Running head: A MOTHERS LIFE

Reflections a Mothers Life Angelica Strong PSY 202 Adult Developments and Life Assessment Teddy Moya September 07, 2011

A MOTHERS LIFE What was your family like?

A. Daddys girl B. Family Dysfunction

Do you have your own family now? A. Twenty one and four kids B. Motherhood C. Hobbies What did you want to be when you grew up? A. My dreams
B. Drive for success

A MOTHERS LIFE

Today I will convey particular reflections of my life as a child who endured her emotionally and physically abusive alcoholic step-father and a mother that showed little love or compassion when I needed her. My childhood could be defined as just another statistic enduring depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem well into my adulthood. I felt as though I found what I had been longing for in my childhood when I became a young mother. In spite of family dysfunction and my step-fathers stern hand, I am a daddys girl still in need of his words of advice and wisdom. One of the most significant parts of my step-fathers alcohol addiction was always the end results put upon the family. For instance as a child I often lack guidance, positive role modeling, and life in isolation (Uzma & Seema, (2006) para. 5). In basic terms, as a result of little support from within the family structure I became pregnant at the young age of 15 years old. Today I reflect on my life as a mother who is determined to accomplish my dream of being much more than just a 41 year old mother of four. I grew up in a rough part of Sacramento, California the middle child of four. Enduring an emotionally and physically abusive alcoholic step-father and a mother that showed little love and compassion when I needed her. I consider becoming pregnant at 15 and running away the many times I did as a perfect examples of how a dysfunctional family may set the stage for such disorder especially in adolescents. (Uzma & Seema, (2006) para. 4).

A MOTHERS LIFE My mother a lifelong waitress worked two or three jobs at a time and my stepfather worked hard as a butcher, they did what they could to survive with four children. Because my parents worked so much there was a lack of parenting and times when we

children were raising one another. After time I came to realize that even though my stepfather was hard on us, he did the best he could do for me before he passed away at the young age of 43. My heart truly broken, I had never been so devastated in my life. Although my step-father raised us with a stern hand, I am a daddys girl and I still needed his advice and wisdom to carry me through lifes ups and downs. His passing resulted in bouts of frequent suffering of depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem right through my entire adult years. The important social consequence of addiction is the effect it has on the family which is the basic unit of society (Uzma & Seema, (2006) para. 4). All I had ever wanted was to make my step-father proud of me because I wanted to feel those feelings of love and devotion from him that I felt when we spent time together fishing, or hiking on our camping trips, most of all when we drove to the Sacramento River and just sat by the water talking. Even though those days were few and far between I was still a daddys girl in need of his advice and guidance. Consequently, with little support from within my family structure during my adolescent years I had became pregnant at the young age of 15. Furthermore, by the time I was 21 I had four children and still had not married their father. I had searched so long for that feeling of unconditional love alongside the affection that comes with being so loved; I had finally found that in motherhood. I love my children and would never trade them for anything in the world but, had I waited to have my children until after I had a career they would not have had to endure

A MOTHERS LIFE the tough childhoods experienced with little money coming in. Had I followed my parents rules and took going to school more seriously I would have graduated and went onto college to become a criminologist helping young children. I would have gotten married and had my children after my career. In turn this would have made a better life for my children and me. In our text Adult Development and Life Assessment John Holland talks about the different personality types such as the social personality one who enjoys solving problems and interacting with others in a cooperative manner (Witt, G.A., & Mossler, R.A. (2010) 2(2.1) pg. 31), this definitely describes my personality type. By way of this natural ability I am able to teach my children the values and determination they need to become successful adults. I did not realize it until I was in my thirties but, I had learned just as much from my children as they had from me loving and molding them into the good people they are today. The most significant parts to my step-fathers alcohol addiction would be those end results that were always put upon our family. In part to those end results my parents were unable to provided me with the critical thinking skills and particular analytical ability that would be required in the collegiate environment Carri Kenner, Jason

Weinerman (2011) para. 1), I have learned to believe in myself and I know that I possess the internal drive along with the non-academic successes necessary to achieve my dream of working with the FBI and helping young children. Helping them to see their self worth and encouraging them to know they can do or be whatever they want to be in life. In doing so I will help them learn to achieve their goals and dreams.

A MOTHERS LIFE My life may have started as just a statistic but, I do not now and will not ever

allow this to define me or my future. Currently my children are off fulfilling their careers and lifelong dreams. I feel very accomplished as a mother and have learned that my dreams are just as achievable as theirs are. I now have the courage and self-esteem to accomplish those dreams with the encouraging words of Carri Kenner and Jason Weinerman Adult learners generally have had some level of success in their non-academic lives and they can replicate this success in their academic endeavors (2011) para. 22). I guess I would say that my success in raising children is my non-academic endeavor that will assist me in achieving my goals and dreams. Indeed, while I recognize that I have the internal drive and non-academic successes necessary to achieve my dream of working with the FBI and young children. I will continuously remember these reflections of a 41 year old mothers life striving to fulfill her dreams to be much more than just a mother of four. I may have grown up in Sacramento, California, endured being the child of an emotionally and physically abusive alcoholic step-father and a mother that showed little love or compassion when I needed her to. Equally as a child I often lack guidance, positive role modeling, and life in isolation. (Uzma & Seema, (2006) para. 5). I do not now and will not ever allow this to define me or my future.

A MOTHERS LIFE References Uzma Ali, Seema Munaf (Summer 2006). Pakistan Journal of Psychological Research. Retrieved from http://proquest.umi.com/pqdweb? did=1324254611&sid=4&Fmt=3&clientld74379&RQT=309&VName=PDQ Witt, G.A., & Mossler, R.A. (2010). Adult development and life assessment. Retrieved from https://content.ashford.edu/books/AUPSY202.10.2 Carri Kenner, Jason Weinerman (2011). Journal of College Reading and Learning. Retrieved from http://proquest.umi.com/pqdweb? did=2332273191&sid=2&Fmt=3&clientld=74379&RQT=309&VName=PQD