The Development Of Self-Discipline In Children

The Young Child is constantly withheld from many of their desires by physical restrictions. We use baby entrance, fences, locks on doors and cabinets (restricted areas ), cribs, playpens, leashes, as well as brief commands ("NO!" "yes !"). We carefully watch the actual young child; monitoring what he sees, where he goes, and with whom he affiliates. These barriers are mainly for the purpose of protecting the child from himself - from his own desire to seek his own will prior to an age when he has knowledge, self-discipline, anxiety when the Lord, or help from the actual Holy Spirit to resist that which is harmful to him. The School-Age Child continues to be in bondage under the elements of the world. Gal. 4:3 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child. Prov. Twenty two :15a Having foolishness in his heart, he is likely to behave the part of a fool - a fool hath no enjoy understanding, but that his heart may discover itself. Prov. 18:2 he constantly desires to venture into the actual "department store" of the flesh. NOthing is more dangerous than permitting a child to "discover himself " at this age. The coronary heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who are able to know it? Jer. Seventeen :9 Being at the beginning of his "formal training" in self-discipline, he is relatively helpless from controlling his own desires; and the fleshly nature is regarded as a fascinating friend rather than seen to contain no good thing. Rom. 7:18 As a parent, you must safeguard him from his own most detrimental enemy - his skin, and two other predatory opponents -- the world and the demon. Childhood is the time to train your child in preparation for a life of self-denial (Mt. 16:24). As parents, you must become an outer boundary that restricts the actual fleshly nature of the kid until the time that he has built inner boundaries and has internal help from the Lord. The outside barriers must remain well past the crib-stage; the barriers now becoming more directed at the actual speech and actions (that arise from the thoughts). Growing up gets older, curiosity about the outer world and his body's desires increases, and the pull from the inner fleshly nature gets to be more demanding. There is every indication in the Bible which God expects total psychological (2 Cor. 10:five ) and physical (1 Cor. 9:27a) self-discipline; the type of discipline that leads one to existing his body as a living sacrifice (Rom. 12:one ) and to take a determined are a symbol of Jesus Christ (as do Daniel, Jeremiah, Nehemiah, Moses, Paul, Christian martyrs (Heb. 11:32-38), etc.). The traditional school setting has some advantages, although in several Christian schools the drawbacks (peer influence, poor discipline, poor spiritual environment, etc.) outweigh the advantages. The advantages are the ones that greatly help to build mental and physical self-discipline, and should end up being seriously considered by homeschool parents. Self-discipline in a college is learned through: 1. The necessity of planning ahead to provide books, homework, long-term projects, etc. To school complete and on time. 2. The delay of the physical gratification/needs of walking about, bathroom break, water, etc. 3. The actual delay of the physical gratification of eating (only from lunch). 4. The denial of the desire to speak so as to concentrate on work.

5. The actual denial of the desire to talk so as to help others function. 6. The delay from the desire to speak to cooperate during group work. 7. Assignments totally dictated by the teacher. 8. The denial of comfort to one's body (sitting upright on hard chairs). 9. A clean work environment (versus. Clutter, toys available, etc.). 10. A day scheduled in to definite, fixed time slot machines with limited time in between classes. The Teenage Years Rules - the outward barriers to speech as well as behavior, should, by the adolescent years, have become a schoolmaster to bring [your child] on to Christ (Gal. 3:twenty-four ); not only in the sense associated with Salvation secured, but coming to Jesus Christ for help with selfdiscipline. Correction from their parents has, by this time, taught him that he is a sinner in need of Jesus Christ to save him from eternal death in Hell. Prov. 23 :13,14 Later in the teenage years, he has recognized that outward control (nevertheless some barriers and discipline, but much more guidance) coupled with his own emerging self-discipline nevertheless fails to keep his flesh under control. He must eventually recognize that by himself he cannot "hang on" and do correct - especially in regard in order to emotions and sexual wishes. He is coming to the knowledge of for I know that within me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for in order to will is present with me; but wait, how to perform that which is good i find not. Romans seven :18 Trust in his parents to assist "keep" him controlled in speech, thoughts, and measures must now be directed toward one that is able to help from within his heart. If, having accomplished this during the teenage years, he can now say i will do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Phil. 4:13 For thou hast been a shelter personally, and a strong tower in the enemy. Psalms 61:three The LORD is my strength and my protect ; my heart trusted in him, and I am assisted : therefore my heart significantly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him. Psalms 28:7 As he once trusted in his parents, an adolescent should now place his trust in the Lord. Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy god : I will strengthen thee; yes, I will help thee; yea,I will uphold thee with the right hand of my personal righteousness. Isaiah 41:10 Training in Self-Discipline Your child "trusts in [his parents] with all of [his] heart; and [must not] lean not unto [his] own understanding." Prov. 3:5 As a parent, you are his guide, their protector (from the world, their flesh, and the devil), and his external barrier to that that he desires to do that would develop poor habits as well as, consequently, poor character. Unlearned and not foreseeing the future, a child generally lives for these days as a slave to their flesh. Parents must continuously be alert for possibilities to direct the mind toward an organized, Biblically-based, inner control of ideas, speech, and actions. Outward Discipline to Establish Inner Thoughts 1. Protect your child from an understanding of sin. I maybe have you wise unto that which is nice, and simple concerning evil. Romans 16:19 2. Protect your child from excessive thoughts about or interest in the things of this globe. And truly, if they have been mindful of that country through whence they came out, they may have had opportunity to have returned. Hebrews 11:15 Keep thy heart with all diligence ; for out of it are the

