ACT I

Week 1

[Cut “August Day”. PHOENIX is asleep through the opening notes, then lazily shuffles awake
and looks at the alarm clock.]

PHOENIX WRIGHT:
...9:20...9:20!?
[ad lib] Man, I thought I only hit snooze once! I'm coming, Chief!

[PHOENIX begins getting dressed.]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]: [Sung]

Forty minutes 'til the trial starts
And I'm half an hour away.
I've got the shakes, my body aches, and my hair's in disarray...
But I stayed up all night reading files,
So I know what I'm gonna say!
I'm secure and I'm sure I'll endure on this August Day!

[HE rushes outside, looks down, then quickly zips his pants]

Today's the day!

I'll need to prove I'm the best,
And the world is watching my inaugural test...
But am I truly prepared?
If pressed, I'd confess I'm a bit stressed and scared.

Can I bring justice to light? Can I fight?

I'll try and if I don't cry, then I'll do alright!
I can hope and dream and pray
That I'll win on this August Day!

[HE breaks into a quick sprint]

Fifteen minutes left to go,

I'm runnin' short on time.
My head is spinnin', intent on winnin',
I'm sweatin' like a swine.
I have to help the people here --
I know where I belong!
The unity of the community will stay strong!
[By now the rest of the cast is onstage, PHOENIX clumsily makes his way around
them]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Ooh, excuse me!

JACK HAMMER:
See that guy runnin' like he's in some race?

PHOENIX:
Whoa, sorry!

LOTTA HART:
Spiky-haired jerk! He almost ran through me!

PHOENIX:
Watch it!

HAMMER:
I think he's part of that big murder case...

PHOENIX:
Coming through!

LOTTA:
Sure looks guilty to me!

[DICK GUMSHOE and MAGGEY BYRDE enter in uniform]

DICK GUMSHOE: [brightly]

Today's the day
My paycheck comes in the mail!

MAGGEY BYRDE:
You won't need to borrow bus fare
From the guys in jail.

GUMSHOE:
That’s right!

CODY HACKINS:
Ten minutes left 'til class starts...
PENNY NICHOLS:
So let's battle now for these Samurai cards!

[Simultaneous]

PHOENIX:
Stand tall and face all your fears,
One by one.
Don't get too rattled,
Your battle has just begun.
All my knowledge up on display,
I'll fight on this bright August Day.

PENNY & CODY:

Paper, rock, scissors, GO!

PENNY:
Scissors beats paper.

CODY:
NO!
Two outta three, let's try again
And this time there's no way I won't win.

FURIO TIGRE: [handing a card to a passerby]

"Tender Lender, friend or foe?
Spender mentor for yer dough!"
[Aside, to VIOLA] (Another day, another buck,
Another loser outta luck.)

GUMSHOE:
Maggey...

MAGGEY:
Yes?

GUMSHOE:
I'd like to say there's somethin' on my mind...

MAGGEY:
Well, what?

GUMSHOE:
Um, I just think that you look nice today...
MAGGEY:
Thanks, how kind!
Well on that note, I've got something that I'd like to confess...

GUMSHOE:
Yes?

MAGGEY:
These new glasses were a present from my boyfriend --
He's the best!

GUMSHOE:
Aww...

[End simultaneous]

EVERYONE:
So will this phoenix take flight...

PHOENIX:
...off the ground?

PHOENIX (CHORUS):
I'll soar with glory, (Ahhh…)
My story will be renowned! (Ah-ah!)

EVERYONE:
Now let's get this trial underway!

PHOENIX:
My courtroom premiere...

PENNY:
Last time!

CODY:
Yup.

PHOENIX:
I will persevere...

PENNY & CODY:

One, two, three, GO!
PHOENIX:
I'm here on this clear
August Day!

[PHOENIX skids into the lobby.]

MIA FEY:
You’re late!

PHOENIX:
Sorry, Chief--

MIA
Sorry doesn’t cut it! Wright, you took on a murder trial as your very first case—you’ll have a
hard enough time without making a bad impression.

PHOENIX: [beginning to psych himself out]

I…I really blew it, didn’t I? Oh man, what am I going to do…

MIA: [taking pity]

Oh…calm down. It will be okay. You made it in time for the trial, anyway. Being nervous won’t
get you anywhere.

PHOENIX:
I know, Chief, it’s just…this client, we were friends in school, and he was always kind of
unlucky…he was always the 'butt' of everybody's joke, you might say. There was even a saying
we all shared: "When something smells, it's usually the Butz."

MIA:
Butz?

PHOENIX:
B-U-T-Z, 'Butz.' That's his name.

MIA:
That's... unfortunate.

LARRY BUTZ:
GUILTY! LOCK ME UP AND NEVER LET ME GO! I’M A MURDERER! GIVE ME THE
DEATH SENTENCE AND SEND ME TO THE HELL WHERE I BELONG!

[LARRY grabs PHOENIX's suit, a comical look of distress on his face with tears streaming
down.]
PHOENIX:
Larry calm yourself!

LARRY:
I can’t live without her. If only I had gotten there later! I COULD HAVE SAVED HER!

PHOENIX:
Saved her from who, Larry? You are the supposed killer...

LARRY: [Cuts HER off; not paying attention at all]

Oh, how dark the world looks without my guiding light, Cindy! The apple of my eye! The
Cleopatra to my Anthony! The Juliet to my Romeo! The-

PHOENIX:
Larry. They all died.

LARRY:
Niiiiiiiiiiiiiick.

[LARRY looks at PHEOENIX with tear-filled eyes.]

MIA: [clears her throat]

We should clear up a few things before court starts. Wright, make sure you pay attention.

[PHOENIX nods.]

MIA [CONT’D]:
Well, what were you doing on the day of the murder?

LARRY: [sniffle]
I-I went to her apartment - Cindy’s. B-but she wasn’t there...so I left...

MIA:
Was she expecting you?

LARRY:
Ah...well...

PHOENIX:
You were dumped. [Pause] Again.

LARRY:
HEY! She didn’t dump me! She was just taking a break from me... in Paris...

PHOENIX:
In Paris? She went that far to get away?
[MIA turns to PHOENIX]

MIA:
Things could turn ugly in there.... Your client clearly has motive for murder. And I heard the
prosecution has a key witness. But we must always believe in our clients. Are you ready,
Wright?

PHOENIX:
Y-yes, Mia...I mean Chief!

MIA:
Try to be hopeful, for the client's sake! It's time to go into court.

[Scene transitions into court.]

THE JUDGE:
Court is now in session for the trial of Mr. Larry Butz.

WINSTON PAYNE:
The prosecution is ready, your honor.

PHOENIX:
I am—that is… the defense is ready, sir—I mean--your honor.

JUDGE:
Oh, this is your first case, isn’t it Wright? For your client’s sake, I hope you can control your
nerves. Murder is a serious charge.

PHOENIX: [PHOENIX looks over to a tearful LARRY]

Yes, your honor.
[PHOENIX addresses the JUDGE] For my opening statements, allow me to sum…uhm-
summarize these baseless chargers… er… charges . Our defendant, Mia Fey…

[PHOENIX motions over to MIA, who facepalms]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
—I mean, Larry Butzes’s only crime was to be in the right place at the wrong time… I mean…

MIA: [aside]
WRIGHT!

[MIA death glares at PHOENIX]

MIA [CONT’D]:
Stop this nonsense and get your act together. Your friend’s freedom depends on your
performance here and now.

PHOENIX: [nods]
As it says right here in our court record’s autopsy report, our unfortunate victim, Ms. Cinder
Blo--...Cindy Stone, was killed by blunt force trauma to the head at approximately 4:00 PM

JUDGE:
And the murder weapon? Please enlighten us, Prosecutor Payne.

PAYNE:
This statue, your honor. The prosecution would like to add to the court record this statue of ‘The
Thinker’, which was found next to the victim. And now I will call to the stand the witness who
found this statue at the scene of the crime.

[FRANK SAHWIT pushes through the courtroom doors, wringing his hands and glancing about
nervously, and takes a seat]

PAYNE [CONT’D]:
Frank Sahwit, you were selling newspapers door-to-door that day, were you not? Tell us what
you witnessed.

[While SAHWIT is giving his testimony, we see the crime scene HE describes from the third
person POV]

SAHWIT [V.O.]:
Yes. On the day of the murder I saw that man fleeing the apartment! He was in such a hurry he
left the door half-open. Of course I found it suspicious, so I glanced inside and saw… a woman
lying on the floor… DEAD!

[LARRY’s squealing sobs jolt us back to the courtroom]

SAHWIT [CONT’D]:
I tried to call the police, but her phone wasn’t working. I had to find a public phone in the nearby
park to make the call.

PAYNE:
Incidentally, the witness’ cordless phone wasn’t working because there was a blackout at the
time.

[EVERYONE looks at PHOENIX. HE gulps and looks at MIA, who sighs and rubs her temples
from a migraine]

JUDGE:
Mr. Wright, it is time for your cross-examination!

[LARRY wails]
PHOENIX:
But, Chief! This testimony completely condemns Larry!

[Cue “The Objection Song”]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
What can I do against eyewitness testimony?!

MIA:
You hold the evidence, Wright. It’s in the court record. Find a contradiction and raise an
objection!

PHOENIX:
Got it! Wait… do what now?

MIA: [Sung]
If your client’s innocent
This testimony’s fiction
So check your court record
For the contradiction
It’s time to take control
The story’s clearly phony
Present something to poke a hole
In the testimony

The witness is clearly lying

To throw you off your case
So find a contradiction
To rub in his smug face
And after you have made
Your careful selection
Present evidence as your aid and yell
“Objection”

PHOENIX: [Spoken]
So let me get this straight, Mr. Sahwit. You looked into the apartment and saw that this woman
was dead. How did you know? She may have just been unconscious.

SAHWIT:
Well, she was lying completely still on the floor, and there was blood everywhere.

LARRY:
Blood..? EVERYWHERE?!?! [Wails]

SAHWIT:
It was obvious she was gone. I was too afraid to move. I couldn't even go inside--I was
completely frozen in fear.

PHOENIX: [aside]
He didn't go inside...? That's probably the fastest contradiction I'll ever find.

MIA: [aside]
So you’ve got to point it out, Wright.

[Sung]
What you need to achieve
Is to grab the court’s attention
In order to make them believe
You must create some tension
How dare the witness tell a lie
While being on the stand
Look him in the eye and band your desk
Loudly with your hand

PHOENIX: [Bangs the desk before he yells, spoken]

Hold it! You say you didn’t go inside. How did you know the phone wasn’t working?

SAHWIT:
I… er… you see, the phone was on a shelf next to the door.

[Close-up of SAHWIT reaching over the doorway and leaning on his toes to grab for the phone
while being very careful not to step his foot inside]

SAHWIT [CONT’D]:
I never went inside! I didn’t go any further than the doorway.

MIA: [aside]
You’re getting closer, Wright. Don’t let him slither between your fingers.

SAHWIT:
Like I said, I found her exactly at 1:00 PM, found out her phone didn’t work, and went to the
park to call.

PHOENIX:
You say… you found her dead at 1:00…?

[PHOENIX looks clearly confused, and is rummaging through his papers. After a couple
seconds, HE holds up the autopsy report and points out a line to MIA.]

MIA:
You’ve got it, Wright. Congratulations.
JUDGE:
What? I don’t understand. This testimony clearly condemns your client.

LARRY:
GIMME THE CHAAAAAIR!

MIA: [Sighs and shrugs, sung]

Now this judge is rather old
His hearing’s not so fine
He’s slowly getting bald
And he needs some kind of sign
So go out on a limb, and get his mind to linger
Just focus and then point to him
With your index finger

PHOENIX: [spoken]
Take that, Mr. Sahwit! The autopsy report plainly says that the victim’s time of death was
approximately 4:00 PM. Care to explain this three hour gap?

SAHWIT:
I… I don’t understand!

[SAHWIT begins to rock back and forth while HE’s wringing his hands]

SAHWIT [CONT’D]:
I’m absolutely sure it was 1:00! 4:00 … that’s … impossible… I HEARD the time!

PHOENIX:
Heard the time…? How did you HEAR the time?

SAHWIT:
I … uh… it must’ve been on a television show that announced the time!

PHOENIX:
A television show? Witness, there was a blackout at the time.

SAHWIT:
I must’ve… must’ve made some kind of mistake…

[Close up of SAHWIT’s wringing hands]

SAHWIT [CONT’D]:
I remembered wrong! You’re right, I didn’t hear the time

[Close up of SAHWIT’S desperate eyes and sweaty forehead]

SAHWIT [CONT’D]:
… I saw the time! On the murder weapon—the clock!

PHOENIX:
Clock…? The murder weapon was a statue, not a--

PAYNE:
And again you are wrong, Mr. Wright. The murder weapon is indeed a clock. I didn't bring it up
because I thought it an unnecessary detail.

JUDGE:
Mr. Wright, it appears your argument is moot. Do you have anything to add?

[PHOENIX holds up the clock to the courtroom and smiles]

MIA: [aside]
And at last this case finally begins to unwind. You know what to do, Wright?

PHOENIX:
Let’s do it, Chief.

PHOENIX/MIA: [Take a breath on the beat before singing] [Sung]

The witness is clearly lying
To throw you off your case
So find a contradiction
To rub in his smug face
And after you have made
Your careful selection
Present evidence as your aid
And yell, yell, yell

PHOENIX: [spoken]
OBJECTION!

[End “The Objection Song”]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
You say you 'saw' the time, Mr. Sahwit? There is no digital readout on this clock. Your Honor,
the only way the witness could have known this statue
[Holds up The Thinker] was a clock, was to hold it in his hand. In other words,

[PAYNE grimaces]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Mr. Sahwit did indeed enter this apartment!
MIA: [smiles knowingly]
Look at him sweat. You have to break through the fog of lies and deception to unveil the truth.

PHOENIX:
You held this clock in your hand, didn’t you witness?

SAHWIT:
What?! I—

PHOENIX:
When you hit her on the head with it. For some reason, it told you the wrong time—3 hours
behind. But you can’t get it out of your head: that voice that spoke the time when you killed her
was burned into your memory.

SAHWIT:
This… this is completely outrag—

[PHOENIX sets the clock down firmly on his desk]

CLOCK:
*beep* I THINK the time is 8:25.

PHOENIX:
Prosecutor Payne, please tell me the time.

PAYNE: [Hesitates]
…11:25.

PHOENIX:
Three hours behind.

SAHWIT: [Hesitates, clearly thinking for a few seconds]

...I… heh.. .heh… hehehe…! You’re forgetting one critical thing, Mr. Attorney.

PHOENIX:
What??

SAHWIT:
Unless you can prove that the clock was running fast on the day of the crime, you don’t have a
case. Even I know that!

PAYNE: [smug]
You see, rookie, all your theories are nothing but conjecture!

JUDGE:
Mr. Wright? Without further proof, I cannot allow you to indict the witness.

PHOENIX:
Y-yes, Your Honor.

JUDGE:
Unless you have evidence to support your claim?

SAHWIT: [in the background, determined to get his word in even though the attention is on
PHOENIX]
I take time from my busy schedule to come down here and you treat me like a common criminal!
You lawyers are slime!

[PHOENIX’s fists clench against the bench as HE grasps the impossibility of his situation. HE
looks across at LARRY, who tries to encourage PHOENIX with a thumbs-up. This has the
opposite effect on PHOENIX, who, reminded of the stakes, starts to panic.]

LARRY:
You’ve got this, right, Nick?

[We shift to PHOENIX’s point of view: HE looks down at the documents spread across the
bench, which blur in and out of focus.]

PHOENIX:
Ugh...Larry, I…

PAYNE:
And THAT’S why they call me the rookie killer.

MIA: [offscreen]
Your Honor, the defense would like to request a recess!

JUDGE:
On what grounds, Miss Fey?

MIA:
To review the evidence at hand. A few minutes should be enough.

JUDGE:
Very well. Court is now in recess.

[PAYNE starts doing his victory dance and song to himself as MIA drags out PHOENIX. ]

PAYNE: [Sung]
I’m the rookie killer
Another one bites the dust!
I'm the--[Door to courtroom slams closed as the camera follows MIA AND PHOENIX]

[MIA takes PHOENIX’s arm and leads HIM off. Fade to, PHOENIX and MIA sitting on the
couch in the defendant’s lobby. PHOENIX holds his head in his hands while MIA rubs his back
with her near hand, trying to get HIM to calm down.]

MIA:
Okay, deep breaths, Wright. You weren’t actually intimidated by Winston Payne, were you?

PHOENIX: [looking up]

N-no! But Chief, they’re right…It’s over. I can’t prove that the clock was slow on the day of the
crime.

MIA:
…Well, no. You can’t.

PHOENIX:
Then I let Larry down.

MIA: [interrupting, gripping PHOENIX’s shoulder for emphasis]

But that doesn’t mean it’s over. Think.

[Cue “Justice For All”]

MIA [CONT’D]:
Don’t waste time doubting the facts. Or doubting yourself. Listen, Wright…

[sung]
There are times when you'll feel lonely and defeated,
And throughout some trials you'll only be mistreated.
Yes, we both share that rapport, but in the midst of courtroom war,
I remember the ideals I'm fighting for.

I fight for truth. I fight for justice.

I fight for everyone to have a fair chance,
And when faced with tribulation, I think of my own inspiration.
He taught me to always hold my stance.
I fight for men. I fight for women.
I fight for anyone who aims to do what's right--
so I picked this occupation, a dedication to salvation.
For society, I fight.

There are people in this world who'll try to break you.

They frame others for their vices just to shake you.
Planting evidence and lies so their crime will be disguised,
They all mask the truth and that's when we arise.
Some attorneys are dishonest and just want a perfect win,
And that's when the true challenges begin.
Just believe in your client and the truth will be explored,
And don't forget just what you're fighting for!

We fight for peace. We fight for order.

We fight with evidence, intelligence, and trust.
And we entered this vocation to prevent misinformation,
To aim for a verdict, fair and just.
We fight for all. We fight with honor.
So stand wholeheartedly, and keep your goals in sight--
And in times of desperation, defend with raw determination.
For you and I...we fight.

[End “Justice For All”. MIA and PHOENIX walk back into the courtroom together, to the
muttering and shuffling of the gallery. The door shuts loudly behind THEM. PHOENIX reaches
the bench and flips once through his evidence folder, finding what HE needs easily, while MIA
smiles encouragingly at LARRY]

JUDGE:
The court will come to order! Mr. Wright, have you prepared a closing statement?

MIA:
Wright?

PHOENIX: [quietly]
I can do it, Chief.
[Looking up] I have, your Honor.
[HE clears his throat and begins, gaining confidence/building as HE goes] The validity of Frank
Sahwit’s testimony has been called into serious doubt through cross-examination, as well as the
legality of his presence in Ms Stone’s apartment. However, as the prosecution has mentioned, the
defense cannot indict the witness without further evidence.

PAYNE: [HE’s becoming a dog with a bone about this]

That’s right, you haven’t got a leg to stand on! Unless the clock was slow—

PHOENIX: [calmly, getting into his “strike fear into the hearts of evil” mode]
I’m not finished. The defense is prepared to prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that the clock
was indeed wrong on the day of the crime, and will use the defendant’s own words to do so.

SAHWIT:
Hah! Tough words! Let’s see you pull this one off.

PHOENIX: [holding up CINDY’s passport]

This is my proof! My client mentioned this morning that the victim was not returning his calls
and had left the country, only to return from abroad the day before the crime! [PHOENIX,
quoting LARRY] "She didn’t dump me! She was just taking a break from me... in Paris..."
Clearly Ms Stone had taken the clock with her when she traveled, meaning on the day of the
crime the clock was not three hours slow, but nine hours fast! The exact time difference between
here and Paris, France! That’s why, Mr. Sahwit, you heard the wrong time when you struck her
dead in her own apartment!

PAYNE:
Objection! This claim is outrage—

PHOENIX: [overriding PAYNE]

MR. SAHWIT! You broke into Cindy Stone’s apartment, thinking the occupant was on vacation!
Then, when Ms Stone walked in on your dirty work, you picked up the clock and silenced her!
Later on you fabricated an alibi for yourself, setting up Larry Butz to take the fa—

SAHWIT:
Arrrrrgh! [HE tosses his toupée]

PHOENIX: [toupée sliding from his face, rant effectively ended]

Ugh…

SAHWIT: [panting]
You…with your objections and your contradictions…just who do you think you are? Alright,
yes! I confess! I went to her apartment! I was there when she came in and she just wouldn’t stop
screaming so I—I—

PHOENIX: [pointing]
You hit Cindy Stone with The Thinker!

SAHWIT:
Ngh!

[SAHWIT foams and collapses]

JUDGE:
Order! Order! Bailiff, detain the witness for questioning! Mr. Payne, do you have any further
statements?

PAYNE:
Th—this badgering of my witness is completely unprecede—

[PAYNE trails off as the JUDGE glares at HIM, SAHWIT being cuffed and taken away in the
background]

PAYNE [CONT’D]:
no, your Honor.
JUDGE:
Very well then.
[HE clears his throat] Mr. Sahwit will stand trial at a later date, but in the light of his confession,
this court must find the current defendant, Mr. Larry Butz…

[Shot of LARRY in tears, PHOENIX confident and assured]

JUDGE [CONT’D]:
NOT GUILTY.
This court is adjourned.

MIA:
You did great, Wright!

PHOENIX:
Thanks, Chief, but if it wasn’t for your help—

MIA:
Not at all, not at all. You fought your own battles today.

[LARRY bounds into the scene, catching both PHOENIX and MIA in a hug from behind, arms
slung around their shoulders. PHOENIX takes the brunt of LARRY’S weight, doubling over
slightly with a grunt of protest as his papers fly everywhere.]

LARRY:
Gee, Nick, it’s great to have friends, isn’t it?

MIA: [completely unfazed]

Congratulations on your verdict, Mr. Butz!

LARRY:
Aaaaw, thanks a lot!

[LARRY Disengages the hug in order to swing around and grin at MIA]

LARRY [CONT’D]:
I’m a lucky guy to have such a great legal team!

PHOENIX:
Larry…

[LARRY produces The Thinker with a flourish and offers it to MIA like a bouquet]

LARRY:
Here, as a token of my appreciation!
MIA:
But…isn’t this the murder weapon?

LARRY:
Nah, this is an extra. I made two, you know?

MIA: [taking the clock]

Why, then I’m pleased to accept. Thank you.

LARRY:
And NICK…thanks a lot, man. I owe you one. Really.

PHOENIX:
Th…that’s great Larry, but about your fee—

LARRY:
Yeah, thanks a bunch for doing this no bono!

[LARRY leaves]

MIA:
Pro... bono... Yeah, when something smells...

PHOENIX:
Yeah, that’s Larry for you, but I've owed him this favor ever since we were kids.

[PHOENIX stoops to pick up his papers]

MIA: [hefting the Thinker thoughtfully]

Hm...Wright.

[PHOENIX straightens attentively]

MIA [CONT’D]:
I have some business to take care of this evening, but afterward, would you like to join me for
dinner? My sister’s in town, too. We can turn it into your victory celebration!

PHOENIX:
What? Really?

MIA:
Of course! You’ve earned it. Why don’t you swing by the office around nine?

PHOENIX:
S-sure. Thanks, Chie—
MIA: [spoken over her shoulder as SHE exits with The Thinker]
See you tonight, then!

PHOENIX:
Chief, wai—

[The sound of a door as MIA leaves the building. PHOENIX sighs, then smiles to himself as HE
begins to gather his papers.

Cue “Awakening”]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
I... I still can’t believe it. I did it!
[sung]
I won it, the pride of the courtroom
Innocence was mine to behold
I felt it, there for the taking
I feel so new, and yet so old

And if I’m asleep don’t wake me

I cannot beat this feel-
-ing that I have–it feels so free
Can this truly be for real?

Here I am, the court and the trial behind me

Here I go, my day’s about to begin
I’m alive,
I’m awake,
And I’m ready to take the world by storm

Here I stand, the courtroom is my little oyster,

Here I know I’m ready to find the pearl
Me and Chief,
What a team,
And I’m seeing the dream begin to form

[Spoken] Is this what it feels like? To win? Hah, I could get used to this!

[Sung]
So much more is in my reach,
Now I dare to eat a peach!
So many new doors lie ahead!

Maybe Justice isn’t blind

Maybe I’ll stop the maligned
Maybe it’s my destiny instead!

And if Justice is blind I’ll see for her

Here I am, the court and the trial behind me

Here I go, a new day’s about to begin
I’m alive
I’m awake
And I’ll thrive ‘till I ache, ‘cause I’ve transformed

Maybe I’m a lawyer after all

[PHOENIX unlocks the door to Fey and Co. Law Offices and looks around]

PHOENIX: [Spoken]
Hey, Chief! I’m back! Ready for dinner? [silence]. She didn’t already go home yet... did she?

[Sobbing is heard offscreen]

PHOENIX:
Who’s there!?

[PHOENIX into MIA’s office and sees her unmoving body, with MAYA FEY crouching beside
her]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Wh... what happened?

MAYA:
She’s dying! Help her!

PHOENIX:
I don’t... I don’t know what to do!

GUMSHOE: [Barging in from the front door]

Whoooooooooaaaaaaa! Everyone freeze! You’re both suspects of murder!

PHOENIX:
Who are you?

GUMSHOE:
I’m Detective Dick Gumshoe, see? Investigating a homicide in this office, thanks to a handy tip
from a woman at the Gatewater? Don’t neither of you move an inch!

[GUMSHOE “investigates” until he finds a the receipt with the word “Maya” on it.]
GUMSHOE [CONT’D]:
Whooooaaaaaa! ...Maya, huh? This name mean somethin’ to either of you?

MAYA:
...it’s my–

GUMSHOE: [overlapping on “my”]

Huh!? Speak up!

MAYA:
It’s my name, sir!

GUMSHOE:
WHAAAAAT!? Ah! It’s all comin’ together now! The victim drew your name with her blood in
her dying hour to tell everyone who the culprit was! Case closed, you’re comin’ with me!

[GUMSHOE apprehends MAYA and drags her out of the office.]

MAYA:
N-no! I’m not the killer! Help! Help me!

PHOENIX: [sung]
Here I am, the court and the trial behind me.
Here I go, a new day’s just gone awry
Chief and me,
What a team,
And I’m seeing the dream about to die...

Suddenly, my world just seems so small.

[End “Awakening]

Week 2

[PHOENIX barges in through the doors of the lobby of the DETENTION CENTER, briefcase in
hand, looking noticeably tense. HE walks up to a desk in the lobby. Sat behind the desk is a
GUARD who looks half pensive, half asleep. PHOENIX walks up, looks around, not knowing
precisely what the detention center etiquette is. Both the GUARD and PHOENIX stay quiet.
PHOENIX begins to nervously hum “The Objection Song”, and the guard tilts his hat up and
shifts his weight to rise out of his chair.]

GUARD: [We see the front of his newspaper has an article about the Demon Prosecutor. He
puts it down to address Phoenix.]
Er... can I help you, sir?
PHOENIX:
Oh! Ah... Fey. Maya Fey! Can I see Maya Fey?

GUARD:
Sorry, she’s seeing someone right now, can’t have more than one visitor at a time.

PHOENIX:
What!? Oh no no no no no... I can’t–her sister–and the statue–and the blood–and she’s dead–and
now her sister–no no no, I have to go in! Sorry!

[PHOENIX runs down the hallway, away from the GUARD who looks as though he might get
up, but then decides that sitting is easier.

Cut to PHOENIX nearing the end of the hallway, still frantically running. HE gets to the end and
the sliding doors leading to the detention center open. HE moves in ready to speak, but realizes
there is already a conversation going on]

MARVIN GROSSBERG:
Ah... I’m sorry, child... this just simply won’t do.

MAYA:
B-but... Mr. Grossberg! Mia said–

GROSSBERG:
Your sister said many things child... in fact, your sister said a bit too much, and that’s precisely
why I cannot help. My hands are tied.

[GROSSBERG scoots backward in his chair and gets up with some noticeable effort]

GROSSBERG [CONT’D]:
I do hope you can understand.

MAYA:
Mr. Grossberg! Wait!!

[MAYA presses herself up against the glass partition as GROSSBERG walks away. HER head
slinks down into her arms in defeat. GROSSBERG gets to the door that PHOENIX is blocking.]

GROSSBERG:
Pardon me, m’boy.

PHOENIX:
Oh! Excuse me!

[PHOENIX steps away from the door and GROSSBERG crosses through. PHOENIX looks over
at MAYA, who is currently in despair.]
GROSSBERG:
Good luck, m’boy. That girl's a handful for any defense attorney [Gestures at badge]--nevermind
fighting against the Demon Prosecutor himself.

PHOENIX: [Eyes Grossberg quizically]

Demon... prosecutor..?

[GROSSBERG leaves. MAYA sits behind the glass, alone and completely dispirited.]

MAYA: [Whispered, on the verge of tears]

He was my last chance...

PHOENIX:
Well…he didn’t look so great anyway. Kind of worn out, you know?

MAYA: [Jerking up and wiping at her face]

Who—

PHOENIX:
We…met in Mia’s office. Briefly.

MAYA:
Oh! You’re that- lawyer! Mia’s partner, Phoenix, right?

PHOENIX: [Grinning]
Right! I’m Phoenix Wright.

[Waits, trying to get a laugh out of Maya. No dice.]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Er. Good morning.

MAYA: [Distracted]
Good morning.

[A pause. PHOENIX rubs his neck awkwardly]

MAYA: [Not particularly hopeful—she thinks PHOENIX might be the state-appointed council]
Are you going to be my lawyer?

PHOENIX:
Well…that’s up to you. I mean, you’re the one in trouble, here…

MAYA: [Sadly, looking away]

…They’re never going to believe me, are they? I mean, the way you looked at me last night…
[SHE looks at PHOENIX] even you thought I had done it!

PHOENIX: [Taken aback, unsure how to proceed]

I…I don’t know what I thought last night. When I saw you and…her. But there’s something
fishy about this whole thing, and I’d like to hear your side of it.
[Pauses, catching himself] If it isn’t too hard to talk about, that is.

MAYA:
No, it’s okay. I’m used to it now…What do you need to know?

PHOENIX: [Clearing his throat]

Well, for starters, Mia said you were in town to see her?

MAYA: [Detached, the same reel she’s been giving the police]
Yes. I live up in the mountains, for training, but she called yesterday and asked me to come
down. She wanted me to hold evidence for her because I live so far out of town…It isn’t long at
all by train, so I got here early. And then…

PHOENIX:
Wait. Training? What kind of training?

MAYA: [Surprised—no one has asked her this yet]

Oh. For spirit-channeling. You have to be independent if you want to keep your powers up.

PHOENIX:
Channeling? So your clothes…

MAYA:
I’m an acolyte. A medium-in-training.

PHOENIX:
A spirit medium? With ESP and all that stuff?

MAYA:
Yes. In training.

PHOENIX:
And Mia was into that, too?

MAYA: [Nodding]
All the Fey women have a strong connection to the spirit world. Her powers were first class, but
she left the mountain to study law.

PHOENIX:
Well…she was a first class lawyer, too. Her intuition, her drive…
[Pause] Maya…I can’t claim to understand what you must be going through, but if it’s any
comfort at all…I miss her too. Mia, she always—

MAYA: [Interested for the first time, finishing PHOENIX’S sentence for him]
Always knew what to do.

[THEY smile hesitantly at each other through the glass]

MAYA [CONT’D]:
I’ve heard a lot about you, you know. She’d always talk about her junior partner when we spoke
on the phone.

PHOENIX:
All the embarrassing stuff, huh?

MAYA:
Well, usually she had nothing but good to say. Actually… I think we even talked about you
yesterday, when she called to ask me over. Let me check my phone log...[She opens up her
phone and plays a conversation]

MAYA: [On phone]

Heya, Sis! What's shakin'?

[Maya fastforwards]

MIA: [On phone]

...and I've still got a very bad feeling about it. Would you hold on to this evidence for me? I
want you to take it to another lawyer I trust if anything happens. It's a clock that's shaped like
"The Thinker."

MAYA: [On phone]

The Thinker? Like the famous statue? How does it work?

MIA: [On phone]

Well right now it's not working anyway. It's missing its clockwork. But enough of this business.
My junior partner finally survived his first trial today! You should come join me and my little
genius for dinner tonight.

MAYA: [On phone]

He deserves *at least* a dinner after suffering under you as his mentor! How did he do,
anyway?

[sung] Today was his first day in court

What an awesome trial, though it was kinda short (MAYA: did he crash and burn??!)
He is one true genius—it was so intense (MAYA: Oh?)
One thing he is lacking is experience
[spoken] Maya, I want you to hear this. There might be a time when you need help and I can’t be
there.

MAYA: [On phone]

So just let me guess:
[sung] I should call Phoenix Wri—

MIA: [On phone]

NO! Call Grossberg. Marvin Grossberg.

MAYA: [On phone]

Grossberg? Sis’, you were just singing this newbie’s praises. Literally. Singing.

MIA: [On phone, sung]

He’ll strike fear in the heart of evil
‘Cause he is just that type
But you should give him three more years
Then he will make it right..

[The flashback fades back into present day]

MAYA:
And that’s what she said.

PHOENIX: [Spoken]
Three years… huh?

MAYA:
I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to trouble you.

PHOENIX:
No, it’s true I guess. But at the same time, I can’t just sit and watch. When I stop to think that the
one who did this to Mia… is still out there…!

[Sung simultaneously]

MAYA:
I never thought it would ever come to this
In times of trouble I could always count on ‘Sis
She’d always be there for me—coming to my aid
But Mia is gone, and I—I am afraid

I am feeling so alone
My future does not look bright
I need someone to help me
Someone to make it right
PHOENIX:
What can you say when they point at you
And you don’t know what to do?
She can’t be with you now
I’ll help. Just tell me how

I know you don’t quite trust me yet

And I know this may sound trite
But I have to do
Something to make it right

[End simultaneous singing]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]: [spoken]

I’ll defend you, Maya. Don’t worry; we’ll find the one who did this to Mia.

[Scene change. PHOENIX enters the GATEWATER HOTEL and doesn’t see anyone at the
clerk desk. Suddenly, he sees a BELLBOY, carrying a tray in one hand, on his way into an
elevator.]

PHOENIX:
E-Excuse me!

[The BELLBOY turns and holds the elevator open for PHOENIX.]

BELLBOY:
Good afternoon, sir!

PHOENIX:
Ah! Good afternoon...

BELLBOY:
Going up?

PHOENIX:
Huh? Ah...no! I wanted... I heard there was a key witness to a murder staying at the hotel.
I wanted to speak to her.

BELLBOY: [His face brightens up.]

Oh! You must mean Miss April May! I believe she is still in her room at the moment. I can take
you there.

PHOENIX: [smiles]
Thank you.
[PHOENIX steps into the elevator and the Bellboy presses the button for the twelfth floor. There
is a silence between them as the elevator starts heading up.]

PHOENIX:
So... um... could you tell me more about Miss May?

BELLBOY: [He brightens up and blushes a bit]

Oh... well, sir, she is a very beautiful lady... My type of girl to be more exact.

PHOENIX: [Is put off by this]

Wha-Huh?

BELLBOY:
It was quite a disappointment when I noticed the person she was staying with. He struck me as a
real lady killer. I knew it from the moment I saw him, sir... he and I are of the same ilk. We both
carry the scent of... danger... Too bad he got to her first...

[He stops as the elevator doors open and BELLBOY barges into the room, leaving PHOENIX
with a look of incredulity on his face.]

PHOENIX:
Are we allowed to just... walk into her roo-

BELLBOY:
Oh! This is the floor. Please follow me sir. Normally this is against hotel policy, but being that
this is a MURDER case and aaaall ...

[PHOENIX follows, still unsure about the whole talk in the elevator. The BELLBOY knocks on
the door with his free hand.]

BELLBOY [CONT’D]:
Miss May? Miss May?

[The BELLBOY waits a moment before letting himself into the room. HE allows PHOENIX to
follow. The sounds of a shower are heard.]

BELLBOY:
It seems she is taking a shower right now. Why not wait in here until she is done?
[HE fixes his tie out of embarrassment, joking] If I were not such a gentleman, I might have
considered taking a peek...

[PHOENIX tries to ignore the last statement, and starts looking around the room. HE first looks
out the window]

PHOENIX:
There is a clear view from here... right into the building next door: Fey and Co law offices.
BELLBOY:
Correct. This is where the poor Miss May witnessed the crime.

PHOENIX:
Are you sure she was in the room at the time?

BELLBOY:
I am most certain. The murder occurred at 9:00 at night. At that very moment I was called to her
room to deliver an iced coffee. Afterward...s-she... um... the guest, favored me with an
“embrasser”... it was a moment I shall never forget, sir.

[PHOENIX sighs.]

PHOENIX:
So much for that...

[PHOENIX notices a bottle and two glasses on the table and makes a connection]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Weren’t you saying something about a person staying with Miss May?

BELLBOY:
Ah, um, yes, sir. But, I do not know who he is, nor could I give more than a vague description.

[HE notices PHOENIX staring intently at him.]

BELLBOY [CONT’D]:
A-Ah...if it will help your case I will gladly write you an affidavit that there was another guest
here. Just give me one moment!

[HE leaves the room suddenly. PHOENIX starts to pace around the room and notices a slightly
ajar drawer. Out of curiosity he peeks inside.]

PHOENIX:
Hm? What do we have here? A-A wiretap!? Why would that be here? ....What’s going on?

[The BELLBOY suddenly returns and PHOENIX jumps back from the drawer]

BELLBOY:
I have the affidavit for you, sir. Honestly, I always wanted to write one.

PHOENIX: [Tucks the wiretap away]

T-Thank you. Um...

[As PHOENIX takes the affidavit, the sounds of the shower stop.]
BELLBOY: [At the same time as PHOENIX]
Ohhhh, a murder investigation and I'm involved. And to think Miss May is a witness!! Oh... but
what if she is a killer? Oohhhh, Miss May is a mysterious woman... I could describe her guest in
more detail if I weren’t… distracted…

PHOENIX: [Not noticing, starts talking to no one in particular at the same time the BELLBOY
is talking]
There is definitely something suspicious about this “Miss May”! Why would she have something
like this in her hotel room? And who is this “special guest”?
[Pause] There’s a story behind all this, I know it! Alright... I just need to pull all these things
together for tomorrow’s case...

BELLBOY: [hearing all of this, interrupts]

Sir, did you not want to speak to Miss May personally?

[PHOENIX clenches his fist in a passion-filled moment]

PHOENIX: [Not hearing the BELLBOY, he whispers loudly]

For Maya’s sake, I’ll get to Miss May’s bottom!

BELLBOY: [Stares at PHOENIX, shocked]

S-Sir! I-I’m sure you could do that right now. I do not think she would mind...

PHOENIX: [Remembering the BELLBOY. HE is embarrassed now]

No.. I mean... the bottom of-

[APRIL MAY calls from the bathroom]

APRIL MAY: [offscreen]

Hello? Bellboy? Are you there?

PHOENIX:
I better go.

[PHOENIX darts out of the room.

Scene change, next day, the COURTROOM]

JUDGE: [Bangs his gavel.]

The court is in now in session for the trial of Maya Fey.

PHOENIX:
The defense is ready your honor.

[PHOENIX looks across the courtroom at MILES EDGEWORTH.]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Edgeworth… it’s been a while.

EDGEWORTH: [Without reacting to PHOENIX]

The prosecution is ready, your honor.

JUDGE:
If the prosecution would give an opening statement?

EDGEWORTH:
Yes, your honor. The defendant, Ms. Maya Fey, was found at the scene of the crime. There is
evidence and a witness to fortify these claims. The facts leave no room for doubt. The defendant,
Maya Fey, murdered her sister in cold blood on that cold August night.

JUDGE:
I see. The prosecution may call its first witness.

EDGEWORTH:
The prosecution would like to call the homicide detective in charge.

[GUMSHOE can be seen already moving to the stand.]

EDGEWORTH [CONT’D]:
Witness, please state your name and occupation for the court.

GUMSHOE:
Detective Dick Gumshoe, sir!

EDGEWORTH:
If you would indulge us with the details of the incident…

GUMSHOE:
Yes, sir!

[Black and white “flashbacks” or something to that effect, showing what GUMSHOE describes.]

GUMSHOE [CONT’D]:
The body was found near the window, dead from blunt trauma from a single blow to the head.
The murder weapon was “The Clinker”.

EDGEWORTH: [Chiming in under his breath.]

The thinker, Detective…

GUMSHOE: [Makes a 'kicked puppy' look, then continues]

We arrested Maya Fey, based off of hard evidence.

JUDGE:
Please testify to this effect.

GUMSHOE:
The call came, and we rushed in as soon as possible. Two people were found at the scene; the
defendant, Maya Fey, and the defense attorney, Harry Butz.

JUDGE:
Who?

PHOENIX: [Quickly, not happy at the error.]

Please go on…

GUMSHOE:
I immediately arrested Maya Fey because a witness said she saw the defendant at the very
moment of the crime.

JUDGE:
Very well. Mr. Wright, you may cross-examine the witness.

PHOENIX: [Under his breath]

Cross-examine what? I don’t see a contradiction…

JUDGE:
Mr. Wright, are you up to this?

PHOENIX:
Yes, your honor…

[PHOENIX Takes a deep breath, and looks over a piece of paper.]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Did you not say you had “hard evidence”?

GUMSHOE:
Uh…did I say that?

PHOENIX:
I heard you say it!

JUDGE:
You said it.

EDGEWORTH:
Indeed.

GUMSHOE:
But we DO have the key witness testimony!

PHOENIX:
So you have nothing else other than this woman’s word that the defendant did this?

GUMSHOE:
Um…
[Thinks as intensely as a Gumshoe can.] Yes, I do.

PHOENIX:
What!?

GUMSHOE:
Sorry, I got something mixed up in my testimony. Can I try again?

JUDGE:
Very well.

GUMSHOE:
While looking over the crime scene… I found a memo with the defendant’s name on it! In the
victim’s blood, no less. How about THAT for hard evidence?

PHOENIX:
Well, uh…
[aside] Think, come on, think!
[addressing court] Detective, just because you found it next to the body
[slams desk] doesn’t mean the victim wrote it!

GUMSHOE:
So who did, pal?

PHOENIX:
Uh… It could have been me!

GUMSHOE:
You did it?

PHOENIX:
Nononononononono, I was just saying that it could... have been… me. Um…can you prove it
WASN’T me?

EDGEWORTH:
So Mr. Wright, can we take this as a confession?
PHOENIX:
Err…

EDGEWORTH:
This is a court of law, Mr. Wright, not an elementary school playground. As hard as it might be,
refrain from making thoughtless statements… amateur!

PHOENIX: [Eyes widen, shocked. Shock wears off after a moment.]

Detective, what proof is there that the blood is the victim's?

GUMSHOE:
Well, first they take the hemo globles…herma globers…hema goblins…which, um…is
connected to the thigh bones…which is connected…to…um…I refuse to testify, I’m not an
expert, your honor!

JUDGE:
That’s very clear. Please continue.

EDGEWORTH:
Detective.

GUMSHOE:
Yeah?

EDGEWORTH:
You can look forward to your next pay check, that I can assure you.

GUMSHOE:
You mean it, pal?

[Edgey glare of doomednessity.]

GUMSHOE [CONT’D]:
Oh…

PHOENIX:
Ahem…um, anyways, Detective, how common is it for the victim to write the name of the killer.

GUMSHOE:
It’s in the movies and crime shows all the time!

PHOENIX:
Okay, can we focus on reality? Detective, what do you think ha—

EDGEWORTH: [Desk slam]

The witness’s opinion on the matter is irrelevant. What DOES matter is that the victim wrote the
name of her killer before death!

PHOENIX:
The way I see it, the victim is the only one who couldn't have written it! This autopsy report
clearly says she died instantaneously from a single blow!

EDGEWORTH:
Mr. Wright, when did you get that autopsy report?

PHOENIX:
Yesterday, why?

EDGEWORTH:
That autopsy report is obsolete. A second autopsy was carried out at my request. “The death was
almost immediate from a single blow to the head, but it’s possible the victim lived several
minutes after struck.” It’s highly possible the victim did indeed write the name of her killer. That
is all.

[EDGEWORTH bows. PHOENIX is in a state of shock, speechless. EDGEWORTH notices

this.]

EDGEWORTH [CONT’D]:
Shocked, Wright? You look as if you have something to say.

PHOENIX:
Edgeworth… I’ve heard there’s nothing you won’t do to get a guilty verdict. What reason could
you have for a second autopsy report at all?

JUDGE:
Mr. Wright, please refrain from personal attacks on the prosecution!

EDGEWORTH:
No matter. The evidence is irrefutable, despite the defense’s claims. I’d like this added to the
official record.

JUDGE:
Understood. The court accepts this into evidence.

EDGEWORTH:
As you can see, the evidence suggests that the victim wrote the name of her killer.

JUDGE:
That does seem like the logical conclusion…

EDGEWORTH:
Indeed. The prosecution would like to call its next witness!

[Cue “April May’s Testimony”]

EDGEWORTH [CONT’D]: [spoken]

We call to the stand April May!

[APRIL walks toward the stand, swaying her hips in time with the music]

APRIL: [sung]
April May here, at your service! [Walks right by Phoenix, who looks quite distraught already]
Mr. Lawyer, you seem nervous -
Gee, I hope I haven't made you lose your cool!
Oh, I've got this fuzzy feeling [Takes the stand]
What I say will be revealing! [Bends over to place hand on Bible on 'revealing' and winks]
[aside] But they might need time to mop up all the drool

I was staying for a spell,

At the Gatewater Hotel,
'Cause they have bestest bellboys over there.
It was nine or nine-oh-one,
When I saw the murder done -
And the girl who did it's sitting in that chair!

It was awful! It was brutal!

And I screamed, but it was futile,
And that's why I had to watch in horror instead -
As the victim, in her fright,
Tried to dodge off to the right -
So the hippie lady took the clock and hit her right on the head!

When she clocked her with the clock,

I was overcome with shock,
But I called the cops, 'cause these things make me squirm.
It's so hot here... can I stop
To loosen up my top?

ALL MEN IN COURT EXCEPT EDGEWORTH AND PHOENIX:

This testimony is very, very [ahem] firm!

APRIL: [spoken]
Thanks, boys. [giggle]

[On ending notes we see shots on beat with the music of Edgeworth looking smug and Phoenix
looking completely in shock]
[End “April May’s Testimony”]

JUDGE:
I see no reason to continue this... therefore—

PHOENIX:
No! Wait! I demand to cross-examine the witness!

EDGEWORTH:
Taking on the vulgar tactics of your dead mentor, I see.

PHOENIX:
Leave Mia out of this! She was twice the lawyer you'll ever be. This testimony is fishy and I will
get to the bottom of it! [Points]

APRIL:
Oh, like how you wanted to get to MY bottom yesterday? [Giggle]

PHOENIX AND EDGEWORTH: [jump back]

Wha-?

APRIL:
The bellboy told me. [Giggle]

JUDGE:
Well, now this is getting interesting...

PHOENIX: [Grits teeth]

Just... let me... examine...

APRIL: [Grinning seductively]

Examine me?

PHOENIX: [Gives up]

Please... let me cross-examine the witness.

EDGEWORTH:
Then stop this nonsense and get on with it.

[There is a pause as Phoenix fixes himself and shuffles through a few papers on his desk]

PHOENIX: [HE scratches his chin as he thinks]

I need to find something... wiretap... affidavit...

APRIL:
I don’t see why I’m still here. I said what I had to say... the victim was hit in the head with a
clock and it was the defendant who did it.
[Starts to open her top] Ah... so hot... I really need to cool down. Am I done here, Mr. Judge?

PHOENIX: [Noticing what she just said]

HOLD IT!

[PHOENIX has a cocky smiles on his face and holds up a picture of the murder weapon]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Do you agree that this is the murder weapon?

APRIL:
Ah, yes. It’s that clock thingie... called something like “The Thinker” right?

PHOENIX:
You are correct, but... how did you know it was a clock?!

APRIL: [Thrown back as though she were hit]

AHHhhhh! Well...ah....um...I...I heard it! That’s it! When the defendant struck the victim, the
clock said the time.

EDGEWORTH:
Which makes sense considering how close the two buildings are.

PHOENIX:
HOWEVER! If you look closely at the clock... you can see that it is missing the clockwork. You,
Miss April May, are a big, fat, liar!

APRIL: [Her voice gets deeper]

FAT?! Ohhh... how dare you...!?

EDGEWORTH: [Shakes his head]

Tsk, tsk, Mr. Wright. That was quite a show, but there is no contradiction unless you can prove
that the clockwork was missing on the night of the murder.

PHOENIX: [Clenches his fist for a bit before suddenly relaxing]

I have proof.

