Narratives

(How to do a better job!)

Read the topic

Read the instructions
Look carefully at the pictures for ideas

Only choose one idea from the sheet.

Start thinking about something entertaining but not silly or ridiculous

Look at the pictures

The first part explains what the topic is about and gives you some ideas to start with. After you read this part, look at the pictures. Think About reminds you of the parts of the narrative you must include
Remember to: tells you what you will be marked on and things you need to remember. Read every single word twice

There are 3 parts to the instructions

Think of an idea
It cant be from a book, film or tv show.
It needs to have an interesting beginning, a middle bit where something goes wrong, then a clever or thoughtful ending (dont do: I woke up and it was all a dream puleese!) Dont think of something too complicated or involved, keep it simple so you can finish it in the time - it should take 1-2 pages and you only have 30 minutes writing time.

Lets have a go
The Topic is Discovery
You discover a member of your family is really an alien You discover a toy you had from long ago and it brings back memories You discover you have amazing powers You discover a hidden room in your house

You discover a really cool shop/place

You discover a new friend in someone unlikely

Your turn

The Topic is Discovery

With a partner, think of 4 really great ideas for the topic Discovery Decide which are your best 2 Join with another pair and share your best 2 ideas As a group of 4, decide on the best 2 ideas from the 4 Now join with another group of 4 people and do the same thing Decide on the best 2 ideas from the group of 8 and tell them to the class

The Topic is Winning

Your turn
With a partner, think of 4 really great ideas for the topic Winning Decide which are your best 2 Join with another pair and share your best 2 ideas As a group of 4, decide on the best 2 ideas from the 4 Now join with another group of 4 people and do the same thing Decide on the best 2 ideas from the group of 8 and tell them to the class

Now make a plan!

Your plan should be in point form only
You dont have to write in proper sentences

First sentence should say who and where

Then 2, 3 or 4 sentences explaining what the complication or problem is in time order Then a quick sentence saying how it all finishes or resolves itself

For example
3 little pigs in forest decide to build new houses 1st builds house of straw, wolf blows it down, pig runs to next brother 2nd builds house of sticks, wolf blows it down, both pigs run to next brother 3rd pig builds stone house, wolf cant blow down Wolf comes down chimney, dies in fire

First sentence tells who and where Whole plan only took 5 sentences

Sentences have lots of small words missing

Dot points only Story is told in time order

We are going to write a story plan for Goldilocks and the Three Bears Think about the story then write the first line of your plan
Was it something like this?
3 bears make porridge, too hot, go for walk in forest

Your turn

Now write the next sentence that introduces Goldilocks

Was it something like this?
Goldilocks finds house, tries chairs, breaks babys chair

Now write the part about the porridge

Was it something like this?
Tries everyones porridge, eats babys porridge

Now write the part about trying the beds and going to sleep
Was it something like this?
Tries beds, falls asleep on babys bed

Now for the finish, how does it end?

Was it something like this?
Bears come home, find Goldilocks, she runs home.

Lets practise making plans

Choose from these ideas, and make a plan for one of them
The adventures of a wicked younger brother or sister and how what they deserve A shopping trip that goes disastrously wrong they get

Finding a baby dragon Someone is abducted by aliens Someone finds they have an amazing power
The casual teacher isnt what they seem

A child wins a million dollars

The visit

Whats next?
Once upon a time ...... One day I ...... Your opening has to GRAB! your audience
Boring!

Grabbing the Reader

The purpose of your introduction is to:

grab your audience so they want to keep reading

provide information about who and where so they understand what comes next

Story Opening
You can make your opening unusual by asking a question Did I ever tell you about my little brother, Igor? Will he bite me? wondered Julian as he bent down to pick up the strange little creature from the floor of the cave. How did I get myself in this position I wondered as I tried to untie the rope from my wrists Where to next? Sophie asked herself as she wandered through the maze.

