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Stubborn anger issue falls to 0 with emphatic "say what you feel" wording.

"Even though that asshole, 20 years ago, told me...". Bingo!

Releasing anger patterns with EFT

First you need to start with how you feel in yourself about the anger. Start and continue tapping on the EFT points while saying the phrases: Karate Chop: I was so angry that I can't accept myself. I'm disappointed in myself. I should be better than this. They didn't deserve to be the brunt of my anger. I feel so ugly and ashamed at what I did. I don't know if I will ever be able to change this. I feel like I have no control over my anger. I don't know if I can ever accept myself when I can get so angry. Top of Head: This anger feels more powerful than me. Eyebrow: I don't feel like I can control it. Side of Eye: Part of me likes the feeling of power that comes with the anger. Under Eye: Part of me is so ashamed. Under Nose: I can't really accept myself when I can get this angry. Chin Point: I remember the look on their faces when I was angry. Collarbone: The fear in their faces, I don't want them to be afraid of me. Under Arm: I'm so afraid that the damage done can't be undone. I don't know if I deserve to be free of this guilt. Wrist Points: I don't believe anyone can really love me when I have this anger within me; I can't really love myself when I know it's there. Continue to tap for a few rounds to cover everything you feel and say about and to yourself about how you behaved. Now we will use EFT to work on the pattern around the anger. Karate Chop: Even though it feels like I have no control over my anger, I choose to notice the way it develops. I have a pattern of anger than can be changed. Even though I have a habit of being angry, I choose to bring to my conscious mind the way my anger develops, so that I can heal it. Top of Head: What is the first thing that happens in my body when I'm starting to feel angry? Eyebrows: What do I say to myself that tells me I'm getting angry? Side of Eye: Where in my body do I notice the fire of my anger building? Under Eye: There are a number of steps to my anger and I choose to pay attention and notice them. Under Nose: What is the very first thing that happens that tells me I'm getting angry. Chin Point: I give myself permission to stop a conversation when I notice the first indicators of anger so that I can do some EFT and deal with the feeling. Collarbone: As I notice my anger pattern, I gain power over it.

Under Arm: There are a number of things that occur before my anger bursts out, and I choose to notice each of them. Wrist Points: This pattern has been unconscious until now but I'm making it conscious so that I can change it. Noticing how your anger builds helps unravel the mystery of full blown explosions that nobody sees coming. You then have the ability to notice what is triggering your anger and clear those individual triggers. Maybe it's a tone of voice or a look you receive which starts to get you angry. So do some tapping on the trigger. Karate Chop: I felt put down by their sarcastic tone of voice. I felt put down and disrespected by their tone of voice. It reminds me of being talked down to as a child. I don't want to be talked to like that because I'm now an adult. Top of Head: Feeling talked down to like a child. Eyebrow: Feeling disrespected. Side of Eye: That tone of voice that gets me angry. Under Eye: I want to release all reference events for this trigger. Under Nose: I'm clearing this trigger for my anger. Chin Point: That tone of voice that still gets me angry. Collarbone: I won't let anyone talk to me that way. Under Arm: I want to stand up for myself without having to get angry. I am an adult who can express myself. Wrist Points: As I clear this trigger, I am beginning to accept myself even more. There may be more than one trigger to your anger so continue to tap on each trigger that contributes to your anger pattern. You may still have shame, guilt, and regret about what happened so here is a final round to do some more clearing. Karate Chop: Even though I'm still ashamed at getting so angry, I'm beginning to accept myself. Even though I regret what I did and wish that I could go back and change things, I'm open to accepting myself and the mistakes I made as part of being human. I'm doing my best to improve my behaviour, identifying patterns of anger, and clearing the triggers. Top of Head: Remaining shame for what happened. Eyebrows: Remaining regret for how I said what I did. Side of Eye: Remaining sadness at the hurt I caused. Under Eye: Remaining shame, regret, and sadness. Under Nose: I choose to notice my anger patterns and diffuse them as soon as I do. Chin Point: I choose to be forgiving of myself as I do my best to change my behaviour. Collarbone: I'm glad I know how to tap so that I can clear my anger patterns. Under Arm: I'm learning to access the power within my anger and express it in constructive ways. Wrist Points: I'm noticing and celebrating even the smallest of improvements in my behaviour and I'm becoming even more loving and accepting of myself.

We cannot deny our emotions as they are part of what makes us human but we can change the patterns, triggers and ways that we express them. Rod Sherwin

EFT resolves long term resentment

We sat face to face with the audience to our side. He reported that on a scale of 0-10 his emotional intensity was a thousand. We started with the sore spot ("I want to be completely free of this resentment") followed by the set up statements "Even though I have this resentment.... I deeply and completely accept myself...I love and forgive myself...I choose to let it go".

The client who continually felt resentful

We focused in on one particular situation where Shirley lived with her aunt and uncle and her cousins. Shirley felt great resentment toward her cousins because they didnt have to do anything to be loved and no matter how hard she tried to be good and fit in, Shirley didnt get the same kind of love and acceptance. She always felt she had to try to be perfect just to not be kicked out. Here are some of our setup phrases: Even though I felt all this resentment Even though I resented my cousins and felt left out, I accept myself and my feelings. Even though I had all this resentment, I accept all of me. We used the following tapping reminder phrases: This resentment They got all the love No matter what I did they didnt love me like that I resented my cousins I tried so hard to be good I felt unwanted I felt in the way All this resentment I tried so hard to fit in. Shirleys intensity level moved from a 9 on a scale of 0 to 10, where it started, down to a 7, 5, 2 and then 0 out of 10. She reported feeling like the bottom fell out and some space opened up. There were many, many of these living situations for Shirley during her childhood and we worked through some very specific scenes from a few of them, getting them down to 0 out of 10. There were so many different living situations with so many different parties involved, I asked Shirley to just name all the different people shed felt resentment toward as a child: half-sister, little brothers, step-sisters, step-brothers, cousins. Here are some of our setup phrases: Even though I felt resentment toward all these kids Even though I felt all this resentment toward these kids from my childhood, I love and forgive myself. Even though I felt resentment as a child, I was just trying to feel safe, and I love and forgive myself. Tapping reminder phrases: Note how I start with the basic resentment and then lead into what she really wanted as a child: This resentment All this resentment Resenting my half-sister Resenting my little brothers My step sisters My cousins My step brothers Trying to be good If I did anything wrong, theyd send me away to someone else Always trying so hard Always being careful in everything I did Wanting to feel secure Wanting a family of my own

When I asked Shirley for her intensity level after several rounds of tapping, Shirley said her resentment toward all those children from her past had really lightened up. I suggested that, just like her, they were only children and it was really the adults in the situation who were giving more love and attention to their own children than to her. This is sad, but probably human nature. This was a real aha for her; shed always blamed the children and never the adults. Even though Ive felt all this resentment, I love and accept myself and all my feelings. Even though Ive resented these kids from my past, I forgive myself and them, we were just being kids doing the best we could. Even though Ive had all this resentment for so long, I love and forgive myself and these kids and choose to drop these resentments. We used appropriate reminder phrases alternating resentment phrases and forgiveness phrases. After this Shirleys intensity was down to 0 regarding childhood resentments. Before we closed our session, I wanted to come back to present day and the resentment she feels when she does something she wants to do for her step-grandchildren. It seemed that Shirley felt that she didnt really belong to this family because shes not a blood relative (just like it was for her as a child). I suspected she kept trying hard, wanting and needing to be liked and included. I suggested we do a few reversals: Even though it isnt safe for me to let go of trying so hard Even though I dont deserve to let go of all this efforting Even though for whatever reason I might need to keep trying really really hard Even though Im not perfect, I love and accept who I am. Even though Im not a blood relative, they love me anyway (she had said this was true), and I love myself. Even though Im not perfect, I accept all of me and appreciate how Ive been handling my life. Tapping reminder phrases: Im imperfect Im just human I make mistakes Just like everyone else Its OK to be imperfect They like me anyway Theyre imperfect and I love them Im not a blood relative So what? Lots of people hate their relatives (laughter) Im imperfect and I love myself Im a lovable imperfect human being Three weeks later Shirley reported that she no longer felt her resentment. She said she was even surprised that in situations where she expects the feeling to arise, she sits there and waits for it, and it just doesnt come! She said this, A whole pipeline of creativity has opened up that used to be filled with resentments. It feels great.

EFT alleviates horrendous self-hatred and rage

Even though I feel worthless and want to retreat... Even though I never think of myself and I leave myself out, I acknowledge this about myself. He began to cry really hard, and I tapped on him, suggesting that he just stay with what was happening. I repeated similar phrases (above) and, when he could, in between crying, he repeated them. I added, "maybe I don't need to keep leaving myself out; maybe I can think of myself."

