Special Report

$29.00

WORLDS B EST -K EPT COPYWRITING

S ECRETS

by Robert W. Bly 22 East Quackenbush Avenue, 3rd Floor, Dumont, NJ 07628 (201) 385-1220, Fax (201) 385-1138 e-mail: rwbly@bly.com, web: www.bly.com

TableofContents
Section1 Section2 Section3 Section4 Section5 Section6
HowtoPrepareforaCopywritingAssignment ............. 3 TheFundamentalsofPersuasiveWriting ......................... 6 FeaturesbeforeBenefits ..................................................... 23 HowtoWriteaGoodAdvertisement .............................. 28 TheMagicofFalseLogic..................................................... 35 HowtoWriteSubjectLinesThatGetYour EmailOpenedandRead .................................................. 38

Section7 Section8

ReachYourProspectsonaDeeperLevel: TheBFDFormulaforUncoveringYourCustomers CoreBuyingComplex ........................................................ 40 TipsonUsingTestimonials .............................................. 44

Section1 HowtoPrepareforaCopywritingAssignment
Businesstobusinesscopypersuadesreadersbygivingthemuseful informationabouttheproductsbeingadvertised.Themorefactsyouincludein yourcopy,thebetter. Whenyouhaveafilefulloffactsatyourfingertips,writinggoodcopyiseasy. Yousimplyselectthemostrelevantfactsanddescribetheminaclear,concise, directfashion. Butwhencopywritersdontbothertodigforfacts,theyfallbackonfancy phrasesandpuffedupexpressionstofilltheemptyspaceonthepage.Thewords soundnice,buttheydontsellbecausethecopydoesntinform. HeresafourstepprocedureIusetogettheinformationIneedtowrite persuasive,factfilledcopyformyclients.Thistechniqueshouldbehelpfulto copywriters,accountexecutives,andadmanagersalike. Step#1:Getallpreviouslypublishedmaterialontheproduct. Foranexistingproduct,theresamountainofliteratureyoucansendtothe copywriterasbackgroundinformation.Thismaterialincludes: Tearsheetsofpreviousads Brochures Catalogs Articlereprints Technicalpapers Copiesofspeeches Audiovisualscripts Presskits

Swipefilesofcompetitorsadsandliterature

DidIhearsomeonesaytheycantsendmeprintedmaterialbecausetheir productisnew?Nonsense.Thebirthofeverynewproductisaccompaniedby moundsofpaperworkyoucangivethecopywriter.Thesepapersinclude: Internalmemos Lettersoftechnicalinformation Productspecifications Engineeringdrawings Businessandmarketingplans Reports Proposals

Bystudyingthismaterial,thecopywritershouldhave80percentofthe informationheneedstowritethecopy.Andhecangettheother20percentby pickingupthephoneandaskingquestions.Steps#24outlinethequestionshe shouldaskabouttheproduct,theaudience,andtheobjectiveofthecopy. Step#2:Askquestionsabouttheproduct. Whatareitsfeaturesandbenefits?(Makeacompletelist.) Whichbenefitisthemostimportant? Howistheproductdifferentfromthecompetitions?(Whichfeatures

areexclusive?Whicharebetterthanthecompetitions?) Iftheproductisntdifferent,whatattributescanbestressedthathavent

beenstressedbythecompetition? Whattechnologiesdoestheproductcompeteagainst? Whataretheapplicationsoftheproduct? Whatindustriescanusetheproduct? Whatproblemsdoestheproductsolveinthemarketplace? Howistheproductpositionedinthemarketplace?

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Howdoestheproductwork? Howreliableistheproduct? Howefficient? Howeconomical? Whohasboughttheproductandwhatdotheysayaboutit? Whatmaterials,sizesandmodelsisitavailablein? Howquicklydoesthemanufacturerdelivertheproduct? Whatserviceandsupportdoesthemanufactureroffer? Istheproductguaranteed? Step#3:Askquestionsaboutyouraudience. Whowillbuytheproduct?(Whatmarketsisitsoldto?) Whatisthecustomersmainconcern?(Price,delivery,performance,

reliability,servicemaintenance,quality,efficiency) Whatisthecharacterofthebuyer? Whatmotivatesthebuyer? Howmanydifferentbuyinginfluencesmustthecopyappealto?

Twotipsongettingtoknowyouraudience: Ifyouarewritinganad,readissuesofthemagazineinwhichthead

willappear. Ifyouarewritingdirectmail,findoutwhatmailinglistswillbeused

andstudythelistdescriptions. Step#4:Determinetheobjectiveofyourcopy. Thisobjectivemaybeoneormoreofthefollowing: Togenerateinquiries Togeneratesales Toanswerinquiries Toqualifyprospects

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Totransmitproductinformation Tobuildbrandrecognitionandpreference Tobuildcompanyimage

Beforeyouwritecopy,studytheproductitsfeatures,benefits,past performance,applications,andmarkets.Diggingforthefactswillpayoff, becauseinbusinesstobusinessadvertising,specificssell.

Section2 TheFundamentalsofPersuasiveWriting
Whatarethecharacteristicsthatmakecopyeffective?Whydoesonead makealastingimpressionandsellmerchandise,whileanotherfallsflatand doesntgenerateenoughrevenuetopayitsowncost? Virtuallyallpersuasivecopycontainstheeightelementsdescribedinthisarticle. Thesuccessfulad: 1. Gainsattention 2. Focusesonthecustomer 3. Stressesbenefits 4. Differentiatesyoufromthecompetition 5. Provesitscase 6. Establishescredibility 7. Buildsvalue 8. Closeswithacalltoaction Alladsdonothavealleightcharacteristicsinequalproportions.Depending ontheproduct,someoftheseelementswillbedominantinyourad; otherssubordinate.

Letstaketelephoneserviceasanexample.IfyouareAT&T,MCI,or

Sprint,youhavealongtrackrecordofsuccessandawellestablishedreputation. Therefore,youwillbenaturallystronginelementsfiveandsix(provingyourcase andestablishingyourcredibility). Anewtelephoneservicesprovider,ontheotherhand,doesnothavea

trackrecordorreputation;therefore,thesetwoelementswillnotbethedominant themesinthecopy.Instead,thestrongestelementmightbenumberthree(benefits theserviceofferscustomers)orperhapsnumberfour(differentiationinservice resultingfromsuperiortechnology). Eachproductorservicehasnaturalstrengthsandweaknesses.The

strengthsareemphasizedandtheweaknessesdeemphasized.Butalleight elementsmustbepresenttosomedegree,ortheadwontwork. Herearetheeightelementsofpersuasiondiscussedinabitmoredetail,

withexamplesofhowtoachieveeachinyourcopy. Element#1:Gainattention.

Ifanadfailstogainattention,itfailstotally.Unlessyougaintheprospects

attention,heorshewontreadanyofyourcopy.Andiftheprospectdoesnt readyourcopy,heorshewontreceivethepersuasivemessageyouveso carefullycrafted. Therearenumerouswaystogainattention.Sexcertainlyisoneofthem.

Lookatthenumberofproductsabdominalexercises,healthclubs,cars,Club Med,clothes,beer,softdrinks,chewinggumthatfeatureattractivebodiesin theiradsandcommercials.Itmaybesexistorbase,butitworks. Similarly,youcanusevisualstogetprospectstopayattention.Parents

(andalmosteveryoneelse)areattractedtopicturesofbabiesandyoungchildren. Puppiesandkittensalsostrikeachordinourhearts.Appealingvisualscanget youradnoticed.

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Sincesomuchadvertisingisvagueandgeneral,beingspecificinyourcopy

setsitapartfromotheradsandcreatesinterest.Aletterpromotingcollection servicestodentalpracticesbeginsasfollows: Howwecollectedover$20millioninunpaidbillsoverthepast2yearsfor thousandsofdentistsnationwide DearDentist: Itstrue. Inthepast2yearsalone,ICSystemshascollectedmorethan$20millionin

outstandingdebtfordentalpracticesnationwide. Thats$20millionthesedentistsmightnototherwisehaveseeniftheyhad

nothiredICSystemstocollecttheirpastduebillsforthem. Whatgainsyourattentionisthespecificfigureof$20milliondollars.Every

collectionagencypromisestocollectmoney.Butsayingthatyouhavegotten$20 millioninresultsisspecific,credible,andmemorable. Featuringanofferthatisfree,lowinprice,orunusuallyattractiveisalsoan

effectiveattentiongetter.AfullpagenewspaperadfromGuaranteedTermLife Insuranceannounces,NOW...$1aweekbuysGuaranteedTermLifeInsurance forNewYorkersover50.Notonlydoesthe$1offerdrawyouin,butthe headlinealsogainsattentionbytargetingaspecificgroupofbuyers(NewYorkers over50). Youknowthatinpublicspeaking,youcangainattentionbyshoutingor

talkingloudly.Thisdirectapproachcanworkincopy,especiallyinretail advertising.AnadforLord&Taylordepartmentstoreproclaimsinlarge,bold type:STARTSTODAY...ADDITIONAL40%OFFWINTERFASHIONS.Not cleverorfancy,butofinteresttoshopperslookingtosavemoney. Anothermethodofengagingtheprospectsattentionistoaskaprovocative

question.Bits&Pieces,amanagementmagazine,beginsitssubscriptionmailing
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withthisheadline:WhatdoJapanesemanagershavethatAmerican managerssometimeslack?Dontyouwanttoatleastreadthenextsentence tofindtheanswer. Amailingforabookclubhasthisheadlineontheouterenvelope: WhyistheMcGrawHillChemicalEngineersBookClubgivingaway

practicallyforFREEthisspecial50thAnniversaryEditionofPERRYS CHEMICALENGINEERSHANDBOOK? Tochemicalengineers,whoknowthatPerryscostsabout$125percopy,

thefactthatsomeonewouldgiveitawayisindeedacuriosityandengineers, beingcuriouspeople,wanttogettheanswer. Injectingnewsintocopy,orannouncingsomethingthatisnewor

improved,isalsoaproventechniqueforgettingattention.Amailingoffering subscriptionstothenewsletterDr.AtkinssHealthRevelationshasthisheadline onthecover: HereAreAstonishingNutritionalTherapiesandAlternativeTreatments

YoullNeverHearAboutFromtheMedicalEstablishment,theFDA,Drug CompaniesorEvenYourDoctor... 3decadesofmedicalresearchbreakthroughsfromtheAtkinsCenterfor

ComplementaryMedicine...revealedatlast! ThetraditionalMadisonAvenueapproachtocopysubtlewordplayand

clevernessoftenfailstogetattentionbecausemanypeoplereadingtheadeither dontgetit,oriftheydogetit,theydontthinkitsthatfunny(ortheythinkits funnybutthatdoesntcompelthemtoreadtheadorbuytheproduct). AnewspaperadforNewJerseyhospital,promotingitsfacilitiesfortreating kidneystoneswithoutsurgery(ultrasonicsoundwavesareusedtopainlessly breakupanddissolvethestone),carriedthisheadline: TheEndoftheStoneAge.

