Journal of Counseling Psychology 2008, Vol. 55, No.

2, 233245

Copyright 2008 by the American Psychological Association 0022-0167/08/$12.00 DOI: 10.1037/0022-0167.55.2.233

Shame and Resilience in Adulthood: A Grounded Theory Study

K. Jessica Van Vliet
University of Alberta
Although shame plays a vital role in psychosocial functioning and development, it has also been implicated in several mental health problems, such as depression, suicidal behavior, and posttraumatic stress disorder. Given the potentially debilitating impact of shame on adjustment, an understanding of resilience in the face of this emotion is essential. The purpose of this study was to explore how adults bounce back from significant shame experiences, based on the subjective perspectives of participants. Interviews were conducted with 13 adults who recalled events or situations that elicited intense feelings of shame. Grounded theory was used in the collection and analysis of the data. In the findings, shame is conceptualized as an assault on the self, where the individuals self-concept, social connection, and sense of power and control come under attack. Individuals bounce back from this adversity through a process of self-reconstruction. This process is represented by the core category rebuilding of the self and by 5 interrelated subcategories, including connecting, refocusing, accepting, understanding, and resisting. Implications for counseling and directions for further research are discussed. Keywords: shame, emotions, resilience, recovery, psychotherapy

Shame has long been recognized as an important force in the development of moral and social behavior. As the Roman philosopher and playwright Seneca remarked in Troades, shame forbids what law does not prohibit. In the field of psychology, Izard (1977, 1991) similarly suggested that by sensitizing individuals to the opinions of others, shame promotes socially responsible behaviors. The pain and adversity associated with shame also motivate individuals to increase their intellectual, physical, and social competencies. Thus, shame plays a vital role in learning and in the advancement of society as a whole. From a psycho-evolutionary perspective, shame is regarded as a genetically prewired emotion that enhances the survival of the species. According to Gilbert (1997, 1998), humans have a basic need to appear attractive in the eyes of others, as ones social attractiveness helps ensure access to fitness-enhancing resources. Shame results from a perceived loss of social attractiveness and serves the adaptive function of alerting individuals to threats to their power and status in society. Furthermore, the nonverbal communicative behaviors associated with shame, such as gaze avoidance, downward movements of the head, and hiding, are submissive appeasement signals that attempt to minimize the possible consequences of rejection and mitigate damage to ones social standing. Dickerson and Gruenewald (2004) conceptualized shame as an adaptive psychobiological response that results from threats to the
This research was supported in part by awards from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada and the Killam Trusts. I gratefully acknowledge the contributions of the participants in this study. I would also like to thank my dissertation supervisory committee members, including Barbara Paulson, Robin Everall, and Mary Ann Bibby, for their assistance with this research. Correspondence concerning this article should be addressed to K. Jessica Van Vliet, Department of Educational Psychology, 6-102 Education North, University of Alberta, Edmonton, Alberta T6G 2G5, Canada. Email: jvanvliet@ualberta.ca 233

individuals social self. In particular, shame is elicited in response to social rejection and other events that threaten the individuals self-esteem, social status, and sense of belonging. Associated with shame are specific psychobiological changes that serve the basic need for self-preservation. These include increases in levels of cortisol, which helps to mobilize humans for action to escape a threat, as well as greater proinflammatory cytokine activity, which promotes social withdrawal and engagement behaviors (Dickerson & Kemeny, 2004; Dickerson, Kemeny, Aziz, Kim, & Fahey, 2004; Gruenewald, Kemeny, Aziz, & Fahey, 2004; M. Lewis & Ramsay, 2002). In situations involving threats to the social self, Dickerson and Gruenewald suggested, the most adaptive response may be to flee from harms way, especially in cases in which the threat is beyond ones control. Therefore, by activating physiological patterns that promote social disengagement, shame helps to ensure survival. H. B. Lewis (1971, 1987) asserted that all emotions are embedded in humans lifelong attachment system. Shame occurs in response to perceived rejection or separation from attachment figures. This typically begins with the interactions between the infant and primary caregiver, as part of socialization. Once shame has alerted the individual to the threat, action can be taken to protect or repair the attachment bond. Schore (1994, 1998) suggested that during critical periods of cortical maturation, cycles of attachment rupture and repair in the infant caregiver dyad stimulate the growth and development of those areas of the brain responsible for emotional regulation. In this way, shame plays a necessary and central role in the regulation of all emotions. Despite shames adaptive value, however, an increasing body of research has also implicated shame in a range of mental health problems, such as depression (Allan, Gilbert, & Goss, 1994; Andrews, Qian, & Valentine, 2002; Harder, 1995; OConnor, Berry, & Weiss, 1999; Tangney, Wagner, & Gramzow, 1992), suicide (Hastings, Northman, & Tangney, 2000; Lester, 1998; Mokros, 1995), anxiety (Allan et al., 1994; Harder, Cutler, & Rockart,

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1992; OConnor et al., 1999), posttraumatic stress disorder (Lee, Scragg, & Turner, 2001; Leskela, Dieperink, & Thuras, 2002; Stone, 1992), addictions (Cook, 1987; Potter-Efron & PotterEfron, 1999), eating disorders (Cook, 1987; Floyd & Floyd, 1985), and violent behavior (Brown, 2004; Gilbert, Pehl, & Allan, 1994; Lansky, 1987). Along with the often debilitating feelings, thoughts, and sensations associated with shame, individuals typically experience an overwhelming impulse to hide or withdraw from social contact (Katz, 1997; H. B. Lewis, 1971, 1987; Lindsay-Hartz, 1984; Lindsay-Hartz, de Rivera, & Mascolo, 1995). This can result in social isolation and prevent individuals from accessing the social supports and professional help that are often critical for moderating psychological distress (Lee et al., 2001; Stone, 1992; van der Kolk & McFarlane, 1996). Difficulty with regulating shame may also be one of the primary causes that bring individuals into psychotherapy (H. B. Lewis, 1987; OConnor et al., 1999). Given the potential impact of shame on mental health, an understanding of how we rebound from this emotion is critical. Yet, to date, there is little research in this area. On the basis of existing theories on the nature and functions of shame, we might begin to hypothesize about processes of recovery. For example, from a psycho-evolutionary perspective, we might expect individuals to overcome shame through enhancing their social attractiveness and increasing their social status. From the standpoint of attachment, strengthening interpersonal connections may be essential. Another possibility can be found in the field of emotional resilience, which concerns itself with processes that help adults bounce back from significant negative emotional events (e.g., Fredrickson, 2001; Fredrickson, Tugade, Waugh, & Larkin, 2003; Tugade & Fredrickson, 2004). In particular, Fredrickson (2001, 2003; Tugade & Fredrickson, 2004) developed the broaden-andbuild theory, which suggests that individuals regulate their negative emotions through eliciting positive emotions. Whereas negative emotions tend to narrow peoples cognitive and behavioral functioning, positive emotions can undo these effects through broadening peoples attention, flexibility, creative thinking, and behavioral repertoires. Along with these changes comes an increase in psychological, intellectual, social, and physical resources that promotes greater resilience in the face of future negative life events. At the core of the broaden-and-build theory is a view of human beings as active agents who select their experiences, shape their environments, and capitalize on their strengths to rebound from adversity. This view is consistent with a shift that has occurred in the resilience literature in general. Early research on resilience was aimed primarily at identifying personality traits and external factors that protect against the negative effects of adversity, and resilience was conceptualized as a set of abilities that one either has or has not (e.g., see Garmezy, Masten, & Tellegen, 1984; Rutter, 1979; Werner & Smith, 1982). Since the 1990s, the focus has shifted toward an interest in understanding the processes that help individuals bounce back from severe life stressors. Increasingly, resilience has come to be seen less in terms of static characteristics within the individual and more as a dynamic and multifaceted family of processes that evolve over time (e.g., see Egeland, Carlson, & Sroufe, 1993; Luthar, Cicchetti, & Becker, 2000; Roisman, 2005; Rutter, 1999; Wilkes, 2002). The meaning of adversity has been reconsidered as well, with it now being

