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Aperture Science is searching for test participants.

Said
participants will encounter highly classified and experimental
technology. Test subjects will be required to complete simple
tasks, such as locating an exit, or overcoming apparently
insurmountable obstacles. Due to the highly classified nature
of the equipment that test subjects will be encountering, all
test participants will be required to remain at the Aperture
Laboratories Computer Aided Enrichment Center for the duration
of the testing. All potential test subjects will be required
to fill out a survey, sign a confidentiality waiver, and
participate in an Aperture Science Electrical Safety Seminar.
All subjects who are accepted into this Aperture Science
Computer Aided Enrichment Activity will be informed that they
may be informed of obligatory compliance issues. No further
compliance information is required or will be provided. Due to
state and federal law, Aperture Science is required to inform
all potential test participants that the symptoms most
commonly caused by Enrichment Center testing are superstition,
perceiving inanimate objects as alive, and hallucinations. All
test participants who successfully complete the testing will
be rewarded with $500 worth of your local currency, cake, and
grief counseling. Also, did you know that you can donate one
or all of your vital organs to the Aperture Science self-
esteem fund for girls? It’s true!
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