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Day 4 Day 5 Volume 2 Number 17

Discipline (paideia = instruct in turn from país


= child) means to provide instruction, with the intent
of coming to proper habits. Paideia is a broad term,
Instruction (Nouthesia from noutheteo =
literally "put in mind". It means literally putting in the
ENGAGED
mind and implies the teaching of the Lord's ways April 24 - 30
signifying whatever parents and teachers do to train, through His Word. It is any word of encouragement or
correct, cultivate and educate children, in order to reproof, which leads to correct behavior. It conveys
help them develop and mature as they ought. the idea of giving one counsel about avoiding or
Paideia has particular reference to child-training, ceasing an improper course of conduct.
carried out with both firmness and gentleness as The Houston police department years ago put out a
needed in each particular case. Parenting is tough. leaflet called “How to Ruin Your Children.” And it was
Most parents fall into one of these categories: too guaranteed to be 99 percent effective. In part, this is
tough or too gentle. The Gospel teaches us the what is said:
balance. A father should guide and correct his child. a) Principle #1—“Begin with infancy to give the child
As a ship's captain keeps his vessel on course, so a everything he wants.”
father is charged to keep his children on course. So b) Principle #2—“When he picks up bad words, laugh
often we spend inordinate amounts of time training at him.”
our children for worldly ventures; are we preparing c) Principle #3—“Never give him any spiritual
them for what really matters? What have you training. Let him wait until he’s twenty-one years old,
spoken into your children this week that will prepare and then let him decide for himself.”
them for His Kingdom? d) Principle #4—“Avoid using the word ‘wrong.’ It may
develop a serious guilt complex.” Ephesians 6:4
e) Principle #5—“Pick up everything he leaves lying
“And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to
around, so he will be experienced in throwing
Not only are we to “bring up” our children, but wrath, but bring them up in the training and
responsibility on everybody else.”
we are also to do it in a certain way. Notice that we are admonition of the Lord.”
Make a list of top 5 parenting principles you have
to bring them up in the “training and admonition” of the
learned or have been taught?
Lord. Our relationship to them, then, is to have a
certain quality of substance and a specific direction.
Training is to give them skills, and admonition is to Regret is a cruel companion, who we cannot shake
correct and fine-tune the way these skills are to be or leave behind. It may be that you feel your children have
used. We are to relate in a way that builds character already moved beyond your influence. But remember, you
and teaches them to relate to others, and to God, with will never move out of relationship with your children, even
this quality of character. It involves provision but also in the most strained of situations. It is impossible to do so. through
correction. Today, focus on providing that quality of So find hope in whatever stage you may be at with your
character as a guide, but also display it in all your children. Even if they are not yet born, if you will someday
relationships. The best teacher is one who lives what be a parent, you are already developing the character that
he teaches! will influence them, as you relate to them in the parent/child
relationship. But, if you are a parent of adult children, the
purifying effect of a closer walk with God will have a far
more powerful effect on your family than you can imagine.
In this verse there are many words used by Purpose in your heart today to pursue this closer walk. It
different translations. - To exasperate or provoke; do cannot help but impact those to whom you are connected!
not nag or arbitrarily assert authority.
The danger in the home is when there are parents
who are authoritarian, but they do not exercise Fathers, don't exasperate your children by coming
loving, spiritual authority. down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them
Parents, the question we need to ask ourselves in the way of the Master. The Message
is ‘do we exercise loving, spiritual authority?’
Day 1 Day 2 Day 3
In Colossians 3:21, Paul adds a phrase (may Provoke - parorgízo from pará = at point of, Bring them up ‘ektrepho from ek = out or
not lose heart) to this negative command. This ‘losing unto, implying movement toward a certain point + as an intensifier + trépho = nourish, rear, feed’
heart’ was a serious symptom of children during the First
century.
orgizo = to irritate or make angry. It means to means to nourish up to maturity, to nourish in
Fathers, do not exasperate (erethizo - cause to feel exasperate, which means to excite the anger of or to general, to nurture, to bring up from childhood, to
resentment, make bitter, excite to anger) your children, cause irritation or annoyance to. Frequently, abusing raise a child to maturity by providing, not just for