acknowledged that what constitutes adversity is largely a matter of subjective perspective (Luthar et al., 2000). Accordingly, researchers have been encouraged to take the individuals perspective into account in the study of resilience. This article presents the findings of a grounded theory study in which I explored the processes through which adults bounce back from significant shame experiences. The purpose of the study was to develop a theory on recovery on the basis of the perspectives of individuals who recalled events or situations that elicited intense feelings of shame. In developing the theory, the goal was to contribute to an understanding of shame and emotional resilience. Such understanding could help inform mental health practice and provide a conceptual foundation for interventions aimed at ameliorating and preventing the adverse effects of shame. Before proceeding further, a brief clarification of the terms resilience, recovery, and coping is in order. Bonanno (2004, 2005) argued that resilience is not the same as recovery. Resilience, in his view, refers to the ability to maintain a relatively stable equilibrium despite relatively minor and transient disturbances in normal functioning. Recovery, on the other hand, is the gradual restoration of normal functioning following a temporary period of psychopathology in the face of a stressor or trauma. The position taken by Roisman (2005), which is in keeping with my own views on this issue, is that recovery is a case of resilience in that it emphasizes the achievement of successful adaptation following a period of maladaptation or developmental difficulty (p. 264). Another way to state this is that adversity, in the context of resilience, can include temporary maladaptation or psychopathology. Moreover, definitions of resilience that exclude such experiences do not do justice to the range of adversity that humans can and have overcome. With regard to the meaning of coping, I regard this concept as distinct from recovery and resilience. Coping refers more generally to how people respond to or regulate stress (Compas, Connor, Osowiecki, & Welch, 1997; Skinner & Zimmer-Gembeck, 2007). In this sense, individuals may exhibit negative forms of coping (e.g., drug abuse), and coping may either help or hinder recovery.

Method Participants
Participants were recruited through local newspaper advertisements and university Listserv postings in a large Western Canadian city. Volunteers who met the following criteria were invited to participate in the study: (a) minimum age of 18 years, (b) significant shame experience that occurred in adulthood, (c) perception that significant progress had been made toward overcoming or recovering from the situation or event, and (d) willingness and ability to articulate the shame experience and recovery processes. The meaning of a significant shame experience was dependent on the perspective of each participant but in all cases referred to a specific situation or event in which the participant felt significantly distressed by shame. Although the meaning of recovery also depended on participants interpretation, it included a perceived lessening of the shame over time, to the point that the shame was no longer a major source of distress. In grounded theory, data collection and analysis occur simultaneously, with sampling decisions based on the ability of the data to

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contribute to the emerging theory (Glaser, 1992; Glaser & Strauss, 1967). In the present study, this meant that recruitment was cumulative, with no predetermined sample size. The decision to discontinue recruiting participants was based on the principle of theoretical saturation, as described in the Data Analysis section. Several of the participants had more than one shame experience that they were willing to share. In these cases, the choice of shame experience for inclusion in the study was guided largely by the desire to increase the heterogeneity of the events sampled. As Glaser and Strauss (1967) indicated, diversity in a sample contributes to a richer theory and a fuller understanding of the processes being explored. The final sample consisted of 13 individuals (9 women and 4 men) who ranged in age from 24 to 70 years old. An additional 5 respondents did not meet the selection criteria and were excluded from the study. Another 4 respondents decided not to participate for personal reasons. The experiences that participants disclosed occurred between 10 months and 26 years prior to the first interview. Eight participants identified their ethnic background as Caucasian, 2 as Aboriginal, 2 as South Asian, and 1 as Middle Eastern. Specified religions were 5 Christian, 1 Muslim, 1 Buddhist, 3 atheist/agnostic, and 3 other. Ten participants had completed university degrees, 2 had completed or partially completed college diplomas, and 1 had partially completed high school. Four participants reported having received individual or group psychotherapy at the time of the experience, whereas an additional 3 participants disclosed the experience in therapy 2 or more years after the experience.

chological processes (Chenitz & Swanson, 1986; Creswell, 1998; Glaser, 1992; Glaser & Strauss, 1967; McLeod, 2001; Strauss & Corbin, 1998). Grounded theory helps researchers explain how people behave, change, and interact in the context of specific phenomena and concerns. A major strength of grounded theory is that it provides a systematic and rigorous set of procedures and techniques for collecting and analyzing data and creating new theoretical understandings. Grounded theory was initially developed in the 1960s by the sociologists Barney Glaser and Anselm Strauss. As articulated in The Discovery of Grounded Theory, Glaser and Strauss (1967) were responding to what they saw as the trend in sociological research to build theories based on logical deduction (i.e., moving from general concepts to specific instances) and on a priori concepts and biases. In contrast, grounded theory is founded on the inductive method (i.e., moving from the specific to the general) and assumes that conceptual understanding needs to emerge from the researchers immersion in and interplay with the data, rather than from preconceived theories founded on speculation. Grounded theory also assumes that human experience is a dynamic and continually changing process and that people take an active part in shaping the world in which they live (Chenitz & Swanson, 1986; Eaves, 2001; McLeod, 2001). People are regarded as purposeful agents who respond to problematic situations on the basis of the meaning that the situations have, as defined through social interaction (Strauss & Corbin, 1998). Grounded theory attempts to explain these meanings, behaviors, and processes.

