Victoria University A.F.

Season Summary 2010

Captains Report
Kia ora everyone, 2010 has been a fantastic year for football. It started with the glow of the All Whites World Cup qualification still gripping the country, and then bolstered by the fantastic run by the Phoenix to come within 90 minutes and one blatant Chris Payne handball to making the ALeague Grand Final. But of course, the highlight had to be the World Cup. I was there in my official capacity as VUWAFCs roving ambassador and scout. The World Cup was unbelievable. My ears are still recovering from those wretched vuvuzelas (though we are looking to make them a fixture for the fans at KP). Highlight was calling the Italians cheats on Radio NZ! The World Cup has a first time winner and New Zealand is the only unbeaten team of the 2010. However, the billiard-pitches of Polokwane and Soccer City Stadium are a far cry from Kelburn Park on a wintery day. Tonight we remember the season past, celebrate success and commiserate with others. For those who dont know, Vic is one of the largest senior football clubs in Wellington. With eighteen teams (fifteen mens and three womens) there is something for every sort of player, from the most competitive to the most social. Special mention goes to the Bombers this year, the first Vic team to play in the Masters grade. That raised eyebrows from other clubs, and led to questions about when the Bombers were going to graduate. In some ways, that raises the question about Vic as a club. Form outside were predominantly seen as a student club and while a huge proportion of our players are current students, there are many players throughout the grades who have stayed at the club long after their student days are over. Many have played all of their senior football in Wellington for Vic. Others have even returned to the club after their OEs the lure of Happy Valley 2 on a July afternoon outstripping summer in Prague. Some of the fixed sides, like the Bombers, Raiders and Goldenrods have been around since last century, and dont get me started about the Scarfies... That loyalty is one of a number of strengths this club has. The Committee is looking to develop a better planned strategy for the club, to build on that and the successes of this year. And as one of the largest clubs in Wellington we have been involved with Capital Footballs review of mens competitions. On the field it has been one of the most successful years in recent memory. The Womens Firsts won the Premier Womens Cup competition last Saturday. Capital 7 was a one-two finish with the Mens 4ths taking top spot with a week to spare and the Stallions winning on the last weekend to follow them up. The Beavers took out a title for the second year in a row, and made the Cup final for their grade. The Unicorns and Honey Badgers also guaranteed promotion for next season. With fine second places in Capital 12 and 14 respectively. The Womens Second team finished second in their league as well. Even some of the sides that might have found it hard during the season put on a good performance at the end, with the Raiders and Bombers making Cup Finals, and the Beavers with a good chance of winning the League/Cup double.

The Mens Firsts season came down to the game midweek, and with a 2-1 win over Olympic they booked themselves into a playoff with Brooklyn Northern for a place in Capital One next year. So at the time of print their season was still hanging in the balance with promotion back to our rightful place in Capital 1 just a game away. By the time you read this their fate will have been decided. And once again, the Gossies once again scored a victory over their Capital 2 rivals. We also ran a number of new social events, including our first mid-season ball. Congratulations go to Graeme and Megan, our darts champions, the Goldenrods, quiz nite victors and the Uni Rangers, X-Box World Cup winners. Thanks to Tessa for running the show while I was in South Africa, and all the Committee for their support throughout the year. The club would not survive it would simply cease to exist - if these people didnt do the work they have. Running a club of this size takes up a lot of time time that is given willingly and freely. No-one is paid a dime for their efforts. It is done because we love the game and we love this club and the comradeship which accompanies it. Thank you. Thank these peoplebuy them a Tui Steve Carlin - Club Captain Bronwyn Carson Womens Club Captain Tessa Versteeg Club Secretary Michael Roberts Treasurer Rowan Anderson Capital Football Liaison Officer Craig Harris Fixed teams Liaison officer (and match day programme editor) David Abricossow- committee (and legal expert) Phil Bak committee (bar manager and punch-maker extraordinaire) Natasha Naus committee Tim Robinson committee (and proud new dad) Lauren Hakkaart committee Giuliano Serrao committee (and quizmaster) Felix Hallwass - committee Christian Squire - committee Yours in Total football Steve Postie Carlin Club Captain

Cover Photo: Mens 1sts v Gossies (Gossies won 2-1) - (c) Photomac (www.photomac.co.nz)