[HE takes out MAYA’S cell phone]

APRIL:
Ooohh. What a girly phone you have.

PHOENIX:
Just listen!
MAYA [On Phone]:
So you just want me to hold on to “The Thinker” for you, then?

MIA [On Phone]:

If you could. Ah...I should probably tell you, the clock isn’t talking right now. I had to take the
clockwork out.

COMPUTER VOICE [On Phone]:

[September 5, 9:27 AM]

PHOENIX:
This proves that the clockwork was missing on the morning of the murder. Miss May...

[APRIL starts biting her finger nails and shifting her gaze around the room, thinking hard]

APRIL:
Grr... ah... ohhh... well...

PHOENIX:
The real reason why you knew the weapon, “The Thinker,” was a clock....
[dramatic pause] WAS BECAUSE YOU HELD IT!

APRIL: [blinks]
Huh?

EDGEWORTH:
What?

JUDGE: [sounds skeptical]

Where are you going with this?

PHOENIX:
The clock said the time when she hit the victim! Therefore, Miss April May is the murderer! She
killed Mia Fey in the law office with the candlestick...ah um, “The Thinker”!

EDGEWORTH:
I think you have your clue... I mean, key facts mixed up. If the clockwork was missing, there
would be no way she could tell it was a clock just by 'holding it.'

PHOENIX:
Ah... oh... well... that idea worked in my previous case...

JUDGE:
Well that’s not going to work here... I'll have to give you a penalty. That's minus one
exclamation point for you, Mr. Wright.
[PHOENIX’S points pop up and some disappear]

PHOENIX:
Points...? What the—... please, give me another chance?

JUDGE:
Proceed. Now tell us the real reason that the witness knew the thinker was a clock.

PHOENIX: [Sudden realization]

The phone... She heard the victim mention it during a phone call...!

APRIL: [giggle]
How would I know about a phone call?

PHOENIX:
TAKE THAT!

[PHOENIX presents the wiretap]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Because you wiretapped her phone!

APRIL: [struck again]

AhhhHHHH!!!! GRrr..ohhhhh.....ah

PHOENIX:
I found this hidden in your drawer at the hotel room.

APRIL: [Deep voice]

You-You porcupine... HOW DARE YOU GO THROUGH MY STUFF!

EDGEWORTH: [slams desk]

That questionable search proves nothing! How do we know that the victim mentioned it during a
phone call?!

[PHOENIX smirks and pulls out MAYA’S cell phone again]

PHOENIX:
The proof’s right here

[PHOENIX plays another conversation]

MIA [On Phone]:

Maya, there’s something I want you to hold on to for me.

MAYA [On Phone]:

Again? What’s it this time?

MIA [On Phone]:

It’s...a clock. It’s made to look like that statue, “The Thinker” And it tells you the time!

PHOENIX:
I’ll like to see you get out of this.

[A flash of APRIL’S evil side appears, but it suddenly goes away. SHE giggles]

APRIL:
So what if I wiretapped some stupid woman’s phone. That has nothing to do with case. This a
murder trial, you bottom feeding lawyer scum, and I have a rock solid alibi!

PHOENIX:
Oh...
[Folds his arms] I know you do. I had a little chat with the bellboy yesterday. At 9:00 that night,
the same time as the murder, you ordered an iced coffee...and made sure the bellboy wouldn’t
forget you. But there was one thing he didn’t see...
[Pause] You may have a rock solid alibi, Miss May, but you are still connected to this crime.
[Dramatic pointing] You wiretapped the phone so that your accomplice would know the best
time to strike!

APRIL: [Struck again!]

GGGRRRRAAAAHHHHHH! ...gah.....You can’t....prove...!

PHOENIX: [Takes out the affidavit]

The Bellboy gave me this... this is a sworn statement that you were staying at the Gatewater
Hotel with someone else... and until we know who that person is... this trial can’t continue. But,
you Miss May, are officially under suspicion!!!!

APRIL: [Evil side shows]

GGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRAHHHHHHHHHHHH. You... porcupine... stupid... slime
eating... lying lawyer of a—

EDGEWORTH: [Desk slam....and sweats]

No!

[PHOENIX has a cocky smile on his face.]

JUDGE:
Mr. Edgeworth, the defense is correct. Until we know more, we cannot continue. I expect the
prosecution to look into this matter further.

[Sung]
This is all for today
For the trial of Maya Fey!

[Slams gavel on beat, spoken] Court is adjourned.

[Scene change to the DETENTION CENTER. We now see April May brooding inside.
PHOENIX enters and is led to the questioning room.]

GUARD:
There's a visitor for you.

APRIL: [Notices PHOENIX walking in, giggles]

I’m so honored that you have come to visit me...
[Her face turns dark] you swine of a spiky-haired bottom feeding lawyer.
...Have you come to laugh at me?

PHOENIX: [sits down in front of the glass]

No. I just had a few questions to ask.

APRIL:
Well I have nothing to say... except... You played me pretty well in court. I know you did all that
on purpose! You made sure to bring up the events of the wiretapping so that I would be held as
an accomplice. Well la de da, you succeeded!

PHOENIX:
It honestly couldn’t have gone any better.

[APRIL just glares]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
...Who was staying with you at the hotel?

APRIL:
I don’t have to answer that.

PHOENIX: [sighs, then an idea strikes him. HE bluffs]

Are you sure? What I didn’t tell the court was that in the Bellboy’s affidavit he told me
everything he knew about the man. He told me who he was...and even gave me a picture of him.
It would be easy to get the police involved... or even better... the press.

APRIL:
...! Ooohh...

PHOENIX:
I’m sure the press would have a field day with his reputation when they find out that he is a
witness to a murder, yet he’s in hiding!

APRIL:
ARGH! I’ll talk! I’ll talk! You win, lawyer!

[PHOENIX starts pumping his fists in the air vehemently]

APRIL [CONT’D]:
Stop that stupid victory dance, spiky!

PHOENIX: [coughs]
Tell me more about the man you were with.

APRIL:
That man...He’s my boss. Redd White. The president of the information gathering conglomerate,
Bluecorp.

PHOENIX:
...Redd...White...
[Pause] What do you mean by, “information gathering?”

APRIL:
Well....for an idiot like you, I suppose you could call them a detective agency.

PHOENIX:
H-Hey...
[Pause] So...this is the man that was with you the night of the murder?

APRIL:
...I-I can’t say any more. I don’t want to end up like that stupid woman, poking her nose where it
didn’t belong.

[PHOENIX looks at her, shocked and somewhat confused.]

APRIL [CONT’D]:
If you want more information.. .go talk to that tubby greaseball, Grossberg. He’s had first hand
experience with Redd White.

PHOENIX: [gets up to leave]

Miss April May...thank you for cooperating...

[PHOENIX exits. Cut to PHOENIX opening the door into the Grossberg and Co. Law Offices
lobby. HE takes in the scenery and grandeur of the offices, then moves up to the
SECRETARY’S desk.]
PHOENIX: [clears his throat before speaking]
Hello, ma’am. I’m here to see Marvin Grossberg,
[coughs] Ace Attorney.

SECRETARY:
You’ll have to wait, sir, he’s in a meeting.

PHOENIX:
But ma’am, surely you must have noticed... this! TAKE THAT!

[PHOENIX takes off his attorney’s badge and shows it proudly. Perhaps sparkles of light emit
from it. Whatever works.]

SECRETARY:
...and?

PHOENIX: [sighs]
Look, it’s kind of urgent. Can I please see him as soon as possible?

SECRETARY:
You can go wait outside his office–he should be finishing up shortly.

PHOENIX:
Thanks.

[PHOENIX walks down the hallway and takes a seat in front of the door into GROSSBERG’S
office. HE starts to hear a bit of a clamor and moves his ear to the door.]

REDD WHITE: [Sounding extraordinarily lighthearted]

And precisely how much do you wager this work of art here costs?

GROSSBERG:
Oh, ah... well, perhaps three million? Of course, I have no intention of parting with it...

REDD:
Splendiferous! I’ll take it!

GROSSBERG:
Oh, no, no, it’s not for sale.

REDD:
Nonsense, Grodyberg, everything has a price Here, I’ll just take it right now, you know I’m good
for the money, hahaha.

GROSSBERG:
Of course, of course, but, I could never part with it... Oh, no, please, put it down
REDD: [A terrifying mood swing]
DON’T TOUCH ME!!!

[Eerie silence]

REDD [CONT’D]:
Hahaha, so as I was extrapolizing earlier, I’ll take this painting, and I’ll see you the same time
next week.

[REDD swings the door open, painting in tow, almost hitting PHOENIX by doing so.]

REDD [CONT’D]:
Outta my way, kid. This painting is absolutely impriceable.

[REDD walks out of the office with smug satisfaction, the door left open. Back in the lobby,
REDD speaks once again to the SECRETARY.]

REDD [V.O.]:
Hey, toots, I need a new secretariat. Want a job at Bluecorp?

[REDD’S voice trails off as PHOENIX peeks in to see GROSSBERG straightening up his office
in a fervor.]

PHOENIX:
Um... Mr. Grossberg?

GROSSBERG:
Ah, jumping Jehosephats ...Oh goodness, m’boy... you startled me! You can’t just barge into
rooms unprovoked like that! Who do you think you are, Damon Gant?

PHOENIX:
What just happened? Who was that guy?

GROSSBERG:
Ah, that was Redd White, CEO of Bluecorp. He was... buying that painting from me.

PHOENIX:
That... didn’t sound like your normal business dealing.

GROSSBERG:
Well, it was... er... very precious to me. A special piece of my past, you might say...

PHOENIX:
Mr. Grossberg, I’m glad you brought that up, actually. You see, April May directed me to you,
and I think you know things that are very vital to this case. If you wouldn’t mind, can you tell me
a little bit about your past?

GROSSBERG:
My... past?
[Cue “The Scent of Fresh Lemons”]

GROSSBERG [CONT’D]: [sung]

Like the scent of fresh lemons
The days of my youuuuuth…!

PHOENIX:
OBJECTION! I… object… to your singing!

[End “The Scent of Fresh Lemons]

GROSSBERG:
Ahem... sorry, m’boy. I treat my past with a bit of... vehemence. In fact, seeing you at that trial
today reminded me much of myself back in my youth. Well, except you had far less muscle than
I did at the time, you see, and I was a bit more fashion-centric than you, but you were triumphant
nonetheless.

PHOENIX:
I... don’t know what to say.

GROSSBERG:
Thank you, m’boy, for defending that poor girl today. I’m not sure what I’d have done if things
had gone poorly for her...

PHOENIX:
Mr. Grossberg, if you were so worried about it, why didn’t you defend her yourself? I mean, I
feel I have a right to know...

GROSSBERG:
A right? Well... you see it’s... no. No, sir I need more time to think about it all, m’boy. It’s
simply... first Mia, now my painting... he’s being as bothersome as ever

PHOENIX:
...what was that?

GROSSBERG:
Oh. Oh goodness! M’boy, you heard nothing!

PHOENIX:
I think... it’s all coming together now, Mr. Grossberg. You and that man are obviously connected
somehow. And both of you are bound to this case. I thought it was strange, here was Maya, your
own apprentice’s little sister in dire need, accused of killing Mia Fey, no less, and still you
wouldn’t take the case. Grossberg, is that man... blackmailing you?

GROSSBERG:
No! I’ve no idea what you’re rambling about a man of my status being blackmailed?
Inconceivable! Unbelievable! I don’t know what you’re–

PHOENIX:
Mr. Grossberg. I just heard a man take a painting that you yourself said you had “no intention of
parting with” and you barely did a thing to stop him. Correct me if I’m wrong, but he obviously
has some sort of hold on you. And unless you’re lovers, this is the only other explanation I can
think of.

GROSSBERG:
Intimidation... yes, Redd White’s whole business is built around intimidation. Bluecorp is known
for finding peoples’ weaknesses, and they homed in on mine a long 15 years ago.

PHOENIX:
15 years ?

GROSSBERG: [sighs]
Sit down, m’boy. This one’s a doozy.

[The screen fades into what will become a flashback of certain DL-6 events.]

GROSSBERG [V.O, CONT’D]:

It all began with the “DL-6 incident.” 15 years ago I received a request from a spirit medium.
Her name was Misty Fey.

PHOENIX [V.O.]:
Fey?

GROSSBERG [V.O.]:
Yes. She was Mia’s... mother. You see, Misty Fey had been requisitioned to contact the spirit
world to find a killer. She failed, however, and was called a fraud. I did all I could to defend her
and cleared her of accusations, yet the murder remains unsolved to this day. Now, of course, the
police couldn’t very well admit they had used the help of a spirit medium. It would be a mockery
to the whole justice department. Nobody else knew... except Redd White. He offered me wealth
and riches. And I... broke down. Word got out, and the police came looking for the person who
had sung. Then I met with Redd White once again. However this time, he didn’t offer riches, but
blackmail.

[We fade back to present day, in the office

PHOENIX:
Mr. Grossberg... it’s been 15 years. Don’t you think it may be time to break free? I can help, I
just need your cooperation.
GROSSBERG:
This burden has been weighing me down a long time, m’boy... but I think you may be right.

[GROSSBERG hoists himself up and goes to the bookcase, pulling out a manilla folder.]

GROSSBERG [CONT’D]:
Here. I was able to procure this from the Fey offices as they were clearing out some of Mia’s
belongings. Mia caught on to Redd’s trickery and followed him for years.

[GROSSBERG hands PHOENIX the folder. “Take That ” appears on the screen being said by
GROSSBERG, perhaps even operatically sung. PHOENIX opens it and peruses the file as
GROSSBERG continues to talk.]

GROSSBERG [CONT’D]:
Suicides, m’boy. Hundreds of them. Policemen, politicians, lawyers, anyone. And as you might
be able to tell, there’s always one common denominator.

[The camera tilts down the paper as though from PHOENIX line of site. Over all the names on
the list is the word “White” written in red ink.]

PHOENIX:
...Redd White.

GROSSBERG:
Be careful, m’boy. Redd White holds the entire country in the palm of his hand. It won’t be easy.
Good luck.

PHOENIX:
This belonged to Mia...? Thank you, Mr. Grossberg. I think you gave me just what I needed.

[Screen fades out and back into BLUECORP, CEO’s Office. We are put en medias res during a
conversation between REDD and PHOENIX where REDD is showing off all of his glorious
treasures, statues, etc. It seems to have been going on for a long time.]

REDD:
...and this! Ah, this is the most esteemed part of my collection. The “Soupe du Jour”, one might
say.

PHOENIX:
The what...?

REDD:
Oh, pardon moi, my compatriarch. As you may or may not have noticed by now, I have been
blessified with a rather... giantesque vocabulary.
PHOENIX:
Of course, Mr. White. Can you answer some questions for me now?

REDD:
Hmm. Have I showed you everything?

PHOENIX:
Yes. Twice.

REDD:
Spectaculous! So, what would you like to know?

PHOENIX:
April May worked for you, yes?

REDD:
Yes, she was my secretariat. But after she was caught wiretapping, I couldn’t very well keep her
on. She was a naughty, naughty girl. Believe me, I know.

[PHOENIX recovers from poorly concealed innuendo.]

REDD [CONT’D]:
But I have a few questions for you, as well.

PHOENIX:
No, I’m the one asking the questions here!

[REDD stops for a minute, truly dumbfounded. HE then begins to laugh. Cue “Redd White, and
You”.]

REDD:
Let me guess, you’re a lawyer fresh out of law school, am I right?

PHOENIX:
Uh... yes, how did you know?

REDD:
Well, that’s the only explanation as to why you’d say something like... that. Let me explain
something, kid–Redd White makes the rules. What Redd says goes. There ain’t no right way
except the White way.

PHOENIX:
Well I was hoping to ask you some questions about the... “White” way.

REDD:
Splendiferous! What do you want to know?
PHOENIX:
Pretty ironic that the “White Way” has a lot to do with blackmail.

REDD:
What ? Hah! You are a delight Do you know who you’re talking to? I’m Redd White, CEO of
Bluecorp. I don’t think you comprestand

[sung]
Redd White makes the rules.
Redd White throws the dice.
Redd White’s got the personage that makes everyone look twice.

Redd White draws the lines.

Redd White deals the cards.
People stop me everywhere to betrust me their regards.

But Redd’s a decent man.

With old-fashioned ideals.
Redd will answer ONE question ‘cause that’s how nice he feels.

PHOENIX: [spoken]
Well, ok, Mr. White, fine. If Bluecorp isn’t for blackmail, what does it do, exactly?

REDD:
Ah, Bluecorp. My labor of love. My pride and prejudice

[sung]
Bluecorp deals in information,
We buy and sell it too.
You may not know, but Bluecorp is named for the color blue

[spoken]Thought it up myself

[sung]
Redd White gets the best
Redd White follows through
Ask not what you can do for Redd but what Redd can do for you

[spoken] And what can Redd White do for you, monseñor? I’ll count that last question as a
practice–now here’s your only chance; make it worthwhile.

PHOENIX:
Ok. Mr. White. There was one last thing I wanted to know: who’d you take that statue from?

REDD:
Take!? How dare you accusify me of something like that!? This is a Paris original straight from
Canada! Speaking of, I’ll bet you’ve never been to Canada. It’s not a far hike, just north of here.
Go straight, you can’t miss it. I especially love that mountain with the presidents, and that big
tower that leans to the side. Now what could ever make you think—

PHOENIX:
Who did you take it from? Senator Patrick McArthur, perhaps?

REDD:
I’m not familiar with the title of his personage...

[PHOENIX begins to sing in a straightforward version of Redd White’s tune, and REDD replies
in song with his original swung rhythm as the two begin to clash.]

PHOENIX: [sung]
A politician who killed himself

REDD:
I think I know his name...

PHOENIX:
He was caught embezzling government funds

REDD:
That really is a shame.

PHOENIX:
Then one day the press got wind of it

REDD:
Are you quite finished now?

PHOENIX:
The day after, he killed himself

REDD:
And this concerns me how?

PHOENIX: [in the tune of “Awakening”]

Mia Fey knew everything about your operation.
Your blackmailing has caused countless to die
Bluecorp’s blackmailing thrives
While you take hundreds of lives.
But it stops right here.
No more will you paralyze with fear!
REDD: [spoken]
You have some pretty magnificentacious claims there, Mr... Wrong was it? But how does this all
connect with me? Come now, make me laugh. Indulge me, it’s quite alright to exasperize my
prodigical and cosmopolitan sense of humór.

PHOENIX:
Mia Fey found the connection. On this file, there’s a list of suicides. All of them marked with the
name “White.”

[REDD, slightly taken aback, stares menacingly at PHOENIX. REDD then regains his
composure and laughs]

REDD:
Mr. Wrong, why are you spending all this time investigating me? Shouldn’t you be looking for
the murderer of your dear Ms. Fey?

PHOENIX:
And just what do you think I’m doing, Mr. White?

[PHOENIX raises an eyebrow and gives a small smirk. REDD gets red in the face (HAH) and
begins to smolder with anger.]

REDD: [sung]
You must have talked to Grodyberg.
I guess he had to speak.
Ask him why I have his painting.
I’ll tell ya why: he’s weak

PHOENIX: [meekly]
It’s Grossberg...

REDD:
Only the strong survive, kid,
And Redd White’s the alpha male
Redd White’s the king of the jungle–
Grossface... he’s a whale.

So don’t you come here trying

To kick me off my throne
Let he who is with sin, (and loves it )
Cast the final stone

[REDD pushes the button on his intercom. HIS new SECRETARY’S voice answers... it is
GROSSBERG’S SECRETARY.]

REDD [CONT’D]: [spoken]

Connect me to the prosecutor’s office, please, and then please call security. I’ve a raving
madman on my hands.

SECRETARY:
Yes, Mr. White.

[The phone rings for a second or so, then LANA SKYE picks up. No, seriously, that’s in the
game script. I swear.]

LANA:
White? What do you want? This isn’t a great time.

REDD:
I’ve decided I want to attestify in tomorrow’s trial. It seems the culprit was right here all along.

LANA:
I thought you said you didn’t want to have any part in–

REDD:
Quietude! I said I changed my mind, now didn’t I, and I DON’T believe you’re in any position to
question me.

[The phone is heard hanging up.]

PHOENIX:
No... you didn’t!

REDD:
Yeah, Mr. Lawyer? What’re you going to do? You don’t understand, kid. I control the police. I
control the prosecution. I control the judge.

[REDD begins to transition into the frightening character we heard earlier at GROSSBERG’S
office]

REDD [CONT’D]:
I am the law He who has the money has the control, Mr. Wrong. You’re nothing but a mere
lawyer. That’s all Mia Fey was, too

[sung]
Redd White breaks the rules.
Redd White loads the dice.
Redd White has the power, so take Redd White’s advice:

Redd White stacks the deck,

Redd White is always ahead...
Ask not what Redd can do for you, but what you can do for Redd
[Maniacal laughter, as two security guards drag PHOENIX out of the room.

Scene cuts to a small vignette in the DETENTION CENTER where a guard is escorting MAYA
out of the holding cell]

MAYA:
What’s going on?

GUARD:
They found the real killer, you’re free to go.

MAYA:
What ? No way! Ooh... I’d like to teach him a thing or two!

GUARD:
Here he comes, you can tell him yourself.

[A GUARD escorts PHOENIX into the holding area not so tenderly. As they pass through the
doors and passed MAYA, HER eyes widen in disbelief. SHE begins to tear up as SHE is further
escorted out of the premises. Fade to black.

Fade in to court the next day. PHOENIX is sweating bullets, MAYA beside him, and
EDGEWORTH is being EDGEWORTH. We all know how HE is. What a silly man.]

MAYA:
Are you sure you’re ready for this, Nick?

PHOENIX:
It’s gonna be tough. Redd White has this whole legal system in the palm of his hand... which
probably also includes the judge.

[The camera pans to the JUDGE getting situated. There is mild conversation going on in the
stands, until the JUDGE bangs his gavel loudly and begins to address the congregation]

JUDGE:
Today we reconvene for the case of State vs. Fey... Well, State vs. Wright, now, it seems. I will
now hear the opening statements of the defense and prosecution.

[The JUDGE glances down at PHOENIX, still incredibly nervous.]

JUDGE [CONT’D]:
Mr. Wright... where is your defense attorney?

PHOENIX:
I’ve, er... elected to defend myself, your honor.
JUDGE:
Mr. Wright, are you sure you’re up for this?

PHOENIX:
Yes, your honor. It’s the only way.

JUDGE:
Very well. Your opening statement, please?

PHOENIX: [Clears his throat dramatically]

I didn’t do it.

JUDGE:
Is... that all?

[PHOENIX nods]

JUDGE [CONT’D]:
Mr. Edgeworth, your opening statement, please?

EDGEWORTH:
Decisive evidence, a decisive witness... this case is about as cut and dry as they come.

JUDGE:
Very well, you may call your witness.

PHOENIX:
Um... wait. Objection! Your Honor, aren’t you curious as to why this witness didn’t testify
before?

JUDGE:
No.

EDGEWORTH:
I call Mr. Redd White to the stand.

[A bailiff escorts a totally blinged-out REDD to the stand.]

EDGEWORTH [CONT’D]:
Please state your name and occupation

REDD:
Redd White, CEO of Bluecorp. But my friends know me as “Blanco Niño,” and may I say that
it’s good to see you, Your Honor! I trust we’re still on for our meeting next week?
JUDGE:
...yes, sir.

MAYA:
This is bad, isn’t it.

[PHOENIX’S head sinks into his hands]

JUDGE:
If you would, Mr. White, please give your witness account of the night of the murder.

REDD:
With utmost gratifaction, Your Honor. Let’s see... I was sitting by the window perusifying... er,
that’s reading to those more primitivious, Mr. Wright, my newest children’s book “Redd White’s
Excellent Adventure,” when I glanced outside to see a spiky-haired man causing a ruckus
through the window of the building across the street.

PHOENIX:
Objection! Ms. May clearly stated that the perpetrator looked like a woman.

REDD:
Well, I suppose that was a poorly concealed insult, Mr. Wright.

[PHOENIX pouts, and MAYA tries her best to hold back her laughter]

REDD: [CONT’D]:
I called Ms. May, who nearly fainted in distress. We clearly saw you give chase to poor Ms. Mia.

PHOENIX:
Hold it. Would you mind elaborating a bit? I think it’s worth knowing all the details

REDD:
Of course! Comprendo! The victim ran to the left as she was being attacked, where you did her
in with one fell swoop!

PHOENIX:
She ran left?

[He begins to smirk. Camera pans quickly to EDGEWORTH who is beginning to get ruffled.]

EDGEWORTH:
Are you completely sure, Mr. White?

REDD:
Hah, naturalmente, Miles. I am abso-posi-lutely perfect! She ran to the left, I saw it very–
Phoenix:
Objection!

REDD:
Please quiet down, you're hurting my–

PHOENIX:
Mr. White. You say that the victim ran left, while Miss May stated that she ran right. Just look at
these floor plans.

[The floor plans are shown on screen and then become a replica of the crime scene, complete
with MIA and REDD standing in as the killer. The action as PHOENIX tells it is played out in
this arena.]

PHOENIX [V.O, CONT’D]:

If the victim ran left, as you say she did,

[MIA begins to run left.]

PHOENIX [V.O, CONT’D]:

she would be in fact running away from the door, and into a dead end.

[MIA crashes into the wall. We cut back to the courtroom]

REDD:
That’s odd... no, no, I saw her run to the left! I did!

MAYA: [aside to PHOENIX]

You know... I don’t think he’s lying.

PHOENIX: [whispered]
That can only mean one thing.

JUDGE:
Mr. Wright, if you have secrets, I hope you brought enough for the rest of the courtroom. Please
explain this contradiction.

PHOENIX:
It’s very easy, Your Honor. Both Miss May and Mr. White are correct in their testimonies. It’s
simply that April May saw the action from her hotel room, while Mr. White was standing right
here.

[PHOENIX puts his finger on the paper, while the area in the floor plans is lit up in red.]

EDGEWORTH:
This is no time for jokes, Wright That’s where the killer was... standing...
[EDGEWORTH’S eyes widen slightly, as the congregation begins to chat loudly. The JUDGE
bangs his gavel several times.]

JUDGE:
Order! I will have order! Wright, just what are you suggesting?

REDD:[Pulling at his collar, as though he is hot, noticeably more anxious now]

Ho ho, don’t get mad at the boy, he’s just a rapscallion grasping at straws. Uh, I think it’s time
for a recess, don’t you?

PHOENIX:
No, we need to hear the whole story straight from you, Mr. White.

REDD:
Er... very well. I think that I’ve found my error, may I be allowed to testify again, Mr. Your
Honor?

JUDGE:
Absolutely.

REDD:
Uh, thanks. Well, er... where to begin. I first looked over at the window when that thingy tipped
over. Yeah, that’s right!

PHOENIX:
What... “thingy”

REDD:
Oh, oh, right. The glass er... lighty thingy.

PHOENIX:
Your giantesque vocabulary seems to be escaping you, Mr. White. You’re sure you saw the light
stand?

[REDD nods nervously]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
I request his testimony be amended.

JUDGE:
Agreed, Mr. White. Please include more information about the glass lighty thingy.

REDD:
It tipped over, you see. Then Ms. Fey ran to the left, where you tried to attack her... She uh... oh,
she dodged then ran for the door... Um... and then... she... oh! You clonked her over the head!
Thwap! Just like that!

JUDGE: [With a certain childlike whimsy.]

Heh. Thwap! [he bangs his gavel]

REDD:
Come on, surely you remember, Mr. Wright!

[PHOENIX glares at REDD]

REDD [CONT’D]:
Um... my stomach hurts. How about that recess?

PHOENIX:
Don’t worry, this will be over soon.

[REDD looks visibly distressed. HE starts to pale as he makes an audible “gulp” noise]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
You claim to have seen the glass light stand, but that’s where your testimony begins to unravel
once again. How did you see the light stand?

REDD:
Mr. Wrong, haven’t I made it abuntaciously clear that I saw the murder from the window? The
light stand was in the office, too! I saw it!

PHOENIX:
But how could you have when, according to this floor map,

[The camera zooms in on the map as PHOENIX further narrates]

PHOENIX [V.O, CONT’D]:

the light stand is out of sight!?

[The area of light coming through the window is illuminated. The light stand is not in it.]

PHOENIX [V.O, CONT’D]:

The only way you’d have been able to see the light stand is if you were in the Fey and Co.
Offices. In other words,

[We cut back to the courtroom]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
you were at the scene of the crime when the murder took place!

REDD:
I... Ms Mia... no... no. No! No!

[The ferocious REDD WHITE comes back as HE screams “No!” in “Stella” fashion, and then
HIS head collapses into HIS hands as they clutch HIS face. There is a several second silence]

JUDGE:
...Mr. White?

PHOENIX:
Think it’s about time to confess?

REDD:
I... I... It was...

EDGEWORTH:
Objection! Stop right there, Mr. White

PHOENIX:
Ugh... I forgot about you...

EDGEWORTH:
I agree with Wright. I believe it’s about time you confessed.

PHOENIX:
Wow, thanks Edgeworth, that’s really honest–

EDGEWORTH:
To wiretapping.

PHOENIX AND REDD:

...what!?

EDGEWORTH:
Allow me to explain. Mr. White’s company deals in information, and he had instructed Miss
May to place a wiretap in the Fey and Co. Offices. But the question that remains is who actually
installed the tap? Was it Miss May? Mr. Wright would have you believe that he could only see
the glass stand on the night of the murder. But what if it was indeed Mr. White who placed the
wiretap? There would’ve been plenty of opportunity to identify the light stand, thus revealing
Mr. Wright’s theory as the baseless conjecture it truly is. Now, Mr. White... was it not you who
placed the tap?

REDD:
Uh... well, I mean, that is to say...
[HE searches for the answer] ...yes?

JUDGE:
Mr. Wright? Do you have anything to say about this?

PHOENIX:
...so. How about that recess?

EDGEWORTH:
I think not.
[Finger wag] The time has come for you to admit your defeat.

[PHOENIX, utterly spent, shoves the court record aside dispiritedly.]

MAYA:
Phoenix!

JUDGE:
Mr. Wright? Are you giving up?

PHOENIX:
…Yes, Your Honor.

MAYA:
No!

PHOENIX:
There’s nothing else I can do, Maya.

EDGEWORTH:
I commend you on your defense. You fought…honorably.

[PHOENIX lowers his head, awaiting his sentence]

MIA: [offscreen]
Honestly, Wright...if I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times…

PHOENIX:
Maya? For a second I almost thought you sounded like—

[PHOENIX turns to see MIA standing beside HIM]

MIA [CONT’D]:
Never give up.

PHOENIX:
Mia?!

[PHOENIX’S vision blacks out and we see him topple over.

THE COURTROOM (again). PHOENIX blinks awake to the mutters of the gallery. HE’S on the
floor behind HIS bench. HE turns his head and is immediately faced with MIA’S suit-clad
chest.]

MIA:
Up here, Phoenix.

[PHOENIZ looks up and sees MIA]

PHOENIX:
Ch-Chief…

[MIA’S face blurs, changing to channeled MIA in MAYA’S body]

MIA:
I’m not the Chief anymore, Phoenix. It looks like the shock of your defeat was enough to awaken
Maya’s powers.

PHOENIX:
So you’re…

MIA: [nods]
Maya is channeling me. She never gave up, and neither can you!

PHOENIX:
B-but Chief—

MIA:
Talk later. Your little performance bought us some time, but Maya’s powers are still weak. I
don’t know how long I have, so listen up. Do you still have that receipt?

PHOENIX:
The memo you wrote “Maya” on?

MIA: [Rolls her eyes]

I didn’t write—nevermind. What’s important right now isn’t what’s on the back, but what’s on
the front.

[MIA hands PHOENIX the receipt, pointing out the significant portion]

MIA [CONT’D]:
Look!

PHOENIX: [snatching the paper as he understands]

But this means…!

MIA:
Yes. Are you ready?

PHOENIX:
Y-yes Chief!

MIA:
Okay then…the real challenge begins now, Phoenix!

[MIA helps PHOENIX up]

JUDGE:
Is the defendant…er, are you alright, Mr. Wright?

PHOENIX:
Sorry, Your Honor. I’m fine now.

JUDGE:
Then let’s just start where we left off.

EDGEWORTH:
Your Honor, there is nothing left! All that remains is for you to pass judgment on the defendant
Phoenix Wright!

PHOENIX:
Hold it! Your Honor, please! Give me one more chance to prove my innocence!

JUDGE:
Hmm…Mr. Edgeworth, do you have an opinion on the matter?

EDGEWORTH: [shrug, headshake]

I’ll say…let us give Mr. Wright his “last chance.”

JUDGE:
Very well. Mr. Wright, if you will.

PHOENIX:
Yes, Your Honor. Mr. White, you have testified that you saw Mia’s glass light stand when you
entered the Fey and Co. Law offices one week before the murder, correct?

REDD:
Exactastically. I almost couldn’t have put it better myself.

PHOENIX:
I say you’re lying, Mr. White! Look closely at this receipt. Do you see the word Maya written in
blood?

EDGEWORTH:
You’re grasping, Wright…

PHOENIX:
I think not. Mr. White,

[PHOENIX crosses over to the witness stand and hands the receipt to REDD]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
would you please read to the court what is written on the other side?

REDD:
I suppose it couldn’t hurt to indulge you. Last request of the condemnified and all...“Item: one
glass light stand…”
[HE pauses] No…it can’t be…

PHOENIX:
And the date, Mr. White?

[REDD doesn’t answer]

EDGEWORTH:
Mr. White? Argh.

[EDGEWORTH takes the receipt and reads it off himself]

EDGEWORTH [CONT’D]:
“Date of purchase, August 2nd”

[EDGEWORTH slams the paper back to the stand in disgust]

EDGEWORTH [CONT’D]:
…the day before the murder.

PHOENIX:
There’s no way out of this one, Mr. White! Even if you had visited the Fey and Co. law offices
before the crime, the stand could not have been there!

REDD:
NO! Impossachievable! I…I can’t…

PHOENIX:
Well, Your Honor? I understand that you must be under a considerable amount of pressure, but I
think you have to agree that it’s impossible to declare me guilty under these circumstances. I call
for an immediate verdict!

JUDGE: [hesitant]
…Very well…then I suppose I must pronounce the defendant, Mr. Phoenix Wright…

EDGEWORTH: [deskslam]
OBJECTION! While I admit there is a certain thread of logic to the defendant’s claims, there is
no concrete proof that Phoenix Wright is innocent! ERGO! I would like an extension to
investigate this new…evidence.

PHOENIX:
OBJECTION!
[Deskslam again!] Mr. White’s guilt is obvious! There is no need to prolong this trial any
further!

EDGEWORTH:
OBJECTION! Know your place, Wright! If anyone is to accuse Mr. White of murder, it would
be me, the prosecution. I demand another day of trial!

PHOENIX:
So you can create some new damning evidence while I’m in jail? I think not, Edgeworth!

JUDGE:
Order! Mr. Wright, your comment will be stricken from the record!

PHOENIX: [gritting his teeth]

…Yes, Your Honor.

JUDGE:
This court is now in recess. Mr. White, you may go. Thank you for your time.

[REDD begins to leave the stand, relieved, to the angry muttering of the gallery]

MIA:
OBJECTION!
[Finger point] The witness will stay!
[aside to PHOENIX] Phoenix. Read this. Out loud.

PHOENIX:
Um. Okay.

[PHOENIX begins to reel off a long list of names while MIA stares REDD down]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Meriwether Clarke. Senator Patrick MacArthur. Sarah Williams. Kira Glassborough.
REDD: [whispered, vicious]
Where did you get that?!

PHOENIX (CONT’D):
Catherine Winter. Mortimer Truce. Rachel Blier.

REDD: [weaker]
You—you can’t prove anything!

PHOENIX:
Joel Williams. Patricia Fisher. Andrew Pascal.

[Shot of MIA utterly glaring—think scary 3-5 MIA]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
…Justin Briner—

[At this point REDD breaks, shouting over PHOENIX]

REDD:
Aaaaaaaaah! Stop! Desist! Halt!
[Panting] Please, Your Honor, make him stop!

MIA:
Mr. White. You will admit your guilt, right here, right now. Or else this list of supposed suicides
will be released to the press.

EDGEWORTH:
OBJECTION! This is clearly against procedure—

REDD: [interrupting]
I…I confess.
[Louder] I confess! I did it, I hit her!

MIA:
Hit who, Mr. White?

REDD:
I hit Ms Mia with the Thinker!

MIA:
Thank you, Mr. White.
[To the JUDGE] Case closed, Your Honor.

[Pause while the JUDGE just looks back and forth from MIA to REDD]
JUDGE:
…Well. I see no reason to prolong this trial further.

[Shot of EDGEWORTH sulking wordlessly, in shock but hiding it well]

JUDGE [CONT’D]:
I pronounce the defense—er, the defendant, Mr. Phoenix Wright…NOT GUILTY. This court is
adjourned.

[MAYA’S power runs up and MIA/MAYA’S body slumps against the wall as we see REDD
being led out by a bailiff]

PHOENIX: [relieved, on an exhale]

Thanks, Chief, you really bailed me out there—
[He notices Maya] Chief? Mia!

[PHOENIX realizes SHE’S not breathing. And smaller.]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Oh.

[For super bonus hero-points, PHOENIX can pick MAYA up and leave the courtroom with HER

Scene change. THE DEFENDANT’S LOBBY. PHOENIX still carries MAYA in his arms.]

MAYA: [blinking awake]

Mr. Wright? What are you doing?

PHOENIX: [almost dropping MAYA]

Oh!
[HE sets HER down hastily] Sorry.

MAYA:
So…did we win?

PHOENIX: [grins]
Yes, thanks to you and Mia.

MAYA:
I guess you were lucky to have the Fey sisters on your side!

PHOENIX:
I was lucky, period…I’m just glad I wasn’t declared guilty!

MAYA:
Mr. Wright…you really risked a lot to help me out.

PHOENIX: [embarrassed]
It’s nothing, really. It worked out in the end, and that’s what counts.

MAYA:
Still, we’ll never forget this—not me…or my Sis.

[PHOENIX is suddenly hit by the reality of MIA’S absence]

PHOENIX:
Maya, I…
[Beat, then in a rush] I’ve got to get back to the office.

[PHOENIX exits hurriedly. MAYA looks after him, head cocked thoughtfully

Scene change. The FEY & CO. LAW OFFICES.

PHOENIX stands outside the door, maybe tracing the nameplate with his fingertips. The dark
office looks exactly the same as it did the night of the crime.]

PHOENIX: [Sung quietly, to the tune of Awakening]

Here I stand the court and the trial behind me
Here I go, just take it a day at a time
I’ll miss you, Maya Fey,
There was so much left to say,
And now Chief’s really gone...

Somehow I’ll force myself to move on...

[PHOENIX turns to close the door behind him, only to hear a voice from the shadows of the
hallway]

MAYA: [In a slightly more Mia-ish register than usual]

Don’t think you’re getting away that easily.

PHOENIX:
ACK!

[PHOENIX stumbles back but recovers his balance]

MAYA:
Ahahaha! You should have seen your face!

PHOENIX:
Chief—Mia—I--
MAYA:
What are you talking about? It’s me, silly.

[MAYA flicks on the lights, ending the crazy Awakening parallels]

MAYA [CONT’D]:
Did I look like my sister?

PHOENIX:
Maya…what are you doing here?

MAYA:
I thought you might be lonely, cleaning up the office by yourself. So I dropped by to help!

[MAYA tugs the folders from PHOENIX’S arms before HE thinks to resist]

MAYA: [CONT’D]:
Now, where do these go?

PHOENIX:
Ah—wait!

[MAYA has found the shelf of old court records, still in disarray from earlier searches]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Maya, it isn’t that I don't appreciate the offer, it’s just—

MAYA:
Gee, Nick, you’re really disorganized, huh? I mean, there’s a whole section just missing here.
Did you lose it or something?

PHOENIX:
Hey, I—wait, Nick?

[MAYA begins reorganizing the shelves, making more of a mess as she goes]
MAYA:
It’s a great name! Mia told me that’s what your friends call you.

PHOENIX:
Well…Larry does. But that isn’t the point. Maya—

MAYA: [shaking her head at the files]

Let me guess, you have trouble dressing in the morning, right?

PHOENIX:
Huh?

MAYA:
Exactly!

PHOENIX:
Hold it! Maya, really—

[PHOENIX takes HER shoulders gently and turns HER away from the shelves]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
—what’s going on here?

MAYA:
You’re going to keep Sis’ office, aren’t you?

PHOENIX: [He hasn’t really thought about it yet]

Um. Well…yeah, of course!

[Cue “I’ll Be There”]

MAYA:
So...would it be okay if I stayed here for awhile?

PHOENIX:
You mean, in this office?

MAYA:
Well, you know, I’d work here.

PHOENIX:
So you're applying for a job. Well, okay...ahem. Do you have any prior experience working in a
law firm?

MAYA: [cheerfully]
Nope!

PHOENIX:
Did you perhaps study some of the techniques your sister used?

MAYA: [cheerfully]
Not a bit!

PHOENIX:
Do you have any knowledge at all about law?
MAYA: [cheerfully]
None whatsoever!

PHOENIX:
Maya! I'm starting to wonder what exactly you can do for me...

MAYA:
Oh, lots of things!

[sung]
I'll water Charley each time you forget,
I'd clean the litter if you had a pet.
I'll keep the couch warm whenever you're gone,
And sometimes, I may mow the lawn!

PHOENIX: [spoken]
What lawn!?

MAYA: [sung]
I promise your remote won't gather dust,
And that your TV trays never will rust.
I don't need gratitude, or a high pay, (PHOENIX: Great.)
Just feed me four meals every day! (PHOENIX: What? OBJECTION!)

And...

I'll be there when you need a friend; I'll be there to support you...
And in the courtroom, I'll help you defend, every time they outsmart you! ("PHOENIX: Hey...")
I'll provide a pleasant mood, all that we have, we can share:
You'll lend your money, your home and your food,
And it's true that for you, I'll be there!

[spoken] Sounds like a nice arrangement, eh, Nick?

PHOENIX:
Well…

MAYA:
Oh, and that's not all I can provide!

[simultaneously, sung]

With me around you'll have nothing to fear,

I'll be your watchdog when burglars are near.
They'll stay away or else I'll make 'em pay,
'Cause nobody fights like a Fey!
Nick, this clicks, it's
Going to work out okay!
Keep an open mind,
If there's a will, there's a way!

PHOENIX:
Maya, I, uh
Don't quite know what to say.
I'm a decent lawyer,
But fatherhood's not my forte.
As a caretaker, well frankly, I reek.
I had a goldfish — it died in a week!
I babysat poorly way back in the day...
They paid me to keep me away!

[End duet]

PHOENIX:
I can't see myself undertaking this task,
So please don't think I'm a jerk...

MAYA:
To have you around is the one thing I ask,
And I've got a hunch this is going to work!

PHOENIX: [spoken]
Now wait a minute...are you asking to live here, in the office?

MAYA:
Haha, of course not! I'm not sleeping here—that'd just be weird. I'm only going to be working...
and maybe spending all my free time here. You know, watching your TV, eating your food, that
sort of thing...

PHOENIX:
That's not exactly sweetening the deal.

MAYA:
Well, there is one other reason: this note. I found it in my stuff a couple weeks ago. Mia must've
slipped it in last time I visited. Here.

PHOENIX: [reading]
"If anything should happen, take care of Phoenix for me."

MAYA:
She must have known how risky her pursuit of Redd White was.
PHOENIX:
So she trusts us to watch out for each other...

MAYA:
Yes. And the truth is...

[sung, very softly]

Since Mia passed on, I've felt all alone and torn up inside.
All hope was lost, and I had no shoulder to cry on.
[passionately] Then you came along, and I feel like I'm home when you're at my side!
I deeply needed someone that I could rely on.

And if you're with me, we'll make it through,

Anytime and anywhere!
I can stay strong and I'll show that it's true,
Just as long as I know you'll be there!

PHOENIX: [spoken]
Alright, alright!
x
[sung]
Well, I'm convinced. We can give it a shot.
Make sure you give everything that you've got.
So I'll see you every weekday at nine,
Now just sign right here on the line!

And

PHOENIX/MAYA:
I'll be there, and I'll watch your back.
Don't despair, I'm behind you.

MAYA:
If I need a tightwad...

PHOENIX:
Or I need a brat...

PHOENIX/MAYA:
I'll know just where to find you!

MAYA:
Through thick and thin, we'll shine the light,

PHOENIX/MAYA:
A defensive, powerhouse pair!
PHOENIX:
Okay, you win, you'll start tonight...

MAYA:
I knew that you would make it right...

PHOENIX/MAYA:
For truth and justice, we will fight--!
And for you, I will be there.

MAYA:
Now let's go celebrate with some burgers. Your treat.

[Fade to Black]

Week 3

[Cut in, the Steel Samurai and the Evil Magistrate are seen in heated battle. The shadowed
figures move up and down as they talk. Cliché, badly translated, Chinese drama]

MAGISTRATE:
Hurha! You, the Steel Samurai, have disgraced me for the last time. The moon, pale in the sky,
cries out for vengeance.

STEEL SAMURAI:
Cries for vengeance? No, the pale moon cries for you! For it knows, this will be the last you see
of it!
[Moves in for final attack] See you in hell, EVIL MAGISTRATE!

ALL TOGETHER NOW:

Whhhooooooo! Grrraaaaaaaah!

ANNOUNCER:
The warrior’s swords gleam and strike in the glow of the moon. One has fallen...but who? Only
the pale moon knows...
[Suddenly happy] And you can too! Just tune in for next week’s exciting episode: “The Dark
Messenger Returns!!”

[Cue “The Steel Samurai Theme Song”. It plays continuously even as the scene panels out to
show a dumbfounded PHOENIX staring at the television screen in the office.]

PHOENIX: [Talking to the television]

I've been degraded to watching children’s television.

[PHOENIX stares at the TV with a mixed look of dislike and confusion]

PHOENIX:
What does Maya see in you!?

[Just at the end of that sentence, MAYA barges into the room. PHOENIX jumps up in surprised
and changes the channel.]

MAYA: [Holding the office phone, sing-song voice]

Niiiiiick! Phone for you!

[PHOENIX gets up from where HE is and takes the phone. Just before HE can answer it, a news
bulletin appears]

TV ANNOUNCER:
This just in. Jack Hammer, who plays the Evil Magistrate, villain on the children’s show “The
Steel Samurai Warrior of Neo Olde Tokyo” was found dead—impaled on the samurai spear. The
police have arrested Will Powers under suspicion of the crime. Will Powers is –

[The phone beeps to signal call waiting, but is ignored.]

PHOENIX:
Who’s Will Powers?

MAYA: [completely in shock of the news]

T-The Steel Samurai. Nick! The Steel Samurai just skewered the Evil Magistrate with his
Samurai Spear!

PHOENIX:
....Is that how you’re going around explaining this?
This has to be some type of joke—

MAYA: [Clearly overreacting]

This is a nightmare! The soulful image of the Steel Samurai is ruined! The world is over!!

[The phone beeps again. This time it’s noticed.]

PHOENIX: [Answering the phone]

Sorry to keep you on hold so long. This is the Wright and Co Law Offices...

WILL POWERS: [On the Phone]

...Is this Phoenix Wright? Attorney at law?

PHOENIX:
Yes, this is him. And who am I speaking to?
WILL: [A small sniffle is heard]
...T-This is Will Powers...the S-Steel Samurai...

[Dramatic music and Phoenix has a look of shock on his face as the scene fades out]

Fade in, PHOENIX and MAYA are walking into THE DETENTION CENTER. THEY already
called ahead so everything is prepared for them.]

MAYA: [ecstatic chanting]

He’s innocent! The Steel Samurai is innocent!

PHOENIX: [sighs]
We haven’t even talked to him yet...

MAYA:
But it’s the Steel Samurai! How can he not be innocent!?

[THEY enter a small room where WILL is already waiting for them behind the glass. MAYA
sees him and becomes quiet, hiding a bit behind PHOENIX]

PHOENIX:
What’s wrong? Aren’t you going to ask for an autograph and a picture?

MAYA:
...Is that guy really him? Will Powers...the Steel Samurai?

PHOENIX:
Of course it’s him!

MAYA: [Pause]
...He did it...Murder....At least once...or maybe twice...
[Nodding] Yeah...murder...

PHOENIX:
Maya! What are you saying!?
[Looks at WILL, then turns back MAYA] Don’t judge a book by its cover!

WILL: [cough]
Um...Something wrong?

PHOENIX and MAYA:

N-No nothing!

WILL:
Y-You’re disappointed aren’t you....That I’m the Steel Samurai....
MAYA:
D-Disappointed? N-No....just..surprised....

PHOENIX:
Not helping......

