2 sardaron ko 2 bomb mile,

1st Sardar: chal police ko de k aate hain.

2 sardar: agar koi bomb raaste me phat gaya to?

1st sardar: jhoot bol denge ki 1 hi mila tha

Sardar and Police

Police: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phaasi di jayegi.

Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Police: Kyon hasn rahe ho?

Sardar: Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hun.

Doctor And Sardar .

Sardar 2 doctor: Mujhe 1 problem hai

Dr: Kya?

Sardar: Baat karte waqt aadmi dikhai nahi deta

Dr: aisa kab hota hai?

Sardar: Phone karte waqt

Sardar and Home

Man: Sardar jee aap ko garmi lagti hai to kya karte ho?

Sardar: AC k paas ja k baith jata hun

Man: Agar phir bhi garmi lage to?

Sardar: To A/C on kar leta hun

Sardar and prayer

A sardar prays daily for 2 hours,

"He Vahe Guru meri lottery lagade."

After 11 years Vahe Guru angrily appeared & said,"Khoti de puttar 1 vari ticket to le le"

The real

Ek sardar ki chatri me hole tha,

kisine pucha, umbrella me hole kyun?

Sardar bola, Oye baarish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega

Sardar and Hitler

Hitler says, "There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary"

Sardar says: Ab bolne se kya faayda? "Jub kharidi thi tab hi check karna tha na"

Sardarand Computer

Sardar: Yaar mujhe 1 hathora or keel chahiye computer k liye.

Sales man: Magar computer me inka kya kaam?

Sardar: Oye yaar mujhe computer me windows lagani hai.

Two Sardars

1st sardar: oye agar neend na aaye to kya kia jaaye?

2nd Sardar: Neend ka intizar karne se achha hai ki banda so hi jaye

1 sardar rail ki patri per so gaya .

1 aadmi ne kaha kya kar rahe ho? Train aayegi to mar jaoge!

Sardar: Mere uper se hawai jahaaz guzar gaya to kuch nahi hua, train kya cheez hai?

Sardar and Practical Exam

In bio practical:

Examiner: Tell me the name of this bird by seeing its legs only?

Sardar: I don't know.

Examiner: You are failed, what's your name?

Sardar: See my legs & tell my name

Sardar: My mobile bill how much?

Call centre girl: Sir, just dial 123 to know current bill status

Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.

Sardar built 2 Swimming Pools. And he left one of them unfilled?

When asked him, he said,

"Oye, that's for those who don't know Swimming.

Sardar: I think that girl is deaf.

Friend: How do u know?

Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals (Shoes) are new

Sardar: Miss, Did u call me on my mobile?

Teacher: Me? No, why?

Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- 1 Miss Call".

Judge: Don't U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court.

Sardar to judge: U R coming daily, don't U have shame?

Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?

Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE.

Sardar in airplgane going to Bombay . While its landing he was excited and

shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "

Air hostess said: "B silent."

Sardar: "Ok. Ombay. Ombay"

Sardar got a sms from his girl friend: "I MISS YOU"

Sardarji replied: "I Mr. YOU" !!.

Husband Vs. Wife

Woh kaun thi

Husband Aur Wife Hotel Me Gaye Tabhi 1 Lady Ne

Hello Kiya,

Wife- Koun Thi Wo?

Hus-Tum Dimag Kharab Mat Karo, Main Pehle Hi Pareshan Hu Ki Woh Bhi Yehi Puchegi

wife hit her husband with frying pan

Husband: What was that for.....?

Wife: I found a paper in your pocket

with the name Jenny on it...

Husband: I took part in a race last week and Jenny was the name of my horse.

Wife: Sorry..!

Next day wife hit him with the frying pan again

Husband: What now..?

Wife: Your horse is on the Phone.

Message of the year

Women live a better, longer & peaceful life...!!

Why? Very simple…

A woman does not have a wife....!!!

Wife came home with a goat.

Husband asked"Is bhains ko ghar kion lai ho?"

Wife:"Dikhta nahin, bakri hy!"

Husband:"Bakri se hi poch raha hon"

Man: Sir, my wife is missing.

Postmaster:bhai ye post office hai, police station me complain dijiyee.

