Do you feel "all in" with a healthy eating pact then, next thing you know, in the throes of what feels like an uncontrollable binge? Does food fill your head and distract you from having fun and living your life? Listen up. Guest expert Carolina Guízar and I explore this on the latest episode of the Love Food podcast. Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds. Looking for more Food Peace? Want to help support the Love Food Podcast? Check out my new After the Letters Projecton Patreon. I have exclusive weekly mini-episodes for $29/month and other freebies. Find more at Patreon.com/LoveFoodPodcast This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how. This episode's Dear Food letter: Dear Food, As a child, I never thought much about you. You were just the breakfast my mom made in the morning before she went to work. She put my brother and mine’s breakfast on a tray and lay it on her bed as she got ready. Usually you were something easy to make, eggos waffles smothered in syrup or scrambled eggs and ham with milk or orange juice. You were just the lunch my mom packed the night before - a sandwich filled with meat, cheese and mustard, chips, and sometimes a couple of chips ahoy cookies. Since my mom was a single working mother, my abuela would pick my brother and I up from school to take to her house until my mother was off work. We would be given vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup while we did our homework. FYI- my mother’s side is Cuban and if anyone hearing this is Hispanic they will understand that potatoes and rice are our vegetables. My abuela was an incredible cook and would always prepare some sort of meat with rice, black beans, and fried savory plantains she always made. My favorite meal was chicken fricassee- dark chicken meat, potatoes, olives, peas, and onion cooked in a flavorful tomato sauce. Looking back, I didn’t know much about you because I wasn’t able to explore you. You were just something that was put in front of me and I was told to eat. Every now and then we had some alone time when I went out with friends or to a drive through after I got my license. I came from a very frugal family, so our “dinner’s out” would be chick fil a, Panera, or Domino’s pizza. It wasn’t until freshman year of college where we finally had alone time. Starting college, I was thin and felt good about my body. As the year went on, I was overwhelmed with having free access to all the foods I love on my meal plan. Chick fil a, Au bon pain, panda express, starbucks, and food halls filled with candies, chips, ice cream and more. I stuffed my face with you thinking nothing of it while I went out drinking 4 times a week. Nights out usually ended with late night eating with friends. By the time spring break came, I realized just how much damage you had done to me. My clothes were tighter, my stomach was bigger, and my face had filled out a lot. I didn’t look like myself.  When I went home that summer, I made a pact with myself that I would work out and eat healthy. I wanted to see what my healthiest body would look like. I wanted girls to envy me and boys to desire me. I started to run every day and do a workout video off youtube. I stopped drinking for a month. I did a ton of research on healthy eating. Food, you changed into something I ate to give me the body I became obsessed with having. You changed to a form of rules that has damaged the way I see you even now. I ate cooked chicken and 99% lean turkey with no oil and only cayenne because I feared olive oil would make me fat. I only ate fruit in the morning because I read that the sugars metabolize differently in the afternoon. I only dressed my salads in balsamic vinegar because of the high calorie grocery store dressings. When you became these rules, the way I viewed everything changed. I was addicted to the praise I received when I got results, and didn’