After a short time, the crying calmed and he looked much softer. He said that he felt much lighter and that the above were completely new ideas to him. A few days later, Samuel came for a second session. He said that since our first session he continued to feel increasingly lighter and that, interestingly, a problem he'd had since he was in a car accident 1-1/2 years ago had gotten better, too. He had been hit in the head with a metal object that flew forwards from the back seat of the car and since then, he had had trouble forming words and sentences. He noted that since our last session, his head was clearer and his sentences were clearer. And when his wife called him one day to see how he was doing, he told her "I feel good." As far back as he could recall, he had never felt good nor told anyone he was feeling good-even after being in therapy for around 35 years. He also said that he understands his mother was very sick and that he feels mostly pity for her. This was very different from the hatred and disgust he was expressing in the first session. In this second session, we worked through one of the most horrible events of his childhood, which he had related with great negative intensity during the first session. We gave the event a name-"Belt"-and started with the Tearless Trauma Technique which started at a level of intensity of 10 on a scale of 0 to 10. Even though I have this "Belt" memory. After one or two rounds, he said he felt like he was floating above the experience, and that he had more perspective. He was looking down on it instead of being in it. Now he guessed that the intensity would be a 1 or so if he went into details of the incident. Then I asked him for emotions surrounding the event. He said he was angry at his sister, at a 10 out of 10 level of intensity. Even though I'm angry at my sister for _______, I send my young self compassion. Even though I'm angry at my sister for _______, I forgive myself for whatever I contributed to this "Belt" event and, so that I can get some release and relief, I forgive my sister for what she did to contribute to it. I understand she may have just been trying to survive in her own way. After this, intensity was already at 1 or 2 out of 10. He realized that what was left in intensity was because this memory was being fused together with all the other painful things that had happened while they lived in a specific house. Even though I still have some of this anger toward my sister, and this memory is fusing together with all the other ones in that house, I choose to separate this memory out from all the others, I send my young self compassion and love, and I give myself permission to let heal from this memory. This brought the anger toward his sister to a 0. Then I asked him about anger toward his mother. This had already gone to a 1 or 2, without directly working on it. Then we started on the actual abusive actions that his mother perpetrated on him (I'm not saying what they are, to protect readers from vicariously having to experience them). Again the intensity for the pain was 10 out of 10. Even though I remember how much it hurt and how anything I said was ignored... Even though I felt so helpless because nothing I said stopped it, I send compassion to my young self and let him know I love him. I forgive myself for anything I did to contribute to this _______ and I forgive my mother. She was ill and had a lot of pain in herself. She was probably doing the best she could, given her background and life-experiences. Her best wasn't good at all, but it was the best she could do. He agreed with all of this. He said that the thinking and feeling part of him, which had been disconnected, now felt connected. Intensity was very low, 1 or 2. He realized that his mother probably needed more love in her life, and felt understanding, pity and compassion for her. And for himself.

Now he was thinking that it was amazing that he had survived so long without harming others, and, that it was just "unfortunate" to have gone through what she did to him. He said this feeling had no charge at all. We went to another part of the memory that had been very intense when he told it in the first session. He felt "neutral" about it. Then I had him tell the whole story out loud again in detail, and he stayed at a 0 intensity about it. He told me that, in the many years he had been in therapy, nothing had really changed for him. And in two sessions, he felt completely different. He also said he had never felt any forgiveness toward his mother, and he had certainly never expressed forgiveness toward her to anyone. But now he totally felt it. He felt totally calm about the above incident, and released from the pain.

EFT for self righteous anger

I recently had the most amazing experience with EFT. I've had anger issues all my life, as well as what I call the "I'm perfect - you're the one who needs to change" syndrome. They both came up the other day in a close relationship. I was very angry with this person's unreasonable expectations and tendency to react immediately with anger to many ordinary things. This was a very everyday issue, and I don't know of a single other person who would have reacted with anger at it. I felt myself dig in my heels and refuse to consider feeling anything else but frustration and anger. When I know I'm in the right and being treated unfairly, it's hard (okay, nearly impossible) for me to pull myself out of that why should I have to put up with this brand of self-righteousness. It feels so justified. But I also know that it's keeping me from being the person I truly want to be, so the next day I decided to work on it with EFT. Even though I'm completely resistant to change Reminder Phrases: completely resistant to change don't want to change why should I have to change? As I was tapping, it occurred to me, and not for the first time, that the reason I'm resistant to change is that I always have to be right. Change implies that there was something wrong with me or my thinking. I've worked on this before with EFT, but couldn't hone in on the core issue. Nevertheless, I decided to give it another go. Even though I always have to be right Reminder Phrases: I always feel like I have to be right I always have to be right I'm always right. Then, all of a sudden, I changed my phrasing to: Stop telling me I'm wrong! I'm not wrong! Stop! Stop! Stop! A picture came into my head of me with my hands held over my ears and my eyes squeezed tightly shut, hunched against some verbal outburst of long ago. I finished that shortcut round with less emotional but similar phrases. During the next emphatic round, I felt a shift and the words I'm not wrong, but I know you don't understand that, came into my head. Then: I'm not wrong, and you're not wrong I finished tapping with: I'm not wrong and you're not wrong; we're just people. I felt tired and resigned, but in a relieved sort of way. I tried to remember what the issue had been and dredged it up, but couldn't keep my mind on it. I tried to revive related issues, but couldn't get interested. In the week or so after this tapping session, I didnt feel that old self-righteous anger even once. I am finally free of an emotion and belief that have held me captive and hindered growth for 50 years!

EFT for deep seated anger

ve been following this newsletter for years now, and am so thankful to you and to everyone who has written in with great suggestions and ideas. This morning, I thought I would take my turn. I have been using EFT on myself and with clients for several years, and find it breathtakingly effective - but never more so than recently. Generally, I consider myself a pretty grounded, solid person. I am in a situation which is tweaking one of my oldest, deepest, angriest buttons. It's one of those times when the anger I am feeling is so out of proportion to the current event that there is NO question that I'm bringing up ancient stuff - stuff which I know has deeply impacted me all my life. Without EFT, I have no doubt that I'd either be swirling in anger, unable to move through it and let it go - or, as is more my pattern, slipping into depression because of suppressing the anger. Instead, every time in the past three days that the anger has surfaced, I have stepped right into it, and tapped my way through it. When I started to hear those angry thoughts, and noticed even the tiniest bit of anger in my body, I have stopped what I am doing, sat in a chair and tapped to make the emotion stronger, going right into it to pull it out by its roots. Happily, I have been able to be in a private setting where I could let it all out. The issue is that a person at a distance, whose house I am caretaking, is exerting control over my living situation in a way that is taking me right back to childhood issues of feeling discounted and controlled. The limiting belief that I ended up with was that what I want doesn't matter. So - the fact that I was in this situation of being discounted and controlled opened up the big one. I began with this setup: Even though I am so angry at Dorothy for trying to control me in this situation Even though Dorothy is asking me to live in a way that makes this not feel like my home Even though Dorothy is trying to push her way of living over on me, and I want to live in the exact opposite way I have gotten very comfortable with following whatever language comes up in the moment, so I watched my words with interest as the problem morphed quickly from "This is not what we agreed to" through "You can't tell me what to do," into a series of unprintable comments, and finally came out on the other side as "You can't control me." By far, most of the time was spent on my top of the head point, and at times, on that point, I recognized that I had completely stopped breathing and my body was completely rigid. It was interesting to note that the intensity dropped when I moved to other points, but returned to a peak when I got back to my head. By tapping into it, I immersed myself for the time it took - which I am happy to report was only about five or ten minutes at any single sitting - in the biggest, boldest, scream-outloud strongest anger I've ever felt. Eventually, of course, I came each time to that deep sigh which comes with the release of emotion, and collapsed into the chair. EDITORIAL COMMENT: EFT can often be done more gently where the screaming rage may not be necessary. Our Tearless Trauma Techniqueis one method for doing this. Also, EFT using on the original (usually childhood) specific events underlying the anger is often an efficient and longer lasting option. When the anger first surfaced, it came in at a 10 on a scale of 0 to 10, like a ton of bricks. The highest possible rating I can imagine. I tapped until it was a zero. Subsequent times, I tapped whenever the feeling arose - which was usually at least a 7 or 8 out of 10. This was a deeply rooted problem. Each time I tapped, I took it to a zero. Today, I am happy to report that it is remaining at zero. I did basic, shortcut EFT.

It's been physically exhausting in the moment, and exhilarating overall, as I have truly felt the release of this old, old anger.

