling all scared and my little girls
mind is all confused and I don’t understand and that was then and
this is now.” Then we tapped with “Now I’m older than Mum and
Dad were then. True? Mum and Dad were young, younger than I
am now and they were just learning about how to be married, being
married is quite a challenge, I know that now, and they must have
learned a lot because they got really good at it, and maybe they
weren’t so good at it then when I was three and maybe that is how

48
they learned to get good at it, by shouting at each other when they
thought I was asleep”

Rose smiled and said “Both Mum and Dad were born during the
war, Dad was a refugee and Mum’s parents were alcoholics. No one
showed them how to be married.” She then chose to visualize
giving the little girl in the pink nightdress a cuddle and taking her
back to bed with some words of reassurance and guidance and
showing her how to do tapping. The dread was completely gone.
Throughout the remainder of the day and the next day I tried to
provoke her old dread by putting her on the spot or building up that
“something is about to happen”. The dread could not be found.

So when you can’t find a pattern or a trigger or a memory and you


don’t know where to start with EFT – just start. Start with what’s
there, the body feeling or the thought or the emotion and just keep
tapping and you can both allow yourselves to be surprised.

With love,

Gwyneth

49
7. A Public Speaking Case where Language
was the Issue

Hi Everyone,

Here's a sophisticated case by EFT Master Gwyneth Moss from the


UK. It took her some listening and common sense to find the true
issue. As you will see, she just went with the flow and it showed up
beautifully. Gwyneth says, "The beauty of EFT is that as the
therapist we don’t need to know the whole story and if something
changes then it changes."

Hugs, Gary

By Gwyneth Moss, EFT Master

I recently attended the Milton H Erickson Foundation Brief Therapy


conference in Anaheim, California. One evening I found myself in
the bar and in conversation with an engaging and intelligent
psychotherapist. We spoke about our experiences of the conference
and she asked me about my practice in the UK and was very
interested when I started to explain EFT and asked lots of questions
with keen curiosity. Now, as you know it’s not explanation that
communicates what EFT is and can do, it's experience. So rather
than talk about it I asked her if she would like to experience EFT
and was it OK to do something there and then, in the bar, that
looks daft and feels silly?

Yes she was up for it, so I asked her was there a situation in which
her emotional response is out of proportion to what is happening.
Yes she said and told me "I usually love public speaking and am

50
very comfortable in front of a group of any size but recently I was in
an audience and the presenter who knew me, asked me to come up
on stage and introduce myself. As I walked to the microphone I felt
my heart pounding and my throat went dry and I was shaking and
could hardly speak and now I'm scared that it will happen again and
I've lost my confidence"

OK, I thought to myself, this is a classic case for EFT and so I led
her through a couple of short cut rounds of EFT focusing on the
body sensations of the memory of being asked to speak. To my
surprise, when I then asked her to think about what had happened
again there was very little change in intensity. So with curiosity I
asked her to describe in more detail exactly what the presenter had
said when he asked her to come to the stage. She said "Oh, I can't
tell you that because it was a group from my community and he
spoke in Farsi which is my first language, I grew up in Iran and
came to California as a teenager."

That gave me a clue as to how come this caring, outgoing and


confident woman had experienced such a sudden attack of
unexplained nerves. So I told her that we would go through the
EFT again and this time as I spoke in English she was to translate
my words to Farsi and speak aloud in Farsi. We did that and even
before I asked her for an intensity number I could see the change in
her. Her face and shoulders softened she smiled and her eyes
moistened. Her intensity was right down and we did a little more
tapping on a couple of remaining aspects with me speaking English
and she in Farsi. Then I had her imagine presenting to a group in
Farsi and she could find no trace of the nervousness, indeed she
was looking forward to it.

Now here is my explanation: English is her grown-up language in


which she is a capable, confident and successful therapist. Farsi is

51
her childhood language in which she was herself as a child, a small
person. So that when as a mature and capable adult she had to
speak to a group in her native tongue she felt fear because what
would a child have to say to such an audience. This is all a guess
because I didn’t ask her and I didn’t need to ask her. The beauty of
EFT is that as the therapist we don’t need to know the whole story
and if something changes then it changes. Had there been no
change in her affect after that Farsi round of tapping then I would
have gone on to ask her about earlier experiences but her
experience did change and when the job is done and you’ve tested
the result, then the job is done.

The learning from this is that if you are working with someone
whose native tongue is not yours have them translate and speak in
their native tongue. It does not matter if you the therapist don’t
understand. The purpose of the words we use when tapping is to
tune into the emotion. Sometimes that emotional tuning is
dependent on the language in which those words are articulated.

With best wishes,

Gwyneth

52
8. Thoughts on being Specific or General
with EFT

Hi Everyone,

As a rule, the more Specific you become with EFT, the more likely
you will get your results quickly. However, there are certainly uses
for being General in your approach, especially when the General
approach points to Specific items. EFT Master Gwyneth Moss from
the UK expands on this concept in this article.

Hugs, Gary

By Gwyneth Moss, EFT Master

Being specific is terrific! Many of you will have heard that


endorsement and know that we are always being encouraged to get
to specific events with EFT. Well, yes, being specific is terrific and
Gary’s article in the Tutorial series is a must read for all keen
tappers but I’d like to speak up for some subtle ways of being
general. Because in being specific or general it is not the words
that are spoken but what those words generate within the person
that the tapping is working on. So even when general words are
used if these access specific memories, thoughts or beliefs, the
effect will be specific. Here are a couple of examples.

Example – Being Specific with Metaphor

A young woman, Liz, was sent to me by her chiropractor as she had


pain across her shoulders that did not respond to treatment. I
asked her to describe the pain in as much detail as she could and

53
she said it was like being torn apart. She used the metaphor of the
Levis jeans logo with two horses pulling a pair of jeans apart.

We tapped with “torn apart by two horses” and after a couple of


rounds she laughed and said I know who the horses are. She and
her husband were between houses and had moved in with her sister
for a few weeks that had become months. She loves her husband
and sister and they hate each other. She had felt torn between
them and had tried in vain to keep the peace.

So now we got specific and tapped on the fights between her


husband and sister till she said “they are grown ups, its up to them,
its only temporary, they can sort it out, I’m keeping clear, I don’t
have to get in the way” and with that the pain was completely gone
how ever she moved to try and find it.

This is an example of where getting the specific words that are the
metaphor of what the body is holding allows the message of the
body to be received and the emotion to be released. Once the
message has been received the symptom is no longer necessary.
Had we tapped on “this pain in my shoulder” then it is likely that
the pain would have diminished and returned as soon as she got
back home to the fights between her sister and husband.

Example – Being General with Reframing

Mick is a great thinker. His recent work is likely to get media


attention and he came to me terrified of speaking in groups or in
public. I knew that he had seen many therapists and medical
specialists and they had worked on his fears and experiences of
speaking. So I realized that this called for something more indirect
from me.

54
I asked him when in his life had he most felt fear and he told me
that his brother, who he described as a psychopath, had bullied him
as a child with extreme violence and that after his father left, his
depressed mother was not able to protect him from his brother. He
was then, as a child, on a daily basis in real fear for his life but he
felt no emotion about that now and was on good terms with his
brother (a very successful trial lawyer).

We started tapping and I introduced general truisms about families


(something along these lines) “fathers should stay with mothers,
that’s how it should be and it’s wrong when fathers leave and
children who only see through the eyes of children can’t understand
the emotions and decisions of adults and have to make sense of it
somehow… and mothers should always protect their children, that’s
how it should be and mothers should not be depressed and they
should always be cheerful whatever happens because children don’t
understand that adults are normal fallible, screwed-up human
beings who make mistakes and get hi-jacked by their own
emotions…and little boys who lose their fathers should be able to
cry and should have an emotion other than anger available to
them” we went on and on like this with general truths tapping
round and round.

As we were speaking generalities about families he would have


been accessing specifics about his childhood and I could see from
his general demeanor that we were clearing a path through the
woods. I have since heard that he is much more comfortable
speaking and when he wakes up in the morning an old familiar
dread is gone.

Isn’t it wonderful the power and subtlety of words? In my Level 3


workshop “The Art of Delivery” we focus on getting creative with the
words in EFT. And though I’d be delighted to see you on a

55
workshop you don’t need me to give you permission to unleash your
creativity. You can do that yourself! Simply trust the words that
come to you, or through you.

