marriage is a sacred bond between two souls, a relationship in which a male and a female promise to be companions

for a life span after tying the nuptial knot. It brings significant stability and security in the relationships of human
beings, which is otherwise incomplete. It is not only a union of two human beings but also of two families. Marriage to
some extent cannot be successful without the blessings and consent of the members of the family. It doesn't matter
whether it is a love marriage or an arranged marriage, the success of this relationship is all that matters.

India has always had a long tradition of arranged marriages where the parents find the right match for their children.
Due to our social structure, arranged marriages are more prevalent in our society and on the other hand, love
marriages are considered as a taboo amongst people. The main reason behind this act of parents is to get their
children married within the same cast, and also into good families. Honestly, there is nothing wrong with arranged
marriages as long as the children are happy. On the other hand parents must understand their children if they love
someone and want to go for a love marriage. Sometimes the children do not kknow what is right or wrong for them
and in that case parents are forced to take drastic steps. Parents need to understand their children and children need
to understand their parents point of view before any step is taken. Both love marriage and arranged marriage escorts
with their own pros and cons. Here are some positive and negative points in both types of marriages:-

Arranged Marriages offer security for women since they have their family backup whereas love marriages provide
freedom and more independence. In love marriages, since the boy and the girl know each other for a long time, they
know what to expect from one another, they are aware of each others weaknesses and strengths before tying the
sacred knot. They get time to explore things related to each other's nature, well before wedding. Hence it makes
easier to develop a decent comfort level after marriage, with ease and thereby helps them to survive throughout the
rocky phases of life. On the other hand, when a marriage is arranged by the parents, the two people do not know
much about each other, they learn about and discover each other after marriage, sometimes their likes and dislikes
might not match but it is too late by then. If all goes well then a love marriage can turn out to be a blessing else, it can
be a disaster in which mainly the women have to suffer. In a love marriage the boy not only loves but also respects
his partner whereas in most arranged marriages the female is only treated as a commodity that may be loved bot not
necessarily respected.

In the above discussion love marriage has scored more than arranged marriage but here is a downfall of love
marriage. There is one key to making a successful marriage that is probably one of the hardest things in the world to
do. It's called compromise. In case of love marriage, since they have fallen in love before getting married, the level of
expectations is at the higher end. And if the person expects more from his/her partner, this leads to lesser
compromises. On the other hand, in case of arranged marriages, compromise and adjustments are the two major
foundation pillars, because the married couple does not have any unbending notions from each other. The
compromise factor might work wonders here, while in love marriages, that might prove to be yet another cause for
clash. In a love marriage the boy and the girl have mostly seen the best of each other and so the expectations are
very high from one another but the worst of each other is yet to come and when it comes, it leads to a disaster.
Therefore the rate of divorce in love marriages has been constantly going up whereas arranged marriages are still
being able to survive and rarely reach the point of divorce.

Due to this factor, people consider arranged marriage as enduring and a cut above love marriage. This is such a
topic, on which the discussion can go boundless. The bottom line is that be it an arranged marriage or a love
marriage, both of the partners should realize that your spouse is not always going to be perfect. But tell your spouse
every day that you love and appreciate him/her. There is no clear answer about which one is better than the other, it
all depends on your personal circumstances and personality. However, a love marriage turned into an arranged one
is the best thing that can happen. If a love marriage gets the consent of the family members as well then it can really
turn into a beautiful relationship. At the same time arranged marriages can also be successful if both the girl and the
boy are given the freedom to spend some time together and to decide for themselves if they one to get married to the
person or not, after all, it is them who have to spend their whole lives together. Love, trust, loyalty, patience, respect,
understanding, appreciating are some of the keywords of a successful marriage, if all this is their in a marriage then
be it an arranged marriage or a love marriage, it is bound to be a happy and a everlasting one.
WHERE LOVE, RESPECT AND APPRECIATION ARE OPENLY EXPRESSED, THAT HOME IS THE
HAPPIEST ONE- SO PLEASE PUT YOUR BEST TO SAVE YOUR PRECIOUS MARRIAGE.