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Clever?Yes.Butasformerkidneystonepatients,wecantellyouthat

havingkidneystonesisnotafun,playfulsubject,andthisheadlinemissesthe mark.Thekidneystonesuffererwantstoknowhecangotohislocalhospital,get fasttreatment,avoidanoperationandahospitalstay,havetheprocedurebe painless,andgetridofthekidneystonesthatarecausinghiscurrentdiscomfort. Therefore,theheadline, GetRidofPainlessKidneyStonesWithoutSurgery! Whilelessclever,ismoredirect,andworksbetterwiththistopicand

thisaudience. Element#2:Focusonthecustomer.

Whenwritingcopy,startwiththeprospect,notwiththeproduct.Your

prospectsareinterestedprimarilyinthemselvestheirgoals,theirproblems,their needs,theirhopes,theirfears,theirdreamsandaspirations.Yourproductor serviceisofsecondaryimportance,thedegreeofconcernbeingdeterminedbythe potentialfortheproductorservicetoaddressoneoftheprospectswantsor needs,orsolveoneoftheirproblems. Effectivecopyspeaksdirectlytoaspecificaudienceandidentifiestheir

preferences,quirks,behaviors,attitudes,needs,orrequirements.Arecruitment brochureforacomputerconsultantfirm,forexample,hasthisheadlineon thecover: Introducingauniquecareeropportunityonlyafewdozencomputer

professionalsinthecountrywillbeabletotakeadvantageofthisyear.... Theheadlineiseffectivebecauseitfocusesontheprospects(Information

Systemsprofessionals)andoneoftheirmainconcernsinlife(theircareer),rather thantheconsultingfirmanditshistory,asmostsuchbrochuresdo. Writefromthecustomerspointofviewe.g.,notour,Introducingour

GuardaHealthEmployeeBenefitProgrambutAtlastyoucancombatthehuge
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healthinsurancepremiumsthreateningtoputyoursmallbusinessout ofbusiness. WEKAPublishing,inadirectmailpackagepromotingtheElectronicsRepair

Manual,adoityourselfguideforhobbyistsandotherswhowanttorepairtheir ownhomeandofficeelectronics,usescopythatspeaksdirectlytothepersonality typeofthepotentialbuyer: Ifyourehandy...fascinatedbyelectronicsandtheworldofhightech...are

happiestwithatoolinyourhand...andrespondtohouseholdproblemsand brokenapplianceswithadefiant,Illdoitmyself... ...thenfun,excitement,thethrillofdiscovery,timeandmoneysaved,and

thesatisfactionofajobwelldoneawaityouwhenyoupreviewournewly updatedElectronicsRepairManualatnoriskforafull30days. Agoodwaytoensurethatyouarefocusingontheprospects,andnot

yourselforyourproductoryourcompany,istoaddresstheprospectdirectlyin thecopyasyou.Forexample: DearHealthCareAdministrator: Youknowhowtoughitistomakeadecentprofitmarginintodaysworld

ofmanagedcare...andhowtheHMOsandotherplansareputtingevenmoreofa squeezeonyourmarginstofilltheirownalreadyswellingcoffers. Butwhatyoumaynotbeawareofisthetechniqueshealthcareproviders

nationwideareusingtofightback...andgetpaideverydollartheydeserveforthe importantworktheydo. Thisdirectmailcopy,whichsuccessfullylaunchedanewpublication,

worksbecauseitfocusesontheprospectsandtheirproblems(makingmoney fromtheirhealthcarebusiness),andnotonthepublication,itseditors,orits featuresorcolumns.

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Copythatfailstofocusontheprospectoftendoessobecausethe

copywriterdoesnotunderstandtheprospect.Ifyouarewritingtometalshop managers,attendametalworkingtradeshow,readafewissuesofthetrade publicationstheysubscribeto,andinterviewsomeoftheseprospectsinpersonor overthephone.Studyfocusgrouptranscripts,attendlivefocusgroupsessions,or evenaccompanysalespeopleonsalescallstotheseprospects.Thebetteryou understandyourtargetaudience,themoreyouhaveafeelforthewaytheythink andwhattheythinkabout,themoreeffectivelyyoucantargetcopythatspeaksto thoseconcerns. Element#3:Stressbenefits.

Although,dependingonyouraudience,yourprospectsmaybeinterested

bothinthefeaturesandthebenefitsofyourproductorservice,itisalmostnever sufficienttodiscussfeaturesonly. Virtuallyallsuccessfulcopydiscussesbenefits.Copyaimedatalay

audiencewouldprimarilystressbenefits,mentioningfeaturesmainlytoconvince theprospectsthattheproductcaninfactdeliversthebenefitspromisedinthead. Copyaimedatspecialistsoftengivesequalplaytofeaturesandbenefits,or

mayevenprimarilystressfeatures.Butwheneverafeatureisdescribed,itmustbe linkedtoacustomerbenefititprovides.Buyersnotonlywanttoknowwhatthe productisandwhatitdoes;theywanttoknowhowitcanhelpthemachievethe benefitstheywantsuchassavingmoney,savingtime,makingmoney,being happier,lookingbetter,orfeelingfitter. Incopyfortechnicalproducts,clearlyexplainingthefeaturemakesthe

benefitmorebelievable.Dontjustsayaproducthasgreatercapacity;explain whatfeatureoftheproductallowsittodeliverthisincreasedcapacity.Abrochure forLucentTechnologieswirelessCDMAtechnologyexplains:

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CDMAgivesyouupto10timesthecapacityofanalogcellularwithmore

efficientuseofspectrum.Useofawidebandblockofradiofrequency(RF) spectrumfortransmission(1.25MHz)enablesCDMAtosupportupto60ormore simultaneousconversationsonagivenfrequencyallocation. AbrochureforacomputerconsultingfirmtellscorporateInformation

Systems(IS)managershowworkingwithoutsideconsultantscanbemorecost effectivethanhiringstaff,thussavingmoney: WhenyouaugmentyourISdepartmentwithourstaffconsultants,youpay

ourstaffconsultantsonlywhentheyworkforyou.Iftheneedendstomorrow,so doesthebilling.Inaddition,variousstudiesestimatethecostofhiringanewstaff memberat30to60percentormoreoftheannualsalary(anexecutivesearch firmsfeealonecanbe30percentofthebasepay).Theseexpendituresare100% eliminatedwhenyoustaffthroughEJR. InanadforasoftwarepackagethatcreatesletterheadusingaPCanda

laserprinter,thecopystressesthebenefitsofease,convenience,andcostsavings vs.havingtoorderstationeryfromaprinter: Nowsavethousandsofdollarsonstationeryprintingcosts! Everyday,lawfirmsstrugglewiththeexpenseandinconvenienceof

engravedandpreprintedstationery. Now,inasweepingtrendtocutcostswithoutsacrificingprestige,many

aretradingintheirengravedletterheadforInstantStationerydesktopsoftware fromDesignForwardTechnologies. WithInstantStationery,youcanlaserprintyourWordPerfectdocuments

andletterheadtogetheronwhatevergradeofblankbondpaperyouchoose. Envelopes,too.Whichmeansyouneverhavetosufferthecostofexpensive preprintedletterheadortheinconvenienceofloadingstationeryintoyour desktopprintereveragain.

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Element#4:Differentiateyourselffromthecompetition.

Todayyourcustomerhasmoreproductsandservicestochoosefromthan

ever.Forexample,acustomerwalkingintoasupermarketcanchoosefrommore thanXXdifferentbrandsofcereal,XXdifferentbrandsofshampoo,andXX differentflavorsandbrandsofsoftdrink. Therefore,tomakeyourproductstandoutinthebuyersmind,and

convincehimorherthatitisbetteranddifferentthanthecompetition,youmust differentiateitfromthoseotherproductsinyourcopy.Crispixcereal,forexample, wasadvertisedasthecerealthatstayscrispinmilk.PostRaisinBranwas advertisedastheonlyraisinbranhavingtwoscoopsofraisinsineachboxof cereal.Acookiemakerrecentlyranacampaignpromoting100chipsinevery bagofchocolatechipcookies. Companiesthatmakeacommodityproductoftendifferentiatethemselves

onthebasisofservice,expertise,orsomeotherintangible.BOCGases,for example,promotesitselfasasuperiorvendornotbecausetheirproductisbetter (theyselloxygen,andoneoxygenmoleculeisbasicallythesameasanother),but intheirabilitytouseoxygenandtechnologytobenefitthecustomersbusiness. Hereiscopyfromabrochureaimedatsteelmakers: AnoxygensupplierwhoknowsoxygenandEAFsteelmakingcanbethe

strategicpartnerwhogivesyouasustainablecompetitiveadvantageintodays metalsmarkets.AndthatswhereBOCGasescanhelp. Ifyourproductisuniquewithinitsmarketniche,stressthisinyourcopy.

Forexample,therearedozensofstockmarketnewsletters.ButIPOInsiderclaims tobetheonlyIPObulletinaimedattheconsumer(thereareotherIPOinformation services,butthesetargetprofessionalinvestorsandmoneymanagers).Intheir subscriptionpromotiontheIPOInsidersays:

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IPOInsideristheonlyindependentresearchandanalysisserviceinthe

countrydesignedtohelptheindividualinvestorgenerategreaterthanaverage stockmarketprofitsinselectrecommendedIPOs. LucentTechnologies,theAT&Tspinoff,competeswithmanyother

companiesthatmanufacturetelecommunicationsnetworkequipment.They differentiatethemselvesbystressingthetestedreliabilityoftheirswitch,which hasbeendocumentedassuperiortootherswitchesintheindustry.One brochureexplains: The5ESS2000Switchisoneofthemostreliabledigitalswitchesavailable

forwirelesssystemstoday.AccordingtotheU.S.FederalCommunication Commissions(FCC)ARMISreport,the5ESS2000Switchhastheleastdowntime ofanyswitchusedinU.S.networks,exceedingBellcoresreliabilitystandardsby 200%.Withaninstalledbaseofmorethan2,300switches,the5ESS2000Switch currentlyservesover72millionlinesin49countries. Element#5:Proveyourcase.