Mens First Team - Capital 2

Uni Mens Firsts P 18 W 10 D 6 L 2 GF 31 GA 14 Pts 36 Lge Psn 2nd

As I sit and write this I have no idea what mood Im going to be in for Saturdays end of season prize-giving. The First team still have one league game to play tomorrow night (Wednesday), and a possible promotion game the afternoon of the actual prize-giving. So it could either be a massive celebration for the boys or it could be a night of drowning sorrows and thinking about what might have been again.... So, bearing that in mind, Id like to reflect on the season excluding these two vital games. With our South American gaffer, Guillermo Schiltenwolf, in charge for his second year, expectations were high for the senior squad. The core of players had come back, and some great new talent was welcomed into the fold. Couple that with a couple of older, more experienced heads who were back and things were looking very promising for the year ahead. Now it was time to put that potential out on the field. We started exactly as we had hoped, with a couple of strong, confidence boosting wins. And for the most part we were doing it playing a great brand of football. In fact at the end of the first round we had only one loss and two draws against us and the best defensive record in Wellington football. It was as we started the second round that we started to get the speed wobbles... We stayed in the hunt for title right up until the second to last game of the season 5 points adrift of United and playing them on Kelburn. A win would have set up a nail-biter last game. Just when we thought we had that result, they scrambled in a opportunistic chance and we shared the points and they took out top spot. Congratulations to United for that achievement. A season never, ever hinges on just one game, though there were probably a few key moments that really dictated where we are as I write this. As seems to be the case when you need everything to go your way, the Gods conspired against us a little bit and we ended up playing a couple of the weaker sides in the grade on days when they were able to drop players from higher teams and bolster their ranks. Whilst not trying to offer up any excuses, this did result in a couple of draws against opposition we wouldve beaten on a normal game day. In the meantime, our main rivals for the title, Wellington United, somehow kept nicking results. Ill only briefly mention the only other game we lost this year (as I write this anyway). University 1st XI vs. University Gossies. Ill take nothing away from the Gossies for the result, they deserved it but if we knew then what we know now, Id hope that the prospect of having a team back in Capital 1 pushes aside any personal goals. But, as I say, were not where we are now because of this one game. On a more personal note Id like to make a few thankyous to various people for their support and commitment over the season. First of all to our supporters. Without the abuse (constructive and otherwise) from the sidelines every week itd be a long and lonely endeavour. To the committee having done that role for a number of years, I know how difficult it can be and we wouldnt be the biggest senior club in Wellington without the continued effort of a very few individuals behind the scenes.

To the wider squad thanks guys. Weve never been in a stronger position in terms of depth and competition for places. Long may it continue. To Guille Im surprised youve still got a full of head of hair and havent had a coronary. The coach has got his squad playing an excellent brand of football in fact United called us the most technically gifted, and best footballing team in the grade by a long way and that is down to the coaches philosophy and his ability to get the best from his players. And finally to the team it has been an absolute pleasure playing alongside you all, and I can honestly say it has been a long number of years since a University First team has played as well and with as much character as this one. Ive had the easiest job on the field Captaining such a great bunch of lads. Hopefully, by the time you read this, were celebrating being in Capital 1 for 2011, and youve all decided to come back to the mighty Green and Gold to finish off what weve started. Kristian (Krip) Miles First Team Captain

(c) Photomac (www.photomac.co.nz)

Womens First Team Womens 1

P Uni Womens First Team W D L GF GA Lge Psn 5th Cup Psn 1st

Hola! The year started off a bit later than what I would have liked but my first job was to get to know the girls, find out what the fitness level was like and also what positions everyone played. This then gave me a platform for what to work on for the season. We played only two preseason games and we did well, but I knew that we had a lot to work on over the next six months. We always tried to play an attacking style of football and we did very well. Sometimes though we lost crazy games where we should have won but I prefer to lose when were playing an attacking game instead of defending all game when youre up a couple of goals, like a lot of other coaches and teams seem to do. We finished fifth on the table and to be honest I thought we could have done better than this because we played good football. But in football, the results do not always come your way. For a few of the games it was a real nightmare getting a team together due to some of the girls being unavailable because of being on holiday, or being sick or injured. However, we did our best no matter what and Im very happy of that. The highlight of the season would have to be winning the Premier Cup final. We came up against Marist, who had beaten us in both games during the competition round. The team managed to pull off a superb 4 - 2 win which was a great way to finish off the season. Big thanks to my manager Megan (Megs) for her hard work in organising the team each week; to all my players; and of course to my boss, Bronny for giving me the opportunity to coach this great team. I hope that next year we can have a lot more commitment from everyone so that we can do better as a team and a club. It would also be great if we could have a better outdoor training field with lights that light up the field. If NOT, I will have to bring along some candles. I hope to see everyone return next year. Preseason training will kick off earlier than it did this year so we have a strong team right from the start. I might see you next year. Gracias. Pedro Garcias.

