GAY: WHAT WENT WRONG?

By

JULY ERWANNI BT SAMSUDIN

1.0 INTRODUCTION & DEFINITION

Gay is phrase that pointed to the human that have sexual desirability towards same gender. Gay is used basically to male, and for women, it is called lesbian. The words gay actually mean happy and carefree. In the early 19th century, gay refer to carefree sexual lifestyle, that contrarily to the conventional way. Only the end of the 19th century, gay began to be associated with homosexual among male, and it is widely used by the 20th century.

Nowadays, words gay is not something unusual to hear. But, did you ever wonder why they have an unusually desire, contrary to human nature.

2.0

CAUSES OF GAY LIFESTYLE

Most of the researcher fined gay is determined by environmental causes. But there are studies that linked this gay lifestyle with genetic factors. Do you believe that gay were born with genetics differences?

2.1

GENETICS CAUSES

In scientific term, homosexual is the appropriate words that been given to represent both gay and lesbian. There are lot of biological studies has been conducted to trace if gay and lesbian is causes by genetics. Some of famous studies are:-

2.1.1 y

Simon LeVay (1991) He investigates the difference in hypothalamic structure between heterosexual and homosexual men , and discovered a set of neuron in hypothalamus (INAH3) is two times bigger in straight guy brain than a gay. He concludes that the size of INAH3 is related to sexual activity, but did not confirm that this is cause by genetic. Dr Kenneth Klivington then comment, There is a body of evidence that shows the brains neural networks reconfigure themselves in response to certain experiences. Therefore, the difference in homosexual brain structure may be a result of behavior and environmental conditions.

2.1.2 y

J. Michael Bailey and Richard Pillard (1991) Focus research on the prevalence of homosexuality among biological twins and adopted brothers, and they find half of the sample studies is gay and rise the conclusion it is because of genetic genes. These findings were questioned by biologist, Dr Anne Fausto-Stirling from Brown University that this research overlooks to the twins that being raised separately. And if what they said is true, the finding should be above 80 percent and not only 52 percent. Dr Bailey consent to this statement and feed back with, There must be something in the environment to yield the discordant twins.

Even theres lot of studies to relate homosexual with genetics, none of the researcher cant definitely confirm it even though they did find the differences in genes pattern or sizes. The curiosity is still on and mostly because the researcher is gay, so the needs to find evidence actually are the need to find acceptance. They want everyone to accept, gay is not lifestyle by choice, it is lifestyle by fate. If all of you can accept cripple as a fate, so as gay.

2.2

ENVIROMENTAL CAUSES

Environmental is another reason for the arousal of gay and lesbian sexual desire. Environmental can be from experience in early childhood, victim of sexual exploitation or influences by peers, media and society itself.

2.2.1

PARENTAL RELATIONSHIP

Bonding between parents and their child can be effected mostly because lack of father/mother influence. A single parent who makes negative remark about their ex-spouse, making child have the negative opinion towards the other parents. They end up having different interest in sex life afterwards. In another cases single mother who over defensive and treat their son as a lover also can contribute to the gay pattern. This opinion was supportive by team researcher, Irving Bieber and associates by, Comparison of 106 homosexuals with 100 male heterosexuals showed that mothers of the former had enmeshed seductive type relationships with their sons, while their fathers were detached, distant or rejecting. When the boys grow up, they realize what their mother do is wrong. They hated their mother for her misbehave. Some of them blame themselves for enjoying sex relationship with their mother. For those who cant coop with the truth, cannot forget the past, end up choosing a member of the same sex to fill their sexual desire.

2.2.2 SEXUAL ABUSER

Most of researcher find gay is the result of sexual exploitation in their early childhood. Major contribute of this exploitation sadly was sexual contact with their father or sibling. Some of them were rape victim or molested. For that reason, they choose to have sex with the same gender. One of the popular research finding is by Dr. William C. Holmes, M.D.

and Dr. Gail B. Slap, M.D(1998) as written in health journal JAMA , Adolescent boys, particularly those victimized by males, were up to 7 times more likely to identify themselves as homosexual or bisexual than peers who had not been abused (P<.001).

