The Development Of Self-Discipline In Children

The Young Child is continually withheld from many of their desires by physical limitations. We use baby gates, fences, locks on doorways and cabinets (restricted areas ), cribs, playpens, leashes, as well as brief commands ("NO!" "yes !"). We carefully watch the young child; monitoring what he or she sees, where he goes, and with whom he affiliates. These barriers are primarily for the purpose of protecting the child from himself - from his own desire to seek his own may prior to an age when he has knowledge, self-discipline, a fear of the Lord, or help from the Holy Spirit to resist that which is harmful to him. The School-Age Child is still in bondage under the elements of the world. Gal. 4:3 Foolishness is bound down the middle of a child. Prov. Twenty two :15a Having foolishness in the heart, he is likely to act the part of a fool - a fool hath no delight in understanding, but that their heart may discover itself . Prov. 18:2 he constantly desires to venture into the "department store" of the flesh. There is nothing more dangerous than allowing a child to "discover himself " at this age. The coronary heart is deceitful above all points, and desperately wicked: who are able to know it? Jer. Seventeen :9 Being at the beginning of their "formal training" in self-discipline, he is relatively helpless from controlling his own desires; and also the fleshly nature is thought to be a fascinating friend rather than seen to contain no good thing. Rom. 7:eighteen As a parent, you must safeguard him from his own worst enemy - his flesh, and two other predatory enemies -- the world and the demon. Childhood is the time to train your child in preparation for a life of self-denial (Mt. 16:24). As parents, you must become an outer boundary that restricts the actual fleshly nature of the child until the time that he has established inner boundaries and has internal help from the Lord. The outside obstacles must remain well past the crib-stage; the barriers now becoming more directed at the actual speech and actions (which arise from the thoughts). As a child gets older, curiosity about the external world and his body's desires increases, and the pull of the inner fleshly nature becomes more demanding. There is every indication in the Bible which God expects total psychological (2 Cor. 10:five ) and physical (1 Cor. 9:27a) self-discipline; the type of discipline that leads one to existing his body as a living sacrifice (Rom. 12:1 ) and to take a determined are a symbol of Jesus Christ (as did Daniel, Jeremiah, Nehemiah, Moses, Paul, Christian martyrs (Heb. 11:32-38), etc.). The traditional school setting has some advantages, although in many Christian schools the disadvantages (peer influence, poor self-discipline, poor spiritual environment, and so on.) outweigh the advantages. The advantages are the ones that greatly help to build mental and physical selfdiscipline, and should end up being seriously considered by home school parents. Self-discipline in a college is learned through: 1. The necessity of planning ahead to provide books, homework, long-term projects, etc. To school complete and on time. 2. The delay of the physical gratification/needs of walking about, bathroom split, water, etc. 3. The delay of the physical gratification of eating (only from lunch). 4. The refusal of the desire to speak in order to concentrate on work.

5. The denial of the desire to speak so as to help others function. 6. The delay from the desire to speak to cooperate throughout group work. 7. Assignments totally dictated by the teacher. 8. The denial associated with comfort to one's body (sitting upright on hard chairs). 9. A clean work environment (versus. Clutter, toys available, and so on.). 10. A day scheduled into definite, fixed time slots with limited time between classes. The Teenage Years Rules - the outward barriers to speech as well as behavior, should, by the adolescent years, have become a schoolmaster to bring [your child] on to Christ (Gal. 3:24 ); not only in the sense of Salvation secured, but visiting Jesus Christ for help with self-discipline. Correction from his parents has, by this time, taught him that he is a sinner in need of Jesus Christ to save him from eternal death in Hell. Prov. Twenty three :13,14 Later within the teenage years, he has recognized that outward control (still some barriers and discipline, but much more guidance) combined with his own emerging self-discipline still fails to keep his flesh under control. He must eventually recognize that by himself he can't "hang on" and do right - especially in regard in order to emotions and sexual wishes. He is coming to the understanding of for I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for in order to will is present with me; but wait, how to perform that which is good i find not. Romans 7 :18 Trust in his parents to assist "keep" him controlled within speech, thoughts, and measures must now be directed toward one that is able to help from within their heart. If, having accomplished this during the teenage many years, he can now say i can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Phil. 4:13 For thou hast been a shelter personally, and a strong tower in the enemy. Psalms 61:three The LORD is my strength and my protect ; my heart trusted within him, and I am assisted : therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him. Psalms 28:7 As he as soon as trusted in his parents, an adolescent should now place his trust in the Lord. Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy god : I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea,I will uphold thee using the right hand of my personal righteousness. Isaiah 41:10 Training in Self-Discipline Your child "trusts in [his parents] with all [his] heart; and [must not] lean not on to [his] own understanding." Prov. 3:5 As a mother or father, you are his guide, his protector (from the world, their flesh, and the devil), and the external barrier to that which he desires to do that would develop poor habits as well as, consequently, poor character. Unlearned and not foreseeing the future, a child generally lives for today as a slave to their flesh. Parents must continuously be alert for possibilities to direct the mind toward a structured, Biblically-based, inner control of ideas, speech, and actions. Outward Discipline to Establish Inner Thoughts 1. Protect your child from a knowledge of sin. I would have you wise unto that which is good, and simple concerning evil. Romans 16:19 2. Protect your son or daughter from excessive thoughts about or even interest in the things of this globe. And truly, if they had been mindful of that country from whence they came out, they may have had opportunity to have returned. Hebrews 11:15 Keep thy heart with all persistance ; for out of it are