Uni Gossies Capital 2

Uni Gossies P 18 W 5 D 6 L 7 GF 27 GA 36 Pts 21 Psn 5th

(c) Photomac (www.photomac.co.nz)

The 2010 season couldn't have started any better! The Gossies won their first four games and found themselves somewhat unexpectedly on top of Capital 2. This streak of positive results reflected the enjoyable, attractive brand of football they played. Through a solid 4-4-1-1 the Gossies were able to move the ball around with fluidity and capitalize on their speed up front. However, all good things must end at some point. A couple of unlucky draws and deserved losses saw the Gossies drop vital points. After 9 rounds - the half way point in the season - the Gossies were a mere two points from first spot, though this gap would only increase with time. Mr Finagle's corollary to Murphy's Law sums it up pretty well: "Anything that can go wrong, will - at the worst possible moment". Through cancellations and injury the Gossies well tuned engine began to stutter. Furthermore, some of the players who had been involved with the team up to that point were called to play for the first team, and very happily obliged. This is a standard situation for a Reserve team, and we were glad to see so many of our boys stepping up to help our first team compete for higher honours. There were a few low points in the season, but the award probably goes to the loss against Tawa A at Kura Park. But let's focus on the positives. Here are, in no particular order, a few of the moments to remember for the years to come: a) Our first victory of the season, 3-2 vs Tawa A, where we scored 3 goals in the first 15'. b) Michael Roberts' goal vs Olympic (straight from a corner kick, that surely made Robo's plays of the week). c) The birth of Tim Robinson's baby girl Evelyn. d) Ma's tackle on the biggest Tawa player who, instead of fighting him, shook his hand! e) Dimitry shouting to an opposition player: "D'you want a tissue?! D'you want a tissue?!". f) Glenn sliding every four seconds in every game he's played! g) Dave Meerman and Kieran splitting their eyebrow and head open respectively vs Marist. Thanks to everyone involved with the Gossies this year, I sure hope to see you all back for pre-season next year. Always remember that wearing the Varsity green and gold is an honour and a pleasure. This is, after all, the best football club in the world. Giuliano Serrao

Uni Scarfies Capital 4

Uni Scarfies P 18 W 8 D 2 L 8 GF 41 GA 42 Pts 26 Psn 4th

Following on from a third place finish in 2009 the Scarfies started off the season great guns with a win over Eastbourne. Unfortunately this very quickly turned to shit and the possibility of promotion in 2010 soon disappeared as old foes LH Ancient Ones and the Petone Armanis dominated the table. Meanwhile the Scarfies struggled to string together results with a number of disappointing results against crap teams (the most memorable being a last minute 5-4 loss to Island Bay HHH). Uncharacteristically the Scarfies at times struggled to put together a team with a number of games having to be played with the bare 11. However, for some reason this seemed to fire up the lads and points were taken home on a number of these occasions. A tight mid table battle summed up the season and we had to wait for the second to last game to be sure of avoiding relegation. On a positive note the highlight of the season for me was the continuation of the Scarfies proud record of being undefeated at Fortress Anderson in over four years. A 4-2 win over Wairarapa gave the boys a much needed mid season boost (despite an injury to Hammer which ruled him out for most of the remainder of the season). As usual the Scarfies had a number outstanding players take to the field. Long time Scarfie Abo and the returning Squire had some great games at the back. Simon Nevau and Ivan Esler worked hard and again were among the best. The addition of Fraser (angry man) Vallely filled a gap up front and he ended up taking out the teams golden boot. Scarfies legend Bakky also put together some extremely useful performances in goal at the business end of the season while I was scoring goal and falling over. Special mention has to go to Mikey who flew back from Melbourne to play four weeks in a row at the beginning of the season, Party Marty who arranged for beers while recuperating overseas following a horrific injury of the toe, and Sam who went beyond the call of duty by making every effort to play despite his family commitments. 2010 also marked the tenth year anniversary of the Scarfies and they have come along way from division 10. I have no doubt that the Scarfies will be back bigger, better and more hung-over to take out Capital 4 in 2011. Woof Rowan Anderson