Data Collection Researchers Background and Perspectives

This research was conducted as part of my doctoral work in counseling psychology. At the onset of this study, I had been counseling psychotherapy clients for 5 years and had doctorallevel training and experience in conducting qualitative research. As a psychotherapist, my orientation was largely humanistic existential, and I believed strongly in the therapeutic benefits of nonjudgment, as communicated by the therapist in the client counselor relationship. In the research study, I expected that nonjudgment would play an important part in participants healing processes. My initial beliefs and biases about shame were also influenced in large part by my understanding of attachment and the neurobiology of emotions. In particular, through my readings of Allan Schores (1994, 1998) work on shame and attachment, I had begun to conceptualize shame as a basic response to perceived threats to significant attachment ties. Furthermore, I expected that the studys findings would show that the recovery process would entail reconnection to a significant attachment figure. To minimize the impact of these and other biases on data collection and analysis, throughout the project I wrote memos on my biases, beliefs, and expectations and discussed them with my supervisory committee members and peers. Participants were screened during a brief telephone conversation in which the nature and purpose of the study were discussed and I determined whether the selection criteria were met. Volunteers who met the criteria and agreed to participate were then asked to meet for an in-person interview. Prior to the first interview, participants were provided with a written information sheet describing the study and informing them of their right to confidentiality, anonymity, and withdrawal from the study at any time. After participants were given the opportunity to ask any further questions, written informed consent was obtained. Each participant was also asked to complete a brief demographic information sheet. During data collection, I interviewed each participant at least twice, for a total of 30 audiotaped interviews. First interviews lasted an average of 1.5 hours each. Follow-up interviews lasted an average of 45 minutes and were conducted between 3 weeks and 5 months after the first interview. All interviews were face-to-face, except for three follow-up interviews that were conducted over the telephone, which lasted a similar length of time to in-person interviews. A contact summary sheet was completed to document all communication with participants. In addition, I kept field notes on each interview to record my observations and impressions. The interviews themselves had a conversational tone, with mainly open-ended questions related to the research question. In all cases, variations of the following questions were asked of each participant or were spontaneously addressed as the part of the participants account: Please describe the specific situation or event in as much detail as you can. What was the experience like for you at the time? What about the situation made you feel shame? What helped you overcome or heal from the shame? What

Procedure Grounded Theory Approach

The study relied upon grounded theory methodology, on the basis of its usefulness for developing theories on social and psy-

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didnt help? What tells you that the shame has healed or lessened? In keeping with grounded theory methodology, further directions for inquiry were based on the unique account of the participant and on the need to explore questions, hunches, and ideas that emerged as part of the ongoing process of data analysis and theory development.

Data Analysis
Analysis of the data was based primarily upon the procedures and techniques espoused by Glaser (1978, 1992), Glaser and Strauss (1967), and Strauss and Corbin (1998). I was also influenced by the grounded theory approach of Rennie and his colleagues (Rennie, 1992, 1994; Rennie, Phillips, & Quartaro, 1988). To begin with, I read each transcript one or more times to develop a sense of the overall context of the data. The focus then shifted to open coding, which involved (a) identifying meaning units, such as words, phrases, and sentences, that within the context of the data conveyed discrete concepts and ideas; and (b) assigning categories to the meaning units, where categories are labels or codes that represent a meaning unit in the data (Rennie et al., 1988; Strauss & Corbin, 1998). Categories can be created at varying levels of abstraction. With open coding, the categories are close to the data in the sense that they are at a relatively low level of abstraction. In creating the categories, I constantly looked for similarities and differences in the meaning units. This enabled me to group together similar concepts into a specific category and to differentiate categories from one another. The process of analyzing meaning units in terms of their similarities and differences is what is known in grounded theory as the constant comparative method of analysis (Glaser & Strauss, 1967; Strauss & Corbin, 1998). Constant comparison occurs at all levels of data analysis and leads to greater analytic precision, richness, and trustworthiness of the findings. After open coding, I proceeded to the construction of code hierarchies, whereby the categories created during open coding were grouped together into higher level categories, on the basis of the relationships or theoretical connections between categories. Strauss and Corbin (1998) suggested that in analyzing the relationship between categories, particular attention be paid to the conditions, consequences, actions, and interactions of the phenomenon under study. Although this suggestion helped to stimulate my thinking, I heeded the advice of Glaser (1978, 1992), who cautioned against forcing data into a preconceived framework and suggested that researchers remain open to whatever types of theoretical relationships emerge in the data. During the final phase of analysis, known as selective coding, a central category was conceptualized at the highest level of abstraction in the code hierarchy. The central category represented the main theme of the research and brought together the categories into a coherent whole that helped to explain the relationships between categories. Although coding progressed toward higher levels of abstraction and toward the creation of a theory, analysis often moved back and forth between levels of abstraction, rather than occurring in a linear, step-by-step fashion. In keeping with the grounded theory criterion of theoretical saturation (Charmaz, 2006; Glaser & Strauss, 1967; Strauss & Corbin, 1998), I discontinued data collection and analysis when the categories upon which the theory was built were saturated or well developed. This meant that most of the variations in the existing data were accounted for in the

theory and that the collection and analysis of new interview data were not producing fresh insights. As Strauss and Corbin (1998) stated, theoretical saturation is never an absolute but always a matter of degree. Throughout data analysis, I wrote memos in which I reflected upon theoretical understandings, concepts, and relationships between categories. Thus, the memos served both as an analytical tool and as a record of ideas, insights, hunches, analyses, and questions as the theory evolved. In addition, I used the qualitative data-management program ATLAS.ti 5.0 (Muhr, 2003) for the storage and retrieval of interview transcripts, selected quotations, codes, code hierarchies, and memos.

Credibility of the Present Study

Through immersion in the data, a grounded theorist develops a deep understanding of the patterns, relationships, and nuances in the phenomena under study. Given the interpretive nature of this enterprise, it is recognized and accepted that no two researchers analyzing the same data will produce the exact same theory (Chenitz & Swanson, 1986; Glaser & Strauss, 1967; Maxwell, 1992; Rennie, 1992, 1994). This is consistent with the basic epistemology of qualitative research in general, where there is assumed to be no correct version of reality, and each individual involved in the research has a unique perspective that enriches understanding of the phenomena being explored. The credibility or trustworthiness of a grounded theory, therefore, does not depend on obtaining consensus on a correct interpretation of the data. Rather, the research is trustworthy to the extent that (a) the data are as factually accurate and complete as possible, (b) the interpretations capture the participants meanings while minimizing researcher bias, (c) the categories fit with the phenomena under study and elucidate the relationships between concepts in the data, and (d) the theory is transferable (i.e., it makes sense to the reader and can be applied to persons, times, and settings other than those studied; Glaser, 1992; Lincoln & Guba, 1985; Maxwell, 1992, 1996; Miles & Huberman, 1994). In addition, the researcher must consistently apply grounded theory methods, and the steps used to arrive at the findings must be well documented (Dey, 1993). In the present study, the accuracy and completeness of the data were maximized through audiotaping and transcribing the interviews and then sending the transcripts to participants to confirm the accuracy of the account and correct any errors or omissions. To help ground the theory in the meanings of participants, during the interviews, I asked questions aimed at clarifying my understanding of participants interpretations. I also avoided the use of leading questions and minimized the use of closed questions that could inhibit interviewees from revealing their own perspective. Furthermore, in the naming of categories, I used the words and language of the participants as much as possible. As Rennie et al. (1988) wrote, this serves as a check against straying from the substance of the data (p. 143). The need to establish a fit between the categories and the phenomena under study was addressed by the use of constant comparison method and theoretical sampling. This involved carefully exploring similarities and differences in the data and actively seeking out discrepant data, negative cases, and extreme cases; collecting data from a diverse range of individuals; and continually searching for alternative explanations for the data.

