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Tableeghis Stole My Friend By Orr Ali October 30, 2011 The Tableeghis taught my friend that I was a battleground

who could be either wo n or lost. A July afternoon makes an Edward the vampire out of everyone; only we dont grow a ny fairer. I hate sunburns so I spend it in my bedroom reading Tolstoy or watchi ng The Big Bang Theory. One wouldnt like reading too much of Tolstoy on a steamy day so more often than not I am in front of the computer table watching the sit com. Last year on such days, Abdul, my neighbour and former friend, would also join m e. His dial-up connection had little respect for his time and high-definition vi deos. And he returned in the same coin by spending more time with me. At my plac e, almost every other day we had a chess match and the winner won a free Gold Le af and a Fresher grape juice (grape because, as Abdul famously said: Is may khumaar hai. (This has passion). None of us knew what this line exactly meant, it just sounded very controversial . Both of us enjoyed watching our victories turn into wisps of smoke, but for Ab dul, excuse my modesty, it was always a vicarious pleasure. I am a little hazy on the details but it was a week or two after Dr Israr Ahmads death that Abdul began diversifying his interests. The man, who even at a sorry speed of 33 kbps would daily check Guccis tweets, became suddenly fascinated by w hite quarter-shorts and baggy shirts. Initially, I thought it was because he had become conscious of his conspicuous rib cage and skinny legs. But then I wasnt a ny healthier, either. It wasnt long before he went bald and began donning a baseball cap. What should h ave I thought? Quarter-shorts, baggy shirt, baseball cap, dark complexion and a lanky figure all I thought was: what a shame he cant rap! But rap he did. He rapp ed me for watching na-mehram women (Penny from The Big Bang Theory?), rapped me for reading fiction instead of Holy Quran, rapped me for not bringing my life to standstill in respect of the Azaan, rapped me for wasting hours on shatranj, ra pped me for not covering my sattar (shorts?), rapped me for smoking, rapped me f or drinking grape juice and rapped me for the sake of rapping. Now thats a little too much of rapping. Once his lectures became a routine, I realized his new clothes didnt suit him. He too realized that. Soon, white Kurta, Shalwar and Salaat cap replaced his old c lothes. As I began taking stock of the situation, Abdul became more aggressive. Most Tableeghis take the silence of their victims as their victory. Its like someho w they have brought such indisputable arguments into the debate that no man can reason against them. Abdul thought so too. Arguing with Abdul invariably sent in my direction, accusations of being a Murtid (apostate) and a Dehriya (heretic). Though it was a lost cause from the beginning, I didnt lose hope until I saw him in a white turban, ankle-high Shalwar and stubble. That was the moment I lost m y friend to onion domes and mushroom minarets. Abdul had come to understand that no man was just flesh and bones. Each one of s was a pawn in the fight between good and evil. We werent capable of growing o decent men on our own. Everything was a farce; everything was a lie- reality ad to be caged inside the super-reality that only one ant-hill possessed. If u int h someo

ne refused to leave his refuge and join them, he was lost; left in the black hol e of spirituality, as the rest floated through the dark matter to immortality. Y es, Tableeghis stole my friend. They taught him that I was a battleground who co uld be either won or lost, but certainly not befriended. He wasnt Abdul, just became one. The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily ref lect the views and policies of The Express Tribune. Source: The Tribune URL:

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COMMENTS 11/2/2011 7:48:18 AM Aiman Reyaz This article made me smile as well as think. The "rapping" part was the fun part of this article but then I also realised that the "rapping" part was the pun pa rt too. Allah says in the Quran, do not commit excess in religion , follow the middle path , do not transgress the limit etc. When Allah says DO NOT EXCEED, clearly and boldly, then I am not sure why do these orthodox go against the Qur an, may be because they are orthodox and want to do something extra and somethin g spectacular.

11/1/2011 2:19:57 PM Ghulam Mohiyuddin Tableeghis are a threat to our young who need to be taught the proper place of r eligion in a person s life. Being obsessed with religion is not true Islam. Seve ral promising young men have been ruined because of Tableeghi brain washing.