Kampot Survival Guide Issue 22

KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012
The Gods practised first on Heaven, then they made Kampot. Come and see why it's so special. Officially an unofficial guide to Kampot and its attractions, places to go and things to do.
P 19 P 914 P 14 P 1416 P 1619 P 1922 P 2225 P 2526 P 2627 P 28 P 29 P 3031 P 32 Things to See and Do. Do's, Dont's and Local Info. Daily Events. Local Characters. Street Food Guide. Cainine Cuisine. Ask Lucky. Kampot Faggots. Learn some useful Khmer. Projects & Volunteering. Transport, Useful Numbers. Bars, Food & Rooms, Contact us. Not a Map.
In this issue...
1925 and catered for the wealthy, although it was never used as a casino. In 1940 it closed and stayed so until 1959 when Sihanouk (twice king and former prime minister) made the decision to make the site a world class resort. In 1963 the hill reopened with the added Things to see and do... Bokor Mountain (The Hill). A National Park, attraction of Cambodia's first casino in what is sometimes now called the new hotel. The construction site and area of historic interest. complex continued to operate till 1972 when it Tours can be sorted through the many tour once again closed. Sokha Hotels are currently operators or your guest house, although now building new hotels and casinos on the hill, you can again go up alone by hiring a moto (check the map on page 8). Atop the hill are the one is nearing completion and probably opening for Khmer new year, so lets hope it's ruins of both the French built resort and the third time lucky cos as till now the hill has Khmer revamp of the site in the 60's. The never made buck one! story starts in 1917 when the French founders River, Boats & Trips. The river is really an started the construction of the road, it took six years to complete and claimed nearly a thosand estuary, thus its level only varies with the tide and in heavy rain, it is therefore salty and lives. The Bokor Palace Hotel opened in supports sea life for the greater part of the year,
Bokor Palace Hotel c1950
KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012 fish and crab following their preferred saline levels through the seasons, Tek Chhou is the breaking point and beyond there it's all fresh water. It is very possible to hire a boat and crew for the day, ask at your guesthouse or at one of the bars, most will be able to help, but the best trips by far are those with Bart the Boatman 092174280. Popular trips are up the river and its lost turns stopping at a couple of riverside establishments to refresh, down the river to the sea is good too with a nice view of the Cambodian navy and fishing fleets, and of course the sunset cruises. For the early bird dolphin watching trips are also possible, check Prek Thnout Community. Rapids (Tek Chhou). A series of stones in flowing water, a major tourist resort for the Khmer and fun for all, cool crystal clear water running down from the semi demined hills of Bokor. Unfortunately as there are now dams upstream the quantity of flowing water may be disapointing, but it's still worth a look. One of the many Generals here has recently built a spa on the back of this water, he claims it has health improving qualities and has called it "Tada Bokor", so we have spring water as well as just bottled now! The Front. The east bank is commonly just termed the front and it's a great place to be for sunset and darling, strolling, rolling and conversing around sunset. Most of the foreigner orientated business are concentrated along this strip or near to it, so it's a great starting place for the evening, later opening bars tend to be further from the front, on your way home! Beach. There are a few beaches within spitting distance of Kampot, those at Kep and the so called secret (Angkaul) beach, ones to the south of Kampot and those about 17Km toward
Snook along highway 3. There are even tide dependent beaches all along the river, Utopia and the Green House have their own beaches that defy the tide. Some of the beaches still bear the scars of seaweed farming with masses of wooden poles piercing the shallow sea, between them are typical Khmer houses built on stilts, 500m or more out to sea. Fish Isle & Nut Hill. Go over either bridge towards Snook and turn second left, soon you will cross a bridge, you are now on fish isle, keep to the main part of the road and eventually you will get to the new trails and then the coast. It's a stunning place to explore with amazing
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270 views that are far too good to miss! Caves. There are many caves around Kampot, many have Buddhist shrines with specific powers, so you may well see people camped there seeking help for their ailments. Though by far the best caves are at Kampong Trach, it may cost you a little more to get there but its worth it, about 40km toward the Vietnamese border. The National Zoo! Along the Tek Chhou road and just past Utopia you will find the Zoo. You can enjoy the zoo in many ways, it will shock you but you will enjoy it. It has a surprisingly large range of animals from all over the world, most of which you will see as they don't make cages where the animals can hide. Paying a small extra charge lets you ride your moto, tuk tuk or drive a car round the zoo, just to make sure the specimens are awake. Strangely the Zoo also has rooms available, but the cages are much cheaper.
Legend of Kampot terms
Pot = Kampot. Potpat = xpat living in the Pot. Snook = Sihanoukville / Kompong Som (where Potpats go to die). Bodge = Cambodia/Cambodge. GH = Guesthouse. PP = Phnom Penh. Fish Isle = Koh D'tray. Nut Hill = Phnom Dung. Nuts = Coconuts. Snail = Backpacker. Boom boom = body cavity/sausage massage. Gaylim = daelim from Kep or with basket. Taxi girl/boy = body cavity/sausage masseur. Repeat offender = tourist or xpat that keeps returning to the Pot. JF = KSG's first ace reporter, Jack the Father. Glue = tobacco substitute. KSG = Kampot Survival Guide. XPot = X Potpat. The Hill = Bokor Mountain. Poofta = one who is kepish or not really trying (Belgian in origin). Pirate = someone on a boat trip. KFC = Kampot Football Club. http://kampotsurvivalguide.blogspot.com
Museum. With the recent loss of the cultural center in Kampot no proper museums exist at present, but lo, we have a saviour in the name of JeanMichel Filippi. He plans to open a regional interactive museum in Kep! Magic (White) Mountain. With a little help you may be able to find this one, it's more of a hill than a mountain but its still a sod climbing it, scattered around the hill are shrines and at the top you may well meet the witch and her two followers, don't piss them off as the spells they cast are good. Waterfalls. The falls are seasonal here, there is little point in visiting during the dry season and they can be hard to get to in the wet. Most moto drivers and all guides will know how to get you to the most popular ones, at worst it should only take you two hours to walk to them, though much longer if you are stupid and decide to wear flip flops. It's said that one set of falls has been seen by less than 10 westerners since its discovery in the early 1900's, so don't bother asking where they are. Trekking. Use guides and stick to the paths, take the given advice, if you plan to do the hill contact the Rangers or a tour that uses them, it's dangerous up there so take sensible things with you, ipods rarely save lives. Dams and Lakes. A series of small dams have recently been repaired just outside Kampot, they were originally built as a KR project and never a secret lake, but they lasted till the late 90's when one failed. Now they are rapidly
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Bridges. We have 3 of them, all can be walked but by far the most fun is the railway bridge, take a walk over it and check out the battle damage. The new bridge is now a fashionable meeting place for kids, especially now it has new road markings, painted on just over a year after its opening. The old bridge is still just a death trap, be careful in the wet or at sunset! Railway Station. Futuristic design in a corrugated rust peppered steel shell. For a taste of how good this station is check out the one Western Conversions. 16Km towards Snook, it's just off the main 1 Khmer unit = 1.5 2 Western units. road and somewhat lacking in the walls and This works for prices, sizes, drinks, seats and roof departments, but it still makes a cracking distances. picture. A company called Toll Holdings won the concession to revamp these lines well over becoming touristed with a small selection of bars n cafe's skirting the edges of the reservoir three years ago, they promised we would have a working train system by now that would and the durian plantations. Rubber rings and peddilo boats may be hired though the scenery speed us to pp in about three hours, we are still bloody waiting! should be enough to keep you happy. To get Bamboo Train. Running on the main rail lines there head towards Kep and turn left at the rhino, then go straight on till you see the water, (where available) these small make shift trains easy. Up the river from the rapids the Chinese are/were available for rent, tour groups and are constructing a huge dam, we all hate it too moto drivers know/knew how to get you rolling on one of these moto powered trains, rumours as it's flooded us all at least twice, but the finished project will produce 180MW with just also suggest you may well be able to enter the small cost of 2K hectares of national park. Vietnam by one, though the legalities are Pagodas. Look for the tell tale fancy gates and soon you will see the Pagodas, the monks are always happy to see you and practise their English, do wear suitable clothing when visiting, don't show too much flesh that is. Secret Pagoda. It's not really a secret and hardly a pagoda, but it's one of the seven secret places the Pot used to boast (the not so secret lake was never one of them!). There are two ways of getting there, walking or riding, I know which method I would choose cos it's up a steep hill. To get there head up towards the rapids, if you plan to walk the turning you want is a left before the zoo, riding you go for the left turn after the zoo, there is a statue of a young prince on the way up, he eventually became Buddha. Take a camera as the views are stunning. Bird House. Thanks to the Chinese influence in Kampot we have a few bird houses that produce a truly Chinese delicacy, birds nest soup. Some of these houses are make shift and others are specially built for the job. On the Tek Chhou road next to the generator plant a huge bird house has been built, just look for a big house with no windows. They simulate cave conditions and tempt the birds in by playing looped bird calls, playing loudest at sunset.
Standard Cambodian Units.
KW or Kilowatt = Number of Watts or Pagodas per province. 9mm = The gap between any two items that should be connected. Power to weight ratio = If you have power, you don't have to wait (also applies to money). Maximum passenger load = there is always space for one more.
somewhat doubtful. Port. A deep water port is under construction not far past the entrance to Bokor, no prizes for guessing what traffic they are looking for, yep cruise ships to fill the new rooms and casinos on the hill, although they do have a free trade zone planned too. It could be an interesting trip if you have never seen a port being built. Kampot Airport, KMT (Daelim Dragracing Track). Along the Tek Chhou road and opposite the school is the old air strip, or as we have it now the Daelim drag strip. Recently it hosted trials between the cream of Kampot and the best of Snook. Expect more action soon as the national league is formed, also expect Kampot to be atop of this league. Pepper. Bloody good pepper is grown in these parts, probably the best in the world! Basic tours are available everywhere but for the full story contact "Farm Link" as they are planning specialised tours. So go out to a plantation and see how it's grown and don't forget to buy some before you leave here. Durian (the king of fruits). This is what the area is famous for, the worlds best durian fruit. A spiky smelly fruit, eat with your mouth not your nose! There are many plantations along the Tek Chhou road to the rapids. Salt. This is a major Kampot export, south of the city are many salt flats skirting the coasts and the salty rivers, some of the easiest to see are on fish isle, second left over either bridge and straight on, or just head south along the east bank of the river. There is a theory rice production is about to be started in these very areas, the worlds first ready salted rice will be Khmer! Pot Holes. The pot hole was invented in Kampot and is still it's greatest export. Initially devised for traffic control it's popularity recently soared with Cambodia's adoption of http://kampotsurvivalguide.blogspot.com
