The Development Of Self-Discipline In Children

The Young Child is constantly withheld from many of his desires by physical restrictions. We use baby gates, fences, locks on doorways and cabinets (restricted places ), cribs, playpens, leashes, and brief commands ("NO!" "yes !"). We carefully watch the actual young child; monitoring what he or she sees, where he goes, and with whom he associates. These barriers are mainly for the purpose of protecting the child through himself - from his own desire to seek his own may prior to an age whenever he has knowledge, self-discipline, a fear of the Lord, or help from the Holy Spirit to resist that which is harmful to him or her. The School-Age Child is still in bondage under the aspects of the world. Gal. 4:3 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child. Prov. Twenty two :15a Having foolishness in his heart, he is likely to act the part of a fool - a fool hath no enjoy understanding, but that his heart may discover itself. Prov. 18:2 he constantly desires to venture into the "department store" of the flesh. NOthing is more dangerous than allowing a child to "discover themself " at this age. The coronary heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? Jer. 17 :9 Being at the beginning of his "formal training" in self-discipline, he is relatively helpless from controlling his own desires; and the fleshly nature is regarded as a fascinating friend rather than seen to contain no great thing. Rom. 7:eighteen As a parent, you must protect him from his own worst enemy - his flesh, and two other predatory enemies -- the world and the devil. Childhood is the time to train your son or daughter in preparation for a life of self-denial (Mt. 16:24). As parents, you must become an external boundary that restricts the fleshly nature of the kid until the time that he has built inner boundaries and has internal help from the Lord. The outside obstacles must remain well beyond the crib-stage; the barriers now becoming more directed at the speech and actions (that arise from the thoughts). Growing up gets older, curiosity about the outer world and his body's desires increases, and the pull from the inner fleshly nature becomes more demanding. There is each and every indication in the Bible which God expects total psychological (2 Cor. 10:5 ) and physical (1 Cor. 9:27a) self-discipline; the type of discipline that leads one to present his body as a residing sacrifice (Rom. 12:one ) and to take a determined are a symbol of Jesus Christ (as did Daniel, Jeremiah, Nehemiah, Moses, Paul, Christian martyrs (Heb. 11:32-38), etc.). The traditional school setting has some advantages, although in several Christian schools the disadvantages (peer influence, poor discipline, poor spiritual environment, and so on.) outweigh the advantages. The advantages are those that greatly help to construct mental and physical selfdiscipline, and should end up being seriously considered by homeschool parents. Self-discipline in a college is learned through: 1. The necessity of planning ahead to deliver books, homework, long-term projects, etc. To school complete as well as on time. 2. The delay of the physical gratification/needs associated with walking about, bathroom break, water, etc. 3. The actual delay of the physical satisfaction of eating (only from lunch).

4. The denial of the desire to speak so as to concentrate on work. 5. The actual denial of the desire to talk so as to help others function. 6. The delay of the desire to speak to cooperate throughout group work. 7. Assignments totally dictated by the teacher. 8. The denial associated with comfort to one's body (sitting upright on hard chairs). 9. A clean work environment (versus. Clutter, toys available, and so on.). 10. A day scheduled into definite, fixed time slots with limited time between classes. The Teenage Years Rules - the outward barriers to speech as well as behavior, should, by the teenage years, have become a schoolmaster to bring [your child] unto Christ (Gal. 3:24 ); not only in the sense associated with Salvation secured, but coming to Jesus Christ for assist with self-discipline. Correction from his parents has, by this time, taught him that he is a sinner in need of Jesus Christ in order to save him from eternal passing away in Hell. Prov. 23 :13,14 Later within the teenage years, he has recognized that outward control (still some barriers and self-discipline, but much more guidance) combined with his own emerging self-discipline still fails to keep his flesh under control. He must eventually notice that by himself he can't "hang on" and do correct - especially in regard in order to emotions and sexual desires. He is coming to the understanding of for I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for in order to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good we find not. Romans 7 :18 Trust in his parents to assist "keep" him controlled in speech, thoughts, and actions must now be directed toward one who is able to help from within his heart. If, having achieved this during the teenage many years, he can now say i can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Phil. 4:13 For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower in the enemy. Psalms 61:three The LORD is my strength and my protect ; my heart trusted within him, and I am assisted : therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my tune will I praise him. Psalms 28:7 As he once trusted in his parents, an adolescent should now place his trust in the Lord. Fear thou not; for I am along with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy god : I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yes,I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10 Training in Self-Discipline Your child "trusts in [his parents] with all [his] heart; and [must not] lean not on to [his] own understanding." Prov. 3:5 As a parent, you are his guide, their protector (from the world, their flesh, and the devil), and his external barrier to that that he desires to do that would develop poor habits and, consequently, poor character. Unlearned and not foreseeing the future, a child generally lives for today as a slave to his flesh. Parents must constantly be alert for opportunities to direct the mind toward an organized, Biblically-based, inner control of ideas, speech, and actions. Outward Discipline to Establish Inner Thoughts 1. Protect your child from an understanding of sin. I would have you wise unto that which is nice, and simple concerning evil. Romans 16:19 2. Protect your son or daughter from excessive thoughts about or even interest in the things of this globe. And truly, if they had been mindful of that country through whence they came out, they may