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As analysis progressed, member checks helped to enhance the fit of the categories and transferability of the findings. Specifically, participants were sent summaries of the category hierarchies and emerging theory and were invited to provide feedback. Ten of the 13 participants provided in-person feedback, whereas another participant provided written feedback. In addition, feedback on the code hierarchies and on my use of grounded theory methods was obtained from supervisory committee members and from members of a qualitative research study group that met regularly to support one another in their research endeavors. Finally, throughout the project, I kept an audit trail of my data collection and data analysis processes. This audit trail consisted of the transcripts, contact summary sheets, demographic information sheets, e-mails, field notes, memos, printouts of categories and category hierarchies, and any other notes or documents used as part of data analysis.

accompanied by self-blame. The belief is that the event happened because Im bad or its my fault. With negative self-judgment and self-blame, the individual comes up against the realization that I am not the person I thought I was. Participants described this as a shattering of who I am, a break in my vision of myself, and a loss of my idea of me. A blow to the self-concept may also result from a perceived failure to live up to previously held standards and ideals for oneself. This was evident in the case of one participant who experienced shame after lying to a friend, contrary to the participants moral and religious convictions:
I think a lot of it had to do with my view of what an ideal woman would have been . . . and the expectation of being pious and religious and virtuous and kind and considerate. All of those things that I admired so much in myself and that I had in my head as being an ideal woman were shattered when I lied.

Attack on the Self in Relation to Others Results Shame as an Assault on the Self
The participants disclosed a broad range of events and situations that elicited shame. These were grouped into four main categories: (a) social, moral, or personal transgression (e.g., becoming drunk and blacking out at a formal social event, in full view of people whom the participant had wanted to impress; lying to a friend, against the participants moral and religious convictions; being accused of rape and being demoted from work as a result; being caught stealing and convicted of petty theft); (b) personal failure (e.g., declaring personal bankruptcy; being turned down for medical school 2 years in a row); (c) ostracism or social rejection (e.g., being ostracized after being convicted of a highly publicized crime; being shunned by family members at a funeral after undergoing a sex-change operation); and (d) trauma (e.g., being raped). Several of the events fit into multiple categories, with considerable overlap in the types of events disclosed. A fuller description of the shame events disclosed by participants can be found in Altrows (2006). In the accounts of participants, shame is an emotion that throws individuals into a painful state of disequilibrium and overwhelms their ability to cope. How individuals view themselves and relate to the outside world comes under intense attack. Shame strikes at the core of the individuals being, with the most positive aspects of the self bearing the brunt of the attack. Specifically, shame (a) undermines the individuals positive self-concept, (b) damages the individuals connection to others, and (c) results in a diminished sense of power and control. This assault on the self is associated with efforts at avoiding the pain and with withdrawal behaviors. Shame strikes not only at the core of the individuals selfconcept but also damages the individuals connection to the outside world. During a shame event, individuals experience a painful sense of social isolation. One participant described this as feeling completely lost, like there was no one to turn to. In addition, shame leaves individuals feeling transparent and exposed in the eyes of others. In response to these feelings, the individual experiences an overwhelming impulse to escape from public view. Participants described how they wanted to run, leave, go away, get out, hide, disappear, or just melt away anything to remove themselves from the harsh gaze, real or imagined, of other people. Yet the urge to escape may be frustrated by the overwhelming sense of powerlessness that is characteristic of shame. In particular, shame leaves the individual feeling paralyzed in the face of judgment or attack and powerless to influence others actions and opinions. A loss of power may also be experienced as a loss of social status or the tarnishing of ones reputation.

Avoidance and Withdrawal Behaviors

The assault on the self is usually accompanied by behaviors aimed at avoiding the pain of the shame experience. Throughout the interviews, participants described how they attempted to avoid their shame through going into denial, ignoring, forgetting, suppressing, or swallowing it. Efforts were made to stuff it down, turn it off, or shut it down. Often, avoidance occurs through rationalizing ones behavior or minimizing the significance of the event. Avoidance may also take the form of more self-destructive behaviors, such as drinking or overeating. Several participants turned to alcohol as a means of numbing their pain, as in the following case:
Some people run away, but I didnt have to. I just took another bottle. . . . That was the drinking. It was to run away so that I would not have to experience the shame.

Attack on Self-Concept
Shame is experienced as an overwhelming assault on selfconcept and identity, on how individuals define themselves and who they perceive themselves to be. The primary means of assault are negative judgments, whether these judgments originate from others or from oneself. As the participants in this study indicated, individuals in the throes of shame may see themselves as bad, flawed, worthless, inferior, disgusting, or otherwise unattractive to other people. In most cases, negative self-judgment is

In addition, individuals may attempt to cope by withdrawing from other people, which exacerbates their sense of isolation. Some individuals may disconnect from their God or Higher Power. This may be driven by the belief that one has failed God through ones actions, as in the case of a participant who stopped praying because she believed that she was too awful to stand before God.

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Individuals may also isolate themselves by avoiding talking about or disclosing the shame event. This is usually motivated by the fear of judgment, rejection, or loss of social standing. The failure to talk to others about what happened may cut the individual off from critical sources of help. This was a problem for one participant who decided not to go to the police after being raped. Her decision was influenced by her fear that the police would blame her for what happened and by her own belief that the rape was her fault.

and fade into the larger landscape of the individuals identity and experience.

