BELIEVING IS SEEING Facilitator of Growth (Behavior) DSL Program: family School-Religion Response-able (Feeling) I am Ok (Belief) By Dr. Juan Kanapi DSL Program, September 2010 FLOW (Lifestyle) ORIGINAL BLESSINGS ORIGINAL SIN POSITIVE CORE Survivor- manipulator (Behavior) Family School- Religion Victim-hood (Feeling) I am not Ok (Belief) Struggle (Lifestyle) TRANSFORMATION Challenging Negative Self-Talk
ABCDE MODEL A Adversity An Undesired event B Beliefs Unconscious explanation of how reality operates C Consequen ces Experience of Fear, anxiety, deflation , frustration , sadness D Disputation Challenging of beliefs E Energizatio n New behavior as a result of the disputation process Disputation Process Evidence What is the evidence for or against belief?
Alternatives
What are other ways of looking at adversity?
Implication
If the worst scenario is right , What is the worst that can realistically happen? Usefulness Will thinking about the problem now do me good? If not, Write down the troublesome thought Schedule a specific time for thinking things over After these, shift your focus and do other things. Growing from Anger
Basic Elements of Anger
A reality is unexpected. A desire/value is threatened or Violated by the reality. There is an absence of full control or powerlessness over that reality. Reality is experienced as physically or psychologically unpleasant. Reality is perceived as wrong & rejected Managing Anger
Anger: The Misunderstood Emotion Managing Anger What Does Not Works Verbal aggression that provokes the other Cathartic expression against a superior Reciting grievances to a 3 party who encourages your anger Expression that makes a stressful situation worse Keeping the emotion in that allows a stressful situation to continue
Managing Anger What Works
Physiological relaxation exercises
Anger will simmer down if you wait long enough count to 10
Reinterpret a supposed provocation disputation process
Humor transform injustice into absurdity
Calm, non-aggressive feedback about your anger use I messages
Managing Anger What Works
Assertiveness training Ventilating anger is cathartic only if it Restores your sense of control Reduces your belief that you are helpless,powerless
Go for therapy to bring into consciousness psychological traumas, embedded in the unconscious, which makes one vulnerable to unproductive anger. Questions 1. What are the most important things that you learned about yourself as a person, as a School Head? 2. How do you feel about yourself as of now? 3. What are some things that you will do in order to make a better person, a better School Head?