THE LORD AT SEEVARAM

( Sri D. Ramaswamy Iyengar)

We reached the station at night, the village. unostentatious shone year. the too their soothing knew filled and this alike only two, no their visit rapture were the all forgotten the cares them eager them in limbs mind that in on their but saw a with night. the For hearts for the to. number the the sleep. Either was those of to But they not only those had Lord six people, fellow that The midnight glad to rest Seevaram none, or they that to hence? and festivity. were , one, to in itself night whole hour, forget silvery moon lighting Highly Seevaram with a our rugged path from there to the

splendour which it gets only once a village the their and people had now come With women Not be and was astir though the clock pointed to time when men usually would be only worries of mind and body by laying

all-absorbing morrow,

expectation Varada hours men joyous -guests O'clock their

hearts.

preparing Guest and these

morrow's Twelve

accommodated

attended

women

cleaning

house-fronts,

and adorning them with flowery flour.

Having succeeded in

reached snatching

the a

village few

we, hours'

my sleep

father in

and spite of

myself the

glad was In but

noises too the

around The

us. in news like

But sight, that

the and God

immense we were --this into we, village was

joy well news the was

that on,

awaited by He by of up had that

us four was the the and to the

prominent morning. from in a in a

awake heralded hearts there, to her

coming

halfway peon and to our river

their

village the

dwellings darts And two whole

temple hearers, looked pick Palar

sprang bathing the

cupid's

minute

completely

its way at

ceremonies. morning's of

strangers down

half-darkness

where

distance

about

furlongs

carried

narrow

stream of water.

I could never round morning stretching there blowing chattered which intensity cold now; exposure in there light far, the from like to of was was the

forget white river and save north pair of as

my sand,

feeling the

as like At

stepped line a that me. the we white time

into the water. In a the of soul which our the to feel sheet not gale and in a time the water bathed on

All dull glass was was teeth

watery us. us

excepted.

appeared behind my chilled may and the I the came moment father

before river the a icy-cold, January the The so went bags

and to As

The bones

nut-crackers. be

stepped after a

water night's the of of

expected we in we signal-shot sank When

whole

weather,

before

had the had put and

chill, very did

from

direction heedless and our out

Conjeevaram. ourselves deposited we our

and

my back a

father. to willing

dressed Pundras, to meet

village, villager

with

started

Him who was coming.

MEETING MIDWAY

The signal shots were nearer and more frequent. My father's utterances of Sri Vishnu's Thousand Namas increased in emotion and loudness. My heart began to feel a very strange thrill, unfelt before even in similar circumstances. I became like one dazed with something wonderfully pleasing to the senses. The hairs stood on end on my body. I almost felt I had lost the heart to feel for anything else. He had captivated it, and now was coming to take possession of it perhaps. My father was touched to a still greater extent. The fire of devotion was in his eyes which stared in the direction ; it was in his chanting which grew louder and more appealing ; it was in every cell of his body which had become alert and stiff with ecstasy. Thus on we trod the road with quickened paces till till a faint glimmer of torchlight was seen in the far distance , a mere speck of light . Immediately my father stood still , gazing fixedly in that direction till he could gaze no more , and then fell forward prostrate on the ground. Tears of emotion , tears of devotion , tears of joy welled up in his eyes. The Nayaka had come atlast. A few minutes , and He would bring His Form into sight -- that divine rapture -bound personality for which wise men yearn in this world, and which is but a counterpart of that radiant Form seated far beyond human ken.

It was in such a state of mind that we first hailed the Dandika which was Hisvahanam (vehicle) at the time. O ! It was a moment of the supremest joy to me .There were a few drummers going ahead followed by a number of eager devotees who had walked and run with Him all the way from Conjeevaram. Behind them came the SreeBharamThangis (the bearers of the Divine Burden) ---- those blessed people to whom is given the unique pleasure of feeling the intense enthusiasm of which He is the inspirer. On their shoulders was the Dandika , which they carried now running , now walking , but ever with cries of Go-o-vinda ! Hey Varada ! -- cries of joy showing clearly how they triumphed over the otherwise weighty encumberance on their shoulders. And within this magnificent Dandika thus magnificently borne was seated a magnificent Form. Muffled up with a neat white silk up to the throat. He showed us only His face, a face which time has not spared , yet still possesses that most bewitching of smiles which once had enslaved thousands of Gopis , and now turns every one of us also into Gopi. There was something at once highly superb and secret about His whole

appearance . The body was unseable and the face was unreadable. And now our minds which had already been worked up to a high pitch went into raptures. The bliss was on me -- so I felt in that supreme moment.

It was a blessed hour. Being dawn, the east was slowly and gradually clearing up. Light growing in breadth and intensity was sitting on the eastern hilltops. Before it fled the darkness farther and farther into the west. The winged dwellers of the air were stirring themselves into activity. The loud cawing of the parent birds and the small low chirpings of the confiding young ones mingled in pleasant concord.It was perfect harmony everywhere. Dull dead inanimate nature, moving senseless animate nature and living loving thoughtful nature, all combined produced the note of eternal symphony. Nature discarded her shroud of darkness before the advancing light of the rising sun. The birds and the beasts shook off their drowsiness and took to active life. Men and women in their turn had all their mental darkness and spiritual drowsiness dispelled by the purest ray serene flooding from the Source of all Light and Love.