Element#4,justdiscussed,claimsproductdifferentiation.Element#3

claimssubstantialbenefitstoproductpurchasers.Thereasonwhytheseelements cannotstandaloneispreciselythattheyareclaimsclaimsmadeinapaid advertisement,bytheadvertiser.Therefore,skepticalconsumersdonotusually acceptthematfacevalue.Ifyousayyouarebetter,faster,orcheaper,andyoudo notbackupyourclaimswithproof,peoplewontbelieveyou. ICSconvincesdentistsitisqualifiedtohandletheircollectionsbypresentingfacts andstatisticsasfollows: Thenationwideleaderindentalpracticecollections,ICSystemshas

collectedpastdueaccountsreceivablesfor45,717dentalpracticessince1963.Over 20statedentalassociationsrecommendourservicestotheirmembers.

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ICSystemscancollectmoreofthemoneyyourpatientsoweyou.Ouroverall

recoveryratefordentalcollectionsis12.4%higherthantheAmericanCollectors Associationnationalaverageof33.63%.(Formanydentalpractices,wehave achievedrecoveryratesevenhigher!) BOCGasestellscustomersthatthegasmixturestheysellincylindersare

accuratelyblended,andthereforethatthecompositionlistedonthelabeliswhat thebuyerwillfindinsidethecontainer.Theymakethisargumentcredibleby explainingtheirblendingandweighingmethodology: Eachmixturecomponentisweighedintothecylinderonahighcapacity,

highsensitivityequalarmbalancehavingatypicalprecisionof+10mgat95 percentconfidence.Balanceaccuracyisconfirmedpriortoweighingbycalibration withNISTtraceableClassSweights.Electronicintegrationoftheprecision balancewithanautomatedfillingsystemprovidesextremelyaccuratemixtures withtightblendtolerances. Manystockmarketnewsletterspromisebigwinnersthatwillmakethe

readerrichifheorshesubscribes.Sinceeveryonesaysit,thestatementisusually greetedwithskepticism.ThenewsletterGoldStocksAdvisorycombatsthis skepticismbyputtingtheirrecentsuccessesrightontheouterenvelopeandatthe topofpageoneoftheirsalesletter: AsampleofPaulSarnoffsrecenthighprofitgoldstockpicks: Company: Purchase Price: Gold Canyon C70cents Year High: %Increase /Timeframe: Potentialprofit* on10,000shares:

C$10.50 2793%in14months C$195,500 C$6.45 438%in8months C$52,500

CoralGold C$1.20 BemaGold C$2.20 Jordex C70cents

C$13.05 439%in20months C$108,500 C$3.75 435%in6months C$26,300

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Glamis Gold Barrick Gold

US$1 US$4.81

US$8.88 788%in84months US$78,800 US$32.88 584%in96months US$280,700

Themostpowerfultoolforprovingyourcaseistodemonstrateagood

trackrecordinyourfield,showingthatyourproductorserviceissuccessfulin deliveringthebenefitsandotherresultsyoupromise.Onewaytocreatethe perceptionofafavorabletrackrecordistoincludecasehistoriesandsuccess storiesinyourcopy.Testimonialsfromsatisfiedcustomersareanothertechnique forconvincingprospectsthatyoucandowhatyousayyoucando.Youcanalso impressprospectsbyshowingthemafullorpartiallistofyourcustomers. Sharewithreadersanyresultsyourfirmhasachievedforanindividual

customerorgroupofcustomers.ICSystems,forexample,impresseddentistsby tellingthemthatthecompanyhascollected$20millioninpastduebillsoverthe past2yearsaloneanumberwhichcreatestheperceptionofaservicethatworks. Element#6:Establishcredibility.

Inadditiontothebenefitsyouoffer,theproductsandservicesyoudeliver

thatofferthesebenefits,andtheresultsyouhaveachieved,prospectivebuyers willaskthequestion,Whoareyou? Intermsofpersuasion,ofthethreemajortopicsyoudiscussinyourad

theprospect,theproduct,andtheproductvendorthecorporatestoryis usuallytheleastimportant.Theprospectisprimarilyinterestedinhimselfandhis problemsandneeds,andinterestedinyourproductorserviceonlyasameansof solvingthoseproblemsorfillingthoseneeds.Theprospectisinterestedinyour companyonlyasitrelatestoyourabilitytoreliablymake,deliver,install,and servicetheproducthebuysfromyou. Yet,thesourceoftheproductorservicethecompanystillisafactorin

influencingpurchasedecisions.Intheearlydaysofpersonalcomputing,IBMwas
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thepreferredbrandnotbecauseIBMnecessarilymadeasuperiorcomputerata betterprice,butbecauseifsomethingwentwrong,IBMcouldbecountedonfor fast,reliable,effectiveserviceandsupport.AsPCsbecamemoreofacommodity andlocalcomputerresellersandstoresofferedbetterservice,theservice andsupportreputationofIBMbecamelessofanadvantage,andtheirPC salesdeclined. Herearesomeexamplesofcopyinwhichthevendorgivescredentials

designedtomaketheconsumerfeelmorecomfortableindoingbusinesswith themandchoosingthemoverothersuppliersadvertisingsimilarproducts andservices: Weguaranteethebesttechnicalserviceandsupport.Iwasacompressor

servicetechnicianatIngersollRand,andinthelast20yearshavepersonally servicedmorethan250compressorsatover80companies. Fornearly100years,BOCGaseshasprovidedinnovativegastechnology

solutionstomeetprocessandproductionneeds.Wehavesuppliedmorethan 20,000differentgasesandgasmixturesinpuritiesupto99.99999percentto2 millioncustomersworldwide. LionTechnologyisdifferent.Fornearlytwodecades,wehavededicated

ourselves100%totrainingmanagers,engineers,andothersinenvironmental compliancerelatedsubjects.Since1989,ourfirmhasconductedmorethan1,400 workshopsnationwideonthesetopics. YoullfindsomeofPaulsfundamentalresearchinpreciousmetals

summedupinhismorethan60bestsellingbooksincludingSilverBullsand TradingwithGold.Paulsuniqueblendingofsolidresearch,combinedwith anunprecedentedrecordofsuccessinpickinggoldstocks,mayhavebeen whatmovedoneNewYorkTimesreportertodubhimthedeanof commoditiesresearchers.

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Credentialsyoucanlistinyourcopyincludeyearfounded,numberof

yearsinbusiness,numberofemployees,annualrevenues,numberoflocations, numberofunitssold,patentsandproductinnovations,awards,commendations, publications,membershipandparticipationinprofessionalsocieties,sealsof approval,agencyratings,independentsurveyresults,mediacoverage,numberof customers,andinhouseresources(financial,technological,andhuman). Element#7:Buildvalue.

Itsnotenoughtoconvinceprospectsyouhaveagreatproductora

superiorservice.Youmustalsoshowthemthatthevalueofyourofferfarexceeds thepriceyouareaskingforit.Youmayhavethebestwidgetinthe$100to$200 pricerangeofmediumsizewidgets,butwhyshouldtheprospectpay$200for yourwidgetwhentheycangetanotherbrandforhalftheprice?Oneargument mightbelowertotalcostofownership.Althoughyourwidgetcostsmoretobuy, itsgreaterreliabilityandperformancesaveandmakeyourfirmmoneythat,over thelongrun,farexceedsthedifferenceinpricebetweenyouandbrandX. Stresscostofownershipvs.costofpurchase.Thepurchasepriceisnottheonly

costofowningsomething.Thereisthecostofmaintenance,support,repair, refurbishment,operation,and,whensomethingwearsout,replacement. Thereforetheproductthatcoststheleasttobuymaynotactuallycostthe

leasttoown;oftentimes,itisthemostexpensivetoown! Example:Severalcompaniesarenowsellingartificialbonesubstitutesfor

orthopedicsurgeonstouseinbonegraftoperations.Asofthiswriting,asmall containeroftheartificialbonesubstitute,containingenoughmaterialforonespine surgery,cancost$500to$800. Theshortsightedbuyerseesthisasexpensive,especiallysincebonegraft

canbetakenfromothersitesinthepatientsownbody,andthereisnocostfor thismaterial.
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Butistherereallynocost?Collectingbonegraftfromthepatientsown

bodyaddsaboutanhourtothesurgicalprocedure.Withoperatingroomtimeat about$1,000anhour,itmakessensetopay$750forbonematerialandeliminate thisextrahourintheOR. Thatsnotall.Oftenremovingthebonefromadonorsitecausesproblems

thatcanresultinanextradaysstayinthehospital.Thatsanother$1,000down thetubes.Andtheremovalofbonefromthedonorsitecancauseinfection,which mustbetreatedwithcostlyantibiotics.Also,theremovalprocesscancausepain; howdoyoumeasurethecostofthepatientsaddedsuffering?Sowhile$750for asmallvialofartificialbonemayseeminitiallyexpensive,itisinfactabargain whencomparedwiththealternative(which,onthesurface,appearstohave zerocost). Heresasimplerexample.Youneedtobuyaphotocopierforyourhome

office.CopierAcosts$900.CopierBcosts$1,200.Thefeaturesareessentiallythe same,andthereputationsofthebrandsarecomparable.Bothhaveanexpected lifetimeof120,000copies.Mostpeoplewouldsay,Everythingsthesameexcept price,sobuycopierAandsave$300.CopierAcomparesitselffeatureforfeature withCopierB,andrunsanadwiththeheadline,CopierAvs.OurCompetition... WeCanDoEverythingTheyCanDo...at25%OffthePrice. ButyouarethecopywriterforthemakersofCopierB.Youaskthemwhat

itcoststomakeacopy.Theircostpercopyis2cents.YouinvestigateCopierA, andfindoutthatthetonercartridgesaremoreexpensive,sothatthecostpercopy is4cents.Youcannowadvertisecopiesathalfthecostofourcompetitor. Whatsmore,asimplecalculationshowsthatifCopierBis2centsacopy

cheaper,andyouusethemachinetomake120,000copies,yoursavingsoverthe lifeofthemachineis$2,400.Therefore,aninvestmentinCopierBpaysyoupack eighttimestheextra$300itcosttobuy.Thisisadditionalammunitionyoucanuse