With love,

Gwyneth

56
9. Introducing the EFT Imagineering
Technique
Hi Everyone,

In this 4 part series, EFT Master Gwyneth Moss from the UK brings
a highly creative technique to our attention. It has very widespread
uses ... particularly on physical issues.

Hugs, Gary

Part 1: What is EFT Imagineering?


Part 2: How to use EFT Imagineering
Part 3: An Experience of EFT Imagineering
Part 4: A Pain in the Jaw
Part 5: The Bones in The Cave

By Gwyneth Moss, EFT Master

Part 1: What is EFTImagineering?

When using EFT with a physical symptom the obvious place to start
is with the pain. But what if there is no pain? Sometimes when
people come to us for help with a physical symptom they tell us
how painful it has been and how they anticipate further pain but
when you ask “on a scale from 0 to 10 where 0 is no pain at all and
10 is as bad as it can be, what number would you give it now?”
Their response comes back “well it doesn’t hurt just now”. Oh
where do we get started with EFT when someone has a painless
condition with no visible symptoms?

It was for these painless, invisible conditions that I developed the


Imagineering technique and then found it had many other

57
applications. In this article I’ll give you an overview and in the next
I’ll show you how to use Imagineering.

Your imagination uses your full consciousness to create metaphors


of reality. Our conscious consciousness resides in the left
hemisphere of the cortex - the thinking part of the brain which
seeks meaning and causality and processes sequentially. Our
imagination is the process of awareness by the left side of the brain
of images, sounds and felt senses arising in the right side of the
brain which processes spatially or simultaneously in response to
emotion generated in our emotional brain. Sound too complicated?
Let’s try again,

Our words are:

• connected to images, that are


• connected to emotions, that are
• connected to our body.

In Imagineering we make use of this chain of connections to gain


access to the roots of dis-ease in a gentle and indirect manner.

This is a technique we can add to our collection of EFT ‘gentle


techniques’. We know that our physical symptoms have emotional
roots. At times a person is not able to handle those emotions and
therefore avoids recall of those emotional experiences. That may
be precisely how the physical symptom comes into place.
Imagineering allows an indirect and metaphorical access to the
emotion locked in the symptom and gives an opportunity for the
calming and clearing effects of EFT to get to work. The core issues
can then come safely into awareness. Using imagination we can
access deeper consciousness to generate metaphorical reality. Using
EFT on various aspects of the metaphorical reality generally results
in change to the metaphor which, in turn, translates into change in

58
physical reality. But, that’s just explanation and what counts is
experience so here is an Imagineering example.

The Case of Wendy's Finger

Wendy is an artist. She tells me that she has arthritis in her finger
joint which has been getting painful and preventing her from
holding a paintbrush. When she comes to me to learn EFT she says
“it doesn’t hurt right now but it can get really bad”. Knowing that
she is an artist I confidently expect that she will enjoy the
Imagineering technique with EFT, so I ask her first to imagine that
she holds a small light in her hand, it may be a bulb or a flame or
just a bright little light. Wendy imagines a small and powerful
flashlight.

Next we try it out. I ask her to imagine that she shrinks the light
down so that it is very, very small and very, very bright and that
she sticks it into her ear and imagines that she goes with it right
inside her head. I ask her to tell me what it’s like in there. She
tells me that she is in a beautiful cavern and that there is a soft
humming sound and the cavern is vast and spacious and the walls
are sparkling and soft colours.

I ask what it’s like to be in there. She says it is warm and there are
all sorts of things floating about like old friends and her father’s dog
and her school desk and she is weightless and feels like giggling. I
ask her to come back out and we talk about her pleasant
experience.

Then I ask her to put the little bright light into her finger joint and
to go inside with it. When she brings the light out again she tells
me that inside it is cold and dim and there are jagged spikes of
broken glass and screeching glass sounds. It feels lonely in there.

59
Then we tap on “even though there are jagged spikes and broken
glass in my finger joint ….” And, “even though it’s lonely in my
finger”. I ask her what the ‘lonely’ is like and she tells me that
sometimes her husband travels for his business and that even if it is
only for one night it feels desperately lonely and that’s like when
she was little and her father who was a ship’s captain would go to
sea for months. So we tap with “even though I know he’s coming
back but I get sad like when daddy went away to sea….” We then
tap using The Movie Technique with a specific memory from her
childhood.

I ask her to take the light back inside the finger joint. She tells me
that it is warmer in there and the glass is now ice and is dripping
and melting, the screeching sound is fading and more distant. We
do more tapping: “even though there is dripping ice in there….
“When she next goes inside the finger with her little light the ice has
melted and there is a clear blue pool, a soft humming sound and
she feels calm. She looks different too, her face has softened and
there is a sparkle in her eyes.

Later that year she told me that she had far less bother from her
arthritis through the winter, physically the pain is much less
frequent and her finger seems to move more easily and does not
interfere with her painting. Whenever her finger did bother her she
shut her eyes for a while, sat quietly and meditated on the clear
blue pool and felt the pain ease.

In the second of these articles I’ll talk you through how to use
Imagineering.

Gwyneth Moss, EFT Master

60
Part 2: How to use Imagineering

Imagineering is a gentle approach to working with painless and/or


invisible symptoms. In this article I’ll take you through the steps of
using it and will illustrate with an example.

First, identify where in the body the symptom is located and what
parts of the body are not affected by the condition. Some
conditions may be located in a specific area or organ, others may be
pervasive and you will have to ask questions to identify where it is
most concentrated or where is most affected and where is not.

Ally comes to me in considerable distress. She has just discovered


a lump in her breast and is waiting for a medical appointment to
have tests. She can just about feel the lump if she presses but it
has no pain or sensation. We establish that the lump is in her left
breast and other areas of her body are OK.

I then explain to her that our verbal awareness lives in the left side
of our thinking brain and that the right side of our brain is the realm
of pictures, metaphor and dreams (our imagination) and that the
right side has more connection to her emotional brain which has
connection to her body. We will be using her imagination to work
with that chain of connections: words-imagination-emotions-body.

Sometimes at this point a person will say “I don’t have an


imagination” Now, this may be a “Writing on the Walls” (see EFT
and the Palace of Possibilities). To clear that block you can ask
some gentle questions and do some tapping. Or, you can point out
that all their worries and anxieties are generated by the misuse of
imagination and that you just can’t get anxious without an
imagination. I also explain that everyone is unique in how they use
their imagination and each person will have their own experience
and that there is no right or wrong way to do this – it’s a judgement

61
free space in which to play. Some experience imagination with
colours, pictures and shapes, other people get sounds, music or
voices and some get a feeling sense of being there. Whatever you
get is what you get.

Our imaginations work best and we have better access to their


output when we are calm and relaxed. So I ask the person to take
three good breaths each one a little slower and deeper than the
previous one and to let their out breath drift slowly out and away
and taking any tension or worry with it. Then I ask them to
imagine that they hold a bright light in their hand, it may be a flame
or a flashlight or simply a ball of light and once they have that light
to shrink it down so that it gets smaller and brighter and fits on the
tip of a finger. We are now ready to do an imagination test run. I
like to use the inside of the head to do this but you could choose
another part of the body as long as it is not the part most affected
by the condition.

I hold my finger up with my bright light and Ally mirrors me as I put


my finger in my ear and close my eyes. I ask her to take the light
inside her head and for her imagination to go with it and shine it
around. I am quiet for a minute or so while she does this, then I
suggest that she can come back out when she is ready to. She says
there is nothing there, so I ask her to go back in, wait quietly, with
curiosity and to let her imagination surprise her, to pretend. If there
was something there what would it be? She says it’s like she is in a
woodland, its quiet and still and there are little birds around. She
likes doing this now.

Some people will report a very realistic visualisation like an


anatomy book, others will have a metaphorical or dream like
experience and a significant number will initially say “nothing” and
may need some encouragement to “pretend” or “guess” or “make it

62
up”. The important thing with the test run is that they have some
sort of experience. Now that we have done a test run we approach
the symptom. I generally ask the person how the light is going to
get inside. Some chose to stick it in through the flesh and others
will want to swallow it or insert their finger into their navel or back
into the ear again.

Ally puts her finger to her breast and shuts her eyes, I wait
patiently. A minute later she withdraws her finger and says “there’s
a round hard boulder of rock”. So we tap with “Even though
there’s this round hard boulder of rock in my breast….”

Once you have the imagined metaphor whether it is visual or a


sound or a felt sense simply put their description, their exact words
into EFT and tap for a round or two. Then send them back in there
with their imagination. Chances are that something will be
different, take their new description and put their words into the
EFT setup and tapping.