Connecting
Connecting represents a movement away from withdrawal and isolation toward greater connection with friends, family, community, or a Higher Power. This category is associated with six main sub-subcategories, including finding allies, socializing with others, talking to others, participating in counseling, connecting to a Higher Power, and repairing relationships. Finding allies. During the process of rebuilding, individuals rely on sources of support within their existing social network or build new alliances. Finding just one or two alliespeople who know the individual well, provide unconditional acceptance, and come to the individuals side when needed can make a critical difference. For most, support comes mainly from close friends, family members, or ones partner. Support can also be found in ones workplace, religious community, or other social affiliations. A person can be considered an ally without being aware of the shame event, in which case it helps to believe that the person would be supportive if the truth of the event were known. Socializing with others. Socializing with others, through engaging in social activities or participating in community events, can be helpful in restoring the individuals sense of connection to

Resilience as a Rebuilding of the Self

In the theory that was created, rebuilding of the self emerged as the core category that represents the process of recovering from a shame event. With rebuilding, individuals restore and expand their positive self-concept, repair and strengthen their connections to the outside world, and increase their sense of power and control. This occurs through five primary processes: connecting, refocusing, accepting, understanding, and resisting. Rebuilding occurs along with the shrinking or externalization of the shame from the core self (see Figure 1). In the process of rebuilding, a stronger human being may emerge: an individual who is more confident, powerful, independent, and accepting, as well as someone who is better able to resist future assaults on the self. Although feelings of shame may not entirely disappear, they become marginalized from the core self

CONNECTING Finding allies Socializing with others T alking to others Participating in counseling Connecting to a Higher Power Repairing relationships REFOCUSING Shifting priorities Working on self-improvement Clearing away negativity Focusing on action

SELF
Shame
ACCEPTING Accepting the situation Facing ones feelings Expressing ones feelings

SELF
Shame

UNDERSTANDING Understanding external factors Developing insight into oneself Separating from the shame Creating meaning RESISTING Rejecting negative judgments Asserting oneself Challenging others

Figure 1. The process of rebuilding. The arrows extending outward from the self represent the expansive and enhancing forces of the five main subprocesses on the self. The inward arrows represent their effect on shrinking and externalizing the shame from the core self.

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the outside world. Socializing can also provide distraction from the shame experience and enhance the individuals sense of being an attractive and worthwhile human being. Talking to others. Another means of connecting is through talking to others about the shame event. Whether the individual initiates this discussion or is approached by concerned friends and family, having the opportunity to explain what happened can build alliances and ward off negative judgments. Participants emphasized how important it was for them to talk to at least one person who listened to their whole story, understood them, and never lost sight of their positive qualities. This was evident in the case of a participant who, after being rejected by several friends as a result of lying to a member of their social circle, confided in another friend:
What helped was that she didnt react like everybody else. She was really the only person who was, like, I know thats not all of who you are . . . She did really appreciate me and care about me.

another Higher Power helped them heal from their shame experience. Participants connected to a Higher Power through a variety of practices, such as prayer, meditation, writing, or being in nature. In ones relationship with a Higher Power, what appears to be most helpful is the sense of acceptance that such a connection provides. As one participant stated, God accepts me the way I am, as imperfect as I am, and if the whole world doesnt like me, God likes me. Repairing relationships. For many individuals, efforts are directed at repairing relationships that were damaged in the shame incident. In some instances, this involves apologizing to people who were harmed by ones actions. Repair can also involve forgiving those who contributed to the situation. Reconnection sometimes occurs after a long period of estrangement, in which any bad feelings that were created in the initial incident have had time to clear.

Refocusing
Being accepted and appreciated despite ones imperfections results in greater self-acceptance. Talking about the shame event may also help to normalize the individuals experience. Several participants were reassured by listeners who, in hearing about the shame experience, commented on how these things happen, everybody makes mistakes, or its not a big deal. By hearing others perspectives and opinions, the individual may also gain a better understanding of the event. For instance, several participants noted how, through talking about their experience, they began to understand other peoples role and responsibility in the situation. Participating in counseling. In addition to drawing upon their social network for support, individuals may reach out for help through individual or group counseling. The shame event may be the main focus of counseling, or it may emerge in the context of a larger issue, such as depression or addictions, that prompted the individual to seek help. As with talking to caring friends and family members, participating in counseling can normalize the shame experience and bring greater understanding of contributing factors. This was the case for a participant who, after being raped, attended a psychotherapy group for female survivors of sexual abuse:
I felt normal with those other women. I suddenly realized that I wasnt crazy, that all these feelings, . . . all these things that Ive been punishing myself for are part of the symptoms of what Ive been through. So it helped me feel more okay with myself.

In addition, counseling provides an environment in which painful feelings associated with the situation can be faced and expressed. Recalling her experience in individual therapy, one participant remarked,
[It helped me] just to face it and talk about it. . . . It wasnt just a distant occurrence. It was right here in my face, and I could cope with it.

These themes are further discussed below, in the sections on understanding and accepting. Connecting to a Higher Power. Connecting to a Higher Power through religion or spirituality can be highly transformative in the process of rebuilding. More than half of participants indicated that their relationship with God, Goddess, the Creator, or

With refocusing, individuals shift their energy and attention to goals, interests, and positive behaviors that enhance the self and counterbalance the negative judgments and powerlessness associated with shame. This category includes five main subcategories: shifting priorities, focusing on the positive, working on selfimprovement, clearing away negativity, and focusing on action. Shifting priorities. Over time, the shame event that initially dominated the individuals energy and attention diminishes as the individual refocuses on new priorities. In particular, attention shifts toward goals, activities, and relationships that strengthen the individuals positive self-concept, sense of power, and control. One participant, for example, coped with the shame of being turned down for medical school 2 years in a row by redirecting her attention to a new job and a new relationship. In some cases, this shift is prompted by a significant event that shakes up the individuals worldview and results in a reevaluation of priorities. This was evident in one participants account, in which the death of his mother heightened his awareness of the preciousness of life. He began to see that his energy was best spent pursuing his goals and dreams rather than dwelling on the past. For another participant, the shift came when she became pregnant and she changed in [her] mentality of whats important. Focusing on the positive. In the process of rebuilding, individuals begin to redirect their attention from their shortcomings to their strengths. By taking stock of their personal qualities and achievements, a sense of pride emerges to counteract the shame. Pride can also be developed through making self-enhancing comparisons with other people. For example, by comparing herself with people who had done significantly worse things than she had, one participant realized she was not the most horrible monster on the planet. Focusing on the positive may also involve a shift toward more positive ways of thinking in general. This can be seen in the case of another participant who recalled how, at the time of his shame experience, if there were a white room with a black dot in the middle of it, he would focus on the black dot. Over time, he came to focus more on the positive, to the point where he could say, Its more likely that a little bit of good will turn into a lot of good than a little bit of bad will disappear. Working on self-improvement. Another way in which individuals rebuild themselves after a shame experience is through fo-

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cusing on self-improvement. This commonly occurs through making healthy lifestyle changes, such as improving ones diet, beginning an exercise program, or practicing meditation, all of which enhance the individuals positive self-concept, self-esteem, and sense of personal control. Energy may also be directed at reducing self-destructive habits, such as drinking, smoking, or overeating. For some participants, self-improvement efforts were directed at achieving success in their careers. This was often motivated by the desire to gain status in the eyes of others and by participants need to prove their value to themselves. Clearing away negativity. For many, an important refocusing strategy is clearing away external and internal sources of negativity that perpetuate the shame. In some instances, this means distancing from individuals and communities that threaten ones sense of well-being and immersing oneself in more supportive environments. Individuals may move to a new neighborhood or city, go to a new church, or change social circles. Such distancing provides the opportunity to make a fresh start without being weighed down by constant reminders of the shame event. Reflecting on the importance of retreating from people that were treating [her] in a negative way, a participant had this advice for others struggling with shame:
Walk away. Even if youre leaving pieces behind, walk away. . . . Try and go where its clean and clear and free from what has been so heavy and negative. Just move in that direction. And even if its a slow process, have faith in yourself that youre worthwhile and you can move towards where its clean and fresh and clear and start again.