WILL:
It’s fine...When I got the part of the Steel Samurai...I decided I would never show my face in
public until the job was over. It’s the kids, you know. I didn’t want to wreck their dreams....
[Pause] So much for dreams...they must hate the Steel Samurai now
[Cries holding a tissue] Uwaaah!

MAYA:
...Nick....

[PHOENIX looks at her]

MAYA [CONT’D]:
He’s a good guy! He didn’t do it!

PHOENIX:
... Sudden change of heart?

[MAYA pouts. Once that is over, both PHOENIX and MAYA move to sit at the chairs in front
of the glass]

PHOENIX:
Mr. Powers....could you tell us what happened?

WILL:
Y-Yes. It seems like only yesterday...wait...um..it was yesterday...
[Pause] Um...yes, at 9:00 AM that morning, I joined the cast at Global Studios. We went through
a few action sequences at 10 AM, before taking a break at around noon. We were given the rest
of the evening to ourselves...at least until 5:00 PM, since that was the time we had our group
rehearsal.

PHOENIX:
What were you doing during this free time?

WILL:
........Um... after the run through I was a little tired. So once I was done with lunch, I took a nap
in my dressing room. When I woke up, it was after 5:00! Thinking I missed the rehearsal I
hurried to the studio!
[Sniffle] I-I found everyone there in a state of panic... and I was arrested on the spot! W-What
will the kids think?!
[Sniffle] I tried to grab my mask...b-but...
PHOENIX:
I-It’s fine Mr. Powers! Please contain yourself... Do you know anything about what happened at
the studio?

WILL: [sniffle, sniffle]

Y-Yes... I was told that when 5:00 PM came around... and everyone gathered at Studio 1.... The
Evil Magistrate was found lying near the set... T-They took off his mask.... and it was... Jaaack...
the speeear... [sobs]

PHOENIX:
The “Samurai Spear”?

WILL:
I-It’s the long spear that I...that the Steel Samurai uses in battle. [sniffle]

[Silence]

PHOENIX:
...Could you possibly explain to me what “the Steel Samurai” is?

MAYA:
Only the best show ever!
[Turns to WILL] Mr. Powers, please forgive my partner, he lives under a rock and has lost touch
with the world!

PHOENIX:
Hey!

WILL: [gives a small smile]

It’s alright, really. I enjoy explaining the show.
The Steel Samurai is the lead character in a popular kid’s show. He walks the streets of Neo Olde
Tokyo, fighting battle after battle against the Evil Magistrate and his minions. Of course... he
never really defeats the Evil Magistrate. Although....now he’s dead
[sniff and cries] Uwaaaah!

MAYA:
Don’t worry Mr. Powers, we know you didn’t do it!

WILL: [small smile]

T-Thank you.

PHOENIX:
Mr. Powers… before we go... I just wanted to ask... Why did you personally call my law office?
Why not have one of your “people” do it for you?
WILL:
Yes...

PHOENIX:
I see.... well... I think we should probably check out the scene of the murder...

WILL:
R-Right! Here, take this with you!
[Hands over the card key] This is the card key for Global Studios. It will give you access to
everything in the studios....
[sniffle] Thanks so much for taking my case...

MAYA:
It was no problem!
[To PHOENIX] Come on, Nick! We should head to the studios right away and bust this case
wide open! But firrrst, can I have your autogr—

PHOENIX: [Dragging MAYA]

No time for autographs and pictures!

[MAYA drops her camera and autograph book.

Scene change, fade in to PHOENIX and MAYA at the huge arches of the entrance to GLOBAL
STUDIOS. PHOENIX is trying in vain to read a map of the studios, trying to read it sideways
and upside down as HE does so, and MAYA is bubbling with sheer anticipation. A camera slung
about her neck, SHE is snapping as many pictures as possible of every inane thing in the area.]

MAYA:
Nick! Can you believe it!? This is where the magic happens! Global Studios! But... [Cupping her
eyes with her hands, as makeshift binoculars] I don’t see the Evil Magistrate’s Malicious
Mausoleum anywhere. Is it on the map?

PHOENIX:
You know, it might be. I can’t tell where a single thing is!

MAYA:
Here, let me look!

[MAYA grabs an edge of the map from PHOENIX’S hands and pulls it toward her. A struggle
ensues as they both yell at each other things such as “I know what I’m doing!”, “Stop That!”, etc.
The camera is zoomed in on the map being pulled this way and that until a shrill, heartless voice
rings out to pierce the hearts of millions of babies.]

WENDY OLDBAG: [Offscreen]

And where do you think you’re going?
[OLDBAG is still out of sight behind the giant folding map. PHOENX and MAYA instantly stop
struggling, moving the map down out of their line of sight to reveal OLDBAG. PHOENIX and
MAYA both look at each other and grimace. THEIR fight has brought them in front of
OLDBAG’S security station, where SHE has stepped out to confront them.]

OLDBAG [CONT’D]:
I’ll ask again. Where do you think you’re going!?

PHOENIX: [Completely speechless]

Uh... Steel Samurai! Will Powers! Dead! We’re lawyers... oh! Ah! Take That!

[PHOENIX flashes his attorney’s badge in all its useless glory.]

OLDBAG:
Yeah?

PHOENIX:
Why doesn’t that ever work...?

OLDBAG:
Well, I’m security, and it’s my job to keep gawkers like you two out of here!

MAYA:
Gawkers?

OLDBAG:
Yeah! Gawkers! Sightseers! Tourists! You know, Gawkers!

[The next dialogue begins under the ranting and raving of OLDBAG. PHOENIX and MAYA
talk as OLDBAG continues]

OLDBAG [CONT’D]:
I know the type, you heard about what happened to Hammer and now you come to just look and
laugh and blow up balloons, well, sorry to say, I can’t letcha do that, gawkers! Something
horrible happens and all you can think of is to stare at it! If I drove a car off the Empire State, all
of you would just look and point and do nothing to save me, despicable! Shouldn’t you be doing
a job, or do lawyers not work anymore? Have times changed so much that now lawyers have
nothing better to do than snoop around film studios and play with dear little old ladies hearts like
mine!? Well you don’t see me flashing badges and prancing around in hippie clothes, and for
good reason, too!

[As OLDBAG rants, the camera shifts to MAYA and PHOENIX standing next to each other,
flabbergasted.]

MAYA:
How long do you think this’ll go on?
GUMSHOE: [Offscreen]
A long time, pal...

[The camera’s scope expands to show that GUMSHOE has been standing next to PHOENIX the
whole time, just as dazed and confused at the spectacle as PHOENIX and MAYA]

PHOENIX:
Ah!

GUMSHOE:
Hey, pal.

PHOENIX:
You too?

GUMSHOE:
Yep.

[THEY stand in silence for a moment.]

PHOENIX:
That’s it... Hold it!

[OLDBAG reels around, flames in her eyes]

OLDBAG:
WHAT DID YOU SAY, WHIPPERSNAPPER!?

PHOENIX:
Uh... um... Continue!

[“Continue!” appears on the screen much like the other bubbles. Again OLDBAG starts ranting.
Further dialogue happens underneath.]

OLDBAG:
Honestly, young’uns these days don’t have an ounce of respect! In my day, if we disrespected
our elders, we’d get the belt, or worse even, two belts! Wrapped around each other! Attached to a
paddle!

MAYA:
Am I gonna be like her when I grow up, Nick?

PHOENIX:
Probably.
GUMSHOE:
She won’t let me investigate, pal! Lemme try... Hey, lady!

OLDBAG:
What did you call me!?

GUMSHOE:
Ma’am?

OLDBAG:
You’re on thin ice.

GUMSHOE:
Um, I’m Detective Gumshoe, reporting for duty to investigate this crime scene! TAKE THAT!

[GUMSHOE shines his police badge proudly in OLDBAG’S face, his face beaming with a huge
proud smile. OLDBAG glares coldly up at him. There is an awkward silence as no one moves.
OLDBAG slaps the badge out of GUMSHOE’S hand, who then pouts like a kicked puppy.]

PHOENIX:
Look, can someone here just please tell me what went on?

GUMSHOE:
Well I bet I could better than this lady anyhow.

[OLDBAG, sensing competition, steps in]

OLDBAG:
Hah! This mangy detective won’t tell it half as well.

[Insert song here. I let you guys down, I admit it. ]

[Following the song...]

OLDBAG:
Hey, Shaggy! I’ve had about enough sass from you today! You’re leaving, even if I have to
throw you out myself!

GUMSHOE:
You’ll have to catch me first!

[GUMSHOE begins to run off down the road to Studios 1 and 2. HE slows down and runs out of
breath quickly as HE tries in vain to escape. OLDBAG stands still.]

OLDBAG:
5... 4... 3... 2... 1.
[OLDBAG takes off like an Olympic sprinter. GUMSHOE looks back at the gaining OLDBAG,
shrieks, and shifts into overdrive. Well... tries. THEY vanish out of sight.]

MAYA:
Think he’ll get away?

PHOENIX:
Nope. Remember, that giant monkey head blocked off the only other route. Gumshoe’s heading
straight for a dead end.

[OLDBAG and GUMSHOE are heard doing battle in the background. Only the first few lines are
heard, the rest are under MAYA and PHOENIX’S next conversation.]

OLDBAG:
C’mon, face it like a man!

GUMSHOE:
Aw, I couldn’t hit a lady!

OLDBAG: [In the background]

CHOKESLAM!

GUMSHOE: [In the background]

Ahhhhh!!!

PHOENIX:
Poor guy...

MAYA:
Hey! Nick! The guard station is empty!!

PHOENIX:
Wha– ah, you’re right!

[PHOENIX and MAYA go behind the guard station. PHOENIX is a little too tall for it. HE scans
through the data on the computer, and finally finds a prompt to print out the security photos of
the day.]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Ah, the photos! This should provide us plenty of suspects!

[The picture prints out. PHOENIX eagerly anticipates the next 10. HE is let down.]

MAYA:
It’s not printing any more suspects...
[PHOENIX grabs the photo from the printer and inspects the front, then flips it over.]

PHOENIX:
Hey, wait a minute. This says “Photo Number Two”. Are you sure no other pictures printed out?

MAYA:
Nope, none.

PHOENIX:
This picture just hurts our case more...
[Sighs] Come on, see if you can help me find Will’s dressing room...

[MAYA grabs the map and looks at it from all angles, as puzzled as PHOENIX, as THEY walk
down in the direction of the lobby.

Scene shift to, THE EMPLOYEE AREA

A messy dining area, uncleared tables (complete with T-bones) in the foreground, HAMMER
and WILL’S conspicuously labeled dressing rooms off to one side. The opposite wall has a large
window and a small air vent near the floor.

MAYA and PHOENIX enter, MAYA sneaking like a ninja (or at least attempting to) and
PHOENIX holding WILL’S access card in front of him like a protective talisman to ward off any
possible security. THEY look briefly around, then relax when THEY realize the room is quite
empty.]

MAYA:
So this is the employee lounge?

PHOENIX:
Yeah, I guess so.

[PHOENIX glances around]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Kinda messy, though.

MAYA:
Like you’re one to talk…
[She notices the plates] Ooooh! They had steak.

PHOENIX:
Maya, you just ate.

MAYA:
Yeah, but I have a second stomach for steaks.
PHOENIX:
Ugh. Anyway. There’s Mr. Powers’ dressing room.

[MAYA moves to open the door. Before SHE reaches it, it swings inward on its own, revealing
SAL MANELLA, on his way out. The next two lines are delivered simultaneously.]

MANELLA:
ZOMG WTF!

MAYA:
Eeep!

[MAYA leaps back from the door]

MANELLA: [Recovering faster than MAYA]

ROFL! D00d! That cosplay totally rox0rz!

[MANELLA shoots MAYA a double thumbs-up and makes the drool-face, narrating his own
action]

MANELLA [CONT’D]:
Drool!

MAYA: [Obviously shaken]

Cosplay?

PHOENIX:
Don’t worry about it, Maya.

MANELLA:
LOL. So I herd you liek Steel SamuraiZ? Dood. Fans aren’t allowed back here. Read the FAQ.

MAYA:
We aren’t—
[She catches herself in blasphemy] Well, he isn’t a fan yet. We’re Will Powers’ lawyers!

MANELLA:
Srsly? Sorry about that, LOL. J00 doodz got a really rough deal. Massive damage! I was just
clearing out his stuff.

PHOENIX: [Clearly suspicious]

And just who are you, exactly?

MANELLA:
What? J00 n00bs don’t know the great Sal Manella?!
MAYA: [She suddenly goes pale]
Sal Manella?

PHOENIX:
Ultimate nemesis of steak-lovers everywhere?

MAYA: [Clutching PHOENIX’S arm]

No, Nick, he’s the DIRECTOR. He MAKES Steel Samurai! Sir, I’m so sorry about my partner!
He’s a little bit OUT OF TOUCH with the world.

PHOENIX: [Sullen]
It’s just a kid’s sho—

[MAYA elbows PHOENIX in the ribs]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
—owwww…

MANELLA:
I see whut you did thar! ROFL! NP, d00dz.

MAYA:
But Mr. Manella, how can you say that Mr. Powers is guilty?

MANELLA: [Begins to sweat, looking unhappy]

Orz. We all feel bad about it, but it couldn’t have been anyone else.
[Draws a tearline down the side of his face] Sux0rz.

MAYA: [To PHOENIX]

Suck sores?

[PHOENIX shrugs. MAYA recovers herself and continues speaking to MANELLA]

MAYA [CONT’D]:
B-but Mr. Powers said that he was napping in his room! Didn’t anyone see him there?

MANELLA: [Indicates the dressing room]

Yeah, FWIW, he went in there after lunch, but I had a meeting, so I didn’t see him leave. Total
pwnage.

MAYA:
Nick…this is bad…

PHOENIX:
Are you sure there wasn’t anyone else?
MANELLA:
Well… there might have been someone, but I’m not sure… From outside.

MAYA:
What?

MANELLA: [He opens his mouth to explain, then pauses]

…There it is again! That presence!

[MANELLA extends an arm Jedi-style and presses his other hand to his temple, spinning around.
PHOENIX rolls his eyes, MAYA looks mesmerized]

MANELLA [CONT’D]:
My l33t sixth sense tells me it’s coming from…right…

[MANELLA pivots and lifts the cloth from the table behind him, revealing CODY HACKINS
under the table]

MENALLE [CONT’D]:
HERE!

[MANELLA grabs for CODY, who dodges expertly and scrambles out from beneath the
opposite end of the table, brandishing a plastic samurai sword]

MANELLA [CONT’D]:
Dood! Fans aren’t allowed back here!

CODY: [Striking a dramatic pose with his sword]

Hahaha! You’ll never stop me, evildoer!

[CODY dashes for the vent like a baseball player sliding into home]

MANELLA:
OMG hax!

[MANELLA gives chase, leaving by the same door through which MAYA and PHOENIX
entered. In HIS haste, HE crashes into the table, sending the plastic dishes clattering to the floor.
We hear MANELLA’S voice fading into the distance as HE exits.]

MANELLA [CONT’D]:
Can’t let you do that, Nerd!

[MAYA and PHOENIX are left, both looking a bit shell shocked, albeit for different reasons.]

MAYA: [After a beat]

That was. So. COOL!

PHOENIX: [Righting the table]

Maya, we really need to talk about your idea of “cool…”

[As PHOENIX stoops to pick up the dishes, HE notices a small bottle amid the mess. HE takes it
and holds it up to the light.]

MAYA:
What’s that?

PHOENIX: [Squinting at the label]

…Sleeping pills.

MAYA:
Why would—

[MAYA is interrupted by the sound of the window opening. PHOENIX pockets the pills guiltily
as CODY enters through the window, doing HIS own theme music.]

MAYA [CONT’D]:
Hey! It’s that kid again!

CODY: [Immediately stopping the music and crouching angrily on the windowsill]
Don’t call me kid, evildoer!

MAYA: [rising to CODY’S bait]

But you are a kid!

CODY:
So are you!

MAYA: [EDEGWORTH finger-wag]

No way, kiddo!

CODY: [getting in MAYA’S face]

Wannabe hippie chick!

MAYA: [Returning the favor, glaring]

Punk!

CODY:
Loser!

MAYA:
Brat!
PHOENIX:
Hold it, hold it! Calm down! You two are both Steel Samurai fans, right?

CODY: [Wheeling on PHOENIX]

What do YOU know about the Steel Samurai?

PHOENIX:
I…um…er…he…

MAYA: [In an announcer-voice, imitating the show’s narrator]

The sole hope of Neo Olde Tokyo! A lone wolf fighting against impossible odds!

CODY:
Not bad, hippie chick!

[CODY jumps down from the window and continues in a similar announcer voice]

CODY [CONT’D]:
But the Steel Samurai always wins, no matter what, for in his breast beats the heart of a warrior!

MAYA:
Not bad yourself, kiddo!

CODY:
Watch it…

PHOENIX: [Completely lost]

Okay, what just happened here?

MAYA:
Nick…we should ask him about the day of the crime. Mr. Manella said he saw him here!

PHOENIX:
He did?

MAYA: [Imitates MANELLA’S Jedi pose]

Sixth sense, remember?

PHOENIX: [Rolling his eyes]

Like that counts for anything…

CODY:
Hey! You can’t just ignore someone like that! Now there’s no way I’m telling you losers what I
saw!
PHOENIX:
Wait, so you did see something?

CODY: [folding his arms and grinning]

Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t.

PHOENIX:
Look, I’m on the Steel Samurai’s side! If you don’t talk to me, he could go to jail! Do you know
what that means?

CODY: [glaring]
Don’t patronize me, evildoer!

PHOENIX:
Argh. Maya, you talk to him…

[PHOENIX turns to MAYA, who has, in the interim, grown breasts. PHOENIX jumps.]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Ack!

MIA:
Having trouble, Phoenix?

PHOENIX:
Mia, you really need to stop doing that…

MIA: [Folding her arms]

Live a little, Wright.

PHOENIX:
Please…no dead people jokes…

MIA: [She laughs and turns to CODY]

Let’s start over, shall we?
(Extends a hand) Hey there. Nice to meet you.

CODY:
You’re different from that other lady! How did you do that?

MIA: [winks]
That’s my secret. My name’s Mia. I’m an attorney.

CODY: [suddenly shy]

I-I’m Cody. Cody Hackins.
[CODY takes MIA’S hand and breaks into a grin as SHE shakes HIS]

PHOENIX: [proudly grasping his jacket’s lapels]

And I’m Phoenix Wright!

CODY: [aggressive again]

Who asked?!

MIA: [gentle, but firm]

Cody. He’s an attorney too. He needs your help to fight for justice. Isn’t that the Steel Samurai’s
motto? “For great justice?”

CODY: [reluctantly]
Yeah…but…

MIA:
So you’ll help us out?

CODY: [blushing]
Y-yeah! Sure!

MIA:
He’s all yours, Phoenix!

PHOENIX:
M-mine? Um…Okay…
[to CODY, awkwardly] So…you like Steel Samurai?

CODY:
Duh! Doesn’t everyone?

PHOENIX:
Well, the show IS aimed at grade schoolers…

CODY: [Fanboy rant. We all know it.]

That’s because most people judge it by its appearance! It’s actually a complex archetypal story,
full of conflicting characters with a wide range of depth and appeal. Not to mention the larger
than life, almost absurdist aesthetic of the setting. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts,
you know?

PHOENIX: [completely dumbfounded]

Um…

[MIA gestures encouragingly at PHOENIX]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Sure. Absolutely!

CODY:
So what’s your favorite part of the show?

PHOENIX:
Er…I guess…the moon…in episode…

[An idea suddenly strikes. PHOENIX bluffs like the lawyer HE is]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
…Well, I’m actually a fan of Will Powers! He was really great in yesterday’s show.

CODY:
Wow! That’s totally hardcore!

PHOENIX:
So…do you have a favorite part?

CODY:
Yep! I love the action!
[acting with his sword] Bam! Whizzam! The Steel Samurai takes the bad guy down! I even go to
all the live shows. Check it out!

[CODY produces a portfolio of photos from his backpack and opens it proudly]

CODY [CONT’D]:
I’ve got a photo of every finishing blow!

MIA: [crouching to examine the album]

“Steel Samurai: Path to Glory…
[leafs through] Wow. Did you take all these yourself?

CODY:
You bet! You can have this album, if you want!

MIA:
Are you sure?

CODY:
Yeah, I’ve got extras! I took all photos with my digital camera!

MIA:
Then I’m pleased to accept!

[MIA takes the album]

PHOENIX:
Where have I heard this before?

MIA:
Phoenix, you’re mumbling.

PHOENIX: [Clears his throat]

So Cody, you were here yesterday, right?

CODY:
Yeah. I came to see the studio. It’s really easy to sneak past that security lady.

PHOENIX:
I’ll bet. Did you see anything…unusual?

[CODY doesn’t answer.]

MIA:
Cody.

[CODY looks, and MIA lifts an encouraging fist]

MIA [CONT’D]:
“For great justice,” remember?

CODY:
I…I saw everything!

PHOENIX: [taken aback]

Wh-what did you see?

CODY: [Suddenly vehement]

I saw the Steel Samurai kill the bad guy! One shot, with the Samurai Spear, just like always.
[More hesitant] It…it happened so fast, I got scared…

PHOENIX:
Oh…That must have been hard for you.

CODY: [Masking the beginnings of tears with anger]

Man, you say this stuff, but it’s so obvious you don’t mean it!

MIA:
Thanks Cody. That’s all we needed to hear.
[She turns to PHOENIX] Phoenix. I don’t think Cody should testify tomorrow.
PHOENIX:
I’ll say!

GUMSHOE: [offscreen] Not so fast, pal!

[GUMSHOE does a fanfare for himself as HE tries to leap through the window, and stops as HE
gets caught on the sill and has the wind knocked out of HIM]

GUMSHOE [CONT’D]:
Ooof!

[GUMSHOE falls the rest of the way through and scrambles to HIS feet]

GUMSHOE [CONT’D]:
I heard everything! This boy’s a key witness, and as of now he’s under police protection! Come
on, son!

[GUMSHOE takes CODY’S arm]

CODY:
No way! I ain’t goin!

[CODY tugs at HIS sword with HIS other arm as HE struggles in vain against GUMSHOE’S
grip]

GUMSHOE:
No buts about it, pal! We’re heading down to the precinct!
[Over his shoulder as he marches CODY out the door] You’re going down tomorrow, Harry
Butz!

PHOENIX:
It’s Phoenix Wright!

[The door slams and the scene goes black.

COURT opens the following day with PHOENIX filing through his papers hopelessly, and
WILL sobbing incessantly on MAYA’S lap. EDGEWORTH is... I dunno, filing his nails or
something. The JUDGE walks up to his seat and bangs his gavel.]

JUDGE:
Order! Order!

[The courtroom silences]

JUDGE [CONT’D]:
We now convene for the case of The State vs. The Steel Samurai, who has been convicted of
using his samurai spear to fell the mighty and powerful Evil Magistrate, just as he did in episode
35 when he used his infamous “Zodiac Samurai Spear Corkscrew Dash”. I will now hear the
defense and prosecution’s opening statements. Steel Samurai, do you have anything to say for
yourself?

WILL:
I didn’t do it! Wahhhh!!!

[WILL continues to cry. MAYA pats his head to calm him down.]

MAYA:
Shhh... Shhhh...

JUDGE:
Your opening statements please.

PHOENIX: [clears his throat dramatically.]

My defendant isn’t the Steel Samurai in real life!

EDGEWORTH:
The Samurai Spear can be quite crippling—but not as crippling as my witness will be to your
case, Mr. Wright.

[EDGEWORTH grins toward PHOENIX, who goes pale.]

EDGEWORTH [CONT’D]:
I call to the stand a woman of wisdom that can only be obtained through countless years of
selfless civic duty, much like yourself, Your Honor.

[The JUDGE blushes and chuckles quietly. The BALIFF opens the door, leading in OLDBAG
who is chatting amiably with the man. SHE waves goodbye and gets in the witness stand.]

OLDBAG: [Almost grandmotherly]

Such a nice boy... now what I can do for you today?

EDGEWORTH:
We’d like you to tell us what happened on the day of Jack Hammer’s death. If you would be so
kind...

OLDBAG: [Overcome with young love]

Oh, I would be absolutely glad to! Anything for a man in uniform!

EDEGWORTH: [Clearly flustered]

Er... uh... name and occupation, witness.

OLDBAG: [Composing herself]

Well, let’s see... my name is Wendy Oldbag, dearie, but you can just call me “grandma”, it’s
practically my name! I mean, even when I was young I was an Oldbag, and my how all the
children would make fun of me, can you believe? But there was this one boy, the captain of the
chess club in junior high, and I had quite the crush on him. And he called me an Oldbag and I
just cried and cried because—

EDGEWORTH:
Objection! I... er... object to the witness’s... talkativeness!?

JUDGE:
Sustained! Please give your testimony, witness.

OLDBAG:
Well, excuse me, Gramps.

[The JUDGE’S eyes widen.]

OLDBAG [CONT’D]:
I arrived at the guard station at about 1:00. Powers and my dear Hammer had been doing a run-
through of the scene they were shooting that day. They got the basics down in the morning, and
had the afternoon to practice. I was watching the morning run-through. I always watch their
rehearsals in the morning, to cheer my dear Hammer on.

MAYA: [Her eyes widen as she puts the pieces together–watching a rehearsal of her favorite TV
show.]
That. Is. So. Cool!

PHOENIX: [Scratching his chin]

You were... watching the run-through. Shouldn’t you have been... oh, I don’t know... at your
station?

OLDBAG: [HER head snaps toward PHOENIX, as if SHE’S ready to pounce]

Whippersnapper! I locked the gate! No one got in or out without me knowing!
[HER demeanor changes to slightly more cocky] And besides, I was there from 1:00 to 5:00,
nothing happened in the morning, anyway.

EDGEWORTH: [With a snarky smirk toward the defense]

She’s correct, you know.

PHOENIX: [Muttering in slight defeat]

But that doesn’t make it right...

[PHOENIX suddenly perks up upon making the next realization]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Hey, wait, how did you know that the murder took place between those hours?
OLDBAG: [With a slight laugh]
Oh, that mangy detective told me. I just fed him a couple of donuts and he sang. 2:30 PM, just
like he said.

[EDGEWORTH’S head sinks down into his hand, frustrated with another instance of
GUMSHOE’S incompetence]

OLDBAG [CONT’D]:
If you ask me, that boy isn’t cut out for detective work.

[PHOENIX gives a piteous look at GUMSHOE up in the viewing booths, who seems oblivious
to the fact that HE’S being talked about]

OLDBAG [CONT’D]:
Now, all of this was VERY interesting to me, because guess who walked past me at 2:00 PM?

JUDGE: [With childlike excitement]

Who? Who!?

OLDBAG:
With all due respect, a man your age shouldn’t get so excited. Something might burst.

[Camera shifts to the JUDGE, who sees the inherent irony in this statement and raises an
eyebrow.]

OLDBAG [CONT’D]:
You might have already guessed, but it was that man right there! Powers!

[The camera shifts to WILL, his eyes widened at the accusation, nearly at the brink of tears]

WILL:
Ah!
[Waves his hands wildly] No, no, it wasn’t me! I promise! I didn’t kill anybody, I swear! I’m no
murderer. And besides, if I did it–

PHOENIX:
Hold it!
[Desk slam] That’s quite enough, Mr. Powers! Now, Ms. Oldbag. You’re saying that the man
you saw was the man in this photograph?

JUDGE:
Hrm? Let me see that...

[PHOENIX gives the copy of the photograph to the JUDGE who scans it with squinted eyes. The
camera shifts to Judge-O-Vision, as we see the photograph up-close, as though it were through
his eyes.]

JUDGE [CONT’D]:
This... is indeed a photograph!

[Camera angle changes to once again look at the JUDGE]

JUDGE [CONT’D]:
But who is that man? [Points at the picture]

PHOENIX:
That would be the Steel Samurai–

MAYA: [riding right on PHOENIX’S coat tails with incredible enthusiasm]

The one and only unbeatable, indisputable champion, defender and paragon of Neo Olde Tokyo!

EDGEWORTH: [arrogantly, with an eyebrow raise and a smirk]

Played by the one and only Mr. Will Powers. Thus, the reasonable conclusion would be that the
man in the costume is... wait...

[EDGEWORTH grows silent as he completes the puzzle in his mind.]

OLDBAG:
It’s Powers! Anyone can see that!

PHOENIX:
Objection!
[Finger point] Let’s make something clear, old ba–I mean Ms. Oldbag. Mr. Powers plays the
Steel Samurai on the show, true, but there’s no proof in this photograph that the man in the
costume is Powers!

JUDGE:
He’s right, Ms. Old...
[clears his throat] Witness. This photograph holds no evidence that the man inside is Powers.

OLDBAG:
Well, of course I know that! Didn’t your momma teach you any sense? Of course I have proof
that it’s Powers!

EDGEWORTH:
You... do!?

[With an aggravated grunt, EDGEWORTH pinches the bridge of his nose.]

MAYA: [aside to Phoenix]

Wow. She’s even getting under Edgeworth’s skin!
EDEGWORTH: [collecting himself. Straightening his cravat perhaps.]
Ms. Windbag. Please make all evidence in your possession known before the trial begins.

JUDGE:
Yes. But let’s not waste any more time. Tell us about this “proof.”

OLDBAG:
Well, you remember how I said that I was watching a rehearsal that day? Well during that
Powers tripped and fell! He even broke his Samurai Spear! Luckily I was around with duct tape
to clean up the mess. The spear, not him–he deserved it. Apparently he sprained his ankle pretty
badly, and just look at this security photograph! The Steel Samurai is dragging his leg! It doesn’t
take one of your newfangled computers to add that one up.

EDGEWORTH:
She’s correct, Wright. The picture does indeed show a limp. Did you really hurt yourself during
a rehearsal, Mr. Powers?

[All eyes dart to WILL who nervously nods HIS head.]

JUDGE:
I didn’t want to believe the Steel Samurai was the killer, but...

PHOENIX:
Objection! Let’s look at this from a different angle. Say it wasn’t Powers. Yet this picture still
holds a limp. The only people who could’ve passed themselves off as Powers were the ones who
knew that he had injured himself that morning. One such person would be none other than...
Wendy Oldbag!

OLDBAG:
Whhaaaaat!?!? Whippersnapper, I have half a mind to take you over my knee and give you the
hardest whupping of your life! Don’t think I won’t! I’ll teach you some manners! [instantly
changing HER tune as SHE faces EDGEWORTH] Oh, Edgey-boy! Won’t you teach that mean
lawyer a lesson?

EDGEWORTH: [Upon hearing his new nickname]

Ghrrk...

[A long pause. EDGEWORTH composes himself]

EDGEWORTH [CONT’D]:
The prosecution has no meaningful objections at this time.

OLDBAG:
Wha–How–Why!? I can’t believe this! Is this the future of today’s youth!? Victimizing the
innocent!? I can’t believe this at all, why, in my day if a lawyer made a false allegation against a
witness, the lawyer would automatically be the one guilty of the crime! We’d lock ‘em up and
that was that!

PHOENIX:
Maybe now that you’re under suspicion you’ll play a little more nicely, Ms. Oldbag.

OLDBAG:
How... dare you... you snipperwhapper!!!

PHOENIX:
The more you fight me, the guiltier you look.

EDGEWORTH:
Wright, get off your pedestal and stop wasting time. You’re not a superhero.

PHOENIX: [Slightly defeated, takes out Photo #2]

I’d like to direct everyone’s attention to the back of this security photo! Does it not strike
anyone’s interest that we’ve not yet seen a Photo Number One? Ms. Oldbag, please tell us where
the first photo is.

OLDBAG:
Oh, that old thing? I deleted that.

JUDGE:
Deleted it!? Ms. Bag, I demand to know what was in the first photograph.

OLDBAG:
Oh, just some kid. A fanboy–we always have them running around. They’re too slippery to
catch, and there’s this grate in the dressing rooms where they can get in. I always delete those
pictures, and besides, you think a kid could’ve killed my dear Hammer!? Now as long as we’re
on the subject, there were plenty of other people there besides myself. They told me to keep my
lips sealed, but I can’t very well keep quiet on the subject for much longer. The director and the
producer were both there that day! They’re just as likely as me!

PHOENIX:
But what about–

OLDBAG:
The director has to be at the rehearsals. He’d certainly know that Powers hurt himself.

PHOENIX:
Hm. But how about–

OLDBAG:
And they were both at Studio 2 that day, so they wouldn’t have been caught by the camera.
PHOENIX:
Oh. But I think you’re forgetting the–

OLDBAG:
And yes, I know that the Monkey Head blocked the path, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that
they were there that day.

PHOENIX:
...Oh. No objections.

OLDBAG:
Did I do good, Edgey-boy

[OLDBAG gives a girlish wink at EDGEWORTH. HE turns HIS head. What a jerk.]

JUDGE:
Well... it seems there’s some more investigation to be done. I rule that we delay the verdict for
one more day so that both parties may gather more information.

[PHOENIX pats WILL on the back.]

PHOENIX:
Congratulations, Will–you got another day. I'll get us some ice cream. Will that make you feel
better?

WILL:
Yeah! Ice Cream!

JUDGE:
Join us tomorrow for the next episode of the Jade Judge! The Jade Judge must once again use the
power of his Gallant Gavel to render perhaps the hardest verdict of his life! Guilty? Not Guilty?
Only time will tell!

EDGEWORTH:
Objection!

[Desk slam. EDGEWORTH runs HIS hand through HIS hair]

EDGEWORTH [CONT’D]:
Although I’d love to stay tuned for tomorrow’s episode, I firmly believe that we’ve not heard all
we need to hear today.

OLDBAG:
Oh, you mean it, Edgey-boy? Oh, thank you so much, dearie!

EDGEWORTH:
No, no. I’ve heard about all I need to hear out of you.

[EDGEWORTH claps his hands “Clapper Style” and the BAILIFF drags OLDBAG from the
stand as SHE shouts.]

OLDBAG [Being dragged away]

Wait! No, he didn’t mean it!

EDGEWORTH:
No, what I mean to say is that we have another witness today. The very same fanboy that Ms.
Windbag chose to keep hidden in the first place. We will render this verdict today, Your Honor,
and I believe that this child has the means to prove it.

Will:
...No ice cream?

Phoenix:
No Will. No ice cream.

Week 4

JUDGE: [Bangs gavel]

The prosecution may now call its next witness.

EDGEWORTH:
Thank you, your honor. The prosecution would like to warn the court in advance. The next
witness is of a tender age, and thus should be questioned with care. I will not accept badgering of
any kind. [Glares accusingly at PHOENIX]

JUDGE:
Quite right! [Glares at PHOENIX]

PHOENIX:
(Why is everyone looking at me…?)

EDGEWORTH:
I call Cody Hackins to the stand.

[CODY takes the stand]

EDGEWORTH [CONT’D]: [Clearly uncomfortable with talking to a child.]

Will the witness please state his name and ocu…grade in school?

[Pause. CODY is making a concerted effort to ignore poor EDGEWORTH.]

EDGEWORTH:
Witness, state your name and grade in school!

CODY:
DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO JUST ‘CASE YOU’RE A GROWN-UP!

EDGEWORTH: [Taken aback.]

Why… Why you little scoundrel, I’ll—
[Stopping himself with a sigh. Calm and reassuring] Cody… I know this must be difficult, but if
you would…?

MIA: [Sweetly]
Cody. Please answer the nice man.

CODY: [Perking up with a huge smile.]

Huh? Hey, it’s the nice lady! Sure! Cody Hackins. Second Grade.

EDGEWORTH:
Right. Witness!
[Stops himself] …Cody. You were present at the scene… Global Studios when you were
caught… um…found at the scene of the mu… incident…ahem…

CODY: [upset at the “ahem”]

YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH ME, POPS!? HUH!? HUH!?

EDGEWORTH: [Annoyed, but trying to keep up the gentile act through clenched teeth]
Please, Cody… tell us what you saw that day!

CODY:
Nuh-uh. You and gramps with the beard over there aren’t my parents. So there!

[CODY sticks his tongue out, and pulls down an eye lid]

JUDGE: [simultaneously, more prominently heard]

I prefer “bearded gentleman”.

EDGEWORTH: [simultaneously]
Mr. Edgeworth, to you.

JUDGE:
And by the way…photographic equipment is NOT allowed in this court.

EDGEWORTH:
Urk!… Apologies, your honor. He wouldn’t testify without it… could I ask the court for special
permission?

PHOENIX:
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait…wait…You went on bargaining terms with a child…and lost?

[EDGEWORTH cringes, glaring lividly at PHOENIX]

CODY:
Hey, I just got this camera! It’s new, so I bring it around with me everywhere I go.

JUDGE:
Very well. I’ll allow it. Please testify about what you saw that day.

CODY:
I wanted to see a Steel Samurai rehearsal, even if it’s just once. So I downloaded a map off the
net, and I went to the Studios…well, I was, but I got lost along the way. Shows the quality you
get on the internet, huh? When I finally got there… He was there.

PHOENIX:
Who?

[Cue “The Samurai Always Wins”]

CODY (CONT’D):
When the moon is bright with a pale, blue light
And trouble is nearby.
Only one man fights for what is right:
The Steel Samurai!
And all heroes know when it's time to go
And face their destined fate!
For who should show, but his deadly foe,
The Evil Magistrate!
I saw it with my own two eyes, and it was really great!

PHOENIX:
I'm to understand that you're a big Samurai fan.
You watch the show every week.
Now you have a hand in being a hero to this man,
the truth is the only thing I seek.

CODY:
With a samurai punch and a samurai slash, that battle had caused a deafening crash!
He dodged a strike with a samurai dash, the villain paid for his sins!
With a samurai slap and a samurai chop, that samurai pain just never stopped!
He came on top while the Magistrate dropped, 'cause the samurai always wins!

EDGEWORTH:
Wright! The truth is, this fragile youth is sure of that ruthless attack!
So, stop pressing him, hoping that he'll crack!
PHOENIX:
I'm trying to keep The Steel Samurai out of jail...
Please, if you could, try to go into more detail.

CODY:
What I saw that day was a grim display-
An evil man's demise. (PHOENIX: Uh-oh)
And I stood nearby when the Samurai
Shot lasers from his eyes! (PHOENIX: Wait, what?)
And he flew up high, reaching to the sky
A bright metallic sheen!
The hero chose to strike a pose
And then he flew the scene!
It was just like in episode two-hundred seventeen!

[Spoken, over music]

PHOENIX:
OBJECTION! Cody, what sort of murderer uses a "samurai slap!?" Or for that matter, shoots
lasers from his eyes?

EDGEWORTH:
OBJECTION! Clearly, the witness merely has an active imagination--

PHOENIX:
OBJECTION! You know as well as I do that the witness is being vague! He still hasn't testified
to seeing the finishing stab. And I think I know why...

[sung]
Cody, you have shown you've got a camera of your own.
You never miss any shots.
If you could show a picture of the killing blow,
it could help us connect the dots...

'Cause you keep all pictures in an album titled "Path to Glory."

With the killing blow from every show to tell a hero's story!
And I'll tell you this, something is amiss, for there's no reason or rhyme...
And for what it's worth, no way on Earth did Cody see this crime!
Witness, TESTIFY! This is the last time!

JUDGE:
Mr. Wright, what is the meaning of this?

[simultaneously:]
CODY:
With a samurai kick and a samurai punch
And a samurai triple-suplex-crunch,
The Samurai flipped and spun a bunch;
He'd win no matter the cost!
With a samurai chop and a samurai slap,
The Magistrate felt a sickening snap,
And he was about to take a dirt nap
'Cause the Samurai's never lost!

PHOENIX:
Please
No more lies
I have tried
To use a light touch.
I'm
Trying to pre-
serve the show that you
Love so much.

[simultaneously:]

CODY:
With a samurai dodge and a samurai block
And a samurai ultra-tough headlock
And the poor Magistrate could only gawk
For he had no help from friends.
With his samurai spear gleaming in the sun,
His samurai battle almost done,
He had his fun and had finally won,
'Cause the Samurai ALWAYS wins!

PHOENIX:
Please
Tell the truth.
This is just
A fictitious tale.
I'm
Trying to keep
The Steel Samurai
Out of jail.

EDGEWORTH:
Wright, you dunce.
Stop this at once.
You're badgering a
Child
I won't allow it!
Cease these accu-
sations please,
This questioning
Is wild!

JUDGE:
Order, order!

[The song ends]

PHOENIX:
Cody, you must’ve taken a picture of your hero! There’s no way you’d miss such a shot!

CODY: [Getting nervous and more stand-offish.]

Um… I erased it. Yeah.

PHOENIX:
But you’ve said that you always catch the finishing blow!

CODY:
Well uh…I didn’t get it this time. Nope. Didn’t get it.

PHOENIX:
But this scrapbook with all your pictures shows exactly that! I doubt you’d miss the killing blow!

CODY:
No! I really did!

EDGEWORTH:
OBJECTION! Wright, I doubt you have evidence to support your claim. And even if it were
true, then why would a fan of the Steel Samurai erase such a photo?

PHOENIX:
…Um…because…the…Samurai didn’t win?

CODY:
WHAT!?!? The samurai always wins! Weren’t you paying attention to me at all?

EDGEWORTH:
Wright, in case you’ve had a stroke, let me remind you of something: The Steel Samurai, aka,
the defendant, was the murderer, not the victim! Stop badgering the witness, or I’ll find you in
contempt of court!

PHOENIX:
It’s the only way it makes sense. Why would he erase the photos at all, if he had them? Simple:
the Samurai lost. Isn’t that right, Cody?

CODY:
NO...! THE SAMURAI NEVER LOSES TO ANYONE! EVER!

EDGEWORTH:
Wright, cease and desist your badgering of this child!

PHOENIX: [Desk slam, ignoring EDGEWORTH]

Your honor… the answer is within the witness’s testimony. First, he lied about taking the
picture, and then he lied about erasing the picture. There is only one conceivable reason, and that
is because Cody cannot fathom The Steel Samurai losing. However, the inconceivable happened,
and the Steel Samurai fell by the hand of a villain! To admit that would shatter everything he
knows true. He lied because he can’t handle the truth!

EDGEWORTH: [Gentile, with reluctance]

Cody… is this correct?

CODY: I…uh…the…Steel…Samurai…
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! [Bawling and weeping like the
child he is.]

PHOENIX:
You saw it all, didn’t you? The Steel Samurai lost the fight!

CODY:
Y…[long pause.] Yeah. H-he fell down. And then… [sniffle] he stopped moving…
WAAAAAHHH!!!

JUDGE: [Bangs gavel]

Order, Order, Order!

EDGEWORTH:
Wright, what sort of monster does this to a child? This little stunt of your is completely
inappropriate!

PHOENIX:
What’s inappropriate is your inability to see what’s right in front of you! It’s obvious, if you look
at things this way!

EDGEWORTH:
Oh? I suppose this is one of your “brilliant” ideas.

PHOENIX:
Yeah, it is...! I think. Anyway, Jack Hammer is the victim!
[A long silence]

EDGEWORTH:
Wright, I speak for the entire courtroom when I say “Duh”. Any more revelations? Oh my, I’m
wearing a cravat. The Judge is old. You’re a lawyer, now that’s a surprise!

JUDGE: [whimpers]
I'm ... old?

PHOENIX:
No, what I mean is, The Steel Samurai was the victim, and inside the suit was Jack Hammer!

EDGEWORTH: [Taken aback]

So… the man in the photograph… was Hammer!?!?

PHOENOX:
Yes. He was there during the rehearsal, and knew about the injury Powers had sustained.
Furthermore, he had access to the costume, during the time Powers took his nap. Then he moved
to studio one, where he was murdered!

JUDGE: [After a silence, is shown with a smart moment]

But why in the world would the victim do that?

PHOENIX:
Um…I…guh?

CODY: [softly]
I see what you did there… so it was a different guy inside the suit!
[In his normal loud tone.] Pops!

PHOENIX:
Huh? Me?

CODY:
Um…I saved a picture.

PHOENIX:
What? Show us, quickly!

CODY: [Suddenly overcome]

Urk!

EDGEWORTH: [Glaring at PHOENIX]

Cody, please show us the picture.
CODY:
A-alright…here it is…

[Picture given to the JUDGE, and we see it from the JUDGE’S perspective]

JUDGE:
Well… I don’t know, anyone could be in the suit…

[The picture gets handed to the BALIFF, who hands a convenient copy to PHOENIX, MAYA
getting up from comforting WILL to see the picture as well.]

PHOENIX: [Looking over the picture]

Yeah, I agree, there’s nothing decisive here.

MAYA:
Nick! Wait!

PHOENIX:
What?

MAYA:
I think I’ve found something! Look here!

[We now see the picture from PHOENIX’S perspective. MAYA’S finger points at the vague 2 in
the picture]

PHOENIX:
Your honor! There’s a glaring contradiction here!

JUDGE:
There is?

PHOENIX:
The number! It says “2”!

EDGEWORTH: [Jumps back in surprise]

No… this can’t be… why wasn’t I told?

JUDGE:
What? What’s going on?

PHOENIX:
The victim was found at studio one, right your honor?

[The JUDGE nods]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Well, that means that the scene of the crime has completely changed, to studio two!

JUDGE:
And this means…?

EDGEWORTH:
No…!

PHOENIX: [Smiling smugly]

Looks like the prosecution’s already caught on. Remember earlier? The people in studio two
were exempt from suspicion because they couldn’t reach the crime scene. But, in fact, it’s the
exact opposite!

EDGEWORTH:
This is absolute lunacy! Hammer was the victim, Wright. If that is true, why steal the costume?
Let me guess, it’s a conspiracy to cover his own death? Ha!

PHOENIX:
Well, um…

EDGEWORTH:
Oh, oh, excuse me. This is the part where you present evidence. This ought to be good.

PHOENIX: [Desk bang]

Of course I have proof!

EDGEWORTH:
What!?

MAYA:
Really?

PHOENIX:
Um…I think I do…

JUDGE:
Mr. Wright, if you could hurry this up, we don’t have unlimited time.

[PHOENIX searches through whatever this guy keeps evidence in (a briefcase?), and starts
sorting through the things, possibly throwing out a lot of papers. HE eventually stumbles upon
something]

PHOENIX:
Here!
[He holds up the empty bottle] TAKE THAT!
EDGEWORTH:
A medicine bottle?

PHOENIX:
An empty one that used to have sleeping pills! This means that Mr. Powers was drugged, and
that’s why he was sleeping!

EDGEWORTH:
My, Wright, that’s impressive.

PHOENIX: [Aghast]
Really?

EDGEWORTH:
No.
[Laugh similar to VON KARMA] Wright, your mouth is much faster than what little mind you
have. Would you happen to have evidence supporting your claims?

PHOENIX:
Oh…well, um…test the bottle for fingerprints? If my claim is true, then the bottle will have
Hammer’s fingerprints on the bottle!

JUDGE:
Any objections, Mr. Edgeworth?

EDGEWORTH: [Upset, but hiding it behind a calm façade that wouldn’t fool a child.]
…No.

JUDGE:
Then court proceedings will be suspended for the day. Mr. Wright, please find out why Mr.
Hammer would steal a Steal Samurai costume. Also, figure out who killed the victim, and why.
As for you, Mr. Edgeworth, I’d suggest you rethink your position on this case.

EDGEWORTH:
…Anything you say, your honor.

JUDGE:
Very well…court is adjourned!

[Scene change, cut to THE DETENTION CENTER]

WILL: [Morose monotone]

Mr. Wright! Great job again in court today.

PHOENIX:
Oh… thanks.
[To MAYA] Why does he still look like he’s about to burst into tears?

MAYA: [To WILL]

Don’t worry, WP! This’ll be your last day in here! Let’s make it count!

WILL:
Okay… I just don’t think there’s anything I can do to help you.

MAYA:
I’m sure that’s not true! I mean, who’d think I could help Nick with his fancy lawyering? But
I’m irreplaceable! Who else would make sure Charley’s okay?

WILL: [getting nervous]

Who’s Charley?
[To PHOENIX] Couldn’t you defend him?
[To MAYA] How did you save him?!

PHOENIX:
Never mind. Maya, we have much more important things to talk about. Mr. Powers, we need to
know about anything going on at Global Studios, anything that they might want to keep secret. It
could be absolutely critical to this case.

WILL:
Now that you mention it… I do remember hearing about something funny when Ms. Vasquez
first came to the studio about five years ago…

PHOENIX: [excited, cutting him off]

Yes? What happened?

WILL: [shrugs]
Something funny. That’s all I know about it. Nobody ever told me what happened.

PHOENIX:
And I think I know just who to ask. Come on Maya, I think we may be finally getting to the
bottom of this!

[Cut to GLOBAL STUDIOS, STAGE 2. PHOENIX and MAYA approach GUMSHOE from
behind, who is hunched over the bent fence poking the bent pike repeatedly]

GUMSHOE:
Ow…
[Pokes it again] Ow…
[Pokes it again, PHOENIX and MAYA standing over him] Ow…

PHOENIX:
Working hard, Detective?