Whenever we talk of Indian wedding, we try to associate it with arranged marriages. Due to the social
structure, the concept of arranged marriage is prevalent in the Indian wedding scenario, since ages. On
the other hand, love marriages were considered as a taboo among many Indian people, who do not have
a modern outlook of life. For them, two people should tie the wedding knot only with the consent of their
parents and the blessings of their relatives.

Nonetheless, love marriages are prevalent in almost all the societies of India, given the fact that they are
still considered inferior to the weddings arranged by many parents in the country. People supporting the
concept of love marriage strongly believe that it is very important to know the partner before marrying
him/her. On the other hand, people who believe in solemnizing the wedding with the permission of
parents and relatives think that arranged marriages are long lasting. In this article, we have discussed
love marriage vis-à-vis arranged marriage.

Pros & Cons of Love Marriage and Arranged Marriage

When it comes to love marriage, the two people tie the nuptial knot only after falling in love with each
other and probably, after knowing each other for a long time. They get ample time to explore both the
good and the bad things about each other, well before marriage. This helps them to develop a good
comfort level after marriage, very effortlessly. On the other hand, if two people do not know much about
each other, when their marriage is arranged by their parents, then they might take some more time to
develop a level of comfort, understanding after marriage. Here, love marriage scores more than arranged
marriage in this case.

It is said that compromise is a factor that decides whether the marriage would work out or not. In case of
love marriage, people might expect more from their partner, largely because they have fallen in love
before marriage. This leads to lesser compromises, as the person expects more from his/her partner. On
the other hand, compromise and adjustments form the foundation of arranged marriage, largely because
the married couple does not have any preconceived notions or expectations from one another. The
compromise factor might work wonders in case of most of the arranged marriages, while in love
marriages, that might prove to be yet another cause for altercation. Due to this factor, people consider
arranged marriage as long lasting and better than love marriage.

In case of arranged marriage, the married couple could resort to their parents or acquaintance at the time
of financial crises or other problems. In addition, if the marriage proves to be a failure, they have a
number of people around them to put seek support or to put the blame on. Their parents would come
forward to solve the problems between the couple, if they have married with the elder's consent. This is
the reason why arranged marriages are considered secure for the people in India.

On the other hand, the couples who have solemnized love marriage would have to tackle all their crises
on their own, because they might have been separated from their family. Resentment drives the parents
and the relatives to remain dormant in case the married couple wants any financial or moral support - a
common sight seen in love marriages in India. Due to this factor, many people do not want to marry
without their parent's consent, because they would be ultimately cut off from the family ties.

Recently I was watching a television biography of a famous female artiste who was bulimic. This made
me think about arranged and love marriages from a women's perspective.

The usual opinion is that arranged marriages happen only in the east but this was not always so arranged
marriages were happening even in Victorian Europe. With the industrial revolution and the end of the 2
world wars people's attitudes and perceptions started changing as women started to join the workforce
and they started to demand for their rights. In England for example most of the kings and queens had
arranged marriages up until King George V the present Queen Elizabeth's father broke tradition by
marrying a commoner. Besides popular love lore like Soni Mahiwal, India always had a long tradition of
arranged marriages. With the advent of the British, and the subsequent introduction of British education
system more Indians got educated. These educated Indians in turn started to send their children to school
and tried to educate their wives at home. The cause of women's education and rights were also very
much espoused by our social reformers. In spite of this the institution of arranged marriage persisted.
Education and exposure to the media, started to make people to think and realize they need not be bound
by tradition and they can choose their own marital partners without having to rely on parents,
matchmakers, relatives or having to consult astrologers. This gave rise to love marriages. Currently in our
country we have arranged as well as love marriages taking place.

Before I launch further into this article, I want to briefly explain bulimia and anorexia nervosa two
conditions which afflict mainly women in the west and which form the basis for this article.