Resentments relieved 22 years after a poor birthing experience

Connie found out she was NOT over it! And had an intensity of 10! Even though the bleeping doctor discounted my intuition about the baby's due date Even though I'm angry at that bleeping doctor for insisting he knew better than I did when I had gotten pregnant Even though I had to be nice and submissive because he was in authority Even though I would like to swak him one for being so insensitive and not believing me Even though he said it was impossible to know when I had gotten pregnant, and I did know We did several rounds of tapping until her intensity dropped to 0 on a scale of 0 to 10. Connie had a very happy, uneventful pregnancy. She was blissful and could remember thinking that pregnancy was the best state ever. Her doctor kept insisting on the "official" due date, and she kept insisting that it would really be two weeks later, because she really did know when she had gotten pregnant. So it was a terrible surprise when her doctor called one evening and told her he was leaving on vacation three days later. In his mind, she was overdue, and he had scheduled his vacations because none of his patients had delivery dates for the next two weeks. If she didn't have the baby in the next three days, she would have to look for another doctor to deliver her. Even if I was frozen and couldn't process what he was saying. Even if I still can't believe he would do that to me. Even if I was scared out of my wits. She went into labor right then and there, and her husband called the doctor back to let him know. Even though I started having contractions out of fear Even though I was terrified of the doctor's leaving on vacation and having to find a new doctor Even though I was afraid of doing it all on my own The doctor said to call him again when contractions were 2 minutes apart; but her contractions stayed erratic. Even though I had erratic contractions and was scared of the doctor's going on vacation Even though I felt I had to be "good" and have this baby so he (the doctor) wouldn't abandon me After 24 hours of irregular contractions and no dilation, the doctor suggested inducing labor. Even though I knew I had to birth this baby before the doctor left, and time was running out Even though I wanted a home birth and was being sent to the hospital for an induction

Connie remembers walking up and down the corridor with the IV, and still no dilation. She was then told that her baby was having fetal distress and she needed a caesarean. Even though I was afraid my baby would die because of the fetal distress Even though I was scared in the operating room Even though I was angry because they tied my hands down and I couldn't move them Even though I felt betrayed by my body because it hadn't dilated Even though I felt inadequate as a woman, because I couldn't birth my baby normally And then, the baby was born; they untied her hands and let her hold him and see that he was beautiful and perfect! Even though I didn't have a homebirth, I was so happy to have a healthy, normal baby Connie told me she felt like a weight had lifted from her shoulders. She had avoided talking about the subject of her son's birth, or would make jokes. We can't change what happened; she told me that a year later the doctor had apologized and had acknowledged that many women do truly know when they got pregnant. He now pays more attention to what women tell him. She could talk about the doctor with no emotional intensity. Thanks Gary,

Getting behind a successful EFT anger case

I had a series of three clients recently where tapping on their anger didn't initially help much at all. In each case, the offense was a bad one that happened a very long time ago. There was nothing to be done or even said to the offending person, and in one case the person was dead. Each of these clients were aware that the offending person was not being affected at all by their anger and that they were the only ones suffering. However, tapping was not relieving their anger. When this happened with the first client, we were initially stuck for a while, but then I had a flash of intuition. I asked my client whether she felt that letting go of her anger would mean that the other person would somehow "get away with" what he did? A light bulb went off and she strongly agreed. It came out that she subconsciously felt that her anger was, in a cosmic justice sort of way, keeping the other person "accountable" for what he did. She was afraid that if she let go of her anger, it would mean that it "didn't matter" what he did to her and he would "get away with it" without any consequences. The dilemma was that the only person actually being affected by her anger was her, but letting go of her anger felt like it would be to his benefit. So, we tapped on: Even though he'll get away with what he did without my anger... Even though he won't be accountable without my anger... Even though it won't matter what he did to me without my anger... Later in the tapping we included affirming phrases like, I release him to the Universe He is subject to his own karma I choose peace for myself

After a several rounds of this kind of tapping, my client's anger was gone, and she felt great relief and peace around the issue. After encountering this same situation with the next two clients in a row, I felt that this insight might be helpful to others. So, if you find yourself having a hard time relieving your anger through tapping, look deeper within to see if issues of "cosmic justice" are getting in your way.

Surrogate EFT for fighting neighbors

My neighbors, a mid-60's woman and her 30-something son - fight tooth and nail. Luckily it only happens about once a month. The cops always come and it's loud and interrupts my day or night. One time he threw a TV at her. Not nice. Yesterday they went at it again, and I decided I'd had it with them. So I walked over next to the fence near where they stood out in the echoing garage - for everyone to hear, of course - and listened to what they were fighting about. She was demanding he pay his rent share, and he was threatening to kill himself (again). Then I tapped on myself. First, I took the son's part, as he's the most violent and volatile. Even though I'm so p------d off I feel like such a fool to be so old living with my mom I have such a crummy job I hate my job I hate myself I hate the power she has over me How dare she ask me for rent I can hardly get by as it is I'm so afraid she'll kick me out I won't be able to make it It's all her fault for raising me like she did I hate myself for yelling at her I feel so helpless I can't help any of this I wish I could die. She'll see! She'll miss me and then wish she hadn't been so hard on me! I hate this! I'm so powerless. As soon as I got to "I'm powerless," I felt a huge breath-yawn, and he stopped yelling. But she was still at it, so I started again, taking her part while tapping Even though I don't want him here anymore He's too old to live at home anymore

But I feel sorry for him He can't make it I don't believe he can I hate how he yells at me I feel so scared of him He might kill me Or himself He gave his father a heart attack when he threw that TV at me I don't want to go like that, too I hate how we fight I don't know what else to do He gets on my nerves I wish he'd go live with his girlfriend I can't kick him out I feel so stuck! She was no longer yelling when I got to that last phrase. Now they were both just talking, but still with escalated emotion. I kept tapping - this time for both of them: Even though We have just fought It felt awful I really don't want to fight I just don't know how to get my way without it I wish there was another way I choose to find another way I don't want to fight anymore I want both of us to win I want to be happy and at peace with each other Again, I took a deep breath. Now the son was getting in his car and driving off. Mind you, in the past, these fights have gone on from one to three hours of screaming and cussing and crashing. And at the end, he'd always drive (blast) off. But this time, they only fought for maybe twenty minutes, and he drove off, but he didn't SLAM his car door shut, jam the garage door as he has in the past, or squeal away leaving 50-foot skid marks on the pavement. What a relief! I can't even imagine why I never thought of tapping for them before! aloha Angela Treat Lyon

Follow up

So many people wrote me asking how I did the surrogate tapping for my neighbor that I want to give a bit more detail. When I tap "off the cuff," which is what I did that day - no official session or anyone with whom to consciously work - I am pretty ad lib. It's my intention that counts here, not any "correct" ritual of point-by-point EFT. I start with my karate chop point, but eventually I'm just running through the points with one phrase per point. Sometimes I do it mentally, because I don't want whoever it is to know I'm doing it - s/he could be close by, not "believe" in EFT, not want any interference out of pride or shame, not be able to tap himself - whatever, it doesn't matter. I was asked about free will and interfering with a person's destiny or ability to make choices. One of the things that struck me most powerfully when I first studied Gary's manual was his argument for tapping for others. He talks about how we constantly think badly about and send ugly thoughts towards people without asking their permission - why should we ask them if it's OK to send them "good" thoughts and wishes? After years of doing healing work, staunchly advocating "free will rights," I gave it up on the spot! Just seemed absurd. As Gary also says, if the person for whom we are tapping and wishing well has an intention or higher-being need to resist or not accept our ministrations, nothing we do will get the energy through anyway! I believe that none of us is a victim. We all, at our core's deepest level, know exactly what we need and want, and our energy system absorbs, deflects or reflects that quite elegantly. I believe that we all wish, at that most core level, to be well and to thrive. We only resist healing out of twisted beliefs and judgements that do us more harm than if we said yes to another's wishes to help us. I say tap away on others, both with them and away from them. The one caveat would be to have no set agenda other than real concern and love for the other, no matter what the outcome. Who are we to know what result is best for another? All we can do is unselfishly wish the best for them - whatever that is and looks like. Trust the Universe/God/Mystery to Know. We can tap for parents, kids, aunts and uncles, grandparents, ancestors, friends, foes, bosses and co-workers - if you can think of someone, you can tap for him. It doesn't matter one whit if he is in the same room or halfway across the universe in Betelgeuse. Our intention is incredibly powerful. In the ancient Hawaiian healing art called Hooponopono, we say these three phrases for whoever we want to help, no matter where they are: "I'm sorry (that there is hurtful energy in the space)," "I love you (real intent for love in the space)," and "thank you (gratitude for the opportunity to help, love and create more love)." Tap using those three phrases, as you intentionally send health and love to people. Even if you don't see viable results in them, your own results from borrowing benefits can be great! We truly are One! I hope this helps. aloha Angela Treat Lyon