the issues of life. Prov. Four :23 "Keeping" a kid's heart is the parents' responsibility ! 3. Reconstruct verbalized ideas when they reflect desires of the flesh. For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he. Prov. 23 :7 4. Indoctrinate in the Scriptural basis and practical application associated with self-discipline. Deut. 6:six,7 Is. 30:twenty,21 5. Point out examples leading to success and failure - from the holy bible and from life. Now all these things happened unto them for ensamples: plus they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come. 1 Cor. 10:11 1 kings 1:5,6 judges 14:3 Mental Self-Discipline 1. Expect mental effort - considering, reasoning; and memorization associated with verses, facts from topics, poems, songs, etc. Your son or daughter's education should always have a way of measuring difficulty. Fun in education has its place, but persistent work should be the main exercise. Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. 2 Timothy 2:3 Good training, by necessity, will involve conflict with the fleshly nature of the child. 2. Train your child to be subservient to another's will, while at the same time training him to be cautious about choosing people to follow (strangers, etc.). Obey them that have the rule over you, as well as submit yourselves. Heb. 13:17a Be sober, be vigilant; because your foe the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, looking for whom he may devour. One Peter 5:8 3. Train your child to have a pleasant mindset in all things. Work as diligently on attitude as you perform on the training of physical discipline. Then this Daniel was preferred above the presidents and princes, simply because an excellent spirit was in him. Dan 6:3a And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man. (He was 12 at the time.) Luke 2:52 Physical Self-Discipline 1. Erect firm, consistent obstacles to unwanted actions. Demand desired actions when informed the first time! It is poor training to allow your child the "enjoyable sin" of delayed obedience (calling several times, counting to ten, etc.). Ep. 6:2 2. Impose discipline for repeated infractions and encouragement for success (without inflating selfesteem). Ec. 8:11 3. Indoctrinate in the Biblical basis for physical self-discipline and teach the actual practical application of physical self-discipline. 1 Cor.9:27 The Urgent Task The time is short, and the times are evil! Ep. 5 :16 You have a brief opportunity (which is sharply reduced in the arrival of the teenage many years ) to instill the mental "operating system" that will guide your child for a lifetime. There is no time to "appreciate " the antics of a kid with little selfdiscipline. Should you laugh and think that junior's undisciplined habits are "cute," you and he will pay a dear price - a kid left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Prov. 29:15 a child is not an adult, nor can he be expected to have the self-discipline of an adult, but childhood is the time to train the future grownup. View all training as preparation for future support for the Lord. Train a young child to become a useful servant of the Lord- strong in faith and in character! This is the parents'

responsibility, and is not to be assigned to the church or a christian school. Homeschool parents have a great advantage in character building, but many, due to weariness or even perceived inability, are neglecting character building while concentrating on child-centered academics. It will be difficult to place a barrier around your child's fleshly nature. Each child will be different; some will put up more of a "fight " in defense of fleshly desires. Those who do are, perhaps, being prepared for any more difficult life of service for the Lord. Do not fail these types of children in their preparation by using excuses (hyperactivity, physical handicap, middle child, etc.). A constant example must be set by the "trainers." While you might desire to let down your guard and indulge in poor character, remember that you must be able to say be ye followers of me personally, even as I also am associated with Christ. 1 Cor. 11 :1 Training children in self-discipline takes much repetition of teaching and consistency in modification and discipline. Train up a child in the way he is going : and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Prov. 22:6 the rewards of careful work to character building are great ! The "yield" is the peaceable fruit of righteousness! Heb. 12:11 it is possible to produce a delightful teenager! General Goals 1. To build a good inner restraint against the desires of the flesh - by providing consistent outer restraints as well as expecting habitual conformity. But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection. 1 Cor. 9:27a 2. To instill a fear of the Lord (which greatly reinforces inner restraint); and to teach to obey as seeing him who is invisible. Heb. 11:27b Come, ye children, hearken unto me : I will teach you the fear of the LORD. Ps. 34:11 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction. Prov. 1:7 3. To encourage a total trust in the Lord for strength and direction (recognizing which help with restraint is necessary). Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Prov. 3:5 to LORD, I know that the clear way of man is not in himself : it is not in man which walketh to direct his steps. Jer. 10:23 Specific Goals Self-Discipline is needed: 1. To become accountable for the use of time. One Peter 4:2 2. To learn to wait to speak. James 1 :19 3. To speak when shyness or fear inhibits. 1 Thes. 2:4 4. To understand to weigh thoughts carefully before speaking. Ps. 34 :13 Prov. 13:3 ; 21:23 5. To be able to carry out unpleasant tasks without stress. 2 Tim. 2:3 6. To be able to use the mind to memorize required material. Prov. 10:14 Ps. 119:11 7. To be able to endure hard trials. James 1:2,3 8. To learn to perform unpleasant habits. 9. To have bodily self-restraint. 1 Cor. 9 :27 10. To keep thyself pure. 1 Tim. 2:22 Phil 4:8 11. To maintain rule over his own nature (emotions). Prov. 25:28

