FULL BODY, SEXUAL, MASSAGE Paul H.

Byerly This massage article is for men whose wives don't have significant sexual proble ms. If your wife has "sexual hang-ups," and especially if she has sexual abuse i n her past, please see the non-sexual massage article. Massage is inherently sexual, and you can make it more or less sexual depending on how each of you feels when you are giving the massage. Unless you so relax he r that she is more asleep than awake, there is a good chance your efforts will a rouse her because of the intimacy, and because the massage will release a great deal of oxytocin into her body (more on oxytocin here). If she is open to it, ma ssage can be a great form of foreplay, first relaxing her, and then arousing her . If you get it just right, you won't be allowed to finish the massage! To start, have her take a bath or shower. To make it even nicer give her a bubbl e bath (prepare it for her and help her wash) or get in the shower with her and do the washing for her. When she is dry (do that for her too) have her lay face down on a beach towel on the floor (better than the bed, you need a firm surface ). Have a small pillow for her head, and another to put under her legs just abov e the feet - a hand towel over the pillows will protect them from the massage oi l. Use a good massage oil (see below), and apply the oil to your hands, not dire ctly to her skin. Start at her feet, and work up, slowly! Feet can be ticklish, so be careful - firm pressure will reduce tickling. Your strokes should be towar ds her heart, or firm moving towards her heart and soft on the return stroke. Sp end a bit of extra time on her rear end, as it's a sensual area. You can use you r full hands and a good deal of pressure on her rear. Avoid her spine as you mov e up her back. Learn where she carries tension, and pay special attention to tho se areas; the shoulders and neck are common tension spots. When you reach her head, turn her over, and work back down towards the feet. The face is a sensuous area for a woman, so spend a bit of time there. Use light fi nger tip massage tracing her features. Work down the front of her arms and do her hands before you move to her breasts. Don't just grab on, tease her. Move over her breast gently, and then move aroun d to the outside edge and around back to the top. Cup as you rub, with one or tw o hands depending on what best covers her. Give some special attention to the ni pples, but only after you have spent plenty of time on the rest of the breast. D on't squeeze the nipple too firmly. Work on down now, but don't be in a hurry to get to her genitals. Move over and around her tummy, and then run your hands down the outside of her legs. Roll you r hands in and come back up the inside of the legs. Follow the line where her le g and groin meet, just barely caressing the edge of her vulva as you go by. Do t his a few times before you focus on her genitals. You want her legs apart now lift and bend at the knee, then rotate the leg outward to give the best access t o her vulva. Vary soft strokes with firm ones, and finger tips with the whole pa lm. Upward strokes are likely to be more stimulating, but be careful not to over stimulate. A small amount of oil in the vagina is not usually a problem, but do n't get anything scented in there, and be aware that oil could interfere with co ndoms and spermicides. From here you're on your own - play it by ear and either finish the massage back down to her feet, massage her genitals till she orgasms, or move to some other sex act. Oil:Always test any massage oil to make sure there is no allergic reaction - app ly a small amount to a sensitive area like the inside of the upper arm or the br east and wait a day. With plant oils there will be no allergic reaction unless y

ou or your spouse is allergic to the plant. If you are allergic to peanuts, don' t use peanut oil, etc. Store bought oils are likely to have additives and preser vatives, so they may be more prone to cause a rash. Sunflower oil is said to be almost allergy proof, so try that if you are unsure or have a problem. Most of what you can buy isn't very good; so you might want to make your own. I like 40% walnut oil and 60% safflower oil as a base, but any edible oil will wor k. You could use straight cooking oil just fine, but a nice blend feels better f or both giver and receiver, and the scent adds a nice touch. You can play with t he mix; some oils have more "drag" than others. I've seen sweet almond, grape se ed, sesame, soy, and sunflower oil mentioned by those who give massages. An almo nd and sesame mix seems to be fairly popular with masseuses - its light, glides easy, and washed off easily. You can use vitamin E oil to thicken the mixture, i t won't take much, or olive oil, it will take more than the E. If you are going to be touching her genitals at all with the oil, you want to be careful about adding scents. Any kind of mint can produce a burning sensation i f it's too strong, so I'd avoid them unless you know you will not be hitting her most sensitive places. For scented oil, add a small amount of scented oil - you want essential oil, not extract. The essential oil goes a long way since you will use 1 to 3 parts esse ntial oil to 100 parts of base. Peppermint, which has a cooling feeling and tend s to make one more alert, is exceptionally strong, so use just 1% with peppermin t. Sandalwood is great for calming someone, and can be mixed more strongly as its fairly subtle. A variety of essential oils are now available in many drug stores and grocery stores. Always test the mixed oil to make sure there is no allergic reaction. Store oil in the fridge, and float a small squeeze bottle of it in ho t water to warm it for use. Last Updated on Wednesday, 12 May 2010 13:41