EFT for workplace anger

wanted to share this remarkable story of the first time that I have ever used EFT on someone other than myself. For background, I am a management consultant, specialising in leadership development. I work with large organisations to improve their performance in leadership and management. Recently I met with a client who is a marketing executive, to help him to do some work on assertiveness. This client (I shall call him "Jim") is a very confident, capable young man, who has made excellent progress in his career since starting work 2 years ago, and is already a very valued member of his organisation. He confidently presents to large groups, and negotiates with industry leaders, big businesses and politicians all over Europe. This made me uncertain as to why he needed assertiveness coaching, however I always remain openminded, and I work with my clients to enable them to achieve their full potential. When we started, Jim told me that his real issue was just with one particular colleague, who he said was mean to him, undermined him, put him down at every opportunity and was generally making his life difficult. We worked for an hour on different techniques to help Jim to re-build his damaged relationship with his colleague (I shall call her Diana). It soon became clear that Jim's perception of Diana's behaviour towards him had become completely distorted by anger. When I tried a technique in which a client visualises the other person, Jim couldn't even call her image to mind, and seemed unable to describe what she looks like. He said "I don't even want to picture her. All I can see is a brick wall of my anger towards her". Other comments he made included "I'm angry that she even exists!", and later he said "I'm angry with her because one time when she was especially mean to me was the same week she got diagnosed with cancer. She took it out on me just to be vindictive." I realised that Jim's thinking was completely distorted by the anger that he was feeling, and that we had to clear the anger in order for him to see the situation more rationally. Although I had never used EFT with a client before, intuitively I felt that it would be a good time to start. I tentatively introduced EFT, likening it to acupuncture which Jim is comfortable with. He said he didn't think it would help, but he'd give it a go. I got the feeling that he was just humouring me. Before we started, I asked him to rank his anger on a scale of 0-10, and he replied "It's not even on that scale, it's through the roof". I had already made a list of statements based on Jim's comments so far, and showed them to him to invite him to choose his own set-up statement. These included: Even though I am really angry at her... Even though I'm so angry I can't see past this brick wall... Even though I can't think of the words to say to stand up to her... Even though I hate the tone of her voice... Even though I feel put down when she corrects me in public... Even though she called me a stupid little boy... Even though I feel angry when I think about her... Jim was only willing to use the last of these, and he didn't want to say "deeply and completely accept myself", so I asked him to choose an affirmation that he felt comfortable with. He finished up with:

Even though I feel angry when I think about her, I completely believe in myself. We started with the karate chop point, and he repeated the set up three times, then ran through the other face points, collar bone and finger points twice. He didn't want to use the top of the head or underarm points as he said they were "stupid". Jim was laughing all the way through, and several times said "This is so stupid". After two rounds, my own confidence was taking a knock, so I thought I'd check where he was at before continuing. I was ready to ditch the EFT and go back to what I felt comfortable with. I asked Jim to stop, and he laughed again, although I noticed that his laughter had a different quality - before it was scorn or derision, and now it sounded genuinely mirthful. I asked him on a scale of 0-10 where his anger was. He replied "It's not even on that scale". At first I thought he was repeating his original answer (when he told me "It's through the roof") so I checked, "Where is the anger now?", and a surprised look came on his face as he said "I don't know. It's just gone!". I stopped there, because he was able to address the rest of the coaching session with a completely different perspective, and we were able to make major shifts in his relationship with Diana. At the end of the session I checked again how he now felt when he thought about Diana, and he reported emotions such as respect and compassion. At last he was able to work on constructive and practical actions for rebuilding his damaged relationship with his colleague - what a breakthrough! I checked in with him again weeks later and Jim reports that his telephone calls and meetings with Diana all have a different, more constructive quality now. He's even quite looking forward to a 3-day overseas business trip with her in the New Year, which in the past he would be dreading. In thinking about what really worked here, two things stand out for me. First, listening to my intuition, both when it told me to introduce EFT and when it told me to stop. Second, I think that the first hour of coaching really helped us to find the core issue and work with it very quickly, so when Jim selected his set-up statement it was probably the right one. If I had introduced EFT earlier, we may have spent a long time working on statements about assertiveness, when the underlying issue was his anger. EDITORIAL COMMENT: Another way to go about this that is often more permanent is to ask Jim who Diana reminded him of. Chances are this will take you to a more foundational specific event. Thank you so much for this excellent technique. Madeleine

Even dropping the kids off at school provides tapping opportunities - an anger issue
"I'm riding my bike to work this morning." my husband tells me at 7:45 am. "I will need to leave by 8:15 am." he continues. "OK." I say, as I realize what this means. I will be the one dropping the kids off at school. Feeling time pressured now, I rush off, running a little behind schedule. We get to the front of the school, and I sigh with relief, thinking we made it on time. But the line of cars going into the school drop off, just sits, bumper to bumper. "What is the problem?" I wonder, a little panicked. I see lots of space inside the courtyard for cars to move up. "Oh, it's that white car, two cars in front of me. It's taking its sweet time, and holding everybody else up! But it's OK," I say trying to reassure myself, "I can wait patiently." "Woo Hoo! Now, we're moving!" But, this joy only lasts two whole seconds. I'm stuck again! "What is this car in front of me doing?" He stops, exactly where the white car stopped, to let his kids off!! I can't believe it! I am pissed! I honk and back up a little, to go around him. I

then pull up as far as I can on the curve, so others can also pull in behind me, to drop their kids off. The bell rings as my kids close the car doors behind them. We made it! Now that I'm not under time pressure, I take notice of how angry I'm still feeling. "Where did all this anger come from?" I ask myself. I definitely don't like feeling this way, and this tells me, it is an "EFT tapping moment". So, I give the intensity of what I'm feeling a rating of 8 out of 10 and I begin tapping the KC point while focusing on the problem and say, Even though I'm really angry that this person was so thoughtless... Even though I'm really angry that this person only thinks about himself and not me... I pause, and as my emotion is reduced, I get an insight, "Oh, I'm taking this personally, and that's why I'm so angry. I'm feeling like this guy intentionally wanted to block me." I resume tapping on the head and do one round of the short version of EFT saying, "This feels like it's personal, but the driver doesn't even know me." I stop to evaluate how I'm feeling. I feel much better, a 3 out of the 8. So, I start another round of tapping, Even though this driver doesn't consider the needs and goals of the rest of the people behind him... Even though we are all trying to get our kids to school on time and this driver doesn't recognize this... Even though the school has rules to help make this morning rush smoother, and this driver was not following the rules... I continue to the top of the head, "This remaining anger", face points, "this remaining anger?" I finish the round of tapping, feeling pretty good, with no anger left. As I look at my behavior from that morning, I have to admit that I was afraid my kids were going to be late to school. I assumed that the guy that blocked me had bad intentions, and therefore got angry. I could have gone through the day angry at this guy, who was an obstacle to my life, blaming him for my bad mood. But in fact, upon reflection, I can see he was where he was for this very important purpose: to give me insight into where I need to heal and grow. So, I am thanking this stranger, who had an effect on me and helped me to know myself better. I come back to my tapping moment, tapping on the KC point as I say, Even though, I was angry at this guy, I forgive myself for judging him and I am grateful that he showed up in my life. Even though, what appeared as a stressful situation, in reality was just an opportunity for gaining deep insight into my sense of self and into life... I am grateful for this experience I am thankful that I can use EFT to help me take any negative experience and turn it into an opportunity for growth and self insight. Eloisa

Getting over a gang rape--including a follow-up.

I have been using EFT for a little over a year now. I have watched the original tapes several times, the Ultimate Therapist tapes a couple of times, and just recently purchased From EFT to The Palace of Possibilities. Last June I had a client (Ann) who came to me for Reiki, to help her release stress and anger she felt she was building up. Work was overwhelming and her relationship with "Steve", her partner, was unwinding. We sat and talked before the Reiki session, and I asked her if she knew where all the "anger stuff" was coming from. She said she had never gotten over being gang raped 20 years ago by her ex-husband ("Neil") and a bunch of his service buddies (he also beat her regularly in those days and was verbally abusive). She felt

she could never forgive him (Neil), even though she had been through much traditional counseling. Her history was negatively affecting her current relationship with "Steve" and her ability to be intimate. I suggested that before we do Reiki, we try EFT (it was a new tool for me) and attempt to clear up the energy system a bit so that Reiki might be even more effective. She was willing to give EFT a try. So Ann started telling me her story and immediately had a SUDs [0-10 intensity] level of 10+. We defined that aspect as feelings of helplessness, and did two rounds of tapping to get that to a 0. As she retold the story, many other aspects came up and we tapped for them all. Some of them were:

anger at her husband anger at the other men involved anger at herself for allowing it to happen disgust at herself feelings of shame feelings of weakness feelings of dirtiness feelings of embarrassment feelings of worthlessness why did this happen to me? I made this happen I am not good enough I did not deserve this this is my fault why me?