The procession was long , the hearts were full . A strange content took place of a vague desire of unsatisfied longing , and men and women tied together by the same bond of celestial love and saw each in the other and all in Him. There was especially one spot in the procession that was unique. It was the place behind God and before the Vedic Brahmins. Far ahead went the glimmering torchlights whose light mingled itself with the repeated beats of the drummers as they together gladdened the senses. Immediately in front and nearer than these could be perceived by the Dandigai, its sombre-coloured top and the long supporting cane alone visible as it was moving on, the cynosure of a thousand eyes that eagerly clustered round it. From behind came the sturdy sounds of the ancient Marai () as they emanated from the fatigued Brahmana Sreshtas who appeared to have vowed themselves to eternal kainkarya (service) to the Lord. To the right was the whitening east. To the left was the shadowy west. It was a commingling of all the pleasant feelings that man is capable of perceiving. Each sense in man had its feast. The eyes were gladdened by the glimmer

of the torchlights, the glow of the morn, and the glory of the Form. The ears revelled in the familiar sounds of the beatbeat of the Udal ( ) and Thiruchinnam and in the supreme sweetess of the Srutis. The mouth was pleasurably engaged in reciting Stotras and Pasurams or calling out the splendid names of the Lord such as Saranya ! Apath-Bhandhava ! Anatha-Rakshaka ! Deena-bandho ! Deena-dayalo !

Varada ! Varada-Prabho ! and so on. The nose had enough to do smell the fragrance of
the flowers that were then opening their buds to the magic touch of the morning sun , and to inhale the divine odour that filled the whole atmosphere on account of the Divine Presence. The body forgot itself in moving as one of the Adiyar Kuzham (

) following the Lord whereever. He might lead, even as the cows and cow-herds
are said to have followed the Piper of Brindhvan. Not a face but was aglow, not an eye but was a-lit, not a muscle but was alert. It was a living instance of "Laya that is being Laya" Laya talked of as the sublime state during samadhi. In the most literal sense each and every one there had all his being in the Lord whom he followed.
In The Village We had neared the village. There were awaiting us the whole lot of villagers with their loyal Deity in their midst. The welcome was cordial. The hearts the whole knot of the villagers were at once offered at the feet of the Visitor Lord. They had forgotten their own God.

The mingling of the fatigue of Conjeevaram with the freshness of the village marked the beginning of the festival proper. By this time it was twilight and faces were perceptible without the aid of torchlight. The moon had done her work in lighting the path of the Lord to the village and having seen Him safely in it set in supreme content with the full consciousness of having served the Lord to the best of her ability. The sun, as if to take her place, rose full in the east gladdening us all with welcome light and beat. By the time the Lord came to the streets of Seevaram the sun was fairly well up in the sky and the first thing that he did was to peep through the fields of the Dandigai at the face of the Lord. It was a heavenly servant paying homage to his Lord before taking up service. At that time when a ray of the sun fell on that Face, all nearby looked with wondrous awe at the luminous Face thus illuminated.

For the first time since the starting of the journey the Lord was now perceivable in light. Torchlight did its best to show off the sparklings of His environment but it failed to

exhibit the Face in all its glory. With day-light the Thejas (effulgence) was perceivable in all its splendor. The sweet Face, the pretty dimpled Chin, the long ivy-like Nose and the Eyelids that lotus-like seemed to open to the morning sun captivated us all a thousand times more than they did in the half-darkness of the night. The silks and shawls were yet covering the Lord's person, for although in the streets of Seevaram, He was still in Prayanakolam (traveling dress), His journey not having been finished. But it was a blessing as we all reckoned. This is the only time when one can look at the rapturous Face without disturbance or distraction. The moment He reveals His full Form the eye gets bewildered. Sooner can a man fix his attention on one lotus amidst a bunch of lotuses, than try to fix his attention on one part of the Lord. The ambitious eye travels from the face to the broad shoulders, from there to the prominent Chest, then to the two Divine luminaries attached to His Form the Shanka and the Chakra, from thence as the eager bee it descends to the beautifully shaped Hands, then to the Stomach and then to the Feet all a bewildering collection of lotuses of various hues, each surpassing the other in sweetness and sublimity, each by itself strong enough to rivet the attention o the eye and fix it for over to itself. But as it was, there was no trial for our eyes. They rested contentedly over the sublime Face and had enough to do to enjoy it in full.