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inyourcopytoestablishthatpurchasepriceisnottheultimatefactordetermining buyingdecisions,andthatCopierBoffersagreateroverallvaluetothebuyer. Ifyourproductcostsslightlymoreupfrontbutactuallysavesmoneyinthe

longrun,stressthisinyoursalestalk.Everyoneknowsthatthecheapestproduct isnotautomaticallythebestbuy;corporatebuyersarebecomingespecially concernedwiththiscostofownershipconcept.Onlygovernmentbusiness,which isawardedbasedonsealedproposalsandbids,seemstostillfocussolelyonthe lowestprice.Andeventhatisslowlychanging. Thekeytoestablishingvalueistoconvincetheprospectsthatthepriceyou

askisadropinthebucketcomparedwiththemoneyyourproductwillmakeor savethem,ortheotherbenefitsitdelivers.Someexamples: WhatwouldyoudoiftheEPAassesseda$685,000fineagainstyour

companyfornoncompliancewithenvironmentalregulationsyouwerenteven awareexisted? Nowgetthespecial50thAnniversaryEditionof PERRYSCHEMICALENGINEERSHANDBOOK... ...foronly$4.97(listprice:$129.50) withyourNoRiskTrialMembershipinMcGrawHills ChemicalEngineersBookClub Anotherwaytoestablishvalueistocomparethecostofyourproductwith

moreexpensiveproductsorservicesthataddressthesamebasicneed: ThecostofTheNovellCompanion,includingthe800+pagereferencebinder

andNetWareutilitiesondiskette,isnormally$89plus$6.50forshippingand handling.ThisislessthanaNetWareconsultantwouldchargetoadviseyoufor justonehour...yetTheNovellCompanionistheretohelpyouadministerand manageyournetwork,yearafteryear.

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Ifyourproductorserviceisusedoveraperiodoftime,asmostare,you

canreducethestickershockthatcomeswithquotingahighupfrontpriceby showingthecostovertheextendedusageperiod.Forinstance,alifeinsurance policywithanannualpremiumof$200givesyourlovedonesprotectionfor just55centsaday.Thelatterseemsmoreaffordable,althoughthetwoprices areequivalent. Element#8:Closewithacalltoaction.

Copyiswrittentobringaboutachangethatis,tocauseprospectsto

changetheiropinion,attitude,beliefs,purchasingplans,brandpreferences,or immediatebuyingactions. Toeffectthischange,yourcopymustbespecificabouttheactionthe

prospectshouldtakeiftheyareinterestedinwhatyouvesaidandhowtotake advantageofyourofferoratleastfindoutmore.Tellthemtoclipandmailthe coupon,callthetollfreephonenumber,visityourWebsite,cometoyourstore, requestafreeestimate,orwhatever.Specifythenextstepdirectlyinyourcopy,or elsefewpeoplewilltakeit.Someexamples: Whenyoucall,besuretoaskhowyoucangetaFREEcopyofournew

audiocassette,HowtoGetBetterResultsFromYourCollectionEfforts.Injust7 minuteslisteningtime,youlldiscoveratleasthalfadozenofthetechniquesIC Systemsusesandyoucanuse,tootogetmorepeopletopaywhatthey oweyou. ForacomplementarycopyoftheSECRETSOFBUILDINGAWORLD

CLASSWEBSITEaudiocassette,completeandmailthesurveyenclosedorfaxit todayto1888FAX2IBM(18883292426). PutBOCsqualitygassolutionstoworkinyourplantstartingtoday.

Thinkitstimetotalkwithagassupplierthatreallyknowsyourbusinessandhas

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realsolutionstoyourproblems?CallyourBOCGasesrepresentativetoday.Or visitourWebsiteathttp://www.boc.com.

Section3 FeaturesbeforeBenefits
Perhapstheoldestandmostwidelyembracedruleforwriting directresponsecopyis,Stressbenefits,notfeatures.Buteventhissacred commandmentdoesntalwaysholdtrue. Asadirectresponsecopywriter,Idomybesttowritecopythatfocuseson

benefits,saysfreelancerConnieClarkinalettertothismagazine(February1987). Butsometimesinadmittedlyrarecircumstancesadifferentapproachcan workaswellorbetter. Specifically,Icanthinkoffivesellingsituationsinwhichfeaturesshouldbe

givenequal(ifnottop)billingoverbenefitsandpromiseorientedcopy. 1.Sellingtoexperts.Asanewhomeowner,Iknowbeansaboutinsulation.

SoIneedtobesoldonthebenefits:Howmuchwilltheinsulationreducemy winterfuelbills?Whatsthebenefitofinsulatingmyatticfloorvs.theroof?Why isanRvalueof11betterthan9?Willmyhouseactuallybecomewarmerand lessdrafty? Butcouldyouimaginerepeatingthisdiscussioninamailingaimedat

insulationcontractorsandinstallers?Ofcoursenot,becausethesecontractorsare expertsininsulation.Theyalreadyknowwhatinsulationcandoandwhyitis important.SocopyshouldstressthefeaturesofinsulationRvalues,price, volumediscounts,typesofmaterialsavailable,installationtechniques.

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Theseinsulationexpertsareinterestedinonlyonething:Doyouhavethe

productstheyneedtohelpthemdotheirjobcorrectlyandatagoodprofit?A discussionoffeaturesandpricingwillgivetheseknowledgeableprosthe informationtheyneedtomakeadecision. 2.Enthusiasts.Inmybusinesstobusinesscopywritingcourseat

NewYorkUniversity,IpickedaPorscheadoutofamagazineandheldit upforridicule. Listentothis,IsaidasIbegantoreadthecopy.The944hasanew2.5

liter,4cylinder,aluminumsiliconalloyPorscheenginedesignedatWeissach, andbuiltatZuffenhausen.Itachievesmaximumtorqueof137.2ftlbsasearly as3,000rpm,andproduces143hpat5,500rpm.The944alsohasthePorsche transaxledesign,PorscheaerodynamicsandPorschehandling. Ifinishedmycritiquebysaying,Thisisatextbookexampleofaclassic

copywritingmistake:stressingfeaturesinsteadofbenefits.Thisadisnothing morethanaspecsheetofengineeringstatistics,anddoesapoorjobofsellingthe benefitsofowningaPorsche. Astudentraisedhishand.Imsorrytodisagreewithyou,butitsobvious

youdontknoworcaremuchaboutcars.ImacarnutIownaCorvetteanda Jagandthatadgetsmedroolingtotrythe944ontheroad.WhenIhear143hp at5,500rpm,Icanfeelthataluminumsiliconalloyenginehummingunder thehood! Lookingback,Ithinkhewasright.Imthetypewhocouldcarelessabout

carsorwhichoneIdrive...butthenagain,Improbablynotthekindofbuyer Porscheisafter.IfthePorscheadwasaimedatautomobileenthusiasts,then perhapsitsfeatureorientedapproachwasjustrightforticklingtheirfancy. Remember,enthusiastsandhobbyistshavealovefortheirobsessionthatis

quitealientotherestofus.Butveryrealtothem.
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Forinstance,adiscussionofwoofersandtweetersmaybeboringtothe

vastmajorityofpeoplewhobuystereos.Butthehifinutwantstoknow.Inthe sameway,ahackerhasafascinationforbitsandbytestheaveragecomputeruser doesnotshare. Moral:Whenwritingtoenthusiasts,thinklikeanenthusiast.Dontassume

thatthehobbyistsharesyourlackofinterestinthenutsandboltsaspectsof whateveritisyouareselling. 3.Engineersandscientists.VivianSudhalter,directorofmarketingfor

MacmillanSoftware,isresponsibleforsellingexpensivesoftwaretoscientistswho usecomputerstoanalyzecomplexlaboratorydata.IaskedVivianwhatworksfor herindirectmailandwhatdoesnt. Despitewhattraditiontellsyou,theengineeringandscientificmarket

doesnotrespondtopromiseorbenefitorientedcopy,shesays.Theyrespond tofeatures.Yourcopymusttellthemexactlywhattheyaregettingandwhatyour productcando.Scientistsandengineersareputoffbycopythatsoundslike advertisingjargon.Theyresentitifyoutalkdowntothem.Whenwritingcopy, donttrytobeclever,justgiveinformationabouttheproduct. SudhaltersleadgeneratingselfmailerforMacmillansAsystandAsystant

softwarefollowsthismodel.Thecopyhasascientisttoscientisttoneandtalks aboutsucharcanemattersasHermitianmatrices,spectralslicingandQR factorization.Yet,itissuccessful,havinggenerateda4percentresponsewith Macmillansinhouseprospectlist.Viviantellsmethatshehasconductedmany testsoffeatureorientedvs.benefitorientedmailings,andthefeatureoriented mailingswineverytime. 4.Equipment.Copythatsellsequipmentandsystemsmustnotonly

stressthebenefits,butitmustalsodescribehowtheproductworksandwhat

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itcando.Anditmustlistcompletespecificationssothebuyercanmakean intelligentdecision. IfIbuyanewsletter,IsubscribebecauseofhowIllbenefitfromthe

informationitcontains.Features,suchaswhetheritis8or12pageslong,or whethertheeditorreads287publicationsinsteadof240,aresecondary.Eitherthe informationisusefultome,oritisnt. Butthesituationisdifferentwithtangibleitems.Irecentlyreceiveda

catalogthatsellscomputerfurniturethroughthemail.Iwasthinkingofbuying, butthecatalogdidntprovidetheinformationIneeded.Forexample,the drawingfailedtoshowdimensions,soIcouldnttellwhethermyprinterwouldfit ontheprintershelforevenwhetherthedeskwouldfitthroughmyfrontdoor. Moral:Benefitsmaygenerateinitialinterestinaproduct.Butwithmany

customers,youmakeorlosethesalebasedonwhetheryoumentionaparticular feature.Copythatdoesnthighlightallthekeyfeaturescancostyousales. 5.Practicality.Isyourproductsoldonglitzandglamour,hopesand