Womens Second Team Womens 2

P Uni Womens 2 Team
nd

GF

GA

Lge Psn 2nd

Cup Psn

Despite a less than ideal start and finish to the season (yes, there was a 9-0 thrashing in there somewhere), the Womens 2XI had some great games. When we were at full strength, we were a force to be reckoned with. Before the mid-season promotion, we were the only team to beat both Wellington United Goldens and Seatoun, the two teams who were promoted to Division 1. During the second half of the league season we only had two losses. The first loss was to Porirua in atrocious conditions the park resembled more of a pond than a pitch, not to mention a certain player was so hung-over she vomited on the field (more than once, I believe). Our second loss was a close 1-0 defeat to Brooklyn Northern, who eventually won the league. Full-backs Anotina McClean and Rachel Collings made huge improvements over the season, as did first-time keeper Emma Cody. Emma Davison, Hanna Shaw and Wendy Xue were robust centre-backs, and Wendy was also incredible in goal. Perin Wehde and Victoria Barczak were consistent throughout the season, and Alex Payne, Dani Carter and Bernice Breckon had much versatility. Danelle Kaukau provided speed down the wing; Claire Hammond had an excellent finishing touch and was influential when available to play. However, Most Valuable Player goes to Tessa Simpkins, who had skills surpassing most players in the league and who scored goals to rival any mens team. We finished the league second on the table; not bad for a team who didnt train, had a mixture of football experience and a coach who was almost always hung-over. On a serious note, though, thanks to Michael Cowman for giving up his Sundays, and the odd weeknight, to coach us. Also a big thanks to Bernices husband who refereed many of our home games. Ive had a great time getting to know the girls this season and I hope you all return for another (and perhaps more organised) season next year.

University 4ths Capital 7

University 4ths - League - Cup P 14 3 W 9 1 D 2 0 L 3 2 GF 34 5 GA 26 7 Lge Psn 1st -

A few kiwis walk into a bar with a Scot, a Lebanese, an Austrian, an American, an Irishman, a Brazilian, a Chilean and an Englishman The newly-formed University 4th XI (who quickly ditched the peculiar name of Greens) have had potentially the most remarkable season imaginable. One of our players summed it up perfectly in his heavy Teutonic accent; That was beautiful. It was the stuff of dreams, a journey through schoolboy fantasy from a scrappy 1-1 draw on a rough dry pitch, to a championship-clinching 5-1 victory in the mud bath of Anderson Park. At times the football was no less than ballet (without the tights); an intoxicating blend of art, instinct and the occasional effeminate leap. At other times, we were a pack of wolves, ravenous for success in any conditions, but this was usually after a game at the clubbies trying to microwave frozen mince-and-cheese pies. We have suffered horrible injuries (there was a grazed knee at one point), nasty sledging about one of our players weight issues, and potentially the worst pitches outside of northern Pakistanbut such is the indefatigable belief in this team that we never gave up; never stopped believing. A team of heroes that dared to believe

Uni Stallions Capital 7

Uni Stallions League - Cup P 14 3 W 7 2 D 5 0 L 2 1 GF 32 8 GA 21 6 Lge Psn 2nd -

Uni Raiders Capital 7

Uni Raiders - League - Cup P 14 3 W 4 3 D 0 0 L 10 1 GF 23 11 GA 45 7 Lge Psn 7th 2nd