GUMSHOE:
GAH!

[GUMSHOE almost falls on one of the spikes, catching HIS breath. HE quickly stands up.]

GUMSHOE [CONT’D]:
You almost killed me there, pal! I should arrest you right here!

PHOENIX:
Gumshoe, please calm down. I didn’t mean to.

[GUMSHOE ponders as hard as a GUMSHOE can.]

GUMSHOE:
Fine… I’ll let you off this time, Butz, but it’s just cause I don’t like touchin' you.

PHOENIX:
Right…
[Turns and mutters to MAYA] Why do I get the feeling that he’s getting my name wrong on
purpose now, just to discourage me?

GUMSHOE:
Oh! Before I forget, here’s that bottle!

[GUMSHOE hands sleeping pill bottle to PHOENIX]

GUMSHOE [CONT’D]:
We got the tests back today, and it’s definitely Hammer’s fingerprints. And I’ve been doing
some tests, and it looks like the defendant’s plate was drugged.

MAYA:
You’re being very… free and easy with your information today, Detective.

GUMSHOE:
Well… don’t go around tellin' this to everyone, but I was really impressed with the trial today. I
mean, most woulda' gave up with the Oldbag’s testimony. If it were anyone else, he’d be
finished.

[GUMSHOE looks left, leaning, and does the same when looking right.]

GUMSHOE [CONT’D]:
And well…I don’t buy the case against Powers, personally. I kinda feel bad for Mr. Edgeworth,
though.
PHOENIX:
How is Edgeworth doing, anyway?

GUMSHOE:
He’s outta control, pal! He was in the waiting room… and he had this paper cup of coffee. And
he took it… and he crushed it! It was intense, let me tell you!

MAYA:
Wow… the wrath of Edgeworth…

PHOENIX:
So it sounds like the investigation isn't going so smoothly. How's it coming?

GUMSHOE:
Honestly? About as good as my wages. Half of us want to keep going, and the rest of us want to
switch suspects. We're looking for anybody else who seems suspicious.

[GUMSHOE continues poking spikes around the trailer and disappears around the other side.
PHOENIX eyes MANELLA who walks toward the trailer door, getting ready to knock]

PHOENIX:
Speaking of suspicious....

[MANELLA walks up to the trailer to DEE VASQUEZ’S door eagerly and knocks on the door.
VASQUEZ opens it, looks at MANELLA, takes a big drag of her cigarette, and blows the smoke
in MANELLA’S face. MANELLA begins to cough heavily, and maybe “-10 HP” appears over
his head, or he just says it himself. Then, after the smoke has cleared...]

VASQUEZ:
Well?

MANELLA:
lolwut?

VASQUEZ:
Do you have it?

MANELLA:
Have what?

VASQUEZ:
The script.

MANELLA:
The script for what? I just wanted to see if you had any more steak!
[Cue “Script”]

VAZQUEZ:
Episode 40 of the Steel Samurai
Needs to be directed, cast and produced very soon
But before that can happen there is a vital piece amiss
I still need to read over the script.

[PHOENIX and MAYA walk into the Studio, but see that there is a minor confrontation going
on, THEY go and crouch by some bushes around the area]

PHOENIX:
Who’s that?

MAYA:
I dunno, but she looks suspicious, so she has to be important.

PHOENIX:
That's not always how it works...

MANELLA:
Omg, the script! D00d, I’ll have it for joo.. Um...

VASQUEZ: [A small sigh, then sings]

You no good fat fool
What could you be up to-
At such a turbulent time for us all?
There was a murder but that is no excuse
To be late with the script…!
[speaking]Maybe if I bruise you?

MANELLA:
ZOMG! Plz don’t, I’m very tender!

VASQUEZ:
I refuse to entertain
I'm a producer not a clown.
Find the writer, work him hard- don't you dare let me down!
Now I refuse to say anymore, time is money after all
[spoken] So pay up, because the price is the script!
So. When will you get it to me?

MANELLA:
...sweat drop.

[The music ends. PHEONIX runs up behind MANELLA trying to get VASQUEZ’S attention]
PHOENIX:
Ma’am! Excuse me, can I have a bit of your time?

MANELLA:
D00d, how did joo get in here!? Want me to ban him from the server, Ms. Vasquez?

VASQUEZ:
No, wait. This man. You are the writer?

PHOENIX:
Writer? What, no–

VASQUEZ:
The script, please.

PHOENIX:
What scri–

VASQUEZ:
Now.

PHOENIX:
Oh, I don’t have any script, I just wanted to ask you some ques–

[VASQUEZ slams the door to her office.]

PHOENIX (CONT’D):
Wait!

MANELLA: [Nearly fuming with anger, directing the next line at an absent VASQUEZ]
Hey, Ms. Vasquez! What does the scouter say about Sal’s frustration level? IT’S OVER 9000!!!

MAYA:
Mr. Manella, calm down! How can you direct the best show ever if you’re so upset?

PHOENIX:
Is she... coming back out?

MANELLA:
Forget it, noobs. I don’t even have enough experience points to get into her office. I even have a
1337 lock-picking feat. I don’t even know why her office is here, anyway. It’s so epic fail. This
old film studio always gives me the heebie-jeebies, and I even forgot my ghost-warding
breastplate. We don’t even use this place anymore! Anyway, lamerz, my hunger level is high.
I’m gonna go see if there’s any steak. Or if I’m lucky, some rare candy. Don’t follow me.
[MANELLA waddles away from Studio 2 toward the dressing rooms, probably muttering
something about epic mounts. MAYA and PHOENIX stand still for a moment, neither saying a
word. Finally... A full pan shot of the scene, with a clear shot of the steak plates]

MAYA:
Empty plates? STEAK?! I missed beef AGAIN???

PHOENIX:
No time for meat now, Maya. Let's go.

[They trail MANELLA to the dressing rooms]

MANELLA: [muttered to himself]

Do this, do that…when do I get a break?

[PHOENIX and MAYA exchange a glance, and PHOENIX clears his throat to get MANELLA’S
attention. When this fails, he reluctantly taps MANELLA’S shoulder.]

PHOENIX:
Excuse me, Mr. Manella?

MANELLA: [Jumping]
WTF, d00d?!

PHOENIX:
Was that the producer?

MANELLA:
Yeah, that was Diva—I mean, Dee Vasquez. Totally made of win. XD!

PHOENIX:
You didn’t seem to think so when she was chewing your ear off in there…

MANELLA:
LOL, that’s just part of the package. She’s totally high maintenance, but Global Studios would
be pwned without her.

MAYA:
Is that why she was mysteriously absent during the murder investigation?

MANELLA:
Sweats! I-I don’t know anything about that, d00d!

PHOENIX:
Okay, okay, we get it! Why don’t we just find your script?
[PHOENIX exchanges a glance with MAYA]

MANELLA:
ROFL. Thanks, really. XP I just want this whole thing to be over.

MAYA:
So… do you remember when you last had it?

MANELLA:
It would have been the day of rehearsal.

PHOENIX:
Could you tell us what you did that day?

[The three of THEM start walking, retracing MANELLA’S steps]

MANELLA:
Well, in the morning there was that action run through…

MAYA: [clearly jealous]

How did that go?

MANELLA:
Alright. Except for WP twisting his ankle like a n00b. He almost made me late for my meeting!
ROFLfail!

MAYA:
What was the meeting about?

MANELLA:
Some studio bigwigs came in to talk about the budget and programming. Totally lame! But I’ve
got to do it…Dee doesn’t like to. And then they all piled back in their limo and drove off. I
thought I’d get to eat then, but Dee wanted to talk about the past… as usual. So we were there for
a few hours. Sux0rs…

PHOENIX:
And that was in Studio Two?

MANELLA:
Yeah, me and Diva were stuck there after Mr. Monkey’s head got blown over.

[MANELLA opens the door to Studio One]

MANELLA [CONT’D]:
Good thing I brought steak…even though I never got to finish it.
MAYA: [murmured to PHOENIX]
“Never got to finish it…?”

[They cross into Studio One. It is unchanged from earlier scenes, stepladder and all. CODY sits
in the director’s chair, reading the script]

PHOENIX: [Notepad in hand, having given up all pretense of helping MANELLA retrace his
steps]
So you and Ms. Vasquez were in fact stuck at Studio Two at the time of the murder?

MANELLA:
Hey! I see whut you did thar! We’re looking for my script, not investigating a crime!

PHOENIX:
Uh…
[He glances around and notices CODY] Look! A distraction!

MANELLA: [Following PHOENIX’S index finger]

Okay, that’s it.
[He advances on CODY] How many times do I have to tell you, n00b? No fans are allowed in
the studios!

[CODY, noticing the others for the first time, jumps out of the chair, leaving the script]

CODY: [Running for the door]

Try as hard as you want, evildoer! You’ll never defeat me!

MANELLA:
Ugh. Could j00 guys take that script to Diva? I’ve got a troll infestation to take care of…

PHOENIX:
Um…sure.

MANELLA:
Kthxbai!

[MANELLA jogs off after CODY]

MAYA: [Deadpan]
And he isn’t suspicious at all…

PHOENIX:
You’re learning, Maya.

[As they move to exit, MAYA notices the stepladder by the door]
MAYA:
Hey, a ladder!

PHOENIX:
That’s a “step-”ladder, actually…

MAYA:
What’s the difference? You’ve got to stop judging things based on narrow-minded cultural
assumptions, Nick!

PHOENIX:
I take it back…

Week 5

[Scene change, PHEONIX and MAYA return from the dressing rooms and walk into the studio
entrance area.]

MAYA:
C’mon, Nick! Let me see it! Please!

PHOENIX:
And ruin the surprise? No, you just have to wait until it’s on TV.

MAYA:
But you have the script RIGHT THERE! Let me see it!

PHOENIX:
For the last time, no!

[MAYA grabs for the script and the two begin to pull it back and forth, each telling the other to
let go, until...]

OLDBAG: [Out of breath]

You whippersnappers... quiet down!

MAYA:
Ai! Nick, she’s back!

PHOENIX:
No sudden movements...

OLDBAG:
What are you... whippersnappers... up to...? Why... I have... half a mind to...
[OLDBAG begins to cough violently]

PHOENIX:
Ms. Oldbag, are you alright?

OLDBAG:
Sure, sonny... never been better...

PHOENIX:
You sound exhausted.

OLDBAG:
Been chasing that fanboy... He’s too fast. Kids are faster nowadays...

MAYA:
Well, you're a little on the older side.

[PHOENIX senses the storm coming, HIS eyes widen and HIS head snaps to MAYA.
OLDBAG, furious, glares at MAYA with fire in HER eyes... but then it douses. SHE takes a
slight sigh and looks slightly downward.]

OLDBAG:
You may be right... I may not be as young as I was... and everything around here has been
changing with me. It’s all different around here. Everything moves... too fast.

PHOENIX:
Ms. Oldbag?

OLDBAG:
I remember when Dear Ol’ Hammer was the star here. Even his star fell...

PHOENIX:
Hammer... oh! Ms. Oldbag! Do you remember the sleeping pills from yesterday's proceedings?
The prints checked out.

OLDBAG:
Powers? That scofflaw, I knew he wouldn’t be telling the truth, not in a million–

PHOENIX:
Hammer.

OLDBAG:
What?

PHOENIX:
They were Hammer’s prints. He put Powers to sleep.
OLDBAG:
No, that can’t be right! Hammer would never... not the Hammer I knew!

PHOENIX:
You said it yourself... things have been changing.

[OLDBAG is suddenly stricken with a realization. SHE turns away slightly. PHOENIX’S words
have cut her deeply]

OLDBAG:
I suppose you’re right. But it was Hammer's own fault. Things could never be the same after
what happened...

[MAYA and PHOENIX look at each other quizzically]

OLDBAG [CONT’D]:
Well, you may as well know now, looks like the real Jack Hammer’s not a secret to you
anymore. But please don’t judge Poor Ol’ Hammer, dearies, it wasn’t...

OLDBAG:
They say the world moves by so fast
And once I was the fastest
But lately my joints, they creak and ache
And meanwhile the past is

Fading ever further

Out of sight and out of mind
I just can’t seem to catch my breath
I’m getting left behind

Dear ol’ Hammer, my fading star

I never held a single doubt
To me he shined as bright as ever
But now his star’s gone out

And that wretched, wicked woman

Over a five year old accident
Yes, she rescued the studio
But she brought on Hammer’s decent

She stole away his stardom

She stole away his soul
She stole away his freedom
No, everything, she stole
This accursed, precious picture
Is all that I have left to show
The very thing that gave that witch her power
It’s time to let it go…

And the sun will rise

And the moon will set
The world goes on in a blur!
While this old bag, slowly forgotten
Though she fights with all she’s got, she knows…
Things will never…no never again…
Things will never be the way they were…!

PHOENIX:
So, Hammer was under Ms. Vasquez’s control?

OLDBAG:
After that, things were never the same. Things will never be the same, I suppose.

MAYA:
Ms. Oldbag, cheer up! The past is in the past, and the present is in the present. You can’t change
the past, but you can change the future!

OLDBAG:
But things were so much easier.

[OLDBAG looks defeated, but then something stirs HER. Gentle, but with a certain matriarchal
air]

OLDBAG [CONT’D]:
...You listen here, you whippersnappers. Hammer died because he didn’t know how to fight, but
you do. I’ve seen you in that courtroom fighting for Powers, even when you don’t know
everything. I can’t tell you everything I know about what goes on around here... but you have to
keep on fighting. For Powers and for... Hammer. Promise me you won’t stop fighting!

PHOENIX:
Ms. Oldbag... I promise. Thank you.

OLDBAG: [Probably her first legitimate smile in the last 40 years]

Now give that witch-banshee what she deserves!

PHOENIX:
Come on, Maya. A promise is a promise.
[With added confidence, MAYA and PHOENIX walk up to Studio 2. That was pretty
heartwarming, huh?

Cut to STUDIO 2.
Phoenix and Maya walk up the steps to the trailer and knock on the door. The door opens
slightly, VASQUEZ’S voice calls out.]

VASQUEZ: [Off screen]

Do you have it?

PHOENIX:
Oh, yeah. I've got it.

VASQUEZ:
Come in...

[The door closes. It then opens slowly with an eerie creak. PHOENIX and MAYA walk inside,
the door closing again of its own volition behind THEM. The room is completely dark, except
for the faint outline of VASQUEZ at HER desk, and various areas of the room dimly lit by
candlelight. Perhaps posters of all of HAMMER’S previous roles are illuminated. VASQUEZ’S
face itself is lit via the light of HER cigarette. It's all pretty creepy. PHOENIX is now slightly
cocky. Little does he know...]

PHOENIX: [Setting the script in front of VASQUEZ]

Here’s your script, Ms. Vasquez.

[VASQUEZ hums disinterestedly, then reaches for it. PHOENIX takes this opportunity to
present the five-year-old photograph]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
And here’s something else you might be interested in.

[VASQUEZ looks at the picture, paying PHOENIX no mind. Cue “The Secret of Global
Studios”]

VASQUEZ:
I see. What was it you were saying, now?

PHOENIX:
[Sung]
Five years ago, this accident occurred,
But no one on the outside ever heard a word.
You hung it over Hammer’s head
You made him do whatever you said
That’s why he was doing kids’ shows instead
VASQUEZ: [still not looking at them]
So now I’m a blackmailer – is that it?

MAYA:
You know it’s the truth; you might as well admit it.
A simple accident, nothing more,
But you pulled him down and you made him poor!

[VASQUEZ stands slowly and ominously, turning to face THEM directly for the first time.]

VASQUEZ:
You foolish girl, I did nothing of the kind.
It was not I who put Hammer in that bind.
It was his own fault –

MAYA:
But you were the cause!
Just an accident… that’s all it was…

VASQUEZ: [spoken]
[chord] Excuse me! [chords] What is this? [chords] You keep saying “accident,” “accident”…
[chords] But how do you know for certain?

PHOENIX:
But… what else…?

VASQUEZ:
Must I spell it out?! Think… if it wasn’t an accident, then it would be…

PHOENIX:
…No way… You mean, it was on purpose?!

MAYA:
But… you have no proof!

Vasquez: [sung]
Just think for a moment; if it weren’t his fault
Would he have let me bring his career to a halt?

MAYA:
But it wasn’t his fault!
That’s what Ms. Oldbag said…

VASQUEZ:
As if she would ever speak ill of the dead!
She was Hammer’s biggest fan; it was a sight to behold
When she wrestled the reporter for the photograph you hold
Of course, the negatives were all he’d need
He still could have told the world of Hammer’s misdeed.
Yet five years ago, when murder occurred
No one on the outside ever heard a word
The secret of Global Studios is safe, thanks to me.
You have the only copy – now, give it to me!

MAYA:
What are you saying!?

PHOENIX:
This is vital evidence!

PHOENIX/MAYA:
This is all we have to support our defense!

VASQUEZ: [spoken]
Boys!

[The Mafia men appear; underscore begins]

PHOENIX:
Um…who are they?

VASQUEZ:
Professionals. Their specialty is…erasing things. How does that sound? Would you like to be
erased?

MAYA:
E-erased!?

VASQUEZ: [sung]
The trial ends tomorrow; it’s Powers’ last stand
A shame you’ll have to miss it, but it’s out of your hands!

PHOENIX:
Just answer me one question; tell me why you care!
This photo was your blackmail, but Hammer’s out of your hair!
You already succeeded; you made a star fall.
Why should you care about this photo at all?

VASQUEZ: [spoken]
I think you’ll have plenty of time to think about that where you’re going.

[sung]
So long, friends.
This is the end.
There’s nothing else to say.

[spoken] So boys,
[sung] erase away!

[The Mafia men advance on the helpless PHOENIX and MAYA, brandishing their blunt objects
of choice, one of which MUST be a fire extinguisher. PHOENIX tries to be manly, standing
protectively in front of MAYA, but is not very convincing. Two thugs grab HIS arms and drag
HIM aside, while another twists MAYA’S arms behind HER back.]

MAYA:
Nooo!

PHOENIX: [struggling]
Maya!

GUMSHOE: [off screen] Hold it right there, pal!

[GUMSHOE’S face appears in the trailer window. Having learned from previous experience, HE
disappears for a moment. The locked door goes flying off its hinges, taking out the fire
extinguisher baddie, who was brandishing HIS weapon threateningly at PHOENIX, and
GUMSHOE enters properly, flashing HIS police badge. Which is actually effective.]

GUMSHOE [CONT’D]:
I heard everything! Dee Vasquez, you’re coming with me!

[VASQUEZ sighs and snaps her fingers. The thugs melt back into the shadows on command.
PHOENIX and MAYA sag with relief.]

GUMSHOE: [To PHOENIX and MAYA]

Hey pal, are you alright?

VASQUEZ: [Still melodic]

Not bad. I suppose we’ll decide this in court tomorrow, Detective. Mr. Wright.

[Flinging her head scarf around her neck, VASQUEZ sweeps from the room]

MAYA:
Detective Gumshoe…thankyouthankyouthankyou…

PHOENIX: [slightly overlapping MAYA]

Th-thanks, Detective…

GUMSHOE: [Already on his way out after VASQUEZ, he turns back]

Huh? Oh. No problem, pal. Just doing my job.

[GUMSHOE stops, thunderstruck.]

MAYA:
Detective Gumshoe?

GUMSHOE:
Sorry, it’s just…I’ve always wanted to say that line ever since I became a detective.

[And thus the spell of GUMSHOE’S awesome is broken. PHOENIX and MAYA exchange a
look as GUMSHOE looks into the distance, blinking hard.]

GUMSHOE [CONT’D]: [clearing his throat as HE fits the door back on its hinges]
Okay, pal. I’ve got one job left to do today. I’ll see you tomorrow in court.

PHOENIX:
Detective!

GUMSHOE:
Yeah, pal?

PHOENIX:
How will Edgeworth feel about all this?

GUMSHOE:
I dunno, pal. But he’ll do his job, just like I do mine.

[GUMSHOE exits]

MAYA:
He’ll break down doors?

[The door closes behind GUMSHOE. fade to black.

Cut to the DEFENDANT’S LOBBY. PHOENIX is leafing through his court record while
MAYA is sitting next to WILL trying to calm HIM down. WILL looks almost sick with
nervousness.]

WILL:
Are you... are you gonna save me today? For real, I mean? I’m innocent! You know I am! You
gotta believe me!

PHOENIX:
Will, I know you’re innocent. You don’t need to convince me, I believe in you now more than
ever. It’s the Judge that we need to convince. But your producer is going to be a hard one to
crack.

WILL:
Wait...! Dee Vasquez is testifying today!? Oh no oh no oh no, I’m dead!! She’ll eat me aliiiiiive!

[WILL begins sobbing loudly. MAYA looks at PHOENIX and shrugs as if to say “I don’t know
what to do now”]

PHOENIX:
Will!

[A terrified shriek from WILL]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
You hid your face from kids until now, but now you have no choice but to show it. Now which
face do you want those kids to see, the face of a coward, or the face of a hero? Their hero. The
Steel Samurai.

WILL:
I... is there a third choice?

PHOENIX:
Come on, Will. Those kids are counting on you. I know you’re not guilty. Let’s let them know,
too.

[WILL looks slightly troubled, and then has a glimmer of confidence. HE gets up, nods, and
walks into the courtroom. PHOENIX looks to MAYA and follows WILL inside.]

MAYA: [A light smile, she looks at PHOENIX]

Mia was right about him.

[MAYA runs to catch up with the other two. The doors shut loudly, scene fades out.

The screen fades back inside THE COURT ROOM, while the JUDGE strikes his gavel.]

JUDGE:
Order! Order!

[The courtroom is silent.]

JUDGE [CONT’D]:
We return for part two of The State vs. The Steel Samurai. In yesterday’s episode, we questioned
the Samurai’s arch-nemeses, Opal Octogenarian and the Garnet Grade-Schooler! What does the
Steel Samurai have in store for us today? Stay tuned!

EDGEWORTH:
Good show, Your Honor. I hope that speech didn’t take too long to plan?

JUDGE:
Only five hours, thank you. Does the prosecution have an opening statement?

EDGEWORTH:
Why, yes, Your Honor. I only have this to say: Wright... I promised myself after our last case
that I’d never lose again. That’s a promise I intend to keep.

JUDGE:
And the defense?

PHOENIX:
Just consider the Phosphate Phoenix to be the Steel Samurai’s greatest ally to date.

JUDGE:
Ho ho! Prosecution, you may call your witness.

EDGEWORTH:
Ah, but your honor, mere spoken words aren’t enough to do her justice. I feel she should
introduce herself.

[EDGEWORTH leads VASQUEZ up to the stand, bows, and resumes HIS place at HIS bench.
Cue “Battle of Wits”.]

VASQUES:
My name is Dee Vasquez
I am a producer
For Global Studios

EDGEWORTH:
On the day of the murder
You were in the second studio...

VASQUEZ:
Yes, as everyone here knows
You will find that my alibi is airtight.
We were trapped at the studio, you see.
Mr. Monkey had fallen, and he was not cleared
Until a half an hour before three.

Nobody left the studio

Though we did take one 15 minute break
That was at 2:30, if you'd like to know
Sal and I each ate a T-bone steak.
PHOENIX: [desk slam, spoken]
OBJECTION!

VASQUEZ:
Don't bang on your desk. It irritates me.

PHOENIX:
Ah...right, well...You say you ate a T-bone steak, but I say you did not! Your plates at Studio
Two were completely bare... Doesn't that seem a little odd?

[sung]
You would think that there would be a bone
If you really ate a T-bone steak

VASQUEZ: [spoken]
Very clever, Mr. Wright. But what does that mean? What are you insinuating?

PHOENIX: Insinuating? Well...

[sung]
Since we know you weren't
Eating your lunch with Sal
I submit to the court, that you, Dee Vasquez
Killed Jack Hammer yourself!

EDGEWORTH:
Wright!! What kind of stunt—

VASQUEZ:
Silence! Let him claim what he wants...Mr. Wright.

[sung]
You say that I did it? [spoken] Very well.
[sung]
Let us have a battle of wits!

First please consider

The Samurai Spear
Quite a large weapon, as you see
How could I, a woman of small stature
Use such a thing—

PHOENIX: [spoken]
I think you could—

VASQUEZ: [spoken]
I am speaking!

[sung]
The victim was stabbed through the front
Of his costume, am I correct?
That means he saw me coming
The "Steel Samurai" (PHOENIX: Oh.)
How on Earth could I win that fight?

PHOENIX:
Well, actually...

[sung]
I'd like to withdraw my previous claim
You couldn't use the spear as we can see

VASQUEZ:
I told you, I'm not guilty

PHOENIX:
I didn't say that, Ms Dee.

VASQUEZ:
What on earth do you mean?

PHOENIX: [spoken] The murder weapon...

[epiphany] wasn't the spear!

As we all know, it was broken

That morning in rehearsal
There was no time for a professional repair!
The costume this object could not pierce!

EDGEWORTH: [spoken]
Wright!! What are you--

VASQUEZ:
SILENCE!

[sung]
My testimony will be heard.
Mr. Wright, if what you say is true
Then what, pray tell,
Weapon do you think I used?

PHOENIX: [spoken]
Well...

[sung]
Please take a look at this photo...
The weapon is right here!

JUDGE: [spoken]
The...fence post? Why... There is a man impaled here!

PHOENIX: [sung]
Five years ago there was an accident here at the studio
Not a word of it was to be leaked to the outside
What happened there five years ago...
Has happened here again.

VASQUEZ:
How interesting...If this is true
Then tell me how I could have moved
The body back to studio one all the way from studio two
I only had 15 minutes to change him and then move
How could I have done that Wright?

PHOENIX:
It's simple— [spoken] and what I say is true.

[sung]
There was no need for you to carry the body
Please recall your own testimony!
The studio van was parked nearby
All you had to do was put his body in and drive!

VASQUEZ: [spoken]
Hm...You're more clever than I thought. Alright. You win. It was fun.

PHOENIX:
I...win!?
[End music. There is a long silence.]

Phoenix: [Awkwardly.]
… So…yeah, how about that.

[PHOENIX shifts his stance a little.]

VASQUEZ:
How about what?
PHOENIX: [Nervous chuckle.]
Well, I won. You killed him, right? You just sa—

VASQUEZ:
Who can say, either way? We had a battle of wits, silly man. It’s only a…possibility…

PHOENIX:
Yes, and therefore-

VASQUEZ: [Big emphasis on “just”.]

Just. A possibility… Proof, Mr. Wright, you need proof. Without proof you have nothing on me,
without decisive proof…it’s just…a possibility.

PHOENIX:
WHAT? No!

JUDGE:
Mr. Edgeworth, do you have any thoughts on the subject?

EDGEWORTH: [Side glance.]

Um…it certainly seems that she did it…but there’s…er…no proof.

PHOENIX: [Softly, to himself]

He’s not sure?

VASQUEZ:
I came as a witness, not as a target. If you’ll excuse me, boys, I will be going.

PHOENIX: [vehemently.]
You did it! You killed Hammer, and we’ve proven it!

JUDGE:
Mr. Wright, calm down! If you have proof that Ms. Vasquez killed Hammer, then present it.

PHOENIX:
I…uhm…
[Desperately thinking] Dammit!

[PHOENIX put his face in his hands]

VASQUEZ:
What a waste of my time…

[Silence. EDGEWORTH’S gaze turns to the defense bench. MAYA is aghast, PHOENIX one
wrong hand movement away from destroying HIS spikes, WILL weeping openly.
EDGEWORTH then turns HIS attention to the oddly calm VASQUEZ, and the camera goes to
focus solely on EDGEWORTH. HE cringes, and balls up HIS fist. The camera goes to the
JUDGE, HIS hand grasping HIS gavel, and holding it in the air.]

EDGEWORTH: [Suddenly]
OBJECTION!

[The camera moves to EDGEWORTH, eyes ablaze…well, figuratively. HIS hand pounds the
desk in his awesome Worthyness]

JUDGE:
…Yes?

EDGEWORTH:
I was trying to come up with something while I objected, You Honor. I didn’t.

JUDGE:
Well, if there’s nothing e—

EDGEWORTH:
OBJECTION!

JUDGE:
What is it now, Mr. Edgeworth?

EDGEWORTH:
I thought of something.
[Hesitates, then clears his throat.] I request the witness testify again.

VASQUEZ:
What is this now? What are you trying to pull? You’re the prosecutor, if I’m correct. This makes
no sense, no not at all.

EDGEWORTH:
Indeed. I just want to hear you testify once more, Ms. Vasquez. Then you are free to leave.
[PHOENIZ looks up, agog at this event.]

VASQUEZ:
And repeat myself, I do not do, I am clear, I am concise, I am not redundant and never repeat
things over and over…

JUDGE:
She has a point, Mr. Edgeworth. This sort of behavior is not permissible in this court. If you have
something to ask, then ask it. Otherwise I will declare my verdict now.

EDGEWORTH:
Indeed…um…and Ergo, I verily state…err….quite. Ahem…indubitably, we must seek
decisive…evidence…and stuff…um…

JUDGE:
Mr. Edgeworth, do you have a question or not?

PHOENIX: [Softly]
Edgeworth?...

EDGEWORTH: [An idea comes to him. HE desk-slams in a sudden burst of confidence] I would
like Ms. Vasquez to testify about finding the body!

JUDGE:
Very well, then. Will the witness testify about the discovery of the late Mr. Hammer?

VASQUEZ:
Very well… I arrived, Oaf and Oldbag already there. I called the police, and when Powers
came…Oldbag screamed that he had done it…I asked to be left out; I went to my office, then
back to home.

PHOENIX:
HOLD IT! What was everyone else doing?

VASQUEZ:
There was silence at the scene, and the world lay still, until Powers came along, [mockingly]
“Hey everyone, sorry I’m late”. Then there was silence…dead…silence.

[Long Silence, ended by PHOENIX clearing his throat]

PHOENIX:
Um…so, you asked to be left out?

VASQUEZ:
Yes.

PHOENIX:
Why?

VASQUEZ:
Why? Why must I answer needless questions? Needless then, needless now.

PHOENIX:
Urk!
[Thinking hard, hand on chin] Why did you go back for your script and notes?

VASQUEZ:
They’re important, no?
PHOENIX:
I guess…wait…why didn’t you bring them with you to rehearsal?

VASQUEZ:
Bring precious items such as the script and notes to a crime scene? I have trouble seeing why a
sane person would.

PHOENIX:
…I see…
[disappointed.] Please continue-

EDGEWORTH:
OBJECTION!
[desk slam] Your honor, I have a small problem with the witness’ last statement!

PHOENIZ:
What!?

EDGEWORTH:
Think… Ms. Vasquez stated that she didn’t bring the script to rehearsal due to the murder.
However, how did she know that?

[Everyone in the courtroom is chattering.]

JUDGE: [Bangs his gavel.]

Order, order!

[People shut up.]

JUDGE [CONT’D]:
Mr. Edgeworth, that was a very reasonable observation. But I’m confused. You’re a prosecutor.

EDGEWORTH:
Correct.

JUDGE:
Mr. Wright is the defense attorney.

PHOENIX:
I guess so…I mean, uh, yes I am.

JUDGE:
Then why are you pointing this out, Mr. Edgeworth? Becoming a defense attorney like-

EDGEWORTH: [Cutting in rather quickly]

I appreciate the concern, your honor. However, I stand by my statement, regardless of how you
view me or my role. Ms. Vasquez, care to explain?

VASQUEZ:
So that’s how it is, I am appalled. It seems the prosecution is in cahoots with the defense. No
matter, not in the least. You misunderstood me. I knew Hammer had a bum leg, and couldn’t do
any action scenes. Therefore, with no script, no notes, no villain, no show to rehearse, I had to go
home, regardless.

PHOENIX:
OBJECTION!...

MAYA:
Nick, what is it?

PHOENIX:
Ms. Vasquez…whose leg was hurt?

VASQUEZ:
Hammer’s. Didn’t you see that? It’s right there in the picture.
[Silence.]What?

PHOENIX:
That’s funny. I could have sworn it was Mr. Powers who injured his leg that day. If everyone
will recall the picture Ms. Vasquez so kindly reminded us of, it was Mr. Hammer inside the suit,
pretending to be my client! Now, Ms. Vasquez…why would you think Mr. Hammer’s leg was
injured?

VASQUEZ:
…Sal…Sal told me.

PHOENIX:
Mr. Manella and Ms. Oldbag has gone on record stating that Mr. Power’s had his leg injured,
and they were both there at the run-through. Why would Sal tell you the wrong person? Simple:
he didn’t. You saw Mr. Hammer limping.

EDGEWORTH:
Indeed. He donned the Steel Samurai costume after drugging Mr. Powers, and the picture shows
him heading towards one of the studios. Another picture, given to us by Cody Hackins, shows
him at Studio Two.

PHOENIX:
Exactly! Ms. Vasquez, you saw him, didn’t you? That’s why you are so confused, aren’t you?

[People chatter]
JUDGE:
Order! I will have order in my court!

[People shut up]

EDGEWORTH:
Witness, do you have a rebuttal?

VASQUEZ:
…Yes, as a matter of fact. Why? Why would I kill Hammer, whom I had under my little thumb?

PHOENIX:
Um…wha?

EDGEWORTH:
In other words, Wright, can you prove she had a motive?

PHOENIX:
Hm…alright…

[PHOENIX digs through his trusty bag-of-epic-win-and-truthiness. HE pulls out the old photo.]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
TAKE THAT! Ms. Vasquez, five years ago you and Jack Hammer were involved in an accident
at Global Studios. A fatal one, both for the victim and Hammer's career. However, you made it
all magically go away, and made Jack Hammer into a slave. And we come to now, where
Hammer works for petty change as The Evil Magistrate, a constant source of shame.

EDGEWORTH:
Um…Wright? Listening to that…it seems that Hammer had a motive for killing Ms. Vasquez.
Not the other way around.

PHOENIX:
Well…what if there was no motive?

EDGEWORTH:
What!? Ludicrous!

PHOENIX:
That’s right, Edgeworth. It was Hammer who was out for blood! Simply put, why did Hammer
go through all this just to go get murdered? Drugging Powers, stealing his costume to fool the
Oldbag and a camera, and made his way to the trailer, all of these made no sense until now. He
did it to kill Dee Vasquez. Dee killed Hammer in self defense! Isn't that what happened...?

[VASQUEZ, listening to PHOENIX’S explanation with mounting tension in HER body

language and expression, goes into a flashback. At first we only hear the voices, overlapping
frantically, then maybe some quick black, white, and red snapshots. VASQUEZ holding
MANUEL, pounding HAMMER’S chest, then, as her present self, confronting HAMMER and
pushing him off the stairs.]

VASQUEZ [V.O, in the past]:

Someone, call an ambulance! Manuel! Manuel!

VOICE (HAMMER?):
It’s too late…

VOICE 2:
Ms. Vasquez, please try to remain calm!

VASQUEZ:
You did this, you—

HAMMER:
N-no! It was an accident, I swear!

VASQUEZ:
Manuel! Please…no…

[The voices flash forward in time. VASQUEZ and HAMMER’S conforontation.]

HAMMER:
This is it, Vasquez. I’ve had enough.

VASQUEZ: [Disdainful]
What do you mean, Hammer?

HAMMER:
Enough of this two-bit part in this two-bit show…enough of that Powers goon…Enough of you.

VASQUEZ:
What?!

[Flash of Hammer falling, then a sword strike and a garbled scream.]

VASQUEZ [CONT’D]:
No!

[End flashback, colors return. VASQUEZ snaps her pipe.]

PHOENIX:
So you did it, didn’t you?
VASQUEZ: [Spoken, for the first time, gentle and relaxed]
Yes…It was me.

[VASQUEZ smiles at the lawyers in turn]

VASQUEZ [CONT’D]:
Congratulations, Mr. Wright, Mr. Edgeworth. You two make quite the team.

[Conspicuous silence from EDGEWORTH]

JUDGE: [clearing his throat]

Indeed. Mr. Wright, it appears you’ve brought about another miracle.

PHOENIX:
Ah…Thank you, Your Honor.

EDGEWORTH:
I think not, Your Honor. Will Powers is innocent. There’s no miracle in that.

JUDGE:
…Yes. Yes, you’re right. Very well. This court finds the defendant, Mr. Will Powers…

[Flash to EDGEWORTH this time rather than PHOENIX or the defendant?]

JUDGE [CONT’D]:
NOT GUILTY.

[MAYA hugs WILL, who bursts into tears. PHOENIX tries to comfort HIM, and ends up getting
sucked into a group hug. VASQUEZ gives a dramatic final bow and is escorted off by a
BALIFF, looking cool as a cucumber. General ruckus, including an offhand mention of ice
cream. EDGEWORTH is alone at his bench.

Cue “Decree of the Prosecutor”.]

EDGEWORTH: [sung, looking down at his evidence]

What can I say? All the signs point to the truth.
My perfect guilty record—forever tainted, thanks to you.
This court is meant to stop the ones who bring darkness to the light.
It’s natural—no miracle—for this court to make it right

[EDGEWORTH approaches PHOENIX as HE is exiting the COURT ROOM]

EDGEWORTH: [spoken]
You listen to me, Wright. These lingering doubts you’ve burdened me with serve no useful
purpose. Don’t ever show your face to me again. That’s what I wanted to say.
[EDGEWORTH shoulders passed roughly, leaving a sadly confused PHOENIX and irritated
MAYA.]

EDGEWORTH: [sung]
Guilty for blaming an innocent man...that is the curse of the prosecutor.
Before I faced him, I won every case, but now I have been shamed and disgraced.
Vasquez was framing an innocent man. I took the bait, hook and sinker
I was relentless in playing my cards, when and where did it all fall apart?

After Wright sauntered in with that grin on his face,

Though he bluffed the whole time, somehow he won the case!
And I don't know how one man so new to the law
Can incense me so much that it breaks my resolve...
But I know...yes, I know...

Even though I've fallen, I'll rise again.

I admit that I've made mistakes.
A new day will soon begin, and I swear that I will win,
Yes, I'll do whatever it takes!
Staunchly, I'll ascend to the top again.
I won't let another go free.
I know this is not the end, I feel a new fire within:
A personal renaissance in me!

Every criminal earns his punishment!

So I've always done all I could.
What's the harm in filling in the blanks, to some extent,
If it's for the greater good?

[spoken]
Yes. If the defendant is clearly guilty, falsifying evidence should not be an issue at all— it's my
civic duty. But...is that the only reason? Or do I do it for myself as well? Either way, no matter
how many cases I win...it won't change the past.

[sung]
One lingering thought fills my mind, burdening me with anxiety:
"Have I, indeed, been so blinded with pretentious piety?
For if I cheat in the courts, can I say with a straight face
That I'm a better man than the sorts whom I prosecute every case?"

[spoken]
But no one should go through what I've been through...ever. Therefore, it's my role, my
obligation, my responsibility to condemn.

[sung]
Frankly, some may doubt cases I have won.
I will still fulfill my duty.
And I'll do what must be done, to capture the wicked ones,
For this is demanded of me.
I have gone above and beyond, at times—
Justice requires the extra mile!
I sense Wright thinks I am blind. If I peered into his mind,
Then I'D be the one who is on trial!

[Spoken rhythmically]
Wright, you fool! Can't you understand, I'm not a monster, I'm just a man!
Despite my objections and my commands, that crime shall pay is my only demand!
And while you search for contradictions, thinking I just want convictions,
You can't comprehend just why I take my stand!

[sung]
I fight for truth! I fight for justice,
And so all families can safely sleep at night.
To stop criminalization, I pursue incarceration. For security,
I'll fight you until your spirit breaks!
I'll fight, no matter what is at stake!
Not fame, not glory, but this courtroom purgatory
Is the reason I fight...
And we'll meet again, Phoenix Wright!

[Scene goes black]

END ACT I
ACT II
Week 6

[The overture music cuts off abruptly. Rumbling noises, screams. Silence, black screen. Unless
explicitly stated, we cannot see any of these characters, hearing only their voices. Flashback
voices from DL-6 are in italics for clarity.]

EDGEWORTH:
Is anyone there?

VOICE [which could be either GREGORY or HAMMOND. Or both.]:

Wh-what are you doing?

YOGI: [disguised voice]

It’s been fifteen years since that day…
VOICE:
Wait! Just stay calm!

YOUNG EDGEWORTH:
Father! Let go of my father!

YOGI:
You can’t imagine how much I’ve suffered…

EDGEWORTH:
You…you suffered?

YOGI:
And now, at last, I will have my revenge!

YOUNG EDGEWORTH:
Leave us alone!

EDGEWORTH:
What!?

YOGI:
Merry Christmas.

[We hear two almost simultaneous gunshots, see the muzzle flash. A beat later, a lantern flicks
on and EDGEWORTH stumbles forward, under-lit. HE’S holding a pistol and appears to be in
shock. Beat. The light goes off at the sound of a party popper (identical to the gunshot sounds).
EDGEWORTH disappears, confetti goes everywhere, and the lights go up.

We fade into the Prosecutor’s office. GUMSHOE walks up to EDGEWORTH’S office door,
humming “Jingle Bells” to himself, holding a crudely wrapped present. HE knocks, no answer.
HE knocks again, stopping HIS humming.]

GUMSHOE:
Hey pal, you okay in there?

[No answer. GUMSHOE sighs and places the present at the foot of the door]

GUMSHOE:
Locked yourself up, same as every year…
[Calling through the door] Okay, then! Happy Holidays, Mr. Edgeworth! See you next year!

[With a shrug, GUMSHOE turns and leaves the prosecutor’s office, now whistling “Frosty the
Snowman” to himself. As he goes outside, a rush of wind hits his face, carrying what appears to
be snow. GUMSHOE wipes his face and looks at the “snow”, thrilled.]
GUMSHOE:
Snow!?

[GUMSHOE looks over to the side and realizes it’s just soap suds blowing from a nearby
Laundromat.]

GUMSHOE: [Shaking his head]

Shoulda known, I guess…

[GUMSHOE proceeds to walk down the streets, hugging HIS coat closer to ward off the cold.

Cue “Beautiful Christmas Day.]

GUMSHOE:
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas…
But then again, aren’t we all?
Wouldn’t it be nice
If instead of rain and ice
A fluffy, cleansing snow started to fall?

[GUMSHOE arrives at his apartment and hangs his jacket]

Christmas Bells are ringing

Carolers are singing
And here I am again without a penny to my name
My tree’s less than two feet
Ramen’s all I have to eat
It seems like things will always be the same

Alone in my small tower

Those Christmas bells sound sour
Every year, it has played the same way
But still I keep on smiling
As long as those bells are chiming
'Cause I believe, that things could change, on this beautiful Christmas day…

[GUMSHOE goes to a small window, and with some difficulty as it seems to be broken, HE
opens it. A gust of wind rushes into the room, changing it into the Wright and Co. Law offices,
where MAYA stands decorating Charlie.]

MAYA:
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas…
[spoken rhythmically] C’mon Nick, help me hang the star!

PHOENIX: [Watching TV]

It doesn’t snow here, Maya.
MAYA:
[spoken] I know. But…

[sung]
Wouldn’t it be nice
If instead of wind and ice
Snow traveled down from afar!
[spoken] It snows up in the mountains, you know!

PHOENIX:
Yeah, and it melts into horrible, cold rain on the way down.

MAYA:
Niiick! Where’s your holiday spirit? If you don’t ask for miracles on Christmas, when can you
ask for them?

PHOENIX:
When indeed…

[MAYA stops what SHE’S doing and turns to PHOENIX. Seeing HIM slumped over on the
couch, HER expression softens. SHE stands in front of HIM, blocking HIS view]

PHOENIX (CONT’D):
Hey!

MAYA (PHOENIX):
C’mon St. Nick (Cute…)
Pack up for your trip
Because we’ve got a long way
To go, don’t you know?
Before it starts to snow (It doesn’t snow!)
On this beautiful Christmas day!

It’s that time of year

Filled with warmth and cheer
It’s almost like the world stops to breathe a sigh (Sigh…)
Listen, hear them sing
How those Christmas bells ring
And you know everything is going to be alright…

PHOENIX:
Maybe…

[MAYA skips over to Charlie, where the presents are set. SHE picks one up and shakes it
roughly.]
MAYA:
Hmm, wonder what this one is!

[PHOENIX runs over and snatches it from HER]

PHOENIX:
Careful! You’re going to break it!

MAYA:
Aha! So it’s something fragile! Here, let me take a peek! Just one! It does have my name on it!

PHOENIX: [Sighs]
Fine… Just… be careful! I’m not buying you another one.

[MAYA unwraps her present with gusto and then gasps]

MAYA:
A limited edition Pink Princess action figure!? But these are brand new! Nick! You must’ve
stood in line for hours to get your hands on one of these! Not to mention, when did you get out of
my sight long enough to manage it?

PHOENIX:
Well, ‘tis the season and all that.

MAYA:
Sheesh, now I feel bad that I home-made your gift…

PHOENIX:
Well, I guess it’s the thought that counts.

MAYA:
Yeah? And what is it that you’re thinking? Whatever it is, it’s sure got you down.

PHOENIX:
I’m sorry Maya, it’s just…

[sung]
Here, having a Fey/Wright Christmas
It just feels somehow out of form
With cheer I should be reeling
But I cannot shake the feeling
That this is all the calm before the storm

MAYA: [cheerily]
Storms…
Bring…
Snow…!

Storms…
Bring—

PHOENIX: [Interrupting]
No investigative capers
All this time just filing papers
Everything’s going our way
The world’s teeming with life
No one expects the drop of the knife
On this beautiful Christmas day…

MAYA: [spoken]
Oh Nick, you’re being paranoid!

PHOENIX:
Maybe… but I still don’t know.

MAYA:
Hmm… Hey, I’ve got it! If I channel Mia, would that put your mind at ease? I’m sure sis would
know just what to say!

PHOENIX:
Yeah, maybe that is what I—

MAYA:
THAT REMINDS ME!

PHOENIX:
Wha—?

MAYA:
Nick, sorry but I can’t channel her right now. I need to train! I’ve been slacking lately and I
should train now that I remember!

PHOENIX:
Shouldn’t you be training everyday…?

MAYA:
Did you not hear the ‘slacking’ part? Anyway Nick, do you know where a waterfall might be?

PHOENIX:
Um… why?
MAYA:
A waterfall is a perfect place for a spirit medium to train, duh!

PHOENIX:
I guess I should have known that… (..not.)

[PHOENIX sighs and doesn’t answer, looking away with a doubtful look still on his face.
MAYA stops everything and touches HIS shoulder, smiling at HIM comfortingly. Then MAYA
grabs PHOENIX and pulls HIM over to Charlie, handing him some decorations to hang. The
scene is now split between PHOENIX, MAYA, and GUMSHOE, as all three start to sing]

[simultaneously]

GUMSHOE:
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas…
But then again, aren’t we all?
Wouldn’t it be nice
If instead of rain and ice
A fluffy, cleansing snow started to fall?

MAYA:
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas…
C’mon Nick, help me hang the star!
Wouldn’t it be nice
If instead of wind and ice
Snow traveled down from afar!

PHOENIX:
Here, having a Fey/Wright Christmas
It just feels somehow out of form
With cheer I should be reeling
But I cannot shake the feeling
That this is all the calm before the storm

[The scene pans over to only include GUMSHOE. GUMSHOE’S cell phone rings, interrupting
the song as HE picks it up, the music still playing in the background]

GUMSHOE:
Hello? Wait… Mr. Edgeworth has been WHAT?!

[GUMSHOE gets up and puts on HIS coat, rushing out the door. The scene is split in three again
as GUMSHOE races through the streets, while MAYA and PHOENIX decorate Charlie.

Simultaneously]

GUMSHOE:
Alone in my small tower
Those Christmas bells sound sour
Every year, it has played the same way
But still I keep on smiling
As long as those bells are chiming

MAYA:
It’s that time of year
Filled with warmth and cheer
It’s almost like the world stops to breathe a sigh
Listen, hear them sing
How those Christmas bells ring

PHOENIX:
No investigative capers
All this time just filing papers
Everything’s going our way
The world’s teeming with life
No one expects the drop of the knife

[GUMSHOE arrives at the Wright and Co. Law offices, and the scene changes to only
PHOENIX and MAYA, decorating the tree]

GUMSHOE (MAYA):
'Cause I believe, that things could change,
(And you know everything is going to be alright…)

PHOENIX:
On this beautiful Christmas…

MAYA:
On this beautiful Christmas…

PHOENIX/MAYA:
On this beautiful Christmas…!

[Suddenly, GUMSHOE barges into the Wright & Co Law Offices, looking panicked and worn
out]

GUMSHOE: [spoken]
Hey…!