Ally goes back inside and finds that the boulder now has an opening
like a cave, so we tap with that “even though there is an opening
and a cave in the boulder….” Then as she goes back inside the cave
becomes a womb and as she says the word “womb” she gets
overwhelmed with tears so we simply tap a few rounds with the one
word “womb” until she calms down. Now the womb opens and she
sees her adult son (who has mental health difficulties) curled up in
there and sulking. Ally tells me that her son is now living
independently and things are going well for him but that’s not how
it used to be and there were years of intense and overwhelming
difficulty. We use The Movie Technique to clear the emotion of
several intense events from when he was a teenager. We address
her guilt, her powerlessness at being unable to help him and her
anger at his constant demands. When she returns inside she sees

63
him smiling and then he picks up his bag and leaves the cave/womb
and waves to her. We do some more tapping and when she
eventually returns inside the boulder now appears to her as soft
rubber like a child’s ball. Ally is smiling and looks relaxed. A week
later I hear the result of her tests, the lump is a benign cyst.

Imagineering can often take us to the core issue that underlies the
physical manifestation of dis-ease. It’s a gentle approach that
allows the specific core issue to come to consciousness once the
person is ready to receive it and make the connections. Start with
tapping for whatever they imagine then tap to clear the emotional
intensity of whatever connected memories come into awareness.
You could use The Movie Technique or Tell the Story. There is no
set pattern to these cases – you simply start with the imagination,
the images, sounds and feelings and let the body wisdom of the
person take it where it needs to go. As the therapist you do not
need to know the diagnosis or anything about the condition, you
can trust that whatever is relevant will emerge.

One way to use imagination as a part of Imagineering is to guide


the person’s imagination into a healthy part of their body for
comparison. Susan has eczema so after a test run in her head we
take her light into the broken and itchy skin. She is a musician and
says that everything is an angry red in there and she can hear
discordant and jarring Stockhausen. Then we take the light into a
clear patch of skin on the other arm, the colour here is clear blue
and she can hear Bach. So we use EFT choices: “Even though its
angry red and jarring Stockhausen in this eczema skin I choose
clear Blue Bach all over me!”

For both client and therapist, Imagineering is gentle and fun as the
client’s images and metaphors bring their own humour and can fill
therapy sessions with lightness that counters the serious nature of

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the condition and memories that may emerge. I hope you enjoy
playing with it.

Gwyneth Moss, EFT Master

Part 3: An Experience of EFT Imagineering

Mary Nugent attended my EFT Level Three training. As part of the


training I teach and demonstrate the EFT Imagineering technique.
This is a technique I have developed which uses a person’s
imagination to ‘get inside’ a physical symptom so that we can
extract information to tap with. In the previous two EFT
Imagineering articles I have described the technique and how to
use it.

Essentially you imagine a tiny bright light at the end of an index


finger, then you take a few slow deep breaths to relax (imagination
blossoms when consciousness softens) and test run your
imagination by placing the light in your ear and going right inside
your head with your imagination.

Mary says: “I saw an old fashioned university library with stained


glass windows and shaded lights reflecting off polished wooden
tables, but part of my skull, about one quarter in a mezzanine area,
was full of small cartoon characters the “numbskulls” from a
childhood comic book. The numbskulls were keeping everything
working away efficiently. I liked this sense of the ridiculous
juxtaposed against the sombre university library. I must put in
here that I have never felt myself to be a very visual person and in
fact never felt comfortable with visualisation exercises as I felt I
always had to work too hard to try to get any mind pictures. This
was not the case with the imagineering however.”

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Mary had a painful shoulder which had bothered her for about six
months, she had the tired and drained look of someone bearing the
burden of pain. The pain was constant and seemed worse at night,
to the extent that she found it difficult to get to sleep and was often
awoken from sleep with pain if she moved in the night. Mary is a
generally optimistic and cheerful person but the pain was dragging
her down and painkillers had little effect. Having done a test run
we now took the little light inside her shoulder which had an initial
pain level of 9.

Mary says: “My initial vision of my shoulder was that one half of it
was made up of hard frosted white ice and the other half was made
up of the burning fires of hell.”

We tapped with “Even though there is hard frosted ice and the
burning fires of hell in my shoulder, I truly and deeply accept myself
and I really do accept myself whatever these images mean!”

“I shone the light again and the ice was not so sharp or so frosted
but clear and blunter as thought it had started to melt. The burning
fires of hell were more like embers – I think I described the heat
now as “granny” heat. Which represented to me a more gentle,
caring heat. This brought some tears to my eyes as I still miss my
grandmother”.

We talked a little about her grandmother and then tapped again for
the ice and heat and she shone the light again: “this time I just got
an impression of Aladdin’s genie. This genie was like a cartoon
figure with an enormous upper body, and tiny legs coming into
pointy feet. His feet danced from the cold ice to the hot embers and
he danced as though he was jiggling from the cold ice to the hot
embers and back again. His hot feet melted the ice and his cold feet
then cooled the embers.” It was obvious to all that Mary was now

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enjoying herself, she looked lighter and we all laughed with the
humour of the dancing genie jumping from the ice to the embers.

So we tapped for the dancing genie. Each time Mary took her
imagination inside with the light and then reported what she saw I
simply reflected her exact words back to her with EFT. “Even
though Aladdin’s genie is dancing on the cold ice and the hot
embers and I really don’t know where that comes from I absolutely
accept myself.” Then we repeated the shining of the light once
more. The image changed to an image of Cleopatra’s needle
stabbing into the centre of the front of her shoulder where it is most
painful. We tapped for the needle and the feelings it provoked and
shone the light again.

“This time as I shone the light I got the image of a lizard wrapping
itself around the needle and this lizard led to the blunting of the
edges of the obelisk. We tapped and shone again and the needle
disappeared and the lizard has draped itself over my shoulder to
nurture it and protect it “

To some people a lizard would be threatening or unwelcome but to


Mary this lizard was a healer and protector. She visibly smiled,
relaxed and softened at this point so I asked about her pain levels
which had reduced to about a 2.

Mary says “Not only did my pain reduce significantly but the
exercise left me with a tool to use when I felt the pain or when it
was stopping me from sleeping. That tool was the lizard, I just got
the feeling that if I imagined the lizard draped over my shoulder it
would ease the pain.”

“When I returned home from the workshop, I still had some


remaining pain, but it would peak at a 5 or 6 rather than a 9 or 10.
The big difference was that almost immediately I could sleep

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through the night without being awakened with the pain. Then
after about 2 weeks or so the pain left completely for a period of
about six months, I have some renewed pain now but when it
comes back I imagine the lizard and it seems to ease it
considerably.”

“Gwyneth no one was more surprised than I was at the totally


unexpected images that came to mind during this exercise. As I
said before, I had never considered myself at all good at image
work or visualisation and had no clue that my imagination could be
so vivid and so diverse. The images also brought up lots of humour
and I think that for me humour is a great help to shift my energy
and to get a new perspective on things. “

I love the EFT Imagineering Technique because it offers a way of


working with both acute and chronic physical symptoms that is:

• gentle and indirect


• respectful of a person’s privacy
• fun and humorous
• fast and effective

In fact all the best things about EFT!

Gwyneth Moss

Part 4: A Pain in the Jaw

Liz Kirsop came on my “Art of Delivery” EFT workshop and she


would like to share her experience of the EFT Imagineering
technique. Liz says:

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“Ten years ago I started to get pain in my jaw and face plus
headaches that my doctor said was migraine. It all got a lot worse
when I started to work in a call centre and sometimes I could hardly
open my mouth wide enough to speak. I had to take days off with
dreadful ‘migraines”. Happily, my dentist fixed me up with a plastic
splint that looks like a boxer’s gum-shield. I had to wear it every
night as the dentist explained that the problem was caused by my
grinding or clamping my teeth when asleep. It did help but found I
had to also use a special pillow else my neck and shoulders would
become painful. Whenever I went on business trips or holidays I
took this gum-shield thing and my pillow everywhere. Still I would
get the pain sometimes – after a long drive, a poor night’s sleep or
at times of stress and worry.”

All of us experience stress in our lives and when it gets to a chronic


level our bodies have to find somewhere to put it. With some of us
it is the lower back or shoulders with others it is in our breathing or
gut and the jaw is another common stress dumping ground.