The beauty of the whole Farm in its new light was exquisite. There were the soft eyelids suggestive of repose and sweet and balmy mercy. There was the lofty ivy-like nose which in its well-defined prominence enraptured every soul. The sweet chin that neatly protruded from beneath the mouth shone in splendid contrast to the covered parts below. The cheeks bore the dimples caused by the constant kissings of a thousand Nachimars (Consorts) to whom lips the Lord's well formed cheeks are the playground. Above all there was the charming mouth about whose corners a sweet ravishing smile was lurkinginscrutable in extent and unknowable in import. The two lips slightly parted threatening to show off the pearly whiteness inside justified every Gopi who had almost lost her life for one sweet kiss from those treasures of divine Ananda. The forehead bright as the moon and quite as broad seemed to have grown into the dazzling "Savari Paghai" the shining head dress of the Lord when engaged in travel. The whole Face was a splendid flower just bloomed, full of honey to the eager eyes that roamed to and fro along its honey-choked extent.

This was the Face that met the gaze of each villager as he came forward with offerings in his hands and love in his heart.

Needless to say the small village was then in its gala attire. Men and women, old and young, rich and poor were dressed in their best. Even the streets of undulated levels looked grand. They were decked with flowery designs below, and green and gay festoons above. Each house-front had

been made attractive by mango leaf festoons and pairs of bright shining Indian lamps. Each house-front was thronged with the inmates thereof together with all possible relations of theirs comprising the very aged, the middle aged, the youthful, the boyish and the babyish ones. It was a day when people came to the village claiming relationships which had been forgotten. The principal man of each house had in his hands a broad plate whereon lay the chosen offerings which he brought to the Lord who was gracing his village that day with His presence. To receive and acknowledge these the Lord paused at each housefront, and at each pause those around including the inmates of the house rushed toward and clustered round the Dandigai eager to catch a glimpse at that face which had come to bless them all that day, and to receive on their heads the Srisatari or the golden crown surmounted by His Paduka. This necessarily made the procession very slow along the streets of the village. There were even frequent punctuations of mandapappadies or small halts in specially erected mantapams or pandals. In these portions of the festivals we had necessarily to lose sight of the Lord for a pretty long time. It was not until the last mandapappadi was over and the Lord started towards the foot of the Hill that we again attached ourselves to the front of His procession and renewed our wondering gaze at His wondrous form.

AT THE FOOT OF THE HILL

This was the beginning of the second portion of the festival which, I was to find out , afforded opportunities of a Dharsan which surpassed all others I had ever beheld even of this very Lord on other occasions. From this village the procession wended its way round the principal Hill till it came to foot of it. Here had gathered another immense crowd come to worship this living God of Kaliyuga. Just opposite to the first step in the ascent of the Hill there was a pause, and in the trice of the Dandigai was thickly crowded round by a huge concourse of worshippers. Though almost crowded out from the spot nearest the Dandigai we still managed to peer now over the heads of others, and now through the chinks of the crowd. and what met my eye there baffles description. The the Divine form was revealing itself --- the mystery was being unravelled. Folds after folds of shawl and silk were being removed ; they were varied and picturesque hues and colours, and at each stage the particular shawl or silk which fell to be removed next as it surrounded that sweet and slender form looked so elegant and exquisite that in itself it appeared a perfectly fitting costume for that divine Image. after --- I cannot say how many -- some such were removed,

there suddenly appeared a stage when all at once a thousand stars threw out their scintillating lustre from that divine form through an enveloping thin veil of dark blue colour. It took the eye a minute to realise that it was the last silk --- a dark blue one -which was so transparent as to let out the shooting rays of the emeralds and sapphires of the ornaments which bedecked that Beauteous Form which was fit to adorn all the ornaments in the world. Next second that silk too was lightly set aside and immediately a thousand the eyes was something which no human eye could behold unless it was blessed with the Divya Sakthi (supernatural power) such as the one conferred on Arjna by Krishna, or unless He that Beauteous Lord of wondrous Form had chosen to greet it of His own Free will and sankalpa with this immensely attractive Incarnation of Beauty. This was the very vision which the Gopis had hugged to their eager hearts, the very vision which stood revealed in all its glory to the child Dhruva -- a vision indeed calculated to strike dumb a thousand Manmathas . This was the beauty of which the Srutis say in unmistakable terms " It is far beyond the reach of thought or speech" . This is the figure that day and night without a moment's cessation gladdens the eyes of Sri Lakshmi, the Divine Consort who in this Face and Form finds perennial and ever new Rasa. It was in short the Divya Abhirupyam which unsexed the severe sexless sages of yore and made one sage of recent times even to reject the Bliss of Paramapada as secondary when compared to this. A Valmiki, a Vyasa, a Suka, or a Parakala or Parankusa would perhaps have attempted to speak of this sweet and sublime Vision of Beauty in language appropriate to it. It is sheer madness for one of my type to attempt it. My language has nothing in it of truth or goodness. Trained as it is in sin and slang, it must be the last to attempt a description of this pure and ethereal beauty. I shall be paying the best homage to it by passing on without pausing on it any more

The Ascent

As soon as the dense throng round about could be compelled to make a way, the Dandigai began to move up the Hill. And with the ascent there developed on this most picturesque canvas a new picture. The

ascent being steep the Dandigai as it was borne up became inclined. The erstwhile erect Lord-so erect indeed that the Hill before him looked bentnow assumed a reclining posture. The Archakas with careful and loving hands held up a soft and downy Divan behind so that the soft Form of the Lord may rest on it as the Hill was being ascended.