Anorexia Nervosa
In this condition teenage girls go on a diet to attain a slim figure. They are inspired by fashion models
and long to emulate them. They go to extreme lengths to achieve their ideal to the extent of starving
themselves. Anorexics can't seem to get over the feeling that they are big, and eat less and less to
achieve their goal. Some anorexics need to be hospitalized and administered intravenous fluids. This is a
mental illness, which needs to be treated at both the mental and physical level.

Bulimia
Bulimia is more common among older women. Women suffering from this type of condition have been
known to eat and stuff themselves till they get sick and then throw all of that up. This way they feel
psychologically satisfied that they have not only satisfied their food cravings but have also avoided putting
on unnecessary weight. Bulimics have been known to consume as much as 3 bowls of cereal, 4 bars of
chocolate, 3 packs of cookies, 1 steak, 2 bowls of fruit, 3 bars of ice-cream half a gallon of milk in one
sitting. One famous example of a bulimic person is the late Princess Diana. This is a more serious
condition from anorexia since it involves binge eating and throwing up which is unhealthy.

It is argued that love marriages offer more independence and freedom as compared to arranged
marriages where the girl/boy is chosen by the parents so there is pressure to conform to parental
expectations like producing a male heir, taking part in family rituals and traditions, putting up with sisters-
in-laws, contributing to family expenses etc. One of the usual questions against an arranged marriage is
that how can you marry somebody you don't know. Knowing somebody before marriage allows partners
to have better respect and understanding for each other's needs and desires. This way they are better
adjusted in the marriage when they finally take their wedding vows.

Not all love marriages have happy endings. Sometimes discord arises even in love marriages. In the west
girls who are fat find it difficult to find suitable dates. There is pressure on the women to conform to
conventional male ideas of beauty where women have to be tall and slim with hourglass figures. These
kinds of attitudes and perspectives have not only created the kinds of conditions which I described above
but are also responsible for women suffering a lot of pain and rejection. Beauty contests and the popular
Barbie doll with its model of a doll with supermodel's figure have been accused of reinforcing this mindset.
These kinds of pressures would just increase as society gets more modern and technology advances.
Then, would women who refuse to conform get left behind? This made me wonder for a moment that
maybe society should switch back to arranged marriages from love marriages since this pursuit for
perfection in beauty would increase as society changes. On the positive side all this has also led to the
feminist movements in the west. Women have come out of the closet refusing to be mere sexual objects
pandering to male ideas of beauty.

Coming to arranged marriages, they offer more protection, security to the women. There is not much
pressure on the women to look like models. Parents employ maturity and wise judgment when choosing
suitable spouses for their children. Sometimes it helps to rely on another person's opinion and experience
when selecting one's partner especially when the people marrying are young and need guidance and
advice in marrying a suitable person.
This does not mean arranged marriages are the ideal sort of marriages. Having an arranged does not
mean that the married couple remains happily ever after or that there is harmony in the relationship.
Women have been known to stay on in abusive relationships for the sake of family pride, respect in
society etc. Even in an arranged marriage there is a different sort of pressure to be fair-skinned and
beautiful. In India the evil of dowry, caste and community issues and the concept of matching horoscopes,
sometimes taken to its extreme levels have contributed much to the argument against arranged
marriages.

It becomes difficult therefore to predict the ideal sort of marriage. So ultimately it is up to the individual to
decide whether he wants to have a love or an arranged marriage after all it is a question of being happy in
love

In the 1940’s, my grandmother was married off at the age of 13 to a man twice her age. In the span of a
few short years, she gave birth to her first daughter and was pregnant with a boy. She remained with my
grandfather until he passed away in the mid-1980’s. To this day, my grandmother has not remarried. My
question is what is better: arranged marriages or love marriages?

Although a pragmatic marriage, otherwise known as an arranged marriage, does not give much control
over the selection of one’s future spouse, both parties do, in fact, consent to the union. In some cultures,
families choose one another based on a mutual interest in property, land or the aim of securing social
status. In this way, the arranged marriage can be considered a business merger or even an alliance
between two families.