“I’d had a bad night and had driven a fair distance to get to
Gwyneth’s training group and my face was really sore so I gladly
volunteered to be the guinea pig for Imagineering. First Gwyneth
told me to imagine there was a very bright light on the end of my
forefinger. I couldn’t help thinking of E.T.! We took time to get it
really bright and then went exploring my knee, imagining the light
on the end of my finger entering the joint and shining around. It
was a smooth walled pinkish white cave and quite pleasant.”

I always like to do a test drive of the imagination before taking the


little light to the problem area. Usually I test by having the person
put the little light inside their ear and use it to take their
imagination into the centre of their head. This is what Mary Nugent
did in the previous article.

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However Liz felt that the problem of her face and jaw and
associated migraines was too much in her head and so we sought
somewhere else to explore for a test run – Liz suggested her knee.
The test run gives a person an experience of their imagination and
lets the therapist know whether we are working with visual
imagination or if the person experiences imagination in a more
auditory or feeling manner. Quite a proportion of people do not
have a visual imagination but we can still use Imagineering. For
those who are highly auditory I might ask them to go inside with a
tiny and sensitive microphone rather than a light.

“Then we went to my ear in order to get into the jaw area where
the problem was. From my ear there was a dark chute down to the
jaw and I didn’t want to go down it so we came out of there and
tapped on that fear.”

As the therapist at this stage I simply take Liz’s description and


reflect it back to her through EFT as in “Even though it’s a dark
chute and I’m scared to go down there I really do accept myself
whatever that means”. Then I have Liz go back into her jaw with
the light and her imagination and…

“When I went back in there was more light and a handrail and I
went down the slope into the jaw area. It was dark and cold, rather
claustrophobic. There was a shallow pool I had to cross and I didn’t
want to. The water was very cold and I didn’t know how deep or
what might be lurking in there. I felt lonely and scared.”

Again we simply reflect back the imagined experience using as


many of the senses as possible “Even though its dark and cold and
scary and lonely and I don’t want to cross that pool, I truly and
deeply accept myself and all of this”

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Liz comments: “a member of the group asked why Gwyneth had
not come into the cave or the pool with me as I seemed to be
needing that, as a child would. My perception was that it was
important that Gwyneth did not come in because it was totally my
place and I had to get comfortable in it by myself in my way” This
is very important. The imagery and feelings change through the
tapping. We do not need to interpret the meaning or to get
involved or to try to change things consciously. As the therapist
you simply reflect back through the EFT process whatever imagery
or emotion arises.

At this stage a memory emerged for Liz from when she was about
11 years old. She had swum to the deep end of a public swimming
pool, found herself out of her depth, got into a panic and felt that
she was drowning. Liz had obviously been a stronger swimmer
than she thought she was as she had been able to struggle to the
side on her own and had got her breath back. She survived but in
that moment of panic she thought she was going to die. There were
lifeguards and family members around the pool but none had seen
Liz panic and struggle. When a memory emerges during the use of
the Imagineering technique, we simply switch to the Movie
Technique and use EFT in the usual way by giving the Movie a name
and then tapping bit by bit through the crescendos of the story. We
did that with the Deep End movie for Liz and cleared the fear and
panic so that Liz could experience it as more distant and tell it
without intensity.

Liz says: “A surprise was that once the panic subsided I realized
that I felt ashamed for having nearly drowned and I had never told
anyone about it because I was embarrassed and just thought I was
being stupid.”

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That feeling of shame stopped Liz from getting the comfort, support
and encouragement that could have prevented the trauma from
getting stuck in her system. When we have to keep something
secret and don’t talk about it our brains cannot integrate the
experience and it gets buried with the full emotion ready to be
triggered by innocuous triggers that match the pattern.

After doing a thorough job with the movie technique we returned to


Imagineering and Liz went back to her jaw. “I went back in and
into the pool. It was not deep at all – something like a Jacuzzi, the
water was blue and just slightly warmer than it had been, and it
was a pleasant place to be. There was also a crab in the water but
just a tiny one and I was happy for it to be there.”

Very often in the imagery a creature appears when the shift has
happened: the lizard that wrapped itself around Mary Nugent’s
shoulder and this tiny crab in Liz’s jaw. At this point the whole
group could see a change in Liz. Her face looked brighter and she
was sitting up more in the chair. She still seemed skeptical though
and did not report much change on that day however six months
later she says: “Since then I have not used the gum-shield or the
special pillow and my jaw and face have been better than they have
for years. I can still have a bad night occasionally and get some of
the clunking back but it is rare now. I also feel my voice has
changed and I have less problem with my sinuses.”

When I contacted Liz to ask her if she would like to write up her
experience I made the guess that whenever in her life or work she
felt out of her depth it was triggering that stuck memory of the
deep end with all the panic and grim determination of survival and
the shame of being stupid and not being able to tell anyone or ask
for comfort. Liz was probably going through life with an equation of
“out of my depth = I am going to die”. I did not say anything at

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the time because that would have been intruding in her process but
six months later I made that suggestion.

Liz says: “That helped me make the connection that the jaw
grinding was related to feeling ‘out of my depth’. So now I can
understand the meaning of the imagery. And isn’t it amazing how
the language and imagery of the subconscious wants to work to
heal us? We really do know all we need to need to know in order to
heal ourselves somewhere inside us but we need strange techniques
like EFT and Imagineering to access those places and translate the
messages. In fact, my experience with Imagineering proves that it
did not matter whether I understood the imagery anyway. The cure
happened before the understanding.”

Liz makes a really important point. Her imagination and the tapping
did the work together and her thinking mind did not need to
understand or create meaning. So when using EFT Imagineering let
your thinking mind take a vacation. You don’t need to interpret or
try to change or get involved with significance. Simply use what
the imagination provides and trust that your imaginative, creative
mind and EFT together will do what needs to be done. And if
memories emerge simply take them through the Movie technique
and then return to the Imagineering process.

Gwyneth

Part 5: The Bones in the Cave

At the Denver Masters’ Showcase in July 2007 I presented EFT


Imagineering to an audience of over 200. I wanted to demonstrate
just how deep yet respectful, how profound yet humorous and how

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simple yet complex this technique can be. For that I needed to find
a demonstration subject who had both a chronic physical condition
and was open to using their imagination. At the close of the day
before I was due to present, Barbara Friedman approached me with
a question about marketing. Barbara says:

“For me the Showcase was a wonderful opportunity to learn from


watching top-level practitioners use EFT, and my intention was to
observe and absorb as much as possible. I’m not one to volunteer
as a subject – ever – so it was odd to find myself sitting onstage
opposite Gwyneth Moss on Friday morning.

I had seen Gwyneth on panels throughout the conference and she


fostered a strong level of trust with her respectfulness of the client’s
privacy, her depth of knowledge and her confidence in her
experience with EFT. The day before, Gwyneth noticed I walked
with a cane and mentioned she needed someone for her
demonstration of EFT Imagineering. Since imagery is both very
private and familiar to me, I was receptive. When she told me not
to tell her anything about myself or my problem, I was hooked. All
she asked was, “Are you visual?”

The next morning Barbara struggled up the steps onto the stage,
looking tired and worried and leaning heavily on her cane. I had
purposely not asked her anything about her history as I wanted her
imagination and EFT to do the work. All I knew was that she is a
psychotherapist of many years experience who lives on her own and
suffers pain and restricted movement in her hip.

Imagination blossoms when consciousness softens so to prepare


Barbara to use her imagination I asked her to slow and deepen her

74
breathing and bring to mind a time of being in meditation or
peaceful relaxation and then we did an imagination test run.

After some breathing to center and relax, the first part of the
Imagineering involved seeing a light on the tip of my finger,
inserting the finger in my ear and lighting up the inside of my
head. I shared with the audience the pleasant sense of what I saw
and felt and the test run gave me confidence and also let me know
that my highly analytical thinking mind could take a short vacation.

Next Gwyneth directed my attention to my left hip where I was


having pain and difficulty, but left everything open for me to “be
there” and see what was there. I saw the interior of a fairly
undefined, empty cave with a few bones in a pile and a lot of dust.
No detail. Gwyneth then brought me out of the cave to describe my
experience to the audience and we tapped with my exact words:
“Even though there’s a pile of dusty bones in a cave I really do
accept myself” Asking me if I’d like to return, she gave me time to
go back into the cave with the bright little light.

When Barbara came out again she described the bones as no longer
being dusty but like ‘live’ bones that had recently had flesh on
them. So we tapped for that using her exact words. She returned
to the cave again and this time told us that the bones were no
longer visible and that she thought the bones were now inside her.

