SOCIOLOGY 9

Marriage and Family

Part 2

Human Sexuality
Sex an integral part of being a human person.

it is what we are and not what we have; one is either a

man or a
woman

no one is born in this world as a sexless being

this maleness or femaleness is not just a thing that

hangs or rises by itself
Sexuality what makes a human person

a quality of maleness and femaleness that characterizes

an organism that reproduce in a particular manner

true sexuality is the function of the total personality and

experienced only on the lives of truly mature individual.

To be mature means to be sexually responsible in all moods

and seasons
Sexiness is remote from sexuality. It remains in the surface
in its distorted emphasis on the esternal aspects of a
human beings. TO LOOK SEXY IS NOT NECESSARILY TO BE
SEXUAL.
the sum total of the characteristics that relate to the
maleness and femaleness of the individual
includes the genitals and directly reproductive factors as
well as
other differences in form or behavior that are not
at least immediately
or apparently related to the reproduction
a mans bearded face or his psychological aggressiveness
a womans softer curves and her gentleness aresexual
characteristics

a roosters more colorful feathers, the he-goats bigger horns and

the lions mane, peacock colorful tails etc are sexual characteristics
To be sexual is to be human.Sexual means everything that makes a
man a man, and woman a woman
sexual means something a person is. A way of being to the world.
It is the total personality; a way of thinking, acting, loving and
receiving love, relating to God.
A mode of relating to other human beings and to the world.
Manliness and womanliness need affirmation.Very decisive in
having a very good self image. If rightly handled it can lead to right
personal relationship with same sex, with opposite sex and to God. If
wrongly handled it may lead to entangled persons get dogged down
in sex, ruination of interior self, self-centeredness, manipulation of
other people for ones own end.

 Fully Man, Fully Woman (Human Sexuality)

Man is a sexual being. From the early stages of his development
as persons, the experience of sexuality assumes a vital role in the
formation of personal identity and mode of responding to the
environment.
Gods design for human sexuality
Maleness and femaleness- God created man in his image male
and female he created them(Gen 1:27).
Principles:
1. God gave man and woman an equal dignity.
2. Both should acknowledge and accept that their sexuality,
physical, moral, and spiritual differences and complementarity
are oriented toward the goods of marriage and family life.
3. Their sexuality affect all aspects of the human person.

 Man and woman are different. They could not

and should not be compared.
They are different even to the minutest cells of
their body.
Sufficient to say they are equal since there is no
point of comparison common to both
No one is better than the other, where one is
strong
the other is weak and vice versa.
If they can join their efforts to overcome their
weaknesses then this will be rewarding to both.

 Although man and woman are equal, they are

different to the very depths of their existence.
The more apparent emotional differences are
not mere accidentals or mere attachments to
their common human nature; differences in the
body are revelations of the differences in the
depths of their beings.
Nature indicates the characteristics proper to
each sex.
Man to the other: directed, outward, conquering woman
Woman to the other: attracting, inward, receptive.

One compliments the other; it is the

characteristic which is the source of delight
and pleasure to both.
Aggressiveness on the part of man is good, natural, normal ,
God willed and God intended.
The central characteristic that makes man different from a woman is his

aggressiveness.
Strength and weaknessness are complimentary in male and
woman. Ones personality is enhanced by the other.
Man is there to conquer, woman to yield. Woman likes to feel
helpless in front of a man; man likes to feel strong in front of a woman.
Man is prone to anger and woman will always be there to keep him
cool

and teach him how to control his emotions.

Woman act on intuition; while man act on a practical reason

Summarizing the differences:

Sexually speaking man is eager, aggressive, impatient and
protective , and in his sexual desire he experience a
sense of intense urgency.
In a man the flesh moves the heart; for him love is 90%
physical and 10% psychological.
The mans desire for conjugal union more forceful, ,
passionate, more constant,more easily aroused, more
subject to external stimuli,( sight, sounds, touch and odor)
more sensual and physical.
In a mans sexual arousal sensation precedes sentiments. It
is no surprise then that man by nature is the wooer.