and even more. We tapped ( often using the shortcut) until each one was a 0. The whole process took about an hour and a half, and was, at times, a tearful encounter. Ultimately she told the story, in several ways, and commented that it was like watching a movie - she was now outside the events, no emotional charge to it. She was thrilled and amazed. We moved on to her Reiki session and she left relaxed and happy. Two weeks later I received a call from Ann. She wanted to tell me about what had happened to her. She was on the phone with her ex-mother-in-law (whom she had remained in contact with throughout the years) who had called to wish her a happy birthday. While Ann was speaking to her ex-mother-in-law, her ex-husband "Neil" walked into the house and grabbed the phone. He said "happy birthday Annie" in what she heard as a sarcastic tone of voice. Ann said she was amazed - normally that would have caused her to "freak out" and go into panic and fear and an anxiety attack. Instead she just thought it was ridiculous and told him to put his mother back on the phone - no emotional charge. She was thrilled. Five months later Ann decided to file for an annulment from "Neil" (although they had divorced years ago, she had never gotten an annulment). She sent him the papers and was at peace with whatever would happen. He called her and they were able to have lunch and talk. He actually apologized and said he wanted to help her gain the annulment and whatever else he could do to make amends. Ann has since been able to talk with this man and explain how his past behaviors hurt her and caused her both physical and emotional pain, and she has been able to help both herself and him through a healing process. Her relationship with "Steve," her current partner, has become more comfortable and they are now working through intimacy issues she had previously been unable to approach. During all this time, Ann was seeing a traditional therapist and receiving medication for depression. She recognizes, as I do, that all of these tools have helped her to heal, and that

they have worked in synergistically to produce results she had only dreamed of in a short time frame. I have changed names to respect client confidences. Thanks for letting me share this experience. Ellen F. Simes, Rp

rage is calmed with EFT

Even though I have this pain in my neck of complete helplessness to stop the attack Taking each piece of pain and linking it with the part of the movie it was associated with, and tapping complete rounds on each, we reduced all the pain and the emotions to zeros. I had him play the movie straight through one frame at a time - but he declared all the rage and emotion was gone - at a zero. I still sensed pain, however and helped him locate some other bodily symptoms that were tied to very specific memories from the trauma movie. There was tightness in his chest, jaw and throat which we tapped down to a zero on a scale of 0 to 10. This related to having to repress himself from telling his father what he really thought after the incident. Even though I never got to tell him what I thought of him or what I would do to him because I had to protect myself There was also pain in his arm from where his father had grabbed him after the incident when my friend had set out to attack his father. Even though my father would have broken my arm if I tried to attack him and I had to stop and protect myself... And then, with this, an hours work done, he no longer felt any emotion about his movie or past father issues, or any traces of his current sense of rage over the issue in his house. Two months later he describes himself as "much better and back to normal with no traces of the rage whatsoever." In this instance, I can almost guaranty you that EFT saved a life, as the course he was on would have ended one and devastated many. In gratitude for your work,

Road Rage and hives disappear in one session after getting to the core issue
Another example where EFT facilitates a double whammy. Angie was on vacation visiting California from England, and was desperate for relief. She was a mild mannered teacher who appeared to be gentle and loving when she arrived for her session. She came to work on getting rid of the hives that plagued her by breaking out all over her body and face. As we looked at her childhood, it was obvious that she always tried to please her parents. She was afraid to speak up for fear of getting into trouble, and did anything she could to avoid confrontation. Her father had a mean temper and would lash out verbally and physically when angry. She first started breaking out in hives during her teenage years, and had been plagued with outbreaks ever since. We tapped on: Trying to be good to keep the peace. Wanting to be invisible so she wouldnt be on the receiving end of her fathers rage.

Never being able to speak up and voice her own opinion. Feeling powerless.

We then began tapping on her need to release repressed anger that was erupting on her skin. As she focused on releasing the anger she began to feel angry. I asked when she felt her anger the most, and she almost shouted. "When I'm surrounded by idiot drivers." Apparently as soon as she got behind the wheel she started to get angry at other drivers. It was always personal. They were cutting her off, driving too slowly, and it was all done deliberately! She didn't want to act this way behind the wheel, but didn't know how to stop. We continued to collapse various events in her childhood and teenage years that had been particularly traumatic where she had not spoken up and been heard. Then we did the movie technique as she tapped and imagined herself driving, feeling her usual rage. We gradually changed her intensity until she could imagine a movie of herself driving and feeling the way she wanted to be ... calm, relaxed, and listening to music. By the time the session was over, the hives she had when she arrived for her appointment had already begun to subside. She reported back a week later to say she didn't need her next appointment as she had been driving with no outbursts, only feeling herself getting angry a couple of times and then being able to tap it away instantly.

The EFT Cooling Tower Technique for Letting off Steam

This anger management method by Angie Muccillo from Australia is a common sense approach to use for people who have reached their "boiling point." In her use of it with one client she says, "She started shaking and crying and literally steaming as she imagined what she would do to them if she could. After about 4 rounds she stopped, opened her eyes and with absolute amazement said, Its stopped, it just stopped, its gone, meaning her intense anger and feelings of vengeance. She was utterly surprised and stunned and of course very relieved." This is an anger management technique I have used to successfully help clients let off steam safely and effectively, combining EFT with a simple visualization to help vaporize the energy of anger. The function of a cooling tower is to remove energy from a building. This is an interesting metaphor and can be used to remove 'heated energy that can build up within us, sometimes to the boiling point. Cooling towers are specially designed chimneys used in the production of coal for electricity. Here the concept is used as a metaphor for the rise and release of heated angry energy and emotions, which boil inside and cause us to eventually lose our cool, most often inappropriately and to the detriment of others and ourselves. Here is an example of a treatment, where the client went from steaming to cool in 4 rounds. Sue (not her real name) described a disturbing incident where her 8 year-old son was bullied and beaten up by a group of older boys in a toilet block at school a few months ago. Sue described how, in her anger and rage, she stormed down to the school to literally go after the boys who had harmed her son. She was angry with the school for allowing this to happen and felt that not enough was being done about it. She hurled abuse at the teachers, and went off in a fit of rage, demanding to get her hands on those boys. Since the incident Sues son developed a fear of public toilets, experienced separation anxiety and went from being a bright, outgoing, popular child to a withdrawn frightened one who feared going anywhere without his mother, including school. Sue had come to talk to

me about getting help for her son, but was becoming increasingly distressed as she told the story. She clearly was holding on to an enormous level of anger toward her sons attackers and the school and was talking about going back to the school again to have her say in much the same fashion as she did before. As she was already in the moment in this case, instead of applying EFT in the classic fashion of using set up phrases, I asked Sue if I could start tapping on her, while she was feeling upset. She agreed to try it. As I tapped the shortcut points in a continuous manner, I asked Sue to close her eyes and visualize what she would do to those boys if she could get her hands on them. I asked her to send those thoughts and images up through her head as though she was releasing steam through a chimney. She started shaking and crying and literally steaming as she imagined what she would do to them if she could. After about 4 rounds she stopped, opened her eyes and with absolute amazement said, Its stopped, it just stopped, its gone, meaning her intense anger and feelings of vengeance. She was utterly surprised and stunned and of course very relieved. I asked her if she was willing to describe what happened in her mind. She said that at first the vision of a gun appeared vividly as she addressed the boys and teachers but then the image simply vanished and she just snapped out of it. She had cooled right down within a few minutes. You could see the relief on her face and in her body, which had collapsed back into the chair. She realized how destructive carrying this kind of anger was and how different she felt without it. She said the image of steam rising from her head really helped her to let go. In her newfound coolness she started speaking differently about the whole situation and started coming up with new ideas and insights about how to handle the problem. Needless to say these were far more diplomatic than the use of weaponry! Instead of feeling at war with her sons attackers and the school, she was able to put down her guns (her fears, vengeance, deep sense of injustice and defensive rage) and start making decisions from a place of calm, rather than the previous place of rage. She acknowledged that her anger only really made the situation worse and achieved nothing in the way of resolution. She was glad to be free of it and felt ready to discuss the situation calmly. In a separate session with her son we used the same technique to release his anger towards the boys who had hurt and humiliated him. Interestingly he also brought up the same visual of a gun. This is the sort of deep emotional disturbances our children do not need to hold onto and carry into adulthood. We are incredibly fortunate to have EFT. Within one long session, EFT helped resolve all his issues and he is back to being confident and stress free, no longer showing any of his previous symptoms of anxiety. How to Apply the Cooling Tower Technique Whenever you are heated up about something, and feel like you could blow your stack use EFT to take the heat out of it and cool down safely by diffusing the anger before it creates bigger problems. Spend time doing EFT on these boiling issues, changing the path from one of potential destruction to one of greater peace and calm. The trick is to unleash in your mind, without holding back, all the thoughts and actions that you are tempted to take. Sometimes we just carry these inside us, allowing ourselves get to a boiling point and then exploding. While other times we explode first and think later. But by then its often too late and at best we hurt our loved ones or at worst we may be led to commit a crime; all of

which could have been avoided with some simple tapping to let off the excess steam (energy). 1. Think of a problem in your life that is causing you to be at war with somebody, or something in your life that you are heated up about. Is there a person or group of people who you could kill for something theyre done towards you or someone else that leaves you feeling enraged. Use a Heat-o-meter to measure how heated up you are about the issue, with 0 being completely cool to 10 being 100% steaming or fuming. 2. Close your eyes and allow yourself to focus on the scene in your minds eye and imagine what you would do to get back, get even, settle the score etc. Say what you really feel compelled to say or compelled to do to the other person or persons. 3. While letting the 'heat rise up, tap continuously and imagine sending those thoughts and images up through your head as though you are releasing steam through a chimney. Tap until all those images have evaporated like steam. Using EFT as a weapon to end those inner and outer wars creates a deep sense of personal peace despite the external circumstances and this translates into peace at home, work and in the community. We can all contribute to world peace simply by systematically letting off steam with EFT. We do have the power. It is at our fingertips!

