Domestic Violence

By Robin Broekhuizen ZIS-Grade 8 Englidsh

J8 summit 2012

Domestic Violence against women

Domestic violence against women is a global and a genuine serious and hidden issue. Its very common, whilst people think it is a rare situation that people come across. Domestic violence is unknown, so do you know what domestic violence is? The English government refers to domestic violence as "Any incident of threatening behavior, violence or abuse (psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional) between adults who are or have been intimate partners or family members, regardless of gender or sexuality" (Domestic Violence London). Domestic violence is a sort of abuse in a household. If you do know what domestic violence is, do you know why it occurs? Is it because of the woman, the kids or the man? Its usually because of the man in the household. But, why does the man actually abuse his partner, who hes supposed to love? Its mainly due to lack of self-esteem, stress, and mental issues. Lots of men have self- esteem issues, and some of these men treat that problem by abusing their partners. A great amount of men feel they dont have enough control over the family. That makes them want to abuse their partners to show who is the commander in the house, and who decides what to do and when to do it (Why does he do that? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men). They feel they have more power and control over the whole family. Adding to that, men can be quite possessive over their women. Being in control and having the power makes them more secure about their relationship with their partner. Another factor of men having low self- esteem is his childhood. Lots of abusive men have gone through domestic violence in their past. If they got abused as a child, lots of men tend to think its because of them and that its their fault (Cause of Domestic Violence, interview). Abusing his partner will make the man think hes doing the right thing, and he will think his abuser will finally be proud of him. It can also come from anger of his childhood (Cause of Domestic Violence). Lastly, jealousy tends to be a role in mens abuse (Evolution and the Prevention of Violent Crime). These violent men are jealous of what other families have, and want that too. This connects to low self- esteem, because they are feeling powerless and not in control. This is because their family isnt as happy or nice as some others. They wont know better, but to use abuse to make their family perfect as well. Many people think self- esteem issues only occur in

women, stressing about their bodies. However, men have self- esteem issues as well, but they their consciousness. So, how do they handle it? Abuse. But, sometimes their abuse can just come from stress. The majority of people think women are the stress types. However, as much as it might not be fair, men have the most to do. They have to work every day, pay bills and make sure theyre okay financially. This can put a lot of pressure and stress on men (Gelles 128, Socialization and Stress Explanations for Spouse Abuse). In developing countries, its hard to get a fair wage and be able to pay your bills (Intimate partner violence: causes and prevention). For many people, this is the case. All these people try to find a good way to express their frustration. Often, women are successful, and some men are too. But, some men start using violence to express their frustration. An anonymous interviewee said: My dad would often come home and be stressed out. He was usually stressed out about the amount of work he had: paying bills and grading papers. That led him to being mad about the most ridiculous things. For example, something mightve not been in the right place, or maybe a book wasnt standing the way he wanted it to. I was always the target for him, and he would come storming in my room, and start hitting me and throwing me against the walls. All because some little thing he was stressed about (Anonymous interview). Men can be very stressed out, about a lot: bills, work, their families, or even just lack of sleep. They then dont know how to handle their stress, and start using violence to express it. Stress is not always the reason men are abusive, though. Some men can also be not mentally well. I asked the interviewee why she thought her dad physically abused her. Her answer was: I dont know. I never knew. My parents were so fake; I could never see what they were actually feeling. I think the main reason my dad hurt me, is because he wasnt very right in his head. Meaning, he didnt know better because of his childhood. And, I think he didnt know how much pain he was causing and when to stop (anonymous interview). She also told me that some people have to go through terrible times throughout their lifetime, like not being like others. This can also be a major effect on being abused. These people, they dont know any better. If they grew up being abused, they couldve been depressed, or they mightve even

been scarred for life, thinking thats the way they need to take care of their family (anonymous interview). We grow up being taught how to grow up and how to handle situations that were likely to come across in our life. These men never got taught. They got hit, and they considered that being their lessons of how to handle growing up. There are a little amount of people with disorders, like borderline personality disorder, antisocial disorder and bipolar disorder (Domestic Violence Screening: Prevalence and Outcomes in a Canadian HIV Population). These are all causes of why a man might hurt his partner. So yes, some people are very unfortunate to not be able to do anything about their abuse. They dont want to, but they feel its the right thing to do. Theres always a reason behind domestic violence. Whether its because of lack of selfesteem, stress or mental issues. Domestic violence is a very serious issue that isnt much known. Most people think its a very rare situation, but it happens often. A magazine has done a survey, and 59% of women that replied saying they have gone through domestic violence, or are going through domestic violence (CBS news). So, with these consequences, what can there be done? If you are an abused woman, or child, tell someone. Just give it a try. Tell a psychiatrist or a good friend. Its better than going through all this pain. If you know someone that you think is abused, talk to them, and warn someone. Its hard to do this, but its important. Also, if you would like to help with building support homes, where they prevent abuse from happening, donate money to an institution like UN Women (UN Women). Even just spreading the situation will make a difference, and be great help. Domestic violence is common and a difficult situation to handle, but with your help, theres a bigger chance to stop it.

Works Cited page Anonymous, Personal interview. 28/5/12. Bancroft, L (2002). Why does he do that? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men. Berkley Books.ISBN [[Special:BookSources/0-339-14844-2|0-339-14844-2]]. Causes Of Domestic Violence. 20022012. 5/31/2012 <http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/causes-of-domestic-violencefaq.htm>. Gelles (1997), p. 128 Jewkes, Rachel (2002). "Intimate partner violence: causes and prevention". Lancet 359 (9315): 14239.DOI:10.1016/S0140-6736(02)08357-5. PMID 11978358 Roach, J. (2011). "Evolution and the Prevention of Violent Crime". Psychology 02 (4): 393.DOI:10.4236/psych.2011.24062. edit Seltzer, Judith A., Debra Kalmuss (1988). "Socialization and Stress Explanations for Spouse Abuse". Social Forces(University of North Carolina Press) 67 (2): 473 91.DOI:10.2307/2579191. JSTOR 2579191. Siemieniuk, Reed A.C.; Krentz, Hartmut B.; Gish, Jessica A.; Gill, M. John (2010). "Domestic Violence Screening: Prevalence and Outcomes in a Canadian HIV Population". AIDS Patient Care and STDs 24 (12): 763770.DOI:10.1089/apc.2010.0235. PMID 21138382.Focus Areas. UN "Survey: 30 percent of women abused in relationships." CBS News. 3 May 2011. CBS Interactive Inc.. 6/1/12 <http://www.cbsnews.com/2100-500202_162-20059316.html>. What is the Cause of Domestic Violence?. Women's aid. 5/31/2012 <http://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-violencearticles.asp?section=00010001002200410001&itemid=1275>. Women. 4/30/12 <http://www.unwomen.org/focus-areas/>.

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