The Raiders had another pretty rumpty time season, finishing 2nd from bottom in Div 7. But, it was an enjoyable season, with a number of highlights: Playing one of our games on the new artificial pitch at Te Whea was a real pleasure. It was great to be able play passing football again, having alternated between being cancelled and playing in quagmire conditions in the preceding weeks. The artificial turfs have a great future. We beat Lower Hutt 4 to 2 mid-season. Lower Hutt were top of the table at that stage and had previously been unbeaten. It was sweet revenge for the Raiders as Lower Hutt had beaten us 9 to 3 in the opening match of the season! We also beat the league winners, the Uni 4th team to balance our ledger with them. We were in top form that day, repelling a number of good attacks from a good team. We emphasised our "giant-killer" ability again in the end-of-season tournament, with a win over Marist Cobras, who had finished runners-up in our division. That match was a real arm wrestle, but the Raiders gutsed-it-out for a deserved win. We're also finishing our season strongly, with three wins in our last three matches. In summary, it was a funny old season for the Raiders. We started slowly and conceded too many goals, but we also improved during the season and (although we finished near the bottom), we proved we were capable of beating any other team in the division. Death Before Masters Grade!

Uni Beavers Capital 10

Uni Beavers - League - Cup P 14 4 W 10 4 D 2 0 L 2 0 GF 51 23 GA 16 5 Lge Psn 1st 1st

In 1958 and 1962 Brazil won consecutive football world cup titles, in 1948 Sir Donald Bradman scored consecutive hundreds in the same test in Melbourne (132,127*), and in 2009 and 2010 the University Beavers won consecutive Capital football titles. Dominant, unforgiving, relentless! Just a few words that can be used to describe the University Beavers meteoric rise through the capital football grades. The 2009 University Football Team of the Year proved to be undaunted by the dizzying heights of the last years successes. The Beaver Green juggernaut kept on rolling in season 2010, with a minor hiccup and a couple of atrocious reffing decisions the only blemishes in what can be described as a near perfect League campaign. Despite a frustrating weather interrupted draw the beavers never lost momentum and were able to put away a number of sides with relative ease. 2010 saw a number of the core group of players from the 2009 squad depart due to University degrees coming to an end. But out of these ashes grew a bigger and stronger Beaver side determined to better their forefathers. New signings Tyler Byers, Zac Beardman, Shaun Clack, Rich Gray, Ian Fraser, Rohan Koremen-Smit, Kevin Ma, Tim Munro and Nick Officer were welcomed into the Beaver fraternity; all providing valuable contributions on and off the field in the quest for football glory. Just as in season 09 the Capital 10 championship was decided in the final round. Rarely does a side pull a rabbit out of the hat in the final round of the league season. But to do it for the second consecutive year to nab a title defies belief; and is something the great David Copperfield would be proud of. But even David himself would admit that luck has nothing to do with walking through the Great Wall of China or moving the Statue of Liberty. It takes skill, pride, devotion and of course... a bit of magic! These same attributes can be aligned to the Beavers achievement.

As mentioned before, a couple of shocking player ref decisions in both fixtures against the Petone Chuggers (Chockers) saw them and not the Beavers sitting at the top of the table with only 90mins of league football to play. With the beavers one point off the pace we needed to win first and foremost, and then needed Petone to draw at best. After another commanding performance against the hapless Karori Rovers (4-1 victory) it was time to settle into the nervous wait for Capital football to update the results page. Lowly Nth Wellington came to the party, holding the Chockers to a 1-1 draw handing the Beavers eternal glory on a plate. The football gods were truly smiling on a Beaver side that deserved the title. Highlights of the season included a number of original Beavers celebrating their 50th caps for the side. Congratulations go to Andre Bishop, Miles Benton, Sam Cameron, Tayne Falconer, Ben Jagersma and Luke Mann for outstanding contributions over the past four Beaver seasons. This core of experienced players who know each others games inside out is a huge advantage against other semi social sides whose player rosters are completely reshuffled every year. Other highlights included a stellar season from rookie beaver Rich Gray; scoring a phenomenal 21 goals in just 14 starts. A truly outstanding effort, but to be honest any beaver from the 2010 squad could be named as they all contributed in one way or another in the drive for the league championship. Glory Glory Mighty Beavers! Bring on season 2011 in Capital 9. They say good things come in threes....