PHOENIX: [dropping decorations on the floor in surprise]

Detective Gumshoe? You know a knock would’ve sufficed—

GUMSHOE:
Somethin’ urgent just happened!

MAYA:
Merry Christmas, Detective! Hey, where’s my present, pal?

GUMSHOE:
One, don’t say “pal”. That’s MY endearing character trait. And two, take a look at this!

[GUMSHOE shoves a newspaper in PHOENIX’S face]

PHOENIX: [Pulling the newspaper off his face to read it]

“Foul Play at Gourd Lake: Miles Edgeworth…
[pauses, straightening in shock] Arrested??!!
[Walks around the room as he reads] The young prosecutor, known for his tough stance on
crime, was arrested this morning due to suspicious circumstances surrounding the discovery of
an unidentified body in Gourd Lake.”
[Looks up] W-what?!

MAYA:
No way! Nick, how could this happen!?

PHOENIX: [Dropping the newspaper to his side]

I… I guess I was right.

[All three look crestfallen (GUMSHOE looking a little wound up as well) and they look to the
floor. A silence. Then MAYA pipes up softly]

MAYA:
Will it turn out alright...?

GUMSHOE/PHOENIX:
I can’t believe
How things have changed

GUMSHOE/PHOENIX/MAYA:
On this ominous…
Christmas day

[The music ends]

GUMSHOE: [Suddenly nodding with determination]

SO!? What are you going to do about it?

PHOENIX:
Um…I dunno…
GUMSHOE:
You DON’T KNOW!? I didn’t spend all day trying to find Butz & Co. Law Offices for nothing,
pal!

PHOENIX:
Look, it's Wright. Phoenix Wright. Got it memorized? [Finger pointed at his own temple]

GUMSHOE: [Slumps over a little, like a scolded puppy]

It was only a joke, pal…

MAYA: [Uncomfortable, changing the subject.]

So…you must really trust in Mr. Edgeworth?

GUMSHOE:
You kidding me? There’s no way he murdered that guy! It’s impossible! I don’t care if there’s a
witness to the murder! I don’t care that his prints are on the murder weapon! I don’t believe a
lick of it!

MAYA:
So, who’s his defense attorney?

GUMSHOE:
No one will…I mean, he’s crushed every attorney he’s been against.

[MAYA and PHOENIX exchange a glance]

GUMSHOE (CONT’D)
If a defense attorney were to take his case, and lose, they’d be the laughing stock of the nation!
And the case against him is…pretty solid…

[GUMSHOE looks at PHOENIX expectantly]

PHOENIX:
...What?

GUMSHOE:
Okay, let me put this plainly for the Mr. Head In The Fluffy Pink Clouds Defense Attorney:
You’re going to defend him.

PHOENIX:
I would, but...

GUMSHOE:
Look, pal, I’m not TELLING you, I’m ASKING you!

PHOENIX: [Massages his temples]

Other way around, detective. And if you'd let me finish, I don’t think he’d LET us defend him,
no matter what my interests are.

GUMSHOE:
So that’s it? You’re going to turn your back on him too…?

PHOENIX: [somewhat defensive]

I'm not turning my back—

GUMSHOE: [interrupting]
And after all he’s done for you! The Steel Samurai case! Mr. Edgeworth helped you get your
client innocent, and got to the real murderer’s bottom!

PHOENIX:
That still doesn’t cut it. He won’t ask us. Let’s just say it’s a gut feeling.

GUMSHOE:
Oh really?

PHOENIX: [Annoyed]
Yes…really…

GUMSHOE:
But ever since that case, he’s been talking about you.

MAYA:
Whoa… what has he been saying?

GUMSHOE:
He’s been at his window, looking out, going…

[Flashback, GUMSHOE could be doing a menial task, such as polishing EDGEWORTH’S desk,
or on that book ladder of doom, reorganizing the books, maybe even pressing the suit from
EDGEWORTH and MIA’S first trial.]

EDGEWORTH [GUMSHOE V.O, childishly]:

Wright, Wright, Wright… Wright… Wright…

[End flashback]

GUMSHOE:
Over, and over again.

PHOENIX:
An omen, I’m sure.
GUMSHOE:
So, you’re going to take the case? Please, pal, you’re my last hope…

MAYA: [Now on GUMSHOE’S side]

Pleeeeease Nick? You don’t want to make Gumshoe cry, do you?

PHOENIX: [Sigh]
…alright…I’ll visit him, and ask him. But it’s his decision, alright?

GUMSHOE: [Bear hugs PHOENIX and MAYA]

THANK YOU! You’ll barely regret this, pal!

PHOENIX: [Breathless, to himself]

I already do…

[Polyphonic “Steel Samurai” theme plays. GUMSHOE searches through his multiple pockets,
and takes out a Steel Samurai-themed beeper.]

GUMSHOE:
Uh-oh… late for a meeting… I’ll see you later, pal… I believe in you, Mr. Butz!

[GUMSHOE bolts out of the room, leaving PHOENIX shaking with frustration. MAYA pats
him on the back empathetically, and PHOENIX sighs.]

MAYA:
If it makes you feel any better, I doubt there’s another Phoenix out there…like some evil twin.
Oh! That would be awesome! Nick v. Bizarro Wright, prosecutor…that would be Samurai
worthy…ooh! Especially if you were carrying a giant sword!

PHOENIX: [Groans, getting suitcase]

Well, I guess we should swing by the Detention Center…at least make an attempt, right?

MAYA:
Right, let’s go!

[They walk out of the office, MAYA humming the Steel Samurai theme.

Cut to THE DETENTION CENTER

MAYA and PHOENIX stand in the visitor’s end of the room, fidgeting. The other half of the
room, glassed off, is empty (the security guard has presumably gone to fetch EDGEWORTH).
PHOENIX and MAYA have apparently been waiting a while.]

PHOENIX: [impatient]
What is he doing, fixing his hair?

MAYA:
Give him a break, Nick. Were you eager to see visitors when you were in here?

PHOENIX:
…I guess not.

MAYA: [with classic MAYA logic]

You know, come to think of it… we’ve all been in here, at one time or another. Is that some kind
of lawyer thing?

[PHOENIX is about to respond when the door opens. EDGEWORTH enters, immaculately
groomed—he was SO fixing his hair—but clearly exhausted. He catches sight of PHOENIX, and
immediately turns back to the door, banging on it. The door doesn’t open.]

PHOENIX: [over EDGEWORTH’S actions]

Hey! Edgeworth!

EDGEWORTH: [leaning his head against the door]

What do you want, Wright?
[Beat] Have you come to laugh at the fallen attorney?
[He cocks his head around slightly, glaring] Well?

MAYA:
Nick? Are we supposed to be laughing?

PHOENIX: [shaking his head at MAYA]

No. Drop the melodrama, Edgeworth. We don’t have so much spare time that we can come down
here just to laugh at you.

EDGEWORTH: [Half-turning away from the door, towards PHOENIX, with a hint of a smirk]
Yes. You do.
[Beat, he turns around the rest of the way, vulnerable] I hoped you wouldn’t come.

PHOENIX:
Well, we’re here now. You might as well talk to us.

[With one last glance at the door, EDGEWORTH crosses to the glassed-in counter and sits.]

EDGEWORTH:
Let’s get this over with, Mr. Wright. Ms Fey.

[EDEWORTH nods stiffly to them]

PHOENIX:
Edgeworth…what happened? Gourd Lake—that's a long way from your office and the
courthouse. What were you doing there?
EDGEWORTH:
You could tell me what you’re doing here first. Because you have such a busy schedule.

MAYA:
Duh! We’re here to help you! Right Nick?

PHOENIX: [Taking his cue from MAYA, nodding]

Edgeworth. Let me defend you.

EDGEWORTH:
Hah! Good one, Wright. But I’m not that hard up. Not yet.

MAYA:
But Detective Gumshoe told us that no other attorney would take your case! He was really
worried!

EDGEWORTH: [His shoulders slump a little before he catches himself]

So you heard.

PHOENIX:
Is it really that bad?

EDGEWORTH:
It’s my own fault. After all, I did get every single one of their clients a guilty verdict. And my
case… well. It’s all over the news. The lawyer who takes the defense… his reputation will go
down with me, no matter if he’s an ace like Marvin Grossberg or Mia Fey… or a novice like
you, Wright.

PHOENIX:
H-hey!

EDGEWORTH:
Like it or not, you’ve only been in three trials. You’ve got to lose sometime. I’d rather it weren’t
on my account.

MAYA:
But… we won those trials because our clients were innocent! If you didn’t do it, then what’s the
problem?

[EDGEWORTH is silent]

PHOENIX:
Edgeworth… you didn’t do it… Did you?

EDGEWORTH: [Avoidant]
Think what you will.
PHOENIX: [Desk slam!]
I don’t believe it!

EDGEWORTH:
Regardless of what you believe, I won’t—I can’t ask you to do this.

MAYA:
B-but why?! Nick’s only trying to help you!

EDGEWORTH:
I know! I know...! Please. Just leave me alone, okay?

[PHOENIX turns and heads for the door]

MAYA:
Nick, wait!

PHOENIX:
Come on, Maya. We need answers.

[PHOENIX look at EDGEWORTH, who is avoiding eye contact]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
We’re not going to get that here.

[Scene fade out.

Fade in to, PHOENIX and MAYA as they approach the GOURD LAKE snack bar. The shore
seems peaceful and tranquil]

MAYA:
Wow… What a beautiful lake! It’s so peaceful and serene and—

LARRY: [off-screen]
AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[PHOENIX and MAYA jump at the scream and turn with the camera to see SANTA (LARRY)
and a SMALL CHILD kicking his shins ferociously]

SANTA (LARRY): [In tears, hysterical]

Listen kid, I’m not the real Santa, I’m sorry you didn’t get that rocket ship, it’s not my fault your
dad said, just pleasepleasepleaseplease sto- [takes breath to sob]-oooop!!!

[CHILD stops and looks petulantly up at SANTA (LARRY) and crosses HIS arms, considering
sparing HIM. SANTA (LARRY) meekly uncovers HIS eyes, seeing HIS window of opportunity]

SANTA (LARRY) [CONT’D]:

…how about a Samurai Dog?

CHILD:
…Fine. I want two rockets next year.

SANTA (LARRY):
Okay dude.
[Reaches behind the counter and gets a hot dog] Here’s your Original Samurai Dog from Gourd
Lake: home of the one and only Gourdy! And that’s only ten dollars—

[CHILD snatches the hot dog from SANTA (LARRY), sticks out his tongue and runs away
giggling. SANTA (LARRY) takes off HIS beard and hat, revealing none other than the tear-
stained visage of…]

PHOENIX:
Larry!

[LARRY turns abruptly to see PHOENIX]

LARRY:
Nick, my man!

[LARRY goes in for the awkward cool guy hug. It... doesn’t really work]

LARRY [CONT’D]:
How has the world been treatin’ ya?
[Sees MAYA, who is still a little petrified] Ohoho, pretty well I see, wink wink if ya know what
I mean!

[PHOENIX is so aghast at what LARRY is suggesting, and the way LARRY put it, that he is
stunned silent. However, MAYA can manage to make a sentence]

MAYA:
Umm, no. Not exactly. I’m Maya Fey, you know? The little sister?

LARRY: [Immediately drops into super-serious mode]

Dude. Nick. Dude, that is tough man. Workin’ hard all day, takin’ care of a little sister. That’s
just tragic.
[Snaps into super-happy mode!] My tragedies are finally over, sayonara, seeya later, goodbye
forEVER! I’ve finally found my dream girl! Her name’s Kiyance… She’s really “fierce”
[Uses air quotes (poorly)]. She’s super “fabulous” and—and “rad” and “bootylish—
PHOENIX: [Looking like he has a headache]
Larry, please stop.

LARRU:
Whoa. Whoa. “Girl, don’t hate.”
[Beams] Kiyance taught me that. Yessir, it’s been nothing but smooth sailing! Especially with
Gourdy bringing in all this business, we are living large my friend!

PHOENIX:
Gourdy?

LARRY:
Yeah, man! You gotta read the papers more. Here.
[Hands PHOENIX an article] Some photographer says they actually saw the elusive “Gourdy”
[Poor finger quotes].
Well dude, ever since then, everyone’s wanted to see that lovable sea—uh, lake monster.

PHOENIX:
You mean people actually believe this monster exists?

LARRY:
Whatever man, but you’d better keep on moving ‘cause we don’t serve non-believers here.
Gourdy’s brought in tons business. Even if some of them are horrible bratty kids… Man,
remember when we were that age, getting into all kinds of shenanigans! Dude we had so many
capers!

PHOENIX:
Okay, right, but about last night—

MAYA:
What!? You mean you guys were kids together?

LARRY:
Of course! We were like the three amigos, the unstoppable trio, the bodacious—

MAYA:
Wait, trio? Who was the third person?

LARRY:
Why none other than, Miles Atticus Edgeworth!

MAYA:
WHAT???

LARRY:
Of course!
[Enter a series of flashback stills. First one; EDGEWORTH looking surly, PHOENIX looking
mischievous and LARRY in the middle looking, well, like LARRY]

LARRY [V.O]:
We were like P B and J!
[Close up on LARRY'S goofy grin of first picture] I was Butter, in case you were wondering.
But that was the old Edgey.

[Image of EDGEWORTH holding stack of books twice his size]

LARRY [V.O, CONT’D]:

I mean, he was always kind of a stick in the mud, studying and talking about man’s duty to
society.

[Image of EDGEWORTH “Objection” pose, like in game]

LARRY [V.O, CONT’D]:

He wanted to be just like his dad, defending the “weak and downtrodden”.

[Enter LARRY to previous image, putting bunny ears behind EDEWORTH’S dramatic pose and
making a silly face]

LARRY [V.O, CONT’D]:

I guess he was kinda lame.

[Image same as previous two, but EDGEWORTH has turned with an annoyed grin to LARRY
who is cracking up]

LARRY [V.O, CONT’D]:

But we had some good times.

MAYA (V.O):
Hold on!

[Snap back to present]

MAYA (CONT’D):
He wanted to defend people? Larry he’s a prosecutor now—

PHOENIX: [Cutting her off]

And a murder suspect.

[LARRY looks incredulous, but not his typical caricature]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
At midnight last night, right here, someone was killed and Edgeworth is the main suspect. Larry,
I need to know, did you see anything here last night?

LARRY: [Serious]
No man, I’m sorry. I definitely left before midnight.

PHOENIX: [Disappointed]
Great…

LARRY:
But now that I think about it… There was this crazy lady staying on the other side of the lake last
night! She kept screaming at me. One second she’d be all “Howdy Y’all!” then the next it’d be
“TARNATION WHADDAYA THINK YER DOIN’?????”

PHOENIX: [Dryly]
Must be hard to deal with someone so erratic.

LARRY: [Earnest]
Dude, I KNOW, it was so annoying!!!

PHOENIX:
Well let’s see if we can find this woman. Come on Maya.

[PHOENIX starts briskly walking off]

MAYA: [To LARRY, quickly before she has to go]

Wait, do you know what could've changed Edgeworth's—

[PHOENIX looks around, sees MAYA is still with LARRY, and calls out to her]

PHOENIX:
Maya!

[MAYA pouts and jogs a little to catch up with PHOENIX who has already continued walking
swiftly away from a conversation HE doesn’t want to have. LARRY puts on HIS beard and hat
again as the two figures walk away]

LARRY: [Thumbs Up]

Merry Christmas, man!

[PHOENIX and MAYA are on their way to the camping grounds when PHOENIX notices a
party popper in front of them on the ground.]

PHOENIX:
Huh?
MAYA:
Ooohhh, a popper thingy!
[Kneels down in front of it] You know, those poppers that go “pop”.

PHOENIX:
Yeah…you see them a lot during New Year.

MAYA: [She gets up]

Let’s take it, it might be a clue.

PHOENIX:
…I guess it couldn’t hurt…
[Bends to pick up the popper] …Hey! Where did it go?

MAYA:
It’s in my pocket.

[MAYA walks to the camp site and PHOENIX slowly follows]

MAYA:
It’s really nice here –

PHOENIX:
Except for that messy campsite over there…
[Pause] They’ve got guts, camping by a murder scene… But then again, that SUV looks like it’s
seen a few of them.

MAYA:
Was that a joke? ‘Cause I didn’t get it.

PHOENIX: [Sigh]
I try to be funny –

MAYA: [Cuts him off]

Hey! If this person was camping here last night, they might know something about the murder.

PHOENIX:
Good call Maya, let’s investigate – but don’t mess with any –

[MAYA is already examining the camera]

MAYA:
Nick! Check out this camera, it has some sort of mic…

PHOENIX:
Yeah… hm, it looks like some automatic system for taking photos when a noise is heard.
MAYA:
Oh cool! Let’s try it.
[Big breath, then yells] PPPPHOENIX
[Pause] PPPPHOEEEENIIIIIX WRIIIIGHT ATTOOORRRRRNEEEEEY AAAAAT
LAWLLL!

PHOENIX:
Stop that!

MAYA: [Sulks]
It’s broken.

[MAYA kicks the camera]

PHOENIX:
D-don’t kick it! Maybe it isn’t set to respond to voices.

[MAYA suddenly brightens up and pulls out the popper.]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
What are you -?

[BANG! The popper sounds, followed by the camera rattling off 100 kliks]

MAYA:
It worked!

[LOTTA HART comes running out of nowhere]

LOTTA:
Yaaaaaaaaawww! Ya’ll git way from my camera!

[LOTTA is examining the camera now]

LOTTA [CONT’D]:
GAH! Ya wasted a whole roll of film!

MAYA:
S-Sorry.

LOTTA:
Sorry? That don’t cut it! Do ya know how much this here film costs me? What were you doing,
setting if off like that!?

MAYA:
Ah…um….

LOTTA: [Turns to PHOENIX]

And you! Shouldn’t ya have stopped her?

PHOENIX:
Ah…um…see…I…uh…

LOTTA:
GAWD! I’d rather watch corn grow than sit through ya stuttering.

[LOTTA goes back to her camera]

PHOENIX:
Ah… ma’am?

LOTTA:
Can’t ya’ll see I’m busy? Someone, I won’t name who, used up a WHOLE ROLL OF FILM!

MAYA:
Sorry!

PHOENIX:
…Ma’am?

LOTTA:
What?!

[PHOENIX holds up his badge]

PHOENIX:
I….ah…

LOTTA:
…What?

PHOENIX:
My badge….

LOTTA: [Unimpressed]
And?

PHOENIX:
I’m a lawyer.

[LOTTA’S eyes get wide]

LOTTA:
Are ya going to sue me over the film? ‘Cause I ain’t afraid to fight! Come on! I’ll take you on
barehanded.

PHOENIX:
N-no, we’re here investigating a murder.

LOTTA:
A murder?
[Pauses, shifting in mood] Ya peaked my interests! I’m Lotta Hart, but you can call me Lotta.
Mighty pleased ta meet ya!

PHOENIX:
Ah… right, I’m Phoenix Wright and this is Maya Fey. So…what can you tell me about last
night?

LOTTA:
Well, I mighty can’t remember. I was here photographing… ah, er meteor showers. Yep, been at
it for a good three days now.

PHOENIX:
Meteor showers?

MAYA: [Points to the camera]

T-That’s an interesting camera for meteor showers.

LOTTA:
Ah, ayup.

MAYA:
What’s that device on it?

LOTTA:
Oh that? That programs the camera to take pictures whenever a sound is heard. Right now it’s
going to pick up loud noises.

PHOENIX:
Loud like…an exploding noise?

LOTTA:
Ayep.

PHOENIX:
The victim of the murder was killed by a pistol…you don’t think…
MAYA:
Your camera took a picture of the murder?

LOTTA:
… Hey! Y’all are pretty bright. Let me take a look at the film!

[LOTTA moves away to examine her camera. SHE suddenly runs back.]

LOTTA [CONT’D]:
We got a bingo! Two pictures were taking last night! Here look!

[PHOENIX and MAYA examine the photos]

LOTTA [CONT’D]:
It’s the very scene of the crime!

PHOENIX:
It’s a little blurry.

LOTTA:
But that here looks like a gun!

[THEY stop looking at the photos]

LOTTA [CONT’D]:
I saw the murder happen! I’m a witness! What do I do now?

PHOENIX:
Let’s show this to the police.

MAYA:
Right!

[Cut to: MAYA and PHOENIX enter the CRIMINAL AFFAIRS DEPARTMENT, buzzing with
activity. The two seem to be lost in the swarm of police officers talking and deducing.
PHOENIX tries in vain to talk to the officers.]

PHOENIX:
Excuse me, officer, could you–

OFFICER 1:
Not now, I’m busy.

PHOENIX:
Oh thanks... Uh, you, sir, you wouldn’t be able to–
OFFICER 2:
Out of my way!

PHOENIX:
Yes, excuse me. Pardon me, ma’am, I wanted to–

OFFICER 3:
Move it or lose it, spikey!

PHOENIX:
...well, I don’t think that was called for.

MAYA:
Where do you think Detective Gumshoe is?

PHOENIX:
Well, there’s no way we’ll find him like this. Only one thing to do, I guess. TAKE THAT!

[PHOENIX shines his attorney’s badge. It glistens incredibly and everyone looks up at it. HE
smiles mildly and continues to talk.]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Well. Um... now that I have your attention, where is Dete–

[The police officers all continue about their business. It turns out the attorney’s badge was
useless after all.]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Why do they even bother to give you one of these things if it can’t do anything...?

GUMSHOE: [Off-screen]
That you, pal?

[GUMSHOE pushes his way through the swarm of police rabble]

GUMSHOE [CONT’D]:
Here, come with me.

[GUMSHOE leads PHOENIX and MAYA to a less active corner of the room. It’s HIS desk,
cluttered with papers, ramen noodle packages, and Blue Badger paraphernalia. HE stares at it,
puzzled. HE then pushes everything on the desk onto the floor in a loud crash.]

GUMSHOE [CONT’D]:
C’mon, sit down!

[MAYA and PHOENIX pull up chairs and GUMSHOE sits behind his desk. It is obviously too
small for him.]

GUMSHOE [CONT’D]:
Welcome!

MAYA:
Thanks, Detective! Now did you–

GUMSHOE: [Drastic mood swing]

What were you two thinking!? Why’d you get another witness against Mr. Edgeworth!? I
thought you were on his side.

PHOENIX:
We are, we are! Believe me, we didn’t want her testifying, either.

MAYA:
Wait... another witness? There was already a witness?

GUMSHOE:
Yeah, pal, people are lining up to put Mr. Edgeworth away, but none of ‘em know anything
about the victim. Now, as Mr. Edgeworth’s lawyers, I thought your job was to find the real killer,
not more witnesses!

PHOENIX:
Well... we’re not his defense team. Yet.

GUMSHOE:
But... but... no one is dumb enough to defend him but you and me! We’re all he’s got!

PHOENIX:
He doesn’t seem too happy to accept my help.

GUMSHOE:
Pal, you gotta understand, if Mr. Edgeworth doesn’t go free, then you disrupt the Gumshoe and
Edgeworth super team! A real workin’ relationship! Mr. Edgeworth isn’t just my associate, he’s
my friend, pal! And the one who signs my checks. If he’s in jail, who’s gonna sign ‘em for me?
Damon Gant? No way, I’m not goin’ back to him and his stare! … his cold... awful stare...

[GUMSHOE shudders. HE goes quiet and there is a silence, which is abruptly broken by a
GUMSHOE desk slam. PHOENIX is startled, and MAYA yelps and falls out of her chair]

GUMSHOE [CONT’D]:
Ya gotta help him, whatever it takes, and I’m gonna help you help him so that you can help him
help me... to help you to help him to help me to help... uh... you.

[Another awkward pause, as MAYA gets back up into her seat.]

GUMSHOE [CONT’D]:
Oh! I just remembered! I gotcha a copy of that autopsy report

[GUMSHOE takes the report out of an undisclosed pocket in his trench coat and puts it on the
desk.]

GUMSHOE [CONT’D]:
It’s got the cause of death, time of death, his picture, and even the victim’s shoe size!
[Frowns, slumped] We… just don’t know who he is.

MAYA:
Ooh! Lemme see!

[MAYA seizes the autopsy report and leafs through it, while GUMSHOE and PHOENIX get out
of their seats.]

PHOENIX:
Thanks for your help, Detective.

GUMSHOE:
No problem, pal, anything for a friend of Mr. Edgeworth.

PHOENIX:
Try getting him to admit that.

MAYA: [Tugging on Phoenix’s sleeve]

N... Nick?

PHOENIX:
What is it, Maya?

MAYA:
This guy. The one who died... I... remember him.

PHOENIX and GUMSHOE:

What!?

MAYA:
Yeah. He, um. He worked for Mr. Grossberg.

GUMSHOE:
Ack! Then what’re you still waitin’ around here, for!? Go! Question! Learn!

[GUMSHOE slings MAYA over HIS shoulder and pushes PHOENIX out the door, setting
MAYA down outside]
GUMSHOE (CONT’D):
For Mr. Edgeworth!

[GUMSHOE raises his fist in the air and runs back into the office]

MAYA:
Why don’t you have as much energy as Detective Gumshoe, Nick?

PHOENIX:
I used to, not too long ago.

MAYA:
What happened?

PHOENIX:
You.

[PHOENIX begins walking. MAYA is confused by the comment, but then it finally clicks. SHE
runs after HIM, yelling].

MAYA:
HEEEEY!

[Fade into GROSSBERG’S office, as lavish and grandiose as ever. GROSSBERG himself is
sipping a tall, cool glass of lemonade, alone. His intercom buzzes, and he answers it. His old
secretary has returned to reclaim her job.]

GROSSBERG:
Yes, Belinda?

SECRETARY:
Mr. Grossberg, a Mr. Wright here to see you.

GROSSBERG:
Wha– oh, no! I say, no, I’m far too busy. I have thirty prospective clients in the office right now
and there’s simply no room in here for another.

SECRETARY:
Mr. Grossberg... you haven’t had a client for a month.

[PHOENIX and MAYA are heard along with the secretary]

MAYA:
Hi, Mr. Grossberg! This is Maya Fey! Remember, the girl that you refused to defend?
PHOENIX:
Please, Mr. Grossberg; it’s really urgent that we see you now.

GROSSBERG:
I simply couldn’t, oh, no, it’s just too much right now, what with–

MAYA:
We’re coming in!

[Intercom shuts off]

GROSSBERG:
Ah, oh, goodness!

[GROSSBERG hurriedly pulls out some important looking papers and scatters them across his
desk. HE picks up his phone, dials no numbers, and begins talking just as PHOENIX and MAYA
walk through the door.]

GROSSBERG:
Ok, yes, I see! Buy, buy! No, no, sell, sell, sell! Yes, that strikes me as a mutual benefit for both
parties, fiscally. Way to think marginally! The perfect blend of efficiency and equity. We’ve
done it again, Neville. I shall have to call you back. Yes. Goodbye!

[GROSSBERG hangs up the phone, looks up at PHOENIX and MAYA and smiles]

GROSSBERG [CONT’D]:
Ah, I didn’t see you there. I wasn’t expecting you, what can I do for you two?

MAYA:
But we just talked to you... we told you we were com–

GROSSBERG:
Ah-hem! I say, you should really speak up, when you talk, Ms. Fey! Now, down to business.
What brings you here today, m’boy?

PHOENIX:
Mr. Grossberg, you’re acting awfully suspiciously. Do you happen to know anything about the
murder that took place last night?

GROSSBERG:
M-murder!? Jumping jehosephats, is that what all this is about!?

PHOENIX:
You mean... you really didn’t know?

GROSSBERG:
Heavens no, m’boy! I thought you wanted my autograph! Now, tell me everything!

PHOENIX:
Last night, at Gourd Lake, Miles Edgeworth allegedly shot a man with a pistol.

GROSSBERG:
E-Edgewoth!? Oh goodness, that won’t do at all! Who was the victim?

PHOENIX:
Well, that’s the problem. We don’t know.

MAYA:
We were hoping you might.

[MAYA hands GROSSBERG the folder. GROSSBERG leafs through its contents until HE finds
the picture of ROBERT HAMMOND. GROSSBERG squints, then mutters something
incoherent. The folder drops from HIS hands. HE takes a swig of HIS lemonade and wipes HIS
brow].

PHOENIX:
So... you do know him?

GROSSBERG:
An elusive figure, to be sure. I haven’t seen him for years... but that’s certainly him. Robert
Hammond, an old employee of mine.

PHOENIX:
Robert Hammond... Since you last saw him, about how many years would you say have passed?

GROSSBERG: [Stunned silence]

Did you say... “past”?

[Cue “The Scent of Fresh Lemons”]

PHOENIX:
What? Ah–no, no! Well, I mean, yes, technically but–

GROSSBERG: [sung]
Like the scent of fresh lemons...
The days of my youuuuuuuuth!

[spoken, as the music stops]

Yes. Yes! Eureka! The pieces are all coming together now! Robert Hammond... he was the
defense attorney in the DL-6 Incident.

PHOENIX:
DL-6? Sounds familiar…

GROSSBERG:
Surely you remember, m’boy? The incident where the police used a spirit medium!

MAYA:
Wait... was that spirit medium my mother?

GROSSBERG:
Yes. Misty Fey, your mother, contacted the victim in that case, but... it all went terribly awry. No
conviction could be made–the case has remained unsolved for 15 years. It was because of Mr.
Hammond’s defense that no sentence was laid down.

MAYA:
And then the police blamed my mother... But you helped her out, right Mr. Grossberg?

GROSSBERG:
Ah... yes. Yes, I most certainly did.

[PHOENIX raises an eyebrow, slightly. GROSSBERG feels incredibly guilty.]

MAYA:
So, what’s the connection?

GROSSBERG:
Those two men would be irremediably connected. For, you see... the victim in the case was none
other than Miles Edgeworth’s father, Gregory Edgeworth.

[PHOENIX’S jaw drops, MAYA gets worked up.]

MAYA:
No way! Edgeworth’s dad!?

GROSSBERG:
I fear I’ve overstepped my boundaries quite enough already. If you want to know more, you can
ask Miles himself.

[GROSSBERG is quiet for a moment, then HE pulls out a folder from HIS file cabinet. HE
opens the folder and pulls out a photograph. HE hands it to MAYA.]

GROSSBERG [CONT’D]:
Here, child. Show this picture to Edgeworth–he shan't deny you.

MAYA:
My... mother?
GROSSBERG:
Having given you this, you two are now bound to this case. We all agreed to keep the DL-6
incident behind walls. It was never solved, but none of us were ready to solve it. ...It seems those
very walls are crumbling before us. And it’s not afraid to swallow each one of us whole.

[Scene cuts out.

We cut into THE DETENTION CENTER. PHOENIX and MAYA enter. A moment later,
EDGEWORTH is ushered in by a SECURITY GUARD. HE looks more harried than before.]

EDGEWORTH:
Wright. I can’t say I’m surprised to see you back.

PHOENIX:
Edgeworth…what about your defense?

EDGEWORTH: [HIS defeated posture answers the question for us]

Please. Try to understand. I’m not doing this to prove that I’m tough, or because I look down on
you. I just don’t want you anywhere near this case.

PHOENIX:
Because it’s tied to the “DL-6 Incident?”

EDGEWORTH:
What?!

PHOENIX: [Holding up the photos of HAMMOND and MISTY in turn]

The victim was the defense attorney for that case. And the prosecution’s chief witnesses were
Misty Fey…

MAYA:
My mom…

PHOENIX:
And Miles Edgeworth, age nine.

EDGEWORTH:
It’s only been a few hours… and already you’ve made that connection.
[Smirk] Heh. You always were single-minded in your work, Wright.

PHOENIX:
So… you’ll talk to us?

EDGEWORTH:
I don’t see the point in hiding anything from you now. DL6 was… when my father died. He was
shot in front of me.
[EDGEWORTH forestalls PHOENIX and MAYA’S gestures of sympathy with a hand]

EDGEWORTH [CONT’D]:
I don’t remember very much about it anymore… I suppose it’s a defense mechanism. In any
case, a suspect was arrested—a court bailiff. It was pretty clear he was the only one who could
have killed my father. The… spirit medium they used to talk to my father said the same thing.
But in spite of all the evidence against him, Robert Hammond cleared the suspect’s name.

PHOENIX:
And the suspect?

EDGEWORTH:
He disappeared from the public eye shortly after the trial. If he were still alive, he’d be about
fifty now.

PHOENIX:
But it was Hammond who was killed on Gourd Lake.

EDGEWORTH:
Yes. Two days ago I received a letter from Hammond. He wanted to meet me at the lake on
Christmas Eve. I thought… at the time, I thought he wanted to make amends, so close to the
anniversary of the incident. Tying up loose ends, so to speak.

PHOENIX:
Loose ends?

EDGEWORTH:
The case’s statute of limitations runs out in three days—it’s been fifteen years since the incident
occurred.

MAYA:
Nick, what’s that mean?

PHOENIX:
It’s a rule that keeps cases from getting too old. Once the statute of limitations runs out, legally,
the case never happened.

EDGEWORTH:
Three days from now, DL6 would have been closed forever. It was foolish of me to think that it
could be that easy.

PHOENIX:
So… do you still think it would have been better if I’d stayed away?

EDGEWORTH:
I don’t know… but... Wright. It pains me to ask, but—

MAYA:
I know! You want him to defend you, right?

EDGEWORTH:
Yes.
[Hesitant, to PHOENIX] Will you?

[Rumbling noises]

MAYA:
What’s that?

[An earthquake begins in earnest as everyone hits the floor. The screen shakes, light fixtures
sway, plaster falls from the ceiling. After a moment, it calms down.]

PHOENIX:
Maya, are you okay?

MAYA:
Whew. That was a big one.
[SHE stands, offering PHOENIX a hand up] Were you scared, Nick?

PHOENIX: [Standing]
N-no! Of course not! It was just an earthquake, right Edgeworth?

[Silence. PHOENIX looks over the counter, where EDGEWORTH is still crouched on the floor.]

PHOENIX (CONT’D):
Edgeworth?

[The door on EDGEWORTH’S side bursts open, and GUMSHOE enters.]

GUMSHOE:
Mister Edgeworth!

[GUMSHOE crosses and crouches behind the counter, his arm around EDGEWORTH’S
shoulders.]

GUMSHOE (CONT’D):
Are you okay, pal?
[HE turns and barks at PHOENIX] What are you looking at?!

PHOENIX:
Is he alright, Detective Gumshoe?

EDGEWORTH: [Shuddering]
I’m f-f-fine.
[HE attempts to shoulder out of GUMSHOE’S hold] D-detective…

GUMSHOE:
Oh. Sorry sir.
[removes his arm] I brought the paperwork for your defense, if you and Mr. Wright are all set.

EDGEWORTH:
You knew?

GUMSHOE:
Well… I was hoping he’d come through for ya, sir.

EDGEWORTH:
Well. Wright?

PHOENIX:
Ah, who would have thought this day would come?

GUMSHOE: [Threatening]
Hey pal—

PHOENIX:
No, I mean…I finally get the chance to pay you back.

[Everyone looks quizzically at PHOENIX]

MAYA:
Pay him back?

EDGEWORTH:
For what? I’ve never done anything for you…

PHOENIX:
…Never mind. It’s no big deal.

MAYA:
Aaaaaw, come on! Spill!

GUMSHOE: [Interrupting]
But you’re gonna defend tomorrow, right pal?

PHOENIX:
Of course.

GUMSHOE:
Okay then. I’ll run this stuff down to the station. You two should go home and get some rest.

MAYA:
We’ll see you tomorrow, Detective!

GUMSHOE: [On his way out the door]

Good luck, pals!

[GUMSHOE exits. MAYA and PHOENIX prepare to leave.]

PHOENIX:
Edgeworth—

EDGEWORTH:
I’m fine, Wright. I’ll see you tomorrow.

PHOENIX:
Right. Tomorrow.

[Fade to black]

Week 7

[The next day, DEFENDANT’S LOBBY]

PHOENIX:
The prosecutor is someone named... Von Karma?

EDGEWORTH:
Wright, you can still back out of this trial.

PHEONIX:
And why would I do that?

EDGEWORTH:
You honestly haven't heard of him? You really are wet-behind-the-ears.

[PHOENIX is silent]

EDGEWORTH [CONT’D]:
He's the man who took me in when... when I had nowhere else to go. He provided me with
everything an aspiring attorney could need.
PHEONIX:
He helped raise you? This is perfect! Maybe he'll go easy on us.

EDGEWORTH:
Knowing that I am the defendant would not cause him to falter in his work. His record is
perfection. Wright, he's never lost once in his forty-year career.

PHOENIX:
Not ONCE?! He's won every single time?

EDGEWORTH:
Von Karma is a god among lawyers. He will do anything to win—anything.

PHOENIX:
Sounds like someone else I know.

[PHOENIX glares directly at EDGEWORTH]

EDGEWORTH:
He's the one who taught me to prosecute.

PHOENIX:
WHAT?!

EDGEWORTH:
Imagine a lawyer as vicious as me, and multiply it by a factor of ten. That is Manfred Von
karma. He made me what I am by forcing me to eat, drink, and sleep prosecution.

[We fade into a FLASHBACK. EDGEWORTH is a young teenager sitting at the dinner table,
being lectured by VON KARMA, whose face we do not see for the first half of this scene. We
only see VON KARMA’S body language and EDGEWORTH’S reactions.]

VON KARMA:
And when our court system reformed, the burden of proof was placed no longer on the
prosecution, but the defense. And with good cause. Can you imagine how many miserable
miscreants might have otherwise gone free?

TEEN EDGEWORTH: [Visibly upset]

But that...

VON KARMA:
Do you have a question?

TEEN EDGEWORTH:
But doesn't that also mean that there must be innocent men and women who have been found
guilty?
[Stands up] That is injustice! Everybody deserves to have a fair chance. These are people's lives
we're dealing with here! My father—... ... my father...

VON KARMA:
Your father was killed by one of the very criminals he was trying to protect.

[TEEN EDGEWORTH is silent]

VON KARMA: [Condescending, not fatherly]

My dear boy,

[VON KARMA bends down to be eye level to TEEN EDGEWORTH. This is the first time we
see VON KARMA’S face]

VON KARMA [CONT’D]:

as a prosecutor, my job is to make sure all those enemies of society are stopped. The only way I
can do that is to obtain a guilty verdict at every opportunity.

[Cue "Anything to Win."]

VON KARMA [CONT’D]:

I will not let a single sinner go free. I will do whatever is necessary to have those perversions of
humanity locked away.

[Sung]
I'm in charge of every trial
I'm always in full control
The judge merely has to smile
To say 'guilty' is his only role
I sustain my own objections
To win the courtroom war
None will interfere with my perfect guilty score

VON KARMA (LATIN CHORUS):

If justice is blind, then I will guide her (Justicia caeca, illa ducenda)
To declare everyone guilty (Peccare non potest)
I simply cannot err (Nunc damnamdum est)
To preserve my perfect record (Craeci pua fama)
I will do what I must (Mea conservanda)
No place in court for truth (Non), peace (Pax), order(Quies), or trust (Veritas, fides)
And perhaps some didn't do it (Etsi damnabitur)
Innocent they may have been (Reum insontem)
But my cases are all perfect, (Curabo ut semper triunfem)
And I'll do anything to win

[Scene blends from VON KARMA walking out of the room in the past, to VON KARMA
walking down the corridor in the present day. As he does so, we see people keeping well out of
his way. Maybe even a MEEKINS cameo.]

VON KARMA [CONT’D]:

I've not lost a case in all my years
I bring these pitiful lawyers to tears
In prosecution I have no peers
Manfred Von karma, perfection incarnate
Man is guilty and must pay for his sin
Against me, there is no chance to win
My perfect revenge has yet to begin
Don't cross Von karma, perfection incarnate

[The door to the court room slams open. VON KARMA marches in to an astonished-looking
PHOENIX and courtroom. VON KARMA moves smoothly to his desk]

JUDGE: [Spoken]
Court is now in session for the trial of Miles Edgeworth.

PHOENIX: [Spoken]
The defense is ready, Your Honor.

VON KARMA: [Silence]

JUDGE:
Well, it appears that the prosecution is not...

VON KARMA: [Spoken]

Silence! I was just taking a meaningful pause before speaking.

JUDGE:
I'm so sorry! Um... Do you have an opening statement?

VON KARMA:
Decisive evidence, a decisive witness...what else could possibly be required?

[Sung]
I'm perfectly prepared
To crush you in my hand
None have I ever spared
Try to save him if you can
But you will surely lose
There's nothing you can do
Your client is now doomed
He will not pull through
VON KARMA (LATIN CHORUS):
If justice is blind, then I will guide her (Justicia caeca, illa ducenda)
To declare everyone guilty (Peccare non potest)
I simply cannot err (Nunc damnamdun est)
To preserve my perfect record (Craeci pua fama)
I will do what I must (Mea conservanda)
No place in court for truth (Non), peace (Pax), order (Quies), or trust (Veritas, fides)
Miles Edgeworth may be innocent (Etsi damnabitur)
Of this one particular sin (Milesem insontem)
But my case against him is perfect
I'll do anything to win (Curabo ut semper triumfem)

[Music ends]

PHEONIX: [Aside to Maya]

You know, a visit from Mia might reeeeally help me out right now.

Maya:
... I'm .. I've been trying!!

VON KARMA: [Snaps, shushing MAYA and PHOENIX.]

The prosecution would reluctantly like to call its first witness, the so-called Detective, who was
most assuredly placed in charge arbitrarily: Dick Gumshoe.

[GUMSHOE walks up to the stand, slumping further with each one of VON KARMA’S verbal
jabs.]

GUMSHOE:
Um, sir, I-

VON KARMA: [Snaps again, viciously]

Describe the incident. NOW!

GUMSHOE: [Could be a chibi-ish version of GUMSHOE, or any different style to emphasize

his childlike sadness and/or humiliation.]
Yessir…

[The camera cuts to PHOENIX and MAYA]

PHOENIX:
Can I leave please?

MAYA:
We can’t just leave Edgeworth like that! … Unless I can use you as a human shield.

GUMSHOE: [Clearing his throat. Animation normal.]

Um…look at the uh…paper with the locations of things and places and stuff...

VON KARMA:
It’s a map. If you plan to stutter like this the entire time, I could just lower your pay now.

GUMSHOE:
Umm…the map…The murder happened on Christmas Eve, around midnight. There was one
boat in the middle of the lake, with two men in it. According to an eyewitness, one of the men
shot the other.

VON KARMA:
Indeed. Testify about the arrest, NOW!

JUDGE:
Um…Mr. von Karma, I’m supposed to deal with the proceedings. You know, like asking
witnesses to testify, adding evidence to the official record,
[A bit childishly] and banging my shiny gavel.

VON KARMA:
Poppycock! Yes, you are to bang your gavel, and then you are to pronounce a guilty verdict.
That is your only function and purpose in this trial.

PHOENIX:
HOLD IT! No, he’s supposed to—

[VON KARMA glares at PHOENIX, and PHOENIX shuts up and sits down.]

GUMSHOE:
So a guy calls the station at about half past midnight. So, we went to the crime scene as fast as
possible, where we found Mr. Edgeworth.

VON KARMA:
OBJECTION! … Defendants don’t have names. They are just defendants, who are to get guilty
verdicts and nothing more. Continue your testimony.

GUMSHOE:
Y-y-y-y-yes, sir… Now, I didn’t think he had done anything wrong, but when we found the body
washed up on the lake, we had to arrest Mr.—

[VON KARMA glare.]

GUMSHOE [CONT’D]:
…um, the defendant.

VON KARMA:
Acceptable, I suppose. Considering the sub par material I’m working with. You! Attorney!
Cross-examine the witness!

PHOENIX: [Looking around]

Me?

[MAYA punches PHOENIX’S shoulder or something.]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Alright…

[PHOENIX meekly approaches the bench.]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
So…um…

[PHOENIX sweats, possibly taking on one of Payne’s poses.]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
How fast did you get there?

GUMSHOE: About three minutes and 48 seconds, give or take about ...

[GUMSHOE pulls out a pocket watch]

GUMSHOE [CONT’D]:
two or three seconds.

PHOENIX:
Wow…umm…that’s very fast.

GUMSHOE:
You betcha, pal! Our motto this month is “Get there quickly!”

VON KARMA:
OBJECTION! This has no bearing on the case. Penalty! And witness, you will refrain from
revealing police department secrets, am I clear?

GUMSHOE:
Crystal sir…

VON KARMA:
I think a certain incompetent fool has just foolishly earned himself a fool’s pay in the next salary
review.

GUMSHOE: [Long sigh]

So much to look forward to…
VON KARMA: [VON KARMA snap]
Stop daydreaming!

GUMSHOE: [Loudly and fearfully]

YESSIR!

PHOENIX: [Gaining back a minute, insignificant amount of confidence]

HOLD IT! What was the state of Mr. Edgeworth when you found him?

GUMSHOE:
He was all relaxed and tough. Not like any murderer I know. In fact—

VON KARMA:
OBJECTION! How did you make detective again? You’d think with the many unfortunate years
you have been on the force, you would know to only supply cold, hard, facts, and not subjective
dribble!

PHOENIX:
OBJECTION! I think that as a detective, his intuition is as good as expert testimony!

MAYA:
Really!?

GUMSHOE:
Really!?

VON KARMA:
…Fine. One question, one statement. Go...

[PHOENIX hesitates from fear]

VON KARMA [CONT’D]:

NOW!

PHOENIX:
Yes sir! Um…why didn’t he seem suspicious to you?

GUMSHOE:
Like I told you earlier, pal! We have a deep, trusting relationship as co-workers!

VON KARMA:
“Deep, trusting relationship”? Indeed! In all my years, I haven’t heard such childish, naïve
comments from someone of your rank.

GUMSHOE:
Urk!

VON KARMA:
Attorney! Continue your cross examination immediately.

PHOENIX: [Getting fed up with taking orders]

Fine…Detective, what clues did you find on the body?

GUMSHOE:
A single bullet taken from his heart.

VON KARMA: [Dark grin.]

And here is the aforementioned bullet! It’s very well preserved, since it didn’t strike any bones.

PHOENIX: [Drawing blanks]

So…uh…why did you arrest my client?

GUMSHOE:
We found the murder weapon in the boat.

VON KARMA: [Gleefully, yet in an evil manner]

Testify further about this decisive evidence.

PHOENIX:
Decisive? How?

VON KARMA: [The first non-song appearance of the VON KARMA laugh!]

MAYA: [Hiding behind PHOENIX]

Eep! He laughs just like Edgeworth!

[EDGEWORTH casts MAYA a glare]

VON KARMA:
Out with it, Detective. Let’s not keep them waiting.

GUMSHOE: [Reluctant to answer]

The… The murder weapon had fingerprints from the defendant’s right hand.

[The crowd starts to chatter, and VON KARMA snaps his fingers.]

VON KARMA:
ORDER! I shall have order in my court!

JUDGE:
But Mr. von Karma—
VON KARMA: [Interrupts, knowing what the JUDGE is about to say.]
Wrong. This is my court, and I run it. Now, accept the pistol into evidence!

JUDGE:
Right away, sir!

VON KARMA:
Members of the court…we have a pistol, with the defendant’s fingerprints on them, and a bullet
found within the victim's corpse. Detective! What were the results?

GUMSHOE:
The bullet was fired from the pistol. We know this from the ballistic markings.

MAYA:
What are ballistic markings, Nick?

VON KARMA:
How disgraceful! The defense not knowing what ballistic markings are! Do they let just anyone
pass the bar nowadays?

GUMSHOE: [Smirking for once.]

Even I know what that is, pal!

JUDGE:
Well, its OK. Not everybody can pass the bar, Ms. Fey.

MAYA: B-but...!

[MAYA looks depressed, PHOENIX pats her back]

VON KARMA:
Very well…I shall remedy the ignorance of the defense team. I shall explain ballistic markings.
Actually—Judge! You can testify.

JUDGE:
Huh? ME!? …Alright…Ahem, ballistic markings are like fingerprints for guns. The barrel leaves
a distinctive mark on each bullet it fires. One can check the markings to see which gun fired a
bullet. It’s really quite accurate.

VON KARMA:
Which leads me to my point: The bullet was found in the victim’s heart. The bullet came from
this pistol. The pistol bears the defendant’s fingerprints!

[The crowd murmurs]

JUDGE: [Bangs his gavel]
ORDER! ORDER! This is very decisive evidence. In fact, I could almost declare a verdict now.
But…

VON KARMA: [A false concern in his voice, more that of enjoyment.]

I’m sure your honor would like to hear from my witness. Right, then. “Detective”, and I use that
term with the utmost sarcasm, you may leave the stand.

GUMSHOE:
B-but—

VON KARMA:
Leave, or I will have your badge to crush in my hand!

GUMSHOE:
Yes, sir!

[GUMSHOE bolts, possibly crying. The crowd starts to chatter once more.]

PHOENIX:
(Wait…something’s not right here….)