After several trips in and out, describing the experience and then
tapping with what I saw, the cave became more and more defined.
There was the sense and color of firelight, a group of people sitting
opposite me in a semicircle. They were mostly elder, male, Native
American - and I could see drawings on the cave wall behind them.

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When Barbara first sensed the presence of others in the cave she
really was not sure about them and we tapped with “even though
I’m not sure and I don’t like being not sure…I don’t know what this
means and I don’t like not knowing…” This seemed to shift
something because in her next trip inside she says:

I felt comfortable with these people, even though no one spoke.


There was a sense of formality to it, as though something was going
to be decided. I felt I was inside the cave for the first time and I
knew I was there because of my hip. (The pain there is bone on
bone due to osteoarthritis.) By the last time I visited the cave and
stayed there a while, I could see the group in more detail, feel the
texture of buckskin in their clothing and sense the look of them as if
we were all of the same tribe. But they remained at a distance and
I still didn’t have any specific information about the gathering, other
than it was about this group of people being supportive and helpful
to me and I felt supported and held in their stillness.

At this moment Barbara smiled and her whole presence shifted from
tired and worried to glowing and alive. Something profound was
happening and I left Barbara in her cave for a while whilst I spoke
to the audience. EFT is a very active technique and I find that once
a person experiences the shifts in energy that unblock whatever is
blocked it is good to offer them a little silence and stillness to let the
good work continue in privacy. A pearl of wisdom I learned from
Ernest Rossi is that as therapists we need to know when to shut up
and leave a person to get on with it themselves.

When Barbara opened her eyes and brought her attention back to
the present moment she described a feeling of optimism and clarity.
I asked her how could she find out and test whatever had changed
in her hip. In response she pointed to the steps which she had

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climbed with such difficulty. As she walked across the stage we all
saw how much more easily she moved and descended the steps.
Coming back up was still painful but she said not as painful as it had
been and now she was using the cane for balance rather than
support.

Seated again she marvelled at how she was feeling and moving and
then expressed doubt that she could hold onto this feeling when she
returned home. So I asked her “Let your mind wander ahead
through the coming days and is there anything that could bring the
old feeling back?” Barbara responded that carrying heavy
groceries into her home could do that. So we tapped for “Even
though carrying heavy groceries on my own could bring that old
feeling back I choose to find a surprisingly simple solution”

Gwyneth talked to me a bit about what was going on in my present


life situation, and then we began tapping on phrases she’d noticed
in our conversation. Part of that tapping dealt with my present
situation, not just the imagery but the true vulnerability of living on
my own in a painful, impaired state, and “having to do everything
myself.” So we tapped on “even though I’m on my own and have to
do everything myself…” We tapped on other things that I can’t
recall exactly, except the phrase “Oops, silly me” which was really
helpful in putting things in perspective. It instantly reminded me I
often take my situation too seriously and make everything seem
grim.

I’d now like to conclude this article with Barbara’s own view of her
EFT Imagineering experience and the insights and understanding
that she gained. Speaking to her a week after Denver she told me
that she had kept the optimistic feeling and each day was walking a
little further without her cane.

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My understanding of what occurred is that I have extensive
amounts of information about my physical condition but not enough
information about the emotional and existential issues connected
with it, (which is one reason I haven’t scheduled surgery yet.) I
believe that until I’m clear about the changes I need to make in my
life and have the tools to make those changes, my body will not
function optimally, even with a hip replacement. I feel that I don’t
want to move forward until I’m congruent in my heart and mind
about where I want to go. EFT is the tool I believe will take me
there. But as I learned from the imagery, I haven’t been in touch
with my internal “council” of support in choosing my next direction.

Prior to the EFT Imagineering, the concept of my internal support


system was about being strong enough to push through or
overcome difficulties. This often left me exhausted and depressed,
depleting my energy. In the imagery, I was struck by the
compassion and caring of this group, who, in their silence, projected
a healing energy through caring and concern. They were there, but
they did not tell me what to do or what was going to happen. This
was the type of inner strength I’d been missing in myself, though
it’s exactly the type I co-create with my clients. It was mirrored in
Gwyneth. She maintained a compassionate detachment that
allowed me to own the experience free of her influence and free of
my judgment and intellectualizing. It put me in touch with myself
in a more spiritual way, and I could feel my energy shift to a
different vibration.

I remember the exact moment in the cave when I no longer felt


alone and I could feel myself come back into my body in the
present. I remember smiling. At the same time I was aware of the
pain and fear that had pushed me out of my body over a year ago,

78
and how empty and alone I had been feeling since then. My
pessimism transformed into optimism and I began to reconnect with
my best self. I felt hopeful, even though I had no idea what was
going to happen.

Throughout the rest of the conference, people came up to me to


describe the changes they saw take place while I was “in the cave,”
especially in my energy at the moment of the smile. Often they
commented on the positive effect it had on them. Being approached
by so many people anchored the good feeling of connection that
had started in the imagery. Being supported by a group of people I
didn’t know, who shared their positive energy so openly, and who
thanked me for the shared benefits, created a powerful, reciprocal
feeling. It was the same experience I’d had in the imagery taken
one step further.

Thanks to EFT, to Gwyneth Moss, to all the exceptional practitioners


and attendees of the showcase…and to the internal support group I
discovered through EFT Imagineering, I truly left Denver in a state
of emotional freedom.

Gwyneth Moss
Barbara Friedman

(This article was written by Barbara and Gwyneth from memory and
without having seen the DVD of the session, viewing of which may
make apparent some inaccuracies in detail)

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10. Gwyneth Moss Discusses Support for
Therapists

Hi Everyone,

In this excellent 2 part series, EFT Master Gwyneth Moss of the UK


shares many insights, tips and pointers for supporting therapists.

Hugs, Gary

Part 1: The benefits of support


Part 2: Being a supporter

By Gwyneth Moss, EFT Master

Part 1: The benefits of support

Last week I called one of my Level 3 Trainees. She is a highly


experienced and skilled psychotherapist who runs a busy local
practice. I asked her “Do you do supervision?”

“Yes”

“Could you supervise me?”

“What me? Supervise you?”

There was surprise in her voice. So I explained that I needed to


change my supervision arrangements and that I would be delighted
if I could discuss my clients with her and so gain the benefit of her
experience and objectivity.

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Later I found myself thinking about the presuppositions that
underlay her initial surprised response. A trainee can’t supervise a
trainer. Supervision is hierarchical. And that led me to thinking
about the word itself. Just close your eyes and say the word
supervisor and notice what inner experience you get. I get an
image of a hard faced woman who walked up and down the line
frowning and shouting when I had a vacation job as a student. The
feeling is of being watched, being judged, being found wanting. Not
something at all helpful or an experience I would welcome.

When I say ‘supporter’ its entirely different and I remember


someone who listened with acceptance, who saw the goodness and
the gifts in me and with whom I could be myself, just as I am, and
whose clear minded simple questions persisted however much I
prevaricated and helped me to get back on track and find what I
was looking for.

Now I know that many of you reading this will have professional or
licensing requirements that set out in great detail the what, how
and whom of your professional supervision and this article is not
intended to either agree or disagree with any of that. This article is
about the role of the ‘supporter’ in therapy. What I would like to do
is provoke some thought about the core qualities/functions of what
a supporter can be and to inspire those for whom formal supervision
is not mandated to voluntarily seek out some form of support.

We all have writings on the walls about being ‘good enough’ or ‘not
good enough’ and those writings can get in the way of our
development both personally and as a therapist. We can interpret a
well meant observation as criticism or worse can blame our client
for ‘not being ready’ or ‘being resistant’. (Not ready or resistant are
simply problems to work on before working on the problem). We

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can all benefit from support or whatever we call it because whilst
we are breathing we are learning and growing.

EFT may be a small part of what you offer to clients or it may be at


the core of what you do. Whatever, there will be a proportion of
people, a large proportion, with whom tapping sessions progress
beautifully with specific events emerging and clearing, cognitive
shifts creating new perspectives and body tensions dissolving – with
these people you will find it easy to get rapport, to know where they
are at and to test results. And then there will be a proportion, a
small proportion, with whom you just don’t feel at ease, or you feel
inadequate to help, or you can’t get a grip on anything specific, or
you can’t find the words, or they just make no progress however
creative, empathetic and skilled you are. That happens for all of us
no matter how experienced.