2.2.3 MODERNISATION INFLUENCE

Since the Stonewall Riot 1969, a demonstration to fight for gay right, many gays has stepped forward expose themselves. Now after more than 40 years, society seems to make peace with gay ideology and find it not to strange. In media, lots of public figure who choose gay lifestyle was not a shocking news anymore and people now days can live with their existence. So lots of people now can easily influence by this lifestyle, maybe at the beginning just want to try it or attracted by their idol.

Based on this research finding, which do you think is the major cause? Along with all finding stated above, theres also a report of gay who seek for therapy can lead a normal sexual life. A study by Robert Goetze (2004) recognized 84 journals or books support the idea that this sexual lifestyle can be change. 31 of them produced a solid data. What can we see here, even with bad experience since early years, or bad parenting, its still their choices. They can make it right, if they want to. Because of the lifestyle they choose, a part of their brain have an impact and that explain the scientific finding. As for the scar they had over molested, its only an obstacle they have to overcome. Luckily, in the modern life, lots of professional help is out there. 2.3 PERSONALITY DISORDER Most of the people do not know the fact that gay was listed in Diagnostic and Statistical Manual. DSM is a guidebook to diagnose psychiatric patient. Homosexuality is stated as sociopath personality disorder in 1952, then again in 1968, as a sexual deviancy. Its been eliminate from the fourth edition due to political interest. Its been condemn by most

scientific society, even Dr. Ronald Bayer express it in Homosexuality and American Psychiatry with, The entire process, from the first confrontation organized by gay demonstrators to the referendum demanded by orthodox psychiatrists, seemed to violate the most basic expectations about how questions of science should be resolved. Instead of being engaged in sober discussion of data, psychiatrists were swept up in a political controversy. The result was not a conclusion based on an approximation of the scientific truth as dictated by reason, but was instead an action demanded by the ideological temper of the times. Now, as the gay population rise, there will a challenge to prove is it homosexual is a member of personality disorder or not. So this issue was left unsettle. But still, have it occur to your mind with their weird interest, is it something wrong?

3.0

RELIGIOUS VIEW OVER GAY

Religion is what we hold on in our entire life. Most of religion as Islam, Christian did not approve of this gay life style and stated it as a sin. Some of the comment in Bible and Quran is listed below;-

3.1 y

QURAN
Verse 80 - 81, Surah Al-Araf(7). And (We sent) Lut when he said to his people:

What! do you commit an indecency which any one in the world has not done before you? Most surely you come to males in lust besides females; nay you are an extravagant people. y Verses 15-16, (4)And as for those who are guilty of an indecency from among your women, call to witnesses against them four (witnesses) from among you; then if they bear witness confine them to the houses until death takes them away or Allah opens some way for them. And as for the two who are guilty of indecency from among you, give them both a punishment; then if they repent and amend, turn aside from them; surely Allah is oft-returning (to mercy), the Merciful.

3.2 y

BIBBLE
Leviticus 18:22 You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an

abomination. y
Leviticus 20:13

If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a

woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death. Their blood guiltiness is upon them. Muslim now days have no compromise over this matter, sin is sin. Most of the gay who is Muslim are having two lives, and their gay life is kept secret. Most of the major Islamic country has law and authority to punish this kind of life style. For example, one of Iran storming reports, a sentence to death penalty to Mahmoud Asgari Ayaz Marhoni on July 19th 2005 because molested a 13 year-old boy. Even Malaysia has its most shocking news, about former Deputy Prime Minister, Dato Seri Anwar Ibrahim on his sodomy cases. It is not the meaning that theres no gay practice in Muslim country, it just not openly. Not just authority uphold this matter strictly, society in Muslim country still have conservative sentiment about this topic.

In contrary, major Christians country has taken this matter a liberal approach probably because of demonstration in 1969. Since then, theres more demonstration in other Christians country. Now days, gay members become more openly about their lifestyle. We can hear news about marriage among same sex gender, even theres a marriage of former Catholic priest Father Karl Clemens, 70, from Canada to his lover, Nick on 14th November 2009. This matrimony reunion is accepted in most of major Christians country such as Canada, Spain, South Africa, Belgium, Israel and Netherlands.