have had opportunity to have returned. Hebrews 11:15 Keep thy heart with all persistance ; for out of it are the problems of life. Prov. 4 :23 "Keeping" a kid's heart is the parents' obligation ! 3. Reconstruct verbalized thoughts when they reflect wishes of the flesh. For because he thinketh in his heart, same with he. Prov. Twenty three :7 4. Indoctrinate in the Scriptural basis and practical application associated with self-discipline. Deut. 6:6,7 Is. 30:twenty,21 5. Point out good examples leading to success as well as failure - from the bible and from life. Now all these things happened unto them for ensamples: plus they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come. 1 Cor. 10:11 1 kings 1:5,6 idol judges 14:3 Mental Self-Discipline 1. Expect mental effort - thinking, reasoning; and memorization associated with verses, facts from topics, poems, songs, etc. Your child's education should always have a way of measuring difficulty. Fun in training has its place, but persistent work should be the main activity. Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. 2 Timothy 2:3 Good education, by necessity, will involve turmoil with the fleshly nature of your child. 2. Train your son or daughter to be subservient to another's will, while at the same time training him to be cautious about choosing people to follow (strangers, etc.). Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves. Heb. 13:17a Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, looking for whom he may devour. One Peter 5:8 3. Train your child to have a pleasant mindset in all things. Work as faithfully on attitude as you perform on the training of bodily discipline. Then this Daniel was preferred above the presidents and princes, because an excellent spirit was in him. Dan 6:3a And Jesus increased in knowledge and stature, and in favour with God and man. (He was 12 at that time.) Luke 2:52 Physical Self-Discipline 1. Erect firm, consistent obstacles to unwanted actions. Demand desired actions when told the first time! It is poor training to allow your child the "enjoyable sin" of delayed behavior training (calling several times, counting to ten, etc.). Ep. 6:2 2. Impose discipline for repeated infractions and encouragement for achievement (without inflating self-esteem). Ec. 8:11 3. Indoctrinate within the Biblical basis for bodily self-discipline and teach the practical application of physical self-discipline. 1 Cor.9:27 The Urgent Task The time is short, and the times are evil! Ep. 5 :16 You have a brief chance (which is sharply reduced in the arrival of the teenage years ) to instill the mental "operating system" that will guide your child for a lifetime. There is no time to "enjoy " the antics of a kid with little self-discipline. Should you laugh and think that junior's undisciplined habits are "cute," you and he will pay a expensive price - a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Prov. 29:15 a young child is not an adult, nor can he be expected to have the self-discipline of an adult, but childhood is the time to train the future grownup. View all training because preparation for future support for the Lord. Train a child to become a useful

servant of the Lord- strong in belief and in character! This is the parents' responsibility, and is not to be delegated to the church or a christian school. Homeschool parents have a great advantage in character creating, but many, due to weariness or perceived inability, are ignoring character building while concentrating on child-centered academics. It is going to be difficult to place a barrier around your child's fleshly character. Each child will be different; many will put up more of a "fight " in defense of fleshly desires. Those who do are, perhaps, being prepared for any more difficult life of service for that Lord. Do not fail these children in their preparation by utilizing excuses (hyperactivity, physical handicap, middle child, etc.). A constant example must be set by the "trainers." While you might desire to let down your guard as well as indulge in poor character, always remember that you must be able to say be ye followers of me, even as I also am associated with Christ. 1 Cor. Eleven :1 Training children in self-discipline takes much repetition of teaching and consistency in correction and discipline. Train up a child in the way he is going : and when he is old, he'll not depart from it. Prov. 22:6 the rewards of careful work to character building are wonderful ! The "yield" is the peaceable fruit of righteousness! Heb. 12:11 it is possible to produce a delightful teenager! General Goals 1. To build a good inner restraint against the wishes of the flesh - by giving consistent outer restraints as well as expecting habitual conformity. But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection. 1 Cor. 9:27a 2. To instill a fear of the actual Lord (which greatly reinforces inner restraint); and to train to obey as viewing him who is invisible. Heb. 11:27b Come, ye children, hearken unto me : I will teach you the fear of the LORD. Ps. 34:eleven The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction. Prov. 1:7 3. To encourage a total believe in in the Lord for strength and direction (recognizing which help with restraint is necessary). Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not really unto thine own understanding. Prov. 3:5 to LORD, I know that the way of man is not in himself : it is not in man which walketh to direct their steps. Jer. 10:23 Specific Goals Self-Discipline is needed: 1. To be accountable for the use of time. 1 Peter 4:2 2. To learn to wait to speak. James 1 :19 3. To speak when shyness or fear inhibits. 1 Thes. 2:4 4. To understand to weigh thoughts carefully before speaking. Ps. Thirty four :13 Prov. 13:3 ; 21:23 5. To be able to perform unpleasant tasks without stress. 2 Tim. 2:3 6. To be able to use the mind in order to memorize required material. Prov. 10:14 Ps. 119:11 7. To be able to endure difficult trials. James 1:2,3 8. To learn to perform uncomfortable habits. 9. To have physical self-restraint. 1 Cor. 9 :27 10. To keep thyself real. 1 Tim. 2:twenty two Phil 4:8