The basic intention of supervision or support (or whatever you


choose to call it) is to help the therapist to help the client. Even if
the client does not come back to us we are still in a position to learn
from our experience in order to grow professionally and help
others. So I’d like to offer some thoughts from my own experience
of benefiting from supervision/support.

Reviewing your Case Book

A few days before a supervision/support session I go though my


appointment diary and make a list of the clients I have seen that
month. I put them into three subjective categories around my
feeling about them and our sessions: doing-fine, not-sure, and
stuck. The stucks I will definitely discuss with my supervisor
(knowing that her intention is for my learning and growth and the
benefit of my clients) and the not-sures if we have time. I will also
briefly tell my supervisor about the doing-fine group so that she can
give me a pat on the back and draw my attention to my successes.

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I know that if I did not have that supervision appointment then I
would put off doing this review. Consequently I would not dwell on
the satisfaction of the doing-fine category and I would avoid
contemplating the stuck and not-sure folks. That’s human nature.
Sometimes simply in making the list and reviewing the previous
month’s list I get an insight about someone in the not-sure group
and an idea for the next time I see them. Simply in me doing this
review my clients are already benefiting.

Just Talking About It

When we see clients we commit to respect their confidentiality.


This means that we don’t talk about them and therefore that we
don’t talk about our work. Part of the way that friends support each
other is that we can come home or pick up the phone and talk
through not only the frustrations and disappointments of our day
but also our successes, surprises and achievements. As therapists
we cannot do that as it would compromise confidentiality and so all
that mental clutter of the day stays in inner experience where it can
go round and round. There is a huge value to speaking aloud and it
is quite simple to understand why: we use more of our brains when
we speak than when we think. To speak aloud we start from inner
experience and then use the thinking part, the creating words part
the making sounds part and also the hearing and comprehending
parts as our words go out through the mouth and come back in
through the ears.

I have often found in supervision that I can be half way through


explaining just why I found a session difficult or just how a person
responded and I get an insight and the stuckness starts to move
and without the listener saying anything I know what to do next.
So the second benefit of supervision is that here is someone who
will listen with attention, acceptance and respect of confidentiality,

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giving us the space to convert from inner experience to thought to
sound that which we normally have to keep quiet. Just being able
to talk about what we do helps us and our clients.

Objectivity asks good questions

We all know just how difficult it can be to tap for ourselves and our
own issues and how well it can flow when working with another.
We are all masters at hiding from and avoiding that which we find
unpleasant and that hiding happens automatically and without
conscious thought. The presence of another person not only brings
the jump-leads effect of a second energy system but also the
objectivity to ask the simple little questions that we have not asked
ourselves. And it is our responses to simple little questions like:
“what’s so bad about that?” or “what could you have done
differently?” that make us turn inner experience into words. It is
the same effect with supervision.

When a therapy session does not go as we would expect it can be


that our response to that person was preventing us from getting out
of our own way and the simple questions of “what was it about
them that you found difficult?” or “who did they remind you of?”
can shed light on the writing on our own walls or allow specific
memories to emerge for tapping. Or sometimes a person’s life
experience may closely mirror our own and the triggered emotions
colour our objectivity. Again those simple little questions from
another can help us to bring awareness to specific events and the
writings on our own walls so that we can use EFT to clear them up.

Or it may be the other way and the question “who do you think you
reminded them of?” can bring the insight.

So the another benefit of supervision is being asked simple little


questions that bring awareness to our own stuff that is keeping us

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from getting out of our own way. Sometimes awareness is enough
and sometimes we need to tap and having a supervisor you can tap
with there and then is a great bonus.

Now a qualified supervisor can also spot when a therapist is on


ethical thin ice and needs steering back to firm ground. And in
addition to that supervising role there is the benefit of the supporter
which for me means spending time with someone who:

• Gets you to review your practice and has the intention of the
success of your practice
• listens with attention whilst you talk about your client work
and is committed to keep confidential whatever you tell them;
• can ask simple little questions to help you become aware of
your own stuff and can help you tap through whatever arises
• gives you a pat on the back and brings your attention to your
learning, growth and achievements and reminds you to take
care of yourself

Gwyneth

Part 2: Being a supporter

In the first article I wrote about the benefit of support for those who
are using EFT to help others. Now I would like you to think about
how to be a helpful and valued supporter.

Undivided Attention

To offer support is to offer your undivided attention. Make an


appointment with your supportee and clear the decks of your own
life for that time. Support is not a two way chatter it is a directed
and purposeful one way process where one person commits to

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offering their intention and attention for the benefit of another –
just like we do in therapy. Support is an asymmetrical agreement
and because of that requires some form of payment or exchange.
For the duration of the support session you need to get your own
self and your own stuff out of the way – this is their time. So no
interruptions and no saying “Oh yes, it’s like when I ….”

A Good Listening To

As a supporter you need to give your supportee a good listening


to. And at the same time gently prevent them from babbling or
jumping about all over the place. Listen with an awareness of what
you are listening to and for. Gently bring them back to the client
they were discussing or the question they were raising if their mind
wanders or sidetracks. Agree a structure for the sessions that
works for both of you so that you use your time together efficiently:
you could start with an overview, then focus on the stuck cases and
end with a success.

Praise their Successes

Often people take their successes for granted and pick up on every
error or omission. As a supporter you need to have your antennae
on alert for success and sometimes as little as a smile and nod is
enough in recognition, sometimes it’s a ‘well done’ or ‘Wow!’ that
you need to offer so that they can recognise that they have done
well. And of course you can always ask “and what did you learn
from that success?” “What could you do differently now?” If you
are aware of the concept of ‘attributional style’ then you can
challenge your suportees global or permanent negative attributions
to help them think more healthily about their work.

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Ask the Unasked Questions

I was recently telling my supervisor about a client with an obsessive


fear of death and she asked me the obvious question that I had not
considered “have you asked her how and when she learned what
death is or did someone special die when she was young?” That
was a really useful question which when I asked my client opened
many doors. With another client she asked me “who does she
remind you of?” and I had to think long and hard and she had to
ask me twice before I replied “my old boss in London” and that
opened lots of tapping doors for me. So as a supporter, as you
listen, have the back of your mind looking out for the unasked
questions. Resist the desire to offer your interpretation of the
client’s situation - remember that you are hearing the story second
hand and the most helpful contribution you can offer the therapist is
a question rather than an answer.

From client to therapist to supporter there is an increase in


objectivity and a decrease in subjectivity. A supporter can be highly
objective because all they know about the person is what the
therapist tells them. The supporter has never met the client and
their understanding lacks the subtlety that comes from nonverbal
awareness, they have to fill in subjectivity with conjecture and
imagination. This is why I agree with a quote attributed to Fritz
Perls “Any interpretation is a therapeutic mistake”. A supporter
cannot tell a therapist what to do and what a supporter can do is
ask the questions or tell the stories or offer the teachings that
enable the therapist balance their objectivity and subjectivity to
help the client.

And of course if you feel that your supportee is straying towards the
outer bounds of general human ethical behaviour then you must say
so and you must then help them to accept and change their

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behaviour. Whether or not we operate within a formal professional
code of ethics we all need to behave with kindness and
consideration and in a manner that we can be proud of.

Talk and Tap

When a therapist is really stuck with a client I get them to tap


continually as they describe the client and I keep giving little sounds
of encouragement of asking “then what” to keep them going for
several minutes. Often this leads to a spontaneous insight of where
to go or an understanding of what action the client needs to take. A
variant of this is to have the therapist role play the client and I act
as therapist and ask the simple questions a therapist would ask and
we tap together. This generally ‘unsticks’ the therapist and
sometimes the surrogate effect unsticks the client too.

Remind about Self-Care

We all forget to look after ourselves and as a supporter you will


probably need to remind your supportee to get a good balance of
work, rest and play. Good things to suggest that we can all do are
balancing the time we are serious with time having fun; and the
time we are noisy with time being quiet; and the time we are sitting
at a computer with time moving whether walking, running or
dancing. There are many ways to relax, re-energise and let go and
they all work but sometimes we need a supporter to be remind us
to plan them into our lives. And of course we need to be reminded
to tap.

Being a supporter is rewarding in itself and an added benefit is that


there is so much that our supportees can teach us and that we can
learn from their experiences. Outside of the licenced and mandated
professions where supervision requires specialised training and

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qualification all of us with natural human empathy and common
sense can be supporters if we follow these suggestions.