The world-Artist that He is-God has painted many beautiful and charming pictures in the form of this huge and varied wide universe; but He too could not do justice to this picture if He were to attempt it. It was so glorious and so perfect. The blending of colours and the beautiful and appropriate background would have baffled the painting brush of any artisteven if it be He. Even without the central figure that adorned and beautified the spot now, the place in its natural scenery was immensely striking. The winding expanse of the Palar below, the dark hillocks beyond, the shiningorb of day behind, the thousand eager and beaming faces all around, the lofty ascent up this Hill, --it was in short a picture to be seen or imagined-never to be told or portrayed. The central figure was of course that Rapture-bound Divine Personality that shed beauty all round and infused into the ugliest environment a transcendental beauty. It was nothing new to Him. On the contrary we have heard it said by sages of yore that it was very usual with Him. We have in fact the certificates of such an austere rishi as Janaka, such a heartless rakshasa as Mareecha, such a rigid Jitendria as Hanuman and such as sexless sage as Suka-that He the Manmatha of Manmathas used to shed lustre wherever He went and to adorn and transform into a shining place of beauty the most prosaic towns, forests, hills and riversides. It was our great truth and appropriatenesss contained in the lavish descriptions one comes across in

the ancient works of religious art such as the Srimad Ramayanam and the Srimad Bhagavatam.

How can I do justice to the thoughts that well up in my mind even now as I go back to that blissful day and recollect the position of the procession just halfway up the Hill? At that spot the whole landscape completely unfurls itself to your view and when your eyes travel from the distant horizon slowly through the expanse of sand bisected by a narrow sheet of water glistening in the sun. through the concourse of people drawn up behind the Dandigai from whose depths are wafted up to you the sweet chanting of the Scriptures, to the cynosure of all eyes, seated or rather reclining in the Dandigai, you are sure to feel transported into some region never before visited by you. But in truth you will not have eyes for all that. The ravishing God of your heart would dance before your eyes here, there and everywhere, with His shining Savaripagai, bewitching Face, respleudent Sankha and Chakra, scintillating myriads of jewels and the sweet little Lotus Feet softly reclining against the cushion-like Diwan behind. If you are an artist you can admire such unparallelled beauty; if you are a philospher you can speculate upon the meaning of such ethereal manifestations; if you are a mystic you can love and feel how well you are loved by that Fountain of Love and Beauty; even if you are an atheist you wil be struck with the manifestation of something above human, - that unspeakable something, which you seee but cannot explain awat, worrying you innermost himd all the shile. It is a dharsan that heals all sores, quells all doubts, solves all problems, stills all disputation, and fills all hearts: a Dharsan that stifles the agnostic, awes the atheist, satisfies the philosopher, and infatuates the mystic.

Before our eyes could gather in a fraction of that splendid Light we had reached the summit of the Hill whereon was the Mantapam in which He was to stay that day. After He was safely lodged in the Mantapam we most reluctantly tore ourselves away from His presence and came outside the curtain. There we prostracted deeply grateful for the immense grace with which He had bestowed upon us that day the great boon of being in His company for a while and gazing the vision of His ecstatic Beauty. Then with an anjali lifted towards His permanent Abode-Hasthigiri-which loomed on the the western horizon and after pradakshinams round the Mantapam we decended the Hill, feeling at every step the differene between the elevating and heart-filling ascent a few minutes before and the depressing and disheartening decent now. But the freshness had not faded from the vision which had lodged itself in our hearts and drawing from it both enjoyment and consolation and looking out on the landscape down below we soon reached the foot of the Hill.

A short Interval

The cool waters of the stream in the mid-Palar invited us to take a second plunge. The sun had by now dispelled not only the darkness of the night but also the extreme chill of the early morning hours and basking in its warmth we bathed in the cool water.

To appease the hunger of the stomach for the day was an easy task with so many kind and generous-hearted friends who pressed us to partake to the distribution of food they has lavishly arranged for the benefit and comfort of the thronging pilgrims. And as soon as that was over we ascended the hill once again to refresh the soul by renewed contact with the Beautiful God present there. After more than two hours of separation from His immediate presence the longing to be back again before Him and to get as much as possible out of that blessed day, made the ascent easy in spite of the hot sun glowing above our heads. Already a regular stream of worshippers had begun ascending the hill for His Dharsan and mixing with them we also got up Midday Bloom We thought we knew the God we had seen in the morning and thought too that we knew what to expect to see of Him again. But our first glimpse of Him now set all our erstwhile thoughts at naught. For before our eyes now stood-the same Lord, it is true, but how different! Almost another divine on rush of beauty and bloom. overwhelmed us. If it was the soft flowering freshness of a morning lotus earlier in the day, it was now the stately bloom of full-blown rose wafting beauty and fragrance all round. And as if to signify this He wore a garland of roses on His shoulder betwixt His Sankha and Chakra. Human vocabulary was ever known to be insufficient and inefficient to describe divine beauty. But I never before fully comprehended this inherent weakness of words. For, before my eyes stood a something which defied description and challenged all attempt at analysis. The more I looked on and on the more of conviction gathered in my mind about the

great

truth

residing

in

the

statement

of

Nammalvar

"