Man:Kya karon, khushi k mare kuch samajh nahin aa raha

Why did u shoot ur wife ? This is the best......

Judge:why did u shoot ur wife, instead of shooting her lover?

Sardar:Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.

Husband:rat ko mene 1 horror movie dekhi, 1 chudeil kabhi mere agey

kabhi piche aur kabhi sath chal rahi thi,

Wife:Kaun si movie thi?

Husband:Apni shadi ki

Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -

What will come first, Chicken or egg?

O Yaar, whatever U order first, will come first.

A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.. All were busy writing except
one Sardarji.

He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet

Sardar: - why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it....

A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.

Judge asked: How'll U divide your kids, U"VE 3 children?

Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR

Sardar's wish: when I die, I wana die like my Grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not Screaming like
all d passengers in d car he was Driving..

A man: "Sardarji, tell me, why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the evening not in the
morning?"Sardarji: ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.

The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies.

Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend's last Words.

And finds It means "U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!"

Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.

His wife asked what you are doing.

He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.

Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?Guess what...

To avoid side effects!!!

Lawyer to Sardar: "Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke...... "

Sardar :"Yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir gita pe haath!!"

A Sardar saw a beautiful girl... He went and kissed her....

Girl said- "What R U doing...?"

Sardar replied- " B.COM from Khalsa college, Chandigarh "

Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me.

I don't know how she got my no, she interrupts whenever I call someone and says "please recharge your
card"

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was
wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she
was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For Best Results put on Two Coats"

A sardar was drawing money from ATM,

The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). "

The first sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258"

Q:) How do U recognize a sardar in school or College???

A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard... BOLO
tarara!!
Q:) Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale?

A:) Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept........

Santa Singh MBBS

After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his Own practice.

He checked his first patient's Eyes, then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch. Finally he said
Battery is Ok !!!

> Santa: I have swallowed a key.

> Doctor: When?

> Santa: 3 months back!

> Doctor: What were you doing till now?

> Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.

>

> *********

> Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5

> days ago, he hasn't come back yet!

> Santa: Why don't u cook something else?

>

> *********

> A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. Santa

> doesn't turns up for 4 days.

> Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since

> 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.

>

> ***********

> Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went

> there. You know why?

> Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..

>

> ***********

> Ultimate answer while changing the job.

> Interviewer: Why did you change your last job?

> Santa: Because the company shifted and didn't tell me

> where.

>

> ************

> Santa's wife dies. He is calm, but his wife's lover

> is crying furiously...

> Finally, Santa consoles him: Don't worry buddy, I will

> marry again.

>

> ************

> Why did Santa keep the door open while bathing?

> Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the

> key hole.

>

> **************

>
> Sardar wanted to make a STD. call to Punjab,

> He wanted to save money so what did he do?

> Simple, he went to Punjab and made a local call.

>

> ========================================

> Oye paaji, apni pregnant wife ko itne dard mein hospital ki

> jagah pizza hut kyun leja raha hai........

> Sardarji: Kyun key pizza hut mein "Delivery Free"

> hai.

>

> ==============================================

> A Sardar enters shop shouts, Where is my free gift with

> this oil?

> Shopkeeper: Iske Saath koi gift nahin hai bhai saab **

> � ?o

> Sardar : Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE.

>

> =================================================

> One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born

> in this village?

> Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

>

> =================================================

> Teacher: A for?

> Sardar: Apple

> Teacher: Jor se bolo?

> Sardar: Jay mata di.

>

> =================================================

> American says: " US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti

> hai.."

> Sardarji says: " India me to.. shaadi Fe-mail se hoti

> hai...!!!"

>

> =================================================

> Sardar orders pizza.

> Waiter: Sir shud i cut it into 4 pieces or into 8 pieces?

> Sardar: 4 hi karde 8 khaye nahi jayenge

>

> =======================================================

> Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.

> Santa: Who r u?

> Girl: Seeta here.

> Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya

> mil gaya

>

> =========================================================

> Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?

> Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har

> baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.
>

> ==============================================

> Pathan sitting on the top of the mountain and studying.

> When a person asked what he was doing?

> He replied, Oye! Higher studies yaar.

