20 Ways To Develop Your Child's Character

Things you can teach your child to become confident, responsible and secure individuals.

You may share this e-book with family and friends, I only ask that all content remain as is. DISCLAIMER:
This e-book is based on the writer's own experiences and information gathered from various sources and should not be regarded as professional childcare advice. As such, the writer cannot be held responsible for any injuries or damages arising from the use of this e-book.

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1. The Good Book

Each night after dinner or before bed, have your child write something about their day that made them feel good a positive experience. We so often remember the worrisome, bad experiences that simple things like finding and returning a dollar note, or returning a smile, or sharing a laugh with someone goes unnoticed. Your child can share what is written or keep it private. If your child is too young to write, he could draw pictures or tell you about it. The Good Book will be a warm collection of good stuff in your childs life.

2. This Is Me Project
Get a large piece of Styrofoam or cardboard. Have your child cut out images, photos or anything that represents who they are and what they are proud of. It could be a ballerina cut-out from a magazine, or a homework paper, or a hobby. Words can be written and pictures drawn, keep it free and easy. Get other members of the family involved too if the cardboard is large enough. Celebrate the wonderful qualities in your child.

3. Just a note
Write a note about someone in your family to say thank you for something they did that was appreciated and leave it on the table for breakfast the next day, or anywhere it will be seen by that person. If it is for your child, it could be to say how great it was to see him tidy his room without being asked, or if it is from your child, he could draw a flower (if he cant write) or a big smiley face. By teaching your kids to be expressive, he will also learn to appreciate and value each other.

4. Super Heroes
Children need someone they can look up to. Very often, they will want to be the character or super action hero they watch on TV, like Barbie or Spiderman, because they have the qualities that the child wish they had or pretend to have. Talk to them about real life characters who can also be heroes, perhaps a sports personality, a teacher, a musician, or an actor. Tell them what these people have done and how they did it, and ask your child who they admire most. Admiration is a great selfmotivator, so encourage your child to recognise real superheroes.

5. Winning quitters
Enrolling your child in an activity like ballet, piano, swimming and so on can be frustrating for parents when the activity doesnt seem to last more than two lessons. Before enrolling your child in another activity, make him commit to it for a few weeks (say eight weeks). Being lazy to practice or seeing another child do better than they are often times make them want to quit. By setting your terms and agreeing to stick to that time frame, your child will finish something that they start. They will learn to

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overcome fears and learn new skills. If your child still wants to quit after completing the agreed time frame which you have set, respect his or her decision.

6. Golden Silence
Our lives are full of noise and commotion, blaring TV, radio, traffic and construction. We can teach our kids to stop and listen in silence. Take ten minutes to sit alone quietly, closing our eyes and do nothing but listen. It can be indoor or outdoor. After 10 minutes, come together and talk about what they heard, and how it made them feel to listen to the sound of silence. This can develop into an interesting conversation for you and your child.

7. Face Space
It is hard sometimes to really find out how your kids are feeling. Get your kids to draw a few large circles, cut them out representing faces. One face represents happy, one sad, one angry, scared etc. Glue or tape the face onto rulers. We can ask our kids how they are feeling today by asking them to choose the face that represents how they feel, hold it up and let them share why they are feeling that way. We can learn and understand our kids better when we take the time to listen to their hidden feelings.

8. Eye to Eye
Make a point to try talking to your kids face to face, eye to eye. We are often running around, talking to each other across the room and yelling at the kids to this and that. Whilst we cant possibly be down on our knees to be face to face all the time, try making the effort to communicate in this fashion more often, and see what happens. You might be surprised to learn that your kids might be more attentive.

9. Voice Memory Box

Bring the cassette player back from extinction. Put a blank tape in and start recording your kids taking to each other, singing, announcing special messages, telling stories, and candid moments. This tape can be a compilation of recordings over a period of time. When the tape is finished, you can convert it into a CD. It is a wonderful keepsake of your familys moment in time captured in audio form. Your kids will love listening to it when they are older.

10. Group Hug

Before everyone goes to bed at night, or before leaving the house in the morning, take a minute or two to have a group hug. This is especially fun if there is more than one child in the family. The biggest person stands in the centre and everyone else in a circle around him. After the count of three rush in for a big long hug from everyone. Once it

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becomes a habit, the day will not seem complete without it.