getting around it, going back, or changing the clock is a crucial step toward moving on. This realization is often preceded by periods of obsessing, in which individuals repeatedly turn the event over in their minds until they accept that they can do nothing to change the past. For others, acknowledgement of the situation may come more by way of intrusive memories or reminders that force them to take notice. One participant recalled,
I was busy running my life and just trying to succeed, continuing on as if this didnt happen. . . . But it kept coming back to me in the pit of my gut, sort of at four in the morningthose kinds of horrific experiences where you wake up and you know that people know, or you just know that youve been found out.

Negativity can also be cleared through spiritual practices aimed at purification and renewal. Prayer, meditation, and the Aboriginal practice of smudging were among the purification rituals that participants used to rid themselves of negativity and create space for fresh possibilities. Focusing on action. Refocusing may also take the form of shifting ones attention away from the pain of the shame experience toward constructive actions that one can take to address the situation. In cases in which individuals have wronged others through their actions, steps may be taken to redress any harm caused. Taking action helps to counteract the sense of powerlessness and inadequacy that characterizes shame.

Accepting
Accepting involves a movement away from avoidance toward willingness to face and address the shame event. The category of accepting consists of three main subcategories: accepting the situation, facing ones feelings, and expressing ones feelings. Accepting the situation. In the process of rebuilding, the individual moves away from avoidance toward greater acknowledgment and acceptance of the shame event. This movement may occur in small, gradual steps, in which the individual vacillates between avoidance and acceptance; or it may be marked by larger, more dramatic shifts, in which full attention is devoted to addressing the reality and consequences of the event. Readiness to face the situation may emerge within days, weeks, months, or even years of the original incident. Typically, acceptance comes on the heels of the realization that, despite ones wishes to the contrary, the situation has not disappeared. To quote one participant, accepting that theres no way of

Acceptance also includes taking responsibility for ones feelings and actions. This is not the same as taking the blame for the shame event. Rather, it means acknowledging that, regardless of who or what caused the event, one has control over ones responses to what happened. Facing ones feelings. Along with acceptance comes a greater willingness to face and work through the painful feelings associated with the shame experience. Readiness to confront ones shame is typically grounded in the need for greater control and resolution of the situation. The process of facing the feelings related to a shame event often arises in the context of working through more pervasive mental health issues, such as alcoholism and depression. In some cases, a chronic, long-standing history of shame may be perceived as the main problem in need of attention. For example, one participant began to regard shame as the central problem guiding [her] through life. Once she identified and labeled the shame, she found she was better able to defeat it. For others, however, shame was not so much a problem to be combated as a natural emotion that, like other feelings, can be worked through. This sentiment is evident in the words of a participant who stated that Its okay to be ashamed because its one of the feelings that were given to us by the Creator. Its there for a reason. Expressing ones feelings. The process of confronting shame usually involves some form of emotional expression, such as crying, shouting, or talking to others about ones feelings. Among participants, crying was a particularly common form of release. For example, one participant commented on how crying helped her let go of shame:
It became a physical form of letting the shame out of my body. I didnt want the shame to stay in my body. Thats how you become diabetic and cancerous and all that stuff, if you dont let it out.

Other emotional outlets mentioned by participants included writing, music, and art. Several participants expressed their feelings in journals, and a few relied on creative writing as a form of expression.

Understanding
Understanding occurs throughout the rebuilding process, as the individual continually attempts to make sense of the shame event. The process of understanding is associated with four subcategories: understanding external factors, developing insight into oneself, separating from the shame, and creating meaning.

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Understanding external factors. During the assault on the self and throughout the rebuilding process, individuals continually attempt to make sense of the shame event by explaining why it occurred. Most early explanations attribute the causes of the event to shortcomings within the self. As rebuilding progresses, however, individuals increasingly identify factors outside of themselves that contributed to the event. These external factors fall into four main groups. The first group of factors relates to the direct role that other individuals or groups played in the shame event. There is an evaluation of other peoples actions, motives, and beliefs, and self-blame begins to give way to the growing realization that others were at least partially responsible for what happened. Second, the individual may identify extenuating circumstances and stressors (e.g., illness or family affliction) that contributed to the event and were beyond the individuals control. Third, there may be an attempt to explain the shame by linking it to formative experiences from ones past, especially from childhood. Several participants described how they had been shamed as children through negative messages communicated to them by their families. For example, a participant recalled,
One of the first things I remember is being told, Shame on you. As a childand I believe as any good child doesI took that to heart. I did take the shame on me.

just step out of the boots and walk away. You get mud between your toes on the way out, but you walk away. . . . And thats kind of what I did.

For many, the process of externalizing the shame involves a movement away from attributing negative characteristics to the self (as in I am bad) to an emphasis on ones negative behaviors (as in I did a bad thing). The judgment may also shift from ones character to external forces or occurrences (i.e., from I am bad, to something bad happened to me). Creating meaning. With many individuals, a major turning point is reached when they begin to reframe the shame experience in terms of its positive value and meaning. The shame event is perceived as an opportunity for growth and learning or, in the words of participants, as a jumping-off board, stepping-stone, or impetus for positive change. Several participants explained how they told themselves that everything happens for a reason. The shame event was regarded as being necessary to help them get to where they are todayas individuals who are stronger, less judgmental, more compassionate, and more self-aware.

Resisting
Resisting involves direct actions and attitudes that protect against external assaults on the self and decrease vulnerability to future attack. It consists of three subcategories: rejecting negative judgments, asserting oneself, and challenging others. Rejecting negative judgments. In the process of rebuilding, individuals continue to free themselves from shame by rejecting the negative judgments that have been previously internalized. The individual evaluates these judgments and concludes that they are invalid or untrue. Evidence for this conclusion comes largely from weighing the negative judgments against ones known strengths. The individuals positive qualities and achievements serve as proof that others are wrong about me. For instance, after a painful bankruptcy, a participant diligently tracked her income and expenses and forwarded these records to her credit counselor. Thus, she was able to prove that her bankruptcy was not the result of a personal shortcoming:
The very steps of filling out something every month, being superresponsible about it, . . . showing myself that I am responsible [was helpful]. This did not happen because of my irresponsibility. This is not who I am.