 Essence of Human Sexuality

A. A union of two persons in a:
physical
spiritual
life partnership
whose physical expression is the child
B. This human and sexual union has two inseparable aspects
.
Mutual love oneness, fidelity in love
.
Openness to procreation in moments when conception is
not possible
. Human Sexuality demands a certain Exclusiveness,
Permanence and Possessiveness. It is a precise and delicate
instrument for procreation

 Morality of Human Sexuality

Is there anything sinful about sexuality?
Sex is not sinful. No sex organ , nor its function nor the
pleasure attached to it is sinful.
Sex is sinful when it is used in such a way as to do harm to
oneself or to another less human.
Less human when sex is used in such a way that it
prevents growth, development and maturity.

Sex is a Servant of Man

The sexual life must be an expression of tender
feelings and wishes between two adults of the
opposite sex.

 All sexual activities that creates distance two people or leaves one or the other
in Pain, Shame, Guilt or Resentment is a Failure and a
Perversion even its anatomical and legal trappings are immoral.
We have to free ourselves from seeing in this bodily union something Evil. This
union is the fulfillment of spousal love and an ultimate mutual self-donation is
something noble and a great mystery.
Every abuse is a terrible sin and something sacrilegious.
This union becomes Evil in its isolation.
Sex is sinful:

When it does not help man in the fullness of life.

When one treats self or the other as a thing or sexual object

when one is seeking sexual gratification on a physical, genital level without

the loving self donation which makes intimacy and sexual intercourse genuinely
human acts.

Sex is not a shameful thing, it is a divine gift, ordained to

life, to love and to fruitfulness but only at the service of
and for the sake of eternal values.
Man and woman are made for an intimate communion of
persons in the reciprocity of the gift that each one makes
to the other.
What is sex?
The word refers though not exclusively, to a biologically
based need oriented toward generation of new life. Its real
purpose is a conjunction between procreation and the
education of children.
Ordinarily- it is associated with the act of having/engaging
in sexual activity. It also refers to sexual identity (gender).

It refers also to the totality of ones personality that

makes man distinct from a woman.
It is also a mode of relating to other human beings
and to the world.
Sexual maturity- the capacity to form stable
relationship with the opposite sex which is
emotionally and physically satisfying.
Sexual health (WHO)- is the integration of the
somatic, emotional, intellectual, and social aspects
of sexual well-being, in ways that are positively
enriching, enhance personality, communication and
love.

Biologically

Male
production and protection of the family
reproduction(conceives,
body is full of external possibilities,
suckles) the child
validated and expressed in ACTION.
maternal

Female

bears and
always have a
instinct for

shes always
aware of
potential for child
bearing thru
recurring
menstrual

as a challenge for conquest

2. Result desire is periodical
Tends to love only now and then
conquest for power is temporary
( the reason for his aggresiveness
in love)

dedication conscious, treats each

occassion to express her loving
commitment
tends to persevere thru
commitment is something stable
(tends to be careful and reserved
guard against reserved

surrender of
oneself.
3 Self fulfillment not only in
other centered, mother instinct;
marriage but side by side with a
her emotionalism,concern for
career or outside job.
Details makes her stand behind
the husband and takes care of
the
kids.

detail minded in little ways,

about love life, anniversaries
etc
Self-centered,reason for neglect about
Like thoughtfulness and courtesy that
Result- essential minded
5. Needs appreciation in what he does
and what he is. In what they are;charm
gives more significace in what in what
they do and achievement even to the
Health and physical grooming.
6. Overcomes inadequacy by accominadeplishments .needs partner reassurance

seeks fulfillment and meaning

in her commitment in marriage
tend to give more significance
and
personality

overcomes and masters

quacy making themselves as

Of work and project

attractive as possible
7. Psychological weakness
Loneliness needs to
be reminded
Discouragement. To be humiliated in
his work is an insult.

