Volume 3, Issue 5 May 2012 BECOMING YOUR BEST

Becoming Your Best Newsletter

Greetings, Mother Teresa is quoted as saying, Let us touch the dying, the poor, the lonely and the unwanted according to the graces we have received and let us not be ashamed or slow to do the humble work. Our featured article this month is an excellent example of this quote by Mother Teresa. The story is taken from a blog written by Rob Gorski, a father of 3 children who are on the autism spectrum. His story is one that will touch every heart, most especially parents of a child with a disability. Hopefully, this article will make a contribution to the cause of promoting awareness about individuals with autism, as well as individuals who have other types of disabilities. Not only do we need to do more to promote awareness, but we also need to continue to advocate for resources to provide the appropriate assistance and support for those in need. I would like to thank Rob for his permission to feature his story in our newsletter. I also thank him for the wonderful work he and his wife are doing to help promote awareness. We have used the edited version of his story which has been featured on the CNN website at: http://www.cnn.com/2012/04/16/health/autism-homeless-man/index.html. The second article is a continuation of the Quest to Becoming Your Best feature. This monthHeart of Compassion. The Dalai Lama said, If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. Living with a heart of compassion can bring about positive results for others and be beneficial to you at the same time. Thank you for your continued support! All the best to you! George M. Graham Jr.
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Stories Of Hope And Encouragement

BECOMING YOUR BEST

Submit your inspirational stories to: stories@becomingyourbest.com. Subscribe to our FREE newsletter: newsletter@becomingyourbest.com. _______________________________________________________________________________ BECOME A FAN ON FACEBOOK AT BECOMING YOUR BEST.

Mission We are dedicated to presenting inspiring stories of hope and encouragement about individuals with disabilities.

MY BROKEN HEART: THE STORY OF THE BARE-HANDED MAN BY ROB GORSKI

As the snow started falling, I drove to Giant Eagle to pick up some groceries. With a storm on the way, I needed to stock up on supplies in case we got snowed in. I pulled into the parking lot of the store and found a spot right in front of the entrance. I sat there for a few minutes, collecting what I needed to take in. As I reached over to the passenger seat to grab my wallet, I glanced over at the car next to me through the passenger window and saw three people who were loading their groceries into their car. I also saw a large man standing there, reaching over the hood of their car. He was wiping the snow and ice off the car's windshield with his bare hands. The owner of the vehicle looked at him with an icy stare that seemed to say, "How dare you touch my car." She seemed disgusted just breathing the same air as the man cleaning her windshield. Instead of asking him to stop or giving him a few dollars, she quickly climbed into her car and gunned the car forward so fast the man was knocked back. A few seconds later, the man got up, walked to my car and knocked on my window. I hadn't even processed what I had just witnessed. Now he was coming over to me and I had no idea what to say. "Please, not now, I just want to get what I need and get home," I thought to myself. Where I live, it's common for people to approach you for money. I took a deep breath and started to open the door. The man opened it the rest of the way, being careful not to hit the car next to me. This man stood well over 6 feet and wore sweatpants, a light flannel shirt and boots that were left untied. It was roughly 20 degrees outside and he was clearly not dressed for the cold. In a rather abrupt voice, he broke the silence by asking, "Can I have your change?" I scooped up the change I had in the car and gave him everything I had, which was only $2.37. After handing him the money, I explained that I didn't have any more. "I'm cold and hungry. Can you take me to the shelter?" he asked. I noticed his hands. They were at his side but his fingers moved silently up and down, as though he was playing an invisible piano. He spoke with great difficulty -- in a stilted, mechanical fashion and his face showed no emotion. I never felt threatened, although he stood in my personal space about 1 or 2 feet in front of me. He
Rob Gorski is the creator and author of the Lost and Tired blog (lostandtired.com) and founder of Android4Autism (www.android4autism). He is also the father of 3 boys on the autism spectrum. Gavin is 11, Elliott is 5 and Emmett John is 3. He was a firefighter and paramedic for many years until his wife, Lizze, became ill and he was needed at home 24/7. Rob shares, Things are very difficult and everyday seems to be more difficult than the last, however, we always somehow manage to survive. We arent a TV show and there are no actors. This is our struggle, our journey and its all true.
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MY BROKEN HEART CONTINUED

would occasionally look in my direction, but never at me. Although he stood so close, he avoided eye contact. "Can you drive me to the shelter? Because it's warm there and they have food," he asked me again. "I'm homeless and very hungry," he said. "I'm not lying to you. If I lie to you then you might not help me."
Rob Gorski and his wife Lizze and there three boys,

I really didn't know what to say, because I wasn't comfortable driving him anywhere.