Finally, the shame event may be understood within the broader context of sociocultural beliefs, norms, and practices that influenced the individuals experience. A number of participants explained how being subjected to discrimination on the basis of their ethnic background, gender, or sexual orientation undermined their self-concept and made them more vulnerable to shame. Developing insight into oneself. In the process of rebuilding, individuals may set aside blame to take a closer look at the internal factors that played a part in their shame experience. Through exploring the needs, feelings, and drives behind their actions, individuals come to realize that even if their behaviors were shameful, the underlying reasons were not. Negative self-judgment is then transformed into self-awareness and insight, and greater compassion toward the self becomes possible. Individuals may also identify preexisting weaknesses (e.g., low self-esteem or self-confidence) that made them more susceptible to the shame event. Separating from the shame. Whereas the assault on the self is experienced as an internalization and taking on of the shame, the process of rebuilding is marked by an increasing externalization and separation from the shame. Shame ceases to have as much control over how individuals define themselves as it moves toward the periphery of the individuals identity and experience. As one participant stated,
I began to realize that I was carrying this shame, but the shame was not me. I began being somehow different from this shame, even though it was still a large part of me. I began separating from it.

The more individuals view their shame as separate from themselves, the easier it becomes to reclaim their personal power and control. A participant described this process as follows:
I think about an analogy of getting stuck in the mud as kids, when we used to walk into thick gooey mud with our rubber boots. Thats like getting mired down by the shame. . . . Instead of fighting to get out,

Negative judgments may also be rejected through questioning the understanding or authority of ones judges. The judgments may be deemed to be the product of an inadequate understanding of the circumstances of the event. Alternately, the individual may argue that others have no right to judge because they have failings of their own. The individuals increasing rejection of others judgments represents a movement toward a more internal locus of evaluation. The individuals own beliefs become more important than those of other people, and the judgments of others are increasingly viewed as others problem, as something separate from the individual that need not be taken on. Asserting oneself. Resisting may also take the form of being assertive and standing up for oneself in social interactions. This often involves fighting back against the attempted put-downs of

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other people. For example, instead of being the good girl who remained silent when members of her community made insulting remarks about her or her family, one participant began to tell people off . . . nicely, and not so nicely. Some participants described their growing assertiveness in terms of setting better boundaries for themselves. Assertiveness may also take the form of refusing to retreat from a social situation or group. This strategy is a way of saying, I refuse to give up my position in the group, as I have nothing to be ashamed of. Challenging others. Resisting may further include the direct challenging of others beliefs, attitudes, and actions. For some participants, this meant challenging the cultural stereotypes and biases of other people that contribute to shame. Challenges may also be expressed as the insistence that others take responsibility for their part in the shame situation. Rather than taking on all the shame for the event, the individual may assume the more empowering position of confronting others with their shaming behaviors. This was true for a participant who, 6 years after she was raped, wrote a letter to the man who had sexually assaulted her, giving ownership back to him:
I said, I dont take responsibility. . . . Even if I was drunk, I never gave you permission to have sex with me.

Discussion
This study centered on the perspectives of 13 individuals who recalled significant experiences of shame in their adult lives. In the theory that was created to explain how individuals recover from this adversity, shame presents as an overwhelming assault on the self, where the individuals self-concept, social connection, and sense of power come under intense attack. The assault on the self is followed by five main processes of rebuilding, including connecting, refocusing, accepting, understanding, and resisting. Rebuilding counters the initial assault on the self by enhancing the individuals self-concept, increasing a sense of power and control, and restoring the individuals sense of interpersonal connection and social place. These changes may be accompanied by new growth and a stronger resistance to shame in the future. With its emphasis on social connection and power, this theory is closely related to attachment and psycho-evolutionary perspectives that explain shame as a response to severed attachment bonds or as a defense against threats to social attractiveness and power. However, the present theory differs from these approaches in that, at the highest level of conceptualization, it is self that is the central target of attack and repair, with social connection, self-concept, and power being regarded as basic aspects of the self. In this sense, the self serves a framework for understanding changes in these areas. This conceptualization of the self is consistent with the position taken by Baumeister (1998), who viewed the self as encompassing three main dimensions: (a) executive or agentic aspect, as reflected in the selfs power and ability to make choices, take action, and regulate its own responses and behavior; (b) interpersonal aspect, which develops through social interactions and constructs roles and relationships that help shape the individuals identity; and (c) reflexive consciousness, which is the ability of the I to perceive and reflect on the me. From this perspective, threats to social relationships, power, and sense of being attractive represent assaults on the interpersonal, agentic, and reflexive aspects of the self, and the processes of connecting, refocusing, accepting, understanding, and resisting help to rebuild the self in its multiple aspects. The agentic nature of the self in rebuilding fits with resilience theory in general, in which human beings are seen as active agents who maximize their use of available resources to rebound from major life stressors. To use a metaphor suggested by Richardson (2002), adversity causes pieces of ones existing world to fall apart, whereas resilience allows these pieces to be integrated with additional ones into a new equilibrium. In the present study, we can see how shame throws individuals into a painful state of disequilibrium, where there is a sense of oneself as being shattered or shaken. In the rebuilding processes, individuals actively use their strengths and resources to pick up the pieces of a besieged self and rebound from the shame experience. The positive growth that may ensue is consistent with what resilience researchers have termed adversarial growth (Linley & Joseph, 2004, 2005), stressrelated growth (Park & Fenster, 2004), and posttraumatic growth (Tedeschi & Calhoun, 2004) to describe the human capacity to use adversity as a springboard for positive change. Another way of viewing agency in the rebuilding process centers around the human capacity for emotion regulation. Gross (1998) defined emotion regulation as the processes by which individuals influence which emotions they have, when they have

Beyond Shame
Through the process of rebuilding, shame subsides to the point where it no longer becomes a major source of distress. The individual often becomes stronger, more confident, and better able to resist future assaults on the self. One participant referred to this as a form of inoculation. This is not to say that the individual is impervious to shame. Rather, as one participant indicated, the individual now trusts that no matter what happens, Ill deal with it. A number of participants remarked on how they developed more trust in themselves, felt a greater sense of power and control, and became better able to stand up for themselves in the face of external judgment or attack. Along with greater self-confidence and power may come a more internal locus of evaluation. Repeatedly, participants indicated that through their struggles with shame, the judgments of other people came to matter less as their own opinions mattered more. In addition to becoming more independent, individuals typically develop greater self-acceptance. By accepting their imperfections and being more willing to forgive themselves for their mistakes, individuals are less prone to feeling shame when mistakes occur. Furthermore, individuals may become less harsh in their judgments of others. Through their process of working through their shame, they develop greater compassion, understanding, and tolerance for other people. Greater acceptance can also mean tolerating any shame that still remains. Most participants indicated that the shame they felt from the event was not completely gone. Residual shame may be triggered by people, objects, places, situations, dreams, or certain times of the year associated with the shame experience. However, despite the remnants of shame that can resurface years after the event, the shame no longer has the same power to compromise ones self-concept and overwhelm ones ability to cope. To paraphrase one participant, the shame experience is accepted as part of ones history and part of the past.