dreams?Orisitboughtformorepracticalreasons?Productswithpractical appealmustbesupportedbyfeatureorientedcopythatgivesyourprospectthe assurancethathesbuyingagoodsolutiontohisproblems. Forexample,thedozensofHowtoGetRichQuickbookssoldthrough

mailorderadsareappealingtothebuyersdreamsratherthanhardreality.(How manyofthepeoplewhobuysuchbooksactuallybecomerich?)Andsothecopy quiteappropriatelyconcentrates100percentonthepromiseofrichesbeyondthe dreamsofavarice,withoutrevealingtheactualfeaturesoftheplan...whichwould onlybeadisappointment. Ontheotherhand,ifthesamepersonneededanewgasfurnaceforhis

home,hewouldlookatyourproductwithmuchmoreattentiontodetail.Here, copywouldhavetoconcentrateonexplainingtechnicalfeatures,andonbuilding
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confidenceintheperformanceoftheproductandthereliabilityofthe manufacturer.Featureswouldlikelyhaveequalbillingwithbenefitsinyour brochureormailpackage. OK.Letssayyouwanttoincludesomefeaturesandtechnical

specificationsinyournextpieceofcopy.HerearesomeofthemethodsIusefor integratingtechnicalinformationintoasalesorientedpiece. FEATURES/BENEFITSTABLE.Thisissimplyatwocolumntable orchecklist.Thelefthandcolumnlistsallthefeaturesofyourproduct,while therighthandcolumndescribesthebenefitsthecustomergetsasaresultof eachfeature. Manycopywritingbooksandcoursessuggestthatyoumakesuchalistas

preparationforwritinganypieceofcopy.Imsuggestingyougoonestepfurther andactuallyreprintthefeatures/benefitslistasapageinyourbrochure. TWOPARTCAUSEANDEFFECTSTATEMENTS.Withthis technique,usedinheadlinesandbodycopy,youfirstdescribeafeatureofyour brochure,thentalkaboutthebenefitsthatresultfromthisfeature.Youaresaying: BecauseourproducthasFeatureX,yougetBenefitY.Someexamples: BecausethesystemusesLbandfrequencyandimprovedMTI(moving

targetindication),itcandetecttargetsupto50timesfartherawaythanSband automobileradars. Nomechanicalsystemsormovingpartsarerequired.Whichmeans

HydroCircconsumeslessenergyandtakeslessspacethanconventional sumppumps. Thegeometricshapeofthesealringamplifiestheforceagainstthedisc.As

thepressuregrows,sodoesthevalvesperformance.

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SPECBOX.Aspecboxisaseparateboxpresentingalltechnical specificationsandfeaturesofaproductinlistform.Agoodplaceforthespecbox isthebackpageofyourflierorbrochure. Haveyourartistputaborderaroundthespecboxtoseparateitfromthe

maintext.Anothertechniqueforvisuallyseparatingyourspecboxfromtherest ofthebodycopyistoprintthespecsoveralighttint. VISUALS.Usetables,graphs,charts,diagrams,illustrations,photosand othervisualstohighlightfeaturesandtechnicalinformation.Savebodycopyfora discussionofbenefits.

Section4

HowtoWriteaGoodAdvertisement
Todefinewhatconstitutesgoodprintadvertising,webeginwithwhata

goodprintadisnot: Itisnotcreativeforthesakeofbeingcreative. Itisnotdesignedtopleasecopywriters,artdirectors,agencypresidentsor evenclients. Itsmainpurposeisnottoentertain,winawardsorshoutatthereaders, Iamanad.Dontyouadmiremyfinewriting,boldgraphicsand cleverconcept? Inotherwords,ignoremostofwhatyouwouldlearnasastudentinany

basicadvertisingclassorasatraineeinoneofthebigMadisonAvenueconsumer adagencies.

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Okay.Sothatswhatanadshouldntbe.Asforwhatanadshouldbe,here

aresomecharacteristicssharedbysuccessfuldirectresponseprintads: Theystressabenefit.Themainsellingpropositionisnotcleverlyhidden butismadeimmediatelyclear.Example:HowtoWinFriendsand InfluencePeople. Theyarousecuriosityandinvitereadership.Thekeyhereisnottobe outrageousbuttoaddressthestrongestinterestsandconcernsofyour targetaudience.Example:DoyouMakeTheseMistakesinEnglish? appealstothereadersdesiretoavoidembarrassmentandwriteand speakproperly. Theyprovideinformation.TheheadlineHowtoStopEmissionProblems atHalftheCostofConventionalAirPollutionControlDevicesluresthe readerbecauseitpromisesusefulinformation.Prospectstodayseek specific,usableinformationonhighlyspecializedtopics.Adsthatprovide informationthereaderwantsgethigherreadershipandbetterresponse. Theytalktothereader.Whyaresomanysuccessfulcontroladswrittenby directresponseentrepreneursratherthetopfreelancecopywritersand directresponseagencies? Mytheoryisthatwhenpeopleseeanondirectresponsead,theyknowits

justaremindertypeadandfiguretheydonthavetoreadit. Because,althoughtheseentrepreneursmaynotbeprofessionalwriters,

theyknowtheirproduct,theiraudienceandwhatholdstheiraudiencesinterest. Andthatisfarmoreimportantthancopywritingtechniqueorstyle. Theyareknowledgeable.Successfuladcopyreflectsahighlevelof knowledgeandunderstandingoftheproductandtheproblemitsolves.An effectivetechniqueistotellthereadersomethinghealreadyknows,

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provingthatyou,theadvertiser,arewellversedinhisindustry,application orrequirement. Anoppositestyle,ineffectivelyusedbymanyprofessionalagency

copywriters,istoreduceeverythingtothesimplestcommondenominatorand assumethereaderiscompletelyignorant.Butthiscaninsultthereaders intelligenceanddestroyyourcredibilitywithhim. Theyhaveastrongfreeoffer.Goodadscontainastrongeroffer.Theytell thereaderthenextstepinthebuyingprocessandencouragehimtotake itNOW. Alladsshouldhaveanoffer,becausetheoffergeneratesimmediate

responseandbusinessfromprospectsthatarereadytobuynoworatleast thinkingaboutbuying.Withoutanoffer,theseurgentprospectsarenot encouragedtoreachouttoyou,andyoulosemanypotentialcustomers. Inaddition,strongoffersincreasereadership,becausepeoplelikeadsthat

offerthemsomethingespeciallyifitisfreeandhashighperceivedvalue. Writersofimageadvertisingmayobject,Butdoesntmakinganoffer

cheapenthead,destroyourimage?Afterall,wewantawareness,notresponse. Buthowdoesofferingafreebookletweakentherestofthead?Itdoesnt,of course.Theentirenotionthatyoucannotsimultaneouslyelicitaresponseand communicateamessageisabsurdandwithoutfoundation. Theyaredesignedtoemphasizetheoffer. Graphictechniquessuchaskickersoreyebrows(copylinesabovethe headline),boldheadlines,liberaluseofsubheads,bulletedornumbered copypoints,coupons,sketchofatelephone,tollfreenumberssetinlarge type,picturesofresponsebookletsandbrochures,dashedborders, asterisks,andmarginalnotesmakeyouradsmoreeyecatchingand responseoriented,increasingreadership.
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Why?Mytheoryisthatwhenpeopleseeanondirectresponsead,they

knowitsjustaremindertypeadandfiguretheydonthavetoreadit.Butwhen theyseeresponsetypegraphicdevices,thesevisualssaytothereader,Stop!This isaresponsead!Readitsoyoucanfindoutwhatweareoffering.Andmailthe couponsoyoucangetitNOW! Theyareclearlyillustrated.Goodadvertisingdoesnotuseabstractartor conceptsthatforcethereadertopuzzleoutwhatisbeingsold.Ideally,you shouldbeabletounderstandexactlywhattheadvertiserspropositionis withinfivesecondsoflookingatthead.AsJohnCaplesobservedalong timeago,thebestvisualforanadforarecordclubisprobablyapicture ofrecords. Ataboutthispoint,someonefromDDBwillstandupandobject:Waita

minute.Yousaidthesearethecharacteristicsofasuccessfuldirectresponsead. Butisntgeneraladvertisingdifferent? Maybe.Butoneofthewaystomakeyourgeneraladvertisingmore

effectiveistowriteanddesignitasadirectresponsead.Applyingallthestockin tradetechniquesofthedirectmarketer(coupons,tollfreenumbers,freebooklets, reasonwhycopy,benefitheadlines,informativesubheads)virtuallyguarantees thatyouradvertisementwillbebetterreadandgetmoreresponsethanthe averageimagead. IagreewithHowardRuffwhenhesaysthateverythingamarketerdoes

shouldbedirectresponse.Ithinkthegeneraladvertisingpeoplewhoclaimthata couponorfreebookletofferruinstheirlyricalcopyorstark,dramaticlayoutare ineffectualartistsmoreinterestedinappearanceandportfoliosthanresults.

