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A Critique of Wilson

A Critique of: Hurt People Hurt People by Dr. Sandra D. Wilson

Anita Meyers Liberty University

Coun 507 February 13, 2011 Dr. Sandy Breazeale

A Critique of Wilson

A Critique of: Hurt People Hurt People by Dr. Sandra Wilson

In his book, Dr. Wilson (2001) theory of change is basic Behavioral. She states that Making and consistently practicing new choices produces change (p.87). She also states that, our change efforts have eternal significance only when they are empowered by the Holy Spirit of God (pg. 87 & 88). I found out that we need to recognize and indentify the real issues that need to be worked on at a personal level. While doing this, truth can be seen and new choices can be made. Being consistent with the new choices will result in new habits.

Proverbs-16:16 say, How much better to get wisdom than gold, to choose understanding rather than silver. And John-7:17 say, anyone chooses to do Gods will, he will find out whether my teaching comes from God or whether I speak my own. When we take on new habits, we can become a new person. The foundation is built out of family-of-origin and early childhood experiences resulting in self-conceptualization schemas and protecting/compensating coping strategies (p. 145). The clinician must understand the possibility of a critical event/situation that activates/triggers the maladaptive schema and coping strategies (p. 145). Even through Wilson does not call approach a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy approach, her writing clearly outlines the need to understand these things and then change the thinking processes that are resulting in personal distress.

Wilson maintains a balanced perspective concerning the gaining of insights and awareness in relationship to the requirement that one initiate and maintain new behaviors in their life. She states that one must remember the difference between self-focus and self-awareness (p. 116). However, the gaining of self-awareness is necessary. Have you ever stopped to consider that we cannot change what we did not choose (p. 88). To me this means that, we did not choose our parents, family members, test and trails, or the path that God has decided that we need to go down so that He can make us into what He has ordained us to be. Wilson reminds us, that we must each take personal responsibility for our behaviors and for the process of personal development and change (p. 33). This means that, we all may have gone through some detrimental things in our life, but it is still left up to us how we handle these things. We can both learn from them and allow them to do the work that God has intended them to do. Or, we can be bitter and blame and hurt other people. Simply put, Understanding a behavior does not make it acceptable (p. 33). Wilson focuses on the individuals developmental experience in the family-of-origin context. She states that parents who do not understand normal child development often hurt their children unintentionally (p. 36). Dr. Wilson, places a lot of emphases on the practice of forgiveness including her belief that ignoring this can be a barrier in the transformation and change process (p. 213). She defines forgiveness as a release of debt, not a forgetting of the crime (p. 214). I believe that this is a wonderful concept. Because, if we do not forgive each other, then why would we expect God to forgive us? I believe like she does that we should not forget the crime. Not forgetting the crime will remind you of what you have been through and at the same time watching out for the signs so that you will not go through it again.

A Critique of Wilson

One important element to remember is that Dr. Wilson writes from personal experience. She has personally experienced brokenness and hopelessness. She understands the concept of shame concerning how it influences a persons developmental process. It is from her family experiences that she develops her view that people develop in a family context and child wounding happen in a family relationship context. Wilson recounts a clients experience with a well-meaning Christian who was unable to understand the clients deep personal struggle. Their approach to overcoming the problem was to explain the difficulty as being caused by self-justification, selfcenteredness, and sin (p. 27). In addition, the client was admonished to pray, read her Bible more and snap out of it (p. 27). New converts are expected to get saved and then clean up rather quickly. When this does not happen, Baptists do not have a mature understanding of how to engage a person in the transformation or sanctification process. Wilson recognizes that in living through the development process, persons sometimes develop a distorted view of God and relate to Him as if He were the same as their parent. By doing this, a person may transfer onto God unresolved emotions concerning a parent. Wilson provides Christian counselors a framework for considering and understanding this possible complication in the lives of their counselees. Wilson offers a model of counseling based on personal experience in the transformation process.

A Critique of Wilson

References

Wilson, S.D. (2001). Hurt people hurt people: Hope and healing for yourself and your relationships. Grand Rapids, MI: Discovery House Publishers