"free range golf". A game where you hit a golf ball in any direction with the intent to end its travel in a pot hole. Water Sports. The world is your lobster here with an ever expanding choice of ways to play in the river. At present we have canoes, speed boats, jet ski's, wind surfing, water skiing, kite surfing and more, check out the ad's or listings for more details. Aquatic Centre. The National Olympic Committee of Cambodia has just opened the country's first Aquatic Centre here in the Pot, it's intended to give training for rowers
competing in the Olympic, SEA and Asian Games but will eventually be used for recreation and tourism. So get down there and check out the dragon boats. Boxing. Official boxing events do happen here but not often, though it's far more likely you will see bar owners squaring up to each other late on the front, this is all part of the build up for Kampot's Inter Bar Boxing Championship to be held next season, Snook has a similar project for sumo and Kep is going the mud wrestling route. Football. You can often catch a game at the Olympic stadium near the main traffic circle, there has even been a couple of tournaments there, so check it out it could be fun. Volley ball. Sporadic games are played at the waste ground near the old bridge, find a good moto to lean on or sit on the wall. Ptanque/Boules. A game played with metal balls and becoming increasingly popular in the Pot, you will see many locals lobing balls in their spare time. There are plenty of pitches around that you may be able to get a game, though the easiest to find are at the Boules bar and Blissful GH.
Badminton. Epic Arts performance centre has facilities for playing, equipment may be hired and booking in advance seems like a good idea to avoid disappointment. Gym. There is no official gym in the city, Orchid guest house used to have some weights and a bench, Utopia has a make shift jungle type gym with the extra attraction of training with Max the knife. Recent reports suggest there may well be a boxing style gym open across the river, it's on the Tek Chhou road and between the bridges. Fishing. It's possible but don't expect to be as good as the locals are. Ultimately fishing only gives you practise at waiting, that's why it's not called catching. Golf. No we do not have a course yet but one is in the way, on fish isle so we are told. The closest golf may well be the crazy golf course at the "Magic Sponge". For a proper course you'll have to go to PP. Swimming. Swimming within the city limits is strictly prohibited with the exception of the river, which has been designated the official swimming pool, several bars have offered free beer to the first to swim a length. But do bear
KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012 in mind the nature of the river and its tidal Prison. Well worth a look, see just what you cycles before jumping in, the tide means that can expect if you seriously cross the line here. shite dropped in the river during the dry season On average there are two westerners in the hangs around, so it may be better to head prison all the time, so be good! Prisoners are further up the river, or to the rapids or the often seen around town working in sort of beach. chain gangs, but without the chains, it seems Swimming Pools. Borey Bokor I has a pool none of them try to escape. It's usually OK to where you can pay per day, the cost may be as take pic's but if there is someone on guard ask high as $5 per a day. Pools further out include first. Villa Vidici and Nataya, with almost Pond (mosquito farm). Just back from the everywhere in Kep having pools, but access front is the pond, it's a pretty spot and quite may be limited or expensive. picturesque, it may even be worth fishing there. Pool. There are but a few tables in the city and Massage. You are spoilt for choice here but all of them are obstructed. A couple of Khmer my Xwife's particular favourite is the Srey places have rough ones, Bodhi Villa has a Chann 017621958, she has a shop just round reasonable table upstairs, the Magic Sponge, the corner from the post office. Seeing Hands Wunderbar and Madi's also have tables of Vb is next to BarRed and is good. Fragrance differing qualities. offers stylish surroundings and similar wares Palm Wine. A natural and traditional local and is one street back from the front. drink, best taken close to where its made, any Manicure. A late night emergency service is moto or tuk tuk driver will be happy take you now available at the new clinic, for standard out to try some, but be careful it's surprisingly service try Tokyo Salone opposite BarRed or strong and smells like sour milk. Jolie Jolie near Paris GH.. Rice Wine. This fella can really batter you, it's Betting. Once upon a time the government bloody cheap and well strong, many Khmer licensed betting offices, this avenue of pleasure cafs will have large jars full of the stuff, has now been taken away from the average usually with strange additives in them, like odd Khmer, religion may well be the only gamble vegetables and dead reptiles, caution is recommended. Shopping. Almost everything is available in the mass of shops between new and old bridge streets, the market etc. There are also supermarkets, OK, well two and they are on the main and the salt workers traffic circles. Market. What can I say, markets are markets and are the same the world over, crowded hot and cramped, but you can buy cheap food and all sorts of goods there. Old Market. Piercing the front is the end of the old market, it has been home for the homeless but most recently its was used for boat storage and indoor volleyball matches, we think the boats may have been rescue boats for the rainy season. Soon though the market will reopen as stalls are now on sale, get in quick if you want one! Hospital. Between the old and new bridges and you will see the hospital, it's been under heavy construction and filling is us all with hope as many forign nationals have been stocking it up with new high tech equipment. Remember it is a referral hospital so it may well be closed when you have your accident. Near the new bridge street is a flash clinic, so now we have a choice! http://kampotsurvivalguide.blogspot.com 7 www.facebook.com/KampotSurvivalGuide/
the Khmer have left. But down at the border crossing things are different, in nomans land they have built several casinos, one even has a booking office near to the bus station, pop in an see what offers they have. A new hotel and casino is due to open on the hill soon, it's not in a very picturesque spot, but casino's don't need views. Cyclo Rides. Due to the eccentricities of Pot Pats Kampot now has Cyclo rides on offer, you may even be able to rent one to get a real taste of work, so go and get sweaty. Moto Rental. It's popular, it's fun and it's dangerous. Motos are cheap to rent and very available, the roads however are pretty bad and local traffic rules will evade you, so go slow, watch out for cows n kids, go really slow on dirt roads or in the rain and always show the PotPats your latest wounds. Dirtbike Rental. Dirtbikes in Cambodia are inherently gay as everywhere a dirtbike goes, a Daelim has been before, probably carrying 4 http://kampotsurvivalguide.blogspot.com
people and all their luggage. They are however available for rent, be careful. Cinema. As all four cinemas in town closed a long time back, the city is now without such facilities, until December 2009 that was as the Royal Theatre was reopened to host Cambofest, an international film festival. Kampot also has couple of semi big screens, check advertising to see who is showing what and where. Epic Arts and Kepler Books sell DVD's too, which could be handy if you have access to a player. Nightlife. The Pot has a full compliment of nightlife available, with late night bars, food and now even a night club. Live Music. Several warring factions of musicians have graced Kampot bars this year, almost all of them so expect to hear live music drifting along the river and side streets. Sadly no real battle of the bands has occurred yet, though we are told Pot musicians are in the middle of a price war. Several open mic nights 8 www.facebook.com/KampotSurvivalGuide/
KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012 exist too so check out the chalk boards for more details. Karaoke. There are many opportunities to sing your heart out in Kampot, most such establishments dot the outskirts of the city but a few have sneaked within the city limits, to find them hire a Tuk Tuk or follow the noise, but be aware these places are there to make money, this is done via hostesses or inflated prices. Boom Boom (Sausage Services). There are many venues for internal body massage within this fair city, currently over 15 and normally aimed at a quick fire one stop service. Don't ever think it's like Thailand, Snook or PP, it's Khmer style business, Mc Donald's of the east. Just look for red lights at night (with the exception of the red neon bar sign!) or visit one of the many late night Karaoke bars. Oh, and there is no truth in the rumour that you win a badge for doing all 15 in one night. Whatever you do, always use a wilkinson (love sock)! Gay. Kampot now has a thriving gay scene, so much so that there is little point in going to Kep any more. Sadly there are no set bars or clubs to accommodate the masses, though the Dragon Club does its best. So you will have to look around, thankfully all bars are gay friendly. Kep. Day trips are OK but further investigation seems unnecessary, unless you're a loner or a romancing couple wanting to get away from it all. All that said, Kep has some odd qualities that strangely shine through, empty houses, trails and beaches make for easy and pleasurable exploring, also with businesses in Kep being an average of over 1km apart you will get some maybe needed exercise. Talent Spotting. See if you can recognise any of the local characters listed later in this rag, or even find some new ones and submit them.
The King. Probably the coolest King in the world, never seen without a smile and an encouraging word, truly a great man. He also has a cracking sense of humour, and although he lives in Siem Reap we know he has a soft spot for the Pot. It's OK to ask questions about the King, everybody seems to love to talk about him, my Xwife has even had an audience with him, a joking and laughing affair. See, it's not odd here like it is in Thailand. Locals. Generally very friendly, all will want to help you, many will want to practice their
Do's, Dont's and Local Info...
Bar, Restaurant and Riverside Bungalows On The Papaya Salad Rd Tek Chhou 016 204 134
English on you so be prepared for a slow start to the conversation, and watch out for the kids and their hello ambushes. PotPats. Many PotPats grace Kampot, some working on projects and manning the many western businesses, others eke out an existence in unknown manners, all will be bored of travel tails and backpacker woes, but most will also be happy to talk to interesting folk for the price of some beers. Beggars. Stump envy has hit Kampot with able bodied beggars renting crutches, be sure to check the quantity of limbs before donating to
