INTERNET-ADDICTION

understanding
counseling - coping
Dr. Samuel Pfeifer
You can
double-click
as much as
you like, but
my hand is
not a
computer
mouse!

And I am not
listening to
the command
open!
LAN-Party Lone Addiction
Computer Game Addiction in China has become a major
health problem.
Four areas with addictive potential
Internetpornography
Chat
Online-Games
Internet-Gambling
www.psy77.com
No human longing is more
powerful, more difficult to rein in.
Sex has enough combustive force
to incinerate conscience, vows,
family commitments,
religious devotion,
and anything else in its path.
Philip Yancey
Case vignette 1
The 13-year old daughter wants to access the internet using
her fathers laptop computer. Suddenly, she is confronted
with a hidden folder containing thousands of pornographic
images.
Within her, a world is breaking apart. Her father whom she
has admired, the good teacher, the active Christian how
does it fit with such material? She suffers a nervous
breakdown, cries all day long, stops eating, skips school.
She smashes the laptop by throwing it out of the window.
The whole family is in a dramatic crisis. It is in this
situation that they come for family therapy.
Example 2
Letter of an addicts wife:

I am desperate. Our marriage has been fine over the last
ten years until we got an internet access.
My husband spends hours in the internet nothing but sex
sites and chats with ladies offering their services. I have
pleaded with him, but he only gave me hollow promises.
Now he does it in secret, when I am out of the house.
Our phone bill has reached utopian heights.
He yells at the children, he lies to me.
For four years I have tried to understand him, to talk it over
with him in a calm way, but now I am at my wits end
Example 3
A 32 year old woman seeks therapy for intense feelings of
anxiety. Over the last few years she has had a positive
experience with chatting, which has helped her in her
loneliness.
A few months ago, she has made contact with a man in her
chat room at first only in the web they chat, they flirt,
they feel mutually attracted to each other. They make a
date. The atmosphere is loaded, they finally have sex.
Soon after, the man is not interested in her any more, they
lose contact.
Only now, she starts to realize that she has been used. She
is worrying about a possible HIV-infection. But she also
wonders: Where has my internet addiction led me? What is
happening with me?
Example: Self-Worth
A boy writes about his girlfriend:
She tells me that in the chatroom she can pose how she
wants to be
She thinks nobody would like her because she is
overweight but that is hogwash. O.k., she is somewhat
molly but nobody would take offence; I like her that way.
In the Chat, she is desirable; everybody thinks she has a
perfect body and is the most beautiful girl in the world
But she thinks if they knew how she really looks they
would not like her any more
Cybersex just a click away
easily accessible
affordable
anonymous

Cyber-Psychologist John Suler describes Toxic
Disinhibition
You dont know me.
You cant see me. Being invisible gives people the
courage to write and think things they would never do in a
real-life situation.
Some statistics
Sex Industry Statistics
$57.0 billion revenue world-wide - $12.0 billion of this is US revenue,
more than all combined revenues of all professional football,
baseball and basketball franchises or the combined revenues of
ABC, CBS, and NBC (6.2 billion).


Porn on the Web
25% of total search engine requests are porn-related.
12% of total websites are pornographic

Affecting Children
100,000 websites offer illegal child pornography.
90% of 8-16 year olds have viewed porn online (most while doing
homework).
Average age of first internet exposure to pornography is 11 years
old.
Statistics II
Affecting Adults
20% of men admit accessing pornography at work
13% of women admit accessing pornography at work
10% of adults admit having internet sexual addiction.