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7waystocreatebusinesspublicationadvertisingthatgetsresults Howdoyoucreateanindustrialortradeadthatgetsattention,winshigh

readershipscores,andgeneratesasteadyflowofvaluableinquiriesthatconvert easilytosales? Herearesomeideas,basedonstudy(conductedtogathermaterialfor

mybook,AdsThatSell)ofsomeadvertisementsthathaveprovensuccessfulin themarketplace: 1.Putabenefitintheheadline. ThemostsuccessfuladIeverwrote(whichwasthenumberoneinquiry

producerinfourconsecutiveinsertions)hadtheheadlines: HOWTOSOLVEYOUREMISSIONSPROBLEMS... ...athalftheenergycostonconventionalventuriscrubbers. Theheadlinecombinesapowerfulbenefit(halftheenergycost)withthe

promiseofusefulinformation(howto)addresseddirectlyatthereaders specificproblem(solveyouremissionsproblems). 2.Askaprovocativequestion. MyfriendBobPallacewroteanadthatgeneratedanimmediate$1million

increaseinbillingsforhisadagencyinSilverSpring,Maryland.Theheadlinewas: AREYOUTIREDOFWORKINGFOR YOURADAGENCY? Theadranonlyonetimeineachofthreemagazines(HighTechMarketing,

BusinessMarketing,Inc.)andimmediatelybroughtinfivenewclients. 3.Bedirect. Anadagencyaskedmetowriteanadtogeneratesalesleadsforaclient

thatrepairsandrestoresoldsurgicaltables.Whentheysentmetheirliterature,I usedtheheadlineontheirbrochureastheheadlineforthead. Itread:

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 SURGICALTABLESREBUILT FreeLoanersAvailable Theadwassuccessful,anddemonstratesthatwhenyouaretheonlyone

advertisingaparticularproductorservice,orwhenthenatureofyourofferis hardtograsp,directheadlinescanbeextremelyeffective.Anotherdirectheadline IlikeappearedinanadrunninginNetworkWorld: LINK8PCSTOYOURMAINFRAME ONLY$2,395 DonaldReddy,presidentofthefirm,saidtheadwasextremelyeffectivein

generatingasmallbutsteadyflowofhighlyqualifiedsalesleads. 4.Givethereaderusefulinformation. Onewaytoincreasereadershipistopromisethereaderusefulinformation

inyourheadline,thendeliveritinyouradcopy. Foranadofferingbusinesspeopleabookonhowtocollectoverduebills,

MiltPiercewrotethisheadline: 7WAYSTOCOLLECTYOUR UNPAIDBILLS. NewfromDowJonesIrwin... ASuccessfulandProvenWay toGetYourBillsPaidFaster. Theinformationtypeadishighlyeffectiveinbusinesstobusiness

advertising.Why?Becausethereasonbusinesspeoplereadtradejournalsisfor information,notentertainment,andsuchadscontributetothatvaluablestore ofdata. 5.Offerafreebooklet,brochure,orinformationkit.

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Offeringsomethingtangibleabrochure,booklet,informationkit,

videotape,audiocassette,researchreport,checklist,orothermaterialthereader cansendforhasneverfailedtoincreaseresponseformeinnearlyadecade ofadwriting. Attheendofyourad,putinasubheadofferingthematerial(forexample:

GetthefactsFREE!).Thendescribeyourbrochureorbooklet,showapictureof it,andexplainwhatthereadermustdotogetit. Ifyoucanaddsomethingtoasalesbrochuretomakeitoflastingvalue,

somuchthebetter.Morepeoplewillrequestyourpieceandmorepeoplewill keepit. 6.Useacoupon. Couponsvisuallyidentifyyouradasdirectresponse,causingmore

peopletostopandreadit(becausetheyknowthatcouponadsusuallyofferfree thingsofvalue).Iftheadisonethirdpageorless,putadashedborderaroundthe entireadtocreatethefeelandappearanceofacoupon.Copytheninstructsthe reader.Formoreinformation,clipthisadandmailwithyourbusinesscardto {companyname,address}. 7.Useaheadlinewithmultipleparts: Aheadlinedoesnothavetocontainjustonesentenceorphrasesetinone

uniformtypesize.Often,youcancreateamoreeyecatchingandeffective headlineusingwhatisessentiallyathreepartheadline. Thefirstpart,orkicker,isaneyebroworshortlinethatgoesintheupper

leftcornerofthead,eitherstraightorataslant.Onegooduseofthekickeristo selectaspecifictypeofreaderforthead(e.g.,AttentionCOBOLProgrammers). Anothereffectivetechniqueistoletthereaderknowyouareofferingsomething free(SpecialFreeOfferSeeCouponBelow).

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Next,setinlargertype,comesyourmailheadline,whichstatesyourcentral

benefitormakesapowerfulpromise.Then,inthesubhead,youexpandonthe benefitorrevealthespecificnatureofthepromise.Examples: $500ADAYWRITERSUTOPIA Heresthebreakthroughofferthatopens upawholenewworldforwritersorthose whohopetobecomewriters: FORHIGHSPEEDHIGHPERFORMANCE DATAINTEGRATION,LOOKINTOMAGIC MIRROR.Nowyoucanmovedatainstantlyfrom oneprogramtoanotherrightfromyourPCscreen. Ifyourheadlineisdesignedtoarousecuriosityorgrabattentionanddoes

soattheexpenseofclarity,thenbesuretomakethenatureofyourproposition immediatelyclearinasubheadorwithinthefirstsentence.Otherwiseyouwill losetheinterestofthereaderwhoseattentionyouworkedsohardtogain.

Section5 TheMagicofFalseLogic
Falselogic,atermcoinedbymyfriend,mastercopywriterMichael

Masterson,iscopythatmanipulates(butdoesnotlieaboutormisrepresent), throughskillfulwriting,existingfacts.Theobjective:tohelpreaderscometo conclusionsthatthosefacts,presentedwithoutthetwistsofthecopywriterspen, mightnototherwisesupport.

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AcatalogforHarry&Davidsaysofitspears,Notonepersonin1,000has

evertastedthem.Thestatistic,aspresentedbythecatalogwriter,makesthe productsoundrareandexclusiveandthatshowtheaveragereaderinterpretsit, justasthecopywriterintended. Butalogiciananalyzingthatstatementmightsaythatitsimplyindicates

thatthepearsarenotverypopularalmostnoonebuysthem. Itspossibletoarguethatsomefalselogicbordersondeception,butthe

marketerhastomakethatcallforhimself. Ametalsbrokeradvertised95%ofordersshippedfromstocktoindicate

readyavailability.Butheranhisbusinessoutofanofficeandhadnowarehouse. Howcouldheclaimheshippedfromstock? Wedoship95%ofordersfromstock,themarketerexplains.Butnot

fromourstockfromthemetalsuppliersstock.Wearejustabroker.Butwedo notadvertisethat,sincebeingabrokerisperceivedasanegative. Apromotionsellingastockmarketnewslettertoconsumerscompares

the$99subscriptionpricewiththe$2,000theeditorwouldchargeifhewere managingyourmoneyforyou,basedona2%feeandaminimuminvestment of$100,000. ThereaderthinksheisgettingMr.Editortogivehim$2,000worthof

moneymanagementservicesfor$99,andquicklyglossesoverthefactthatthe newsletterisnotpreciselythesameasamanagedaccount. AsimilarexampleisthepromotiondonebymyfriendDonHauptmanfor

AmericanSpeaker,alooseleafserviceforexecutivesonhowtogivegoodspeeches. Inhispromotion,hepointsoutthatthisproductcanhelpyouwithyourspeeches allyearlong(ithasperiodicsupplements)vs.the$5,000itcoststohavea professionalspeechwriterwritejustonespeech.Butofcourse,AmericanSpeakeris notactuallywritingyourspeechforyou.

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Thereisanongoingdebateaboutwhetherpeoplebuyforemotionalor

logicalreasons,butmostsuccessfulmarketersknowthattheformerismore dominantasabuyingmotivethanthelatter.Itiscommonlysaid,Peoplebuy basedonemotion,thenrationalizethepurchasedecisionwithlogic. Becausetheyhavemadethebuyingdecisionbasedonstrongfeelingsand

ingrainedbeliefs,theyareinessencelookingforjustificationandsupportforwhat theyalreadywanttodo. Therefore,aslongasthelogicalargumentseemscredibleandsensible,they

willacceptit.Theydonotprobeintoitasscientificallyordeeplyaswould,say, RalphNaderoraninvestigativereporterforConsumerReports. Somecriticsviewdirectmarketingasastepbelowgeneralmarketingin

respectability,ethics,andhonesty.Andperhapstheymightreasonthatmy advocatingtheuseoffalselogicaddsfueltotheirargument. Butinfact,falselogicisnotjustthepurviewofdirectmarketers;general

marketersuseitroutinely,somewithgreatsuccess. Foryears,McDonaldsadvertisedbillionssoldtopromotetheir

hamburgerleadingcustomerstothefalseconclusionthatjustbecausesomething ispopular,itisnecessarilygood.Publishersusesimilarlogicwhentheytrumpeta bookasaNewYorkTimesbestseller. Isallthisunethical?Youcandrawyourownconclusion,butinmy

opinion,no. Acopywriter,likealawyer,isanadvocatefortheclient(orhisemployer).

Justasthelawyerusesalltheargumentsathisdisposaltowinthecase,sodoes thecopywriteruseallthefactsathisdisposaltowintheconsumeroverto theproduct. Certainly,weshouldmarketnoproductsthatareillegal,dangerous,or

immoral,thoughonemansVictoriaSecretscatalogisanothermanssoftporn.
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Buttonotuseallthetoolsatourdisposal(includingfalselogic)topersuadethe buyeriseitherincompetence,failuretodischargefiduciaryduties,orboth.

Section6

HowtoWriteSubjectLinesThatGetYourEmail OpenedandRead
Whenprospectsgetyouremailmarketingmessage,theymakeaquick decision,usuallyinacoupleofseconds,toopenordeleteitbasedlargelyonthe subjectline.Butgiventheglutofpromotionalemailtoday,howcanyouconvince abusyprospectinjustafewwordsthatyourmessageisworthyofattention? The4Uscopywritingformulawhichstandsforurgent,unique,ultra specific,andusefulcanhelp. OriginallydevelopedbymycolleagueMichaelMastersonforwritingmore powerfulheadlines,the4Usformulaworksespeciallywellwithemailsubject lines.Illshareitwithyounow. Accordingtothisformula,strongsubjectlinesare: Urgent.Urgencygivesthereaderareasontoactnowinsteadoflater.You cancreateasenseofurgencyinyoursubjectlinebyincorporatingatime element.Forinstance,Make$100,000workingfromhomethisyearhasa greatersenseofurgencythanMake$100,000workingfromhome.A senseofurgencycanalsobecreatedwithatimelimitedspecialoffer,such asadiscountorpremiumifyouorderbyacertaindate. Unique.Thepowerfulsubjectlineeithersayssomethingnew,orifitsays somethingthereaderhasheardbefore,saysitinanewandfreshway.For example,WhyJapanesewomenhavebeautifulskinwasthesubjectline
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inanemailpromotingaJapanesebathkit.Thisisdifferentthanthetypical Save10%onJapaneseBathKits. Ultraspecific.Boardroomistheabsolutemasterofultraspecificbullets, knownasfascinations,thatteasethereaderintoreadingfurtherand orderingtheproduct.Examples:Whatnevertoeatonanairplane,Bills itsokaytopaylate,andBesttimetofileforataxrefund.Theyusesuch fascinationsindirectmailasenvelopeteasersandinemailassubjectlines. Useful.Thestrongsubjectlineappealstothereadersselfinterestby offeringabenefit.InthesubjectlineAnInvitationtoSki&Save,the benefitissavingmoney. Whenyouhavewrittenyoursubjectline,askyourselfhowstrongit isineachofthese4Us.Useascaleof1to4(1=weak,4=strong)torankitin eachcategory. Rarelywillasubjectlineratea3or4onallfourUs.Butifyoursubjectline doesntratea3or4onatleastthreeoftheUs,itsprobablynotasstrongasit couldbeandcanbenefitfromsomerewriting. Acommonmistakeistodefendaweaksubjectlinebypointingtoagood response.Abetterwaytothinkisasfollows:Iftheemailgeneratedaprofitable responsedespiteaweaksubjectline,imaginehowmuchmoremoneyyoucould havemadebyapplyingthe4Us. Asoftwaremarketerwrotetotellmehehadsentoutasuccessfulemail marketingcampaignwiththesubjectlineFreeWhitePaper.Howdoesthis stackupagainstthe4Us? Urgent.Thereisnourgencyorsenseoftimeliness.Onascaleof1to4,with 4beingthehighestrating,FreeWhitePaperisa1. Unique.Noteverysoftwaremarketeroffersafreewhitepaper,butalotof themdo.SoFreeWhitePaperratesonlya2intermsofuniqueness.
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Ultraspecific.CouldthemarketerhavebeenlessspecificthanFreeWhite Paper?Yes,hecouldhavejustsaidfreebonusgift.SowerateFree WhitePapera2insteadofa1.

