The Smartest

Way To Teach
Your Kids To Be
Patient

EDITOR JAMILAH SAMIAN

ARRANGE BY SHAZWAN AZMAN

1
Y ou might have read of many ways on
how to teach a child to be patient.
However, there is one way that experts
agree is THE BEST, THE SMARTEST and
THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAY to teach kids
to be patient.

It’s called ROLE MODELING.

It’s good to remember that kids hear what

you say but follow what you do. Simply
said, kids like to copy. For kids who have
mums and dads, they’ll naturally copy
what their mums and dads do. Because of
this, I’d like to share with you what I
learnt from my late father about patience.

Like you, I have read quite a bit about

being patient, but I can vouch that till
today, the lessons that I learnt from my
late father are the most powerful.

2
Let me tell you a little bit about my father.
The interesting thing about him was that
he was rarely around. He was by all
accounts an absent father. Well, almost.
He was never present during my cousins’
weddings, family get-togethers, family
dinners, even funerals of loved ones.
About the only time he was at home was
late in the evening. But even then, he
would be so exhausted to talk or entertain
his family.

Oh yes, other than that, there was Hari

Raya; the only time he would make a brief
appearance for the entire year. Even then,
it was only for a few hours to allow him to
go to the mosque for the Eid Prayer. Then
he would rush home, change into his
working gear and get back to work. This
was expected of my father. You see, my
father was a bus-driver. He had what
people call a ‘blue-collar’ job. He was paid
a minimum wage based on the hour. My
father was earning so little that he could
never afford to take breaks from his job.

3
Let me share with you two personal
stories how my father taught my siblings
and I about patience.

YOU NEED TO BE PATIENT TO GET

WHAT YOU WANT
When I was in secondary school, the
government introduced the book loan
scheme. The only requirement was that,
you needed to return the books at the end
of the year to the school so the younger
students may reuse them. If you’re lucky,
you get brand new books and if you
aren’t, you get second-hand ones.

I can still recall the day I told my father

about this program. I showed him the
form. He retorted, “You won’t participate
in this program for two reasons: First, if
you get second hand books, the pages
might be torn or have scribbles on them.
Second, even if you get brand new books,
you still have to return them. You can’t
keep them for revision next year. That’s
useless.”

4
I must tell you that the house my siblings
and I grew in -- my parents’ home –
wasn’t a showcase. It was practically bare
of furniture. In fact, when I was growing
up, my father couldn’t afford to paint the
wooden walls. They were stained all over.
When it rained, the raindrops left
permanent irregular marks on them. I
often thought that the walls of our home
looked like a map straight from a page of
the World Atlas! And we all knew the
reason – my father worked from dawn to
dusk saving all the money he could, not
just to put enough food on the table, but
to make sure there’s sufficient money to
pay for our school fees AND new books
plus new, decent clothes for Hari Raya.
Every year.
My father could have easily accepted the
book loan program to ease his financial
standing. He could have used the extra
money to spruce up our home – perhaps
to give a fresh coat of paint to our
rundown house or buy a modest sofa. But
that wasn’t my father.

5
My siblings and I observed what my father
did every day and learnt through
experience that to get something you
really want, you must work hard for it and
be patient. This thought kept me going
during hard times to make me the first girl
from my village to study in a university
abroad. And it motivated my siblings so
much that all of them went to university;
another milestone for the village folk in
my kampung.

YOU NEED TO BE PATIENT IN TIMES

OF HARDSHIP AND ILLNESS
My father spent a good portion of his last
three months in a hospital in Johor Bahru.
I would take the express bus as often as I
could from Kuala Lumpur, taking turns
with my siblings to keep him company. On
his last days, my father could hardly
swallow anything as he had a growth in
his trachea. The most he could ingest was
a few sips of water.
The doctor attached a shunt (a device to
allow flow of nutrients into his ailing and

6
frail body through an opening) to his
abdomen. The first time I saw the shunt
protruding from the left side of his
abdomen, it came as a shock. I remember
thinking: What’s this alien thing sitting on
my father?
What surprised me was that, despite the
obvious discomfort he was in, each time I
asked “Sakit ke abah?” (“Does it hurt,
father?”), all he would utter was “Tak
lah.” (“Not at all.”) with a gentle shake of
his head.
My father and I spent many a silent night
together at the hospital. Me on the sofa by
the window and him stretched on his bed
with the drip extending from one side. We
hardly talked for my father was a man of
few words. I often wondered then, and I
still do now: How could a man with so
much pain be so calm and composed? But
deep inside me, I was determined to
become as patient as he was if I were to
find myself in a similar situation.
I hope you’re convinced that the smartest,
the best and most effective way to teach

7
your kids to be patient is to be patient
yourself. Show them how to be patient,
don’t just tell them. Be patient when you
run into financial hardship, be patient if
you got fired from your job, be patient if
you lost a loved one. Be patient when
your kids do something wrong. In short,
be patient when Allah Most Merciful is
testing you with difficult times in your life.
Remember:

KIDS DON’T FOLLOW

WHAT YOU SAY. THEY
COPY WHAT YOU DO!!!
TO BE CONTINUED….

2011@ALL RIGHT RESERVED –

FORTUNEZ PUBLICATION