Discover you Magnificence.

I just want to give you a bit of homework. Actually it's not homework, it's more like selfwork or play work... Well I can only suggest, it's up to you to do whatever you want with it... I just know that if you do the work, you'll get valuable insights and that potentially life changing. It's your call... Why because I sincerely believe that: The quality of your life is determined by the quality of the questions you ask yourself and the actions you take So let's get into it... I personally think that life is simple and I can sum it up as: Know thyself, be thyself, Love thyself - The Delphic Oracle. So the first thing is to know who you really are? Not who you pretend to be, or who you think your might be. Also you past experiences do not define you, you are always in constant evolution, and thus evolve consciously.... Whatever you've done in the past, or will do in the future, is your choice... but know that: No matter what you've done or not done, you're worthy of love, from yourself first, and from others

Know thyself
Have you ever asked yourself: Who am I ? To first understand who you are, you need to discover what is your identity, what drives your life.

If you know who you are, ten what you want tnds t show up.

The more you know about yourself, the more you will learn from yourself and your experiences, and the more you can reduce the feeling of uncertainty in your life. Knowing yourself means finding, acknowledging and accepting your values, whatever 1

they may be. So what are values? Any idea? Well, values can mean many things 1. The first that comes to mind is that values represent a collection of guiding, usually positive principles; what one deems to be correct and desirable in life, especially regarding personal conduct. Types of values include ethical/moral values, doctrinal/ideological [political, religious] values, social values, and aesthetic values. Value is a concept that describes the beliefs of an individual or culture. Values are considered subjective and vary across people and cultures. 2. Another definition of value is what is really important to an individual. Personal, or core values evolve from circumstances with the external world, can change over time, and are implicitly related to choice. They guide every decision we make in our lives. Core values are not universal, our genetics, up-bringing and family, culture, nation and historical environment contribute in defining our core values. Each individual possess a unique conception of them, a personal knowledge of the appropriate values for their own genes, feelings and experience. Values are like an evaluation filter, interpreting what is important to you and what makes you feel good. Values drive your behaviour and can either motivate you or demotivate you. They also affect your choice of friends, hobbies, interests, and how you spend your time.

Your values dictat your destny. - Dr. John Demartini

So How do I find my values? Your values will tend to express themselves in some or all seven areas of your life: spiritual, mental, vocational, financial, familial, social and physical. Sometimes, people allow their fears to keep them from living according to their values, and this can cause stress, anxiety and a sense of emptiness or uncertainty. But, remember, that even in that case, the values are still running the show... For example, you always choose to piss off the person who supports your values less! Let's talk about how you can determine your own values which will give you greater clarity on your life and open up greater possibilities for the future, and minimise your feeling of uncertainty... and of course your anxiety and stress levels!

More important tan te quest for certaint is te quest for clarit.

Francois Gautier

Below, I'm going to give a method to determine your own directional values [not someone else, YOUR OWN]. Your directional values are: Unique to you as an individual Your highest priorities Your personal code of conduct The perspective from which you view life The building blocks to your vision and purpose

First, I just want to warn you that if you play 100% and answer these 12 questions truthfully, you will discover your own values. You may be surprised... and possibly discover that some of your values are not what you thought or wish they were... And that's perfectly OK! It's not good or bad, it's just what they are, and everybody has a different set of values. Just record the dominant three or four answers for each question, and as you look at your answers, notice the underlying pattern.

Your values are a reflection of your life and therefore a reflection of yourself...
Once again, just play full out!

TIP... Sometimes it's best to answer based on the first thing

that comes into your mind as often it's the right thing for you, and the truth! So juts write down for each question, the 3 things (only 3) that are the most reflecting your life..
1. How do I fill my space [office, home, car]? Whatever is prevalent in your living, working, and recreational spaces will give your first clue. ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________

2. How do I spend my time? Where do you spend most of your waking hours during the day? ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________

3. How do I spend my energy? Where do you love to spend most of your energy? For what actions do you have the most energy? ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ 4. How do I spend my money? Where do you spend most of your money? What do you buy most? How do you use money in your life? ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ 5. Where am I most organised?

and chaos equals low value. _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________

6. Where am I most disciplined? Where are you constantly focused and disciplined? ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ 7. What do I think about most? What do you think about when you have time, when you drive?

Order equals high value,

As a man tinket in his heart, so is he.

- The Bible

_________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________

8. What do I visualise?

What do you imagine for yourself? What is your vision for your life? Your future? What do you daydream about? ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________

9. What do I talk to myself about? What is your internal dialogue, your self-talk? ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ 10. What do I talk with others about? When you meet someone new, what do you chat about? When you're with old friends, what do you talk about? ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ 11. What do I react to? What grabs your attention? What makes you smile and frown? ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ 12. What are my goals? Simply consider what you would most like to do, be or have in your life, and which of those are you actively moving toward. ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________

Ok, all done congratulations!

Notice that you may find the same value several times across the 12 questions. Thats OK! It just means that this value is particularly important to you and high on your value list because it appears multiple times. The next step is now to rank your values. The one that comes the most often will be on the top of your list, and so on... After that make a list of your top 10 values.