11. To maintain rule over his own spirit (emotions). Prov. 25:28 12. To complete a project from inception to completion. Ec. 10:18 13. To refuse the lust of the flesh (unavailable/wrong material or physical desires). Luke 9:23 14. To delay legitimate self-gratification; to be content with withheld desires. Phil. 4:11,12 15 to utilize no expectation of immediate reward. Gal. 6:9 16. To joyfully submit to another rather than to seek one's own will. Ps. 40:8 17. To eat what is set before him with contentment. Phil. 4:11 18. To rely upon the LORD with all thine coronary heart ; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Prov. 3:5 19. To refuse feelings and choose to do what's right. 1 Kings eighteen :21 20. To give up a liberty so as not to offend another person. 1 Cor.8:13 21. To develop mental discipline (Disciplined thoughts Disciplined body). Two Cor. 10:5 22. To continue in work despite individual physical rebellion. Lam. Three :27 23. To be a servant instead of a master. Mt. 23:11 24. To be accountable for one's personal name and family title (testimony). Prov. 22:1 26. To receive correction and discipline with a good attitude. Prov. 3 :11; 15:10 27. In order to cooperate with the needs of others - to concede his needs for the advantage of a group. Ps. 133:1 28. To maintain a Godly worth system that directs every day decisions. Gen. 24:33 Col. 3:2 29. In order to submit to an unpleasant master. One Peter 2:18 30. To develop a mental alertness. 1 Peter 5:8 31. In order to refuse negative peer pressure. Former mate. 23:2 Daily Plan Consistent Example Be ye followers of me, even as I also 'm of Christ. 1 Cor. 11:1 Consistent Teaching The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, king of Israel; To know wisdom and instruction; to see the words of understanding; to get the instruction of knowledge, justice, and judgment, and equity; To give subtilty towards the simple, to the young man understanding and discretion. Prov. One :1-4 Consistent Training and Maintenance Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he's old, he will not go away from it. Prov. 22 :6 Because sentence towards an evil work is not really executed speedily, therefore the coronary heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to perform evil. Ec. 8:11 Withhold not correction in the child: for if thou beatest him with the fishing rod, he shall not die. Prov. 23:13 Wherefore I will not be negligent to place you always in remembrance of those things, though ye understand them, and be established in the present truth. Yea, I think it fulfill, as long as I am in this tabernacle, to stir you up by putting you within remembrance. 2 Peter 1 :12,13 Implementing Goals For each goal that you desire to be fulfilled in your child, make a particular, long-range plan to see your objective accomplished. Follow the design of: EXAMPLE --TEACHING--TRAINING.

SAMPLE: Goal #1: self-discipline is needed to be accountable for the use of time. Example: Be conscious of time in your own life. Show a concern for your own use of period. Be on time to chapel, appointments, class, etc. Do not waste time! Ep. 5:16 Teaching: Expect household jobs to become done without stopping to experience or to talk to others. Expect schoolwork to be done with out wasting time (playing with pencils, walking around, talking, daydreaming, and so on.) As your children get older (of sufficient age to easily tell the time as well as own a watch), expect them to be ready for church on time (without being told), get up on time (by using an alarm clock), plan ahead to be prepared for a specific bedtime, set the actual table prior to an appointed time, be in from outside play at a certain time, etc. Teach your child the value of your time - how to use it wisely, how to plan ahead, and how to function to meet deadlines and agendas (long and short-range). Get him to memorize verses having to do with period, laziness, slothfulness, sluggishness, unfaithfulness, etc. (Prov. 24:38-30-34; 18:9; 26:fourteen ) Training: Discipline in some way when a responsibility to a certain time is avoided, overlooked, or forgotten. Let your child know that excuses such as "i forgot" will not be accepted! self-discipline for wasted time whenever he is expected to be working (take time off from free/recess time, etc.) Maintaining Boundaries 1. Physical self-discipline, when necessary. He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. Prov. 13 :24 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the fishing rod of correction shall drive it far from him. Prov. 22:15 2. Withdrawing a normal privilege-a withdrawn blessing due to a failure in the responsibility to do that which was taught. Whenever self-discipline fails, the old character will be reinforced/encouragedbecause the pleasures of sin were permitted without any unpleasant consequences. If unpleasant consequences are not organized by parents now, the actual unpleasant consequences will come when the child becomes an adult. (Ec. 8:11) 3. Natural consequences - those regrettable things that happen as a result of disobedience (perhaps disobedience that is not instantly discovered by a parent). Attributed to God, we would also make reference to this as "learning hard way-by experience." Being assured of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good are employed in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. Phil. 1:6 for this is God which worketh in you both to may and to do of his good pleasure. Phil. Two :13 Jeremiah 29