12. To complete a project through inception to completion. Ec. 10:18 13. To deny the lust of the skin (unavailable/wrong material or bodily desires). Luke 9:23 14. To delay legitimate self-gratification; to become content with withheld desires. Phil. 4:11,12 15 to utilize no expectation of instant reward. Gal. 6:9 16. To joyfully submit to another rather than to seek one's own will. Ps. 40:8 17. To eat what is set before him with contentment. Phil. 4:11 18. To trust in the LORD with all thine heart ; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Prov. 3:5 19. To refuse feelings and choose to do what is right. 1 Kings eighteen :21 20. To give up a freedom so as not to offend another person. 1 Cor.8:13 21. To develop mental discipline (Disciplined mind Disciplined body). 2 Cor. 10:5 22. To keep in work despite individual physical rebellion. Lam. 3 :27 23. To be a servant rather than a master. Mt. 23:11 24. To be accountable for one's personal name and family name (testimony). Prov. 22:1 26. To receive correction and self-discipline with a good attitude. Prov. 3 :11; 15:10 27. In order to cooperate with the needs of others - to acknowledge his needs for the benefit of a group. Ps. 133:1 28. To maintain a Godly value system that directs daily decisions. Gen. 24:33 Col. 3:2 29. To submit to an unpleasant master. One Peter 2:18 30. To develop a mental alertness. One Peter 5:8 31. To be able to refuse negative peer pressure. Former mate. 23:2 Daily Plan Consistent Example Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ. 1 Cor. 11:1 Consistent Teaching The proverbs of Solomon the actual son of David, king of Israel; To know wisdom and instruction; to see the words of understanding; to get the instruction of wisdom, justice, and judgment, and equity; To give subtilty towards the simple, to the young man understanding and discretion. Prov. One :1-4 Consistent Training and Maintenance Train up a child in the manner he should go: and when he's old, he will not go away from it. Prov. Twenty two :6 Because sentence towards an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the coronary heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to perform evil. Ec. 8:11 Withhold not correction in the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Prov. 23:13 Wherefore I will not be negligent to place you always in remembrance of those things, though ye know them, and be established in the present truth. Yea, I think it meet, as long as I am in this tabernacle, to stir you upward by putting you within remembrance. 2 Peter 1 :12,13 Implementing Goals For every goal that you desire to be fulfilled in your child, make a particular, long-range plan to see your goal accomplished. Follow the pattern of: EXAMPLE --TEACHING--TRAINING. SAMPLE: Goal #1: self-discipline is needed to be accountable for the use of time. Example: Be conscious of time in your own life. Display a concern for your own use of period. Be on

time to church, appointments, class, etc. Do not waste time! Ep. 5:16 Teaching: Expect household jobs to be done without stopping to experience or to talk to others. Anticipate schoolwork to be done without wasting time (playing with pencils, walking around, talking, daydreaming, etc.) As your children get older (old enough to easily tell the time and own a watch), expect these phones be ready for church on time (without being told), get up on time (with the use of an alarm clock), plan ahead to be prepared for a specific bedtime, set the actual table prior to an hired time, be in from outside perform at a certain time, and so on. Teach your child the value of time - how to use it wisely, how to plan ahead, and how to work to meet deadlines and agendas (long and short-range). Get him to memorize verses having to do with time, laziness, slothfulness, sluggishness, unfaithfulness, etc. (Prov. 24:38-30-34; 18:9; 26:fourteen ) Training: Discipline in some way when a responsibility to a certain time is avoided, overlooked, or forgotten. Let your child know that excuses such as "i forgot" will not be accepted! discipline for wasted time when he is expected to be working (take time off from free/recess time, etc.) Maintaining Boundaries 1. Physical discipline, when necessary. He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he or she that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. Prov. 13 :24 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. Prov. 22:15 2. Withdrawing a normal privilege-a withdrawn blessing due to a failure in the obligation to do that which was taught. Whenever self-discipline fails, the old nature will be reinforced/encouragedbecause the joys of sin were allowed without any unpleasant consequences. If unpleasant consequences are not arranged by parents now, the unpleasant consequences will come once the child becomes an adult. (Ec. 8:11) 3. Natural consequences - those regrettable things that happen as a result of disobedience (perhaps disobedience that is not immediately discovered by a parent). Attributed to God, we would also make reference to this as "learning hard way-by experience." Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good are employed in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. Phil. 1:6 for it is God which worketh in you both to may and to do of their good pleasure. Phil. 2 :13 Jeremiah 29