That's it, easy isnt it? You are almost done!

You now have a list of your top 10 values ranked in order of highest value, then second, then third, and so on. Just write them down below. You could do this exercise with friends or members of your family and all discover your values together. Its a fun game to play and I guarantee it will bring you clarity on what is going on in your life and around you.

My Governing Values
1. ______________________ 2. ______________________ 3. ______________________ 4. ______________________ 5. ______________________ 6. ______________________ 7. ______________________ 8. ______________________ 9. ______________________ 10. ______________________

Congratulations, you have now discovered YOUR governing values!

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tny maters compared t what lies witin us.

- Olivier Wendell Holmes

Your value list is an ongoing process, it changes over time, it's not static, so once in a while when you feel that something is changing, go back to the process, answer the questions and see how your value evolve. So now you know your values, that should give you a pretty good idea of who you are, and also what is important to you, what really matters in your life. I bet it will also give you some clarity on why you are where you are now? Because where you are now is the result of the sum total of the conscious and unconscious decisions you've made so far.

You are tday where your toughts have brought you, youl be tmorrow where your toughts wil take you.

- James Allen

Love Yourself?
Another important things is to recognise where you are successful in your life? Because you are! And don't say not that you're not! Ask yourself: Where am I successful in my life? I want you to list down everything that comes to mind, check your life, scan back your life and find where you are successful... This is extremely important, to discover you gifts, talents, treasures and really start loving yourself. Think about all seven areas of life: - Mental, Family/relationship, Vocational, Financial, Social, Physical, Spiritual Do this exercise for each are of your life What do I most like in myself Benefits 1 2 3 4 5 6 I want you to answer line by line, fill up all the columns and do that for at least 20 lines. Drawbacks What do I most dislike in myself Benefits Drawbacks

What I want to change in myself Benefits 1 2 3 4 5 6 Drawbacks

What I don't want to change in myself Benefits Drawbacks

I want you to answer line by line, fill up all the columns and do that for at least 20 lines.

Do what you love and love what you do

The next thing is determining where you want to go. Take a moment, while you're alone, and think about: Write as much as you can, just write freely, let it flow, this is important for all the exercises... no taboo, no boundaries, just whatever comes to mind first... do that for the rest of the exercises... 1. Who would I love to be? 2. What would I love to do in life? What would I love to achieve in my life time? 3. What would I love to do? 4. What are my goals? 5. What is you mission, your vision? 6. What would you like your obituary to be if you can write it? What would you love to have contributed to this world in your lifetime? Who would you love to be seen for or remembered for? Writing your obituary is a powerful experience, as it give you the purpose of your life. Similar to your mission statement, this gives your certainty about what you want to be, do and have in your life. Whatever it may be, no one can judge that, it's your , its' personal and unique. So please do it for yourself, not for you parents, family or friends... Don't lie to yourself, juste express what you really, really, really, want to be, do and have, and write it down. The next step is to determine what are the things that prevent you to love yourself and do what you love. Answer these questions: what are my fears, shame and guilts? We all have some, no matter where you are in your life and at whatever level (of awareness and consciousness) you are... 1. 2. 3. What are my fears? What I feel guilty about myself? Where do I have shame? 8

As humans, we are equipped to handle hardship or bad news. Whether it is the death of a loved one or being rejected outright by a partner, we have what it takes to handle adversity. It may not be easy; it may even be an extremely bitter pill to swallow, but as a species, we can do it. We are built to work through hardship. But there is one catch to our fortitude: namely, that our adversity has clarity. What we are unable to handle well as a species is uncertainty. Maybe my boss doesn't like me... he is always looking weird when he sees me... will I be fired? What if person x doesn't like me, then is my career over? Or What will the future hold for me if I have no plan? Or, what if the pain in my thigh is something medically very serious?

It is sometimes easier to handle clear bad news than the uncertainty that precedes the bad news.
I believe that a great deal of anxiety comes from our own uncertainty about how we are going to handle any imminent hardships, choices, or decisions in our lives. Don't forget that choice, whether large or small, always introduces some element of uncertainty and can lead to anxiety. Uncertainty can affect every aspect of our lives, by that I mean the 7 areas of life. Mental Physical Familial Social Financial Vocational Spiritually

So... Is life complicated? Well yes and no. There are many complex issues that we all face during our life, but we can always make the choices to take us where we want to be. Sure, no one can predict the future, but no one can deny the importance of the choices we make today in how things will play out tomorrow.

Your success depends on te choices you make tday, not tmorrow.

- Robert Kiyosaki
When you meet a challenging situation, three things happen rapidly: the event itself, your perception of it, and the body's response to the perception of the event.

Choice is the ability and willingness to respond in different ways.

As I said before, no one can predict the future, but no one can deny the importance of the choices we make today in how things will play out tomorrow.

When you have t make a choice and dont make it, tat is in itself a choice. Life is a sum of al your choices.
- Albert So the question to ask yourself is: What uncertainties do I really fear?