[FLASHBACK to THE DETENTION CENTER.]

EDGEWORTH:
I was…in a daze. I saw the pistol lying there, and picked it up. I don't know what I was thinking.

PHOENIX:
So, you were in the boat... and picked up a weapon that killed the guy!?

EDGEWORTH:
I didn’t kill him!

PHOENIX:
Well who did? I've never heard of a scuba-diving assassin before.

EDGEWORTH:
Don’t you think I know that? I just know I wasn’t the one to shoot him.

PHOENIX:
Weren’t you right there?

EDGEWORTH:
I told you, I don’t know! …It was dark, and I then heard a gunshot. He…fell…so I think he may
have shot himself.
PHOENIX:
So, you think it’s a suicide?

EDGEWORTH:
That’s the best I can come up with.

[End FLASHBACK.]

PHOENIX:
(I don’t know how I’m going to pull this off, but it’s the best shot I have!)

MAYA:
Nick…should I go? I don’t think anyone really needs me here.

PHOENIX:
Alright, later!

MAYA:
N-Nick!?

PHOENIX:
I was joking! You know, to cheer you up…

MAYA:
Well…It was a nice try, I guess…

PHOENIX:
Um…well, everyone has their off-days! I mean, look at me! I’ve just been getting lucky all these
times!

EDGEWORTH: [From his chair]

Wright! Don’t jinx this case more than it already is!

PHOENIX:
Urk!

JUDGE: [Slams gravel]

Mr. von Karma, please call your next witness.

VON KARMA:
With pleasure, your honor. Will Ms. Lotta Hart take the stand?

[LOTTA steps up to the witness stand with her hands on her hips with an excited smile on her
face]

PHOENIX:
(Doesn't she seem a little too excited for someone who just witnessed a murder?)

VON KARMA
Ms. Hart, you are a research student at a university, correct?

LOTTA:
Sure am!

VON KARMA:
And you were there observing meteor showers when the murder occurred, is that also correct?

LOTTA: [Grins wider]

Sure is!

[Cue “LOTTA THINGS”]

VON KARMA:
Good. Now, tell us what you saw the night of the murder. And don't add anything trivial or
unrelated to this case, understand?

LOTTA:
Ya'll need to loosen up. Yer so tense an' serious; This ain't a funeral!

PHOENIX:
It's close enough, isn't it? It's a murder tri—

LOTTA: [Cuts him off]

Ya'll need to learn some manners too! It's not polite to talk like that to a young lady!

VON KARMA:
I repeat; don't say ANYTHING trivial or not relating to this case. UNDERSTAND?

LOTTA: [Scared]
Y-yeah, yeah, I understand!

[Sung]
Ya'll listen up now, and listen good,
As what I'm 'bout to say is true;
'Cause what I saw was what happened,
And this is what that killer did do!

PHOENIX:
What she saw was what happened...

CROWD:
It's what the killer did do!
LOTTA:
I was campin' by the lake in my car that Christmas Eve,
I reckon it was past midnight when I heard,
A big bang! Pow! And I looked around,
Only to see the absurd!

Two gents in a boat, the only thing on the lake,

Not a nary thing around I could see,
There was another bang, and not a dang thang,
Coulda done what I saw there be

JUDGE: [Bangs his gavel, spoken]

Witness! You're saying you saw the murder take place?

LOTTA:
Sure did. Ya'll listen real good, now - I heard two dang gunshots that night.
When I heard the first one, I looked out at that boat. Then there was another bang and a flash,
and someone fell into the water.

[sung]
Lotta things happen in this crazy world of ours
Lotta things happen while a girl's out watchin' stars
Lotta things happen that are left unseen
Lotta things I saw.... have been!

PHOENIX: [spoken]
So... are you saying not everything you've seen is true?

LOTTA:
What?! Don't be ridiculous. I was just saying it for emphases. Ain't a girl allowed to
overexaggerate anymore?

PHOENIX:
I guess...?

VON KARMA:
Cease this idle chatter!

[sung]
Judge, this witness brings forth a brave claim,
There should be no doubt for this case that remains,
This photo taken shows how, the defendants guilt is a sure vow,
So add this as evidence in the court record— NOW!

JUDGE: [Trembling]
Eek! Um, o-ok...

VON KARMA
The man in the boat with the victim must've been the one who shot him...
If what the witness has testified is true...
[Snaps fingers] It was the defendant, Miles Edgeworth!

PHOENIX:
But the photograph itself isn't very clear—!

[The crowd murmurs in the background.]

VON KARMA:
Judge! Render an immediate verdict!

JUDGE: [sung]
The evidence shown here is very decisive,
I am afraid with what you say I must agree,
Though it pains me to say it,
This court finds the defendant--

PHOENIX: [spoken]
OBJECTION!

JUDGE:
M-Mr. Wright?

PHOENIX: [sung]
This witness is clearly lying!
It couldn't have been that way,
For you see, it was not Christmas Eve,
It was Christmas Day! HA!

CROWD:
It was not Christmas Eve, but rather Christmas Day...?

PHOENIX:
Yes, that is exactly what I'm trying to say!

MAYA: [whispering, spoken]

Nick, do you really think that matters?

PHOENIX: [whispers back]

I'm stalling for time until I can figure out some actual contradictions. Help me out here!

MAYA
Oh! Um [ahem] ok!

[sung]
Um, the witness is not clarifying,
Why she was even there that night,
What kind of research brought you
to that lake at midnight?

LOTTA: [spoken]
Well, it was... it was some important university research!
Like I said, I was watching the stars. And uh, meteor showers.

MAYA:
Oh, come on!

LOTTA: [Sighs]
Do I gotta repeat myself?

[sung]
Lotta things happen in this crazy world of ours
Lotta things happen while a girl's out watchin' stars
Lotta things happen that are left unseen
Lotta things I saw.... have been!

Now I'm gettin' dirty looks,

Ya'll sure are a mistrustful bunch!

PHOENIX:
I don't know why you were there,
but I think I've got a hunch!

VON KARMA: [spoken]

They found no worthy contradictions in the testimony. Their protests were completely
meaningless; Judge, I believe we have heard everything we needed to hear.

JUDGE:
Very well... Mr.Wright, I will have to penalize any further outbursts... by holding you in
contempt of court.

PHOENIX:
N-no... There is something fishy about her testimony, I know there is!

MAYA: [Looking sadly at PHOENIX]

Nick...

JUDGE:
I believe we have heard everything we have needed to hear. I shall now render a verdict.
Mr. Edgworth, please take the sta-

MAYA:
HOLD IT!

JUDGE:
Who, what, where, who-?! W-who was that?

MAYA:
It... was me.

PHOENIX:
Maya, what're you--

[EDGEWORTH gapes with his mouth wide open]

JUDGE:
Oh, do you need to use the restroom?

MAYA:
No... no I do not!

[Slams desk angrily, sung]

Lotta, your testimony's real strange,
Did you really happen to see Mr. Edgeworth at that range?
You're being unclear about what you saw,
You're being doubtful to this court of law,
Your testimony is full of these flaws,
Did you see Mr. Edgeworth at all?!

VON KARMA: [spoken]

OBJECTION!

LOTTA:
I-I-I... I can't believe I'm being treated like a criminal here!
I saw him! I saw Edgeworth...

VON KARMA:
SILENCE!

JUDGE:
This court does not recognize the defenses' sudden outburst. You will stand down, Miss Fey!

VON KARMA:
Enough of this nonsense! Judge, declare the defense in contempt of court! NOW!
PHOENIX:
B-but...

JUDGE:
Very well. You have been warned... Bailiff, please remove Mr. Wright from the courtroom.

MAYA:
No, wait! Please, it was me who spoke out! Nick didn't do anything!

EDGEWORTH: [Watching everything happen, lip slightly quivering]

M-Ms.Fey...

PHOENIX:
Maya, don't--!

MAYA: [sung]
Don't worry Nick, you will find a way,
To turn around the trial and save the day!
Remember Phoenix to be strong and brave,
Even when things get tough and grave!

[Spoken]
Nick, you remember what she said, don't you? She said she clearly saw Edgeworth... she never
said that before! That must be something you can use to your advantage!

[MAYA is taken away. PHOENIX looks sad, until a spark of realization hits him]

PHOENIX:
Wait... she’s right!

[sung]
Your Honor,
The witness has just said,
Something she hadn’t said before—
She clearly saw him, and the court being dim, of this very fact,
Gives me the right to cross-examine her more!
[spoken] TAKE THAT!

VON KARMA:
That’s ludicrous! Judge, continue with your guilty verdict!

JUDGE:
…I’m sorry Mr. Von Karma, but I can’t do that.

VON KARMA:
W-what?!

JUDGE:
The witness has shared this new statement with us, and thus he does have the right to question
her again.

VON KARMA:
Nonsense!

PHOENIX:
If I may quote the witness;

[PHOENIX/LOTTA sing, LOTTA’S voice being the previous statement PHOENIX is quoting]

Lotta things happen in this crazy world of ours

Lotta things happen while a girl's out watchin' stars
Lotta things happen that are left unseen
Lotta things she/I saw.... have been!

What if in fact she was not looking at stars,

And things she has ‘seen’ from her car,
Have never been heard of or seen?
What if they never have been?

CROWD: [Repeats, at first quiet but slowly becomes louder]

What if in fact she was not looking at stars,
And things she has ‘seen’ from her car,
Have never been heard of or seen?
What if they never have been?

What if she is lying?

What if the things she’s said aren’t true?

LOTTA:
But I’m tellin’ you--!

CROWD:
Lotta things she said might have not—have--

LOTTA:
Argh!

CROWD/PHOENIX:
Be~en!

[Music ends]
PHOENIX:
Ms. Hart. You claim you saw Edgeworth's face. I don't see how this is possible. The lake is
foggy in this photo and it was taken from quite a distance away.

LOTTA:
I had my binoculars out! That's how. I was stargazin' after all. Them suckers could find the nose
hairs on the man in the moon.

PHOENIX:
So you already had your binoculars at hand.

[PHOENIX sweats. He begins half talking to himself, pantomiming LOTTA’S actions as he

imagines them so he can walk himself through it again]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
You set your camera to take the photos,

[PHOENIX kneels and clicks an imaginary button]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
and got back in your SUV.

[PHOENIX sits down at his seat and closes an imaginary car door].

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
You got out of your car when you heard the gunshot,

[PHOENIX stands up]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
and wanted to see what your camera was taking a photo of. So you held up your trusty star-gazin'
binoculars

[PHOENIX pantomimes holding up binoculars]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
and—
[suddenly dawns on him] ... ... star-gazing, huh?

[During this, EDGEWORTH has had his head in his hands]

VON KARMA:
This court will not allow you to waste our time repeating the witness testimony! There are no
contradictions. Judge! Her testimony is perfectly clear.
PHOENIX:
Witness! Why was your camera set to take photos of the lake?

LOTTA:
I needed it fer my research. I already toldja, Spikey!

PHOENIX:
You were observing the stars at the surface of Gourd Lake?

[VON KARMA clenches his fist on his arm]

LOTTA:
Well ya see, hur hur... about that.. I--

VON KARMA:
I will not allow you to badger my witness based on her limited intellect! This line of questioning
is irrelevant.

LOTTA:
Limited WHAT?!

PHOENIX:
I think not. Being a key witness at the murder scene, I believe Lotta Hart's intentions that night
are incredibly important to this case. The camera itself may even be the crucial key to solving
this!

EDGEWORTH: [Aside]
You're taking this too far again, Wright. Bluffing isn't going to help us now.

PHOENIX: [Ignoring EDGEWORTH]

Not only were you looking at the lake, your camera was set up to take photos of the lake. What
were you doing there that night, Witness?!

LOTTA:
I'm not gonna tellya ag'in. I was takin' PHOTOS, as you can see from the PHOTOS I TOOK.
NOW who's the slow one here?

PHOENIX: [Glancing down at briefcase]

Ah. Now I see.

LOTTA:
FINALLY!

PHOENIX:
You were there to photograph Gourdy.
[PHOENIX holds up the newspaper. Every face in the courtroom (save VON KARMA’S) turns
to LOTTA with a cocked eyebrow]

LOTTA: [Looking around nervously]

... fine. I was there to catch a scoop. I'm an investigative photojournalist. I knew I would be one
from the time I saw my first yoofoh.

JUDGE:
Yoofoh?

LOTTA:
An unidentified flying object, ya ignorant piece a—

VON KARMA:
And again we return to the fact that what the witness was doing there that night is irrelevant. She
saw what she saw, and the photograph is irrefutable. The gun bears the fingerprints of Miles
Edgeworth's right hand and a witness saw him at the scene.

LOTTA:
Tha's right! AND I got more proof.

VON KARMA:
No you don't. I told you there was no more evidence to present after that last photograph.

LOTTA:
Yessir. I enlarged my photo so you can see exactly what I saw.

[LOTTA holds up her enlarged photo]

LOTTA [CONT’D]:
AND you can see the two men clearly in this shot.

JUDGE:
Well, present this now! This could be crucial.

PHOENIX: [Examines the picture for a moment]

Two men in a boat. One holds a gun.

[Full view of the photo]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
But I see no faces.

[PHOENIX hands the photo to EDGEWORTH, who takes it in his right hand]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]: [Aside]

You were on this boat that night?

EDGEWORTH: [Aside]
I was. But believe me when I say I did not shoot that gun.

[EDGEWORTH holds up the photo toward PHOENIX, who stares at EDGEWORTH’S right
hand for a moment and smirks before taking back the photo]

EDGEWORTH [CONT’D]:
There's that cocky grin again. You need to stop being so obvious.

VON KARMA:
This photo shows us nothing that we didn't already know. I demand that excessive evidence be
stricken from my perfect trial.

PHOENIX:
OBJECTION! You know this photo is far from worthless. Look at it again, von Karma. Remind
me: fingerprints from which of my defendant's hands were found on the weapon?

VON KARMA:
Lawyers do not question other lawyers in the middle of court, Mr. Wright. Address the witness,
and learn your protocol.

PHOENIX: [Unfazed]
Ms. Hart, this man is holding the gun with which hand?

LOTTA:
The left, of course. I can tell my left from right. Dang lawyer.

JUDGE:
The left hand? But wasn't it the defendant's right hand fingerprints that were found on the
weapon?

VON KARMA:
Indeed, but the autopsy shows that the body was shot from at least a meter away.

JUDGE:
A meter?! Why, that's about three feet. One might even say ...
[Stops to think] thirty-six inches!

VON KARMA:
Meaning the wound was not self-inflicted. Ergo, the only person who could have shot Robert
Hammond is the other person in this photo.

[The courtroom begins to murmur]

JUDGE:
Order, order! This is an important contradiction. On one hand, the photo shows the murderer
aiming with his left hand while Miles Edgeworth is right-handed. However, this could not be a
suicide as the gun was shot from at least a meter away. Please continue your investigations and
present your findings here again tomorrow. Court is adjourned.

[The JUDGE bangs his gavel.]

EDGEWORTH:
Wright. Tell that friend of yours she needs to be more careful in court. That was a stupid and
risky thing she did.

[EDGEWORTH is escorted away. PHOENIX glares after him.

THE DETENTION CENTER

MAYA sits behind the glass, fingering her prayer beads, possibly trying to channel. PHOENIX
enters through the visitor’s door, and SHE immediately stands, concerned.]

MAYA:
Nick! Did Mr. Edgeworth make it through the day?

PHOENIX:
Yeah, thanks to you.

[MAYA sits with a relieved sigh.]

PHOENIX:
Maya… you have to promise me you won’t do that again. Next time we could both be thrown
out.

MAYA:
I…
[Serious MAYA] I know. I just…had to do something, even if I’m not a lawyer. Or if I can’t
channel Sis.

PHOENIX: [Sympathetic]
Still no luck?

MAYA:
Nothing at all…
[Brightening] But I’ll be okay now that you’ve come to bail me out!

PHOENIX:
Huh?

MAYA:
Nick! You aren’t going to leave me here, are you?!

PHOENIX:
N-no! Of course not! I just…hadn’t really thought about where we’re going to get bail money.

MAYA:
Oh…

GUMSHOE: [Bursting through the visitor’s door this time]

WHOA PAL! What are you two still doing here? There’s no time! Go! Investigate!

[GUMSHOE turns PHOENIX towards the door]

PHOENIX:
W-wait! I haven’t paid Maya’s bail yet!

GUMSHOE:
Huh? You didn’t know? Mr. Edgeworth already posted the entire amount!

MAYA:
What? Really?!

GUMSHOE:
Of course! He was really touched by what you did, getting dragged out of the courtroom by the
bailiff and all! But now you’ve gotta move—Prosecutor von Karma’s got another witness lined
up for tomorrow. You won’t get away with any more crazy stunts like you did today!

PHOENIX:
Who’s the witness?

GUMSHOE:
I…I can’t really say, pal. I’m breaking all kinds of department rules already… Look, I’ve gotta
talk to Mr. Edgeworth right now, but if you stop by the station there’s a transcript of that crazy
lady’s testimony waiting for you.

MAYA:
You mean Lotta?

GUMSHOE:
Yeah, whatever her name was. Good luck with her!

[GUMSHOE makes as if to exit]

PHOENIX:
Detective!
GUMSHOE: [Sticking his head back through the door]
Yeah?

PHOENIX:
Tell Edgeworth thanks. For both of us.

GUMSHOE:
Sure thing, pal!

[GUMSHOE exits with a sloppy police salute]

MAYA:
Well come on, Nick! Let’s blow this joint!

[THE POLICE STATION

PHOENIX and MAYA stand by Gumshoe’s desk, which is as cluttered as before.]

MAYA: [Flipping through a file]

So this is Lotta’s testimony?

PHOENIX:
I guess so.

MAYA: [With bad accent]

“I heard two dang gunshots that night?” That’s all? Do you think Detective Gumshoe lost part of
it?

PHOENIX:
For once, I don’t think so. Most of it was made up, after all.

LOTTA: [Sticking her head over MAYA’S shoulder]

You callin’ me a liar?

MAYA:
Eeep! Lotta!

[MAYA hides behind PHOENIX]

PHOENIX:
Ah, well, not so much a liar per se…

LOTTA:
Naw, really, I understand. I did some thinkin’ after the trial today. Bein’ a witness is a real big
responsibility. You can’t just go off sayin’ whatever fool thing comes to mind! So I’ve decided
to be more careful ‘bout what I say I saw.
MAYA: [Reappearing from behind Phoenix’s back]
Good for you!

LOTTA:
Yup! I’ve definitely learned my lesson! From now on, I’m completely on the side of truth and
justice! So to make it up to y’all, I overheard some cops talkin’ ‘bout the trial for tomorrow, and
I’ve got some information I’m willin’ to share—

PHOENIX: Really? Well that’s

[Awkwardly attempting a Southern accent], er, “mighty kind” of you…

LOTTA: [Evil grin]

—for a price.

MAYA:
What?! Lotta! That’s no fair!

LOTTA:
Hey, a gal’s gotta make a livin’!

MAYA:
But what about truth and justice!?

[MAYA and LOTTA glare at each other. PHOENIX looks at MAYA, making the bail money
connection]

PHOENIX:
...How much?

MAYA:
Nick! You can’t give in so easily!

PHOENIX: [To Lotta]

I don’t have a lot, but I’ll pay—

LOTTA:
Pay?! Who said anythin’ ‘bout payin’? The only fair trade for information is information! I want
you city slickers to wrangle me a scoop in exchange for my hot tip!

MAYA:
A scoop?

PHOENIX:
What kind of scoop?
LOTTA:
On Gourdy, o’course! You show me a lake monster, I’ll show you where the cops've been all
mornin'!

PHOENIX:
But Gourdy doesn’t exist—

LOTTA:
Blasphemy! I won’t believe it without solid proof! Cold, objective facts!

[LOTTA snaps her fingers, VON KARMA style. PHOENIX and MAYA cringe]

PHOENIX:
Alright, alright. If we find anything, we’ll let you know.

LOTTA:
That’s the spirit! Believe in yer inner Gourdy!

[LOTTA exits happily]

MAYA: [Waving after her]

We will, Lotta!

PHOENIX:
Alright. So now let’s concentrate on finding some other leads…

MAYA:
You mean we’re not going to look for Gourdy?

PHOENIX:
Remember what Detective Gumshoe said? We don’t have time to waste on a monster hunt.

MAYA:
But this is for Edgeworth! Come on, Nick—

GUMSHOE: [Offscreen]
There’s got to be more evidence than that! Come on, check the file again!

[MAYA and PHOENIX, surprised, turn to see GUMSHOE scolding MEEKINS]

MEEKINS:
I’m sorry sir, but it’s only Mr. Edgeworth’s fingerprints on the gun…

GUMSHOE:
Well, what about that photograph, huh?! It looks nothing like him!
MEEKINS:
But we’ve triple-analyzed the crime-scene, sir…and Mr. Edgeworth’s already admitted he was
the only other person in that boat…

GUMSHOE:
Ah, get outta my face, you’re botherin’ me.

[MEEKINS scampers away.]

GUMSHOE [CONT’D]:
Peh. Recruits.

[GUMSHOE notices PHOENIX and MAYA staring at him].

GUMSHOE [CONT’D]:
Oh. Hey pals. Sorry you had to see that.

PHOENIX:
I take it the investigation isn’t going well?

GUMSHOE:
Other way around, pal. It’s going too well. Everyone’s so convinced that Mr. Edgeworth did it,
they’re about ready to drop the investigation! And after all he’s done for us! It just makes my
blood boil!

PHOENIX:
Oh! Detective!

GUMSHOE: [Still seething]

What?!

PHOENIX:
I wanted to ask you after that quake yesterday—is Edgeworth afraid of earthquakes? They never
bothered him when we were kids…

GUMSHOE:
Well… Mr. Edgeworth doesn't talk about himself too much, see. But there's one thing that's clear
as day… Him hating crime the way he does, and him becoming a lawyer, and him being scared
of earthquakes? It all started with that incident.

PHOENIX:
DL-6?

GUMSHOE:
Exactly, pal! It’s all connected! Mr. Edgeworth saw his dad shot right in front of him! There’s no
way he’d ever point a gun at anyone. That’s why I can’t believe what the Chief and everyone
else are saying. I mean, it’s like no one’s even thinking! Can you imagine a detective who didn’t
take the time to think before making an arrest?

[Silence. PHOENIX coughs lightly. Cue “A Guy You Can Trust”]

GUMSHOE [CONT’D]: Look, pal, I know I may not be the greatest detective on the force,
but…I’ve made up my mind. Forget Chief Gant. Forget department protocols. Sometimes a
guy’s just got to take a stand.

GUMSHOE: [Sung]
I consider myself to be a real man's man
The kinda guy who won't back down from a fight
I keep this city clean, pal, and I live like a king
...Though I eat ramen noodles every night.
But despite my gruff exterior, I know I ain't superior
My skills at solving crimes can sometimes rust...
So I'm swallowing my pride, this time I'm on your side,
and I'm the kinda guy that you can trust!

Well, I know we've butted heads before, startin' with the

case of Harry Butz
(PHOENIX: That's Larry)
And if the chief catches me helpin' you,
he'll probably think I'm nuts
(PHOENIX: If he doesn't already)
But see, pal, this is different from the Redd White trial
back in May
(PHOENIX: September)
'Cause I'm sure Mr. Edgeworth is innocent, unlike the client
you had that day!

MAYA: [spoken]
Hey, that was me!

GUMSHOE:
Oh. Sorry, pal.

[sung]
So if you need help, just call me and
I'll be there in a flash!
And to show you that we're pals now, I'll
lend you anything that ain't cash!

MAYA:
Oh thank you, kind detective! Von Karma will eat our
dust!
GUMSHOE:
We'll find the lies, now I'm the kinda guy that you can
trust!

[spoken]
I'm serious, pal! If there's anything I can do to help get Mr.
Edgeworth declared "Not Guilty," I'm all ears! We're a team
now, see! I don't care if it gets me another salary cut.

PHOENIX:
Well, considering the past couple of cases where you
happened to make things worse for the defendants, it'd
probably be best if you didn't interf—

MAYA:
Nick! Detective Gumshoe is putting his job on the line for
us; the least we can do is take advantage of his sudden
kindly nature!

GUMSHOE:
Yeah, pal!

MAYA:
Detective, any chance you could help us find Gourdy
somehow?

GUMSHOE:
You bet! I've got three secret weapons, listen up and
take your pick.

[Sung]
First up, shake hands with our department's
best evidence-seeking tool.
(MAYA: Aw, cute!)
This pooch is so advanced it makes me look like
a bumbling fool!
(PHOENIX: Imagine that.)
I found him in the gutter, on a sad, cold winter's night
He's my pal, though he gives the hand that feeds him quite
a bite.
(MAYA: Wait, he bites?)
You can call him Missile, he'll find any drugs or clues
you need.

PHOENIX:
Well, he should come in handy if the Gourd Lake
Monster's been smoking weed.

GUMSHOE:
Hey! No need for sarcasm, Missile's helped with many a
bust.
And if you feed him, he's the kinda guy that you can
trust!

The second here's this fishing pole and my

fondest memory
of a fishing trip I got to take
with Maggey, a cute trainee!

PHOENIX:
Hold it!
We can't catch Gourdy with that!
And we can't sit around and just wait!
(MAYA: Why not?)

GUMSHOE:
You'll only know if you try!
You just need the right kind of bait!

PHOENIX:
Like... Missile?

GUMSHOE/MAYA:
"What!? Nick!" "Don't make me put you under arrest, pal!"

PHOENIX:
Sorry, sorry!

GUMSHOE:
I've saved the best for last, this metal detector's real intense!
Last month this baby even found me twenty-five whole cents!

PHOENIX:
We're looking for a monster, not change from someone's
pants.

GUMSHOE:
Well, you never know, pal, it may have been eating soda
cans!

So that's what I can lend you, my loyal lawyer chums!

MAYA:
Oh wow, they're all so perfect!

PHOENIX:
Um yeah, I can't pick just one...ugh.

GUMSHOE:
Now go help Mr. Edgeworth! To free him is a must!
And I'm the kinda guy that you can trust.

[As the song concludes, PHOENIX and MAYA take one tool at a time. Begin musical interlude
of silliness.
We see PHOENIX walking MISSILE to the Samurai Dogs and eating all of them. PHOENIX
returns MISSILE in exchange for the fishing pole.
We see PHOENIX and MAYA casting repeatedly and pulling up and increasingly large pile of
useless junk (boots, aluminum cans, Steel Samurai merchandise, etc.) before MAYA casts and
catches the hook on one of PHOENIS’S spikes as she flings it backwards. MAYA pulls harder
and they both topple on top of each other in a large squiggly-eyed mess. PHOENIX returns the
fishing pole looking extremely exasperated as GUMSHOE pulls a metal detector, seemingly out
of nowhere.
End musical interlude.

Fade to PHOENIX walking through the park at Gourd Lake, while MAYA follows him
frenetically, dashing back and forth and side to side to examine anything she can with the metal
detector. MAYA then decides to stop in front of PHOENIX and put the metal detector up to his
face. No response.]

MAYA
You need more iron in your diet.

[PHOENIX is not amused.]

MAYA [CONT’D]:
Get it? Get it?

[HE doesn’t]

MAYA [CONT’D]:
Aw, come on Nick, lighten up!

PHOENIX: [Clearly disgruntled, with frizzled hair, wet shoes, etc.]

Maya, today’s just been a disaster. We've been all over this crime scene with these useless tools.
And you’re not helping, either. Maya, using a metal detector on an actual person WILL. NOT.

[MAYA lowers metal detector]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
help us at all in this case.

[MAYA raises metal detector slightly, with a goofy grin]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Ever.

[MAYA puts it back down]

MAYA:
...Gosh, Nick. Fine.

[MAYA starts to sulk, letting the metal detector drag on the ground behind her. They continue
walking until they fall under the cast of a large shadow.]

PHOENIX:
Oh, what now... is it going to rain? That would just be the perfect end to the perfect...

[PHOENIX looks up to see a giant Steel Samurai.]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
What is that thing!?

MAYA:
Gah, Nick! Don’t move! It’s the Mega-Samurai from the Negative Zone! He has all the power of
the Steel Samurai, just a lot bigger!

PHOENIX:
Who would put up something so tacky?

LARRY: [Calling from his stand and running toward the duo]
Hey, guys!

[PHOENIX cups his eyes and squints. He sees LARRY].

PHOENIX:
Of course. Other way, Maya. Keep searching.

[PHOENIX pushes MAYA in the other direction. LARRY runs up to them, they walk and talk.]

LARRY:
Hey, wait up!! I guess you guys have met the Mega-Samurai? He’s really been attracting
business. It was Kiyance’s idea, she’s like a genius. Oh! It was her idea to hang up these flags,
too! For diversity, you know? Can’t discriminate when you’re selling Samurai Dogs. ‘Cause this
is America, where the streets are lined with hot dogs! And speaking of hot dogs... I was spending
Christmas Eve with Kiyance, eating our special Christmas sausage!

[LARRY winks]

PHOENIX:
What thing... wait, weren't you were there the night of the murder!?

LARRY:
What–no–yes–I mean–well... Nope. I was with Kiyance. We were doing what we do best.

PHOENIX:
Larry!

LARRY:
What? We were watching the X-Games. She’s really into extreme sports. You know, she likes to
rock climb and all that, mountain bike, yada yada yada.

PHOENIX:
I thought she was a hairdresser.

LARRY: [Butz thumbs-up]

You shouldn’t judge things based on narrow-minded cultural assumptions.

[MAYA and PHOENIX share a glance. MAYA goes off into a bush with the metal detector.]

PHOENIX
Look, Larry, if you don’t have anything to do with the investigation, I don’t have time to talk to
you.

[While PHOENIX says “Sorry”, the metal detector goes off]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Sorry–

LARRY:
Yeow! What is that!?

PHOENIX:
Forget about it. She probably found another bottle cap. We already found seven... and a quarter.

LARRY:
Ooh, big spender. But, come on, Nick! Even if I don’t have anything to do with the scene, can’t
we hang out? Like pals?

MAYA:
Niiiiiiick!

[MAYA runs up carrying the air tank]

MAYA [CONT’D]:
Look what I found!

[MAYA hands the air tank to PHOENIX]

PHOENIX:
Huh.

LARRY:
Well, it’s like you were saying, if I don’t have anything to do with the case, I’d better go–

PHOENIX:
HOLD IT! Larry, you’ve got some ‘splainin to do!

LARRY:
You can’t prove that.

[Maybe use a psychelock gag here? Maybe not]

PHOENIX:
The tank doesn’t, but this string of flags around it sure point to you.

LARRY:
Now, wait, no, what would I need a string of flags for! They’re everywhere, elementary schools,
used car dealerships, uh... uh... United Nations hearings... you can’t link it to me!

PHOENIX:
Sure I can. It even says right here, “For the use of... Large Steel Samurais”.

LARRY:
Oh... God, Nick! I LIED! I lied about Kiyance and I lied about everything! She dumped me,
man! It was a week ago when it happened... I tried to blow up the Steel Samurai she got me and
it EXPLODED! It was horrible!! The sound was like the gun shot that murdered the purity of our
love. She dumped me... and now all I have left of her is the Steel Samurai that flew into the lake.

PHOENIX:
It was ... a loud sound like a... gunshot?

LARRY:
So, yeah, caught me red-handed, bro. I was out on the lake looking for the lost remnants of our
love. But I didn't kill anybody, it wasn't me!
PHOENIX:
Larry!

[LARRY holds up his arms in defense, as if PHOENIX is about to accuse him]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
You’ve just helped us more than you or I could have ever imagined!

[PHOENIX hugs LARRY]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Finally, something going my way!

LARRY:
So you want to go back for some Samurai Dogs?

PHOENIX:
I can’t believe I’m saying it, but yes, I’d love one.

[Cut to, by the lake. PHOENIX and MAYA approach LOTTA. LOTTA is chomping down on a
hotdog as they get closer]

LOTTA:
Well howdy y’all! ‘Scuse me, just enjoyin’ a little ol’ fashioned American home-cooking! You
got my info yet?

MAYA: [Stares ravenously]

Oooh, hot dog!

[MAYA reaches for the hot dog]

PHOENIX:
Yes we do, Lotta.
[Aside, to Maya] Down, girl, down!

LOTTA:
Alrighty then. Well, whatcha waitin’ fer? Where’s my Gourdy?

MAYA: [Aside]
But what about my multiple stomachs?

PHOENIX: [Shakes his head]

There is no Gourdy.

LOTTA:
Whaaaaaat? Ain’t no way, ain’t no how! I gotta photo, right here!
PHOENIX:
That photo can be explained rather easily. Where’d you get that hot-dog?

LOTTA:
I made it myself! Why I- [Stops self in middle of tall tale]
Well, I guess I can’t get anything past you mister att-urney. I bought ‘em from this stand.

PHOENIX:
Was it samurai-themed?

LOTTA:
Well I dunno what yer “Sammy-Rye” is, does that stand look like the kinda place I’d stay aroun’
long after gettin’ my vittles? It gave me the hebie jeebies!

[LOTTA puts down her hot dog]

PHOENIX:
If you’d stayed longer, you might have seen a big inflatable Samurai. My friend Larry set that
up. But you see, he’s not too good at setting things up.
[New thought] Actually, he’s not that good at anything. So this Samurai didn’t stay up for long.
The valve blew with a big bang-

LOTTA: [Catching on]

A bang…

[MAYA picks up the hot dog and starts eating it]

PHOENIX: [Continuing]
And the air tank flew into the lake, with the shreds of the Samurai trailing behind it.

[PHOENIX shows a defeated LOTTA the picture.]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
If you look closely, you can see it clearly. TAKE THAT! There’s your Gourdy!

LOTTA: [We see in her face that she realizes this truth is irrefutable]
Well fine. Dagnabit, if y’all haven’t just destroyed my whole dagblame scoop! [Sighs] I guess
he’s not real after all.

MAYA: [Opens mouth with hot dog hanging out]

Whaa—?

PHOENIX:
Now, about your information…
LOTTA:
Well a’ course! D’you think a country gal’d go back on her word? [Beat] I dun heard that there
was another person who saw this all. He’s the caretaker of the boat rental shop, just some old
feller who lives on his lonesome. You should be able to go talk to him. And that’s not all.
[Dramatic pause; she knows how important this is] My camera took another photo on the night
of the murder

PHOENIX: [Floored]
ANOTHER photo?

LOTTA:
Yessir! Here, you can have it!
[LOTTA pulls out a folded up photo. We see PHOENIX’s view]

LOTTA [CONT’D]:
But it ain’t worth nary a cent. Nope, it’s just a picture of the lake all quiet and still like.

[PHOENIX puts the photo down and we see LOTTA’s face]

LOTTA [CONT’D]:
Well, that’s all I know. Y’all take care! I gotta get a-goin’!

PHOENIX:
Thank you Lotta! This may be very important.
[To MAYA] Alright, I think I know where we need to go next. [Silence] Maya, you’ve been
awfully quiet.

[PHOENIX turns and sees MAYA, holding the old photo of “Gourdy”, looking comically tragic,
maybe even tearing up]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Maya?!

MAYA:
I just… can’t believe he’s not real. I feel like someone just told me Santa Claus isn’t real or the
tooth fairy or Boogeyman!

[PHOENIX considers a bewildered or snarky comment, even opens his mouth to speak but
thinks better of it. Scene end]

Week 8

[Fade in. PHOENIX and MAYA enter the BOAT SHOP]

MAYA:
Hello? Anyone here?
YOGI:
Meg! That you? Is Keith with you?

[Both PHOENIX and MAYA take a step back]

YOGI [CONT’D]:
Where have you been? I’ve been worried sick!

PHOENIX:
Uh…sir?

YOGI:
Have you finally decided to run the family pasta shop? I’m so proud!

PHOENIX:
Pasta Shop?

YOGI:
The “Wet Noodle”

POLLY:
“Wet Noodle” “Wet Noodle”

MAYA:
Whoa!

[MAYA walks over to the parrot and leans over it]

PHOENIX:
…Maya has a new friend…

YOGI:
That there is Polly! I can always ask her if I've forgotten anything important. Right Polly?

POLLY:
Right! Right!

[MAYA is playing with POLLY]

MAYA: [sing-song]
Pppoooolllyyyy. Ppppooolllllyyy!

POLLY:
Polly, Polly!
PHOENIX:
Sir, we don’t have time for this. I’m in the middle of a murder investigation!

[YOGI is silent]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]: [presents badge]

TAKE THAT!

MAYA:
Nick... your badge? Again?

YOGI:
A lawyer's badge?

PHOENIX:
Why yes! It IS a lawyer's badge. A very recognizable symbol of authority, logic, and—

YOGI:
Keith! I’ll help on one condition… when this case is over and done, you take over the “Wet
Noodle”.

MAYA:
We can’t promise that…

PHOENIX:
Sure, we'll run the Wet Noodle when you're gone. Can we...

YOGI:
That's great news! Now we can really get things moving here!
I even wrote a little jingle for commercials!

PHOENIX:
But I...

YOGI: [Sung]
Ohhhhhhhhhh!
[Cue “Pasta Shop”]

Pasta shop!
Pasta everywhere!
Pasta shop!
Pasta in your hair!

We've got all kinds of pasta

for you to enjoy!
With Meg my lovely daughter
and Keith my only boy!

Pasta shop!
Pasta everywhere!
Pasta shop!
Pasta in your hair!

The Wet Noodle's where it's at

to get a real good deal
the best place by the lake
for a tasty meal!

Pasta shop!
Pasta everywhere!
Pasta shop!
Pasta in your hair!

Just take a look at the menu

it is sure to please!
May I suggest
that you try some rainbowlini?

Ohhhhhhhhhh!

PHOENIX: [spoken]
HOLD IT! That's nice and all but can I ask you some questions?

YOGI:
Kieth! You know better than to interrupt someone like that! Why I... I... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

PHOENIX:
He fell asleep!

[MAYA goes over to poke YOGI. He falls over, fast asleep. Music ends.]

MAYA:
Should we wake him?

PHOENIX:
I don’t think we're going to get anything out of him...

MAYA:
Polly Polly, have we forgotten anything?

POLLY:
Don’t forget DL-6!
PHOENIX:
What? Polly, one more time!

POLLY:
Don’t forget DL-6!

PHOENIX:
But.. sir!!!

YOGI:
zzzZZZZZZzzzzz

MAYA:
Nick... this is really weirding me out...

PHOENIX:
Who is this old man? You know, this is enough. We need to find out more about DL6, and we're
not going to learn about it here.

[Cut to CRIMINAL AFFAIRS DEPARTMENT. Enter MAYA and PHOENIX. Lots of police
officers are swarming about, busy as bees. Potential officers like JAKE MARSHALL, BRUCE
GOODMAN, MIKE MEEKINS, MAGGEY, DUSTIN PRINCE, etc. could be shown in passing
glances. The dynamic duo search for the beloved GUMSHOE, only to find he isn’t there.]

MAYA:
I guess he isn’t here…

[GUMSHOE can now be seen, trying to make his way through the pack of officers.]

GUMSHOE:
Wait!

PHOENIX:
Wait, wasn’t he at some sort of meeting?

GUMSHOE:
You! Butz! Wait up!

[GUMSHOE trips as the two look to see who said that. They turn back to each other.]

MAYA:
I don’t really remember…

[GUMSHOE gets up, and dusts himself off.]

PHOENIX:
Well, let’s just head on out.

[PHOENIX and MAYA turn for the door, GUMSHOE now right behind them.]

GUMSHOE:
FINE, pals. See if I help you out anymore.

MAYA:
Eep!

[MAYA slaps GUMSHOE. Beat.]

GUMSHOE: [Slumps over]

What was that for?

MAYA:
I’m sorry…I thought you were a ghost.

GUMSHOE:
You thought I was a ghost…and slapped me. Makes perfect sense.

[MAYA and PHOENIX react to GUMSHOE not only making sense, but being witty for once.]

PHOENIX:
Anyway, I need to ask you something, Detective.

GUMSHOE:
Sure, pal. Shoot.

PHOENIX:
Could you tell us anything about tomorrow's witness?

GUMSHOE:
Sorry, pal. They’d have my badge if they found out I leaked information again!

PHOENIX: [Thinks for a moment]

Well, what about the old man in the boat shop?

GUMSHOE:
HOW DID YOU KNOW!? THAT’S TOP-SECRET!

PHOENIX:
A detective told us.

GUMSHOE:
WHAT!? Who is he? I’ll show him a thing or two about what it means to be a detective!

PHOENIX:
Uh… right. Anyway, now that we already know, could you tell us more about him?

GUMSHOE:
Actually, pal… I don't know much about him either. All the guy ever talks about is “Pasta Shop”
this, “Terry, you can’t let Keith push you around” that.

MAYA:
“Terry”?

GUMSHOE:
You got me, pal. That’s why I thought Lotta was a much more decisive witness, that's why Mr.
von Karma called her fist. It all sounds suspicious to me; pal, but I don’t know what to do about
it.

PHOENIX:
Gumshoe, can you tell us more about DL-6?

GUMSHOE:
Wha!? The case where Mr. Edgeworth died?

MAYA: [A little confused.]

He’s not dead! He’s in jail!

PHOENIX:
No, Gregory Edgeworth, Maya.

MAYA: [Loudly, and over reactive]

There are two Edgeworths? BIZARRO EDGEWORTH?

PHOENIX:
… Swing and a miss.
[To GUMSHOE] Look, can we go over the files?

GUMSHOE:
Mr. Edgeworth doesn’t even let us read the file. So I can’t let you, either.

PHOENIX:
WHAT!? What happened to “A guy you can trust”?

GUMSHOE:
He’s still here. But he doesn’t want to break Mr. Edgeworth’s trust either, pal.

PHOENIX:
Detective…

GUMSHOE: [Slumped over once more]

Don’t look at me like that, pal… look, if you can prove that DL-6 has to do with this case, I’ll let
you on through. Deal?

PHOENIX:
Alright, then.

[Flashback to a clip of the last scene, where MAYA prompts POLLY to talk about DL-6. The
sound from the scene is not there, but we hear PHOENIX over it.]

PHOENIX [V.O, CONT’D]:

When we were at the Boat Shop, the old man’s parrot said something very interesting.

POLLY [PHOENIX V.O]:

“Don’t forget DL-6”.

[End flashback]

GUMSHOE:
AH-HA! I KNEW IT!

PHOENIX:
…what?

GUMSHOE:
THE PARROT! IT’S THE REAL CULPRIT!

PHOENIX:
…But—

[MAYA puts her hand on PHOENIX’S shoulder. PHOENIX turns his head to see MAYA
shaking her head.]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Well, can we go see the records now?

GUMSHOE:
Sure, go ahead. Later, pal!

[GUMSHOE goes off to have more wild antics, assumedly. PHOENIX nods to MAYA, and they
walk to the records room. Cut to inside the Records Room, just as PHOENIX and MAYA enter.]

PHOENIX:
Okay, Maya, let’s find that file!
[MAYA opens a cabinet drawer labeled “D”. A cloud of dust appears. MAYA coughs, as
PHOENIX begins rummaging through cases.]

MAYA:
Wow. And to think, my sister’s file may be in here gathering dust…

PHOENIX: [Finally pulls up a manila folder]

Got it!

[PHOENIX opens the folder, and in a nifty transition as the folder opens, we see the courtroom
exterior in black and white. Maybe some minor changes to indicate the passing of time]

PHOENIX [V.O, CONT’D]:

December 27, 2001. The District Court.

[The camera quickly zooms through the doors, around some corners and rests on an elevator
door, buttons blinking]

PHOENIX [V.O, CONT’D]:

The incident took place…
[Pauses, not dramatically] ... in an elevator.

[The doors open. We instantly change perspective from inside the elevator to see the doors close
again form the inside. It hums to indicate it is going up]

PHOENIX [V.O, CONT’D]:

There was a large earthquake

[The humming stops and the image begins to shake. We hear sounds of panic]

PHOENIX [V.O, CONT’D]:

at 2:00 PM on that day. Part of the court building collapsed,

[The lights flicker]

PHOENIX [V.O, CONT’D]:

and all of the lights went out.

[Blackout, sounds of panic continue, calls of “help”, etc. from the actors playing YOUNG
EDGEWORTH, YOGI, and GREGORY EDGEWORTH]

PHOENIX [V.O, CONT’D]:

There were three people in the elevator.

[The sounds becomes distorted and warped]

PHOENIX [V.O, CONT’D]:
It took five hours to find them, and by that time they had

[The distortion fades to silence]

PHOENIX [V.O, CONT’D]:

passed out from lack of oxygen.

[Silence. The lights come back up, the camera rotates to see GREGORY EDGEWORTH, dead,
as in the game picture]

PHOENIX [V.O, CONT’D]:

One of the three had been shot in the heart…

[Image fades out, back to Records Room.]

MAYA: [As PHOENIX reshelves the folder]

Wow… that just sounds terrible. And that was Mr. Edgeworth’s father, wasn’t it?

PHOENIX: [Looks up]

Edgeworth says he saw his own father die. He must have been one of the people in the elevator

MAYA:
But who was the third? They must’ve done it!

PHOENIX: [Rummaging through papers]

Let’s see… Gregory Edgeworth, Miles Edgeworth… Here! The third was…
[Squints at paper] Yanni Yogi? He was a clerk in the court.
[Raises eyebrows] And it says here he didn’t do it.

MAYA:
What?!

PHOENIX:
He was found innocent by his defense lawyer, Robert Hammond.

MAYA:
Robert Hammond? Our Robert Hammond??

PHOENIX:
Yes. Hammond argued that Yogi lost all memory of the incident due to brain damage. After that,
it looks like Yogi just vanished into thin air.

MAYA:
Well? Where could he be?
PHOENIX: [Looks puzzled]
I think we’ll understand this case a lot better when we find that out. But for now, let’s keep this
file. I know this is going to be important.

[Cut to District Court, Courtroom No. 3]

JUDGE:
Court is again in session for the trial of Miles Edgeworth.

PHOENIX:
The defense is ready, your honor.

VON KARMA:
And the prosecution will end this trial in three minutes.

[The crowd murmurs]

VON KARMA [CONT’D]:

No time to waste. Witness, [snaps] approach the stand.

[YOGI approaches the stand, wobbles, then catches himself as he sits down]

YOGI:
Present!

PHOENIX:
Edgeworth, did you see him on the night of the murder?

EDGEWORTH:
No. I--
[Looks at YOGI, unsure of his recognition] ... I don't know.

VON KARMA:
Sixteen seconds gone. State your occupation immediately.

YOGI:
I, er, rent boats at my restaurant: The Wet Noodle. Ayup.

VON KARMA:
And you saw a man outside the shop that night, correct?

YOGI:
Ayup. It was, er, that man right next to my boy, Keith, over there!

[YOGI points to EDGEWORTH. The crowd murmurs]

VON KARMA:
Silence!

[The crowd stops silent]

VON KARMA[CONT’D]:
Now tell us what you heard.

PHOENIX:
Hold it! This witness hasn't even told us his name yet.

VON KARMA:
Of course. I will not use up my time asking such trivial questions.

JUDGE:
The witness will state his name.

YOGI:
Er... flying monkey balloons.

VON KARMA:
What the witness means to say is that he experienced a traumatic brain injury some years back.
He has not since been able to retrieve long-term memory--not even his legal name. However,
because this took place three days ago, his short-term, working memory will suffice. One minute
and eight seconds left. Please tell us about that night, Witness.

YOGI:
It was on Christmas eve, just after midnight. I was outside checkin' on my boats when I just
heard a 'bang!' Ayup. I looked outta the window and saw one of my boats just a'sittin' there in the
middle of the er... lake! I heard a second “bang”", and then that er... man just walked by my
window, muttering like some kind of loon!

PHOENIX:
Edgeworth, is that right??

EDGEWORTH:
Did I really walk right by him? I ... don't know anymore.
[Emo arm-hold] He looks familiar.

VON KARMA:
There is nothing to question in this perfect testimony. Judge, there are ten seconds left. Dismiss
the witness!

PHOENIX:
Edgeworth, tell me the truth! You're acting as if you're sure you'll be found guilty. Have some
faith, and tell me! Was he there that night?

EDGEWORTH: [Emo]
I can't say.

VON KARMA: [Slams desk]

Curses!

JUDGE:
Mr. von Karma...?

VON KARMA:
Three minutes have passed. Begin the cross-examination.

PHOENIX: [Aside, to EDGEWORTH]

If you want a chance of being found not guilty, you gotta work with me here.
[To YOGI] Well, Mr.— ... Witness. Is there anybody who can verify your story?

YOGI:
Ayup. I'm sure Polly could.

JUDGE:
Polly?

PHOENIX:
You expect us to use the word of a parrot in a court of law? Sorry, Witness, that's not gonna fly.

VON KARMA:
The prosecution concedes that there are no other witnesses to corroborate this testimony.
Continue.