". Human words well up in human

hearts and uttered by human tongues rise proudly to reach the divine object which they are intended to describe; but the moment they get near they feel utterly unequal and fall down humbled, and collapse into nothingness. To attempt to describe in words the indescribable beauty which probably the mind can enjoy the heart can revel in, but the tongue can never utter, is to cast a slur on the self-same beauty which it is sought to praise. This is indeed a region where praise ends in dispraise, and nonpraise is the highest possible praise. ,

There are no known values in the light of which we can appraise this sublimity; and where we cant appraise it behoves us not to praise. The seat was changed. The dress was changed. He no longer occupied the Dandigai but now adorned the Mangalagiri; and in place of the Savaripagai He had now a Chikku-thadu, and a superb veshti in lieu of the velvet angi of the morning. The jewels on His person were the same. But the facial expression was different. The mornings vision was for the yogi, subdued and sedate. The present vision was for the Bhogis, the men of the world to take in whom He had put on stateliness and splendour. He was now standing on the pinnacle of the Hill, not as a mere God evoking worship and reverence, but as a King commanding admiration and obedience. He was now a Sovereign seated on His throne affording facilities for the kings of different and distant lands to pay their tribute and obeisance at his Feet.

As the afternoon grew the festival got into full swing, with the surging crowd of devotees and worshippers thronging His presence, each with his humble offering. The sun was sailing towards the western horizon: the wind was getting chiller: the hearts of the people there were however glad and joyous: for they were all there in the company of their Beloved, breathing the same air as He and looking on Him with feelings of adoration and love. The lords Lotus-like Feet resting on the Adharapadma which seemed to have blosssomed out of the Feet promised succour to all who sought it there. The benign right hand lifted up in Abhaya Mudra carried courage and conviction to many a heart seized with the panic and fear of samsara. The beaming countenance lit by the lustre of the lotus eyes and the sweetness of the smile lurking in the corners of the lotus mouth and the dimpled chin, bid welcome and benediction to all who mustered there. Mingling in Himself all the elements of Sovereignty and the essentials of Divinity, standing erect in all the pinnacle of His glory as the sat without a second, dwelling beyond and behind all men and things, transcendent yet immanent, the inner ruler immortal of all worlds created and eternal, His beauty emerging from His ecstatic figure and reflected in every heart of the assembled devotees, there stood the Lord of Varanasila on the hill of Seevaram proving the inherent truth and undeniable sagacity of the Saguna texts of the Srutis and suggesting the correct meaning to be attached to the Nirguna texts which when taken literally seem to put Him down as the formless, unknowable and unseeable. The feelings aroused by this single Figure in the several worshippers fondly gathered around Him were of

course diverse. Some there were who in the fulness of their joy burst into pasurams or slokas. Otheres there were shedding silent tears welling up from their inner anubhava(enjoyment) too deep for words. Yet others were attempting to describe to one another the perfection and the symmetry and the pose of the Lord who stood towering above all, though thin and fragile in Himself. Some expatiated on the paratva or unapprochable grandeur-so near at hand and yet so far away from human grasp. Some dwelt glowingly on His saulabhya (easy approachability) which renders the invisible visible and the unapproachable easy of approach. Others praised His lofty audarya or liberality which made Him mix so freely and on such easy terms with the lowliest of the low. Another set of persons were trying to choose the fittest analogies respectively for the glory of the head-dress, the composure of the countenance, the grandeur of the uplifted chest-fond seat of the Divine Consort,-the prominence of the full-sized Sankha and Chakra, the incomparable grace of the boon-bestowing abhaya hasta, and the beautifully poised gada Hasta, the resplendence of the shining myriads of jewels, the neatness and contour of the white veshti that adorned His waist, and the all-surpassing sweetness of the even little Feet adorned by tiny anklets of gold. The noise and din created by these devotees and the other votaries and worshippers who were not so God-intoxicated as to forget the daily amenities of life and began noisily to enquire after one another, soon became immense till they were drowned by the still louder strains of music that arose from the instrument of the temple-piper which heralded thereby the beginning of the evening festival. Towards Evening There was another

metamorphosis in the Lord of ever-changing and ever fresh beauty. While only a single rose garland bedecked His Person during the whole afternoon, He now began to put on flowers in large quantities and different varieties as a prelude to His descending the Hill. With each saram He began to swell in size and splendour. Each stage was marked by the symmetry and charm so peculiar to this God of Beauty. When finally the big garland was placed on the shoulders, it was found that as vamana had grown into trivikrama in days of yore, the fragile ivy-like personality had grown and grown till it had filled the entire Mangalagiri. It was then while looking on at this gradual transformation, each stage in the course of which stood out full and perfect in itself, that I was forcibly reminded of the meaning underlying Sri Vedanta Desikas very forceful expression ." Arulala Himself is not equal to