Useful.Isupposethereaderissmartenoughtofigurethewhitepaper containssomehelpfulinformationhecanuse.Ontheotherhand,the usefulnessisinthespecificinformationcontainedinthepaper,whichisnt evenhintedatintheheadline.Anddoestherecipient,whoalreadyhastoo muchtoread,reallyneedyetanotherFreeWhitePaper?Irateita2. Specifyingthetopicwouldhelp,e.g.,FreeWhitePapershowshowtocut trainingcostsupto90%withelearning. Iurgeyoutogothroughthisexercisewitheveryemailsubjectlineyou

write.Youcanalsoapplytheformulatoothercopy,bothonlineandoffline, includingdirectmailenvelopeteasers,adheadlines,letterleads,Webpage headlines,subheads,andbullets. RatethelineyouvewritteninallfourUs.Thenrewriteitsoyoucan upgradeyourratingonatleast2andpreferably3or4ofthecategoriesbyat least1.Thissimpleexercisemayincreasereadershipandresponserates substantiallyforverylittleeffort.

Section7 ReachYourProspectsonaDeeperLevel: TheBFDFormulaforUncovering YourCustomersCoreBuyingComplex

Howwelldoyoureallyknowyourcustomers? Readingthelistdatacardsisagoodwaytofindoutsomethingaboutthe

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folksyouaremailingto,butitsnotenough.Knowingthatyouarewritingto farmers,InformationTechnology(IT)professionals,orplumbersisjustthestart. Youhavetodigdeeper.Buthow? Towritepowerfulcopy,youhavetogobeyondthedemographicsto

understandwhatreallymotivatesthesepeople:whotheyare,whattheywant, howtheyfeel,andwhattheirbiggestproblemsandconcernsarethatyour productcanhelpsolve. Onedirectmarketertoldme,Wewanttoreachprospectsonthreelevels

intellectual,emotional,andpersonal. Intellectualisthefirstleveland,whileeffective,notasstrongastheother

two.Anintellectualappealisbasedonlogice.g.,Buythestockswerecommend inourinvestmentnewsletterandyouwillbeatthemarketby50to100percent. Morepowerfulistoreachtheprospectonanemotionallevel.Emotionsthat

canbetappedincludefear,greed,love,vanity,and,forfundraising,benevolence. Goingbacktoourexampleofastockmarketnewsletter,theemotionalappeal mightbe,Ouradvicecanhelpyoucutyourlossesandmakemuchmoremoney, soyoubecomemuchwealthierthanyourfriendsandneighbors.Youllbeableto paycashforyournextcaraLexus,BMW,oranyluxuryautomobileyoucareto ownandyoullsleepbetteratnight. Themostpowerfullyyoucanreachpeopleisonapersonallevel.Again,

fromourexampleofastockmarketnewsletter:Didyouloseasmallfortunein theApril2000techstockmeltdown?Somuchthatitputyourdreamsof retirementorfinancialindependenceonhold?Nowyoucangainbackeverything youlost,rebuildyournetworth,andmakeyourdreamofearlyretirementor financialindependencecometrue.Alotsoonerthanyouthink. Toreachyourprospectsonallthreelevelsintellectual,emotional,and

personalyoumustunderstandwhatcopywriterMichaelMastersoncallsthe
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buyersCoreComplex.Thesearetheemotions,attitudes,andaspirationsthat drivethem,asrepresentedbytheformulaBFDbeliefs,feelings,anddesires: Beliefs.Whatdoesyouraudiencebelieve?Whatistheirattitudetoward yourproductandtheproblemsorissuesitaddresses? Feelings.Howdotheyfeel?Aretheyconfidentandbrash?Nervousand fearful?Whatdotheyfeelaboutthemajorissuesintheirlives,businesses, orindustries? Desires.Whatdotheywant?Whataretheirgoals?Whatchangedothey wantintheirlivesthatyourproductcanhelpthemachieve? Forinstance,wedidthisexercisewithITpeople,foracompanythatgives

seminarsincommunicationandinterpersonalskillsforITprofessionals.Heres whatwecameupwithinagroupmeeting: Beliefs.ITpeoplethinktheyaresmarterthanotherpeople,technologyisthe mostimportantthingintheworld,usersarestupid,andmanagement doesntappreciatethemenough. Feelings.ITpeopleoftenhaveanadversarialrelationshipwithmanagement andusers,bothofwhomtheyservice.Theyfeelothersdislikethem,look downuponthem,anddonotunderstandwhattheydo. Desires.ITpeoplewanttobeappreciatedandrecognized.Theyalsoprefer todealwithcomputersandavoidpeoplewheneverpossible.Andthey wantbiggerbudgets. Basedonthisanalysis,particularlythefeelings,thecompanycreateda

directmailletterthatwasitsmostsuccessfulevertopromoteaseminar; InterpersonalSkillsforITProfessionals.Theratherunusualheadline: Importantnewsforeverysystemsprofessionalwhohaseverfeltliketellinga user,Gotohell.

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Beforewritingcopy,writeoutinnarrativeformtheBFDofyourtarget

market.Sharethesewithyourteamandcometoanagreementonthem.Then writecopybasedontheagreedBFD. Occasionallyinsightsintotheprospectsdesiresandconcernscanbe

gleanedthroughformalmarketresearch.Forinstance,acopywriterworkingona cookingoilaccountwasreadingafocusgrouptranscriptandcameacrossthis commentfromauser:Ifriedchickenintheoilandthenpouredtheoilbackinto ameasuringcup.Alltheoilwasthereexceptoneteaspoon. Thiscomment,buriedintheappendixofafocusgroupreport,becamethe

basisofasuccessfulTVcampaigndramatizingthesellingpointthatfooddidnot absorbtheoilandthereforewasnotgreasywhencookedinit. VeteranadmanJoeSaccooncehadanassignmenttowriteacampaignfora

newneedleusedbydiabeticstoinjectinsulin.Whatwasthekeysellingpoint? ThediabeticsSaccotalkedtoallpraisedtheneedlebecauseitwassharp.

Anonuserwouldprobablyviewbeingsharpasanegative.Butifyouhave evergivenyourselforanyoneelseaninjection,youknowthatsharperneedles goinsmoother,withnopain.AndSaccowroteasuccessfuladcampaignbased ontheclaimthattheseneedlesweresharp,thereforeenablingeasier,painfree insulininjection. CopywriterDonHauptmanadvises,Startwiththeprospect,notthe

product.WithBFD,youcanquicklygainadeeperunderstandingofyour prospectsbeforeyouattempttosellthemsomething.Strongermarketing campaignsusuallyfollow.

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Section8

TipsonUsingTestimonials
Wheneveracustomersendsaletterwithpositivecommentsaboutyour companyorproduct,immediatelyseekpermissiontousethistestimonialinyour ads,brochures,directmail,andotherpromotions. Theeasiestwaytodothisistosendareleaselettertotheclient(along

withaphotocopyofthetestimonialletter,withthepassagesyouwanttoreprint highlightedinyellow). Mr.MikeJones AdvertisingManager WorldEnterprises Anytown,USA DearMike: Thanksforyourletterof12/12/87(copyattached).Imglad yourepleasedwithourproduct! Idliketoquotefromyourletterintheads,brochures,directmail, andotherpromotionsweusetomarketourproductwithyour permission,ofcourse. IfthisisOKwithyou,wouldyoupleasesignthebottomofthisletter andsenditbacktomeintheenvelopeenclosed. Thesecondcopyisforyourfiles. Manythanks,Mike. Regards, JaneSmith
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Yourreleaselettercanfollowthisbasicformat:

 YES,YOUHAVEMYPERMISSIONTOQUOTEFROMTHE ATTACHEDLETTERINADS,BROCHURES,MAILANDOTHER PROMOTIONSUSEDTOMARKETYOURPRODUCT. Signed____________________Date________________ Ialwaysencloseaselfaddressedstampedreplyenvelopeplusasecond

copyofthepermissionletter(fortherecipientsfiles). SolicitingTestimonials Ifyourcustomersdontsendyoulettersofpraise(andmanywont),then

youcanaskthemtogiveyouatestimonial.How?Simplysendalettertoclients andcustomerswhoarehappywithyourproductorserviceandaskfortheir comments.HeresaletterIuse(feelfreetocopyoradaptit): Mr.AlexSamuels ProductSupervisor XYZCorporation Anyplace,USA DearAlex: Ihaveafavortoaskofyou. Imintheprocessofputtingtogetherabookletoftestimonials acollectionofcommentsaboutmyservices,fromsatisfiedclients likeyou. Wouldyoupleasetakeafewminutestogivemeyouropinionofmy consultingservices? Theresnoneedtodictatealetterjustjotyourcommentsonthe backofthisletter,signbelow,andreturntomeintheenclosed envelope.(Thesecondcopyisforyourfiles).