issues of life. Prov. Four :23 "Keeping" a child's heart is the parents' responsibility ! 3. Reconstruct verbalized ideas when they reflect desires of the flesh. For because he thinketh in his heart, so is he. Prov. 23 :7 4. Indoctrinate in the Scriptural basis and practical application of self-discipline. Deut. 6:six,7 Is. 30:twenty,21 5. Point out examples leading to success as well as failure - from the holy bible and from life. Now all these things happened unto them for ensamples: and they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come. 1 Cor. 10:11 1 nobleman 1:5,6 judges 14:3 Mental Self-Discipline 1. Expect mental effort - considering, reasoning; and memorization of verses, facts from subjects, poems, songs, etc. Your child's education should always have a measure of difficulty. Fun in training has its place, but diligent work should be the main exercise. Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. 2 Timothy 2:3 Good education, by necessity, will involve turmoil with the fleshly nature of your child. 2. Train your son or daughter to be subservient to another's will, while at the same time instruction him to be cautious about selecting people to follow (strangers, etc.). Obey them that have the actual rule over you, as well as submit yourselves. Heb. 13:17a Be sober, be vigilant; because your foe the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour. One Peter 5:8 3. Train your child to have a pleasant attitude in all things. Work as diligently on attitude as you do on the training of physical discipline. Then this Daniel was preferred above the presidents and princes, because an excellent spirit was in him. Dan 6:3a And Jesus increased in knowledge and stature, and in favour with God and man. (He was 12 at the time.) Luke 2:52 Physical Self-Discipline 1. Erect firm, consistent obstacles to unwanted actions. Demand desired actions when informed the first time! It is poor instruction to allow your child the "pleasurable sin" of delayed obedience (calling several times, counting to ten, etc.). Ep. 6:2 2. Impose discipline for repetitive infractions and encouragement for success (without inflating selfesteem). Ec. 8:11 3. Indoctrinate in the Biblical basis for bodily self-discipline and teach the practical application of physical self-discipline. 1 Cor.9:27 The Urgent Task The time is actually short, and the days are evil! Ep. Five :16 You have a brief opportunity (which is sharply reduced in the arrival of the teenage many years ) to instill the psychological "operating system" that will guide your child for a lifetime. There is no time to "appreciate " the antics of a kid with little self-discipline. Should you laugh and think that junior's undisciplined habits are "cute," you and he will pay a expensive price - a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Prov. 29:15 a young child is not an adult, nor can he be expected to have the self-discipline of an adult, but years as a child is the time to train the future grownup. View all training because preparation for future service for the Lord. Train a young child to become a useful servant from the Lord- strong in belief

and in character! This is the parents' responsibility, and is not to be assigned to the church or a christian school. Homeschool parents have a great advantage in character creating, but many, due to weariness or even perceived inability, are neglecting character building while concentrating on childcentered academics. It will be difficult to place a barrier around your child's fleshly character. Each child will be different; many will put up more of a "fight " in defense of fleshly desires. Those who do tend to be, perhaps, being prepared for a more difficult life of service for the Lord. Do not fail these children in their preparation by utilizing excuses (hyperactivity, physical handicap, middle child, etc.). A constant example must be set by the "trainers." While you might desire to let down your guard as well as indulge in poor character, always remember that you must be able to say be ye followers of me personally, even as I also am associated with Christ. 1 Cor. 11 :1 Training children in self-discipline takes much repetition of teaching and consistency in correction and discipline. Train upward a child in the way he is going : and when he is old, he'll not depart from it. Prov. 22:6 the actual rewards of careful attendance to character building are great ! The "yield" is the peaceable fruit of righteousness! Heb. 12:11 you'll be able to produce a delightful teenager! General Goals 1. To build an inner restraint against the desires of the flesh - by giving consistent outer restraints as well as expecting habitual conformity. But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection. 1 Cor. 9:27a 2. To instill a fear of the Lord (which greatly reinforces inner restraint); and to train to obey as seeing him who is invisible. Heb. 11:27b Come, ye children, hearken unto me : I will teach you the fear of the LORD. Ps. 34:eleven The fear of the LORD may be the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction. Prov. 1:7 3. To encourage a total trust in the Lord for strength and direction (recognizing that help with restraint is necessary). Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Prov. 3:5 to LORD, I know that the way of man is not in himself : it is not in man that walketh to direct their steps. Jer. 10:23 Specific Goals Self-Discipline is needed: 1. To become accountable for the use of time. 1 Peter 4:2 2. To understand to wait to speak. James one :19 3. To speak when shyness or fear inhibits. 1 Thes. 2:4 4. To learn to weigh thoughts carefully before speaking. Ps. Thirty four :13 Prov. 13:three ; 21:23 5. To be able to perform unpleasant tasks without distress. 2 Tim. 2:3 6. To be able to use the mind in order to memorize required material. Prov. 10:14 Ps. 119:11 7. To be able to endure hard trials. James 1:two,3 8. To learn to perform uncomfortable habits. 9. To have bodily self-restraint. 1 Cor. NIne :27 10. To keep thyself real. 1 Tim. 2:22 Phil 4:8