Himself. It was this vision that in a few minutes stood at the topmost step of the Hill facing the setting sun who suffused his Lord with yellow glory and listening to the strains of the Divyaprabandha. Here again was another moment when words fail to do justice to the sight that meets the eye. The various assortments and colours of the flowers that adorned Him caught the dancing rays of the Sun and threw them back at the worshippers eye. Added to this the shining splendour of the Deity itself bathed in the yellow light simply dumbfounded the onlookers. As if to mark off the Mangalagiri and its fair Occupant two spotlessly white and wide umbrellas waved over Him like to two big white clouds on the crest of a Hill. It was a Hill on a hill. The Lord, grand and dignified as He stood on the topmost step from where

He could be seen for miles all round blessing all nature, animate and inanimate, towered like a peak and inspired at once awe and love in the hearts of the assembled worshippers. It was a blessed and supreme moment in my life. As a premier Thing of Beauty that vision lingers with me as a joy for ever and ever. By this time the crowd had become enormous. The top of the hill looked like a huge lake of heads flowing down the hill in a torrent of heads,-all the steps and the adjacent boulders being full of men and women watching the passing down of the mighty procession. Slowly the descent began. The Sri Padamthangis descended carefully taking the greatest care to see that the inclination did not in any way tilt the level of the Lord. Thus majestically like a ship gracefully sailing down, the Lord descended and soon reached the four-pillared Mantapam opposite the local shrine almost at the foot of the hill. The next stage in this festival of mighty moments was when Lord sailed majestically through the crowd of men and women worshippers from the four-pillared Mantapam into the small temple of the local Deity Sri Narasimha who came out to welcome the God of Gods that Sri Varada is. One the entire southern side the place, now level, was packed with ladies dressed as usual in their best and brightest as the occasion demanded, on the north the place was occupied by men in a thick crowd. From either side were lifted up thousand of hands in Anjali(clasped hands) attitude signifying the homage paid by the possessor of each pair of them to Him their transcendent Lord who was passing in their midst like some personification of beauty, seizing anRAnpoold taking possession of his or her heart. The divine poet Kambar

sings about the appropriateness of the name of Kannan applied to the Lord, as He is reflected in the eyes of those that assemble to look on Him. --

, . The

aptness of that description at this moment was indeed very striking. There He stood before the several pairs of eyes, the one Lakshya or target for all their visions. He who gave those eyes the light to see now stood opposite them as the one object of sight for them to see. Verily those gathered there that evening realized the full benefit of possessing sightful eyes, for they saw that by seeing which, as Sri Rukmini points out in her immortal Sloka, the eyes derive the supremest bliss of all, ( ) on seeing which as Sri Nigamanta Maha Desika points out all other pleasures dwindle into nothingness. * * * * * * * * * * *

Like Sri Andals lion waking from its sleep and striding out roaring from its mountain cave(Tiruppavai 23) the Lord soon issued out of the temple where He was for a few minutes the Guest of Sri Narasimha whose home it was. Again He passed through that concourse of men and women, and I was then reminded of Lila Sukas apt description of the Beauriful Lord as or Personification of the Damselss Good Deeds. In fact the whole sloka : (Sri Krishnakarnamrita) was perfectly suited to describe in a nutshell the entire days festival and the several important beauty spots in

the course of it. It was or Treasure of Beauty yet undiscovered when in the early hours of the morning He was seen by us completely covered up giving a foretaste of His ravishing beauty only through His countenance, a splendid foretaste of the splendour that was to be. When at the foot of the Hill He discovered and disclosed Himself in all His beauty it was or the Abode of the marvellous in all the worlds. On the Mangalagiri in the Mantapam He shone as the true abiding Source and Residence of all radiant splendours( ) and proved to be the veritable essence of the highest Mokshananda or the Bliss of the celestials(: ), While standing on the topmost step of the Hill suffused by the golden rays of the setting sun He was the quintessence of Nectar or Ambrosia( )emitting love and life into every heart. And while riding through the eyes and hearts of so many faireyed damsels, to use Kambars expression, He stood out as what may be described as the very incarnation of their greatest good fortune. To anticipate a bit, He was going to be or the store-house of all auspiciousness when He would stand in the mid-palar surrounded by four other Gods and hosts of devoted worshippers who adhered to Him as the one hope for dispelling their sins and sorrows and bestowing on them lasting good. Lastly when He would be starting on His return journey in the Dhandigai once again, to the gifted followers He would be

or the First and Highest God of the Truly Learned. Now whenever this sloka of Lila Suka comes to my mind the entire panorama of this days festival passes through my mental vision glad-dening every pore and cell in