Anger case--the urge to explode

We had one session two months earlier when we worked on EFT coping strategies for his beginning a new job. With those working well, Tim now felt ready to tackle the underlying issues in his continuing urge to explode. In our talking together, Tim realized that in his "explosions" he was acting the way his raging, unpredictable, abusive mother had acted only now it was his own behavior which he could neither predict nor control. In one session, Tim was able to work through (1) his fear and rage at his mother, (2) the horror of watching his father beat his mother to ostensibly stop her screaming and (3) finally laugh with relief at what had formerly been so traumatic. The following is the essence of our work with the wording for the setup phrasing as close as possible to what we covered. Sometimes this phrasing ran very quick and free, changing with each line, which made it lively and also very triggering to get at the aspects quickly. We generally did full single rounds including the liver point at the bottom front of the rib cage but with no 9-gamut. LORI: Try picturing your mother and see what you feel. TIM: I feel the pit of my stomach - a pressure, an anger. EFT: Even though I have this mother anger in my stomach... (tap: this mother anger) LORI: What do you feel now? TIM: I feel sorrow for me because I had to watch all this... and sorrow for her. I have forgiven her before, why do I still have this feeling in my stomach? LORI: I don't know, but let's try a round. EFT: Even though I've forgiven her, I can still have this anger that needs to be looked at... (tapping on "this mother anger"). TIM: The feeling in the pit of my stomach is gone. But I feel it now just below my throat there's still some anger. (I remembered now to pick up some SUDs intensity readings (0-10 scale) and asked Tim how strong the anger had been at the start vs. now. He's started at a 7 or 8 in the stomach

which was now gone. Now it was a 5 at the throat. We repeated the same phrasing for another round and the throat anger was gone. TIM: I still feel the anger but now it's in my head - in front of my forehead - like my head wants to burst, to get rid of this negativity. I want to take it out on whoever is around me. I could scream. I feel a pressure inside, an anger. LORI: ...all these years of stuffing this mother anger? Is it like it wants to explode just like hers did? TIM: Yes! EFT: Even though I feel this anger pressure in my head... Even though I've stuffed this anger and it wants to explode... Even though I could scream... All these phrases were used during the one setup tapping the karate chop point. TIM: I guess I feel more relaxed - and also uptight for bringing up the past. I haven't done this for a long time. It bothers me in a sad way. If we weren't brought up this way, I'd be a different person. I feel sorry for her and mostly for me - I've lost 5 years of my life. EFT: Even though I'm grieving for the loss of this time and the loss of my childhood to my mother's illness and rage... TIM: I feel lighter. The pressure in the head is gone. There's no pressure anywhere. LORI: OK. Let's test our work. Picture her pulling your hair, her verbal put downs, her telling you she hoped you'd be hit by a car or choke on your food. TIM: I feel this hatred when I remember how she did those things. (It was difficult for Tim to feel these feelings before - they appeared to be judged out of awareness. Now it was possible to access them and so clear them.) EFT: Even though I feel this hatred when I remember how she... (We went through the list during the setup and tapped on "this mother hatred".) TIM: Tears are rolling down my cheeks - such sorrow - we all went through this including my grandmother. It was a tragedy. Everyone suffered a living hell. Dad hit mom with his fists, bruising her. She'd go to the floor still foaming at the mouth, still screaming - nothing made her stop. We kids would shout "Please, mom, shut up! Shut up!" There were 18 years of this. LORI: (Very gently said) OK, Tim, just picture the beating, the foaming, the bruising. TIM: I want to scream - like I did then. EFT: Even though all we could do was scream "shut up, mom", and dad would hit her, and she'd foam and bruise, and we'd cry and feel angry both... (tapping with "shut up, mom, shut up"). There was noticeable calming even during the setup and then progressively through the round. It seemed that finally speaking the unspeakable was a tremendous relief and it seemed important to speak all of it while tapping. TIM: I'm happy it's over and I will never, ever have to listen to that again. The memories are there, but I'll never have to live through it again. There's a sense of relief... and I'm a little nervous. I just brought this up and I'm relieved that I did - and it didn't have much impact on me now as it would have in the past.

LORI: What has you nervous? TIM: I'm a little scared because I brought it up. LORI: Is it like you're betraying the family secret? Like you might be punished for that? TIM: Yeah. EFT: Even though I might be punished for betraying the family secrets - how crazy mom was... Even though I'm telling all the family secrets... (tap: I'm telling all the secrets.) TIM: I feel very relaxed! (laughter, sigh) It feels like all this negative stuff is dissolving. LORI: Take a couple of deep breaths and enjoy the relaxation. TIM: I feel drowsy, comfortable, floating if I close my eyes, drifting. Feels great! We discuss continuing to check our work or stopping here. Tim wants to continue. LORI: So picture mom again. Let's check our work. See her throwing things. TIM: I had an 8-track stereo/turntable on my dresser and I loved to play 70's music. I'd earned the money for it and I loved my music - it calmed me. She would come into my room and bounce it on the table until it began to come apart. Then she'd turn it off and order me to do tasks. She'd destroy my pleasure, something of mine. LORI: How do you feel now thinking of this? TIM: It bothers me just a little - she's ruining something of mine. I feel it in my chest and arms - the muscles used to destroy things, to rip shirts and throw things. LORI: The same muscles she used to ruin your things? TIM: Yeah. EFT: Even though she broke my things and I feel this pressure in my muscles to do the same thing... (tap with "break things just like she did") LORI: So picture this incident again. TIM: It bothers me just in the sense she's ruining something of mine. I worked hard to buy that stereo. LORI: What do you feel now? TIM: Anger and frustration - I wanted to bounce HER head on the table. I had to stuff it. I loved that stereo. EFT: Even though I feel anger and frustration that she bounced my stereo and I just wanted to bounce her head instead - I loved that stereo... (tap: she bounced my stereo) TIM: It doesn't bother me to think about it. There are no physical sensations. It feels good to have said these words. LORI: So try picturing dad hitting mom. TIM: It doesn't bother me. There are no physical signals from my body except what one might expect. LORI: What is that?

TIM: Well, when I picture dad hitting her, she's on the kitchen floor and foaming, well, there's really no reaction. LORI: What would you give it on a scale of 0 to 10? TIM: A zero. We ran through a number of other violent or abusive memories from Tim's childhood and each was coming up with a SUDs of zero, much to Tim's surprise. One in which mom had hit the kids with a wooden spoon when they couldn't quote the Bible perfectly actually looked hilarious in its hypocrisy. He could finally laugh at it. LORI: So let's do a little more checking here. Think of tearing your shirt off. TIM: It's so easy to do. I'm afraid I will, I can. LORI: Try picturing mom with the stereo. TIM: I feel a slight urge to do it too. LORI: What's the SUDS? TIM: 3 or 4. EFT: Even though she got to do it, my muscles want to bounce on something too - she got away with it, my muscles want to... (tap: my muscles) TIM: There's still some tendency to DESTROY things. EFT: Even though I feel an urge to destroy things to discharge this anger pressure that builds up in me... (tap: destroy things) TIM: (Laughter) Damn, that's good! I can laugh at it. I can look around the room and it doesnt' bother me! It's gone! Wow, that's amazing! This is the same reaction people get on the EFT tapes! With the laughter it clicked! I feel so good! This is what I love about this work! By the way, I just followed up with Tim (two weeks later) and discovered that he did not have any of his former explosion reactions. However, he did have some concern over having those reactions again and he wanted another appointment. This suggests that either there is more work to do on the original problem OR his concern is simply a fear of the fear returning. In either case, it is likely a tappable issue.