11. Massage Train

Sit on the floor in a line like a train. Massage the neck and shoulders of the person sitting in front of you. After five minutes turn the opposite direction and start massaging the neck and shoulders of the person in front of you now. Nobody gets left out. Compliment everyone on a job well done and how good the massage feels. The power of human touch is an amazing one.

12. Love is Blind

Talk about the many people in this world who are blind. Bring out some scarves and blindfold half of your family members. Assign a partner to each blindfolded person and let them guide them through the house doing everyday things. The blindfolded person is to be taken on a sensory tour, feeling the things we often take for granted like water, feeling grass under our feet, tasting something sweet or sour, smelling things around us. The partners role is to instil trust and the blindfolded partner to learn to trust. After some time, swap. Then talk about the experience again and share empathy for the people who are visually impaired.

13. Good Penmanship

Whilst the electronic age has helped us in leaps and bounds to progress at lightning speed, our children could be losing the art of good letterwriting and penmanship altogether. The act of sending an eloquently written letter or a thoughtful store-bought card is being replaced by emails and SMSes. Help children learn the joy they can give others by having a special letter-writing or card-giving day. Birthdays, anniversaries and exam periods are great occasions to send letters, cards and good luck wishes. A note to say thank you, get well soon and even for no particular reason, receiving a card is a total joy for the recipient. Get some fancy stationery and cards, turn on some nice music, have some milk and cookies ready, make it a family project and enjoy.

14. Fear Factor

When a child comes home with fear in their little hearts over an incident, like a school bully, or someone spreading rumours, or not meeting a school project, parents need to deal with that childs fears: Listen, listen, listen and try to understand their fears. Discuss all the possible ways to deal with this fear. Role-play and practice what your child can do to face this fear. Encourage them to take steps to confront this fear. Share a story from your life when you were afraid.

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15. Anger Management

Children get angry too, its a normal feeling so why not encourage your child to deal with it peacefully. Given them a piece of paper and have them write what they think should happen to the person who caused their anger. When they have finished, have them read it aloud. Sometimes after hearing what they have written, it calms them down, maybe even laugh about it. Discuss the matter and then tear the paper into pieces and throw it away.

16. News!
Help your child develop a personal interest in what is going in the world, in other peoples lives and in learning new things. Find appropriate newspaper articles and read together each day. If your kids are too young to read, you could summarise the story in a way they can understand. If your kids are old enough, let them flick through and pick an article for the family to read and discuss.

17. Caring & sharing

Caring for other people teaches kids so much about compassion and empathy and by getting them to start caring from a young age, they will go through life helping others. Families can volunteer to help though the following ways: Find a poor family in your area to give food and necessities once a month. Adopt an elderly neighbour who may not have a family. Visit whenever you can so they will be less lonely. Listen to their stories and talk to them. Look into the needs of a handicapped person or an orphan. Invite them on a family outing or dinner. Visit a nursing home or a childrens hospital ward regularly. Kids may be scared in the beginning but will get used to it over time once they start helping and getting more involved. The key is consistency and sincerity in what you set out to do.

18. Responsibilities
Children need to be taught new responsibilities. Get the kids into a routine of doing some household duties. Chart out a timetable and duty roster according to your kids age. Here are some examples: 5 years old Put toys and crayons in the appropriate places. 6 years old Help prepare dinner, wash the fruit and vegetables, rinse the rice, etc. 7 years old Set the dinner table by arranging the placemats, cutlery and dinnerware. 8 years old Sweeping, dusting, wiping; concentrate one particular area or activity at a time. 9 years old Sort and fold laundry; towels, underwear, socks are less overwhelming.
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10 years old Practise making their bed.

Remember to praise them, provide suggestions and help when required. Thank them for helping.

19. Financial Matters

Collect receipts from your purse, grocery bills, purchases made etc. Teach your child to locate the amount paid. Set up a table with a calculator, pen and paper and get them to fill out expense and add them up. Make it fun, give them a file and a briefcase, theyll feel really grown up and very important. It can also teach them about money and to value the things they own and use on a daily basis.

20. Discipline chart

Get the family together and list down all the possible negative behaviours that are commonly displayed at home. Eg. Hitting, calling names, untidiness, being rude etc. Next to each behaviour listed decide on the appropriate consequence if it occurs. The next time it happens, go to the chart and read the consequences. Take action. Take responsibility.

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