11. To keep rule over his own nature (emotions). Prov. 25:28 12. To complete a project through inception to completion. Ec. 10:18 13. To refuse the lust of the flesh (unavailable/wrong material or physical desires). Luke 9:23 14. To delay legitimate self-gratification; to be content with withheld desires. Phil. 4:11,12 15 to utilize no expectation of immediate reward. Gal. 6:9 16. To joyfully submit to an additional rather than to seek one's personal will. Ps. 40:8 17. To eat what is set before him with contentment. Phil. 4:11 18. To rely upon the LORD with all thine heart ; and lean not on to thine own understanding. Prov. 3:5 19. To deny feelings and choose to do what is right. 1 Kings eighteen :21 20. To give up a liberty so as not to offend another person. One Cor.8:13 21. To build up mental discipline (Disciplined mind Disciplined body). Two Cor. 10:5 22. To continue in work despite individual physical rebellion. Lam. 3 :27 23. To be a servant instead of a master. Mt. 23:11 24. To be accountable for one's personal name and family name (testimony). Prov. 22:1 26. To receive correction and self-discipline with a good attitude. Prov. 3 :11; 15:10 27. To cooperate with the needs of others - to concede his needs for the benefit of a group. Ps. 133:1 28. To maintain a Godly worth system that directs daily decisions. Gen. 24:thirty-three Col. 3:2 29. In order to submit to an unpleasant master. 1 Peter 2:18 30. To build up a mental alertness. One Peter 5:8 31. In order to refuse negative peer pressure. Former mate. 23:2 Daily Plan Consistent Example Be ye followers associated with me, even as I also am of Christ. 1 Cor. 11:1 Consistent Teaching The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, king of Israel; To know knowledge and instruction; to perceive the words of understanding; to receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, and judgment, and equity; To give subtilty to the simple, to the young man knowledge and discretion. Prov. 1 :1-4 Consistent Training and Maintenance Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not go away from it. Prov. Twenty two :6 Because sentence against an evil work is not really executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is actually fully set in them to do evil. Ec. 8:eleven Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the fishing rod, he shall not die. Prov. 23:13 Wherefore I will not be negligent to put you always in remembrance of those things, though ye know them, and be established in our truth. Yea, I think it meet, as long as I am in this tabernacle, to stir you up by putting you within remembrance. 2 Peter 1 :12,13 Implementing Goals For each goal that you desire to be satisfied in your child, make a specific, long-range plan to see your objective accomplished. Follow the design of: EXAMPLE --TEACHING--TRAINING. SAMPLE: Goal #1: self-discipline is needed to be accountable for using time. Example: Be alert to time in your own life. Display a concern for your own use of time. Be on time to

chapel, appointments, class, etc. Do not waste time! Ep. 5:16 Teaching: Expect household jobs to be done without stopping to play or to talk to others. Anticipate schoolwork to be done without wasting time (playing with pencils, walking around, talking, daydreaming, and so on.) As your children get older (of sufficient age to easily tell the time and own a watch), expect them to be ready for church on time (without being told), get up on time (with the use of an alarm clock), plan ahead to be prepared for a specific bedtime, set the table prior to an hired time, be in from outside perform at a certain time, etc. Teach your child the value of time - how to use it wisely, how to plan ahead, and how to work to meet deadlines and agendas (long and short-range). Have him memorize verses having to do with time, laziness, slothfulness, sluggishness, unfaithfulness, etc. (Prov. 24:38-30-34; 18:9; 26:fourteen ) Training: Discipline in some way when a responsibility to a particular time is avoided, overlooked, or forgotten. Let your son or daughter know that excuses such as "i forgot" will not be accepted! discipline for wasted time whenever he is expected to be working (set time aside from free/recess time, etc.) Maintaining Boundaries 1. Physical discipline, when necessary. He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. Prov. 13 :24 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall generate it far from him. Prov. 22:15 2. Withdrawing a normal privilege-a withdrawn blessing due to a failure in the obligation to do that which was taught. Whenever self-discipline fails, the old character will be reinforced/encouragedbecause the joys of sin were allowed without any unpleasant consequences. If unpleasant consequences are not organized by parents now, the unpleasant consequences will come when the child becomes an adult. (Ec. 8:11) 3. Natural consequences - those regrettable things that happen as a result of disobedience (perhaps disobedience that is not instantly discovered by a parent). RElated to God, we would also refer to this as "learning the hard way-by experience." Being assured of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. Phil. 1:6 for it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of their good pleasure. Phil. Two :13 Jeremiah 29