Gay couple also can raise a child; bring them up together either an adopted child, donate sperm or surrogate mother. Theres argument about what will happen to the child because of their unconventional parents. Some researcher stated theres no negative effect like Mike and Burrell (1996) find no differences in their study comparing the impact of homosexual and heterosexual parents on children, Others finding reversely such Stacey

and Biblarz in Does the Sexual Orientation of Parents Matter? (2001, p. 171172) stated, there is some credible evidence that children with gay and lesbian parents, especially adolescent children, face homophobic teasing and ridicule that many find difficult to manage. Above all, the child with same sex parents mostly grows up as a gay and confuses over sex lifestyle choices because of their unusual parents. And sadly, they are highly exposed to become bully victims.

Theres also shocking news, how a preached Dale McAlpine was arrested because publicly stated and reciting Bible about sin of homosexuality. Even this is written in their Bible, they cannot publicly state, in aware of causing distressful among gay member. To think about it, how their political lifelong is more important than to uphold their faith, believe and truth in their holy book itself.

4.0

CHARACTERISTICS OF GAY

Can you recognize a gay? Did they have any special features? Gay basically is ordinary male human just with special interest. Classical characteristics of being gay is their having sex among men, comfortable with same sex outing, and satisfy with their sexual activity even they realize it is not right.

Theres no definite evidence to categories gay men. Generally gay men typically very clean person, particular about their dress and grooming. Picky about food and best of all, tend to attract other men attention especially in public places.

5.0

GAY AND PHYSICAL HEALTH ISSUE

Among gay, anal sex is a way to pleasure them self. As far as it concern, human flesh creation was not intended to hold such sexual action. Rectum is different with vagina based on it use for penis access. Vagina has its own natural fluids and complex muscles

system. This system helps the vagina to sustain from severe damaged cause by friction with penis and response to semen.

In contrary, anal is less complex system as it was use for disposal only. With this continual of friction and stretching, sphincter will lose its firmness, eventually cause a Hemorrhoids.

Because its a simple system, it most likely to bleed during the sexual activity because lining of the rectum is thin. So its easy to effected by viruses in anal than to vagina when contacted with blood, feces and combination of body fluids.

Sperms has the ability to outlaw female immune system without harming the vagina but it is totally different story with anal. Sperms make anal more vulnerable as to expose by its immunosuppressive. Based on all this facts, it is not to much to classified gay as riskiest people to infected by sexual diseases.

Some of diseases that easily affected to gay are:-

5.1 y

HIV/ AIDS HIV (human Immunodeficiency virus) is the cause of AIDS (Acquired immune deficiency syndrome). Its a disease that causes human resistance system to lose it function. Gay has the highest chances to being affected with HIV because during the anal sex, it most likely to bleed and virus can enter the blood vascular. The viruses also can go through the opening penis. Condom is easily to torn during anal sex rather than usual sex activity. In Nursing Clinics of North America (2004), stated that gay "are nine times more likely to become infected with HIV than their heterosexual counterparts.

5.2 y

ANAL CANCER Nursing Clinics of North America Journal (June, 2004) stated,

One of the more pressing issues for gay men is anal carcinoma. Several recent studies have indicated the rate of anal dysplasia to be increasing in men with and without HIV. Ninety percent of men with HIV have the human papiloma virus (HPV), while 65% of men without HIV have HPV. HVP type 16 is the most troublesome for developing cancer and is found in a significant portion of gay men.

5.3 y

HEPATITIS B Hepatitis B is a disease that causes inflammation in liver. It is because of direct body contact with contamination blood. Because of the sexual activity, gay also easily expose to Hepatitis B.