Anger in a homeless shelter

Baerbel Froehlin, Cht/HypnoCoach brings EFT into a homeless shelter and teaches the women there to use EFT for anger management. She stresses the use of emphatic language (yelling) while doing EFT. Yelling the EFT phrases can be most useful in these circumstances. I was invited into the local homeless shelter, to introduce EFT to a group of women there. It was quite an experience, something Id like to share. On my way to the homeless shelter I started to think about how I would best start out to get the attention of those women. They all live under extreme conditions; all are in need of shelter, food and many other things that are required to survive. When I got into the room and looked around, I could sense the abuse many had suffered. Latent fear and aggression were overpowering in the room. So I started out with:

Even though I am angry.. I am okay Even though Im filled with it . I am okay Even though this anger takes my breath away. I accept myself the way I am Without hesitation everybody followed, some quietly, most of them looked as if I had suddenly awakened them, as they went along.Personally, I like to yell when I talk about being angry. It feels very freeing to me, and the results are always powerful and quick. So everybody in the room started to yell with me: I am soo is unfair.. I am angry . very angry . this anger needs to get out . but Im okay anyway I want it to leave.. I want to breathe easy again this anger is strangling me . I feel like yelling and screaming . like kicking and hissing .. Im sooo full of anger . takes my breath away ..hard to imagine Ill be better soon but I am okay anyway Even though this anger needs to get out now .. its heavy and pressing me down still takes my breath away .takes up too much space inside life is so unfair . and I feel like I cant do a thing. to get out of this situation . out of this mess . feels hopeless . and very sad. but I accept myself and my anger totally and completely As we went through several rounds I reminded them at each tapping point to stop, breathe and stay with your issue. We went on with: Even though I am still angry.. I now choose to be open to believe that good things can happen to me . and probably will . because I can calm down now . at least some I choose to understand that what I am sending out is what I am getting back . I choose to remember this . at least once in a while . Thats why I choose to calm down now. to breathe deeply and relax a little . and imagine myself smiling . in a good way and people will smile back to me . that makes me feel good accepted and part of life out there. The women looked at each other; some had bright, happy smiles, some smiled more timidly. I choose to find . that smiling makes me feel good . makes me look good . I like myself . I like when others smile back to me . I choose to feel accepted as the person I am . that feels good . and I notice . I can breathe and feel calm and relaxed . I feel good . I am well . I feel motivated . I can do things for myself and others . and that feels good . All is well with me! When asked for their 0-10 intensity numbers (which had been very high in all cases), many of them had a two, several a zero. They felt excited and started asking a lot of questions. When it was time for me to leave, the women already talked about using it daily from now on, to keep the anger under control. My short demonstration had accomplished what I had wanted so badly for all of them: to give them back control, at least some! And dont you always love it when that happens? I do for sure.

The importance of applying EFT instantly after an accident!

The other day I had a fascinating experience when I fell down a flight of stairs in my house. It shows the importance of applying EFT instantly after an accident. There are 10 carpeted stairs which I run up and down a hundred times during the day. In the past ten years I often had the image of how I could easily slip on the carpet and then fall down in all kinds of twisted ways, injuring me in a devastating fall, the way you often see happen in movies. When it actually happened at the top of the steps, I slid down each single one of the ten steps on the right side of my hip, heavily hitting on each step, without being able to stop it or correct the direction my body was twisted in. While falling I became really afraid of possible painful injuries. After I reached the bottom of the stairs, somewhat numb and in shock, I instantly remembered from my hypnotherapy training that the very first moment after an accident is always the most crucial time to make a positive impact on how your body responds physically. Your database, your subconscious mind at that shock moment, is wide open for positive suggestions and will act upon them right away. Tapping rapidly on the face points I started talking loudly to myself: So it finally happened ... look at me ... How could I be in such a frenzy again. My poor body ... bouncing down all those stairs . and I couldn't stop it.. Couldn't protect it ... What was I thinking ... I blame myself for being unkind ... so unloving to my body ... So disrespectful ... Just racing down the stairs again. like I always do .. Never taking the time to do things slowly ... My body is my oldest, best friend ... how could I do that to my best friend ... Always in a hurry ... not paying attention .. Not being important enough ... Still not important enough ... not important enough to protect it at all times ... When will I finally remember ... that I'm the most precious person in my world? My dear body ...I'm so sorry I for putting you into this mess ... Please forgive me. You ARE the most important body in the world for me ... I LOVE YOU... Please forgive me ... I'm so sorry if I hurt you ... You are a strong healthy body... I know that about you ... I love that about you .. I so appreciate that about you ... you are wonderful ... and you are healing a thousand times faster now than any other body possibly could. I'm so proud of you ... And I thank you from the bottom of my heart . I'm getting up now ... And all is well with me.. All is the way it is supposed to be ... The best possible way for me.... Thank you, body .I love you ... you are the most wonderful body in the world! I got up slowly and noticed my cat, crouched down on top of the stairs, staring down at me with wide eyes, frozen in place. I had to laugh and knew that I was fine! There was only a slight discomfort in my hip that disappeared within the next hours. I watched myself closely for any sign of pain or damage - there was none at all at the end of the day. Can't possibly describe how grateful and relieved I still feel!!

When physical symptoms persist despite EFT treatment

In the summer my son decided it would be a good idea to mountain bike with friends in narrow alleyways in the next village. My eldest son was filming this event, including the crash that injured his arm.

When he came home I was subjected to watching the whole 'exciting' drama on film and had to do a lot of tapping to be able to watch the video. It made me feel sick and shaky to watch at first. However my sons arm became really swollen and painful and we tapped for all the pain. I used the video as the real life movie technique which accessed all his feelings about it and the physical reactions as he watched the movie. Even though my arm is so sore and I feel so stupid... Even though I am so mad with myself, I should have turned... Even though this really hurts and I think I've wrecked my arm for the summer holidays and I AM SO ANGRY with myself... These were some of the phrases he used, along with continual tapping on all the pain, and the pain and swelling came down. However it reappeared after using it the next day. My husband suspected a fracture and suggested we go to the hospital for an x-ray. I got him to tap all the way to the hospital, when we got there again the swelling had subsided, so much so the doctor told us it was most definitely not a fracture and was bruised and should be gently used. He reluctantly agreed to an x-ray, as I felt he was not taking into account the tapping we had done. The next day my son was nearly fainting with pain and we kept tapping to control the pain. Two evenings later we got a phone call to say they had done a review of the x-ray and there was a fracture after all. They showed us the x-ray and at first we couldn't see it, but after blowing it up and reducing it we could see it clearly. We kept up the tapping as my son was so upset at the thought of missing out on sailing over the summer etc. To everyones surprise on the two week checkup it was totally healed and he had a great summer! But he gave up the mountain biking in the village.

"Even though this pain can't live in the face of love..."

Every Thursday afternoon a group of 7 people meet with me to work on overeating issues using EFT. Often we forget about being specific for weight loss and focus on aspects that come up. This was the case with "Vera" who had been suffering from a "wedge-like green pain with tendrils in my shoulder blade" for 20 years. She identified that the pain was a level of intensity of 7 on a scale of 0 to 10 and recognized that the time the pain started was when she was separating from the father of her son. She was still angry at her former husband for abandoning her son and other issues surrounding the separation. Our group knows now they can put all their energy into the one person whose issue we are working on specifically, or else work on their own issue at the same time, hence, Borrowing Benefits. I often mix up the words and string together many thoughts and phrases while leading the group through the affirmations. In this case it went something like: Even though I have this wedge-like green pain with tendrils in my shoulder blade... Even though I have this anger toward "Bill"... Even though Bill abandoned "Mark"... This round changed the pain from a 7 out of 10, wedge-like green pain in the shoulder blade to a 5 out of 10, heavy weight in the upper arm and shoulder. We did a couple of rounds using similar language and the pain seemed to get stuck at 3 out of 10. We added in the 9 gamut and a follow up round with little success.