Gwyneth

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11. A Humorous Reply to an EFT Skeptic

Hi Everyone,

Skeptics are everywhere, especially regarding something as


astonishingly different as EFT. Gwyneth Moss, one of our EFT
Masters from the UK, encountered such a skeptic on a professional
email list and responded with an entertaining, light humor. I
thought you might find it useful.

Hugs, Gary

By Gwyneth Moss

Can you remember your reaction when you first heard about EFT?
Were you a skeptic? I was. When a hypnotherapist friend told me
that he was getting better results by tapping on people's faces and
was hardly doing any trance work any more my reaction was to
conclude that he was away with the fairies and to dismiss it
completely. Thankfully the universe kept on at me with EFT and
eventually I paid attention.

We all meet skeptics and our EFT enthusiasm can reach a brick wall.
Over the years I have been making attempts to spread the word of
EFT to the members of my psychotherapy professional body. One of
my postings to the association's e-mail group was greeted with this
response; its the old joke about the guy who goes to the shrink and
says that he thinks that he is a dog. Here it is and here is my reply.
I have found with skeptics that it is best to go with their view of
reality and then to tweak it slightly with some humour.

Dear Gwyneth,

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I wonder if EFT would have worked on this client I had the other
day, he came to see me quite agitated... I asked him to calm down
and tell me what I could do for him....he then went on to explain
that he had a strange delusion.....he believed himself to be a dog, a
spotted terrier to be precise...
I didn't know what to do so I asked him to take a seat and tell me
all about it...to my surprise he refused. I asked him why, he replied
"I'm not allowed up on the furniture!"

can you help?

best regards

****************************

Dear J

Our philosophy with EFT is to "try it on everything" and in true


Ericksonian fashion to respect and utilse the clients own reality and
experience. So regarding your client who believes himself to be a
spotted terrier...here is an outline of the approach that I might
take.

Me: Spot, what would make this session valuable for you?

Spot: I'd like to be able to sit on that sofa and feel ok

Me: Spot, what would you experience now if you were to sit on the
sofa?

Spot: I'd feel tense, scared and quite panicy

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Me: And would that be a little bit scared or a lot scared?

Spot: A lot

Me: Spot, I know a simple mind-body technique that has helped


both dogs and people. Now it looks daft and it feels silly and I don't
even know for sure if it will help you or not and what I do know is
that it is very quick and we will know in a few minutes if this is
going to be the way to help you. Would it be Ok to try this?

Spot: Yes fine

Me: Well lets just do it and then I can give you an explanation,
because after we do this you will be able to ask better questions
and I'll give better answers. OK Spot can you tap here and say
these words after me "Even though I feel scared and panic on the
sofa, I'm alright, I'm OK" that's right and now watch me and tap
where I tap and say these words as we tap "sitting on the sofa"
Great, now then Spot, could you climb up on the sofa and let me
know how you feel?

Spot: Well this is surprisingly Ok, no panic at all. Not scared


anymore. A bit guilty though. I remember one time I got muddy
paw marks all over the cushions and they shouted at me.

Me: Ok Spot, sit there and lets do some more tapping "Even though
I got mud on the cushions and they shouted at me, I accept myself,
I'm Ok" and now tap where I tap and say "Mud on the cushions"
and here "They shouted at me"

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J, I suggest you simply continue with Spot, tapping on whatever
aspect or emotion arises until he feels quite comfortable on the
sofa. In the next session, or when he is ready to, you can address
his species identity confusion, if it is still a problem for him.

hope that helps

best regards

Gwyneth

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12. Two Cats and a Puppy

Hi Everyone,

EFT Master Gwyneth Moss from the UK helps us understand (1) how
well EFT works for animals and (2) the power of surrogate EFT.
Note how this was all done in a workshop setting where the animals
were not even present.

Hugs, Gary

By Gwyneth Moss, EFT Master

Dear Gary,

I’d like to share three very special and moving EFT experiences.
People often ask me if they can use EFT to help their pets. So I tell
them yes. And because animals don’t always like to be tapped on
and because we may not be sure where their tapping points are, it
is helpful to use surrogate tapping.

Now, for some of us, especially those who are Reiki trained, the
concept of healing at a distance is nothing new. And those with a
homeopathy background are accustomed to treating animals. But
for me with my scientific upbringing it always seemed a step too far
to use EFT at a distance for an animal. And so it was with more
than a little uncertainty that I built into my EFT workshops a group
exercise to tap as surrogates for an animal. I need not have
worried as the results have been little short of astounding.

In each of these three amazing cases a group of 12 tapped together


for a pet known only to one of them. The one who knew the pet

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acted as the pet (mentally stepped into the pet’s body) and I acted
as therapist leading the “pet” through EFT. The others in the group
tapped along with us, repeating the words we used and borrowed
benefits for themselves as well. For the set up phrases we used
whatever words came to the person speaking for the pet or to me
as therapist and then added something about the pet being loved,
safe and cared for. Each of these cases took about 15-20 minutes
of tapping.

Oscar's shaking tail

In September the group tapped for Oscar. Sue Ashdown was


offering a temporary home to Oscar (the cat of a friend of hers)
who, due to changing circumstances, was unable to look after him.
Sue was worried about Oscar - his tail and whole rear quivered and
shook and he stumbled as he walked and sometimes fell. Her three
other cats would not eat with him and he was generally in poor
condition.

We tapped as a group with Sue leading us and speaking as Oscar


"Even though my tail shakes, I'm a good cat and Sue and Dawn
love me" "Even though I don't know where I live I'm a good cat
and these people care about me" and more, Sue was "guessing" at
Oscar's emotional state and events that had happened to him just
came to her. The words “came from nowhere” she said with
surprise. After about 15 minutes of tapping, Sue felt a deep sense
of calm and we tapped a round of “I am Sue” to separate her
energy connection with Oscar.

When Sue got home from the workshop she found that Oscar's tail
was no longer shaking, he was walking better, not falling, the other
cats were much more relaxed with him and he with them and they

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were all eating together. Its now December (3 months later) and
Sue confirms that these improvements are sustained.

Kitten the 'Scare-dy Cat'

A few weeks later another group of 12 tapped for a middle aged cat
who goes by the name of Kitten. Kitten’s owner is a friend of Moira
who spoke as Kitten and once again I acted as therapist and the
group tapped with us.

Kitten was a ‘scare-dy cat, very nervous, startled at any movement


and spent most of her time hiding upstairs. We started tapping
with “Even though I’m scared of footsteps I’m a good cat and Moira
loves me”. Then I asked Moira if she knew what had happened to
Kitten when she was a kitten. Moira didn’t know and so we made
up imaginary events. "Even though that man hurt me and I bit him
and I couldn't escape, that was then, this is now, I'm with good
people now, I’m safe now" “Even though footsteps remind me of
that man and I’m terrified there are good people around me now
and they love me”.

We tapped together as a group for about 15 minutes until Moira felt


a sense of deep calm. I asked her to picture Kitten and she
pictured her snuggled up all relaxed. When she got home Kitten’s
owner said "I don't know what's got into this cat, she's so much
calmer".

Weeks later Moira confirms that Kitten is much calmer, doesn’t


startle at footsteps and spends most of her time downstairs. It is
interesting that when she enquired of Kitten’s owner as to Kitten’s
early experiences she found out that Kitten had been the runt of the
litter and was raised in a chaotic household and her experiences had
probably been more of neglect than of cruelty. So even if Moira’s
imaginings were off track the tapping did the trick.

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Poppy: Destruction and Disruption

The third case is the most moving. Sue Hanisch told us of a


tragedy. Her brother and his wife have four young children, four
cats and until recently a vibrant and intelligent Border Collie named
Shadow who was like a fifth child. One morning in the summer,
Shadow was hit by a car and was so badly injured that she had to
be put to sleep. The raw and painful grief of the family was such
that they believed that no dog could ever replace Shadow.

Then they heard from a neighbor that a Jack Russell 6 month old
puppy was to be returned to the rescue centre because his new
owners could not handle him. The family felt sorry for the puppy
and agreed to take Poppy. Well Poppy proved to be more than a
handful and chewed the carpet, terrorized the cats, jumped and
barked and was constantly on red alert. Sue told us that this was a
turning point for the family, Poppy’s young life had brought hope
and if Poppy had to be returned to the rescue centre the children
would be inconsolable. However, Poppy’s behavior was causing
havoc.