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IlookforwardtolearningwhatyoulikeaboutmyservicebutI alsowelcomeanysuggestionsorcriticisms,too. Manythanks,Alex. Regards,BobBly YOUHAVEMYPERMISSIONTOQUOTEFROMMY COMMENTS,ANDUSETHESEQUOTATIONSINADS, BROCHURES,MAILANDOTHERPROMOTIONSUSEDTO MARKETYOURSERVICES. Signed___________________Date_________________ NotethatIamaskingforanopinioninsteadofatestimonial,andthatI

urgeAlextogivemecriticismsaswellaspositivecomments.Inthisway,Imnot justaskingforafavor,Imgettinginformationthatwillhelpmeservemyclients betterinthefuture.Thus,Imnottheonlyonewhoprofits;webothdo. Ifyousolicittestimonialsfromyoursatisfiedclientsandcustomers,and

youalwaysgetpermissiontouseanyunsolicitedtestimonialsthatpeoplesend you,youllsoonbuildathicktestimonialfile.Becauseyouvegottenpeopleto giveyouablanketreleasetousetheircommentsanywayyouchoose,youcan usethesetestimonialsinanyorallofyourmarketingmaterialsfromadsand salesletters,tobrochuresandcatalogs. Onequickandeasywaytousethesetestimonialsissimplytotypethemup

singlespacedandreprintthemonan8by11inchsheetofpaper.Theheadline reads:WHATTHEYSAYABOUT(yourcompanyorproduct).Ifyouhavealot oftestimonials,youcanprintonthereversesideorgotoasecondsheet.Dont forgettoincludeyouraddressandphonenumberatthebottomofthepage.Use thetestimonialsheetasahandout,asanadditionalenclosureindirectmail packages,orasasupplementtoyoursalesbrochure.

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Alwaysgivethesheetandaduplicateofyourfulltestimonialfiletoanyad

agency,copywriter,ormarketingconsultantyouhire.Itwillbetremendously helpfultothemwhentheycreateads,brochures,anddirectmailpackagesforyou. Onusingtestimonials Usingtestimonialsquotationsfromsatisfiedcustomersandclientsis

oneofthesimplestandmosteffectivewaysofaddingpunchandpowerto brochure,adanddirectmailcopy. Buthowdoyougettestimonials?Howdoyouusethem? Herearesometipsforusingtestimonials: 1.Alwaysuserealtestimonialsinsteadofmadeupones.Eventhemostskilled

copywritercanrarelymakeupatestimonialthatcanmatchthesincerityand credibilityofgenuinewordsofpraisefromarealcustomerorclient. Ifyouaskacustomertogiveyouatestimonial,andheorshesays,Sure,

justwritesomethingandIllsignit,politelyreply:Gee,Iappreciatethat,but wouldyoumindjustgivingmeyouropinionsofourproductinyourown words?Fabricatedorselfauthoredtestimonials(thosewrittenbytheadvertiser ortheircopywriter)usuallysoundphony;genuinetestimonialsinvariablyhave theringoftruth. 2.Preferlongtestimonialstoshortones.Manyadvertisersarehookedon

usingveryshorttestimonials.Forinstance: ...fabulous!... trulyfunny...thoughtprovoking... ...excellent...wonderful... Ibelievethatwhenpeopleseetheseultrashorttestimonials,theysuspect

thataskillfuleditingjobhasmaskedacommentthatwasnotasfavorableasthe writermakesitappear.Inmyopinion,longertestimonialssay,twoorthree sentencesversusasinglewordorphrasecomeacrossasmorebelievable.

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Forexample: Frankly,Iwasnervousaboutusinganoutsideconsultant.Butyourexcellentservicehas mademeabeliever!Youcanbesurethatwellbecallingonyourfirmtoorganizeallour majorsalesconferencesandothermeetingsforus.Thanksforajobwelldone! Sure,itslonger,butitsomehowseemsmoresincerethanaoneword

superlative.Whichbringsusto.... 3.Preferspecific,detailedtestimonialstogeneralorsuperlativetestimonials.

Uponreceivingaletterofpraisefromacustomer,ourinitialreactionistoreadthe letterandfindthesinglesentencethatdirectlypraisesourcompanyorour product.Withabluepencil,weextractthewordswethinkarekindestaboutus, producingablandbitofpufferysuchas: Weareverypleasedwithyourproduct. Actually,mosttestimonialswouldbestrongerifweincludedmoreofthe

specific,detailedcommentsourclienthasmadeabouthowourproductorservice helpedhim.Afterall,theprospectswearetryingtoselltomayhaveproblems similartotheoneourcurrentcustomersolvedusingourproduct.IfweletMr. CustomertellMr.Prospecthowourcompanycametohisrescue,hellbehelping usmakethesale.Forinstance: WehaveinstalledyournewChemiCoatsystemineachofourbottlinglinesandhave alreadyexperienceda25percentsavingsinenergyandmaterialcosts.Thankstoyour system,wehavenowaddedanadditionalproductionlinewithnoincreaseinenergycosts. Thishasincreasedprofits15percentandalreadypaidbacktheinvestmentinyour product.Weareverypleasedwithyourproduct. Again,donttrytopolishthecustomerswordssoitsoundslike

professionaladcopy.Testimonialsareusuallymuchmoreconvincingwhenthey arenoteditedforstyle.

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4.Usefullattribution.Weveallopeneddirectmailpackagesthatcontained

testimonialsfromJ.B.inArizonaorJimS.,SelfMadeMillionaire.Isuspect thatmanypeoplelaughatsuchtestimonialsandthinktheyarephony. Toincreasethebelievabilityforyourtestimonials,attributeeachquotation. Includethepersonsname,cityandstate,and(ifabusinesscustomer)theirjob titleandcompany(e.g.,JimK.Redding,vicepresidentofmanufacturing,Divmet Corporation,Fairfield,NJ).Peoplearemorelikelytobelievethissortoffull disclosurethantestimonialswhichseemtoconcealtheidentityofthespeaker. 5.Groupyourtestimonials.Therearetwobasicwaystopresenttestimonials:

Youcangroupthemtogetherinoneareaofyourbrochureorad,oryoucan scatterthemthroughoutthecopy.Athirdalternativeistocombinethetwo techniques,havingmanytestimonialsinaboxorbuckslipandasmatteringof othertestimonialsthroughouttherestofyourcopy. Iveseenbothapproachesworkwell,andthesuccessofthepresentation

depends,inpart,ontheskillofthewriterandthespecificnatureofthepiece.But, allelsebeingequal,Ipreferthefirstapproach:togroupallyourtestimonialsand presentthemasasingleblockofcopy.Thiscanbedoneinabox,onaseparate pageoronaseparatesheet.Myfeelingisthatwhentheprospectreadsahalf dozenorsotestimonials,onerightafteranother,theyhavemoreimpactand powerthanwhenthetestimonialsareseparatedandscatteredthroughout thepiece. 6.Getpermission.Makesureyougetpermissionfromyourcustomerto

reprinthiswordsbeforeincludinghistestimonialinyourcopy. Isuggestthatyousendaletterquotingthelinesyouwanttoreprintand

askpermissiontoincludetheminads,directmail,brochures,andothermaterials usedtopromoteyourfirm.NoticeImaskingforageneralreleasethatgivesme permissiontousethecustomersquotationinallcurrentandfuturepromotions,

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notjustaspecificadorletter.Thisletsmegetmoremileageoutofhisfavorable commentandeliminatestheneedtoaskpermissioneverytimeIwanttousethe quoteinanewadorletter.

Abouttheauthor:
BOBBLYisanindependentcopywriterandconsultantwithmore

than20yearsofexperienceinbusinesstobusiness,hightech,industrial,and directmarketing. Bobhaswrittencopyforover100clientsincludingNetworkSolutions,

ITTFluidTechnology,MedicalEconomics,Intuit,Business&LegalReports,and BrooklynUnionGas.AwardsincludeaGoldEchofromtheDirectMarketing Association,anIMMYfromtheInformationIndustryAssociation,twoSouthstar Awards,anAmericanCorporateIdentityAwardofExcellence,andtheStandard ofExcellenceawardfromtheWebMarketingAssociation. Heistheauthorofmorethan50booksincludingTheCompleteIdiotsGuide

toDirectMarketing(AlphaBooks)andTheCopywritersHandbook(HenryHolt& Co.).HisarticleshaveappearedinnumerouspublicationssuchasDMNews, WritersDigest,AmtrakExpress,Cosmopolitan,InsideDirectMail,andBits&Pieces forSalespeople. Bobhaspresentedmarketing,sales,andwritingseminarsforsuchgroups

astheU.S.Army,IndependentLaboratoryDistributorsAssociation,American InstituteofChemicalEngineers,andtheAmericanMarketingAssociation.

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Healsotaughtbusinesstobusinesscopywritingandtechnicalwritingat NewYorkUniversity. Bobwritessalesletters,directmailpackages,ads,emailmarketing

campaigns,brochures,articles,pressreleases,whitepapers,Websites, newsletters,scripts,andothermarketingmaterialsclientsneedtoselltheir productsandservicestobusinesses.Healsoconsultswithclientsonmarketing strategy,mailorderselling,andleadgenerationprograms. Priortobecominganindependentcopywriterandconsultant,Bobwas

advertisingmanagerforKochEngineering,amanufacturerofprocessequipment. HehasalsoworkedasamarketingcommunicationswriterforWestinghouse Defense.BobBlyholdsaB.S.inchemicalengineeringfromtheUniversityof RochesterandhasbeentrainedasaCertifiedNovellAdministrator(CNA).Heis amemberoftheAmericanInstituteofChemicalEngineersandtheBusiness MarketingAssociation. BobhasappearedasaguestondozensofTVandradioshowsincluding

MoneyTalk1350,TheAdvertisingShow,BernardMeltzer,BillBresnan,CNBC, WinninginBusiness,TheSmallBusinessAdvocateandCBSHardCopy.Hehas beenfeaturedinmajormediarangingfromtheLATimesandNationsBusinessto theNewYorkPostandtheNationalEnquirer. ForaFREECopywritingInformationKit,orafree,noobligationcost

estimateoncopywritingforyournextproject,contact: BobBly,Copywriter 22EastQuackenbushAvenue,3rdFloor,Dumont,NJ07628 Phone(201)3851220,Fax(201)3851138 Email:rwbly@bly.com Web:www.bly.com

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