some of these beggars, but don't forget some people rely on these donations for survival, there are no pensions or free health service's here. Backpackers. Known as snails to PotPats, pregnant if wearing two backpacks (when seen without backpacks they are sometimes called naked or slugs). Usually seen walking from GH to GH while fully packed, being too damn tight to pay for a moto driver or tuk tuk that would help them (yes you, put my guide back you tight git!). Generally welcomed in city bars as long as the money is good, rumours of backpackers being shot on sight in Kep are unfounded. Hippies. Several have been sighted during the past few months but in vastly diminishing numbers, the secret eradication scheme seems to be working, a local spokesman states: We are glad to see an end to the 'Suspected Hippies In Transit' problem. Backpacks. Contrary to common backpacker belief, you do not need to carry a backpack all the time in Kampot, nor do you need to carry water bottles. In six years of living in the Bodge I have never needed more than pocket space for all necessary items, if I need a drink I buy one from the many vendors, and it's cold too! Lonely Planet. After years of research, the actual use of the Lonely Planet guide has been discovered. The book in its true form should be held in front of the user, so the said user may read the content you may think, but wrongly. It is actually just used as a counterbalance to the backpack the user is wearing, QED. Rough Guide. Very similar to the LP but soon to be updated. Actually we know the budget for updating this baby, it cost an air fare and six weeks of $20/day, a total of less than $2000, so it's very doubtful this update will be extensive. 10 www.facebook.com/KampotSurvivalGuide/
KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012 Footprint Guide. This fella was a brand new guide, written from scratch we were told. It was most surprising when reading the listings within it that it listed businesses that had closed more than six years previous, a very bloody poor effort indeed! Sun. A bristled head is not adequate UV protection so always wear a hat, local sunblocks also have added ingredients you may wish to avoid, i.e. bleaching agents to whiten your skin, so watch out. Money. The power of the dollar is failing, thus some establishments will offer you exchange rates as low as R3800 to the $1, it's a good time to switch to the Euro. Haggling. Bartering is expected in markets, it's fun and should find a price both parties are happy with, but if you see a price listed that's the price you pay. Smokes. Cigarettes are cheap and plentiful here but watch out you don't run short late at night, or you may pay some guy on the street double price for an open pack. Glue. Smoking weed in Kampot is generally a no no, a few places may allow you to smoke in an out of the way place but ask first, further out of town it's less strict. Don't forget it's illegal to sell weed in Cambodia, so don't bother asking the PotPats to sell you some, you won't get any and you will get offended. Beers. Draught beer has hit Kampot, currently we have three different flavours, Cambodia Beer, Anchor and Angkor, my fave is Cambodia as it's the only one thats owned by Cambodians, Anchor is brewed under a Singapore license and Angkor is owned by the Danes and Malaysians. Many canned and bottled beers are available to suit all tastes, but the local fave is Anchor cans, it separates residents from tourists who insist on drinking Angkor, sometimes in big bottles, warm beer users are odd! Water. Don't drink the tap water, old old story, but you can purify it by adding two parts vodka to one part tap water. Bottled water is available everywhere, even the cheapest is OK but tastes differ, just look for shops with an orange ice box outside, and to be honest, I have found nowhere in the Pot where you can't see cold water for sale, so it's silly to carry water with you. Food. All the food is good here, the ice is good too, so don't be a poof about it. Most businesses serve food till about 21.30, if you miss that window of opportunity not all is lost http://kampotsurvivalguide.blogspot.com
but your choice drops dramatically, check out the street food guide later in this rag. MSG. Manmade salty gravy, not seen in most restaurants due the the availability of fresh produce, however it's totally necessary on instant noodles. Toilets. There are no western type public toilets in Kampot, but all proper bars have them, phew! Khmer toilets are everywhere, every bush, tree and sign is fair game. The Bum Gun. Possibly the best invention ever and has made possible the true paperless office. It's uses are many fold and range from the intended bum cleaning to ant control, but possibly my fave is mosquito killing, use the gun to shoot the buggers down and let surface tension do the rest. Doctoring. There's a Pharmacy opposite the market on the new bridge road, its a well stocked first call, from there its possibly best to check the new clinic near the new bridge road, from there PP and then Bangkok, best of all just don't get ill. Even if you are not ill you could always just have a medical treat, you could have an xray or body scan for $10 or so, so go on, spoil yourself.
KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012 Dehydration. This is what we all have to watch out for, it's all too easy not to drink enough, eventually you stop sweating and overheat, cooking yourself. So keep the fluids coming in. Elephants. No we do not have our own elephant but we do have one visit from time to time, it comes from Chook and pops down with a magic medicine man selling charms to the masses, it usually stops at the market but has been sighted on the Tek Chhou road heading for the rapids, probably on the way for a swim. Dangerous Animals. Reports of crocodile and shark attacks in the river are unproven, tiger and bear on the hill also have a disappointingly low body count, the last elephant reported apparently packed its trunk and headed off to join the circus, snakes and spiders are rarely seen due to their prominence on local menus, so it's unlikely you'll have any animal problems here, it's far more dangerous riding bikes. Dogs. Now these can be a problem. Most Khmer families have dogs (actually all dogs in Cambodia have the same name, dog, pronounced ch kai) and at night they put them on the streets to protect their property. Problem is that the later it gets the more the dogs protect, they form packs, gangs and send coded messages across town coordinating their attacks. When staggering home late, walk in the middle of the road with a confident pace, if you are hounded turn round sharply and cock your arm ready to throw imaginary stones at them, it works. If you do actually get bitten take it seriously and get rabies shots, preferably in the Pasteur Institute Phnom Penh, get them straight away and they're cheap, wait and you will get a huge bill or die. Cats. Most cats here are genetically stunted, well their tails are. They are not mutilated at
birth as some think, they actually come out that way, poor sods. It seems they were introduced by the French along with sparrows and pigeons, but in insufficient numbers so their gene pool is very limited. Malaria/Mosquitoes. There are no major malaria problems in Kampot, there are however many mosquitoes so get some deet on. If you intend on doing the hill put lots of deet on as there you can actually get malaria, oh and don't trust the local medicines as many are Chinese fakes, as they are too in many of the local clinics, so beware! Ants. All ants are bastards, ask any local or PotPat. Avoid encouraging them by not bringing food into your room, protect your drink with the condensation formed on your glass, produce a small puddle and the ants will leave your pop alone. Try not to stand in the same place too long, ants attack feet regularly, watch out for tree ants too, they're big red and usually attack from above. Local kids have found offensive uses for these savage creatures, it has been known for people to be hit by ant bombs, whole nests of pissed off tree ants are thrown at their intended target, devastating. Coconuts. Nuts are a real problem, they claim as many as 600 lives each year in Thailand, so avoid loitering around the bottom of nut trees, unless you want to help us beat the Thai's. Lightning. More than 100 deaths every wet season, and the last one was quite an average wet season! It's a good idea to think about where you are standing when it rains. Statues. Most road junctions are marked with a statue, it makes sense when a large part of the population cannot read, it makes it possible to travel long distances without maps or sign posts, i.e. go straight on at the rhino and then turn left at the horse.
Walking. It's safe walking in Kampot, but Photo Shop. There are a few capable photo couple of bag thefts have been reported shops in town, a couple on the main traffic recently, this is new and a very rare thing, so circle and one past the market. don't panic! Just avoid using bags, if you need a Internet and International Calls. There are bag look after it and only put the things you many net cafs in the city, some of them being need in it. situated along old bridge street and some on or Parking. Generally its OK to park anywhere in near to the front, all should be able to handle Kampot, but do have a look to see if you are voice over internet calls, CD burning, printing parking in someone's drive, Khmer get pissed and basic surfing. off if they can't get their land cruiser in the Book Shop. There is the newsagent near the drive, PotPats throw rocks at you, parking can main traffic circle and Kepler's books opposite be tough in some areas! So park outside the the old market, some guest houses also sell business you are visiting, or along the river side books. of the front. As to parking yourself it's best to take a room, sleeping out may cost you a lot more in fines! Electricity. Do not bet on the timing or length of power cuts, the supplier and Cambo 6 have the system rigged. Street Lighting. Don't expect any and you won't be disappointed. Some of the main areas now sport fancy lanterns and make for favourable routes across town, but sadly the majority of the city is without. Take a torch with you if you are staying out of the way and plan to be out late. Kep has recently installed street lighting along its beach front, this is not for the pleasure of tourists but to attract crabs. Banks. There are two main banks in Kampot, Acleda and Canadia, both should be able to help. Canadia Bank also has a new ATM that accepts all major cards with the ATM at Acleda only accepting Visa cards. A new bank with ATM has just opened on the PP road towards the market, too much choice! Post Office. Ah, opening times, er well this is Cambodia and things don't always run to strict timetables, but the best time I have found is mid morning, after that you are in unknown territory. The office will also close for every public holiday and half excuse. http://kampotsurvivalguide.blogspot.com 13 www.facebook.com/KampotSurvivalGuide/
KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012 Newsagent. Near the main traffic circle and alongside Borey Bokor II is a newsagent, its well stocked in Kampot terms and can be handy if you really want a copy of the previous days news, yes they keep them for odd sods like me. TV. We have cable TV here but the channel selection is limited, retune your set to access any new channels available. Pay per view is available for channels not normally supplied, a case of Anchor usually does it. Radio. There is one radio station you can receive on FM, Kampot's local one in Khmer, short wave gives you more choice but you can still only get 12 hrs of BBC. Weather. There are holes in the sky where the rain gets in, but they are only small, that's why rain is thin words of wisdom by Spine Millington. According to our weather team rainy season is over, so expect to get wet less often. If it does rain on you remember to claim your visa refund, $5 for each day of rain, be sure to save some rain as proof. Joking apart the rain always warns you when it's coming, if the wind gets up, take cover! Police. If you manage to get entangled with the police its probably best to get your guesthouse involved, do tell the PotPat's too as they love a good laugh, and don't expect sympathy from anyone, its a Khmer way to laugh at such things, especially death. Theft. There is very little theft in Kampot, but try not to put temptation in people's way. Your shoes however may well be in danger, this very real threat is from drunken backpackers, so watch out! Politics. There are three main parties operating within Kampot province, the Tupperware Party the Anne Summers Party and the Fancy Dress Party. It's best not to go too far into Khmer politics, just accept it. Corruption. There is no corruption in