>

> ==============================================

> 2 sardars were fighting after exam.

> Sir: Y r u fighting?

> 1st Sardar: This fool left the answer sheet blank,

> Sir: So what?

> 1st Sardar: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will

> think that we

> both copied.

>

> ==============================================

> A sardar learning english introduces his family in the

> party:

> Hi! I am sardar,

> this is my sardarni,

> he is my kid,

> & she is my kidney.

>

> ==============================================

> Sardar 1: I'm very kanjoos, I went 2 honeymoon alone

> & saved 1/2 money.

> Sardar 2: You r nothing I saved all my money, my friend was

> going & I

> sent my wife with him.

Agent: What is your father's name in english?Santa: Beautiful red underwearAgent: R u joking?Santa:
No, my father's name is Sunder Lal ChaddaNapoleon: There is no such word as 'Impossible' in my
dictionary.

Santa: Toh dictionary dekh kar kharidni thi....!Ek baar Santa Gangubai ke ghar jaata hai aur darwaza
knock karta hai.Gangubai: Kaun ?Santa: Main !Gangubai: Main kaun?Santa: Tu Gangubai

An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?Santa: Gud evening,
we open the zip and do.Banta ped pe chada

to upar baithey Bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?Banta: Apple khane.Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped
hai.Banta: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hoon.

Pappu while filling up a form: What should I write against mothertongue.?Santa: Very long.....!Nurse:
Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.Santa: Meri wife ko

nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. Santa does not turns up
for4 days.Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press

the bell but no one comes out.Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago,
hehasn't come back yet!Santa: Why don't u cook something elseSanta: Itne kam

marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh
rakhahai.While walking in the highlands Santa fell down a deep hole.Banta: R u ok?

Santa: Yeah!Banta: Did u break anything?Santa: No, there's nothing down hereSanta was riding on a
horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number
Note'

Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".Sardar thinks "how
poetic"

Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard".Sardar at bar in New York.Man on his right says "Johny

Walker single"Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"Sardar says - "Baljith Singh
Married"************ ********* ********* ********* ********Boss : am giving u job as a driver.
STARTING salary Rs..2000/-, is it o.k
Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but? ?how much is DRIVING salary...?************
********* ********* ********* ********Sardar's theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives
light at

night when light is needed & Sun gives light during the day when lightis not needed!!! ************
********* ********* ********* ********2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the

indicator and asks theother to check whether its working, he puts his head out and
saysYES...NO...YES. ..NO...YES. ..NO....************ ********* ********* ********* ********Sardar
shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do register marriageand cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday
whole day in the postoffice.... ************ ********* ********* ********* ********

Sardar is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, andsays, "chal", it walks.He cuts 2nd and 3rd
legs and said, "chal" , it walks.He cuts all the legs and said, "chal...." Finally he wrote the

conclusion.. .... ....... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomesdeaf......"

Sardar bought a new mobile.

He called everyone from his Phone Book & said "My Mobile No. has

changed. Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

Santa : I am a Proud Sardar, My son is in Medical College ...

Banta : Really, what is he studying,

Santa : No he is not studying, they are Studying him.

- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

What is Common between : Krishna , Ram, Gandhiji & Jesus..?

Sardar ji Replied : All are Born on Government Holidays.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

Santa falls in luv with a nurse...After much

thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

Pappu,

while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write for mother tongue.?

Santa: Very long!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ****

Santa went out to buy an Indian flag.

The shop owner gave him the flag.

Guess what did he ask next... Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ****

Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.

The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?

Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *****

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.

Santa: Hai.

Frog: Nahin hai.

Santa: Hai.

Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.

Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ****

Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.

The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.

Santa: I think I'll take the money.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *****

Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?

A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *****

Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.

Banta: Santa u'll die.

Santa: No, u'll die b'coz haven't u heard train is coming on platform?

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *****

Q: A Man a sked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "

A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ****

Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?

A: Because it was an entrance exam.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ****

What's Ford?

Santa: Gaadi.

What's Oxford ?

Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ****

Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.

Banta: He probably got a lot of applause when he got out.

Santa: I didn't say he got out.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ****

Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever

- What comes first - the chicken or the egg?

O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ****

Santa (reading from book of facts):

"Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?"

Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"