my unfeeling self. Across the River When the Lord reached the very foot of the Hill and set out towards the river, the festival was practically over and with it the day. Darkness was quickly setting in along with the attendant chill atmosphere. It was no more a festival in which the old or the flippanthearted could participate. They had to bid good-bye to Him there and seek each his or her own way. But even without them there were some hundreds who had the bodily grit and the mental will and the hearty love to follow Him further. And with this retinue He soon emerged into the open sandy expanse of the Palar. Here was re-enacted the Rasa-krida which formerly took place on the banks of the Jumna. The tall towering figure of the Flower-clad Lord was majestically moving towards mid-river mutely followed by resolute and love fed men and women whom the chillest winds could not discourage or the call of the home or duty deter. Like the Gopis of yore who, entranced by the sweet note of the flute played by the bewitching Sri Krishna, sought Him out on the sands of the Jumna and surrounded Him with protestations of never-changing love and desire towards Him, these men and women felt drawn and attracted by His Beautiful Personality and charm and followed Him, they cared not where. They went on and on, breasting the chill gale and wading in thigh-deep water in some places, till at last on the other side of the river three more Gods arrested the procession by the beaming welcome. It is said to be sacred spot where three rivers meet-another Triveni, and here was a meeting of Five Gods or rather Four Gods come to do honour to the one God of Gods. There was a pause while the five Gods conferred as it were and thereafter the

procession was resumed. Leading this now Godly as well as human retinue, the Lord in whose honour the festival was taking place came back into the river and rested underneath a pandal improvised for the occasion in the mid-river. Here He was to change into His Dandigai to resume His return journey home. The four other Gods camped too by His side under the protection of their own umbrellas. The Parting in the Palar The time for parting was drawing near. In a few minutes the Lord who had gladdened all the senses of His devoted worshippers for one whole day would have started out on his return journey to His Varanasila. Already indications were not wanting that everything was ready and that any moment the Tiruchinnam would sound, -not the Vandar tune on which Sri Vedanta Desika gloats through a whole series of stanzas,-but the tune which would indicate to our ear the departure of the Lord from our midst. With these thoughts the erstwhile gladdened mind began to sink within us. It was as if all joy was going to be wiped out from our life. The body which till now did not mind the chill breeze sweeping over the sandy expanse of the Palar on a winter night began to shiver with cold. The warmth of His presence and the exhilaration of spirit due to the nearness to the Lord of our hearts were slowly disappearing leaving us at the mercy of the double chilling atmosphere-the thought of separation chilling the interior and the biting blast chilling our exterior. The other Gods who had assembled there began to start off to their respective temples followed by their retinue or such of those as had not transferred their hearts from them to the central God. A good portion of the crowd assembled round the main Pandal also began to

wend their way towards the village fearing that after all the lights and torches had gone it would be an impossible task to pick their way through the darkness. But some there were who thought more of the other Light that was going shortly to disappear and thought more of the internal darkness that was going to set in. They decided not to leave the place but to stick to it as long as they could. We were among them. On the one hand we did not belong to the fortunate few who would have the strength of body and the firmness of devotion to follow Him through all the rugged and darkened paths of several villages ere He reached His abode. On the other hand we found it impossible to tear ourselves away so soon from Him for fear of not being able to see the path before us some time later. While our minds were thinking in this strain the curtain fell and indicated to us the fact that the Lord was ready to bid good-bye to us. We rushed to the front of the Dandigai though not with the same fullness of heart as when we rushed forward to it some sixteen hours before when we welcomed Him. And there in the semi darkness illuminated only by the couple of hand-torches and between the folds of shining Kashmir Shawl we beheld the Sweet Form-not in all its full and complete glory as during the hours past, not with the myriads of jewels dazzling the eye at every turn but with the beaming countenance alone peering at us from between the Savaripagai at the top and the Kashmir Shawl on the other sides. Once more He had concealed Himself under the pretext of protecting His Body from the chill of the season in the course of His long journey which lay ahead. Once more He afforded to us another chance of gazing undistracted at His Face alone.

True it was the same Dharsan as in the early hours of the previous morning But what a difference? Then it was welcome, now adieu. This self-same Face which had beamed welcome then now was bidding adieu. The eyes which then danced with mirth now shone with serenity. If the smile then was inscrutable sweet, it was now sadly bewitching. To the mind which recalled at a stretch the anubhava of the whole day it was the deepest agony. We knew not what to do. Over and over again we prostated before Him beseeching Him not to regard it as a single days show but to make it an eternal Anugraham(Favour). In answer to the adieus so sweetly escaping from those eyes and those lips, what could we say except blurt out like Yudhisthira of old indicating in one breath our longing to meet Him again and our prayer to be remembered by Him with love in the interim. Again and again in the words of Tirumalisai Alvar we cried out at this moment of parting.