Cambodia, none at all! The country, like all of its neighbours, is commission based, that's why it's so easy to do things here, everybody will help you because they earn a small fee for their effort. Commission. Please refer to corruption. Darling. A daily slow motorbike race come stunt bike trials along the river front, displays every night all along the front at sunset. Fishing Boat Race. Goksok is the current leader of the league but competition is hotting up, every afternoon around 5pm they race down the river to the rich pickings of the sea, it's a nail biting thriller that sets the frame for sunset and the end of another hectic day. Traffic Circle. Occasionally there are concerts, fairs and promotions at the main traffic circle, there may be live music, films, stalls and games to play, so get down there if you suspect something maybe on. Shrimp Fishing. Every evening you will see men with miners' lamps scouring the river banks hunting for shrimp. Its worth a look as the guys are always friendly. Fruit Stalls. Every evening old bridge street fills up with fruit shake stalls, various strange fruits are converted to fluid before your very eyes, it's worth a look. Line Dancing. At sunset in the park behind the old market local fatties attempt to loose excess weight, it's a serious affair and costs money to join in, though it's enough fun just watching. $100 Prize offered for the first reader with confirmed sightings of all listed characters, tick them off as you go, preferably with
Daily Events...
Local Characters...
KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012 photographic evidence and thumb prints. latest wounds at a local guest house, totally Crazy Frog. There are two contenders for the harmless and answers to Eric, though in an title of crazy frog, neither are French but angry fashion. both mimic their chosen idol closely, rarely Sand Man. Often seen scooting around on seen together but both parade the river front wheels or rowing his boat, usually looking for almost daily. lost shoes and food. Like most Scots he has Darth Vader. Large shiny foreigner seen strange sleeping habits so also look for him in cruising the front during opening hours, it is sand piles, ditches and drives, friendly to all. suspected that he is engaged in market research, Gnome. Can be seen traversing the roads late selected candidates are interrogated in situ at night in search of fluids, this rain ready wherever he catches them, watch out for this fellow has aspirations of being a jockey, so odd character. never turn your back on him, he also attempts Push Bikie Man (AKA Jack the Father or terminator impressions, usually friendly and JF). Sweaty skinny foreigner always seen mostly harmless. attached to some form of pedal powered Vibro Man. Submitted by David of H transport, Bokor Hill is no challenge for this Infamy's Spouse. This guy patrols the taxi guy so his local knowledge of impassable trails ranks practising his Bilbo Baggins impressions, is unsurpassed within the Province, often requiring vast amounts of fluids for these offensive to tourists and PotPats alike, performances he may well apply to you for approach with caution. sponsorship, and if he likes you he might even Racy Dog. Racy patrols a beat around the show you his collection of vibrating electrical 2000 monument, he is currently unbeaten by appliances, unmissable! any form of motor transport, probably all you Comba Crew. This trio of musically minded will see of him is his clean pair of heels as he folk perform mime and air guitar whilst passes you. keeping their eyes closed in fear of popping. Bag Lady. Seen cruising the streets on a Seen most evenings at musically minded bars. modified bicycle with basket, has a total Gandhi Man. This spindle legged fellow can obsession with plastic bags but is rarely seen with any, contact should be avoided. Mr Tongue. Seen performing at the home of gurning, a somewhat corroded establishment. Observed clearing his or others nostrils with his tongue, a must see. Mr Spoons. Utilising the latest spoon tuning techniques, Mr Spoons is devising new methods of mine detection and destruction. This pasty munching spoon playing jeep riding fella should be avoided in polite conversation. Last seen performing Indiana Jones impressions along the front. Predator. Following his successful movie career Predator has settled in the Pot, truth be told he actually twatted Arnie, anyhow you may catch sight of the big man either on land or water as he is a nautical type and mostly friendly. Bat Woman. Working a beat from the Pot to PP Bat Woman dispatches mosquitoes to Buddha for rapid reincarnation, sometimes seen wheilding two bats in a martial arts frenzy, somewhat akin to the star wars movies, at selected bars only. Ringo Starr (AKA Crash Test Dummy). This jovial fellow has crash tested most moto's on hire in Kampot, he will gladly show you his http://kampotsurvivalguide.blogspot.com 15 www.facebook.com/KampotSurvivalGuide/
be seen during the early evenings, usually clad with some form of writing and willing to sell books to anyone, friendly and usually harmless. Sausage Hunter (AKA Head Hunter). This mainly nocturnal lass can be seen scouting out new happy hours and local bars. Well versed with the worlds mating rituals and habits this Got feedback for us? post it here. www.facebook.com/KampotSurvivalGuide/ lass tracks down and secures her kills before closing time. Approach with caution. Rubber Band Man. This flexible fellow is KSG Users Comments... in training to become a one man band, A truly great beer mat substitute, J.S, UK. confirmed sightings are sporadic but Invaluable in a country without toilet paper, rewarding, dependant on his fluid level. A.M, SA. I couldn't read it but it stopped my Friendly but don't mention the ashes! table wobbling, W T Spain. Your guide is useless in Sihanoukville, M.H, USA. Pirates stole my copy! P.S, UK. My copy has killed at By Steve J (with a "P") least 50 mosquitoes, L.F, France. Where can I buy a copy of the legendary issue 4? S N, Snook. It's too thin for roaching, F.T NL. Kampot Street Food Guide Promise you will never translate this into Cheap Eats For About A Dollar. French, B.M. Fra. You never warned me about Spam Baguettes: half or full bread roll with wasps, can I sue? A.T. Aus. I extended my pleasure of your guide by soaking it in petrol two or three kinds of highly processed wtf so it burnt longer, T.W. Kep. I'm confused! F.G. ersatz meat (allegedly pork), shallot, cucumber and tomato with sweet or chili sauce. Price: Pot. When folded coffectly the rag makes a R1500 to R2500. Where: all around Kampot good weed pouch, J.B. USA. (look for the stack of baguettes on an ambling trolley) but centralized around the main traffic circle and down old bridge road in the evenings. SBs are also available in chicken and pork versions but while the meat is recognizable, they are more expensive and meat portions can be parsimonious. Fruit Drinks: identifiable and exotic fruits of your choice are placed in a blender and emulsified with sweetened condensed milk, coconut milk, sugar, Milo, ice and possibly an egg. Tastes a lot better than it sounds but insulin dependent diabetics should approach with caution. Price: R2000. Where: on the old bridge road and on the Kep road just past the Two Cows intersection and on a peripatetic trolley coming soon to you. Sweet Food: another workout for your pancreas. Bananas, beans, sticky rice, ginger and other fruits are sliced and diced and placed in a marinade of sweetened condensed milk, coconut milk liquefied sugar and egg and served in a plastic cup with a spoon. Again, better than the description would indicate. Price: R1000. Where: on the old bridge road, down from the Canadia bank ATM and in front of the cake shop at the main traffic circle. Noodles: a half a liter of normal saline is added 16 www.facebook.com/KampotSurvivalGuide/ http://kampotsurvivalguide.blogspot.com
of popcorn hanging from their sides. Where: often based near the post office on riverside in the evening but also around town. Price: R500 for the small and R1000 for the large bag. Duck Embryos: strictly for the culinary adventurous S.E. Asia traveler, or expats who have lost the plot entirely, an unhatched duckling is boiled in its shell and eaten with a spoon. The duckling should be sufficiently formed so as to be el dente. Where: on the old bridge road and on the Kep road just past the Two Cows intersection. Price: R1500. BarBQued Squid: dried small squid are stacked and suspended from the sides of peregrinating trolleys where they resemble decks of cards with tentacles or something from a low budget SCI FI movie. Chock full of high tensile seafoody flavour, your chosen squid are served for takeaway, lightly toasted over charcoal with a chili dipping sauce. An excellent spicy beef jerky is often sold from the same trolley. Where: often based on the riverside strip but also on touring trolleys around town. Price: R1000 to R2000 per serve. Steamed Sweet Corn: Look for the dark yellow variety as this is generally sweet
to generic dried packet noodles and then various goodies are added to the mix. Some of these goodies are recognizable. The plastic flavouring sachets are sometimes left in the bowl at serving, possibly to provide extra dietary roughage but more likely to demonstrate that you are eating a quality product. This is an excellent allround nutritious and electrolyte replacement meal. Price: R2000 to R4000 for the chock full of wtf protein version. Where: everywhere. Look for the stack of packet noodles on stalls or rambling trolleys. Ice Cream: despite popular travel guide books warning to the contrary, Kampot expats do eat locally made ice cream from meandering trolleys without subsequently going to the toilet a lot. There are at least four sellers in town but look for the man with the itinerant bicycle powered trolley along riverside. Price: R500 to R1000 Popcorn: The sweet variety familiar to Westerners and generally of high quality. Note however that unpopped corn is poorly sorted from popped and indiscriminately biting down on one of these kernels may cost you a dental filling. Look for gallivanting trolleys with bags http://kampotsurvivalguide.blogspot.com
KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012 whereas the white variants only function seems to be the alleviation of constipation by ingesting a mega hit of dietary fiber. Corn is steamed and served hot with a coating of butter which is actually margarine, egg and sugar mix much more palatable than the ingredients suggest. BarBQued white corn is also everywhere should your constipation prove resistant to the steamed version. Where: often based on the riverside strip but also drifting. Price: R1300 per cob but slight fluctuations according to seasonal availability. Grilled Beef: small portions of sliced, seasoned beef on a bamboo skewer cooked over charcoal and served with shredded sweet and sour green papaya with a dipping jus. Where: makeshift stall near the FM building at the 2000 Roundabout and promenading all around Kampot. Price: R500 per stick. Bread: generally sold as baguettes in small, large and jumbo versions. An inexpensive and filling way to overcome your cravings for Western food and best bought in the mornings to guarantee freshness. Where: Look for the Man With No Shirt bakery about 50 meters down the road from Epic Arts or a further 50 meters along that road and round the corner to your left also sold in the market. Price: R500 R1000 R1500 according to size. Sugarcane Juice: hand cranked or electrically powered mangles are used to extract the juice from stalks of sugarcane and half a lime which is then served over crushed ice very refreshing. Iced black tea (Number 1 Brand) with lime juice and sugar is also excellent. Where: both inside and outside of the market or look for the stacks of sugarcane and often brightly painted mangles around town. Price: R1000 per glass. Coconuts: (Cocos nucifera) al fresco, nutritious refreshment in a portable and hygienic