So Sue "became Poppy" and I led the group. We started with the
behavior “Even though I bark and jump I’m a good dog and they
want to love me” then we went onto Poppy’s insecurity “Even
though I’ve been in three homes and I don’t know where I belong
and nobody wants me and I have to be noticed, the children love
me and want me to stay”. Then “Even though I’m scared I’m not
good enough its ok, this family loves me”. As we tapped Sue was
feeling Poppy’s emotions and feeling some shift but it wasn’t until it
came through me to offer “Even though I can’t be Shadow I can be
Poppy and Poppy is Poppy”. At this point it was like an electric
shock went through Sue and as we tapped that subsided to a deep
calm and she tapped a round of “I am Sue” to de-role herself.

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Sue visited her brother a week later. The front door was opened
and left open (previously Poppy would have rushed out barking and
jumping) as Sue walked into the kitchen she found Poppy curled up
in a basket, a quiet little angel. A month later Sue has reported
that Poppy has all the natural enthusiasm of any puppy of 6 months
and there is no more destruction and disruption. The cats are now
friends with Poppy who in her young fun way is helping the whole
family to heal.

In Conclusions

So, my conclusion is that if you want to use EFT to help an animal


or pet I would suggest that you find at least one other person to tap
with you. The one of you that knows the pet can then tune into the
feeling of the pet, or simply speak of what you know happened or
imagine what could have happened. If in doubt, guess. The other
then acts as EFT therapist, asking questions and leading/guiding
through the EFT process.

Having one of you manage the process frees the other of you to
manage the content and to be open to what comes to you without
having to think about the words. If you can find other people to tap
with you, then that’s even better, though there is no proof, my gut
feel is that these three cases were turbo charged by the action of
the group. Once you sense the work is done the person speaking
as the animal needs to de-role themselves by repeating and tapping
with “I am me” and saying their own name.

Happy Tapping,

Gwyneth

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13. "How do I Get That Good?"

Hi Everyone,

EFT Master Gwyneth Moss from the UK shares several helpful


concepts for improving your EFT skills.

Hugs, Gary

By Gwyneth Moss

One of my students recently watched Gary working with Kim on the


Borrowing Benefits DVDs. She turned to me and sighed “He’s an
artist! How do I get that good? Can I ever get that good?” Yes
you can. Yes.

Each of us when we first come to EFT starts with the needle-and-


thread that is the basic recipe. Then, though our own practice and
repeated observation of Gary and others at work, we learn the
simple stitches of the gentle techniques and the approaches to
trauma. We learn detective work to uncover aspects and core
issues and imaginative forms of testing to check our work. As
practice continues we further develop rapport, flexibility and
adaptability, we learn to use EFT over the phone and how to
introduce EFT to individuals and groups. Progressing and practicing
further we learn how to explain and teach these processes and skills
to others. Through the repetition of practice and the challenge of
real cases our skills develop into a channel through which art can
flow.

Any artist whether painter, potter, pianist or cook must practice and
practice and practice basic techniques until those get into the

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muscles and no longer require conscious thought. Art is created in
the paradox of simultaneously being present and being not
present. Any artist will tell you that in the moments of creativity
they are not there, they get out of the way and the inspiration
seems to come from nowhere, from beyond. However any art is
also totally individual: a product of that person’s unique qualities.
It is as if art flows though us and like light though a lens it is
colored and shaped by our uniqueness.

Dr Nick Baylis of Cambridge University says that “just about anyone


with average learning ability is quite capable of acquiring a
professional level of expertise in virtually any endeavor”. What
makes someone excel in the art of delivery of EFT is what makes
any great artist. So how do we get that good?

Lots of Determined Practice

Committed practice is the single most important factor in how good


we get at something. In practice we must be always aiming to
improve, stretching ourselves and working near the limits of our
comfort zone, neither too far beyond nor too far within our current
level. In EFT this means working with lots and lots of cases so that
the basic skills become second nature. Practice allows us to
appreciate human individuality and to develop the flexibility to work
in different ways with different people.

Patch Adams describes life as an endless repeating cycle of


Intention, Performance, and Feedback. Those developing artistry
pay crucial attention to Feedback. Clients may or may not give us
direct feedback and whether they choose to or not, we have to
review and appraise our work ourselves. Improvement is through
learning and learning is through experience so in every experience
we have to ask “what did I learn?” and “what would I change?” So

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show enthusiasm for feedback and don’t be afraid to try something
new or to stretch your comfort zone.

Dr Baylis says that 95% of us reach a plateau of competence after


the first 100 hours of practice and then our progress levels off as
we cease to challenge ourselves and remain well within our comfort
zone. This can often be because as complete beginners we are not
afraid of failure whilst once we start to develop some expertise we
fear the humiliation of “getting it wrong” and stop taking the risks
from which we learn. This plateau (which many reach at EFT level
2) is a rich mine of Writings on Walls and the 5% or so who are the
true artists will find the motivation to climb beyond the plateau by
clearing their own blocking beliefs. Any of us can do that, any of us
can be that 5% and if you don’t believe that, then start tapping.

My first therapy teacher Wilf Proudfoot said “I can teach you to be


safe; your clients will teach you to be effective”. I began to feel like
a competent and confident therapist after my first 1,000 hours of
client work but I didn’t do that on my own, it also took the several
hundred people who sought me out for help. A pianist can shut
themselves away with a piano to clock up the 10,000 committed
hours that make a professional. To get such practice in EFT we
have to convince others of its merits and attract them to us. So an
EFT artist also needs to be an artist of marketing and
communication either in establishing and maintaining a private
practice or in persuading an employer or not-for-profit agency to
accept something new and seemingly weird.

A Shining Passion

All this practice and practice-building requires a heart-felt, deep,


self motivating passion to fuel long hours of studying and
marketing, to overcome set backs and to communicate at every

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opportunity. Passion is fed by a curiosity for learning and new
experience and strengthened by enjoyment. Artists do EFT quite
simply because they love it and gain a deep pleasure from the
experience. Passion shines out of them and manifests as the
creativity and intuition that builds on the foundation of practice and
enables a truly individual style to emerge. Mohammed Ali said
“champions are not made in the gym; champions are made from
something they have deep inside them – a desire, a dream, a
vision”. Such passion comes from the heart and cannot be imposed
by the head.

When we are working at the peak of our abilities and passion we are
working from our strengths. Positive Psychology the brain-child of
Professor Martin Seligman identifies 27 signature strengths of which
we each exhibit three primary strengths and several secondary
strengths. I would encourage all who want to become EFT artists to
take the signature strengths questionnaire on the Authentic
Happiness website and to build on their own individual strengths in
their work with EFT.

Once they have developed competence and confidence in applying


EFT, artists begin to play with their own ideas and to innovate.
Creativity flourishes and artists develop their own ways of
introducing EFT, their own reframes and their own teaching tools.
Or they find specialties in working with children or cancer care or
some such population where they feel at home and have a
passionate vision for the possibilities of EFT.

A Rich Learning Environment

Developing skill in EFT is not done alone and artists have an


insatiable hunger for learning. As well as the many clients who
teach how to be effective, EFT artists surround themselves in a rich

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learning environment. They watch Gary Craig’s DVDs over and
over. They trawl the internet and keep thick files of articles. They
go to workshops with different trainers and train in the related fields
of NLP and psychotherapy. They read widely on human nature,
psychology, philosophy (a rich source of reframes), spirituality and
physics. They develop and maintain a spiritual practice that
steadies and centers and expands consciousness. As we get
ourselves out of the way and the healing art flows through us, it
picks up fragments of this diversity of learning and experience that
enriches our unique human filter.

EFT artists attract each other and become friends and tapping-
buddies who offer support and encouragement and work on each
others issues. They put themselves in learning environments like
one of my trainees who walked into an Alzheimer’s society meeting
and said, initially unsure of herself, “I think I can help” and has
since proved it.

Supporting Artistry

I help those who come to me for EFT Training to continue to learn


after the workshops and to develop the habit of learning, by
building a coaching program into the initial training. This requires
them to do three assignments and to call me after each one. In the
calls I stress that I am not an assessor but a learning coach and I
ask them to tell me what they learned from the assignment and
then do all that I can to make the calls enjoyable. We discuss the
learning and I encourage them with further possibilities of
continuing that learning. The third of their assignments is to do a
Palace of Possibilities session for themselves: to identify and clear a
Writing on their Walls. This assignment and the coaching call are
designed to give them the know-how and motivation to climb
beyond the learning plateau and to keep heading towards artistry.

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So how do you get that good? You get that good through
determined practice, shining passion and learning partnerships.
And like climbing a mountain – you just keep going!

Gwyneth Moss

(and if you read this far – well done!)

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