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Middle Adulthood: Intimate Relationships & "The Sandwich Generation"

Overview
Human beings have an inborn need to develop intimate relationships. It has been showntimeand time again that these relationships are necessary as a source of self-esteem, happiness, and good health. Intimate relationships are not limited to heterosexual marital relationships. Never-marrieds and divorced middle-aged adults do establish intimate relationships with significant others, with friends, family members, and sometimes even co-workers. Married or not, unhappiness in a long-term relationship is more disruptive and severe than in less-long-lived relationships. The nature of intimate relationships changes as people move from early to middle adulthood. Passionate or romantic love transforms into companionate or affectionate love. Mutuality develops between the individuals as they progressively get to know each other better and learn how to satisfy each other's needs. They are now in the stability phase of the family life cycle. Another stage of the family life cycle which occurs in middle age is the empty nest period. This stage is rife with potential for growth as well as potential for problems in the long-term relationship now that the parenting role is no longer a daily one. In relationships that continue to grow and develop, we typically see gender convergence occurring in the marital relationship. Today, we see the emergence of a new social phenomenon known as the "revolving door generation." Not all empty nests remain empty as young adult children often return home. This phenomenon presents the family with a number of challenges to manage. Middle age has been referred to as the "sandwich generation" as they continue to parent their young adult children (even if they have moved out of the family home) and also have demands coming from their aged parents. This can result in the middle-aged adult most typical females, being "squeezed" between the younger and older generations of their families.

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Questions to Consider
1. How do you define intimacy in a relationship? 2. Have you experienced or observed examples of gender convergence in your own life or in the lives of middle-aged people you know? What are those examples? 3. What can a couple do to make the empty nest period a deeply satisfying one? 4. How do you think parents should handle experiencing the revolving door phenomenon? 5. Why do you think that typically it is the middle-aged daughters and daughters-in-law who find themselves experiencing the sandwich generation?

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Vocabulary

Read these terms with their definitions before viewing the program. Empty nest stage oft nily life cycle The stage which occurs typi y in middleadulthood once the last child has been launched. Gender convergence Rigid gender-role demands loosen during middle-age allowing both men and women to explore feelings and behaviors previously reserved for the opposite sex. Mutuality Concern for meeting the needs of oneself as well as one's partner. Parental imperative The demands of parenting young children typically force mothers and fathers into the traditional sex roles in order to parent successfully.

Revolving door generation A new social phenomenon where young adult children return to the family home for a variety of reasons after having previously moved out on their own. Role overload A states that can occur in the sandwich generation where the demands of the younger and older generations exert incredible demands on the middle-aged adult in the middle. Sandwich generation Middle-age adults (mostly females) whofindthemselves squeezed in between their young adult children's needs and those of their aged parents. ^m' Stability stage of the family life cycle The stage which occurs in middle adulthood where equity, intimacy, mutuality in roles and responsibilities have evolved.
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Instructional Objectives
When you have successfully completed this module, you will be able to: 1. Describe the relationship between middle-aged adults and their partners. 2. Describe the gender convergence that occurs in middle adulthood. 3. Describe the empty nest and the revolving door phenomenon which often occur in middle adulthood 4. Describe how middle-aged adults function as the sandwich generation
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Self-Test

After studying the objectives and watching the video, take the self-test to check your progress. 1. Which of the following people is particularly vulnerable when problems occur with a partner? a A person in a long-term marriage b. A person who has just been married. c. A person who is in a cohabiting relationship. d. A person who has been married for five to seven years. 2. Which of the following statements is an accurate description of most marriages after thefirstten years? a Financial problems are usually overwhelming. b. There is a reduction of tension as children become more independent c. There are more fights over equality in domestic work d. Job demands increase so lesstimeis spent in shared activities.
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3. Marsha's mother has moved into Marsha's house to recuperate from hip-replacement operation. Marsha's daughter has also moved back to her parent's home after a painful divorce. Marsha is most likely to be experiencing: a. a midlife crisis. b. the strains of experiencing gender convergence. c. the satisfaction of renewing her maternal role. d. the burdens of the "sandwich generation." 4. Which of the following statements explains why women are particularly likely to report an increase in marital satisfaction during middle adulthood? a. Marital satisfaction is closely tied to financial security, whichtendsto improve during middle adulthood. b. The successful launching of children is a source of great pride and happiness. c. There often is improvement in marital equity during this period. d. For all of the above reasons, women are likely to report improvement in their marriages during middle adulthood. 5. Concerning gender roles in later life, David Gutmann believes mat: a. during middle and late adulthood, each sex moves toward a middle ground between the traditional gender roles. b. once the demands of the "parental imperative" are removed, traditional gender roles are quickly reestablished. c. gender roles are unrelated to life experiences. d. all of the above are true. 6. Fifty-year-old Jake and his wife Melinda have been married for 25 years and have three children. Except for discussion about children, they have had minimal contact What does this mean for their marriage in middle age? a. It will not change, because they are accustomed to this pattern of noncommunication. b. It will be sorely tested, since they must now spend moretimetogether. c. It will improve, because their time alone will allow them to renew their relationship. d. It will automatically end in divorce 7. Young adults who return, after leaving home for some period, to live in the homes of their middle-aged parents, are called: a yo-yo children. b. empty nest children. c. the revolving door generation. d. sandwich generation. 8. What is the main reason for young adults returning home to live with their parents? a Loneliness b. Economic issues c. Dependency issues d. Caregiving 9. Couples who in middle adulthood must fulfill the needs of both their children and their aging parents are known as the: a yo-yo children. b. boomerang children. c. sandwich generation. d. dual caregiver generation 10 Forty-year-old Rachel has never been married. Compared to how her aunt who also never married, felt at this age, how is Rachel likely to feel? a. More satisfied with her life. b. Less satisfied with her life. c. About equally satisfied with life. d. It is impossible to predict how she feels.

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