Business Productivity
70 percent of all internet porn traffic occurs during the 9-to-5
workday.
Nearly one out of three companies has terminated an
employee for inappropriate web use.
SOURCE: http://healthymind.com/s-port-stats.html
Pornographic internet content
Everything is possible
soft pornography
hard pornography
sexually explicit in the extreme, and devoid of any other
apparent content or purpose including violence, sado-
maso, electroshocks, urine, feces, very fat women, pregnant
women etc., gang-bang, animals; even snuff-videos
killing victims in front of the camera.
pedophile content (often with sadistic torture)
Chat with explicit sex talk often leading to real-life
encounters.
Live-Video
Mobile telephones: growing industry of short films,
pictures, explicit sounds.
A maladaptive pattern of internet use, leading to
clinically significant impairment or distress as
manifested by three (or more) of the following,
occurring at any time in the same 12-month
period:
(I) tolerance, as defined by either of the following:
(A) A need for markedly increased amounts of time on Internet to achieve
satisfaction
(B) markedly diminished effect with continued use of the same amount of
time on Internet.
Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD) -
Diagnostic Criteria
Author: Ivan Goldberg, M.D.
Criteria IAD II
(II) Withdrawal, as manifested by either of the
following:
(A) the characteristic withdrawal syndrome
(1) Cessation of (or reduction) in Internet use that has been heavy and
prolonged.
(2) Two (or more) of the following, developing within several days to a month
after Criterion 1: (a) psychomotor agitation - (b) anxiety - (c) obsessive
thinking about what is happening on Internet - (d) fantasies or dreams about
Internet - (e) voluntary or involuntary typing movements of the fingers.
(3) The symptoms in Criterion B cause distress or impairment in social,
occupational or other important other area of functioning

(B) Use of Internet or a similar on-line service is engaged in to
relieve or avoid withdrawal symptoms

(III) Internet is often accessed more often or for
longer periods of time than was intended.
(IV) There is a persistent desire or unsuccessful
efforts to cut down or control Internet use.

(V) A great deal of time is spent in activities
related to Internet use
(e.g. organizing files of downloaded materials; researching
Internet vendors, trying new browsers.)

(VI) Important social, occupational, or recreational
activities are given up or reduced because of
Internet use.
Destructive consequences
(VII) Internet use is continued despite knowledge
of having a persistent or recurrent physical, social,
occupational, or psychological problem that is
likely to been caused or exacerbated by Internet
use
sleep deprivation, marital difficulties, lateness for
early morning appointments, neglect of
occupational duties, or feelings of abandonment in
significant others.
Isolation
Job loss

Value shift destructive effect
Online addicts realize that they give up values
which have been important to them:
Respect of the other person.
Repulsion of violence and coercion.
Christian values of integrity, purity and self
discipline.

Pathological Cybersex destroys the life of a person
Internally (distorted fantasies, continuous craving)
in relationships (partner, family)
in the workplace (risk of job loss and poverty)
Complications - Comorbidity
Alcoholism: Alcohol is being used to get calmer but also to enhance the
sexual excitement.
Substance abuse (from Cocain to Viagra)
Depressive Episodes: caused by negative psychosocial consequences of
the cyber-addiction or the break-up of relationships.
Suicidal thoughts: out of despair and hopelessness.
Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior: Online addicts develop complex
rituals to conceal their dependency and to make sure their family,
colleagues or company cannot access their hidden area.
Paranoid Thinking: Fear of being discovered and being ashamed lets
them associate even marginal observations with personal threats.
(Examples: If a police car passes: I hope they do not come to
confiscate my computer! If the boss asks for a meeting: Does he
want to confront me with my Internet activities during last week?)
Differences between men and women
MEN
Kick through visual material
Sexual excitement with masturbation.
Collecting mania (thousands of pictures etc.)
Tendency towards violent and abasing content.

WOMEN:
Kick through communication (Chat).
Romantic stories and images (80 %)
Sexual excitement is secondary.
1. Visual Stimulus
2. Sexual Excitement
3. Dopamin Happiness
4. Adaptation Desire for more and
stronger stimuli
5. Loss of control
Limbic
System
frontal
brain
Brain functions in sexual addiction
1
2
3
4
5
Genital Stimulation 2
Quelle: S. Grsser, Charit Berlin, www.isfb.org
Quelle: S. Grsser, Charit Berlin, www.isfb.org
Quelle: S. Grsser, Charit Berlin, www.isfb.org
Addiction requires Detoxification
The biological component of sexual addiction is
not to be underestimated. It can be compared to
substance abuse.
A Sex-Addict is like an alcoholic, but it is his
own the brain which is his bar.
This makes decisive withdrawal necessary.
In contrast to substance abuse, here a return to
controlled sex would be the ideal.
Drive and conscience
Drive
Conscience
Risk factors for compulsive sexuality
Personality: impulse control, self esteem,
introversion, patterns of tension reduction,
Disposition for addictive behavior upon stimuli
(award dependence).
Inner emptiness, isolation, emotional burnout,
neglect of rewarding interpersonal relationships.
Presence of harmful material (just a click away in
the Internet)
Risk factors II
Dealing with hidden emotional pain.
History of childhood trauma / neglect
Pathological search for new stimulation.
Lack of inner discipline / behavioral control
Rationalising negative behavior: This helps me to
relax I owe myself a treat Its only
pictures etc.
Unrealistic expectations towards others, sexual
partners, emotional immaturity.
Risk factors
H = Hungry
A = Angry
L = Lonely
T = Tired
HALT
Acknowledge your addiction
1. Acknowledge that your habit is an
addiction, which requires consequent
action.
2. Realize the fact that you support sexual
abuse and slavery of women and children
with your behavior.