, ;

. (Tiruchandaviruttam 101)

For unless He willed, where was the chance of our remembering anything of what we had seen or felt that day? In all jumility we reminded Him that our only gope and succour lay in His sankalpa. As we looked back upon the Anubhava(enjoyment) of that day that upon the several sevas and dharsanas which we had the great good fortune of obtaining from the time we set our eyes on Him, upon the resplendent beauty of the Lord while ascending the Hill, upon the incomparably noble grandeur with which He

stood on the crest of the Hill noon-time fully disclosing His Anga Prathyanga soushtavam (Elegance of each and every part of the body) His shining Thiruvabharanas (ornaments) and His unique Sankha Chakra, upon the fulness of His Figure after He wore the Flowers, upon His dazzling splendour as He stood on the topmost step facing the sinking sun and challenging Him to match him in light or lustre, and upn the scene at Tirumukkudal where He demonstrated the appropriateness of the epithet as applied to Him, as our minds reflected upon these several ecstasies vouchsafed to us during the preceding day they were convulsed by the fear that all of them were going to slip away from our memory like pleasant dreams and in the agony caused by that very idea we cried out in the language of the Saint of Kurugur(Nammalvar)

(Tiruvaimozhi IX, viii 8) Whether He

had made up His mind to grant those boons to us or not remained to be seen : but there was nothing in His Face to show then that He had or had not. He simply continued to smile at us and our mental state. At this stage the Tiruchinnam sounded the note of impending departure. All was bustle in a moment. The fortunate few who were to accompany Him consisting of the Kainkaryaparas (temple servants) and the Veda-parayana svamis became alert and took their stand at the various posts of service. The few torches which were to light His way were lighted and were casting their feeble light on the surroundings. The palaquin-bearers had approached the Dandigai. Once again we peered at the divine rapturous Face which had gladdened our vision for a whole day, and in reply to His bewitching smile

of farewell we sobbed back our adieus, our Pallandus and our Jaya Vijayee Bhavas. While we were casting our lingering eyes over that fair vision of the sweet Face and taking a long long look at it, the Dandigai was suddenly lifted and the journey was begun. The torches having gone ahead, the shawls and the surrounding darkness completely enshrouded our Lords Face and Form. Already we heard the sweer rhythm of the Veda Mantras their recitation having been begun behind. With the first touch of Divine Burden on their shoulders the Sri Bharam Thangis partly with the thrill of the touch and partly in order to bring warmth to their stiffened limbs started on a run. Though a moment before we had felt that we had not really had the last glance. And for that we ran up, and amidst the glittering rays of the feeble torches tried hard to obtain a moment when the Face would be lit up by them though for a fleeting moment. We had to run a good deal with our bodies bent and eyes peering between the folds of the shawl. At last we were rewarded when an erratic ray of light from a torch alighted on the Face and succeeded in disclosing to our eager eyes the contour of that divine Face with its shining Savaripagai, its serene and gracious look, its sweet dimpled cheeks and chin, it bold outstanding nose and its superbly smiling lips. And that was our very last glance and His very last Kataksha(Gracious look) for that day. Not that we were satisfied with it. But we were afraid that with Him there was no possibility of satisfaction and fearing that an attempt to snatch another glance at Him would lure us away possibly some furlongs we made up our reluctant minds and stopped, leaving Him to pass on carrying everything of us with Him except our

bodies. From where we stood we saw, as far as it was possible to see with eyes from which was flowing a torrent of blinding tears, the Dandigai passing by, and then the Vedaparayana goshti and then a few bhaktas who had resolved to accompany Him. Soon the distance between us and the procession increrased. The torch lights dwindled into mere specks of light; the beat-beat of the familiar drum became muffled with distance, and the vedic chanting too reached us only in soft whispers from afar. And yet we were unable to stir or move. The eyes had got glued in that direction and like Dasarathas the light thereof had not returned to them. Our bodies had been deprived of feeling since the atmas(souls) inhabiting them had accompanied Him on anuyatra (traveling together). Like the Gopis who stood on the streets of Gokula staring with sightless eyes behind the car diminishing in the distance and bearing their Sri Krishna away from them, like those gopies who stood. :

: like the dwellers of Ayodhya who felt it impossible to draw back their minds or even their eyes from the direction taken by Sri Rama. : : like them though in a much smaller degree we

too felt at that moment. The only thing we were sure of at that moment was that. He had taken away with Him all that was worth taking away in usin the words of Mangai Mannan(Tirumangai Alvar). " ........." ( ) At

such a huge loss the eyes were weeping tears and those tears if analysed

would have shown in their composition despair, regret and sorrow at having been suddenly depprived of the greatest pleasure that has been given to man here below to enjoy,--despair t the loss, regret at the inability to follow Him, and sorrow at the thought that the vision was sure to melt away. All our sorrows and our reflections had no effect upon His onward march. Slowly the sounds had completely merged into the silent symphony of the chill breeze that was freezing our very blood as we were standing there. And in a quarter of an hour even the lights which kept on dancing in the distance like glow-worms slowly disappeared from view. So that when our senses returned to us after a while rousing us as from sleep, our eyes encountered the vast expanse of sand on all sides enshrouded in impenetrable darkness quite in keeping with the gloom which had set in our minds. And these minds were quite softly and half unconsciously whispering the lines of the Alwar Nayaki who after a full days pulavi with Nayaka of her heart finds suddenly tht He has left her to sing the following Gitam(Song):- , 24) ) (

." (