PHOENIX:
So you were outside when you saw the defendant walk by? Why would this strike you as odd?

YOGI:
Ayup. Quite a daze he was in—didn't even look at me. Just muttering over 'n over... “I can't
believe he's dead.”

[The courtroom bursts into flame... figuratively]

MAYA:
Mr. Edgeworth... tell us this isn't true!

[EDGEWORTH remains silent, but looks away as the courtroom uproar grows louder]

JUDGE:
Order! Order!

VON KARMA:
Judge, this new testimony leaves no room for doubt. I demand you declare your guilty verdict
this very instant.

PHOENIX:
Objection! We already proved yesterday that Miles Edgeworth could not have fired that gun. The
photograph shows a left-handed human, but the defendant--

VON KARMA:
The defendant is right-handed? Easily explained. All it would take would be a moment to wipe
away the original fingerprints.

PHOENIX: [Very obviously grasping at straws]

Your Honor, this man's word alone is not enough! If he were lying—

VON KARMA:
Then the only way you could show that would be to present evidence. Evidence is everything.
Do you have any?

[PHOENIX and MAYA look at each other. PHOENIX begins to dig through his briefcase
looking through his evidence piece by piece while MAYA is praying (?), trying to summon her
sister. The rest of the court is watching them, perhaps awkward, perhaps somewhat embarrassed
for them]

MAYA:
Sis? Can you hear me? We need you! Now more than ever. We can't do this alone!

[PHOENIX is pulling out random, obscure pieces of evidence (like luminol spray, t-bone steaks,
etc.)]

EDGEWORTH: [Looking defeated]

There's nothing. What the old man says is true.

[MAYA and PHOENIX both stop and stare at him]

EDGEWORTH:
Back then, and now. There’s nothing I can do to help.

VON KARMA:
Judge, we are waiting.

JUDGE:
Very, well. This court finds the defendant, Mr. Miles Edgeworth... GUILTY. The accused will
surrender to the court immediately, to be held pending trial at a higher court within a month from
today's date. That is all. The court is adjourned!

LARRY:
WAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIT!

[LARRY stands and runs up to the JUDGE]

LARRY [CONT’D]
No! I have to testify!

PHOENIX:
Larry?! What are you doing?

VON KARMA:
Your Honor, please dismiss this man. You have already declared your verdict, and it is too late
for new information or testimony.

LARRY:
But I was THERE! I was at the lake that night, just like the old kook! And I just realized that
something he said was different from what I remember!

JUDGE:
This has never happened before. I'm not sure what the proper procedures are to follow.

VON KARMA:
There are no proper procedures for this testimony—the trial has already ended.

PHOENIX:
Your Honor! These are people's lives we are dealing with here.

[EDGEWORTH looks at PHOENIX]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
We have to use every piece of information we can to make sure we are not declaring the wrong
people guilty. To ignore any evidence or testimony at this point would be a horrible distortion of
justice.

[Perhaps EDGEWORTH smirks here, at recognizing his former defense attorney self in his rival]

JUDGE: [After a tense moment]

I agree with the defense. If Mr. Edgeworth is in fact guilty, then this testimony will not change
that fact. We will hear your testimony.

[VON KARMA looks quite uneasy--maybe even ALMOST banging his head against the wall]

MAYA:
Nick! Look at him!

PHOENIX:
Of course he's worried. It's Larry.

EDGEWORTH:
Wright, this is our chance. He's always planned out how his trials will play out before. Larry's
outburst was a surprise for him, and he can't set it up to work to his liking now.

JUDGE: [spoken]
Witness, please state your name and occupation.

LARRY:
Larry Butz! ...Ladies man.

VON KARMA:
This is a colossal waste of time.

JUDGE:
Mr. Butz, please begin your testimony.

LARRY:
You got it, Pops!
[sung]
Well, I was hangin' out with my girlfriend Ruth,
in my mansion with a golden picket fence...

JUDGE:
Sir, must I remind you now to please tell the truth?
Because perjury's a criminal offense...

LARRY: [spoken]
Whew! Sorry, let me try that again...

JUDGE: [sternly]
Alright.

LARRY: [sung]
See, I was all alone, 'cause I'd just been DUMPED,
and I know that isn't easy to believe!
I hit the lake so I could look for some junk,
which had ALSO left me on that Christmas Eve!

But as I brought that boat back into the shop,

I heard a gun fire with a noisy pop!
And I know you don't think my opinion counts for a whole lot,
but let me guarantee you that I heard that shot!

That's how it all happened, I recall it clear as day,

so believe it--even if you think I'm nuts!

PHOENIX: [spoken]
His testimony's vague...

MAYA:
And you know just what they say: "When something smells..."

PHOENIX:
"...it's usually the Butz."

VON KARMA:
This witness is contributing nothing. I suggest he be dismissed, and ideally, drawn and quartered.

PHOENIX:
Hold it! Larry, there is one thing that sounds out of place in your testimony...

LARRY:
And what's that, Nick?

PHOENIX
Well, you say you heard A gunshot. Yesterday, Ms. Lotta Hart testified, and I quote: "Ya'll listen
real good now! I heard two dang gunshots that night!"

LARRY:
...You said "Ms" and not "Mrs", right...?

PHOENIX:
La...Larry. LarryLarryLarry! Please... just.. stay focused and explain why you didn't hear the
second gunshot.

LARRY:
Truth is that I was listenin' on my headphones,
because radio's the friend that's always there!
I like to jam out when I'm feeling alone,
so I may have missed a shot that filled the air.

But I remember that one 'bang' that I heard,

the DJ was talking when it occurred...
so I know it wasn't something like a killer drumming riff,
but let me guarantee you that I was scared stiff!

When the D.J. had talked, there was hardly any noise,
so I listened in awe of her really sexy voice.
It was pure, and demure, yet mature and so refined,
I can't get that lovely voice out of my mind!

That's how it all happened, I recall it plain as ink,

and to get up here, it took a lot of guts! HAH!

PHOENIX:
This guy should see a shrink, 'cause his testimony stinks!

LARRY:
[burps]

PHOENIX:
And when something smells, it's probably the Butz!

VON KARMA:
I can't stand to listen to this lad.
This young man has nothing new to add.

PHOENIX:
Larry, there's just one thing I should know:
when you listened on the radio,
in regards to the D.J., what exactly did she say on the show?
Do you know?

LARRY: [spoken]
I...I remember! She said, "Hey...it's almost Christmas!"

JUDGE:
...Well, Mr. Wright, anything to add?

PHOENIX:
Er, um, I...

VON KARMA:
As compelling as your argument is, I demand that the witness end this pointless charade! NOW!

JUDGE:
Oh, very well. Mr. Larry Butz, you are now dismi--

PHOENIX:
OBJECTION!! Your Honor, please! I just found out how this testimony changes everything!
[sung]
If you recall, Ms. Lotta's camera went off
at twelve-fifteen, December twenty-fifth--
JUDGE: [spoken]
Yes, yes

PHOENIX: [sung]
And though the witness is incompetent and frankly quite a dope

LARRY: [spoken]
Hey!

PHOENIX: [sung]
I know his shaky testimony's not a myth!

LARRY: [spoken]
Nick! Come on, buddy!

PHOENIX: [sung]
And though we've all assumed the gun fired twice,
in fact, the murder weapon fired thrice!
One was fired Christmas Eve, the others, Christmas day,
and these three photos illustrate my repartee!
[spoken]
See? One from when the camera went off at 11:50 PM -- "almost Christmas" -- and two more at
12:15! The camera caught three SNAPshots for three GUNshots, and Larry's testimony proves it!

JUDGE:
Why, you're absolutely right! No objections, Mr. von Karma?

VON KARMA:
[low sound of dissaproval]

JUDGE:
Very well, then.

PHOENIX:
The question is, what happened in this TWENTY-FIVE MINUTE GAP!?!

JUDGE:
Indeed...we shall look into this matter and finish the trial tomorrow. Mr. Butz, your final
thoughts?

[simultaneously, sung]

LARRY:
Wow, Nick, that's quite a trick! It shocked even me!
It's impressive how you managed to survive!
I think that you could even get Edgey free,
or at worst, just imprisonment for life!

VON KARMA/CROWD
Get that man off the stand, he's a sham and a disgrace!
What a crime, wasting time for a prosecuting ace!
Every word is absurd, it's unheard of and a sin,
for this fool to fill the court with such chagrin!

LARRY:
That's how it all happened and that's all I gots to say!
I recall it just like it was yesterday!

PHOENIX: [spoken]
It was TUESDAY!

LARRY: [sung]
And so I saved the day, even though I'm just a klutz...

PHOENIX/JUDGE/MAYA/CROWD:
When something smells, it's gotta be,

VON KARMA:
That man needs a lobotomy,

PHOENIX/JUDGE/MAYA/JURY:
When something smells it's gotta be,

PHOENIX/JUDGE/MAYA/JURY/LARRY:
the Butz!

LARRY:
It's gotta be the Buuuuuuutz!
Ahhh-chaaaaahhhhh!

VON KARMA: [spoken]

GET HIM OUT OF HERE!

EDGEWORTH:
How could I have missed it, Your Honor?

JUDGE:
And? What do you have to say?

EDGEWORTH:
What Wright has concluded is mostly correct. Astonishingly so, in fact. Several days ago I
received a letter signed “Robert Hammond,” asking me to come to the boat shop at midnight on
Christmas Eve. He said he had something to discuss with me.

JUDGE:
And what was that?

[EDGEWORTH is about to answer, but is interrupted by GUMSHOE kicking the door open]

GUMSHOE:
Your Honor, sir!

JUDGE:
Detective, we are conducting a trial—

GUMSHOE:
I know, sir, but the witness—he’s disappeared!

JUDGE:
What?!

GUMSHOE:
We’re trying to find him, sir, but he wasn’t at the boat shop either!

JUDGE: [Reproaching]
Mr. von Karma!

VON KARMA:
A search warrant has already been issued.

JUDGE:
Er. Good. Well then, it goes without saying that I cannot declare a verdict under
these circumstances. I request that the police department utilize all its forces to find that witness!
I want to know who he is! Am I understood?

GUMSHOE: [Enthusiastically]
Yes, sir!

JUDGE:
Very well. Court is adjourned!

[General happy/relieved reactions from the defense as PHOENIX and MAYA help
EDGEWORTH down from the stand, VON KARMA storms out, GUMSHOE rushes away. Fade
to black.

THE DEFENDANT LOBBY

MAYA, PHOENIX, and EDGEWORTH enter as a group, PHOENIX and MAYA chatting,
EDGEWORTH pensive and distant. THEY are immediately met by LARRY]

MAYA: [Highfiving a reluctant PHOENIX]

Alright Nick! Another day!

PHOENIX:
Yeah…
[Glances at EDGEWORTH] And we got out from under that guilty verdict.

LARRY:
Thanks to my awesome performance! I had ‘em swooning in the aisles, huh Nick?

PHOENIX:
Huh? Swooning?

[LARRY looks at PHOENIX expectantly.]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Well… I do remember feeling faint…

LARRY:
Oh come ON! You can do better than that! I saved your butts in there today! Tell him, Edgey! It
was love at first sight, right?

[EDGEWORTH is silent]

PHOENIX:
Edgeworth?

[MAYA leans over curiously and pokes EDGEWORTH. HE jumps and finally looks at the
group]

EDGEWORTH:
Wh-what? Did you say something?

LARRY:
You need to relax, Edgey! All that worrying will give you wrinkles!

MAYA:
Yeah! If things keep going at this rate, you’ll definitely get off the hook tomorrow! You could
smile? Just a little?

EDGEWORTH:
I’m sorry, but… I’m afraid it’s not over for me yet.
PHOENIX:
What do you mean? Sure, we had a close call today, but I think we’ll be fine now that--

EDGEWORTH: [Interrupting]
Wright.

[PHOENIX stops and listens]

EDGEWORTH [CONT’D]:
There’s something that’s been troubling me for a long time now, and I don’t know whether or
not to tell you.

LARRY:
Aw, Edgey, you can trust us!

EDGEWORTH: [More to himself than the others]

No…there’s so little time left. I want to get it off my chest, but…hm.

[EDGEWORTH turns away, thinking PHOENIX takes EDGEWORTH aside a little, although
LARRY and MAYA continue to listen]

PHOENIX:
Edgeworth. What is this about?

EDGEWORTH: [Reluctantly, doing that arm-grab thing we all love so much]

It’s…a nightmare I’ve had. A memory of a crime—of a murder—that I committed.

PHOENIX: [Simultaneously with LARRY and MAYA]

What!? Edgeworth, you’d never—

LARRY:
Edgey, you don’t mean you—

MAYA:
A murder!?

VON KARMA: [Off screen]

Miles Edgeworth.

[Everyone freezes as the camera goes to VON KARMA, carrying his coat and briefcase]

VON KARMA [CONT’D]:

You are required for questioning. Now.

[LARRY and PHOENIX both get in front of EDGEWORTH, belatedly blocking him from VON
KARMA]
PHOENIX [Staggered with LARRY]
As his lawyer, I have a right to know what kind of questioning—

LARRY:
Hey, man, just because Nick had a better witness than you is no reason to take it out on Edgey—

VON KARMA: [Ignoring them both, speaking to EDGEWORTH]

The police are waiting to hear about this supposed letter you received from the victim. Please
come with me.

EDGEWORTH: [Waving PHOENIX and LARRY off]

Yes sir.

[EDGEWORTH exits with VON KARMA]

MAYA:
Mr. Edgeworth…

LARRY:
Nick, you don’t really think he—

PHOENIX:
There’s no way. Not Edgeworth. Something’s bothering him, yeah, but...he’d never take
someone’s life. Ever.

MAYA:
Nick…why do you trust Mr. Edgeworth so much? I mean, he’s changed recently, but when we
first met him…he was kind of a jerk, you know?

PHOENIX:
You didn’t know him back then—back when he wanted to become a defense attorney.

MAYA:
That’s because you won’t tell me! Come on, Nick, out with it!

LARRY:
Yeah, Nick! Out with it!

PHOENIX: [Sighing]
Okay, okay. Well, it’s kind of a long story, though, so hang in there.

[MAYA and LARRY settle on the lobby couch and look at PHOENIX eagerly]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
It happened in the spring of our fourth grade year. You wouldn’t remember, Larry—you were
out of school that day—but one of the kids in our class had his lunch money stolen during PE. I
was coming down with a cold, so I had sat out that day—I was the only one absent.

MAYA:
So they thought you did it?

PHOENIX:
Yeah. The kids in class said I should be put on trial. So the next day, we held a classroom trial,
with me as the defendant.

[Cue “Trial By Fire”]

JURY OF KIDS:
Guilty! He did it!
Guilty! It was you!
Guilty! Admit it!
Did you rob a bank, too?

YOUNG PHOENIX: [spoken]

I…I didn’t do it!

JURY OF KIDS: [sung]

Guilty! He’s lying!
Your Honor, he’s trying
To shift the blame to some other youth.
We won’t be fooled!
We’ll wait till you rule
And force Phoenix Wright to tell the truth!

TEACHER : [spoken]
Phoenix, I am so disappointed in you.

PHOENIX: [sung]
I didn’t know what was going on
All I felt was alone and withdrawn
I remember I couldn’t stop crying…
I couldn't stand that they thought I was lying

MAYA: [spoken]
…Wow, Nick. I had no idea you were such an emo kid.

PHOENIX:
Well, even the teacher wouldn't believe me. Maya, you know what if feels like to have no one on
your side
TEACHER:
Phoenix, you have lost our trust and respect. You owe us an apology.

PHOENIX: [sung]
Their disbelieving eyes all said I'd done it
With none at my defense, I decided to submit
I turned to that boy and tried to admit
What I hadn’t done…

…That’s when it happened.

YOUNG EDGEWORTH:
OBJECTION! This so-called trial is a disgrace!

TEACHER: [spoken]
Miles, what on earth do you—?

YOUNG EDGEWORTH: [sung, to the Jury]

You amateurs! Your accusations make no sense!
Could my own classmates really be this dense?
Your Honor, if I may, in Wright's defense…

[Spoken, to PHOENIX]
Did you steal my money?

YOUNG PHOENIX:
N-no…I didn’t.

YOUNG EDGEWORTH: [sung]

All that matters in this court is decisive evidence!
(Anything else has no place.)
To know stealing's wrong, you need not be wise
But when we blame him without proof, justice dies
If my point still needs yet one more reprise
(Just look at yourselves)
You'll see the ones who need apologize

TEACHER: [spoken]
But Miles! It was your money that was stolen!

JURY OF KIDS: [sung]

Yeah! He did it! He’s the one!
We don’t need proof!
Crimes can’t be undone!
Make him tell the—

YOUNG LARRY: [spoken]

Shut up! Just listen to yourselves, calling for Nick's head. Did you ever stop to think how he
feels? If he says he didn't do it, then he didn't do it. End of story—case closed.

TEACHER:
…Very well. I’ll replace the money myself. This class trial is over.

PHOENIX: [sung]
…That's how it happened.

[End music]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
After that…we were always friends.

MAYA:
So that's why you believe in Mr. Edgeworth?

PHOENIX:
Yeah... he helped me out when no one else would. And a few months later, he disappeared.

MAYA:
His dad…

PHOENIX:
Yeah. It wasn't until I was in college that I heard his name again—there was a newspaper feature
about his debut as “the Demon Prosecutor”—it said he’d do anything to win, no matter how
dirty.

LARRY:
But that isn’t right at all! The Edgey I know wouldn’t cheat on his homework, much less in a
trial! What happened to him?

PHOENIX:
That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you! I tried to get in touch with him, but he never answered.
That’s when I decided.

MAYA:
Wait. You don’t mean—

PHOENIX:
If I was a defense attorney, I knew he’d have to meet me in court—whether he wanted to or not.
He believed in me then, so I’ve got to believe in him now.
LARRY: [Teary eyed, maybe going for a hug]
Aaaaaaw! Nick! Is that why you agreed to defend me for free?

PHOENIX:
Sure Larry. Sure.

MAYA: [Very serious]

Nick.

PHOENIX: [Anticipating disapproval]

Yeah, yeah, I know it’s kind of corny---

MAYA: [Suddenly impassioned]

What are we doing still standing here?! We've got an investigation to run--there's no way Mr.
Edgeworth's guilty! Let’s go! Move it!

[MAYA hurries PHOENIX and LARRY out the door]

Week 9

[PHOENIX and MAYA enter the boat shop]

PHOENIX:
Hello? Anybody here?

POLLY: [offscreen, causes PHOENIX and MAYA to jump]

Hello! Aaanybody here!

MAYA:
You poor thing!
[Plugs her nose] Nobody's even been here to change your paper for you.

[MAYA starts to wad up the paper]

PHOENIX: [Starts to look under the table, look through cabinets, etc.]
Maya, we don't have time to be playing with that bird. We need to see if we can find any clues!

MAYA: [Throws the paper in the kitchen garbage as she yells to POLLY/PHOENIX]
You pay no attention to him, Polly. I bet you're an important member of this household.

[MAYA unfolds a newspaper she found on the table and sets it under Polly.]

PHOENIX: [After going through some cabinets, looks at his fingertips]

Blech! Just look at how dusty his cabinets are! This kitchen hasn't been used in ages.

MAYA:
Really? I wonder where he keeps his pasta. Is it in the safe?

PHOENIX: [Blinks]
Right.

[PHOENIX glances around the room and sees the safe]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
I think a more important question would be: what a doddering old man has a high-security safe
for?

[PHOENIX pulls on the safe, attempting to open it.]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Too bad they don't teach you how to do this kind of stuff in law school.

MAYA:
Well maybe an important member of the household might know the combination.

PHOENIX: [Tapping and hitting the safe]

Maya, I don't think that old man is going to—

MAYA:
No, Nick! Remember? He tells all his important information to Polly so she can help remember
it!
[Scratching POLLY under her chin] Hey, Polly, what's the combination to the safe?

POLLY:
Twelve-Twenty-Eight. [Squawk]

PHOENIX: [Opens the safe.]

Wow. It really was that easy.

[Shot from the inside of the safe that is empty, save for one letter.]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Now what have we here?

[PHOENIX pulls out the envelope]

MAYA:
Sheesh. Whoever addressed this has perfect handwriting.

[PHOENIX opens the letter]

PHOENIX: [Reading]
"Get your revenge on Miles Edgeworth?!"

POLLY:
DL-6! [Squawk]

PHOENIX: [Still reading]

"This is your last chance. Now is the time to get revenge on the two men who ruined your life:
Robert Hammond and Miles Edgeworth."

[PHOENIX begins to skim the letter as he's sharing the important details with MAYA]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
It even has a list of directions for him to follow! "First kill Robert Hammond... Call Edgeworth
out to the lake... get on a boat... fire two gunshots..."

MAYA:
That's exactly what you said in court earlier!

PHOENIX:
No signature or return address, of course. We need to go find out more about this from
Edgeworth.

[PHOENIX dashes out of the room]

MAYA: [To POLLY, as she closes the door and turns off the light]
Polly, we'll come back to check on you. I won't forget.

[MAYA closes the door]

POLLY: [Squawk]
Never forget! DL-6!!

[Cut to, THE DETENTION CENTER

The usual setup. MAYA and PHOENIX have just shown EDGEWORTH the letter]

EDGEWORTH: [Reading]
Revenge…on me?

MAYA:
Just who is that old guy, anyway?

PHOENIX: [to EDGEWORTH, half joking]

Could he be an innocent defendant you got declared guilty?

EDGEWORTH:
Nice, Wright. Nice. But I don’t remember him at all. I’m sure of it now.
MAYA:
But he went to all that trouble just to frame you… he must have some kind of motive!

EDGEWORTH: [in full-out detective mode]

And this letter proves there was a second party involved as well…the murderer and the
mastermind…hm.

[EDGEWORTH brings his hand to his mouth, thinking]

PHOENIX:
Good to see you feeling better.

EDGEWORTH: [Hand still on his mouth]

Mm?

PHOENIX:
I was worried about you after the trial today, with von Karma interrogating you—

EDGEWORTH: [Absently, still puzzling the motives over]

That’s Prosecutor von Karma to you, Wright. Show proper respect.

MAYA:
But he’s trying to get you declared guilty! And he cheats!

EDGEWORTH: [Shaking his head]

All von Karma does is his job. He finds the defendant guilty every time. Perfectly. With the
amount of criminals in the world… there’s nothing wrong with that.

MAYA:
But… you wanted to be a defense attorney! You stood up for Nick!

EDGEWORTH:
I… what?

MAYA:
You know? Your lunch money was stolen? Fourth grade?

EDGEWORTH:
Oh… Oh. I do seem to remember something like that. [Beat] Vaguely. [Beat] Somewhat. [Light
cough]

MAYA: [Aside to PHOENIX]

Nick, I think you’re the only one who remembers.

PHOENIX:
Well… I think it only really mattered to me.

[EDGEWORTH looks at PHOENIX quizzically]

MAYA:
Mr. Edgeworth, didn’t you know? Nick became an attorney because of that class trial!

EDGEWORTH:
Ridiculous. [Beat] Although…it does sound like something you’d do, Wright.

PHOENIX:
Gee, thanks, Edgeworth…

EDGEWORTH: [Smiling at the snark/nostalgia]

You really haven’t changed at all, have you? So… simple. To a fault, even.

PHOENIX:
Well, maybe yeah, but…I think you changed too much, Edgeworth.

EDGEWORTH:
…Perhaps.
[HE stops, thinking] I suppose I just couldn’t continue to deny reality like you.

PHOENIX:
What do you mean?

EDGEWORTH:
My father was taken from me, and you expect me to defend criminals? I’m sorry…but I’m just
not that good a person.

[EDGEWORTH looks at PHOENIX, touched in spite of himself]

EDGEWORTH [CONT’D]:
No matter what kind of… ideal… you may hold me to.

PHOENIX: [Apologetic]
Edgeworth, I didn’t mean--

EDGEWORTH:
And… there is something else. Something I... don’t like to think about, if I can avoid it.

PHOENIX:
The “nightmare?”

EDGEWORTH:
Yes, I—
PHOENIX: [Awkward guy sympathy]
You don’t have to talk about it if it’s hard for you—

EDGEWORTH:
No, I… I need to tell someone. You’re…my attorney. You deserve to know.

[EDGEWORTH stops, preparing himself]

EDGEWORTH [CONT’D]:
You see, this trial has made me think. For the last fifteen years, I've had the same dream almost
every night. I wake up in a fearful sweat, every time.

MAYA:
What kind of dream?

EDGEWORTH:
A dream about my father’s killing… in the dark.

[As EDGEWORTH speaks, the scene fades out into darkness. We see the action of the dream as
a dimly illuminated flashback, possibly from the perspective of YOUNG EDGEWORTH]

YOGI: [Banging on the interior of the elevator]

I can’t breathe! Help! Get us out!

GREGORY: [Controlled anger]

For the last time, shouting will only use up more oxygen! There isn’t enough air as it is!

YOGI:
I-I can’t breathe.
[Wheeling on GREGORY, hysterical] We’re going to die in here, aren’t we?

GREGORY: [Finally losing his temper]

Stop it!

[GREGORY glances at YOUNG EDGEWORTH, then back towards YOGI]

GREGORY:
Don’t say things like that!

YOGI:
You! Y-you’re using up my air!

GREGORY:
Wh-What?!
YOGI: [Lunging at GREGORY and grabbing his throat]
I’ll stop you!

YOUNG EDGEWORTH:
Father!

GREGORY: [Choking]
S-stop…you’re scaring…Mi…

[GREGORY is cut off before he can finish]

EDGEWORTH [V.O.]:
Then I see the pistol lying by my feet. I don't know if it was evidence from that day in court, or
the bailiff's... In a daze, I pick it up…

YOUNG EDGEWORTH:
Leave my father alone!

[YOUNG EDGEWORTH throws the pistol. We hear a bang and a scary VON KARMA scream
as the dream fades and return to the present]

EDGEWORTH [V.O, fading into present]:

And with that scream, I wake.

PHOENIX:
But… it’s just a dream, isn’t it? You said you had no memory of the incident--

EDGEWORTH:
That thought is the only thing that has kept me sane for the last fifteen years. But what if I'm
wrong? What if it's real? They say that sometimes people shut out memories in self-defense.
Maybe it was I who killed my father!
[Suddenly putting things together] If you think of it that way, this letter makes perfect sense!
“This is your last chance.” That’s the statute of limitations on DL-6. “The two men who ruined
your life:” Hammond, the defense attorney who failed to uncover the truth—and me, the real
killer. We both wronged an innocent man: the bailiff, Yanni Yogi. Of course he’d jump at the
chance for revenge.

MAYA:
Nick, this is bad…

PHOENIX:
Edgeworth—what about the other person? The one who wrote the letter?

EDGEWORTH:
It… doesn’t matter anymore. I… I should be declared guilty.
PHOENIX:
Edgeworth!

[EDGEWORTH doesn’t respond, muttering to himself. PHOENIX is obviously frustrated at his

inability to physically reach EDGEWORTH and slap him to his senses]

MAYA: [Tugging PHOENIX’S sleeve to get his attention]

Nick, we’ve got to go. We need more information about DL-6.

PHOENIX:
But the police don’t know anything else about it, thanks to Edgeworth. There’s no one else we
can ask…

[MAYA pouts momentarily, then has an epiphany, snapping her fingers or hitting her fist on her
cupped hand]

MAYA:
Yes there is!

[MAYA grabs PHOENIX’S arm]

MAYA [CONT’D]:
Let’s go!

PHOENIX:
But Edgeworth--!

MAYA:
We aren’t helping him here! Come on!

[They exit. Fade out on EDGEWORTH holding his arm, alone. Yes, it is very emo.

Fade in on GROSSBERG and Co. Law Offices, GROSSBERG’s office. HE is leafing through
some papers in a folder disinterestedly. HE looks around suspiciously, sees that the coast is clear,
and slips out a contraption that looks somewhat like a Gameboy or a Nintendo DS. HE turns on
the console, and an 8-bit version of the Steel Samurai Theme plays. HE furiously begins to mash
buttons.]

GROSSBERG:
Hah! I say, the Evil Magistrate is no match for my Samurai Slicer! Dance, Magistrate, dance!
Yes, yes, that’s right, he’s on the ropes! Samurai Slam!

[There is a knock at the door]

PHOENIX:
Mr. Grossberg?
[GROSSBERG hears nothing.]

GROSSBERG:
I daresay, your time draws nigh, Magistrate! Super Spinning Samurai Slap!

PHOENIX:
Mr. Grossberg! Are you in there!?

[GROSSBERG finally hears PHOENIX’s call. HE becomes flustered]

GROSSBERG:
Oh, I good heavens! Er… ah… come in!

[PHOENIX opens the door and enters, followed by MAYA.]

GROSSBERG:
Welcome m’boy! I’m sorry that I didn’t respond sooner, but I was much too busy with my…
er… legalities. Something I can’t assume you’d understand. There was quite a bit of jargon
involved, nothing that falls into your meager lexicon, I daresay. So, I believe we may just drop it
right there.

[PHOENIX and MAYA look at each other, smirking. MAYA chuckles a bit.]

GROSSBERG:
What’s so funny?

PHOENIX:
Oh, nothing. I understand, Mr. Grossberg.

GROSSBERG:
Er… well… good!

MAYA:
Yeah, Nick still hasn’t figured out the button combination for the Samurai Slap.

GROSSBERG:
Bwuh!? How did you…?

[PHOENIX points to GROSSBERG’s elbow. It is leaning upon the intercom button.]

GROSSBERG [CONT’D]:
By Balthazar’s Beard! …Belinda, did you hear all that?

SECRETARY: [From intercom]

“Dance, Magistrate, dance”?
[GROSSBERG relinquishes his elbow hurriedly.]

GROSSBERG: [Bitterly]
Harumph. Well… now that I’ve been sufficiently embarrassed, may I ask why you’ve chosen to
grace me with your presence?

PHOENIX:
Well… Mr. Grossberg, we actually need your help one last time.

GROSSBERG:
Ah, yes, well, I suppose I’m familiar with the drill by now. No, m’boy, much like you, I have my
own casework to get started on. I can hardly spare a moment. I’m on a very tight schedule you
know, and time is money after all.

MAYA:
Aw, come on, Mr. Grossberg. We just need you to take a look at this letter.

GROSSBERG:
Oh. Don’t you have any questions about my past?

PHOENIX:
Your past?

GROSSBERG: [After a melodramatic gasp]

Did you say… past!?

[Cue “The Scent of Fresh Lemons”]

PHOENIX:
Hey, what—wait! You said it—that’s cheating!!

GROSSBERG: [sung]
Like the scent of fresh lemons…
The days of my youuuuuuuuuuuth!!

[music ends, spoken]

Well, you’ve broken me, Wright. I’ll tell you anything you need to know.

PHOENIX:
I… really just needed you to look at this letter.

GROSSBERG:
Well tarry not! Hand it here, not a moment to spare!

[GROSSBERG seizes the note like the incredible man that he is.]
GROSSBERG [CONT’D]:
Hmmm… Well, like it or not, we must make another trip to my past, it seems. This note floods
me with all kinds of emotions.

PHOENIX:
Would you prefer if we stepped out?

GROSSBERG:
No, stay, m’boy. You’re part of this now.
[Takes a deep (manly) breath and continues] I should first say that this story finds its roots in
Gregory Edgeworth, or as you know him, Papa Edgeworth.

PHOENIX:
I’ve never heard him called—

GROSSBERG:
Quiet, m’boy! Now then… he was involved in a case known as the DL-6 incident, which you’re
no doubt familiar with.

PHOENIX:
Yes, we’ve heard this all already!

GROSSBERG:
Well, I suppose you’ve figured everything out on your own, then!

MAYA:
Nick! Listen to him!

PHOENIX:
…Alright, sorry. Please continue, Mr. Grossberg.

GROSSBERG:
Well, something that you perhaps were not familiar with was how this letter now clarifies things.
This penmanship belongs to none other than Manfred von Karma.

MAYA:
Von Karma!? Are you sure?

GROSSBERG:
Crystal. I saw this writing on case reports all the time. It’s unmistakable.

PHOENIX:
Mr. Grossberg, are you really implying that the one who instructed Yanni Yogi to kill Hammond
was—
GROSSBERG:
Yes, yes! Now please desist your interruptions! Now, I’m sure you’re asking why Yogi would
want to kill Robert Hammond. Allow me to extrapolate. Robert Hammond was a very skilled
defense attorney, but much like Mr. Von Karma, he would do whatever it took to win. He never
trusted his clients. He didn’t need to. He trusted in his own abilities.

MAYA:
But… didn’t Hammond defend Yogi and win?

GROSSBERG:
But at what cost!?

PHOENIX:
I’m sorry, Mr. Grossberg, but I still fail to see how this relates to von Karma.

GROSSBERG:
Yes, I was quite curious as well, but I believe I have it sorted out. For his entire career, Manfred
von Karma had a perfect record. However, during a trial between Gregory Edgeworth and von
Karma, Edgeworth accused von Karma of faulty evidence. Now, while Edgeworth lost the case,
his accusation still stood firm. Von Karma was… penalized. It was the only penalty von Karma
had ever received, and it ate away at him from the inside. In fact, after that he took a several
month vacation—the only vacation he had ever taken in his entire career. Now, it was later that
day, in the elevator, as I’m sure you know, that Gregory Edgeworth was killed. Who else was in
that elevator? None other than the Bailiff Yanni Yogi. As I said before, Robert Hammond
cleared his name successfully… by pleading insanity. Yogi was let off the hook, surely, but he
was socially ruined. Lost his job, his fiancée, and the better things in life. Why wouldn’t von
Karma take advantage of that opportunity? By instructing Yogi to kill Hammond and frame
Miles Edgeworth, von Karma could finally exact vengeance upon Gregory’s name. So… perhaps
Miles did not actually murder Hammond. However, how do you plan on defending him against
the charge of him being the only other person inside that elevator?

PHOENIX:
But… no! Edgeworth is innocent, and I can prove it!

GROSSBERG:
I truly hope you can… but accidental murder is still murder, Mr. Wright. Unless you turn this
case upside down and find something that everyone else has missed for the past 15 years… Von
Karma has you in his trap.

PHOENIX:
No… No! There must be some way!

GROSSBERG:
I… can think of nothing.

PHOENIX:
Then we’ll just have to find a way together. Will you help us? You know, you have every right
to figure out this case. You said it yourself, we’re all involved.

GROSSBERG:
M-me!? Oh, gracious, I couldn’t!
[Somewhat more grimly and angered] No. This case is over for me. I want nothing more to do
with it. You’ll not catch me in von Karma’s trap as well.

PHOENIX:
But, Mr. Grossberg! You said that—

GROSSBERG:
Get out!

PHOENIX:
…what? Mr. Grossberg! How can you abandon—

GROSSBERG:
GET OUT!

[There is a tense silence.]

PHOENIX:
…You said we were bound to this case! And now that we’re down to the wire, you just want to
erase your name from it! We’re out there crusading for the same things you were 15 years ago,
and now you just want to push it aside. So come on! Isn’t there anything you have to say for
yourself!?

[GROSSBERG says nothing. HE turns his chair around and faces his bookcases.]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
I understand. Thank you for your help, Mr. Grossberg. Come on, Maya, we don’t need help from
a cowardly old man.

[PHOENIX tugs on MAYA’s arm and SHE follows mournfully. PHOENIX opens the door and
begins to leave. GROSSBERG stands.]

GROSSBERG:
…Good luck, m’boy. You’re right. You’re a better man than me. But if I were you, perhaps I
might check the Police files for the DL-6 case. That is… if you’re ready to see what you might
find. It’s a stretch, at best… but maybe you’ll find something.

PHOENIX:
Thank you, Grossberg. This is all going to be cleared up, once and for all, I promise. I’m… sorry
for those things we said.
GROSSBERG:
You don’t have time for formalities, go solve that case.

[PHOENIX nods understandingly and leaves. GROSSBERG sits back down in his seat, and
takes a sip of lemonade.]

GROSSBERG [CONT’D]:
Thank you, Wright.

[Scene cuts to the RECORDS ROOM as PHOENIX and MAYA enter. The two look around, and
PHOENIX is noticeably perplexed. Cue “600,000 Volts (Out of My Way)”.]

MAYA:
What’s wrong, Nick?

PHOENIX:
Nothing. I just thought that he would be here. Von Karma…

MAYA:
Huh? One of the drawers is open.

PHOENIX:
Someone must have been looking in it recently.

MAYA:
The label says, “Unsolved Cases: Evidence.”

[MAYA rummages through the drawer.]

MAYA [CONT’D]:
…Nick! The file for DL-6… it’s completely empty!

PHOENIX:
Wh-what?!

VON KARMA: [A voice from behind PHOENIX and MAYA]

What are you doing in here?!

[PHOENIX and MAYA turn to see VON KARMA, standing in the doorway]

MAYA: [Slightly before final note in sequence, during crescendo]

Eeek!
[During pause] V-v-von Karma!

VON KARMA: [After first strain of “Manfred von Karma”]

You…! …How do you know my name?
MAYA:
Huh?

VON KARMA:
Have we met?

MAYA:
W-w-what are you saying!? We see each other every day, don’t we? We’re Miles Edgeworth’s
defense team!

VON KARMA:
Defense team…? Ahem. I beg your pardon—you see [cue tremolo strings], I rarely remember
defense attorneys. They are like bugs to me. Needless things, to be crushed. [During high string
glissandi] Mwahahahahaha…!

PHOENIX: [Cutting off VON KARMA’S laughter, timed with end of glissandi]
Mr. von Karma, have a look at this. This was you, wasn’t it?
[Underscore returns] You instructed Yanni Yogi to commit murder.

VON KARMA: [Amusedly]

… Yanni Yogi…

[sung]
How many years has it been since I’ve heard that name?
Now it appears, Mr. Wright, you’ve grown wise to my game.

MAYA:
So you admit it! You wrote this letter!

VON KARMA:
He’s such a fool…
[sustained] Yes!

[spoken] Yes, my dear defense attorney. It was I who wrote that letter. I must thank you for
taking the trouble to bring it to me. You’ve saved me from a lot of needless hassle.

[VON KARMA pulls out a stun gun]

MAYA:
N-Nick! What is that thing!?

PHOENIX:
A stun gun.
[Cue music] For self-defense… usually.
VON KARMA: [sung]
Oh, and how arduous I thought this process would be
And yet you stand here, so render that letter to me
This trial is ending;
Now your life’s depending
On lending that parchment, you see.

PHOENIX:
Maya!
Don’t get any closer!
No, von Karma, no, sir,
We won’t let you stand in our way!
We both know Miles Edgeworth is innocent;
This meeting won’t lead us astray.

VON KARMA:
These last fifteen long years…
For vengeance I’ve waited:
Hoped, anticipated—
The payback I seek!

His father—that bastard!—

He scarred my perfection
So, without reflection,
I punish the weak!

[spoken] Pitiful Edgeworth! For fifteen years—just like me—he, too, has been haunted by ghosts
of the past. For fifteen years he has trembled behind the veneer of amateurism, a second-rate
romanticist—just like his father. For fifteen years, I have been biding my time to fully exact my
revenge on the one man who ruined my perfect trial record. And tomorrow, my dreams will be
realized: Miles Edgeworth will experience my wrath—feel all of the rage that’s been building…
tenfold!

[Sung, trio]

VON KARMA:
Now six-hundred-thousand volts will course straight through your veins!
People don’t usually die, though you might feel some pain…
You ought to know better,
So hand me that letter,
Lest you watch your girlfriend be slain!

PHOENIX:
That’s it!
I won’t be your victim.
Think you will convict him?
You won’t, for the truth will emerge!
The verdict will not come by happenstance
And you, from the courtroom, I’ll purge!
Mia, let me do what’s right!
Now’s the time—the time to fight!

MAYA:
Phoenix, our tricks
Won’t prove useful now…
Nick, I will try
To help out somehow.
Mia, save us with your light!
…Guess all I can do is fight!

[End trio]

VON KARMA: [Spoken after tremolo strings entrance]

Now, give me that letter.

MAYA:
Noooooooooo!

[MAYA leaps at VON KARMA]

VON KARMA:
Whoa! What are you—!?

MAYA: [During glissandi]

N-Nick! Run!!!

[As soon as glissandi are about to reach their highest point, VON KARMA shocks MAYA.]

MAYA:
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

[MAYA collapses]

PHOENIX:
M-Maya!

[Underscoring returns during or slightly after PHOENIX’S last line]

VON KARMA:
Now… Where were we?

[sung]
If you’ll excuse me
I’ll leave with this missive
I won’t abuse thee
‘Long as you’re submissive

Like Yogi and Hammond—

Each one was a pawn—
Now I’ll take that letter
And, with that, I’m gone!

PHOENIX: [spoken]
I can’t let you do that, von Karma!

VON KARMA:
Enough! Foolish fool! I won’t let you deter me any longer! OUT OF MY WAY!

[VON KARMA shocks PHOENIX]

PHOENIX:
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

[PHOENIX collapses, but doesn’t faint yet. HE looks up at VON KARMA, leering down at
HIM. VON KARMA grabs the letter and chuckles to himself.]

VON KARMA: [Condescendingly, during high string tremolo]

See you in court, Mr. Wright.

[Diabolical laughter during final chord, as VON KARMA stuns PHOENIX for the final time.
The screen fades to black, with VON KARMA’S laugh, the crackling of electricity, and the final
chord echoing into nothingness as PHOENIX passes out.

Several seconds pass. Finally, a blurry view of the ceiling is seen as PHOENIX’S eyelids open.
It comes into focus after several blinks on the next line.]

PHOENIX:
Ungh… Maya… Maya!

[We see PHOENIX get up and look around, to see MAYA still on the ground. THEY are both
quite burnt looking. PHOENIX goes over to MAYA]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Maya? Maya, can you hear me?

[PHOENIX takes off his singed jacket and takes her by the shoulders to look at her directly in
the unmoving face]
PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Come on Maya, please open your eyes! I don’t know what to do! Please!

[MAYA’S eyelids flutter]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Maya?

MAYA:
Nick…

[PHOENIX breathes a sigh of relief. MAYA’S eyes tentatively open all the way]

PHOENIX:
Are you alright?

MAYA: [Weakly]
The letter… Nick, did he take it?

PHOENIX: [Reluctant with the truth]

Uh, well… Yeah, actually. He did.
[Quickly] But Maya, I’m just thankful you’re alright!

[MAYA doesn’t even hear this last part. SHE starts to tear up but tries not to show it]

MAYA:
I’m completely useless.

[PHOENIX opens his mouth to protest, but MAYA cuts him off, sitting up, her voice cracking a
little]

MAYA [CONT’D]:
No, you know it’s true. I’m no help as a lawyer, I couldn’t stop von Karma, I can’t even channel
my sister when we need her! I wish I hadn’t woken up…

PHOENIX:
No, that’s not tr—

[PHOENIX notices something MAYA’S been holding, maybe nervously playing with]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
What’s that?

[As if noticing it for the first time, MAYA hands the object to PHOENIX.]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]: [Reading]

DL-6 Incident, Evidence No. 7. Taken from the heart of Gregory Edgeworth.

[PHOENIX thinks]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Von Karma must have been holding this when you jumped at him…

[PHOENIX stands up and talks to MAYA]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Maya, I don’t know how we’re going to do this. But somehow, we’re going to win tomorrow’s
trial. Because no matter what, justice will always prevail. Your sister told me that. [Beat] That’s
what we’re fighting for.

[Cue “Tomorrow’s Trial”]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Because the only thing that will save Edgeworth is the truth.

[As the music starts, the camera zooms out of image of PHOENIX standing and MAYA, looking
defeated in the RECORDS ROOM.

The scene transitions to a zoom in of EDGEWORTH sitting in his cell alone. EDGEWORTH
begins to sing]

EDGEWORTH:
Tomorrow’s trial,
My doom will be decided
Let truth not be misguided
Guilty of at least one crime
My father’s death, the blame is mine

[Cut to PHOENIX, who kneels back down to MAYA on “now”. HE sings to HER]

PHOENIX:
Tomorrow’s Trial
Von Karma can’t stop us now
We’ll see his shamed final bow!
We must go and save our friend
Tomorrow this nightmare will end

[With determination, PHOENIX grabs his jacket, and moves out of the room into the hallway.
MAYA stops at the doorway. PHOENIX turns to look at her. Medium close-up profile view of
MAYA, still tearing up, not looking PHOENIX in the eye. A transparent hand goes comfortingly
to her shoulder: MIA’S]
MIA:
Even though it all seems bleak

MAYA:
I’m sorry, Nick, I’ve let him win

[Now MIA pulls closer into the frame, we can see her face now as she sings in MAYA’S ear]

MIA:
There is hope that you can seek

MAYA:
Now that letter is with him

[Throughout the next line MIA pulls away, and MAYA is alone by “free”]

MIA:
You just need the truth and then you’ll both be free

[MAYA looks up at PHOENIX with a small smile. PHOENIX smiles back, and turns to leave,
but bumps into someone unseen before by the camera- a very distraught GUMSHOE]

GUMSHOE: [Panicked]
Mr. Edgeworth must be freed!

[PHOENIX walks past him; HE sings these lines to himself, GUMSHOE merely accentuates
PHOENIX’S realization of how grave the situation by trailing behind him and popping over his
shoulder with unneeded “advice” as all three sweep through the halls of the POLICE CENTER]

PHOENIX:
This is my last chance

GUMSHOE:
Give it your all, pal

PHOENIX:
My final performance

GUMSHOE:
It’s you that he needs

PHOENIX:
Will I be able to hold my stance?

[GUMSHOE, MAYA and PHOENIX end outside on the steps, and it is beginning to snow]
GUMSHOE:
We’re all counting on you

[GUMSHOE gestures to a large crowd of characters we have met before: LARRY, LOTTA,
WILL maybe, any OTHERS we feel would be appropriate. POLICE OFFICERS, EMPLOYEES
of various public offices, anyone who would care about EDGEWORTH]

CROWD:
Now is the time
It’s all or nothing…

PHOENIX:
Tomorrow's trial!

[PHOENIX looks up at the midnight sky, catching snow in his hands. At the first note of the
VON KARMA section, direct cut to a grotesque gargoyle in a position similar to PHOENIX’S.
The camera pans over to a well-lit mansion, the VON KARMA ESTATE, which the gargoyle is
guarding the pathway to. Transition to inside the house, VON KARMA is happily pounding
away on a massive organ in a gargantuan library with a roaring fire. We see HIM over top the
keyboard, grinning like a maniac, maybe the stun gun sitting nearby next to a framed picture of
YOUNG FRANZISKA]

VON KARMA:
My revenge for 15 years ago
Will finally begin
My preparations are perfect
I’ve done anything to win

[Cut the back of EDGEWORTH’S profile as HE sits on his bed]

EDGEWORTH:
Tomorrow’s Trial!

[As PHOENIX, MAYA, and GUMSHOE walk by, with PHOENIX putting his jacket over
MAYA’S shoulders, we close up on LARRY and LOTTA at the front of the crowd, who turn to
each other and sing matter-of-factly]

LARRY/LOTTA:
We’ve done all we could,
Facts without lies
If he wins this fight
Then freedom’s the prize

[GUMSHOE stops PHOENIX and MAYA as they reach the road and tells them one-on-one]

GUMSHOE:
Without your help pal
This whole thing’s a bust! [Pats PHOENIX on the shoulder]
Mr. Wright, you’re the
Kinda guy we trust. [Indicates CROWD on “we”]

PHOENIX: [Slowly, with meaning to CROWD but not loudly]

I won’t let you down.

[PHOENIX looks at the courtroom. As the camera closes up on the emblem of scales on the
outside of the steps, the CROWD sings]

CROWD + MIA + GUMSHOE + JUDGE:

Tomorrow it will be finished

[Cut to image of CROWD singing to PHEONIX, breath coming out of their mouths]

CROWD + MIA + GUMSHOE + JUDGE [CONT’D]:

The final courtroom brawl

[Cut to EDEWORTH with head in hands on side of bed]

CROWD + MIA + GUMSHOE + JUDGE [CONT’D]:

The defendant’s destination

[EDGEWORTH looks up, maybe a single tear or welling up, but more resolute than we have
ever seen HIM]

CROWD + MIA + GUMSHOE + JUDGE [CONT’D]:

Through tears and desperation

[During the next line, there are flashes of worried faces in the crowd. By now, everyone but
PHOENIX is singing]

CROWD + MIA + GUMSHOE + JUDGE [CONT’D]:

Will there be justice for all?