Uni Rangers Capital 11

Uni Rangers - League - Cup P 14 3 W 3 1 D 4 0 L 7 2 GF 26 8 GA 42 15 Lge Psn 5th -

Like all good stories, the tale of Uni Rangers' 2010 season has three parts, a beginning, a middle and an end. In the beginning, things were looking pretty dire for the Rangers. Six losses from our first eight games, including a 10-2 drubbing at the hands of Karori, left us with six points and a great sense of dissatisfaction. As it turned out, those six losses included playing three games against the eventual top two, so all was not lost, and it was about time for a recovery of sorts. In the middle, Rangers began to perform more like we felt we could, without actually managing to deliver the winning blow very often. In the next five games, Rangers pretended they were the All Whites and upset the league with four draws, including 2-2 draws with Karori Stags and, more significantly, the league leaders Olympic. Also present in the run of five games was a 5-1 drubbing dished out to Upper Hutt. In the end, Rangers have unfortunately reverted to our form of the beginning. A loss to Stop Out saw us finish 5th in the regular season, a result we felt we could have bettered but not one with which we can realistically be too disappointed. With two of our three 'Capital 11 Black' games played, we've lost any chance of silverware, losing 6-0 with ten men against Karori Tonners and somehow losing 53 to Upper Hutt. Special mention must go to our Goalkeeper Tom who kept us in many games, to our dominant midfield pairing of Rory and Michael (who between them received the lion's share of Player of the Season votes), and to our Top Goalscorer, Austin Burgess, who made a habit early in the season of ploughing through defences with power and pace.

Uni Unicorns Capital 12

Uni Unicorns - League - Cup P 14 4 W 10 2 D 1 0 L 3 2 GF 50 4 GA 27 20 Lge Psn 2nd 7th

2010 represents the second season for the Unicorns, we were a new team for the club last season debuting in Capital 13 where we finished runners up in both the league & the cup final, our 2nd place earning us promotion to Capital 12. We started this year with only 5 players from the successful 09 season and no recognised keeper and so as a result entered the first game away to Petone a bit nervy, although we were quickly reassured by the sight of the oppositions keeper totally unaware that he was entitled to pick up the ball and with his hands, that exhibition being quickly followed by a few of their throw-ins being taken by the ball being placed on the line and being kicked back into play! That game ending 8 0 in our favour with hat-tricks to Ryan Swanston & Toby Ammundsen who were clearly feeling no sympathy & keen to show what they could do. We unfortunately followed up our excellent start with an 2 - 1 away loss to Lower Hutt, mainly due to some poor judgement from the stand-in keeper who came out late for a ball and was badly beaten by the high bounce, then stood rooted to the spot in horror watching as the ball clipped the post and went in. Toby Amundsen again the man to hit the back of the net for the Unicorns. Next up was an aged Western Suburbs side at home who criminally were giving us the run around for the first half, Some ferocious hairdryer treatment from the Gaffer at half time during which our testicular fortitude was questioned resulted in a superb fight back in the second half, goals from Daniel Lowe, Ben Volz & again Toby Ammundsen wrapped up a satisfying 3 2 win. A 5 2 loss to eventual league & cup winners Karori (whos team coincidentally includes a salty old English striker who was WAY too good for this league) was followed by a hard fought 2 2 draw away to our arch nemeses The Army, (who literally turn up for every match hours early with like 18 players kitted up) the goals in this game coming from our ever reliable strike duo and Unicorns originals Jono Laird & Toby Ammundsen. The lads were clearly now finding their feet and really starting to gel into a team, the hardcore of about 12 regulars bolstered by occasional ring-ins, hanger ons & finally a quality young keeper in Sylvan Hauseler then proceeded to win 8 of the following 9 games, (only losing to Karori and that English dude again, 5 2,) scoring 36 goals & conceding only 14 in the process, most of the magic in the mud coming from the outstanding ginger dribbler Ryan Swanston (he beats people for fun, then turns around and does them again) and the sizzling boots of our strikers, 2009 & 2010 Top scorer Toby Angry Ammundsen & master of the effortless assist Jono Laze-E-Boy Laird. This great run wrapped up 2nd spot in the league comfortably for us, ensuring our goal for the start of the season of back to back promotions, no mean feat im sure you will agree. This impressive run couldnt have been possible without the sturdy presence of our semi regular back 4 and our midfield Marshall Andy Millar whos bite in the tackle & confidence in holding up then dictating the play grew from game to game. Andy also scored my pick for Unicorns goal of the season, think of Ifills recent effort with the outside of his boot but take it back about 15 yards and stick it in the top corner, trust me I was reffing so I had the perfect view! The cup competition followed but was effectively over before it started after a first up 4 1 loss to a completely different Petone side in a game where the luck was just plain against us, and a 9 3 thrashing from Karori (5 or 6 goals from that salty old pom, seriously dude, piss off back to Halifax Town or Grimsby or whichever league 2 side you came from!) We finished with a 1 0 win far far away in Wainui, the goal coming from, you guessed it, Toby wheres my new contract? Ammundsen. Great Season & a great bunch of Lads, bring on Capital 11! Cheers Lads! The Gaffer