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them, and how they experience and express these emotions (p. 275). Emotions are influenced through selecting and modifying situations on the basis of their emotional impact; changing the focus of attention through distraction, concentration, or rumination; altering cognitions and evaluations; and modulating the physiological, experiential, or behavioral aspects of emotions. Most of these strategies appear in one form or another during recovery from a shame event. For example, with refocusing, individuals engage in situation selection and modification through shifting their focus to activities that enhance their self-esteem. In the case of understanding, shame is diminished through attributional changes and meaning-making processes. Furthermore, Gross (1998) asserted that emotion regulation requires charting a middle course between silencing the emotions and listening to them and them alone (p. 288). This is consistent with the present theory, in which rebuilding involves the acknowledgment and experiencing of the shame, as well as the redirection of attention away from the shame and into new priorities and pursuits. These self-regulatory processes also relate to Fredricksons (2001, 2003) broaden-and-build theory in that they highlight the importance of redirecting ones attention to activities that generate positive emotions and building ones resources to enhance resilience. In recovering from a shame event, connecting and refocusing are particularly important as resource-building processes. Both help provide the sense of confidence, power, and self-esteem that buffer the effects of shame and help individuals counteract the effects of shame-inducing judgments and practices. Moreover, by engaging in pleasurable activities and by experiencing pride in new accomplishments, individuals can see that enjoyment and success are possible despite the shame event.

Implications for Counseling Practice

In helping clients overcome significant shame events, counselors can use the five main rebuilding processes as a framework for therapeutic interventions. The recommendations below are based on these processes and on the overall goal of enhancing the self. First, counselors can help clients build a supportive social network. This begins, of course, with the counseling relationship itself. As the present findings have shown, to counteract the negative self-judgment so central to shame, individuals need to feel valued and accepted by significant people in their lives. We are reminded here of Carl Rogerss (1957, 1961) concept of unconditional positive regard. For Rogers, the transformative power of relationships rests in large part on the helpers ability to provide an environment free of judgment, where the individual is prized as a person of unconditional self-worth, of value no matter what his condition, his behavior, or his feelings (Rogers, 1961, p. 34). The counselors acceptance and understanding of the client can serve as a corrective experience that counteracts shame. Counselors should therefore make every effort to communicate acceptance and nonjudgment to their clients. In addition, clients can be encouraged to make the most of their existing social resources and to cultivate new sources of support. Second, counselors can assist clients in refocusing their energies into self-enhancing activities, plans, and interests. A re-evaluation of goals and priorities may be required so that clients can focus their efforts on what is most important to them. In addition, by emphasizing clients positive qualities and successes, counselors

can help clients form a more positive view of themselves and gain greater hope for the future. Constructive actions that clients can take to address the situation should also be discussed. As Bohart and Tallman (1996) stated, therapists need to recognize their clients as active agents, regardless of how productive or unproductive their actions may be. A major task of therapy, then, is to help clients turn their energies into more productive directions. For some clients, this may mean changing self-destructive habits or distancing from people and situations that undermine a positive self-concept and seeking out more supportive environments. A third major task of therapy is to help clients confront, feel, accept, and express the shame, along with any other feelings that accompany it. In working with emotions in psychotherapy, humanistic existential and process-experiential strategies (see Greenberg & Paivio, 1997; Greenberg, Rice, & Elliott, 1993) may be particularly effective. Furthermore, clients may need to acknowledge and accept those aspects of the situation that can or cannot be changed. Although the past is beyond anyones control, clients do have power to change their responses to the shame event, and they can take an active part in regulating their emotions. Fourth, counselors can facilitate clients understanding of the shame experience in ways that enhance the clients self-concept and sense of control. In part, this means exploring clients explanations for why the event occurred and identifying some of the external factors and extenuating circumstances that may have contributed to the situation. In addition, counselors can help clients externalize the shame by separating the clients behavior from the clients self. For instance, a clients view of the self as a bad person can be shifted to a focus on the clients problematic behaviors. The needs and motives that drove the behavior can be explored as well, so that although what the client did might have been bad, the underlying motives were valid. Furthermore, provided that the painful feelings and negative consequences of the shame event have been acknowledged and explored, counselors can facilitate an understanding of the positive value of the shame experience. For some clients, this may mean reflecting on what they have learned in the process of struggling with their adversity. A fifth major task of therapy is to help clients take back their powerto increase their awareness that they do have choices about whether to accept negative judgments or to walk away from them. Counseling can assist with this process by helping clients challenge the judgments that generate and perpetuate shame. For example, clients can dispute self-destructive beliefs through cognitive-behavioral techniques. Assertiveness training can help clients stand up to people who attempt to judge or shame them, and narrative and feminist therapies may be useful for their emphasis on challenging the social discourses, practices, and stereotypes that shame and oppress nondominant members of society (White & Epston, 1990; Worrell & Remer, 1992). Finally, clients may need to be reminded that the shame may come up again in the future. The counselor and client can identify situations that are likely to trigger the shame, and positive coping strategies can be reviewed. Building a plan for potential shame situations can be a form of shame inoculation, as one participant coined the term. This is not to imply that shame should be pathologized or attacked as soon as it emerges. Shame is a necessary human emotion that, by signaling a threat to the self, can be of great adaptive value to the individual. Rather, shame inoculation, as I use the term here, means that clients will be less prone to

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the potentially devastating effects of this emotion and that they will have more resources to recover from shame situations when they arise.

Future Directions
By focusing on the subjective accounts of individuals who felt they had made significant progress in recovering from a shame event, this study provides a conceptual framework for understanding shame and emotional resilience. Among the strengths of this study are the breadth of shame events sampled and the cultural diversity of the participants. At the same time, this diversity may have hidden important differences between the types of shame events (e.g., social transgression compared with trauma) and between cultural groups. More research on specific types of shame events and specific populations is needed. In addition, despite the ethnic diversity in the sample, most participants from minority backgrounds appeared to have a high level of acculturation to Western society. The extent to which the rebuilding process applies to non-Western cultures needs to be explored. Future research could also investigate how children and adolescents recover from significant shame events. If, for adults, shame represents an assault on the self and the processes that follow are a reconstruction of the self, then the question immediately arises as to whether the same applies to childhood and adolescence, at a time when developmental processes related to the self are especially important. In addition, research that includes the perspectives of individuals who continue to feel distressed by their shame experiences could shed light on what hinders resilience processes. Finally, the shame events in this study were recalled retrospectively, sometimes after many years had elapsed. Longitudinal case studies that follow individuals recovery over time might further understanding of the processes involved in bouncing back from shame.

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Received January 31, 2007 Revision received November 6, 2007 Accepted November 15, 2007