 Will he bite me? wondered Julian as he bent down to pick up the strange little creature from the floor of the cave. How did I get myself in this position? I wondered as I sat in the cupboard and tried to untie the rope from my wrists. Where to next? Sophie asked herself as she wandered through the maze.

Notice how each opening sentence grabs the reader Notice how each opening sentence starts with a question Notice how each opening sentence not only tells you who, but where the narrative is taking place Each sentence uses the word as which automatically makes an interesting complex sentence instead of just a simple one

Story Openings
Another good way to start a story is with someone speaking, but be careful that you punctuate it properly Ill see you after school today! snarled Blake, pushing a finger into my chest and glaring at me.
But why? Joel whined at his mother, stamping his foot on the kitchen floor. What do you think you are doing young man?! the principal demanded of me as I brought my skateboard to a halt.

Your turn
Write just an opening sentence with either a question or direct speech for the following ideas: You wake up one morning to find yourself in a strange place
A weird noise is coming from inside the cupboard A car crashes through Sarahs bedroom wall Your best friend suddenly doesnt want to play with you anymore It was the biggest spider Riley had ever seen

A neat, easy little trick!

So, youve just written an amazing and interesting opening sentence that:
grabs the reader

says who and where The next step is to add some emotion and/or feeling to your main character, by saying what he/she feels, smells, tastes, hears etc. at this time. This is an awesome extra that shows what a great writer you are

Rex bounded into the dark cave, sure his master was here. Suddenly he stopped and listened. He could hear a faint cry for help and thought he smelt something familiar. He looked at me! my sister whined as we set off on our annual holiday to Aunt Lillys. The car already smelt of suncream and lollies, and I could hear the tapping of my mothers fingers on the seat in front. The darkness surrounded me as I felt my way around the cave. How did I get here? I wondered. I could feel the hard, wet surface under my fingertips and felt very alone and frightened.

Let me show you how

Your turn
Add the next part to these opening sentences; telling the reader how the main character feels, what they think, hear, taste, smell, see etc.
Jessica ran as hard as she could through the forest, trying to reach the safety of home. The clouds in the sky skimmed by as Alan lay in the grass trying to make shapes out of them.
I knew I had only one last chance to rescue them. The dragon turned its beady eyes towards me.

I stood turned to stone, watching them.

Build Your Character

You have a picture in your head of the main character (most of the time it is probably you!) However your reader doesnt know that, so you have to let them know more about your character in at least 2 other places in your narrative. You need to give a bit more information about them by showing what they think, how they feel or even a bit more factual information about them in different places. This builds your character for the reader.
Otherwise you reader is only able to imagine a kind of half person, who isnt real or believable.

Building Character Ill show you what I mean. Imagine you are writing a narrative about
Jessica couldnt believe that once again she had lost her little brother in the supermarket. Her mother had asked her to look after him while she waited at the meat counter, but within two minutes, he was gone yet again. She could hear the noise of other children, but none of them sounded like Geoffrey. She could see the bobbing heads of other children, but none of them looked like Geoffrey.

losing your younger brother in the supermarket. This might be your beginning ...

So the beginning has said who, where and given some information about our main character and what she can hear etc. Later in the story you might have something like this:
Jessica felt so relieved she had found him. Her heart was still pounding from the panic she had felt at losing him once again, but at least her mother wouldnt be angry with her now.

After your fabulous opening, you then need to tell the story step at a time. When you reach a new step, you need to put it in a new paragraph. The new paragraph could be when something new happens, its some time later, somebody new comes into the story or the story has now moved to a new place. Where should the new paragraph go in this piece of writing?
... The dragon slowly stretched her mighty wings and I stood back, amazed. I vowed I would return later to give her some food. After dinner that night, I visited her again.

The Complication

Is it a change in events, time, place or character?

.. My friend Amelia had never spoken to me like that before and I felt hurt. At Graces birthday party something similar happened. She .....

Is it a change in events, time, place or character?

... John just stood there, sorry he had ever tried to play such a trick on a teacher. Later in the principals office he .....