Gavin, 11, Elliott, 6 and Emmett John, 3. All three boys are on the autism spectrum.

Then he asked me to buy him some food and gloves. I thought about what to say. I knew he would have a hard time understanding: I don't have any money. My family is struggling to survive each day. I was trying to figure out how to explain to him that I couldn't help, but I was at a loss for words. Then something happened that shook me to the core and completely broke my heart. As I was trying to tell him no, he looked me in the eyes. All of a sudden, I was looking at my oldest son. My wife and I have three boys with autism; the oldest is 12. Looking at the bare-handed man was like looking through some special window at my oldest son, 20 or 30 years from now. It was like being run over by a freight train. I was washed by a wave of clarity and my eyes and heart were now open to what was happening in front of me. Suddenly I was transformed from a person trying to avoid the whole situation into a parent, filled with compassion and understanding. He again asked me to buy him food because he was hungry and gloves because his hands were cold. Something about him was so familiar. Yes, I would buy him some food. I would never deny any of my children food if they were hungry. He smiled in my direction and took my hand without looking at me and led me into the store. His hands were cold, hardened and chapped. I noticed the looks people gave me as I walked with the bare-handed man into the grocery store. His clothes were old, beaten up and had a foul odor. He asked me to buy him a gift card so he could buy food later, when he would be hungry again. So we walked over to the rack and he picked out a Giant Eagle gift card. I put $25 on the gift card. I gave him $25 in cash and asked him to please buy some gloves and a bus ride to the shelter. He asked for the receipt so "When the police stop me, I can prove I didn't steal this."

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Volume 3, Issue 5

BECOMING YOUR BEST

MY BROKEN HEART CONTINUED

He told me again that he wasn't lying. I told him I knew he wasn't. He turned to walk away, stopped and looked in my direction as if to say "Thank you," but didn't. What he did said more than a simple thank you. He showed me his eyes again for a brief moment before he turned around and left. I was beside myself with grief. How could someone I didn't know have such a profound effect on me? It took everything I had not to burst into tears. I just couldn't shake just how much the bare-handed man reminded me of my oldest son. Their eyes, mannerisms and even the way they speak were so similar. My son struggles with boundaries and personal space simply because he doesn't understand, not because he wants to be invasive. All I could think was, "How does this happen?" I was smacked in the face with reality. Someday I won't be here to take care of my children. What if this happens to them? What if they are the ones wiping off a windshield with their bare hands and almost being run over by someone who doesn't care? I can't let that happen. I won't let that happen. Since that cold February day in 2011, I have met the bare-handed man on a few more occasions. Along the way, I learned that his name is Tim and that he remembers me. Tim has shown me just how much work still needs to be done. I would like to think that my experience that daythe way people treated Tim in that frozen parking lot was an isolated incident. Sadly, I know it's not. Things like this happen all the time. To this writer and father of three beautiful boys on the autism spectrum, this is simply unacceptable. We need to do what we can to help the world better understand both children and adults with autism. I'm terrified of what the future might hold for my children. I have witnessed how cruel and unforgiving the world can be to people who are perceived as different. It is an ugly reality but one I'm working to help change. Please help spread autism awareness, even if it's one person at a time. Remember that the autistic children of today will be the autistic adults of tomorrow. These people need and deserve our compassion, understanding and respect. Let's help to ensure that what happened to my friend Tim in the parking lot of the Giant Eagle doesn't have to happen to anyone else, ever again.

Visit our website - http://www.becomingyourbest.com/ and become a friend on Facebook at Becoming Your Best. We appreciate your support in spreading hope and encouragement to others.
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QUEST TO BECOMING YOUR BEST HEART OF COMPASSION BY GEORGE M. GRAHAM JR.