container. Where: everywhere around Kampot look for the stack of green coconuts outside shops and stalls. Price: R1500 Roasted Peanuts: small, highly flavoured peanuts (Arachis hypogaea), roasted in the shell and often sold by Cham Muslim ladies who circumambulate around Kampot carrying large aluminum basins of the legume on their heads. A larger variant is sold boiled in salted water in the shell. Where: Circumambulating. Price: R1000 per serve. Cut Fruit Trolley: assorted peeled and sliced fruits behind glass on a traveling trolley.
KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012 Where: often based on the riverside strip but also migratory. Price: R500 R1000 per serve. A general note: the prices quoted are the local known base line prices at the time of writing (September 2011) and should be taken as a guide for what you should expect to pay.
By Irvin S.
KSG ACE Reporter.
Over a year of unproductive, though thoroughly boozy negotiations with shadowy intermediaries went into securing this KSG exclusive interview with the infamous Mr. S. (with a P), who, because of persistent assassination threats of his own invention, keeps his whereabouts a closely guarded secret, even to himself. Suddenly and without warning Head Teaser, KSG Ace reporter was willingly drugged, blindfolded and kidnapped from a late night Kampot watering hole where he was enjoying one too many Pastis with a lady he was beginning to suspect was in fact no lady but one of Kampots infamous ladyboys, a day or two way past the local constabulary and into a promising Paris cabaret career. overdue for a shave. Stripped, deloused and hermetically sealed in a With only his dim wits and a few pennies in his pocket, he set out to make his fortune, and clear pondmaking bomb casing, he was flown aimlessly around the globe for several days in a his tarnished name. Many years later Mr. S (taking a P), due to his obscene wealth, is so far convincingly converted B52 bomber. above the law that he breathes bottled Bokor Disoriented, naked, indignant and suffering a massive Pastis hangover, he was finally cut free Mountain oxygen to survive the rarified atmosphere of the obscenely rich. He spends of his unexploded ordinance suit and his spare time petting his pampered Siamese unceremoniously dumped at the feet of a pussy Cleo, and drafting laws granting him surprisingly nondescript Mr. S. (having a P). Despite persistent rumors that the reclusive Mr. global immunity from prosecution. He is so rich that governments borrow bailout money S. (with P) is certifiably mad, his multi from him at 5 percent above market rates. quadrillion Euro bank account begs to differ. Reported to be the richest man in the world, he He controls a global empire of shady is the son of an alcoholic Welsh coal miner and enterprises ranging from Chinese laundries in New York City, where no ticky no washy has a lump of coal he learned to call Mum. Professing a fear of dragons, the colour red and catapulted him to the pinnacle of the lucrative slightly used clothing market, to one of his words containing double lls to this day Mr. S (Ping himself) chooses not to wrap himself in most recent success stories, the franchise chain of Endangered Species Restaurant and Pool the Welsh flag,. Hall locations throughout SE Asia which are At the age of 16 he lost his humility in an now showing explosive growth in China where unfortunate incident with an underage endangered means strong yang and happy classmate named Llella. He confirms, with a endings. wistful sneer that he cleverly eluded arrest by My philosophy is that if it sounds too crazy, disguising himself as an itinerant fan dancer, and with a cunning array of stunts waltzed his outlandish, or just plain stupid to be true, that http://kampotsurvivalguide.blogspot.com 19 www.facebook.com/KampotSurvivalGuide/
How would you like yours done?
Cainine Cuisine
KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012 theres a 99.9% probability that theres a fortune to be made. I and my minions then develop a crafty business model and franchise it like a mad dog in the noonday sun before anyone realizes how truly insane and unworkable an idea it really is. The best thing about franchising is that it attracts morons who couldnt come up with an original idea on their own, and are just rich and dimwitted enough to buy into my get rich quick schemes early on. If its a ground floor opportunity with a track record shorter than a pugs snout, the suckers will be barking to get in, at premium prices. He uses sophisticated computer models and a transsexual Gypsy fortune teller to gauge the exact moment a few cleverly planted news stories in the business press will create critical mass and start a stampede of rabid investors. My printing arm, Federated Underdog Canine Kennels, Yiddish Orthodox Unlimited can hardly print up the franchise agreements fast enough, he states with characteristic understatement. When asked about his latest foray into the mysterious world of franchising the weird and bizarre, Mr. S. (Ping himself) barked out a laugh and continued, So youve heard of Dogs Bollocks. It is the snack food franchise opportunity of the century, says the entrepreneurial brains behind the bollocks. I have a gift, he snickers maniacally. I see opportunity in the oddest places, in this case square behind the hind legs of randy male mutts. With a conspiratorial sneer he explained that in a protein and snack food hungry world it was a simple matter of mathematics. Too many dogs with too many easily harvestable parts, plus an abundant supply of coconut oil for deep frying, equals the scent of obscene profits. I had my people prototype a fully rounded product line. We modified egg poachers to cook the bollocks in our secret recipe of 28 herbs and spices. We then blind taste tested the early products on blind Koreans as they already have a highly developed appreciation for canine cuisine. The first Dogs Bollocks outlets opened in the North Korean market, largely because the Beloved Leader is easily bribed, and starving people will eat anything. There were a few bugs in the process but we were able to work them out when we found that by increasing the cooking temperature not only http://kampotsurvivalguide.blogspot.com
did we vaporize the bugs, but the product came out of the cooker faster and no longer had that disconcerting squishy texture. Head Teasers hangover had quickly migrated from his aching head to his churning guts. He swore off Pastis forever before asking Mr. S. about the current state of the business. He hoped it contained no more references to egg poachers, cooking temperatures or textures squishy or otherwise. We are currently test marketing in Korea, China and Cambodia with promising results. We lure the suckers in with sexy western advertising featuring scantily dressed models lapping up Dogs Bollocks while looking, shall we say, receptive to the Bollocks mystique. It takes a lot of work to convince people to bite into Dogs Bollocks for the very first time. Once youve tasted Dogs Bollocks just once, youre hooked, and its not because theyre so tasty, theyre not at all really. He drooled on, Our top dog in the research labs, Dr. Rover Fetchum, tells me you cant eat just one. Its because one of the 28 herbs is highly addictive. Some may say its not ethical, but ethics have never been one of my strong suits. All I care is that the consumers simply 20 www.facebook.com/KampotSurvivalGuide/
cannot gobble up enough Dogs Bollocks. market. We are also perfecting our line of fresh We reinvest our post commission profits to bollocks smoothies, including Poodle Passion, cutting edge research and product development. Malamute Madness and Rottweiler Rocks. Our canine genetic scientists have been Two months ago we assisted our Cambodian working their tails off in our secret laboratory Master Franchise holder Mr. Hot Chee Lee to buried deep beneath an unmapped and never begin prelaunch advertising in Kampot demined pond site that even I cant find. I pay Cambodia. He was a bit of a rascal and thought my people to work like dogs to come up with he could bypass the supply chain by innovative ways to improve profitability, which dognapping stock off the streets in the dark of is what franchising is all about, said Mr. S night. (with a side of Peas). Apparently after taking him on a solo Our lead scientist, Dr. F.I. Doe has done some Abduction Tour where he was shown what an amazing work in the area of recombinant dog AK47 can do to a cow, he immediately saw the nad antagonists or DNA. One early discovery was that Dogs Bollocks are a rich source of vitamin K9, allowing us to market Dogs Bollocks as a health food snack. Unfortunately too much K9 will make you curl up, jerk your legs and whine while chasing rabbits in your dreams, before dying like a cur. My scientists assure me that they have almost licked the problem and will be able to deliver the pleasant side effects while cutting the death rate to an acceptable 1.85 percent. With his luck running at under 2 percent, Head Teaser made a note to himself never, ever to eat a single Dogs Bollock, with or without the special BBQ sauce. Looking to the future, we have started crossing Great Danes with elephants, which will give us a huge profit edge in the sliced bollocks on a bun market. We havent been as successful with the fish/dog cross as the dog part keeps drowning chasing the fishy tail. Then there is the enormous cost associated with cleaning the breeding ponds. We now consider the fillet of bollocks with tartar sauce a wash. Thanks to some breakthroughs with Chihuahua fast breeders, Bollocks McNuggets are much more promising, with snack packs of 6, 12 and a 24 family pack already on the http://kampotsurvivalguide.blogspot.com 21 www.facebook.com/KampotSurvivalGuide/
light and started buying all his bollocks from nourishment the needed, but would have the central warehousing. added benefit of weightless exercise using Hes now selling everything we can supply, chopsticks to chase loose Bollocks in zero not just through his own Dogs Bollocks Fast gravity. Food Restaurant and Dailem Repair Shop, but Three days later when the KSG ACE reporter has taken to supplying some of the better dining woke up in a state of naked dishevelment he establishments in Kampot. He tells me that he couldnt remember if his notes and will have problems keeping up with the demand recollections were all just part a bad Pastis in Kep, where the local lads just cant get dream or something far more sinister. enough ballocks to satisfy the gay approach to Looking up through bloodshot eyes he saw a fine dining. neon sign advertising Dogs Bollocks Bonanza Head teaser was considering pouring hot wax days where kiddies were given a neutered into his ears to stop the madness when he heard poodle toy with every snack pack of Dogs that Mr. Chee Lee has even taken it to the Bollocks. After a couple of hours of retching he streets where cart vendors are lapping up Dogs filed this story, vowing never to drink Pastis Bollocks by the kilo, deep frying them in again. slightly used coconut oil, slapping them into By Alan HT KSG Ace Reporter. baguettes and calling it meat ball yumyum. By George, Chee Lee has taken the business by the balls and shown the locals that Dogs Bollocks are nothing to be sniffed at. Ask Lucky With a terrier like tenacity and their research to Answering your questions induce small breeds to produce not just bigger, about living in Kampot but more than two marketable sized bollocks at an artificially enhanced rate, Dogs Bollocks is Thinking about starting a business in Kampot? Not sure if another Bar, Restaurant, Guesthouse projected to be a multitrillion dollar industry is really the way to go in a competitive market by the end of year one. Mr. S. (now Pless) but racking your brain for alternatives? As a went on to explain that all of his market public service, Lucky gives you twelve research tells him that within a year there will thoroughly researched Totally Awesome be a chain of Dogs Bollocks Restaurants in Kampot Business Concepts. every country on the planet, except France Dogs R Us where lap poodle has an entirely different This one will give you something to bark meaning. We will even lift our bollocks into outer space. about! Catch dogs at night and sell them back to their owners in the morning or auction to the Weve signed a promotional deal with the highest bidder. This is a high turnover, low International Space station where Dogs overhead business with almost unlimited Bollocks will be served three times a day on supply and demand. With over 450,000 dogs in live television. By now Head Teaser was 200% certain that Mr. Kampot, it would be financially viable to work S (taking the Piss out of him), was told that not on 25 cents per dogcaptureunit (DCU) generating an income of $112,000 per night or only would the astronauts get all the http://kampotsurvivalguide.blogspot.com 22 www.facebook.com/KampotSurvivalGuide/
KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012 2.7 million dollars per month gross assuming a six day working week and limited time off for injury. Anti Eco Resort Are you passionate about chaos and a big fan of apocalypse movies? This could be the business for you! Buy or better still lease a pristine rainforest block of land around Kampot. Supply your guests with canisters of Agent Orange defoliant and chainsaws and a choice of toxic chemicals and unleash them on the landscape. Supply them with guns and grenades to shoot things and blow shit up. Once your land looks like ground zero of a nuclear test site, lease another one. Target the growing tourism niche market needs of psychopaths, environmental anarchists and nihilists with money. Guilt Trips Youve never had it so good. This is an ideal Ethical Tourism business venture with a huge potential to rake in big bucks and no down sides. Conduct tour groups and provide photo opportunities complete with a grim running commentary to sites of filth, misery, wretched squalor, grinding poverty and ghastly atrocities. Play Leonard Cohen songs on the car sound system while traveling between sites. Apart from the money you make and there will be plenty of it you will have a warm inner glow knowing that your customers can now rejoice in their newfound awareness of their own relative affluence and good fortune. Grief Counseling Nothing screams Caring more than Counseling. This is an ideal spinoff business from Guilt Trips (above). Studies have repeatedly shown that 98% of people who have been exposed to Leonard Cohen songs feel mildly suicidal following one song and acutely suicidal following as little as three. Listening to a complete Leonard Cohen album is clinically regarded as a toxic level of exposure. There are mega bucks to be made in helping these sufferers and some of this action might as well be yours. Remember to offer a free voucher for an additional Guilt Trip once the Suffering Customer (SC) appears completely cured. Unexploded Ordinance Disposal and Learn Khmer This business concept is a blast. A completely untapped, limited liability Adventure Tourism business geared to adrenaline junkies and the http://kampotsurvivalguide.blogspot.com
linguistically curious. Tour participants will get to defuse active land mines and other UXO following an intensive ten minute training session conducted entirely in Khmer. Since most customers will die, you will not need to worry about negative feedback on Trip Advisor so its all winwin. This business has the added potential of attracting NGO funding. The Riel Deal This one is solid gold for anyone with a little capital to invest! Everyone in Kampot is now walking around with fake Gold Rolexs on their wrist. It doesnt take too much intelligence to realize that Kampot people have no choice but to buy knockoff watches because no one in town has the business acumen to set up a shop selling genuine $50,000 Gold Rolexes! Heres where you come in. A hundred million dollars (two hundred million tops) will get you set up with your first tray of watches, an umbrella, a stall outside Kampot market and a nice little earner. Get Paid To Talk Like An Expat We live in the Information Age and its time to get paid what you are worth! Expats are not born, they are created. Much like a Warrior Monk or Zen Master, the Venerable Elder
KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012 Expat (VEE) has gained their knowledge through years of adversity, often involving financial losses, relationship breakdowns and surviving the worst that cultural dissonance could throw at them. The VEEs pearls of wisdom and nuanced awareness of the culture did not come easy and access to this kind of information is worth money truckloads of it. The next time a tourist asks your opinion about some aspect of living in Kampot, charge the information freeloader for it. A suggested fee schedule is: Short Answer Fee= $10 Long, loud, rambling, drunken, opinionated, sexist, racist, incoherent, repetitive, ShitYouToTears Answer Fee= $50. Kampot Air Repair This one will see your profits flying high. Many of the major airlines are looking to outsource the maintenance on their jumbo jets to developing countries as a means of cutting costs. Kampot has skilled metal fabricators, machinists, mechanics, roof tilers, stone masons, concreters and brick layers. In fact all of the skills required to service and maintain a jumbo jet are right here in Kampot. It just needs someone to integrate them and that someone might as well be you. Imagine the look on the
CEO of Lufthansas face when you quote him a price for replacing the concrete pavers on the planes wings. $6.50 per square meter. Laid. In Concrete. Unbeatable. Throw in a free iced coffee. No? Can discount further. No?? OKso how much you want to pay? The Real Kampot By Night This business concept is like, a totally amazing blend of Extreme Adventure and Booze Tourism. Aimed at alcoholic tourists wanting to experience the nontouristy Real Cambodia, you will provide pushbikes for your customers and escort them on dusk until dawn tour of the primitive Khmer grass hut drinking establishments that surround Kampot. Since most of your clients will be unused to riding a poorly maintained pushbike in the dark on dirt roads with several liters of palm wine in their system, many will sustain severe injuries requiring hospitalization. Your customers will then get to have an authentic and unforgettably awesome experience in A Real Cambodian Hospital. Business Workshops Chalk this one up to experience! Looking for that elusive business concept where existing supply does not exceed demand for the next hundred years? Draw down on your own experience and offer a range of training sessions and workshops for the newly arrived business hopefuls. Suggested workshops include: How to hemorrhage money slowly Seven tips to minimize your profits Why success in not really an option Self medication: 250 drugs that will keep you going How to be at the head of the pack in the race to the bottom Angry meditation: the path to embracing despair Keeping secrets: why having too much information can make your head hurt What to do when your partner goes crazy What to do when you go crazy The probability of everyone else having gone crazy and you are the only sane one left Who is going to clean up the mess? Five signs you are losing the plot Six things the bastards never told me Another 562 things the bastards never told me Smiling Financial Assassin Assistant This business plan is so simple youll wonder why someone didnt think of it before. Most
people from developed countries arrive in Kampot with a lot of money but no idea what they should pay for goods and services. This is very, very sad and these people badly need a friendwhy not you? Offer to use your extensive local knowledge to get the things they need. Now buy these things from the seller at 750% above the real market rate. The seller (ideally your cousin Reggie or other relative) will give you a big commission for bringing them the business and of course the bigger the markup, the bigger the commission!! Your new friend will be so grateful for your help they will insist on paying you. Now you make money coming and going. Everybody happyhow good is that? Become an Engrish Teacher As sweet as! Think you dont have the skills to start a business? Wrong! You speak Engrish and there are big bucks in teaching others to speak it too. Nothing shows your impeccable credentials for teaching Engrish than a perfectly worded advertisement. Like this: Are you boring and scary of speaking the Engrish and doing the document? Maybe people laugh you because Engrish no good and make you want to stick fork in your eye or run away because shame so much? We not Mickey Mouse although not mean not love him two much and have T shirt. Our dedicate and experience Engrish teacher will help you loose the scary. Hurry up for quickly! Am limited places and have tigers. For more information: Do not contact (Your Name) on (Your phone) Copy and paste the above, take to print shop, print sufficient copies to put on every tree in Kampot and watch the dollars roll in.
By Irvin S. KSG ACE Reporter.
The editor delivered my assignment in a single sentence. With beads of recycled Klang running down his furrowed brow and waving a limpid arm in the direction of the river he articulated he wanted 1000 words on Pot Faggots, copy for the 'morrow to meet print deadline. Sheeeit, a double whammy for a junior hack with a precarious toehold on the bottom rung of a very tall ladder. The usage of the word deadline was worrying as it doesn't feature in Khmer and certainly I had never heard deployed in KSG offices. Might this herald a radical shift in managerial policy or perhaps we were being bought out by a media conglomerate? Dismissing such thoughts as being beyond my ken I concentrated more on the plexing issue of the Faggots. It was a dilemna a conundrum of unfathomable depths because, given no reference, my grey matter was unsuccessfully navigating three paths in the use of English. Faggots in the vernacular refers to Gender Benders however there also exists two other possibilities. The first is a Faggot which is akin to a rissole but made from offal this also involves a lot of mincing. The other Faggots are what the Brits used to spark up Joan of Arc. In all my nocturnal wanderings of our darkened streets armed only with torch and catapult I was witness to many curious happenings but Faggots never. Could it be, I mused, a reemergence of the Singapore Slings? A part of recent Pot folklore this small band of willowy Filipino lads were forcibly evicted from their homes and occupations in Boogie Street leaving them not only stigmatised but also facing a degrading life of poverty. Desperate and needing a new start in greener and friendlier pastures they 25 www.facebook.com/KampotSurvivalGuide/
What are they and do we need them?
KAMPOT FAGGOTS
KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012 stole the Raffles Hotel tourist junk. Fortuitously one of the band had served two years of unpaid forced labour aboard a Thai factory ship where he was galley maid and general facscrotum. He passed many hours at the chart table where he gleaned a little about navigation. With this scant knowledge, a kindly wind and a lot of luck they eventually were to make landfall on the Pot river estuary. They requested asylum and from a populace sympathetic to the plight of refugees received a cordial welcome. It was here in Pot they quickly became famous. Allowed once again to wear their fabulous sequinned dresses, blond wigs, high heels and whitener, for a whole dry season packed the old market to sellout crowds every weekend. Sadly success often leads to burn out and in their case severe Potylitus ( an endemic S.E. Asian medical condition brought about by non payment for services rendered ). However this story does have a happy ending. Their local mentor, by now filthy rich, was feeling the tongs of cake dividers on his newly clean collar knowing this particular gravy train had reached the end of the rails it was time for the Slingers to disappear. So in exchange for indefinite stay visas they went into voluntary exile to Kep where, as enterprising as ever, they reside in quiet opulence having cornered the lucrative niche stray dog market. Knowing this wasn't the solution and having tramped the length of our beautiful corniche several times without the mereist sniff of a faggot I was tired, dejected and idealess. Seeking solace with a cold beer I idly gazed at our, once, huge and exotic aromatic hardwood trees that before adorned the riverfront. Sadly they are now a collection of shattered limbless stumps pointing skywards resembling more the aftermath of a B52 strike than tree surgery. Evidence of this appalling authority condoned massacre was everywhere with mounds of leaves, branches, mud, bark and jagged chips half blocking the road. It was then inspiration struck and and vaulting aboard a nearby Motodop instructed the blackhead squeezing driver to follow the debris. Completely unfazed and with no direction given he replied OK and 20,000. Too excited to even haggle we made way on his decrepid protesting Daelim, doomed forever to be stuck in second gear, over the New Bridge and down the road to Tek Chhou. Close to the Zoo I encountered groups of men, woman and http://kampotsurvivalguide.blogspot.com
children hacking, sawing, chopping, bundling the once mighty boughs that graced and shaded Pot's most scenic thoroughfare There also were the Pot Faggots, great stacks of them, a veritable Synod of Faggots. My investigative nose twitched. Such toils over this municipal manna must surely be profit driven. To confirm my suspicions and close the story we grinded our way back to Pot and the main traffic roundabout. There parked was my ultimate destination a small sandwich trolley. With a single bite and a deep sniff closure was confirmed. The smokey aroma, the resinous consistancy and the lingering taste of melted flipflop is not only unique but extraordinary. A product of capitalistic ethics combined with the ingenuity and skill of our bakers using bargain priced Pot Faggots to fire their French built ovens has taken an already internationally famous and acclaimed culinary delicacy to even dizzier heights. The legend of the Pot Spam Baguette continues to grow.
By Uncle Fran KSG Official Distorian.
Knowing a few phrases in Khmer always earns smiles and nods of approval from locals as well as crusty expatriates who are fluent in the Cambodian language. Unlike Thai or Vietnamese, Khmer is not a tonal language and is therefore not difficult to master. As a basic guide, Khmer has 87 vowels 43 of which are pronounced as the letter a (a=apple) and 39 pronounced as the letter e (e=egg). The remaining 5 vowels have no equivalent sound in any of the IndoEuropean languages and are either silent, useless or can be safely ignored. There are only 2 consonants, the letter p (p=pastrami) and the letter z which can be pronounced as either zed (female) or zee (male) according to the gender of the person speaking or being spoken to. Grammatical structure is simplicity itself with sentences following the format verbverbverbadverbverb (e.g. go, go, go quickly go) except where the past tense is indicated. In this case the structure is reversed or the consonant zed is added to the end of the sentence where the speaker is female or
An introduction to the language.
Learn some useful Khmer
transsexual or at least committed to a sex change operation. The future tense is universally indicated by the inclusion (and therefore the absence) of a silent vowel at the beginning of the sentence. Correct pronunciation of the 82 audible a and e vowel sounds can present a challenge as while there are no tonal inflections, subtle changes in meaning are conveyed by the volume with which the letter is said, the age and status of the person speaking, the ambient temperature and the proximity to a Buddhist festival.. Generally, the safest practice for a novice is to say all a and e sounds as loudly as possible, bow or genuflect repeatedly while speaking and trust that meaning is construed contextually. We at the KSG have put together some of the more commonly used English phrases with a Latinized phonetic Khmer (and therefore more vowels and consonants) translation to help get you started. Khmer: Nis thlay Australie cab plonk Heathcliffe awt tay nuance English: This Australian CabernetSauvignon wine is dark and brooding but lacks subtlety.
English: I want a Hum Vee vehicle so I can be a big cheese like the lovely Arnold Schwarzenegger Khmer: Nis thlay trad kmai nuptial Milli Vanilli tomtom bose ear Ow! Ow! Angkor English: This is a traditional Khmer wedding using fake 200,000W Bose speakers that have been in my family since Angkorian times Khmer: Nis thlay trad krama ot saart same same Ernest Borgnine. Puoomann Christian dOr? English: This is bad krama. Wearing it makes me look like the actor Ernest Borgnine. How much for one made by Christian dOr?
Khmer: Srey? Lady Gaga katoey massa anxiety khnum c dos run English: The artist Lady Gaga is of questionable gender and I must respectfully decline a massage from him/her Khmer: Loi klie samesame Imelda Marcos. Loi tictic khnum WMD pasar Imelda Marcos humpy. English: These shoes are too expensive. Give me a discount or I will unleash Weapons of Mass Destruction on your shoe stall.
Khmer: Anglais yeay gullible yeay Kmai samesame English: The English word gullible is the only word spelled and pronounced the same in the Khmer language. Khmer: Khnum DaewooTico cheeh awt tay Liberace bling bling English: My Daewoo Tico lacks performance, style and street creditability.
By Irvin S.
KSG ACE Reporter.
Khmer: Khnum jang baan Hummer tom prahok sa art arnie term in ator http://kampotsurvivalguide.blogspot.com
Found something not listed, tell us here. 27 www.facebook.com/KampotSurvivalGuide/
Things you didn't know about Kampot.
1. Kampot led the Cambodian space race during the 1950's and 60's as Bokor Hill was used for test launchings of their experimental Wooung Gao Soo Gomlung rockets. 2. Kampot changed its name shortly after Kep was named, it was renamed specifically to avoid any confusion with Kep, the name is derived from two words Kamp and Not. 3. Bokor Hill used to be a proper mountain with a pointy top, but the French stole it. 4. In 1967 Kampot FC toured Europe on an extensive and unbeaten tour. 5. Kampot was originally built around a system of canals akin to Venice, sadly due to neglect these waterways have silted and dried, only to be seen during exceptionally heavy rains. 6. Bokor Hill is still an active volcano, difficult to see during the wet season but all throught the dry times you will see smoke rising from all round the hill. 7. Kampot City is larger than the City of London, in both size and population.
There are many ways you can spend your time doing good in Kampot, listed below are a few NGO's and projects that could do with your help, either by donating or volunteering.
Projects & Voluntary Work...
Epic Arts Caf. The place to be if you have a sweet tooth or have a liking for good coffee, run by and for the disabled, it helps! So get down there. They also have a new performance centre and workshops near the friendship monument, (the one with the guns) check the cafe for further details. Kampot Traditional Music School. Pop in and check them out, Khmer music and dance is not all karaoke based and some is really good, so is the dance so check them up and book yourself a performance. Sisters II / Heritage Orphanage. Cafe fare and internet in one building, breakfasts, cakes and sandwiches to feast on whilst doing your email. The cafe funds a small orphanage near to the Olympic stadium, so drop by and help support the kids. Kep Gardens Association is a nonprofit, independent project established by Australians to provide education and training in English, hospitality, mechanical and civil engineering, computing and farming skills as well as sponsor ongoing higher education through our Educational Scholarship Fund for the Khmer people of Kep. Australians and Cambodians working together. Prek Thnout Community. Save Cambodia's Wildlife started this project back in 2007, it is now running nicely and offers village homestay visits and day trips. Also trekking to local falls, rattan furniture production and boat trips to see dolphins. It's 30km towards Snook but it's best to check with SCW first on 088 902 2099. Chumkriel Language School (CLS) is a Cambodian operation striving to provide accessible education and assistance to the local community. CLS requests a minimum placement of one week and requires all volunteers to be aged 18 years and over. clskampot@gmail.com If you know of any other NGO's or projects that deserve a mention, please do let us know, we really want to expand this section.
KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012 We at the KSG apologise for our lack of detailed travel info, there is a reason for this, it's because this is a guide for Kampot, it's purpose is to give you ideas to stay, so we're buggered if we're going to help you get away!
Transport...
Some Useful Numbers...
Tuk Tuk. The first choice of transport these days, most of Kampot and the surrounding area can be accessed by Tuk Tuk in all weathers, popular trips are down to Kep, mangroves, pepper plantation and caves, or up to the rapids, zoo and beach. Moto. These guys can make your stay good, using their translation skills you will explore more. Find them all around town but the best speaking ones hang between the traffic circle and the bus stop. Moto Rental. Either your guesthouse can sort it out or you can pop on down to the shops and pick your own, make sure you are happy with it and check it has lights if you plan to ride at night. Wherever you go be careful, especially of the cows. Bicycle Rental. Some guesthouses offer rental of bikes, mainly basic bone shakers so don't get too excited, although some tour companies have mountain bike rental too, so use the shitty bike to find a nice one. Bus/Taxi. The easiest way to sort this is through your guesthouse, they earn a small amount of commission for this that covers their telephone costs etc, if you are a really tight git you could go down the bus stop and haggle. Night Busses. We do not reccommend them, you won't get the sleep you think you will and therefore will miss a day you could have enjoyed, they are also quite dangerous.
ABC. Bar Red GH. Bart the Boatman. Blissful GH. Bluestar Real Estate. Bodhi Villa GH. Bokor Mt Lodge. Borey Bokor I GH. Bungalow Kampot River. Cafe Expresso. Cozy Elephant GH. Diamond Hotel Epic Arts Cafe. Farm Link. Ganesha GH. Green House. Hour Kheang GH. Kampot GH. Kampot Pie & Ice Cream Palace. Kampot River View GH. Kampot Survival Guide. Kep Gardens Ass. Kepler's Books. Lee & Pop's. Le Soleil d'Or. Le Niam Bay. Little Garden Bar GH. Long Villa GH. Magic Sponge. Mea Culpa GH. Olly's Place. Orchid GH. Paris GH. Pepper GH. Pizza 36. Rikitikitavi GH. Salt + Pepper. Say Sabok. Ta. Eng GH. Tiny Kampot Pillows. Tuk tuk, Chak kan. Utopia GH. Villa Vidici GH.
0972560585 077997096 092174280 092494331 012611317 012728884 033932314 092978168 011523627 092388736 092610284 0336300800 092922069 0333902354 092724612 016204134 0889979989 012512931 099657826 012821570 092724720 015653317 012306410 016592735 086295894 067569943 012427572 092251418 017946428 012504769 092605837 092226996 033932330 017822626 0972204169 012235102 099219004 012927897 012330058 099719421 012456935 0977560164 089290714