I have found if the 9 gamut doesn't clear up an issue that's stuck, the problem may be one of forgiveness. We started forgiving Bill and all that that means and Mark for whatever part he might have played and Vera for her part in all of this, and it was still stuck on 3. By this time the whole group was determined to remove this heavy weight in Vera's upper arm. During one of the rounds I was intuited to say "no pain or negative emotion can live in the face of love" and the group felt some connection to that. I remembered Ann Adams worked once with a woman who had suffered for a long time and had tried EFT with other practitioners and was convinced nothing would help. What Ann did and what we did also, was to have Vera imagine she was removing the pain physically from her shoulder and put it on the coffee table in front of us. I had her literally reach back and pull out the pain and put it on the table at this point. We all talked about how it looked, how big it was, it's energy and anything else we could think of about it. We then tapped: Even though this pain can't live in the face of love, I forgive this pain and all that that means ... I love you pain ... I deeply and completely love and accept myself and this pain ... I choose to remove all the non-me energy from this pain and send it back to the universe with love and gratitude ... I choose to retrieve all the me energy from this pain and bring it back to the right place within myself. (these last two are paraphrased from Logosynthesis). At the end of a very intense round of sending all the love, gratitude (for the message it was sending) and forgiveness to the pain Vera looked up kind of dazedly and said, "I think it's a 0". We were all so happy we applauded. Creative persistence is often the key to healing. I feel there is nothing that can harm us if we give it enough love and EFT. Thank you so much, Gary, for making it so accessible to everyone. Yours in Good Health,

How to use EFT for pain that keeps returning to the same place
while ago one of our trainee practitioners sent me an email, which once again demonstrates the role of awareness while tuning in. She wrote just a little thing, but pleased enough to want to tell you. I had a very sharp pain in my side just a while ago and I did the tapping, The pain started to go as soon as I started to tap, got it to 0 out of 10, but it kept coming back after I stopped tapping! I tried a few times, but same thing happened. So (clever me!) I tapped on Even though this pain in my right side keeps returning after I stop tapping... It went away, then just to make sure I tapped, This pain is gone for good, this pain won't return - and it hasn't! Just a little thing, but still... From Maria Since I received this email, I have used a variation of this little gem; Even though the pain keeps returning to (the specific part of body) after I stop tapping, I choose for the healing to continue and to feel really good in my body. This has been very helpful to my clients who use EFT for pain management, specifically for a lady with arthritis who has been using EFT for a relatively short period of time (4 months). Even though the inflammation and pain keeps returning to my knees, hips and spine after I stop tapping, I choose for the healing to continue and to feel really good in my body. She has found this gives her hours of pain relief. Thank you for the tears of joy I get to witness because of EFT.

Tap while you listen to what your aching body has to say
If Your Aching Shoulder Could Talk, What Would It Say? You complain about your body complaints - that damn shoulder, those bung knees, that creaky neck - but how about giving your body complaints a chance to complain about you? I wonder what they would have to say. The purpose of this exercise is to give your painful body parts a chance to voice their point of view, express their pain, and hurt while giving you a chance to really listen and take note. In this exercise, you will be paying attention to your aching screaming body parts. This is an exercise in "in-tuition" Learning from within. It involves tuning in to your body and learning what it needs by listening to how it feels. Communicating with your body in this way can re-establish or strengthen your connection to it. Sometimes we spend so much time complaining about our pain (either silently or aloud) that we forget to stop and listen for the message in the pain. Once we understand what our shoulder is angry about, for example we can release it with EFT. Let's see what a typical shoulder has to say. If you have a shoulder complaint of any sort then do your shoulder a favor and tap along. Simply tap the EFT points continuously as you read this script. You can borrow the benefits from this shoulder complaint. This is definitely one uptight shoulder! A Word From Your Shoulder Complaint Hi it's me, your shoulder, yes that right REMEMBER ME? It's nice to be heard FINALLY! Where do I begin? I've tried and tried to get your attention over and over again but you just won't listen to me. I have sent you repeated pain signals and messages but you ignore all my warnings and push on despite them. What's that all about? I don't understand why I have to get so red and angry to be heard. It's the only time you acknowledge me - and when you do, all I get is condemned. "That damn shoulder!" you cry. I feel like hunching over every time you hurl abuse at me. How do you think that makes me feel? You complain about me, well you know what? I've got a few complaints of my own. I've been carrying your load and burdens all these years and what sort of appreciation do I get? NONE! To be honest I am fed up and angry with you for treating me so badly. I've been supporting you all these years but I'm cracking and crumbling under the pressure. All I want is to know that I am doing a good job. Just the slightest acknowledgment would do. Some positive attention for a change would be greatly appreciated. BUT you keep saying 'yes', when you mean 'no. 'I'm sick and tired of it. I wish you would follow your 'no's' for a change. But because you don't follow your 'no's', you always end up over-committing yourself and working too long and too hard and you don't even enjoy it most of the time. Then you take it all out on me and complain incessantly about how I bother you and what a pain I am and how I stop you from doing what you need to do. I just tighten up more and more every time I hear you say yes to something you don't want to do or be or have. I'm sick and tired of being tied up in knots all the time! If you insist on carrying all those burdens and don't learn to say no, when you mean no, then I'm going to have to say it for you by flaring up and firing a few more pain signals your way. I might even freeze right up so you can't move and then you'll be forced to stop what you are doing right there and then. I know that may seem a little harsh but that way you might get the message that I'm overworked and overtired and deserve a holiday!! Here's the deal. I'll rush you a load of those feel good chemicals you like so much, just as soon as you relax and give me a break! Deal? Step by Step Guidelines For Writing Your Own Script - How To "Take Note" of Your Complaints Step 1. Choose a physical complaint, and ask your complaint to state its own complaints.

Step 2. Invite your aching body part to speak up. Ask for the loudest complaint to come forward and deal with this one first. Step 3. Focus on the area of your body you would like to heal - shoulder, neck, back, stomach - and ask it to talk to you about how it is feeling. Encourage your chosen body part to express any complaints and upsets openly and honestly and without holding back. Listen carefully and write down everything you are being told, take note of every complaint, every unheard request and every upset. You are at the service of your body here. Your job is simply to take note. Allow yourself to be creative in the process. Step 4. Once you have finished your script, read it aloud and either tap continuously on the EFT points OR rub the sore spot until you get to the end of the script and then use a reminder phrase at each point such as, "this (name of body part) complaint." Step 5. Write a reply to your complaint in the form of a Self Care Plan. This is your chance to address your body's complaints. Write to your complaint or simply talk to it about your intentions to address its concerns. You may want to start by acknowledging its complaints and showing empathy for what it is experiencing. You can then explain what you plan to do (what action you will take) to address these complaints. For example, a Self Care Plan for the above shoulder complaint might sound something like the letter below. Again tap along to borrow the benefits. Dear Shoulder, Yes I hear you loud and clear now that I've stopped and taken time out of my busy schedule to take note of how you feel about all this. I know I've been a pain to live with lately, but things are going to change now. Even though in the past I have been guilty of not listening to you, from now on I vow to tune in to how you are feeling and do what is necessary to take care of it. As soon as I start to receive a pain signal from you, I will promise to stop and look at what I'm doing that is overloading you. I vow to take care of you, respect you, praise you and appreciate you for all your hard work. Yes you have carried me all this time and now I take the time to show my appreciation. How's this - I will ensure that you get a massage at least once a fortnight (or weekly if you're complaining gets too loud!) I will take your advice and start saying no, when I mean no. Even though I've been guilty of saying 'yes' when I mean 'no,' I choose to follow my 'no's' from now on. I will take a long hard look at what I take on and whether it is in my best interest. I put you first and focus on getting balance back into my life so that you don't have to work so hard. Hey and guess what! I just went to see the boss and I've put in for 6 weeks off. Now does that sound like a "Self Care Plan" or what? Do You Need Extra Help Tuning In? If you have difficulty tuning into to your body and you can't 'hear' the messages, try these little EFT Tune Ups: Even though I can't tune in to what my body is trying to tell me, I choose to listen for the message in the pain. Even though I'm so out of touch with my body's needs, I choose to practice listening and taking note of what my body is trying to tell me. Even though until now I have neglected and ignored the messages from my body, I choose to pay more attention from now on. Recommended Uses This technique can be used for pain management, whether it is for long-term chronic pain or injury, illness or postoperative related pain. The more you take note of your body's complaints and tap on these complaints, the less likely your body will complain. You can apply this process to all your physical complaints, starting with the loudest ones first.

Using this technique regularly may lead to pain reduction. It can also be used in a preventative manner by helping you stay in tune with your body and giving it what it needs for optimum health, whether it is better nutrition, more rest, more exercise, recovery time, letting go of certain obligations, cutting back work hours, increasing recreation time, increasing creative pursuits etc. Angie Muccillo ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Here's a nice addition by Nancy Porter-Steele, PhD Hi, Gary. In connection with the excellent article by Angie Muccillo, regarding listening to your body, I offer something that I developed, and which I call the "Any Body's, Every Body's Mantra". This mantra can be used aloud or silently, at any time, and especially when first sitting down or lying down, as the body starts to let go of some of its effort; that's often the moment when pain is noticed. The mantra is, "Thank you, body. Thank you, body. Thank you, body." Repeat many times. If there is a particular part of the body feeling bad, direct the mantra there. For example, "Thank you, shoulder, for all you do for me. Thank you for all you've put up with." I have been talking to my own body for years, expressing appreciation sometimes, and sometimes regret for all the body part has suffered. This body likes it, a lot. May this be helpful to many other bodies!