Quest to Becoming Your Best

This article is a continuation of a new feature to the Becoming Your Best Newsletter. It is our hope that you will find these articles to be insightful and beneficial in assisting you in your Quest to Becoming your Best. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you were asked to close your eyes and point to yourself, do you know where you are most likely to point? When asked to do this exercise, a large percentage of people point toward the center of their bodiesthe heart. Throughout history, writers, poets and scholars have referred to the heart as the seat of mans identity, his soul, his will, and have described it as the symbolic organ associated with love and emotion. The heart is found many times throughout the Bible. In Proverbs 15:13 it says, A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken. Additionally, in Proverbs 23:7a you can read, For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he... In recent years, research has substantiated that the heart is much more than just an organ that pumps blood throughout the body. There is evidence to indicate the heart has intelligence, is involved with our feelings and emotions, and plays a role in memories. It appears it also has a part in helping our brain with the interpretation of the world around us. The heart is now being referred to as our second brain. The heart is part of what is referred to as the enteric nervous system, which includes neurons that extend into our gut. These neurons are identical to neural cells in the brain. Through the connection of the enteric nervous system to the central nervous system, the heart is communicating constantly with the brain by way of neurological, biophysical, biochemical, and electromagnetic signals. In fact, evidence indicates the heart sends many more messages to the central nervous system and brain than it receives. And, it appears it can influence our perceptions, decision-making, health, and emotional well-being. We have all heard expressions such as follow your heart, or trust your heart, or go with your gut feelings. These are all expressions that compel us to listen to that still small voice within us and to follow through with conviction. Other expressions we often hear are he has a great heart, or she has a lot of heart. These expressions typically refer to people who manifest loving-kindness and compassion. Compassion lies at the heart of all religious, ethical and spiritual traditions. It is the embodiment of the Golden RuleDo unto others as you would have them do unto you. Compassion means having a feeling of sympathy or a shared suffering for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate suffering or to show a special kindness. A quote from Leo Buscaglia describes the simplicity of compassion and the impact it can have on another, Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Nobel Peace Prize winner, Mother Teresa was the epitome of living life with a heart of compassion. She gave of herself unselfishly and dedicated her life in the service of ministering to the poor, sick, orphaned, and dying. Her heart of compassion is an example to all. Although it is not every persons purpose to be a Mother Teresa, each of us can develop a heart of compassion to the full potential of what we were called to be. The following story is a great example of being sensitive and aware to opportunities to utilize our heart of compassion.
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...HEART OF COMPASSION CONTINUED

This story is an excerpt from Steve Goodiers newsletterLife Support Systems. It is part of an article entitled Good People in the August 17, 2009 issue (http://www.LifeSupportSystem.com.) A trucker relates that he was traveling through rural North Carolina on I-95 when a brown sedan merged onto the highway. It weaved back and forth between lanes, causing the driver of the truck to shift into a lower gear. At first he thought the driver was drunk, but when he came closer, the trucker saw an old man shaking uncontrollably behind the wheel. He noticed a Citizens Band aerial whipping to and fro as the car jerked between lanes, so he called on the radio: You in the brown Chevy, if you can hear me, pull over. Pull off the road! Amazingly, he did! The trucker pulled up behind the car and climbed from his cab. The elderly man staggered from his auto and fell into the truckers arms. He poured out a story of months of fear and pain that accompanied the illness of his only daughter. Now he was returning from the hospital where it was decided that she would cease any further treatment. In the hospital he remained strong and stoic for his daughter, but out on the road he fell apart. The two men talked for the good part of an hour. The father eventually decided to share his pain with his daughter and said he felt good enough to drive home. The men embraced and the trucker followed him for 50 miles. As they drove along, the two talked together on the radio. The older man finally acknowledged that his exit was ahead and thanked his new friend again for the help. The trucker asked if he could make it home all right, and suddenly, a third voice broke in on the conversation, Breaker 19, dont worry, good buddy. Go your way. Ill see him home! Glancing in his mirror, he saw a livestock truck move into the exit lane behind the brown sedan. A heart of compassion is a dynamic force that is essential to human relationships. It is something that can be nurtured and developed. I would like to share a simple acronym with you that you may find helpful in developing a heart of compassion in your quest to becoming your best. Most of us currently own or have owned a pet at one time or another in our life. A pet is something we love and we often feel it gives loves back. Having a pet is similar to having a child. You feed it, take care of it, get it medical attention when needed, and many allow their pet to sleep in bed with them at night time. Most folks are very compassionate about their pets because they are very near and dear to their hearts. By using the word PET as an acronym, we can see an example of simple steps to take in developing a heart of compassion. Pis the first letter of the word PRACTICE. We can practice having a heart of compassion by being aware in all of our interactions with others. We can practice simple acts of kindness. As with any activity in life, as you practice you will become more proficient and develop a habit of living with a heart of compassion. Eis the first letter of the word EMPATHY. We can empathize with others who are suffering or going through difficult times. We can offer whatever assistance we are capable of givingwhether it be as simple as a listening ear, or giving of our time, or in some cases, it could mean financial support. When we focus on the things we have in common with others and not on our differences, it becomes easier to empathize and give from a heart of compassion. Tis the first letter of the word THANKFUL. When we remember to count our blessings, and think about all the things we have for which to be thankful, then it is much easier to have an attitude of gratitude. This allows us to function from a place of wanting to give, help, and serve others with a heart of compassion. Think about your PET to assist you in having a heart of compassion on your Quest to Becoming Your Best.

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