ABC. French run new bar in the place of the old Honey bar. Aiming for the musically minded with events and jam nights every Saturday, offering unique cocktails, French style snacks till 9pm and standard bar wares, closed Wednesday. Bamboo Light Cafe. Khmer run SriLankan bar restaurant on the front, full menu and bar, nice surroundings and great sunset views. BarRed. Under new management, English run late night bar restaurant and guest rooms just off the front. Cambodia draught beer at all day happy hour prices + all usual bar wares, free WIFI. Rooms have fan, TV, en suite, English and Khmer spoken. Blissful Guest House. French/Brit run bar restaurant and guest house in the heart of town, nice gardens and chill areas, draught beer and wide selection of food, some cooked in a wood fired oven. Rooms $5 10, dorm $2, fan, en suite, garden, WIFI, English and Khmer spoken. Bodhi Villa. Aus run bar restaurant and guest house on the west bank, riverside seating, pontoon, pool table, chill out atmosphere with late night opening. Rooms, bungalows and floating rooms $4 8, fan, river view, water sports, English and Khmer spoken. Bokor Mountain Lodge. Kiwi run bar restaurant and hotel on the front, classical colonial architecture with a large river frontage, great sunset views, international menu and well stocked bar. Rooms $35 45, AC, HW, fan, TV, en suite, river view, WIFI, English & Khmer spoken. Bungalow Kampot River. New Khmer run bar restaurant and guest house on the west bank of the river, riverside bungalows $6, fan, river view, WIFI, English and Khmer spoken. Cafe Expresso. New Australian style breakfast cafe. Specialty coffee, roasted on site, ground fresh, baked goods, home made condiments, good vegetarian options & daily lunch specials. Just around the corner from epic arts cafe. open 8am till late afternoon free wifi. Cozy Elephant Guest House. French/Khmer run guest house near the taxi stand. Rooms $4 12, dorm $2.50, AC, HW, fan, en suite, WIFI, free bicycle rental, English, French and Khmer spoken. Diamond Hotel. Bar, Restaurant and hotel just off the new bridge road, rooms $2040, TV, AC, HW, en suite, English and Khmer spoken. Epic Arts Cafe. Open from 7am till 6pm offering breakfasts, lunches, coffee and cakes. Run by and for people with disabilities, they also have a performance arts centre, pop in to learn more. Frangipani. New Aus run bar and restaurant on the front, draught beer and a pool table with a full Western and Khmer menu, free WIFI. Ganesha Riverside Eco Resort. German/Khmer run bar, restaurant and accommodation on a lost loop of the river, boat trips and activities on site. Rooms $6 45, English, German and Khmer spoken. Green House. New Donkey/Brit run bar, restaurant and guest house up the river. Riverside bungalows with great views of sun rise/set. Bungalows $1020, fan etc, hammocks $3, English, Khmer and French spoken. Hour Kheang Guest House. New Khmer run bar, restaurant and guest house opposite the old market. Rooms $7 20, AC, HW, Fan, TV, WIFI, en suite, English, Chinese and Khmer spoken.
Bars, Restaurants and Rooms.
Jam Tic. Set on the slopes of Phnom Ker wirh stunning views of Kep and Bokor, rooms $3, AC, HW, Spa, en suite, swimming pool, free moto & boat rental, bar & restaurant, English, French, Greek and Khmer spoken but not understood. Kampocchino. Brit run coffee lounge and bar. Coffee snacks and general bar fodder in a comfortable setting, draught Cambodia beer, sports on tv, English and Khmer spoken. Kampot Guest House. Rooms $5 20, AC, HW, TV, fan, en suite, garden, bike rental, bar & restaurant, WIFI, English and Khmer spoken. Kampot Pie and Ice Cream Palace GH. New Canadian/Khmer run restaurant and guest house just off the northern front. Offering all manner of sweet things and some hearty snacks. Rooms $6 $25, AC, HW, TV, en suite, WIFI, English and Khmer spoken. Le Soleil d'Or. New French run bar, restaurant and guest house just off the front. Stylish decor with well appointed rooms, AC, HW, ensuite, TV, fan, rooms $3555 inc breakfast, French and English spoken. Le Niam Bay. New French run bar and restaurant just off the front. French and Khmer food in a stylish setting, English, French and Khmer spoken. Long Villa Guest House. Rooms $6 13, AC, HW, TV, fan, en suite, bar & restaurant with varied menu, WIFI, English and Khmer spoken. Little Garden Bar. Rooms $10 20, AC, HW, TV, fan, en suite, garden, bar & restaurant, WIFI, English and Khmer spoken. Madi's House. Khmer run bar restaurant on the front, pool table, cocktails and a full menu with excellent sunset views. hosting live music events with late opening.
Whats gone or moved.
Akashi Cafe Gone Alaska Super Club Gone Blank Canvas Became Olly's place Blue Dragon Became Rusty Keyhole Blue Mountain Became Rheaj's Burger Bonkors Became Blue Ray and thats Gone Bokor M't Club Became Marco Polo Bokor View Hotel Gone Coco House Became Rusty Keyhole 2 Comfortably Numb Became BarRed Green man Closed at present Honey Bar Became ABC Ike Bar Gone Jasmine Became Frangipani Indochine Closed at present Kampot Interact Became K'Pot Souvenirs Kiri Guesthouse Gone Lucci Food Gone Marco Polo became Bokor M't Lodge Mearly Chender Gone Moon's Guesthouse Gone Piggies Moved out of town and then back in Rheaj's Burger Became Wunderbar Southern Cross Motel Gone Sundowner Tavern Became Salt + Pepper Whats Hot in Kampot Gone
Magic Sponge. English/Khmer run bar, guest house with minigolf course and beer garden. DVD lounge, Pool table, Table football, Board Games. Rooms $8 $20, dorm $4, AC, WiFi, HW ensuite, fan, bike rental, English and Khmer spoken. Mea Culpa. Irish run bar restaurant and guest house behind the Governors residence, wood fired pizza oven and nice bar in a large secluded garden. Rooms $20 25, AC, HW, TV, DVD, WIFI, en suite, garden, bar & restaurant, parking, English and Khmer spoken. Natural Restaurant and Guest House. Khmer run bar restaurant and guest house on the river just north of the new bridge. Over the river eating and Khmer style stilted chalets. Rooms $15+, AC, HW, TV, Olly's Place. Belgian Bar, Restaurant and guesthouse on the river, rooms and bungalows $810, fan, nets etc. Wind surfing and lessons, paddle boards for rent. English, Dutch, French, Thai and Portuguese spoken Orchid Guest House. Rooms and bungalows $5 15, AC, HW, TV, fan, en suite, garden, bike rental, tours, boat trips, bar & restaurant, English & Khmer spoken. Paris Guest House. Khmer run guest house one road back from the front. Rooms $5 15, AC, HW, TV, fan, en suite, English and Khmer spoken. Pepper Guest House. Rooms $5 15, AC, HW, TV, fan, ensuite, soon to have a bar and restaurant, garden, parking, English, French and Khmer spoken. Pizza 36. New Brit/Khmer run bar and restaurant just off the front. Fresh US style pizza and pasta delivered free. Rikitikitavi. British/Dutch run rooftop bar restaurant and guesthouse on the front, high end eating and a good selection cocktails and malt's. Rooms $30 35 inc breakfast, AC, HW, TV, DVD, en suite, bar & restaurant, English, Dutch and Khmer spoken. Rusty Keyhole. Brit/Khmer run bar restaurant on the front, sports tv, BBQ western and Khmer food, English and Khmer spoken. Salt + Pepper. German run bakery and cake shop offering breakfasts, lunch and more with plenty of sweet goods and breads to choose from, in the place of the old Sundowner tavern. Say Sa Bok. French/Khmer run bar restaurant on the front, early happy hours, full Khmer and western menu and great Khmer coffee. Sisters II. Cafe fare and internet in one building, breakfasts, cakes and sandwiches. The cafe funds a small orphanage near to the Olympic stadium, so drop by and help support the Heritage Orphanage kids. Srey Mom's Cafe. Khmer run cafe opposite the 2000 monument. Khmer, Chinese and western food at local prices, great iced coffees, draught Cambodia beer and seasonal specials. Soon to have Srey Mom's famous pies, burgers and pizza too. Star Inn. New bar restaurant on the river offering seafood, Karaoke and hostess service. Tiny Kampot Pillows Shop. Hand made pillows, cushions, pillowcases and covers as individual gifts or in commercial quantities. Wide range of fabrics to choose from. Small orders usually completed within 24 hours. Also selling krama items, photos, postcards etc all made in Kampot. Shop at the 2000 Roundabout. Ta Eng Guest House. Rooms $4 8, fan, TV, en suite, bike rental, garden, restaurant, English, French and
Bars, Restaurants and Rooms.
Khmer spoken. Utopia. German/Khmer run bar restaurant and guest house up the river, just before Tek Chheu and the Zoo (8km ish), stunning views along river in a total get away from it all setting, great spot to stop on a river cruise or just an amazing getaway place. Rooms & Bungalows $6 25, fan, en suite, river view, swimming, English and Khmer spoken. Villa Vedici. Dutch run bar, restaurant and guest house 2km up the river. Bungalows $25, fan, TV, DVD, fridge, WIFI, swimming pool, boat trips, water sports, kite surfing, river view, en suite, garden, Dutch, English and Khmer spoken. NOTE. Listings were correct once, they are not contractually binding so do not rely on them. Facilities listed do not apply to all rooms, i.e. you won't find an AC room for $4. All places should be able to book tickets and tours and offer travel advice.
Creation...
This guide was written by real Kampot residents, people who live in and love Kampot. It was created using Linux Mint Debian, ScribusNG, Openoffice, Inkscape and The Gimp. All these applications are Open Source and are freely available on the internet.
Kampot Survival Guide
The Team...
Steve J Director, layout, basic guide, maps n sales. Irvin S Director, wordsmith, food guide, agony aunt. Alan HT Undercover Ace Reporter, non factual consultant and present Potpat at last. Fran Financial Probability Consultant, Official Distorian and Ace Reporter.
Obtaining Copies...
New Issues are released every three months, copies are delivered to most businesses in Kampot, they are also sent to PP, BB, Snook and Kep. All of the past issues are available for download on our blog site in pdf, epub, and mobi formats.
Advertising...
Contact Steve on 092724720 or the email address below. The next issue due is in May and the deadline 20th April. Advert sizes are, banner 138mm wide by 48mm high, quarter 69mm wide by 97mm high, artwork should be submitted in either .jpg .eps .png .pdf or .tiff and be of the highest possible quality. Sorry we cannot accept .doc or .docx files, ever!!!
Thanks to...
Many thanks go out to the sponsors and submitters who make this rag possible, not forgeting my many editors who make it possible for me to be understood.
Contact us...
Submissions, corrections, classifieds, advertising requests and threats should be directed to the publisher, if you can find him or emailed to...
Or you could be gay about it and post on the Lonely Planet forums (thorntree), like oldted did.
kampotsurvivalguide@gmail.com
This is not a map, it's not even close to being a map, but it should get you there.

Kampot Survival Guide Issue 22

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Kampot Survival Guide Issue 22

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KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012

Bokor Palace Hotel c1950

KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012

Legend of Kampot terms

Got questions about Kampot, ask them here. 3 www.facebook.com/KampotSurvivalGuide/

KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012

Standard Cambodian Units.

KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012

KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012

KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012

Do's, Dont's and Local Info...

KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012

KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012

KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012

KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012

KSG ACE Reporter.

How would you like yours done?

KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012

KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012

KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012

By Irvin S. KSG ACE Reporter.

What are they and do we need them?

By Uncle Fran KSG Official Distorian.

An introduction to the language.

Learn some useful Khmer

KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012

KSG ACE Reporter.

Found something not listed, tell us here. 27 www.facebook.com/KampotSurvivalGuide/

KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012

Things you didn't know about Kampot.

Projects & Voluntary Work...

Some Useful Numbers...

KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012

Bars, Restaurants and Rooms.

Whats gone or moved.

KSG Issue 22 Febuary April 2012

Bars, Restaurants and Rooms.

Kampot Survival Guide

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