Uni Wanderers Capital 13

Uni Wanderers - League - Cup P 14 3 W 5 0 D 1 0 L 8 3 GF 17 1 GA 56 21 Lge Psn 6th -

I was tempted to follow the tried and true methodology of the last years team by not actually submitting a summary of our season. But nevertheless I will weave together for you, dear gathering, a legend of mythic proportions. Once upon a time, in the not so far away sleepy village of Khandallah, the sun lit up the day like a thousand smiles, birds chirped and men laboured as they ran to and fro, while grunting that it was far too early in the season to be running so much. Now you see they were endeavouring to play this delightful game called football. And though not terribly good at it, there was an air of determination and comradeship, displayed from a team of these footballers. This team wasnt just any team however they were a group of colourful and ultimately charming individual people from the University Tribe located in our very own Kelburn. And from this game they took their first of many wins. Now as you all know and so it goes unsaid, but their season has become one of the many great legends to be hailed down the hallowed hallways of the clubrooms of Kelburn Park. With a season of alternating wins and losses we sometimes wondered if a sorcerer malevolent to our cause had cursed us but nevertheless we held through and came out of the league around the top half. With the always dependable John Forsyth of Tawa fame, guarding our goalposts we found that we had unleashed a guardian, who managed to make the most impossible saves a reality, and yet still emit a cheeky grin from that toothless face of his. And to this we name him Champion of the year. Rory Energizer Bunny Garner, who after coming to us from the distant land of the United Tribes of Americus, managed to, through some very skilful play indeed, net the most goals scored by any player in the team, and to this we give him the honour of Tribal Goal Thief. A big hail must go out to the tribesmen that formed this unlikely team of Footballers and the tales should reflect the share honour that we all felt, as we fought off waves on waves of attacks, Saturday after Saturday, side by side.

Uni Brow Capital 13

GF 17 5 GA 28 7 Lge Psn 7th -

Uni Brow - League - Cup

P 13 3

W 3 1

D 2 1

L 8 1

Womens Social Side Womens 3

Uni Womens Social Side P 13 W 1 D 1 L 12 GF 5 GA 51 Lge Psn 7th Cup Psn -

Well quite a season. I think once wed been dropped to a lower grade we had more fun as the games were more even. And its been great this year to have so many new faces join the team, willing to have a laugh. One of our new players, Lydia, was voted player of the year and she did have a great season for us with some fancy tricks we could all admire. To everyone else I want to thank you for putting up with cancelled games and shouting from the keepers (but Im sure Grace will agree with me that some of it was important). We started with sake and we end with ouzo, good effort girls!

Uni Honey Badgers Capital 14

Uni Honey Badgers - League - Cup P 14 2 W 9 1 D 1 0 L 4 1 GF 51 9 GA 37 6 Lge Psn 2nd -

We had an awesome season with many great wins. It was all go right from the start with a huge number of goals being scored up front and solid defence coming up the rear. Our goal keeper Jerome played notably well and provided a steadfast guard from our opponents penetration. He was never afraid of getting down and dirty in the mud, often going home covered. We didn't always finish first but made sure we went home sweaty and satisfied after putting in our best.