Is it a change in events, time, place or character?

Because narratives often have a lot happening, with changes of times, events and places, sometimes we get so excited and carried away by our writing that we dont remember to put in what the reader needs to make sense of what is happening.
This is when we need connectives and conjunctions to help us pull it all together.

The Complication

Can you think of some connectives that show that time has passed?
After that, before he, the next morning, that afternoon they, much later, once she had, next he, following this she, a little while later, Jason and his friend ... Notice how you use pronouns to show what is happening. But if you have more than one character, you may have to use their name instead, otherwise the reader doesnt know which character you are talking about.

Pesky Pronouns
See if you can find what is wrong with these pieces of writing...

Dean and his friend entered the cave. He picked up the magical sword.
He entered the cave. He picked up the magical sword. He slashed at the dragon. His head fell off.
What! Now someones head has fallen off!? But of course if you reread your work properly, sickening tragedies like this wont happen!! Groan!

Who picked up the magical sword??

I dont know! Youll have to ask the idiot who wrote it!

Pesky Pronouns
The general rule with pronouns is that you should use them alternately with the persons name. One time their name, the next time a pronoun taking the place of their name, then back to using their name again. .. Sandy came cautiously into the cave. Sandy waved her sword wildly with all her might and struck a fatal blow. Sandy had killed the dragon. This sounds much better. Sandy came cautiously into the cave. She waved her sword wildly with all her might and struck a fatal blow. Sandy had finally killed the dragon.

The Complication
Its not called a complication for nothing, sometimes they are so complicated the reader cant make sense of what is happening! Writers need to do 3 things to make sure this doesnt happen. Reread everything after they have written it! (not just at the end.) Whats the second thing? Reread everything after they have written it as they are going, this is what good writers do all the time! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Whats the third thing? (no, its not what you are thinking!)
Add extra information into sentences explaining whats happening as the actions or events are taking place

Which is the most important?

THEY RE-READ WHAT THEY HAVE WRITTEN ALL THE TIME
Did you say they re-read what they have written as they go, all the time?
What an idiot! No wonder his stories dont make sense!

Yes! I said they re-read what they have written as they go!!! (all the time)

Well they do anyway! All the time, as they go, constantly, never stopping, on and on But if they did that, they wouldnt have any time to write anything new!

I said, they reread what they have written all the time

You can see what is going on in your narrative in your head as you write, but your reader cant see what you see. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so you have to paint a picture with your words, so the reader can see exactly what you are seeing. For example:
Oh no! she screamed as she reached out towards the body.
When she looked closely at his face, she noticed something strange happening. Tina scrambled hurriedly backwards as she realised he was turning into a zombie. Give me blood he croaked, turning his vacant eyes towards her and raising his tattered hands up into the air.

She looked around desperately before grabbing the dripping knife.

Your turn
There are some sentences written below, and you need to write them out but add an extra piece of information that explains what actions are taking place while the sentence is happening..
Can I go to the movies please? asked Tara. Are you coming too? asked Logan. Dominic listened intently. Marli asked Janine to help her.

The Complication
Sometimes children start their stories really well and remember to do all the right things. Then when they get half way through, they get so carried away by saying this happened, then that happened, then this happened, that they stop being so careful about the quality of their writing, and just kind of hurry to get it finished. At all times through your narrative keep thinking what each sentence sounds like to the reader. Its like having an icecream, its nice to lick all of it carefully and make the most of it. Half way through we dont suddenly start gobbling it down and make a mess everywhere.