- William James Camus

Fears
Now, below is a list of some of most common unreal fears. If you look carefully at these fears you will recognise that these correspond to the 7 areas of our life, namely mental, vocational, financial, familial, social, spiritual and physical... Fear of not being intelligent enough or educated enough [mental] Fear of failure in life or business [vocational]. Fear of not making enough money or loosing money [financial]. Fear of loosing loved ones, or significant others, or the respect of loved ones or significant others [familial]. Fear of rejection, humiliation, of loosing friends [social]. Fear of not looking good enough or having the vitality and energy you would like to have, of dying [physical]. Note that the fear of death keeps us safe from taking stupid risks. Fear of breaking the moral or ethics of a certain spiritual authority [spiritual].

Some of these fears may be classified as Social fears. They are part of the culture we live in and are fed by stories we read everyday, in newspapers, magazines and watch on TV. They are mostly unspecific. Social fears generally focus on: Performance Appearance Authority 10

 Achievement Time pressure Threats to national security Fear is not all that bad! Fear is a natural evolutionary process that has kept our species alive so far. So fear has at its basic component a good intention.

All fear is trying to protect us, make us pay attention, alert us to something wrong, or make us analyse the situation.

Where to next Uncertainty...

Now look at where you want to go and check whether your goal is aligned with your values. The next key to understand is a bit of a paradox... It is also about uncertainty, but this time it is about embracing uncertainty... You may say what.... you just said that uncertainty can cause anxiety and now you are telling me that I should embrace uncertainty? Precisely! Let me explain... By determining your values, you will gain clarity on who you are and what is important to you in life. You will also be able to formulate your vision or purpose. Collectively, this will give you some certainty, about yourself, about your vision. You will also be able to define success. What it really means for you, not for the others. Since everybody, has a different model of the world, it's not surprising that they are also likely to have a different definition of success.

If you don't define success yourself, others will be more than happy to define it for you. Whether you like it or not!

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And this is where anxiety, stress and negative emotions come along... Now when I say embrace uncertainty, it just means don't be attached to what might happen in the future, in particular the details. Just surrender to the perfection of the universe. Now when I say embrace uncertainty, it just means don't be attached to what might happen in the future, in particular the details. Just surrender to the perfection of the universe, because when you have a clear vision of what you want and who you are, the universe will conspire to bring you exactly that. No need to get bogged into the details...

Whatver relatonships you have atractd in your life at tis moment, are precisely te ones you need in your life at tis moment. Tere is a hidden meaning behind al events, and tis hidden meaning is serving your own evoluton.

Deepak Chopra

In other words, have certainty on who you are, what you want, and where you want to go, but embrace life as it comes to you. Just to help you out on keeping your focus on your vision, here are some questions you may ask yourself from time to time...

1. 2. 3. 4.

What do I want to be? What do I want to do? What do I want to learn? With whom do I want to spend my time?

Te Mastr lives in te world of tansformaton while oters live in te ilusion of gain and loss. - Dr. John Demartini For everyting you have missed, you have gained someting else, and for everyting you gain, you lose someting else.
The other main thing about uncertainty is change. Uncertainty and Change Everything in life changes, but when the change is gradual we do not notice it. We can often tolerate easily small natural changes [usually + 10%], but when changes are significant and important enough to disturb our routine and habits, we notice and often fear them... 12

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

When change is inevitable or predictable, we usually accept it. When changes are forced upon us, out of our control, or changes we do not want, we then become afraid just by anticipating them. Lets have a quick look at the different types of change and how we handle them. Change without choice Although usually not a problem, they still can be stressful. We judge changes as good or bad in the moment they happen, but we can never really know the truth until afterward, sometimes a long time afterward. Our first reaction to unwelcome change is normally fear and anxiety, because we just have lost something of value and we are not sure if we can find a replacement. Change with choice There are also some changes that we choose, and even though in these cases there is also no guarantee that everything will turn out the way we want, we nevertheless judge them in most cases as good at the time. The changes we choose are always internally driven. The changes that are imposed upon us are usually externally driven. Finally, every one experiences major changes in their life, and our reaction often depends on how we perceive the change. The fear of change is based on losing something [either material things or people] important to us. Habits are related to the fear change, since habits keep our world stable, they take time and effort to build, and they take effort to change. Habits are what make change difficult because they make our life easy, go smoothly in the present. Change always involves becoming aware of our habits, stopping some, and learning new ones to replace them... and therefore, this is why we often feel uncomfortable when change is needed or imminent. Any change challenges us to overcome the fear of the unknown future, to deal with losing something we have, and to change our habits. Any change is a balance between the magnitude of the challenge, and the resources we feel we have to deal with it [Figure 1].

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Figure 1. Dealing with change.

How we perceive change is crucial

Life can eiter be acceptd or changed. If it is not acceptd, it must be changed. If it cannot be changed, ten it must be acceptd.

Be te change you want t see in te world.

- Mahatma Gandhi

Change is te essence of life. Be wiling t surrender what you are for what you could become.

Life is change. Growt is optonal. Choose wisely.

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? Take Home Message

Your values dictate your destiny

Know where you are and what you want by determining your values

If you don't define success, others will define it for you whether you like it or not

Be aware & open to change, that's what life is all about! Your perception of change dictate your success in life

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