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CCC Part 1: Selecting a Communication Goal Take some time to think about challenges you have communicating with

other peopl e. These difficulties may involve strangers and acquaintances, friends, family m embers, or people at school or work. You may identify situations that involve sp ecific individuals or general circumstances. Some examples include having troubl e starting a conversation with someone you have never met, saying "no" when your sister asks to borrow money, or participating in meetings, even when you have a question or contribution to the discussion. 1A. What are your "I can't" communication behaviors? Make a list of 4 8 challenges relating to your interpersonal communication that you feel require attention because you "can't" seem to do these well. Click to hide answer A. I can't ask my friends for favors when I need their help. B. I can't discipline my daughter without becoming angry. C. I can't say "no" when my boss asks me to work overtime. D. I can't address employees directly or clearly when corrective action is needed. E. I can't stop coming across as sarcastic in my conversations with others. F. G. I can't keep my staff focused on the discussion at hand during meetings. I can't accept constructive criticism without becoming defensive. 2 p

When you have completed your list, describe each "I can't" behavior in detail (1 aragraphs each), and provide examples to illustrate why you included each behavi or in this list. Click to hide answer "I can't say no to a family member if he or she asks for my help." Unless I have a really good excuse, I can't say no when a family member asks me to do something. Even though I often feel like I am being taken advantage of, I still feel obligated to help. Our family is very close and we do a lot of things for each other, but my family members tend to ask me to do the things that nobo dy else wants to do or is willing to do. It has become expected that I will do t he things that others will not. Last week, I used a vacation day and cancelled personal plans on two separate da ys to tend to family business. On Tuesday, I took my grandmother to the doctor f or an outpatient surgical procedure because my mother had an important business meeting that day. On Saturday, I cancelled a dinner with old friends to look aft er my three-year-old niece so that my brother and sister-in-law could celebrate their anniversary.

1B. What are your "I won't" communication behaviors? Now read your list of "I can't" communication behaviors aloud and consider each one carefully. Go back and read each behavior aloud again, but this time, substi tute the word "won't" for "can't." ("I won't ask my friends for favors when I ne ed their help.") Be honest with yourself were there behaviors on your list for which the word "won' t" seemed more accurate than the word "can't?" Probably so, because there are ve ry few communication behaviors which people are physically unable to do. "Won't" suggests that an element of choice is involved. Make a list of any statements that you revised to say, "I won't," and describe f or each why it is more accurate than the original "I can't" statements. Eliminat e any "I won't" statements from consideration for this project. 1C. What are your "I don't know how to" communication behaviors? Now go back to your remaining "I can't" communication behaviors and try substitu ting, "I don't know how to" for the words "I can't." Instead of saying, "I can't keep my staff focused on the discussion at hand during meetings," try saying "I

don't know how to keep my staff focused on the discussion at hand during meetin gs." It is important that you not take the phrase "I don't know how to" too literally . You may find that you do know how to do some of the things on your list, but y ou don't know how to change from your existing poor habit to an improved communi cation behavior. Click to hide answer "I don't know how to say no to a family member when they ask for my help" might sound strange to some. Of course you know how, you just say "no." In reality how ever, saying no may not be that easy, it may not be your habit, may not come nat urally, and so forth. In addition, you may not recognize that there is a time fo r "yes" and a time for "no" and part of rectifying this communication behavior i s establishing criteria by which you evaluate the appropriateness of saying yes or no given the circumstances. Then, you develop the necessary skills, language, and so forth to say no effectively. Make a list of any statements you revised to say, "I don't know how to," and des cribe for each why this is more accurate than the original "I can't" statements. If there are any issues that you still feel belong on your "I can't" list, incl ude a narrative to describe why. The "I don't know how to" items on your list are the ones to consider for this p roject. These are the ones you can expect to change by taking this course. Selec t one of these problem areas to work on for the remainder of the course and for the purpose of this report. Describe your process for eliminating additional "I don't know how to" items to narrow your list to the one issue that you finally s elected for the project. 1D. Write a narrative describing how you eliminated those that remained in the " I don't know how to" category to decide on the one issue you selected for your p roject. 1E. Write a clear statement of the communication behavior you will address with this project and the person or people who you will be communicating with for thi s project. For example: "I don't know how to say no when my brother asks to borr ow money." It is critical that you will have interaction with this person or the se people identified in 1E over the next eight weeks. Please see the blue box below for a list of each section that is due for this re port. Please put your name on your paper and label each section clearly.