Great narratives have

terrific descriptions of people, events and objects. Good writers do this by using strong adjectives, helping adverbs and imagery that will make great pictures in the readers head.
What do adjectives describe? Proper or common nouns. First, pick out the nouns in this paragraph, then find the adjectives. The adjectives are always close to the nouns.
The immense dragon slowly stretched its leathery wings and flapped them noisily before lifting off the blackened ground. Its icy eyes slashed jaggedly through the smoky darkness and small tendrils of smoke curled around its shark-like teeth. It teetered unsteadily, clawing wildly at the air before lurching off into the dark. The pale moon shone weakly like a spluttering candle then all was still around me. nouns adjectives

Great narratives have

interesting verbs or action words. A character shouldnt run, they should spring or scramble. Dont use went, use travelled, or visited. They describe verbs. What do adverbs describe? First, pick out the verbs in this paragraph, then find the adverbs. The adverbs are always close to the verbs.
The immense dragon slowly stretched its leathery wings and flapped them noisily before lifting off the blackened ground. Its icy eyes slashed jaggedly through the smoky darkness and small tendrils of smoke curled around its shark-like teeth. It teetered unsteadily, clawing wildly at the air before lurching off into the dark. The pale moon shone weakly like a spluttering candle then all was still around me. verbs adverbs

Adjectives
Write an interesting sentence about each of these nouns using a great adjective; dont use boring bread and butter words, use rich delicious words instead - words that make a picture in the imagination of the reader.
A cat lying in the sun The moon at night An old teddy bear

An old shoe in your wardrobe A tree blowing in the wind

 One of the very best ways of using imagery in your writing is through using similes. A simile is where two things are compared, using the words like or as. Although teachers usually start you off with things like He was as tall as ... (and you have to complete it) It was as small as ... That stuff is boring! Good writers think of better similes than that!! Your similes must be scrumptious and interesting, the more unusual the better - rich chocolate language, not plain bread and butter language. For example: He lurched across the playground like a demented spider.

Developing Rich Imagery

Examples of Similes
Her old face was lined like a crumpled up paper bag. The ball spun crazily like a dizzy dog. The cobweb hung lazily like wafting lace. Her smile was so big it was like a banana His forehead creased like folded material as he tried to work out the maths problem The skinny goat looked as though it would fall down a crack if it turned sideways The cat pawed the material as though it was making bread dough

Finish these similes using rich chocolate language, not tired, over-used bread and butter words
The sun beat down like ... She ran down the street as though ...

Your turn

The rain fell like ...

His head felt like ... The wind whistled ... The hunger in her stomach felt as though .... The fan turned lazily like .. He lifted his head and listened ... The zombie moved like ...

Vivacious Verbs!
Another thing your writing needs is interesting verbs or actions. Dont use said, try . . . screamed, enquired, asked, announced, exclaimed, mumbled, whispered, croaked, demanded, replied, answered, stuttered, proclaimed, spat, shouted, hissed, etc. Welcome, echoed a voice eerily.

With a partner, see how many other words you can come up with instead of using the word said.

Vivacious Verbs!
Verbs provide your action, explain whats happening and need to be chosen with care so you dont used tired ones that leave people bored by your writing.
Remember, you are always trying to create interesting pictures in the imagination of your reader.

Think of a sentence for each of these words, but find a better word to take their place, one that is much more interesting.
eg. Flying - The witch was sputtering along on her broom.

Your turn
Ran Crying Yelling Climbed Saw

Adverbs
Just using good verbs isnt enough, you need to build a clearer picture by describing the action, using adverbs. They help the reader see exactly what sort of action is occurring, also where, when and how.

Instead of: The dog ran down the road.

You could writeThe dog scampered excitedly down the road.

Instead of: The kitten was fast asleep. You could writeThe kitten slept peacefully in the hammock out on the verandah. This tells us where the action is happening. Or better still The kitten slept peacefully in the hammock out on the verandah until the dog woke her after lunch up by licking her face. This adds when it happened.

Adverbs

Lets Get Going!

A picture will come up on the screen. Look at it carefully for a short while and think about some interesting adjectives, similes you could use to describe it. Then write 2 or 3 sentences about what you see.

Last Word

So you see anyone can write well if they just watch, learn, imagine, try things and give it a go.

But only if they remember to reread their work as they go!!

I had to include this because I liked it so much!