Uni Goldenrods Capital 15

Uni Goldenrods - League - Cup P 14 4 W 3 0 D 1 0 L 10 4 GF 27 2 GA 62 20 Lge Psn 6th -

The Goldenrods season is much like one of those depressing, Kafkaesque novels of a mans fight against a soulless bureaucratic nightmare, usually somewhere in Eastern Europe. No matter how hard our hero tries he is defeated by the absurdness of the system, which piles on more and more obstacles, gradually wearing down his sanity. Actually, that sounds exactly what it felt like managing the Rods in 2010. There were a number of heavy defeats that we wont dwell on. The best game though was the fantastic win over Wests at Endeavour that sent shockwaves through the ranks of Capital 15 for a week before we crashed down to a big loss to Olympic at the three-quarter sized mud-hole that is Kaiwharawhara Park. And best of all, despite the bad results we avoided relegation. Ive wracked my mind to discern what exactly the cause of our problems was. For much of the season, our top goalscorer, Rob McKay was off adding to global warming by tripping around the world in search of an answer to...well, global warming leaving a hole in the front of the ole onion bag. It didnt help when Mike Webb was injured in indoor playing against other members of the Rods (no names Marcus, Andy C). The only other thing I could come up with is the large number of Englishmen we had in the team. Yes, the Rods had more Englishmen than most Premier League sides, and it showed in our performance. Perhaps Roy, Arsene and Alex are right in their player selection policies. Just kidding thanks to Marcus, Joe, Adrian, Andy, Andy, and...Andy for the international flavour they bought to the team (if you can call mushy peas and soggy chips flavour). Our recruitment policy for 2011 may have to extend beyond the mother country though. Id like to thank the guys, especially those who accounted for the Rods presence back at the clubrooms most Saturdays. The highlight was of course, winning the first silverware of the year, taking out the clubs Quiz Nite with a fine lead from start-to-finish, that came down to a tie-breaker victory over the Womens Social Team. Other highlights included Andy Crisps fine run in that game that beat at least twenty one other players, Tim McMenamins chance encounter with a nice, calm bald guy from Lower Hutt, and finally some boys born into the next generation of Goldenrods. As Stuart Pearce once said, I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel. 2011, or Year 17 in the Goldenrod calendar could be the one.

Uni Cycles Capital 16

Uni Cycles - League - Cup P 13 3 W 7 1 D 2 1 L 4 1 GF 37 6 GA 24 8 Lge Psn 5th -

Uni Bombers Masters 4

Uni Bombers - League - Cup P 14 4 W 8 2 D 1 2 L 5 0 GF 40 7 GA 30 2 Lge Psn 3rd 1st

Events
2010 was a year where Vic boosted its social calendar, with a number of specific event scattered throughout the year. All were well attended, ran smoothly and big thanks must go to all the people who volunteered to put time in running these nights. It started with the annual Vic Quiz Nite in late April. This was a tight, close-fought affair, won by the Uni Goldenrods in a tie-breaker over Wilson (the womens social side). Special mention must go to Brotherhood, DC Brotherhood Posties side who finished third. They may have finished higher if not for a certain Argentine coach arriving late and missing the one Spanish question of the night. Soon after was the Darts Nite, run by the Womens Firsts on a Friday night up at KP. Congratulations to Graham I found my four dart boards in the garage Essel and Megan Carson who held off all opposition, including a fine performance in the paper dart folding part of the competition.

The first annual Mid-Season Ball was held on Queens Birthday weekend, with the original theme of .... well, Queens Birthday. The night was capped by an appearance by Sarah Ferguson (aka Andy Crisp) who bought a touch of class to the event. Special thanks to Bakky for his punch, the recipe of which is as secret as the Colonels eleven secret herbs and spices...

And then in late July came the X-Box World Cup, where eight teams re-enacted the colour and excitement of South Africa 2010. Apologies go to the Womens Firsts who had the misfortune of having England as their team. Winners were the Uni Rangers who as Italy went Rangers, through the tournament undefeated, winning the final 4-1 against the Gossies Spain.

Club Information
Founded: 1899 Home Ground: Kelburn Park, Wellington Club Captain: Steve Carlin Secretary: Tessa Versteeg Treasurer: Michael Roberts Mens First Team Coach: Guillermo Schiltenwolf Womens First Team Coach: Pedro Garcias Committee Members: Steve Postie Carlin, Tessa Versteeg, Michael Roberts, Bronwyn Carson, Rowan Anderson, David Abricossow, Tim Robinson, Christian Squire, Lauren Hakkaart, Natasha Naus, Craig Harris, Felix Hallwass, Giuliano Serrao, Phil Bak. One man support club: Eddie Leeds Utd Taylor Most fanatical supporter: Harriet

With many thanks to:

Special thanks to Photomac (www.photomac.co.nz) for some of the great photos in this document (especially the great cover shot) and for helping with the team photos