Mental, Emotional & Spiritual Intelligences (IQ, EQ, SQ)

by Bob Gottfried, PhD Emotional Intelligence In 1990 Peter Salovey Ph.D and John Mayer PhD coined the term Emotional Intelligence. Daniel Golemans brilliant book Emotional Intelligence has opened many peoples eyes to the fact that EQ or emotional quotient holds the key to ones happiness and well being, and helped us to realize that our emotional makeup can be so much more important than our mental, or what we refer to as IQ, - intelligent quotient. During my cadence as the president of the International Society of Applied Emotional Intelligence (unfortunately, this organization is no longer in existence) I received thousands of letters from all over the world expressing peoples wish to enhance their EQ for the purpose of becoming happier, more successful, and at the same time more balanced, individuals. IQ is essential for learning and mental development and EQ is much more important for happiness and success. Some time ago a study done in the United States proved that doctors who where impatient and did not exhibit much care towards their patients were more likely to be sued for malpractice, whereas doctors who were caring and attentive to their patients were less likely to be sued even if they made a critical mistake. A woman wrote to me recently telling me about her brother. He was apparently a genius but did not get along with people, quit every job he started, and eventually became a tax driver. These are just a few examples of people with high IQ but low EQ. We have all known people who did not complete college, but who have become very successful in business. We call them street smart. We also know people who, on the whole, are positive, communicative, pleasant and supportive - these people enjoy a high level of EQ. My work in both my private practice and during seminars and workshops focuses on showing people how to increase their EQ. This enables them to accomplish their dreams and desires, rid themselves of negative patterns and shows them that once they master their inner world, their outer world becomes much better. The remarkable thing about EQ is that it can always, at any age, be improved, unlike IQ, which remains more or less fixed in adult life. Applied Emotional Intelligence The reason I talk about Applied Emotional Intelligence is because I am a very practical professional. I believe in principles that can not only be taught to increase knowledge, but also to improve results. I believe that people have a lot of knowledge on what is good and what is important, but ever so often lack the skills of applying this knowledge in their life. I have identified a number of skills that are important to being able to improve your

EQ. The 10 Essential Skills of Applied Emotional Intelligence 1. The ability to identify, understand, and manage your feelings. 2. The ability to motivate yourself to take consistent action towards attaining your ultimate goals. 3. The ability to expand or change your perspective 4. The ability to understand your mental filters (values, beliefs and expectations) 5. The ability to resolve internal and external conflicts 6. The ability to let go 7. The ability to assert yourself 8. The ability to identify and control your fears 9. The ability to cope well with stress 10. The ability to prioritize your activities and use time effectively Working on this list is a lifetime project, and definitely worth the effort. But there is a shortcut, and to understand this shortcut, I have to bring another component into the formula and it is SQ, or spiritual quotient. SQ is more difficult to define because it is based on Spiritual Intelligence, quite an abstract concept. Unlike EQ or IQ, SQ cannot be measured. The main difference between SQ and IQ or EQ is that the last two are in part genetic, and in part learned. IQ has a very strong hereditary component and EQ is mostly learned, while SQ is entirely innate. Spiritual Intelligence has always been there, completely, and it cannot be improved. In fact, it does not have to be measured or improved because it is already perfect! SQ can be easily tapped into and once practiced, it promises a life that is fulfilling regardless of any external conditions. That life will communicate, I am fulfilled now, not later. We cannot develop SQ. We can only enhance our understanding and awareness of it and expand our ability to practice it. 10 Ways to Raise Your Spiritual Intelligence 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. Be kind Smile Forgive Laugh Make it to okay to feel deep feelings Make it to okay to let these feelings go Avoid judging, criticizing, complaining and blaming Let go of the need to be perfect Take a deep breath in, suspend all thoughts and just BE Learn to connect with your inner peace, then share it with others

Once you landed at the spiritual terrain called inner peace, you do not need to have any

rules, rituals or goals. Everything just unfolds the way it is suppose to, one moment at a time perfectly. Just sit down and enjoy the show. Take action when you feel it is important and stay still when it isnt. Deep inner peace, is always there just waiting for you to connect with it. This is the place of connection with other people and all of nature. It is where healing, inner fulfillment, true personal power and freedom come from. Are you there yet? EQ Quiz - What is your EQ? The following quiz is a quick way to point out areas of your personal and interpersonal life that may require more awareness and work. Answer the following statements using the following point system (try to avoid lengthy thinking and use the first answer that comes to mind): Always applies to me=0 Usually applies to me=1 Sometimes applies to me=2 Rarely applies to me=3 Never applies to me=4 1. I don't feel good about the way I look ___ 2. I am told that I am working too much ___ 3. I experience a fair amount of stress in my life ___ 4. I have some habits that I cannot seem to change ___ 5. I tend to be critical of others ___ 6. I get frustrated when things don't go my way ___ 7. I have difficulty letting go ___ 8. I have difficulty controlling my anger ___ 9. I tend to procrastinate when I "don't feel like it" ___ 10. I am not so much in touch with my feelings ___ 11. I have difficulty laughing at myself when I make a mistake ___ 12. I hate making mistakes ___ 13. I tend to compare myself to others ___ 14. I have difficulty relating to others ___ 15. I tend to get moody or depressed ___ 16. I tend to put myself last ___ 17. I have difficulty saying "no" ___ 18. I don't have high self esteem ___ 19. I tend to worry a lot ___ 20. I tend to get anxious at times ___ 21. I tend to be impatient ___ 22. I am not as happy and fulfilled as I would like to be ___ 23. I don't care about other people ___ 24. I don't get along with others ___ 25. I feel rushed ___ My Total Score Is: ___

Results: 0 - 30 Very low EQ 31 -55 Low EQ 56-74 Medium EQ 75 -89 High EQ 90-100 Very high EQ Since our perception of ourselves often differs from how others perceive us it could prove very beneficial to allow a good friend that you fully trust to fill out the EQ Quiz for you and then compare it with the one that you have completed. This can indicate to you how aware you are of yourself. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------The above is an excerpt from the book: Shortcut to Spirituality: Mastering the art of Inner Peace by Bob Gottfried, PhD This is a book about how to more completely manifest our Spiritual Intelligence. Although we all have it, sometimes we may have difficulties in fully connecting with it. Shortcut to Spirituality will help build a bridge from our complex and busy psychology to the territory of spirituality, which is always peaceful. More than just a book, Shortcut to Spirituality is a manual that will not only point to what needs to happen, but more importantly: how to make it happen. For more information about the book go to: www.ShortcutToSpirituality.com To order the book: www.deeperdimension.com/bookorder.htm All rights reserved. It is not allowed to copy or distribute any part of this article without a written consent from the publisher.