5.4 y

SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED INFECTIONS Syphilis This disease is carried by Treponema pallidum. Infected through direct contact with syphilis sore at the vagina, anus or rectum. Also can detect at the lips ant inside the mouth. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) US, stated gay contributed 65 percent of almost 12,000 cases of syphilis in 2007, making them the primary driver of increased syphilis rates overall. It is a control diseases but increasingly each year since 2000, as gay lifestyle become a common thing. y Genital human papillomavirus (HPV) It is a familiar disease among sexually active people and passed through genital contact. Gay men are classified as sexual active people because most of them participate in sexual activity without considering into marriage relationship. Its a disease that can cause cancer mostly anal cancer. y Gonorrhea Carried by Neisseria gonorrhoeae. Sexually Transmitted Diseases (2007) print an article, Sexually Transmitted Infections in Western Europe among HIV-

Positive Men Who Have Sex with Men claimed, "Since the late 1990s, increases in diagnoses and rates of gonorrhea have been observed across the region, although recently there has been evidence of a levelling off and even a decline in some countries. y Lymphogranuloma Venereum Outbreaks y Give an impact to lymphatic. infected highly among gay and lesbian community.

Parasites Because of anal sex, gay was likely expose to intestinal parasitism The Medical Journal of Australia (2006) stated, High rates of intestinal parasitism are found in MSM [men who have sex with men] throughout the world.

Amoebiasis Can become a fatal disease like colitis and liver sore and found mostly in gay patient. Internal Medicine(2001,Tokyo, Japan) printed Amebiasis and claimed, While the overall prevalence of amebiasis is approximately 4% in the United States, certain high-risk groups have a much higher incidence of infection and disease. Prevalence of E. historylitica or E. dispar in the gay population of New York City and San Francisco approached 40-50% . Some Japanese literature also showed homosexual contact was an important risk factor for amebic infection.

Bacteria Gay also easily expose to other kind of bacteria. This is supportive by SD Wexner (1990) in Diseases of the Colon and Rectum, when he clearly states: "....a host of parasites, bacterial, viral, and protozoan are all rampant in the homosexual population."

5.5

Hepatitis C An article, Advances in the Management of Viral Hepatitis B and Hepatitis C Infection in HIV-Coinfected Patients Vincent V (2007), Soriano, MD, PhD stated in Medscape by,

Hepatitis C virus (HCV) has not been thought to be efficiently transmitted through sexual contact. However, recent reports of outbreaks of acute hepatitis C among men who have sex with men (MSM) have changed this view. British researchers examined 7223 MSM who attended a single clinic in Brighton, United Kingdom, since 2000. The study investigators reported that highly risky sexual practices along with multiple sex partners explained the increase in episodes of acute HCV infection in this population.

Based on all this fact, it not a rush to consider gay is a dangerous lifestyle. It is a scary life, just likes food that left uncover on the table. You never know what and when one of these diseases will infect you.

6.0

GAY AND MENTAL ISSUE

Gay practice is reported to be the most contributors to psychiatric problems such as suicide, depression, bulimia, antisocial personality disorder, and substance abuse. Because of this, the issue of removal homosexuality as psychopath from DSM is still being assumed weather it is the right thing to do. But it may be fair to take account of what they have to face as a gay. Social exclusion, discrimination, negative stereotype and limited support, is some of the major factor that causes distressful to gay community.

Survey on 1977 by American Psychiatric Association and 73% of the psychiatrists find, "gay and lesbian is not happy and 70 percent of them this is because of personal conflicts than to social stigmatization. This survey however is doubted because psychologist at that time may being prejudice over removal homosexual from DSM.

If we see from gay perspective, when they realize they have interest among same sex gender, they may be confuses. This is a big issue and most of them find it hard to share to others. Basically, they just bottle up their feeling. Bottle up your feeling is not a good thing, even if you a straight guy. Keeping problem to yourself, without sharing can bring

harm to you. If they reveal their true interest, what their facing is rejected from others. So, either way, it is a difficult choice.

7.0

SEXUAL EXPLOITATION BY OLDER GAY

Not all young kids were lucky enough to have a stable life with caring parents. Unfortunate child who turn to teenagers easily being manipulate because of their lacking in basic need and the need of attention. Older gay who is financially steady may use this opportunity to fill their sexual desire. Because of increases HIV positive among young boy, researcher found a shocking truth and The Advocate (1992) declare that, Gay boys and straight girls who are having sex for money, shelter, love - they are at risk. And our community, the gay and lesbian community - and I particularly fault gay men here - has done nothing to try to help our youth. Gay men view these boys as recreational toys to be used. I have heard many stories of HIV-positive men having unprotected sex with boys. They dont think it matters.