Relying on family to select a potential spouse can be considered an advantage as they have years of
wisdom and experience. The family wants to provide their children with protection, security and
happiness. However, does this system guarantee their children a happily-ever-after? It is a fact that
women remain in abusive relationships to maintain their family pride and respect. On the other hand, my
mother and father married under this tradition and have been happily married for 26 years.

Love marriages are ideally based on friendship, respect, familiarity and understanding, unlike arranged
marriages in which you marry a stranger with whom you have no history or bond with. In the beginning of
every dynamic relationship, there is the “getting-to-know-you” phase where people feel out their
boundaries and discover the other’s pet peeves, quirks, and overall personality. Although love alone does
not keep the ship afloat, it gives way to wanting to learn more about the significant other and wanting to
invest in a relationship during the inevitable trials and tribulations. However, the time and privacy that is
necessary for two people to learn more about one another is not afforded in certain cultures. Conservative
countries frown upon males and females courting, unless they are officially engaged.

In my opinion, a successful unity between two people requires willingness, compromise, love and
dedication. These aspects can be found in either type of marriage. Although my parents’ marriage was
arranged, they would never dream of arranging mine. My parents began as friends, and then they
developed a deep love for one another. However, they actually fell in love only ten years ago.

I recall asking my mother if that was her intention for me. She responded, “Who is going to marry him, you
or me?”

ducation and media played a vital role in changing the perception of the Indian mind. Love marriage is
supposed to provide freedom and more independence as compared to arranged marriages where the
girl/boy is chosen by the parents. The usual question of love marriage voters against arranged one is that
how can anyone marry the person whom they don’t know?

Amid popular love lore like Soni Mahiwal, India always had a long tradition of arranged marriages. With
the advent of the British and the subsequent introduction of British education system more Indians got
educated. Education and exposure to the media, started to make people to think and realize they need
not be bound by tradition and they can choose their own marital partners without having to rely on
parents, matchmakers, relatives or having to consult astrologers. This gave rise to love marriages.
Currently in our country we have arranged as well as love marriages taking place.

If we start comparing love and arranged marriages we will see that both has certain pros and cons. If we
talk about the love marriages first, it provides time for a mutual understanding between the partners which
is needed for any successful relation. Knowing somebody before marriage allows partners to have better
respect and understanding for each other’s needs and desires. This way they are better adjusted in the
marriage when they finally take their wedding vows. In arrange marriages, there is a pressure to conform
to parental expectations like producing a male heir, taking part in family rituals and traditions, putting up
with sisters-in-laws, contributing to family expenses etc. Lovers have to try hard if their parents don’t
agree with the relation. That is why it is said that Love is not an easy way out!

As the partners are happy with their spouse and its their own decision to marry him/her, love marriages
should be successful but not all love marriages have happy endings. Sometimes discord arises even in
love marriages. After spending a happy time of marriage, the same couple can be seen regretting on their
decisions. They found hard to save the marriage and at last have to break up. If they them self chosen
their partner and had a perfect tuning then why this unhappy end of the relation after marriage?

Perhaps to avoid this kind of ending, now-a-days youngsters prefer arranged marriages. It is thought that
arranged marriages happen only in the east but this was not always so arranged marriages were
happening even in Victorian Europe. The best part in an arranged marriage is that parents and the family
is happy and they them self arrange the marriage. There is no tears and no battle for their permission.
Arrange marriage offer more protection and security to the women. There is not much pressure on the
women to look like models. Parents employ maturity and wise judgment when choosing suitable spouses
for their children.

Caste system gave birth to arrange marriages, as the upper caste families didn’t want their children to
marry outside their community and caste. In some case, by love marriage people lost all things like
parents, society and religion. But after World War II and industrial revolution people’s perception started
changing and they became familiar with the concept of love marriages. Slowly but steadily, love
marriages are acceptable in Indian society also.

To decide which one is ideal is an unending debate. Love or arranged both is based on empathy,
responsibility, commitment, love and concern. A marriage needs a lot of dedication and effort to sustain
the relation.

So there is nothing like an ideal marriage it’s all about the way you perceive your marriage. The target is
the happiness and stability of the relation in the marriage whether it is love or arranged.