that they may not lose heart (athumeo from a= without + our God-given authority over children causes their physical but also for emotional and spiritual
thumos = passion -- means to become disheartened, and exasperation. Paul uses the present imperative with needs. Ektrepho means to provide food for, with
so lack motivation. The word implies losing heart, being a negative which can be translated ‘stop provoking
listless, spiritless, disinterested, moody and sullen, with a
the implication of a considerable period of time,
kind of blank resignation toward life). (See note - your children to anger’, implying that it was going on and the food being adequate nourishment.
Colossians 3:21). among the saved Gentile fathers. Not provoking them The present imperative indicates this is a
It is interesting to note that the first reference in the Bible to anger involves avoiding attitudes, words and command to be carried out as the father's
to teaching has to do with Abraham's responsibility to actions, which would drive a child to anger, lifestyle or habitual practice. It is to be
bring up his own son in the nurture and admonition of the exasperation or resentment. Children can be intentional. In a sense, he should always (even
Lord... (Genesis 18:19).
provoked to anger when the father makes when he is old and gray) be teaching them the
The negative side of the command is necessary because
in the ancient culture of both Gentile and Jewish unreasonable demands, when he is constantly fault wisdom God has taught him. Do you have a
households, the father often ruled the family in a rigid and finding, when he neglects his children (as did King parenting plan to bring your children out of
domineering manner, with little concern for the desires David - see 2Samuel 14-15), or when he is immaturity and into the discipline of the Lord or
and welfare of the wife and children. The gospel changed inconsistent. Is your parenting style speaking do you wing-it?
parenting and Paul reminds them of their new way of neglect, abuse or inconsistency to your children? By
living now, possibly because of the filling and
empowerment by the Holy Spirit. This concept would
the way, this is not a ‘what do you think’ question. It
have been revolutionary in the Roman Culture. is a ‘what would your children say?’ question.
Note that the Greek word for “fathers” is pateres (plural)
and although usually the word for the male head of the
family, it is sometimes used to speak of the parents, Raising children is a full-time
encompassing both the mother and father. It cannot be responsibility. Relating to them is seen almost as
overlooked that the responsibility for nurturing children in an add-on in this respect. Feeding, clothing,
the faith is dad’s responsibility. Obviously, mothers will educating and looking out for their future,
have much to do with the nurture and training but fathers sometimes makes us think we’ve done all we can
who relinquish this duty entirely to their wives, do so in The frustration in family relationships often
occurs because each individual in the family doesn’t do. But notice, this verse says to “bring them
clear violation of New Testament teaching.
see the goals in the same way. Notice today that up.” These words imply a “tender” growing or
these verses give a way to avoid the frustrations that rearing. The essence of this is to relate to them
We often stumble around in our relating to one provoke conflict. The model of Christ in His in a way that gives them a gentle but firm push in
another. We offend unwittingly, we frustrate by our relationships helps us steer clear of selfish interests, the way of the Lord, interacting with them in
narrowness or vague expectations. We expect people, every part of the process. The real joy of
and maybe especially our children, to understand what we
circular thinking and unachievable expectations.
Take time every week to look at the way Jesus parenthood is sharing life as a well rounded
mean even if we don’t make ourselves clear. There is a
hint of that in the first statement in Ephesians 6:4. The related to various individuals and groups, and take adult, given the joy and responsibility of shaping
warning about frustrating our children implies that the His relating as your model. a young life to know God, and to grow up to be
possibility is there. It may also mean that it WILL happen like Him. Are you relating in this way or simply
if we don’t guard against it. Begin to look at yourself “providing” for them?
objectively and remember, those to whom we relate only
see what we say and we do, not what we think or intend.

Resentment usually occurs when parents


Can we discipline Children without embittering impose unreasonable demands without concern for
them? Parents, I encourage you to talk about this the feelings of the children. Today parents, think Parents are to train their children to
together and go back and read Deut. 6:6-9. Paul about your relationship with your mother and father distinguish right from wrong in everyday life. But
warns fathers not to create resentment in their and when you were hurt over unreasonable this training should take place within the context
children. demands. of a loving, caring and forgiving relationship.