[Sung in quartet. When the group is on camera, their vocal section is highlighted]

PHOENIX/MAYA:
This nightmare will end
Unravel this mystery
We will save our friend
And we’ll get the victory

[PHOENIX and MAYA look at each other, his hand on her shoulder as they look into the future
on “victory”]
VON KARMA:
My revenge for 15 years ago
Will finally begin
I’m perfection incarnate and
I’ve done anything to win….
My revenge for 15 years ago

[We see VON KARMA looking out through a second-story window in the snow, he clenches his
fist with relish on “finally”]

VON KARMA [CONT’D]:

Will finally begin
I’m perfection incarnate and
I’ve done anything to win….

[We see LOTTA and LARRY high-fiving and congratulating each other, maybe LOTTA
playfully punches LARRY’S arm, LARRY punches her back, and LOTTA punches him again,
sending him off camera]

LARRY/LOTTA:
We’ve done all we could,
Facts without lies
If he wins this fight
Then freedom’s the prize
We’ve done all we could,
Facts without lies
If he wins this fight
Then freedom’s the prize

GUMSHOE:
Without your help pal
This whole thing’s a bust!
Mr, Wright, you’re the

[GUMSHOE in profile looks confident in his choice, tugs his lapels on “kinda”]

GUMSHOE [CONT’D]:
Kinda guy we trust.
Without your help pal
This whole thing’s a bust!
Mr, Wright, you’re the
Kinda guy we trust.

[EGDEWORTH gets up from where we last saw him, on the bed, head in hands, and walks over
to the window to see the snow gathering outside the glass]
EDGEWORTH:
15 years, I’m out of time
Tomorrow, I will face my crime

[PHOENIX runs up the courtroom steps to face the crowd on “be”]

ALL:
Victory will be

[We see VON KARMA in an objection or snap pose, then switch to PHOENIX, maybe with
both fists clenched, shouting his note]

PHOENIX/VON KARMA:
Mine!

[The camera switches to the back of PHOENIX’S head, and drops to his ankles, where we can
see the crowd singing softly to each other, an almost unnoticeable pan in]

ALL:
Innocent or guilty?

[We see anonymous lips singing, maybe even in another’s ear]

ALL [CONT’D]:
Whose is the sin?

[PHOENIX drops his intense pose and is joined by MAYA in a final reconciliatory hug, and
THEY start down the stairs]

ALL [CONT’D]:
Wright or Von Karma?

[The image finally changes to an aerial view, still quite close up, of the crowd, with GUMSHOE
at the back and PHOENIX and MAYA walking from the front, around the side. Pan out, snow is
still falling]

ALL [CONT’D]:
Who will win?........

[As the final note fades out, the view rights itself to show the night sky, with the moon and snow
falling. In the last repetition, it smoothly fades to an image of the sun shining in a clear sky.

The next morning, DEFENDANT’S LOBBT]

PHOENIX: [To himself.]

Alright, today’s the day… the last one… I have to do this today… no witness…
[Starts to sweat.]… no hope…
[Starts to grab his arm like Edgeworth.] ... I can do this... I can do this...

[MAYA’s hand shocks PHOENIX.]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
GAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! WHAT DID I DO TO YOU!?

MAYA:
Sorry Nick…I was trying to pat your shoulder to make you feel better, but I guess I’m still
discharging…

PHOENIX:
I’m starting to think your topknot stores electricity.

MAYA:
It’s not a topknot!

PHOENIX:
Well… thanks Maya. At least I am now fully charged for court!

[Pause. Crickets, if possible.]

MAYA:
My toes feel tingly.

PHOENIX: [To himself]

My comedy has that effect on people…

[Enter EDGEWORTH, in cuffs, MEEKINS leading him. MEEKINS attempts to unlock the
handcuffs. EDGEWORTH just frees himself, the cuffs not being locked in the first place.
MEEKINS leaves in a sad state.]

EDGEWORTH: [Grim]
Today’s the last day, Wright.

PHOENIX: [Sarcastically]
Thanks for the vote of confidence, Edgeworth.

EDGEWORTH:
No, I’m just—

[MAYA touches EDGEWORTH’S arm]

EDGEWORTH [CONT’D]:
GAH! What on Earth are you doing!?

MAYA:
Well, you were… and then I was… never mind, I’m still discharging…

EDGEWORTH:
The culprit may be the topknot. I’d take a gander at that, were I you.

MAYA: [Sadly.]
It’s not a topknot…

[Awkward silence.]

PHOENIX:
Maybe you should try discharging outside.

MAYA: [Excited again. Nods.]

Alright!

[MAYA exits. PHOENIX and EDGEWORTH watch her leave. As MAYA nears the door,
GUMSHOE is shown nearing the door as well.]

PHOENIX:
Try not to electrocute anyone on your way out!

MAYA:
Right!

[MAYA touches the doorknob at the same time as GUMSHOE. We don’t see GUMSHOE for
this part, just his voice, along with PHOENIX and EDGEWORTH’S reaction.]

GUMSHOE: [Offscreen]
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA,
PAL!

[MAYA opens the door to see a roasted GUMSHOE. SHE moves passed him slowly, and
GUMSHOE gets up, and moves to PHOENIX and EDGEWORTH.]

GUMSHOE [CONT’D]:
What’s gotten into that girl?

PHOENIX: [Sadly.]
About sixty thousand volts of I really should’ve seen it coming…

[GUMSHOE and EDGEWORTH look questioningly, not knowing what happened.]

EDGEWORTH: [To GUMSHOE.]
So, did you find the witness?

GUMSHOE: [Happily.]
Have no fear, Gumshoe is here! I bagged him like I said I would! It took all night, but it was
totally worth it!

PHOENIX:
You must be tired, Gumshoe.

GUMSHOE:
Yeah, but that shock wiped that out! Hey, where is she, anyway?

[Blackout. Three seconds later, the lights come back on.]

EDGEWORTH:
That answers the question quite aptly.

[VON KARMA is suddenly behind them, presumably the entire time. EDGEWORTH turns to
see him.]

EDGEWORTH [CONT’D]:
… Sir…

VON KARMA:
Hmph… I have nothing to say to you, amateur. I'm here for this little insect over here.

PHOENIX:
My name’s—

VON KARMA:
—Insect. I came to congratulate you for lasting this long, attorney. It’s a true rarity that one lasts
this long against me. Be a good little attorney AND cross-examine to your heart’s content. You
have my word as a prosecutor that you can ask as many frivolous questions as possible.

GUMSHOE: [Shouting.]
You bet he will, pal! He’ll definitely win!

VON KARMA:
Ah, Detective Dick Gumshoe… cavorting about with the defense team, I see. I hope you are
looking forward to your next several paychecks. I know I am.

[VON KARMA laughs as he makes his way to the courtroom, exiting.]

GUMSHOE:
No! Plea—aww…
PHOENIX:
Wow…well, it’s just one more pay cut, right?

GUMSHOE: [Tearing.]
But I’m already down to instant noodles paid mostly by coupons I find in discarded
newspapers…

PHOENIX:
Is that even legal?

GUMSHOE:
Sure, pal! It's curtiledge!

PHOENIX:
Did Gumshoe just—

EDGEWORTH:
No time. Court is about to begin.

[MAYA runs up, her usual self.]

MAYA:
Did I miss anything?

PHOENIX:
I’ll explain in a second. We’ve got to get to court.

MAYA:
Alright…let’s go.

[MAYA, GUMSHOE, PHOENIX, and EDGEWORTH walk to the double doors to the
courtroom Wizard of Oz style.]

Week 10

[GUMSHOE, MAYA, PHOENIX, and EDGEWORTH enter, GUMSHOE heading to the gallery
while the others go to the defense bench. EDGEWORTH sits down, deep in thought and
seemingly oblivious to everything around him. The JUDGE bangs his gavel.]

JUDGE:
Court is back in session for State v. Edgeworth.

VON KARMA:
The prosecution is perfectly prepared. And the defense is… ready.
PHOENIX: [Desk slam.]
Hey, that’s my line!

VON KARMA:
Indeed it is worm.

JUDGE:
Any opening statements, Mr. von Karma?

VON KARMA:
Last night, the police department was able to find the witness they so carelessly misplaced.
[Finger snap] I will personally see to it that the responsible parties will be punished!

GUMSHOE: [off camera]

Awww!

JUDGE:
Very well. Bring in the witness!

[DUSTIN PRINCE brings in YOGI, and leads him to the witness stands, without saying a word,
and leaves. YOGI instantly sleeps.]

VON KARMA:
Members of the court, if you will recall the witness, you will remember he witnessed the crime
from his boat shop. He neither remembers his identity or past beyond the passed few years.

PHOENIX: [Desk slam.]

Witness! Why did you run off?

VON KARMA:
OBJECTION! It seems the defense has no patience. The witness will testify to that matter
presently.

YOGI: [Awakens.]
Ah, Keith has always been impatient. That’s why he was never popular with the ladies.

JUDGE:
Defense attorneys tend to have that problem, I think.

PHOENIX: [To himself.]

Nobody loves me…

JUDGE:
Will the witness please testify to the matter?
[Flash pan to YOGI. He’s asleep again.]

VON KARMA: [Von karma snap ™.]

Witness! Testify now!

YOGI: [Wakes suddenly.]

Whuzzaat? Alright, Bob.

[VON KARMA glares angrily.]

YOGO [CONT’D]:
I’m getting to it!

VON KARMA:
Then do so, “Uncle”.

YOGI:
I went to uh… buy some bird seed for Polly. I figured that I’m not really involved in this whole
“murder” thing anyways. Don’t I need one of those lo-co-'motives' or something? As you see,
I’m not a conductor, unless we’re talking about the gravy train. And with some…biscuits…
and…

[YOGI falls asleep again.]

JUDGE:
The defense may cross-examine the…testimony.

PHOENIX:
Gladly. First of all, weren’t just “taking off”, you were skipping town!

VON KARMA:
OBJECTION! No need to jump to conclusions. Especially without evidence.

PHOENIX:
Well… I doubt he was getting birdseed. Where’s the receipt?

YOGI:
I never got to it.

PHOENIX:
But there’s a pet shop just around the corner!

YOGI:
But Polly likes this… um… imported bird seed. From um… Idaho… and only one shop will sell
it, and it’s across town.
PHOENIX:
Then how come you weren’t found in that direction?

YOGI:
I get lost sometimes.

VON KARMA:
As we’ve already established, the defendant has
[a threatening reminder towards YOGI] memory problems.

PHOENIX:
Nice try, von Karma, but no one will believe that!

JUDGE:
I see!

GUMSHOE: [From Gallery, right after JUDGE.]

So he was lost!

LARRY: [Also from Gallery, right after GUMSHOE.]

It makes so much sense now! Why didn’t I think of that? Nick, you need to lawyer better!

PHOENIX:
… Never mind. [Beat.] Wait… memory problems?

YOGI: [Teeters and totters.]

… Ayup.

PHOENIX:
So how can you be so sure that you’re not part of the incident!?

YOGI:
Well-

PHOENIX:
Or maybe…You’re lying! You know who you are! In fact, I bet you even have a loco- um, I
mean, a motive! … Anyway! You have a grudge against my client and the victim. Perhaps…an
agenda of vengeance?

VON KARMA:
OBJECTION! This foolishness has gone on long enough. Need I remind you that he’s lost
memory of everything beyond the past few years? Amateur!

PHOENIX:
OBJECTION! The witness knows everything! The only question is, why would he lie about it!?
VON KARMA:
Silence! [VON KARMA snap ™.] Ask the same question a thousand times, and a thousand
times you’ll receive the same answer. This line of questioning is a fool’s errand.

JUDGE:
Mr. Wright…you keep suggesting that the witness doesn’t have any issue with his memory.
Does the identity of the witness have any bearing on this case?

PHOENIX:
Indeed it does your honor.

JUDGE:
Well then, do you happen to know the identity of the witness?

VON KARMA:
Ha! This should be worth a laugh.

PHOENIX: [Nods.]
Yes, I do, your honor, despite how the prosecution scoffs. His name is Yanni Yogi, a former
court bailiff and defendant of the DL-6 incident!

JUDGE:
DL-6? Ah, the murder in the courthouse! But what would that mean?

PHOENIX:
Everything, your honor, it means everything! That would give him a motive!

VON KARMA:
OBJECTION! Intriguing… Evel Knievel couldn’t have made that jump. This man is Yanni
Yogi? However fascinating, you’ll need to present evidence.
[Pause.] What? Nothing? Did they teach you absolutely nothing in law school? In a court of law,
evidence is required. Anything else beyond that is as worthless as the good Detective in the
gallery.

PHOENIX:
Simple! We check for fingerprints!

VON KARMA:
Tsk, tsk, tsk…I’m very sorry, insect. The witness has no fingerprints.

YOGI: [Awakens.]
Mph? Yeah… before the restaurant, I worked at a chemical plant. Burned them right off, ayup…

PHOENIX:
WHAT!? Well then what do we do now?
VON KARMA:
It looks like we can’t prove the witness’ identity. How very sad. It seems this case has just been
decided.

MAYA: [Out of nowhere]

We know who he is!

VON KARMA:
No one can testify to his identity!

MAYA:
But-

VON KARMA:
No one!

MAYA: [Hides under the desk]

Eep!

VON KARMA: [Laughs.]

Oh, but it is amusing to watch you flounder. Why don’t we call the parrot to the stand for some
comic relief while we’re at it?

PHOENIX:
Very funny, von Karma, you’re just a-[Pause]

MAYA: [Cautiously, coming out from under desk]

… Nick? Are you alright?

PHOENIX: [In a hushed tone.]

I’ve got it…

EDGEWORTH: [Snapping out of his reverie. Crossed arms.]

Wright? What are you doing?

PHOENIX: [Cocky grin]

The defense would like to take Mr. von Karma up on his proposal!

EDGEWORTH: [Eyes widening]

You wouldn't...

VON KARMA:
What? What proposal?

PHOENIX:
I’d like to cross-examine the witness’ parrot!
[The crowd goes wild. JUDGE bangs his gavel.]

EDGEWORTH: [Over the crowd]

You can't do that! This is a mockery of the judicial system!

PHOENIX: [Smirk]
What are you gonna do? Dock my pay?

EDGEWORTH:
And that is why you should have your clients pay you in advance, Wright.

JUDGE:
Order! I said order! Um…what do you think, Mr. von Karma?

VON KARMA:
Do you need even ask? This is a complete farce! I object!

PHOENIX:
OBJECTION! You suggested that I could cross-examine the parrot, and I have the right as an
attorney to take you up on that suggestion…right?

VON KARMA:
If you are really that foolhardy, then be my guest. Though be ready for the consequences if you
end up wasting my time.

PHOENIX:
Let the parrot take the stand!

EDGEWORTH:
Fine… just tell me when this catastrophe is over…

[EDGEWORTH physically turns away. MAYA begins to try to comfort EDGEWORTH by

rubbing his shoulders and back. EDGEWORTH merely emos, ignoring her attempts.]

VON KARMA:
Indeed…Bailiff! Bring in the parrot!

[DUSTIN brings in the parrot, and sets her on the edge of the stand.]

JUDGE:
My, that’s quite the bird! Does it have a name? [Pause.] Hello? [Pause.] …Mr. Wright, this
witness is ignoring me!

PHOENIX:
Um…will the witness please testify?
[Silence.]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
Argh… Maya, could you talk to her?

MAYA:
What do you want me to say?

PHOENIX:
Remember a while back? Ask Polly that one question.

MAYA:
Oh! Good thinking, Nick! Polly! Poooolly! Have we forgotten something?

POLLY:
…SQUAWK! Worthless insects! SQUAWK!

MAYA:
…What happened?

VON KARMA: [Dark laugh]

Anything the matter, insects?

PHOENIX:
He…retrained the bird…

MAYA:
What do we do now, Nick? He can even predict your ... 'specialness!'

PHOENIX:
Maya, instead of going on about my super lawyer powers, how about you ask the parrot her
name?

MAYA:
Nick, how does—

PHOENIX:
Just trust me, Maya. Please…I need your help.

MAYA: [Nods, becoming very happy that she’s actually useful.]

Alright! Polly~! Polly~! What’s your name?

POLLY:
Polly! Polly! SQUAWK!
JUDGE:
Mr. Wright, how does this relate to the identity of the boat shop owner?

PHOENIX:
Your honor, if you look at this case file for DL-6,

[PHOENIX hands the file to bailiff, who hands it to JUDGE]

PHOENIX [CONT’D]:
in the suspect data section, you’ll see that soon after Yanni Yogi, the suspect arrested, had a
fiancée that killed herself soon afterwards. Her name was “Polly Jenkins”.

JUDGE:
Polly…Jenkins… Polly! Like that little pink fellow on the witness stand!

PHOENIX:
Exactly, your honor, he named the parrot after her.

VON KARMA:
Bah! A mere coincidence, nothing more. My granddaughter has a little puppy named “Phoenix”.
Does that make that seven year old your fiancée?

PHOENIX:
Well, she’s only seven and—

EDGEWORTH: [Turns around to shake off Maya]

That was rhetorical, Wright.

[EDGEWORTH turns back around. MAYA gets the hint and, looking dejected, leaves
EDGEWORTH alone]

PHOENIX:
Of course… I knew that…

JUDGE:
It doesn’t quite hold as much water as I thought…

PHOENIX:
Wait your honor! One more question!

VON KARMA:
Alright then, you get one more question.

PHOENIX:
Whew…
VON KARMA:
And only one.

PHOENIX:
Urp!

MAYA:
Don’t let him get to you like that! What’s the question?

PHOENIX:
Um…
[Inspiration strikes.] The safe combination.

MAYA:
Okay. Polly! What’s the safe combination?

POLLY:
Twelve-twenty-eight!

JUDGE:
My! What a reckless parrot. What bearing does this have on the case, Mr. Wright?

PHOENIX:
You know that DL-6 file I gave you?

VON KARMA:
What’s your obsession with that case, peon?

PHOENIX:
Your honor, turn to the case summary page.

JUDGE:
I see… um…what am I seeing?

PHOENIX:
Look at the date of the crime! It was on the 28th of December, the twelfth month. Twelve-
twenty-eight!

JUDGE:
Ah! Now I see. So the person who made the code to the safe set it for that date!

PHOENIX:
And that safe was found in the witness’s house!

VON KARMA:
OBJECTION! This is not decisive, tangible proof in the least! I set my ATM card’s number to
“0001” because I’m number one! That has absolutely nothing to do with the date of anything.
Objection sustained!

JUDGE: [Long pause, actually deep in thought.]

… I’m afraid not.

VON KARMA:
How dare you defy me! This is a mere coincidence, strike this foolish down effective
immediately!

JUDGE:
True, Mr. von Karma that is a coincidence. However, two coincidences seem like a pattern to
me.

VON KARMA:
What are you saying?

JUDGE:
Bailiff! Recall the witness to the stand.

VON KARMA: [as YOGI is brought to the stand, looking unsure, but not in his usually super-
loopy way]
This is an outrage! This witness is mentally unsound, he is unfit to provide testimony-

YOGI: [cutting him off, lucid]

No… it’s okay

[YOGI straightens up, his eyes uncross, etc. and it’s like we are looking at a completely different
person. We see expressions of shock on the faces of PHOENIX and MAYA, as well as a more
angry shock on VON KARMA’S face. THE JUDGE is surprised as well. Polly joins him on his
arm.]

JUDGE:
Witness… what is your name?

VON KARMA:
Objection! Your Honor! He doesn’t remember his name! He can’t remember his name…!

YOGI: [to VON KARMA]

I do. I’m done playing this game.
[HE turns to face the court] It’s true. I did it. I killed Robert Hammond. [Beat] 15 years ago…
Hammond told the court I was mentally unsound. He told me it was the only way I would get off
the hook for the murder of Gregory Edgeworth. I was innocent, I swear! But there was no way
anyone would believe me. We won in court that day. But I lost everything.

[Flash image of YOUNGER YOGI in uniform]

YOGI [V.O, CONT’D]:
My job,

[Image of YOUNGER YOGI kissing an attractive woman on the cheek]

YOGI [V.O, CONT’D]:

my fiancée,

[Flash close-up of YOUNGER YOGI’S face]

YOGI [V.O, CONT’D]:even my identity.

[The image of YOUNGER YOGI slowly fades into the face of the old man we know]

YOGI [CONT’D]:
For 15 years I’ve had to play the role of this crazy old man. It was the only thing that saved me.
But at the same time, it destroyed me. So when I got a letter in the mail… With a pistol and a
meticulous plan to take revenge on all those who ruined my life, I didn’t care who sent it. I
followed the orders happily, and now finally, I am content in knowing I have dragged Robert
Hammond and Miles Edgeworth into the hell they created for me! [Pause] I have no regrets.

[We pan out from YOGI to reveal a courtroom in stunned silence]

JUDGE: [still in complete shock]

Well then… Bailiff! Have this man taken away!

[MEN IN UNIFORM handcuff YOGI as MAYA turns to PHOENIX:]

MAYA:
I just don’t understand one thing. Why would he want revenge on Edgeworth?

[At the name “EDGEWORTH”, YOGI, is walking past the defense’s bench. HE hears the name,
and looks over at THEM to call out]

YOGI:
Why don’t you ask him yourself?

[PHOENIX looks confusedly at MAYA as VON KARMA calls out]

VON KARMA:
Well Judge? What are you doing? [snap] Render your verdict!

JUDGE:
Then…Miles Edgeworth is…
VON KARMA:
Innocent in this case, yes. Get on with it, man!

JUDGE: [clearing his throat]

Very well. This court finds the defendant, Miles Edgeworth, NOT GUILTY.

[Yelling from MAYA and GUMSHOE, relief from PHOENIX, with a shot of EDGEWORTH
from behind, standing up, grasping himself tightly.]

JUDGE [CONT’D]:
That is all. Court is adjourned.

[Fade to black]

EDGEWORTH: [big calligraphic word bubble against the black, if we haven’t already assumed
that]
OBJECTION!

[Flash the JUDGE, PHOENIX, and MAYA looking shocked, VON KARMA grinning
knowingly, then EDGEWORTH standing at the defense bench.]

EDGEWORTH: [deskslam!]
Your Honor, I object to your judgment! I am not innocent at all!

MAYA:
Mr. Edgeworth! What are you doing?

EDGEWORTH:
As we have just heard, Yanni Yogi killed Robert Hammond for revenge. But revenge for what?

PHOENIX: [deskslamming in front of/beside Edgeworth]

OBJECTION! The verdict has already been passed! I object to Edgeworth’s outburst--

VON KARMA: [saw this coming miles away, no pun intended]

OBJECTION.
[Finger wag as he speaks] Didn’t something like this happen yesterday? I believe a certain
witness raised an objection after a guilty verdict had been passed. [Snap] Miles Edgeworth must
be heard.

JUDGE:
Indeed. It is our duty to hear every witness out. Mr. Edgeworth, go ahead. Mr. Wright won’t stop
you.

EDGEWORTH:
Yes, Your Honor.
[EDGEWORTH shoulders by PHOENIX, standing up straight]

EDGEWORTH [CONT’D]:
Yanni Yogi wanted revenge on the two men who ruined his life. Robert Hammond, who
convinced him to plead insanity—and, I have just realized, on me. I--I didn’t want to believe it,
but if Yanni Yogi was not the killer in DL-6, everything becomes perfectly clear. The murderer,
the real criminal of the DL-6 incident…It was me!
[Mutters from the gallery. EDGEWORTH talks over it.] Your Honor! I wish to confess my guilt
in the case of the murder of Gregory Edgeworth, the statute of limitations of which ends today!

[The mutters break out into genuine uproar.]

JUDGE: [banging the gavel]

ORDER! ORDER!

[The room gradually quiets]

JUDGE [CONT’D]:
I confess, this incident is completely unprecedented…I--I’m not certain how to proceed--

VON KARMA: [interrupting with a snap]

It is simple, Your Honor. We hold a trial. Right here. Right now.

JUDGE: [blinking]
Er. Very well. Is the prosecution prepared?

VON KARMA: [grin]

Always, Your Honor.

JUDGE:
And the defense?

EDGEWORTH:
I’m sorry, Wright. I’ve wasted all your effort.

[PHOENIX is silent, opening his briefcase and putting the Hammond evidence away]

EDGEWORTH [CONT’D]:
I can handle this. You don’t have to stay—

PHOENIX: [calling to the JUDGE]

I need a moment to get my case ready, Your Honor.

MAYA:
Nick, what case? Mr. Edgeworth’s already confessed!
PHOENIX:
I know. Edgeworth, I don’t believe you.

EDGEWORTH;
Wh-what?

PHOENIX:
You said you remember a nightmare. But that’s all it is. A dream. It isn’t real. Everything I need
is right here.
[HE holds up his pathetic skinny DL-6 case file] I’ll prove your innocence. Trust me.

EDGEWORTH:
Wr-Wright…

PHOENIX: [smiles at EDGEWORTH, then turns back to the JUDGE]

The defense is ready, Your Honor!

JUDGE:
Very well. [gavel bang] Court is now in session for the trial of Miles Edgeworth.

VON KARMA: [HE snaps in command, and EDGEWORTH takes the stand]
State your name and occupation.

EDGEWORTH:
Miles Edgeworth. I am a prosecuting attorney.

VON KARMA:
Mr. Edgeworth. Let’s do this by the book. Fifteen years ago you mistakenly killed your father,
Gregory, in this very courthouse. Is that correct?

EDGEWORTH:
It is.

VON KARMA:
Then testify about this matter to the court.

EDGEWORTH:
That day, I had gone to the courthouse to observe one of my father’s trials. I don’t recall very
much…except that my father lost, and Mr. von Karma was the prosecuting attorney.

[Murmurs from the gallery. VON KARMA looks stern, but calm. HE nods for EDGEWORTH to
continue]

EDGEWORTH [CONT’D]:
As we went to leave, an earthquake struck, trapping us in the elevator with the bailiff, Yanni
Yogi. We were fine at first, but as time passed and no one came to help, my father and Mr. Yogi
began to argue. Just then, something heavy fell at my feet.

VON KARMA:
And what was that?

EDGEWORTH:
A pistol. The safety must have come off when the bailiff dropped it.

PHOENIX:
Hold it! Did you know at the time that it was a pistol?

EDGEWORTH:
I…I think I knew it was dangerous. But the air was so thick, and they were fighting—I panicked.
I picked it up and threw it at Mr. Yogi.

PHOENIX:
That’s understandable—you were only nine--

VON KARMA: [snapping for attention]

Mr. Wright. Surely you know that murder is murder, no matter what the circumstances.

PHOENIX:
I—I know.

VON KARMA:
Then let Mr. Edgeworth finish his testimony.
[To EDGEWORTH] What happened after you threw the pistol?

EDGEWORTH:
I heard a single gunshot, and a terrible scream. That’s all I can remember. I wasn’t even sure of
that until today.

PHOENIX:
Because you passed out due to oxygen deprivation?

EDGEWORTH:
Yes.

VON KARMA:
Bah! The same excuse used by the bailiff!

PHOENIX:
Hold on, Mr. von Karma. Edgeworth. You’re sure you only heard *one* gunshot?

EDGEWORTH:
Yes. One gunshot, then that scream…
PHOENIX:
And then you lost consciousness?

EDGEWORTH:
There’s nothing else. My next memory is of waking in the hospital.

PHOENIX: [muttered, ambiguous]

I’ve got you, Edgeworth. I’ve got you.
[Louder] Ladies and gentlemen of the court. Miles Edgeworth recalls only one gunshot. And yet
this police report states that the murder weapon was fired *twice.* Furthermore, this photograph
of the crime scene

[PHOENIX produces the photograph, which fills the screen]

PHOENIX [V.O, CONT’D]:

shows *two* bullet holes—one in the heart of Gregory Edgeworth, another in the elevator door.
I ask you—where did this second bullet come from?

[Back to the courtroom, crowd mutters]

JUDGE:
O-order! Mr. Wright! Just what are you driving at?

PHOENIX:
It’s simple, Your Honor. At the time of the incident, two shots were fired. One went into
Gregory Edgeworth’s heart. The other hit the elevator door. Remember that the defendant lost
consciousness after the shot he fired rang out. In conclusion! We must agree that the second shot
was fired by someone else!

JUDGE:
But who could this someone else be?

PHOENIX: [cocky]
The real murderer, of course!

VON KARMA:
OBJECTION.
[Beat, sleeve grab] I knew I should have stepped in before your wild fantasies got out of hand.
Mr. Wright. Let me call your attention once more to that little case file you love so much. Right
there, on the very first page—what does it say?

PHOENIX: [reading]
“No other evidence was found at the scene?”

VON KARMA:
Precisely. No second bullet was found in that elevator.

PHOENIX:
But the bullet hole--!

VON KARMA: [smoothly interrupting]

Might have been made at any time.

PHOENIX:
That’s ridiculous!

VON KARMA: [finger wag]

Alas, you should have done better research, my dear defense attorney. Your Honor, I’m sorry to
have wasted the court’s time with this farce of a cross-examination.

JUDGE:
…I must say, it seems the prosecution is correct. No objections?

EDGEWORTH:
None, Your Honor. Everything von Karma has said is true.

JUDGE:
You killed your father?

MAYA: [frantically whispered]

Nick! Turn this thing around!

EDGEWORTH:
Yes.

PHOENIX:
I… can’t. [looks up at MAYA] It looks like I was wrong. I’ve got nothing to object with.

MAYA:
But… no! This can’t be it! It can’t end this way.

PHOENIX:
I think it is. I’ve got nothing left. [looks at VON KARMA] He’s finally won. He’s countered and
disproved every claim I’ve made in court. There’s nothing else I can do to stop him.
Edgeworth… Mia… I’m sorry I’ve failed you all. [self reflective] I just can't believe this is how
it's all ending...

MIA'S VOICE: [All flashy and ghost-like]

...No... Not yet ...!

PHOENIX: [Turns to look at Maya, to see if she's summoned Mia]

Maya?!

MAYA: [Still very obviously is herself]

What are you looking at me for? Nick, DO something! [Tugs on PHOENIX's arm]

MIA'S VOICE:
... Object... [PHOENIX is looking around the courtroom, very confused. We also see shots of the
faces of people who are worrying about EDGEWORTH] Your only ... weapon...

PHOENIX: [Sits down]

MAYA:
Nick?!

MIA'S VOICE:
The... bullet...

[We see flashes of the crime scene, Edgeworth throwing the gun and a bullet flying through the
elevator door, the scream. The door opens with a 'ding', and we see a shadowy figure clutching
his shoulder, pick up the pistol, and aim it inside.]

MIA'S VOICE:
... second bullet...

[Flash again to zoom in on the shoulder the figure is clutching]

MIA'S VOICE:
... the bullet ... carried away ...

PHOENIX: [Surprised at his sudden revelation, HE stands up, questioning MIA'S VOICE in a
half-whisper.]
The murderer has the bullet!?

VON KARMA:
Your Honor, it's time to end this.

PHOENIX: [PHOENIX looks at EDGEWORTH one final time, and takes a deep breath, turns to
von Karma, quite as heroic as he'll ever be]
Objection! [The anxious faces look up again.] The second bullet *has* to exist!

JUDGE:
Mr. Wright, we've just heard evidence that the second bullet may *not* exist. Explain yourself!

PHOENIX:
The murderer took it from the crime scene.
VON KARMA:
Preposterous! It would take too long to search the crime scene for a bullet before the authorities
arrived--this was in a court house.

PHOENIX:
No, von Karma! He *had* to take the bullet. When Miles Edgeworth threw the gun, [Quick flash
of the gun going off, the scream] the bullet struck the murderer!

[The entire courtroom goes into stunned silence]

JUDGE:
But Mr. Wright, Miles Edgeworth and Yanni Yogi were both unharmed.

PHOENIX:
Exactly. The bullet went through the door and shot whoever was outside.

[Crowd murmurs]

JUDGE:
As unlikely as this sounds, I cannot deny the possibility.

VON KARMA:
Deny it! Deny it NOW! The case reports tell of nobody who was wounded--there was no
murderer and no evidence to suggest there ever was.

MAYA:
Nick. I just thought of something crazy. Do you remember what Mr. Grossberg said yesterday?

GROSSBERG: [Flashback]
Yes, Gregory Edgeworth dealt a blow to his perfect trial record. It must have been quite a shock,
because afterward he took a vacation for several months, you see. The first and last vacation he
ever took in all his years.

MAYA:
What if he took that vacation because...

PHOENIX:
... he was injured?

[PHOENIX AND MAYA both stare at each other in shock]

JUDGE:
Are you well enough to continue, Mr. Wright? You seem dazed.

PHOENIX:
The murderer... I *do* have a suspect, Your Honor. One. [Raises his shaky objection finger and
points it at von Karma.]

********

[The courtroom stares in the general direction of PHOENIX’S finger]

JUDGE:
Mr. Wright! I hope you realize that what you’re suggesting is incredibly serious.

VON KARMA:
Not to mention idiotic.

PHOENIX:
It all adds up. Mr. von Karma, you are the only person involved in this incident who had a
motive for this crime. Your perfect trial record was destroyed that day when an objection was
sustained against you: an objection raised by none other than Gregory Edgeworth. [Quickly
adding things together in his mind]. Of course, it makes sense that the victim wouldn’t name
you when he was summoned by a spirit channeler—he never saw you after he passed out in the
elevator!

MAYA:
Then... my mother..? [Sigh of relief]

PHOENIX:
Von Karma. You were walking by the elevator, possibly unaware it had broken down, and
through no fault of your own, were struck by the random path of the bullet that flew from the gun
thrown by the young Miles Edgeworth. [Still shot of Edgeworth throwing the gun]

JUDGE:
What? But Mr. von Karma was never admitted to a hospital after the DL-6 incident. Why risk a
fatal wound?

PHOENIX:
But it must not have been a fatal wound. It must have been a wound from which he could
recover on his own while he took a vacation for several months.

VON KARMA:
This is—never in my life …have I … [clutches shoulder]

PHOENIX:
In fact, the shot must have struck you in a non-vital area for this to have happened. Lucky you.
Otherwise the bullet the doctors removed might have been evidence that could have been used
against you.

VON KARMA: [Releases the grip on his shoulder]

PHOENIX:
When the elevator door opened, and you saw the man who ruined your perfection lying right
next to a gun, I must wonder, Prosecutor von Karma, what did you do?

JUDGE:
Mr. von Karma. Are these claims true?

[von Karma glances around the courtroom looking panicked at everybody’s stares for a moment,
then regains his composure.]

VON KARMA:
Whether or not I was at the court that day, you have no proof that places me at the elevator with
that same gun. After all, the DL-6 file went missing from the records room, didn’t it, you
cockroach?

PHOENIX:
Wrong. I have one piece of evidence from that file: the bullet that was extracted from Gregory
Edgeworth’s heart!

VON KARMA: [Pounds desk, in an effort not to clutch his shoulder]

What?! But I-- …And just how, pray tell, does that prove anything at all?

EDGEWORTH: [Stands, breaking his silence and the protocol at last, all attention is on him]
Simple. If the ballistic markings on the bullet inside of you match the bullet found in my father’s
heart, that places you with the gun at the crime scene. You should know that.

[Courtroom’s attention is now turned toward VON KARMA]

VON KARMA: [Laughs maniacally. He knows he’s been caught but that it can’t be proven]
There is nothing you can do to force me to play along with this. If you think I will *trust* any
doctor in the world to cut me open and disprove your tall tale, you are sorely—

GUMSHOE:
You can trust me, Pal. [Holds up his metal detector and makes his way down the aisle.]

JUDGE: [Banging gavel]

I’ve had just about enough interruptions to this trial! Detective, explain yourself!

PHOENIX:
Let’s stick with the script here and have the attorneys do the talking, shall we? Simply put, Your
Honor, the detective’s metal detector will very quickly tell us if the Prosecutor von Karma has a
bullet inside of him.
VON KARMA: [Openly clutching his shoulder.]
I refuse! This is a violation of my privacy…!
PHOENIX:
Your Honor, the statute of limitations runs out on this case today! There is no time left to
consider the matter.

JUDGE:
It *will* be allowed.

[Metal Detector is used, it beeps. We are all totally surprised, of course.]

EDGEWORTH:
This whole time… after all these years… it was YOU?!

JUDGE:
Well the facts all line up, this case is completely clear. I see no room for doubt.

VON KARMA: What!? No...no! This courtroom is a disgrace! You! Amateur! It's your fault I'm
in this mess!

[Begin song: Justice for All Reprise]

Your story is mere conjecture. Within you, I just find

The ramblings of a madman who's completely lost his mind!
You grasp at straws while standing with a condescending grin--
No matter how pathetic, you'll do anything to win!

MIA-
There are people here who may intimidate you--
Acting frightening, they could manipulate you.
The observant, though, will find
They merely yell and whine

VON KARMA-
[simulateneously]
You're bluffing!
You haven't got a plan!
You're nothing!
You cursed, stupid man!
Like a stubborn, foolish swine,
You merely yell and whine,

MIA/VON KARMA-
And at last, this case will finally unwind!

PHOENIX-
Some attorneys are dishonest and just want a perfect win!
But now I know that I will not give in!
And I won't stand for lying or accusing anymore--
I know precisely what I'm fighting for!

I fight for truth, I fight for justice.

I fight for everyone to have a fair chance,
And when faced with tribulation,
I think of my own inspiration--
She taught me to always hold my stance.

MIA- [simultaneously]
So stand wholeheartedly, and keep your goals in sight.
Continue fighting the good fight!
Stand tall...
Give your all...
And firmly make your advance!

PHOENIX/MIA-
We fight for all! We fight with honor!
And we will never rest--together, we unite!
For ever since the world's creation, mankind has sought his liberation,
So throughout this litigation, as we pursue purification,
No matter what the situation, we will fulfill our obligation,
For the law's own consecration, for the better of the nation,
For the future of all...

JUDGE-
This court finds the defendant, Miles Edgeworth, NOT GUILTY.

PHOENIX/MIA-
We fight!

(in the lobby)

-Maya
Nick! Nick! We did it!

-Maya
Did you see his face!?
von Karma looked even paler
than usual!
He's pretending to be all
cool, but inside you crushed
him, Nick! Crushed!
I gotta say, I'm impressed.
-Phoenix
Heh... It was pretty close,
though.
I was sure we'd had it.

-Maya
I know, I was on the
verge of tears the
whole time, myself.
But now it's all just
a good memory!

-Edgeworth
...

-Phoenix
So, it's finally over,
Edgeworth.

-Edgeworth
Wright.

-Phoenix
Yeah?

-Edgeworth
I...
I'm not sure how to say this.

-Maya
I know! I know!
Try "thank you."

-Edgeworth
I... I see.
Th-thank you, Wright.

-Phoenix
Y-you're welcome.

-Maya
I think you could have
done better than that!

-Edgeworth
Oof! S-sorry...
I'm not good at
this sort of thing.

-Maya
You got a lot to learn,
Edgeworth!

-Phoenix
(Dear, dear...)

-Gumshoe
Whoooooooooooooop!
Amazing, pal! You pulled
through just like I thought
you would!
I'll never forget this!
I owe you one, pal.
And tonight, let's party!
Dinner's on me!
Yeah, my salary went down
a bit this month...
But who cares!

-Maya
See, Mr. Edgeworth?
You should take a lesson
from Detective Gumshoe!

-Maya
That's how you say
"thank you"!

-Edgeworth
Mmm.
I... I see.
*ahem*
Whooooooooooooop!
I... I feel foolish.

-Maya
Don't worry. Take it
a little at a time.
You'll get used to it.

-Phoenix
(It's been fifteen years
since I've seen Edgeworth
this... unguarded.)

-Lotta
Hey, y'all!

-Maya
Lotta!

-Lotta
Y'all were great in there!

-Phoenix
Thank you!

-Lotta
Yo, Edgeworth!
Congrats!

-Edgeworth
Er... thank y'all very much.

-Lotta
I knew you were innocent
from the start, of course.
Just look at you! You wouldn't
stick your hand in the cookie
jar even if no one was there!

-Edgeworth
You... were the witness
on the first day of the
trial, weren't you.

-Lotta
Yeah, well, let bygones
be bygones, eh?

-Phoenix
Speaking of which, what
are you doing now, Lotta?

-Lotta
Who, me? Aww, I went
back to college.
I gave up trying to be
an investigative photographer
pretty quick.

-Phoenix
Really? That's too bad.

-Lotta
Huh?

-Phoenix
?

-Lotta
Isn't that the hotdog
guy from the park?

-Phoenix
Huh?

-Butz
It's over, Nick!
My life is over!

-Phoenix
Wh-why the sad face,
Larry!? What happened
now!?

-Butz
Oh, Nick...
I'm not long for this world.

-Phoenix
Uh... you don't look sick...

-Butz
It's Kiyance! Sh-she's goin'
to live in Paris! Paris, Nick!
She's leaving me behind!!!

-Phoenix
(Larry, Larry...)

-Butz
Yo, Edgey! There you are!
-Edgeworth
Um, yes, here I am.

-Butz
Congrats, Edgey!
Here... a little gift from
me in celebration!

-Edgeworth
Celebration? That's unusual
for you.

-Gumshoe
Harry Butz! You come along
tonight too! My treat, pal!

-Butz
Huh? Uh... thanks!
Looking forward to it!
Yo, yo, Nick!
That's the suit that
questioned me!
When he says treat... that's
not police-talk for prison
food, right? Right?

-Phoenix
Uh, I think you'll
be fine, Larry.

-Edgeworth
Wright...

-Phoenix
Yeah? What's up?

-Edgeworth
That envelope that Larry
gave me. It's got money
in it.

-Phoenix
Well, yeah. That's not that
strange. People give money
away to celebrate sometimes.
-Edgeworth
It's $38.00, Wright.

-Phoenix
Huh. What a weird amount.
I mean, it's not a little,
but it's not a lot either.
$38.00 exactly?

-Maya
N-N-Nick!

-Maya
Wasn't that exactly the amount
of lunch money that was stolen
from Mr. Edgeworth in school!?

-Phoenix
$38...!

-Phoenix
No...
No!!!
Larry, it was you!!!

-Edgeworth
What are you so surprised
about, Wright?

-Phoenix
Huh?

-Edgeworth
Larry was absent that day
from school, right?
But that doesn't automatically
rule him out as a suspect.

-Phoenix
What?

-Edgeworth
Think back to that day,
fifteen years ago.
Larry took the day off, but
he was bored, he came in to
school anyway.
Then he saw the money
lying there... and the
rest is history.

-Butz
I never was good at History!
Heh...

-Phoenix
Edgeworth... you didn't
know, did you?

-Edgeworth
I suspected.
I just couldn't picture Larry
protecting you like he did
that day.
Everyone else was saying
you did it. The whole class
was against you, remember?

-Phoenix
Yeah... too well.

-Edgeworth
Wright, you may not know this,
but we used to have a saying
back in school.
"When something smells,
it's usually the Butz."

-Phoenix
I know, I know.

-Edgeworth
Really, Wright. I'm surprised
you didn't figure it out!

-Butz
Well, this is sure an
unexpected turn of
events, eh?

-Phoenix
Edgeworth...
-Edgeworth
Hmm?

-Phoenix
You should have told me!

-Maya
Now, now, Nick. It was
fifteen years ago!
Don't you think the "statute
of limitations" has run out,
Mr. Edgeworth?

-Edgeworth
I'd say so, yes.

-Butz
There you have it!

-Phoenix
Grr...
Where does that leave me!?
I became a defense attorney
because of what you two did!

-Edgeworth
Well, I'd call you a
goody-two-shoes to the
extreme.

-Butz
Yeah! And you get worked up
too easily, too!

-Phoenix
D-death! The death sentence
for both of you!
Man, if I only had known, I'd
have become a prosecutor!

-Edgeworh
The same goes for me, only
the other way around...
For the longest time,
I thought that I might
have killed my own father.
I thought I might be
a criminal.
I became a prosecutor in
part to punish myself.
If I had known the truth,
I might have become a
defense attorney after all.

-Phoenix
Edgeworth...

-Edgeworth
Want to switch, Wright?

-Lotta
Hey, y'all!
Line up, I'll take a photo!

-Maya
Hey, photo time!
Let's go!

-Gumshoe
And after that, dinner on me!

( At wright and co.)

-Phoenix
Whoa... I went a little
overboard yesterday.
My head hurts...
Huh? It's still only 5:00.
Maybe I should go back to
sleep...
Hmm?
(What's this? A letter?)

--------------------------------------------

-Maya
Good morning, Nick.
You were really impressive
yesterday.
Seeing you...
It made me think about
what I'm doing here.
I'm a spirit medium...
in training, of course.
I wanted to help
Mr. Edgeworth too.
I wanted to help you.
But I couldn't.
I was useless.
So, I've decided to go
back to my training.
I'll become a full-fledged
spirit medium, for starters.
I couldn't say it to your
face, so I left this letter.
Goodbye, Nick.

-Phoenix
(G-goodbye!?)
What time is it?
Gah! The first trains for
the mountains have already
left! To the station!
[sung]
Finally, the case is done
But soon there’ll be another one
My search for truth has just begun
And yes I know, and yes I know…

There’ll be dangers, there’ll be crime

But I’m not afraid this time
I’ll face the world and I’ll do fine
Because I know, because I know…

[Reprising Justice for All; but slowly, reflectively, and with melancholy]
I’ll fight for truth, I’ll fight for justice
And I'll fight bravely on until the dawn breaks through
And I'll show no hesitation as I strive for vindication
As each day, my trials begin anew

I'll fight for you, I'll fight for Mia,

I’ll fight for anyone with hopes, and dreams, and life
Though I now fight on without you, I know better than to doubt you
For your sake and mine…
MAYA:
You’ll fight...!
[spoken]
You didn’t think I’d up and leave you with just a letter, did you, Nick?

PHOENIX:
And if I hadn’t gotten to the station at 6:00 AM?

MAYA:
Eh, details, details!

PHOENIX:
So, you’re definitely leaving?

MAYA: [serious]
I’ve thought about it a lot, Nick. It’s… it’s hard being a spirit medium that can’t talk to spirits.
And I think you’ll really do fine without me. I mean... It’s not like I did anything useful.
Anyway... be good, Nick!

PHOENIX:
Maya… HOLD IT!

[Sung, reprising Make it Right]

What can I say? You seem to think you’re through
You say you didn’t help me out? Well I can tell you that’s not true!
You were always there for me, coming to my aid
You even helped free Edgeworth, through the courage you displayed
I won’t let you say you’re useless, that you didn’t help me fight
You saved our cases, Maya – you helped me make it right

MAYA: [spoken]
But Nick… I didn’t do anything. I couldn’t do anything.

PHOENIX:
The bullet, Maya. von Karma thought he’d gotten away with everything – he would’ve gotten
away with everything, if you hadn’t grabbed that bullet. This single piece of evidence put an end
to him, Maya, and you were the one who gave it to me.

MAYA:
Nick…

PHOENIX:
Thank you, Maya. I couldn’t have done it without you.

MAYA:
…I’ll be back soon.
PHOENIX:
Huh?

MAYA:
I’m going to complete my training. I want to be able to stand on my own. I'm going to become a
full-fledged spirit medium, and when I come back…

PHOENIX:
We’ll get back to work.

[Sung, reprising Decree of the Prosecutor]

Frankly some may doubt cases we have won…

MAYA:
But we will still fulfill our duty!

PHOENIX/MAYA:
And we’ll do what must be done to get justice for everyone
For this is the life that we lead!
We have gone above and beyond at times…
Justice requires the extra mile!

PHOENIX:
I know this is not the end, the true test will now begin,

MAYA:
And we’ll meet it all…

PHOENIX/MAYA:
…with a smile.

[Reprising I'll Be There, slowly and sentimentally]

MAYA:
And I'll be there, though the road is long
I'll be there, even when I'm gone
And I won't forget you...

PHOENIX:
You'll be in my heart...

PHOENIX/MAYA:
And for you I will stay strong!

MAYA:
Through thick and thin, we'll shine the light

PHOENIX/MAYA:
We'll fight for what's right, that I swear

PHOENIX:
Okay, you win, just come back soon

MAYA:
I knew that you would sing that tune

PHOENIX/MAYA:
We'll hold our ground from night 'till noon
And for you, I will...

[The hoot of a train letting off steam is heard in the background. Music cuts off]

MAYA: [spoken]
Well, I guess I’d better get going.

PHOENIX:
Wait a minute, Maya. I think we have time for one more. Don’t you?

MAYA:
I guess so. But we’d better make it quick!

[Reprising The Objection Song]

PHOENIX (MAYA):
Wherever there’s a case to try
We’ll be there on the trail
(We’ll be there on the trail)
We’ll keep on searching for the truth
And I don’t intend to fail
(We will not fail)
There’s no place I will not go
There’s nothing I won’t do
(I’ll be with you)
We’ll stand together, side by side

PHOENIX/MAYA:
And we'll see it through!

And when a witness is clearly lying

To throw us off our case
We’ll find a contradiction
To rub in their smug face
And after we have made
Our careful selection
We’ll present evidence as our aid
And yell, yell, yell, yell, yell…
We’ll yell…

[spoken]
OBJECTION!