Relation that bond at the beginning like a fairytale, turn to be nightmare. When the youth discover that they being sexually needed, this may lead to suicide. So nick name as sugar daddy or small fish become famous as to disguise this unmoral act.

In Malaysia, even this kind of story not openly report, it doesnt mean its not happen. Because theres a law over sodomy, it most likely an adult gay approach his victim and keep them closely for a much longer time, to get a solid grasp, then manipulate them to fill their selfish need. 8.0 WHAT IF YOUR CHILD IS GAY

If one day you find out your child is a gay, what will you do? Even to think about it already make you feel uncomfortable. What if this really happen to you?

Above all, when faces difficulty, it best to seek calmness. Then if you not able to find solution alone, better seek professional help. Do not vent anger to your child, as it will make them further apart. One of the experts is Dr. Jeffrey Satinover. His report on Homosexuality Facts versus Fictions listed things to handle this matter if your child, family or closed friend facing this problem. Some of his suggestions are:-

1. Ready to share private story, how to overcome seduced. 2. Never judge person over their feeling. Love and hatred is not something we can choose over. Make them feel they are not alone to suffer. 3. Be a listener. Less talking and dont show your consent either. 4. Solve the problem before its getting bigger. Share it with other who had the same experience, their relatives or family tend to be gay. 5. Find the basic reason. Make them understand the risks. 6. Give them expert opinion on this matter. Do not give up. Patient is the most important things to win this fight. 7. The closeness and warming heart is a key to persuade.

9.0

CONCLUSION

Gay actually is a laughing topic among your friends. Its just not make sense, why they had such interest. To think women is the most beautiful creature in the world. If one of your colleague or neighbor is gay, you just cannot stop talking about it.

But when it befalls to your family, maybe brother or son, its just not funny anymore. Its become a big issue, how to change their mind, how to face the society, what Im doing so wrong? This is some of many question will pop into your mind. What will you do?

As a Muslim, gay lifestyle is prohibited. It is a big sin. Even in Quran theres a story about people of Lot (also known as the people of Sodom and Gomorrah), demolished for gay sexual desire. For the disease that easily infected to gay men, this is actually punishment because crossing the line as a human nature.

From early years, any actions that may enable children to confuse about their sexual identity should be avoided. Set child mind, plant basic knowledge about their sex gender. Make them understand the important reason why marriage between different genders is appropriate way. This may seem unnecessary, but in the world of machine and unlimited knowledge, the way to raised child is differ from our time. Anything can happen. This is a challenge for being parents now days.

As for all gay out there, all we can do is hoping Allah listen to our prayer. This is challenges you must face. We understand feeling is something we cant control. Hope you will find the right path, following the human nature.

10.0 REFFERENCE

1. LGBT topics and Islam http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_topics_and_Islam 2. RELIGIONNEWSBLOG, Thursday, 06 May 2010 at 3:48 AM http://richarddawkins.net/videos/466969-christian-preacher-arrested-for-sayinghomosexuality-is-a-sin 3. National GLBTQ Culture Articles http://www.examiner.com/international-lgbt-issuesin-national/former-gay-catholic-priest-getting-married-today-calls-marriage-a-humanright 4. Homosexual http://www.knowledgerush.com/kr/encyclopedia/Homosexual/ 5. The Health Risks Of Gay Sex JOHN R. DIGGS, JR., M.D http://www.catholiceducation.org/articles/homosexuality/ho0075.html 6. Dr. Jeffrey Satinover , Homosexuality Facts versus Fictions. http://www.pluc.org.my/articles.html 7. http://www.suite101.com/content/research-on-gay-parenting-what-are-the-outcomesfor-the-child-a291412 8. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay 9. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Men_who_have_sex_with_men 10. http://www.conservapedia.com/Homosexuality
11. http://www.inqueery.com/html/science_and_homosexuality.html 12. Gay or Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder? http://www.brainphysics.com/hocd.php