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Football Quotes
Football is, after all, a wonderful way to get rid of your aggressions without
going to jail for it. ~Heywood Hale Brown
Let’s face it, you have to have a slightly recessive gene that has a little
something to do with the brain to go out on the football field and beat your
head against other human beings on a daily basis. ~Tim Green
You have to play this game like somebody just hit your mother with a two-
by-four. ~Dan Birdwell
Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors.
~Frank Gifford
If you’re mad at your kid, you can either raise him to be a nose tackle or
send him out to play on the freeway. It’s about the same. ~Bob Golic
At the base of it was the urge, if you wanted to play football, to knock
someone down, that was what the sport was all about, the will to win
closely linked with contact. ~George Plimpton
Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a
baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? ~Jim Bouton
American football makes rugby look like a Tupperware party. ~Sue Lawley,
1985
When I went to Catholic high school in Philadelphia, we just had one coach
for football and basketball. He took all of us who turned out and had us run
through a forest. The ones who ran into the trees were on the football
team. ~George Raveling
The reason women don’t play football is because eleven of them would
never wear the same outfit in public. ~Phyllis Diller
College football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that
bullfighting does to agriculture. ~Elbert Hubbard
There are two kinds of people in the world, Notre Dame lovers and Notre
Dame haters. And, quite frankly, they’re both a pain in the ass. ~Dan
Devine, former Notre Dame football coach
The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I’ve ever seen that I didn’t have to clean.
~Erma Bombeck
Beer and Rugby are more or less synonymous. ~Chris Laidlaw, 1973
I have seen women walk right past a TV set with a football game on and –
this always amazes me – not stop to watch, even if the TV is showing
replays of what we call a "good hit," which is a tackle that causes at least
one major internal organ to actually fly out of a player’s body. ~Dave Barry
I like to believe that my best hits border on felonious assault. ~Jack Tatum
He was the only man I ever saw who ran his own interference. ~Steve
Owen, about Bronko Nagurski
There are several differences between a football game and a revolution. For
one thing, a football game usually lasts longer and the participants wear
uniforms. Also, there are usually more casualties in a football game. The
object of the game is to move a ball past the other team’s goal line. This
counts as six points. No points are given for lacerations, contusions, or
abrasions, but then no points are deducted, either. Kicking is very
important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even
kick the ball, occasionally. ~Alfred Hitchcock
Men are clinging to football on a level we aren’t even aware of. For
centuries, we ruled everything, and now, in the last ten minutes, there are
all these incursions by women. It’s our Alamo. ~Tony Kornheiser
Speed is not your fastest, but your slowest man. No back can run faster
than his interference. ~Jock Sutherland
When it comes to football, God is prejudiced – toward big, fast kids. ~Chuck
Mills
Football players, like prostitutes, are in the business of ruining their bodies
for the pleasure of strangers. ~Merle Kessler
The tactical difference between Association Football and Rugby with its
varieties seems to be that in the former the ball is the missile, in the latter
men are the missiles. ~Alfred E. Crawley, The Book of the Ball, 1913