Integration
Limit access
3. Filtersoftware blockade of access
(www.max.com). - Limitations

4. Be accountable to a person you trust. Work
at immature expectations and solution
strategies. Perhaps using special software.
Integration
Transparency
5. Share your addiction with your wife, a
friend or a counselor.

6. Keep your computer in a public room of
the house. Keep certain times to access the
computer to ensure control. Personal
discipline and responsibility.
Integration
Live without the internet!
7. Choose to live without a computer or
internet access for some time (plucking
out your eye!)
8. Attend a self-help group to learn with
other addicts about strategies how to deal
with your addiction. (www.sexhelp.com)
Integration
What about medication?
Serotonin: produced as a side effect of addiction process.
Antidepressants are also elevating serotonin levels.
Could Serotonin reduce Craving? possibly reduce feelings of
emptiness and underlying depression.

Dopamin (increases desire in addiction)
No proven strategies in this area without severe side effects
(neuroleptics).

Opiates: central in addiction, creating the feeling of being high.
Although there are opioid blockers there is no indication that they
reduce non-substance addiction.

Conclusion:
Medication (unfortunately) is not a solution; perhaps partially a
support for behavior therapy, where a person is additionally
suffering from depression.
No
proven
effect!
Goal of therapy: relationship orientation
Not secular vs. Christian
BUT: individually centered vs. stabilizing
relationships.
Short term satisfaction vs. long-term integrity.
Individual lust vs. an ecology of relations.
Double moral standards vs. dignity, respect and
empathy.
Lack of boundaries is destructive conscious
renouncement increases the ability to enjoy.
Strategies to keep from Falling
Watch your spiritual health
Lapses in the spiritual disciplines of meditation, worship, prayer and
healthy self-examination are certain to spell trouble.
Guard your marriage
Regularly evaluate your relationship with your spouse, keeping him
or her involved in what happens in your ministry world.
Take adequate precautions
If you find yourself thinking more about ways to be with a co-worker
than with your spouse, set strict parameters about that working
relationship. Avoid meeting alone with him or her.
Understand subtle signs of sexual attraction
Exchanging notes and gifts, holding hands tightly in prayer, allowing
the arm to linger just a bit longer on the shoulder, offering embraces
more oftenthese may denote a relationship veering into
dangerous territory.
Compiled by Randy Alcorn
Marriage, Sex, and Sacrificial Love
Marriage strips away the illusions about sex pounded into
us daily by the entertainment media. Few of us live with
oversexed supermodels. We live instead with ordinary
people, men and women who get bad breath, body odors,
and unruly hair; who menstruate and experience occasional
impotence; who have bad moods and embarrass us in
public; who pay more attention to our children's needs than
our own.
We live with people who require compassion, tolerance,
understanding, and an endless supply of forgiveness. So do
our partners. Such is the ironical power of sex: It lures us
into a relationship that offers to teach us what we need far
moresacrificial love. (Philip Yancey)
Strategies to keep from Falling
Back off early
When you realize a counselee has become interested in you
personally, it is time to refer that person to someone else.
Maintain clarity in your thinking
Never justify flirting, and never disclose to another person
that you have lustful thoughts about them.
Make yourself accountable
Don't try to be a lone ranger leader.
Guard your thought life
"Our thoughts are the fabric with which we weave our
character and destiny." With good reason Paul encourages
believers to keep their minds focused on things that are
noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and
praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8).
Compiled by Randy Alcorn
Interesting texts, ressources, links
can be found on this homepage:
www.sexhelp.com

Download
Group activity
How has the Internet changed your life?
Do you remember incidents that brought home
the dangers of the internet?
Apart from overt pitfalls, where do you
encounter problems (yourself, your children,
loss of time, excessive surfing etc.)
What are you doing to prevent the dark sides of
the internet invade your life?
Group Activity / Questions