Differences between a man and a

woman
Maleness and femaleness is a matter of predominance of
attributes both physiological and psychological.
There is no such thing as 100% male or 100% female
Neither absolute or exclusive ( the concept of superiority
or inferiority is a cultural distortion)

 Sex education- an instruction to strengthen

family life, to increase self-understanding and
respect, to develop capacities for wholesome
human relationships, to build sexual and
social responsibility and enhance competency
for responsible courtship, marriage and
parenthood.
Male-female differencesmaleness/femaleness is a matter of
predominance of attributes. There is no such
thing as 100% male or female.

I.

Qualities of mind and heart

Men
Women
tend to be more logical
tend to be more intuitive
tend to be less emotional
show emotions readily
more often insensitive
sympathetic and caring
more egoistic, want success, want affection
money, power.
tend to be loners
want company
poor sense of warmth
add warmth by her efforts
and sensitivity
control imagination
let colorful imagination rule
and allow mind to rule
more realistic
idealistic
men are clearer, direct
beat around the bush

Men
Secure, sure of themselves
Fulfillment in marriage and
also in their work
Physical qualities
muscles and bones bigger
More hair
Less sensitive skin
shorter life span

Women
insecure, reassurance
always needed
centered more on their
marriage and family
smaller
less hair
more delicate
women live longer

 Qualities of the Spirit

men are less religious
less patience
Sexual qualities
sexual repertory limited

more religious
have more patience
capable of conception,
child bearing and

breast
learn love through sex

feeding
learn sex through love

 Premarital sex
They are not lawful because Christian doctrine states that
every genital act must be within the framework of marriage.
Chastity- a moral virtue, a gift from God, a grace, a fruit of
spiritual effort. It is an apprenticeship in self-mastery which is
a training in human freedom.
Offenses against chastity:
1. Lust- a disordered desire for, or inordinate enjoyment of
sexual pleasure. It is morally disordered when isolated, from
its procreative and unitive purpose.
2. Masturbation- deliberate stimulation of the genital organs
to derive sexual pleasure.
3. Fornication- carnal union between unmarried man and
unmarried woman.

5. Pornography- consists in removing real or

stimulated sexual acts from the intimacy of the
partners, in order to display them deliberately to third
parties.
6. Prostitution- sexual intercourse offered for hire.
7. Rape- forcible violation of the sexual intimacy of
another person.
8. Homosexuality- refers to the relations between
men or between women who experience an exclusive
or predominant sexual attraction toward person of the
same sex.

All practices mentioned are against

the sixth commandment of God.
The ninth commandment forbids all
malicious and evil thoughts that are
impure.

 Reaching Out in Love

Love is the fundamental and innate vocation of
every human being. God called man to existence
through love and at the same time for love.
It has been described as:
1. the first and greatest commandment.
2. a decision, not just a feeling.
3. a commitment, care and concern for the other.
4. an active power in man.

 love
develops slowly
ends slowly
centers on 1 person only
motivates + behavior
survives separation
controls physical contact
selfless
brings the approval of
family and friends
produces security
recognize reality

infatuation
develops rapidly
ends rapidly
may involve several
destructive effect
can not survive
exploits physical contact
selfish
brings disapproval
produces insecurity
ignores them

 Love and Lust

True love reflects the cardinal virtues; lust
does not.
(love is prudent, just and chaste; lust is
imprudent, unjust and unchaste).
True love is self-giving; lust is self-getting.
True love is a gift from God, lust from Satan.
True love is submission to God, lust is
submission to self.

 Elements of love
1. care- shown by the active concern for the life
and growth of the loved one.
2. responsibility- ability to respond to the needs,
expressed or unexpressed of another being
3. respect- the ability to see a person as he is,
to be aware of his unique individuality.
4. knowledge- active in-depth consciousness of
another persons real image, leading to genuine
communion.

 Kinds of love
Sensible love- which men share with
animals, geared to satisfying the needs of
biological life.
Rational love- rooted in mans spirituality
and openness to being.
concupiscent love- seeks good that will
perfect himself.
benevolent love- seeks good that will
perfect the beloved.

Eros- when one focuses on himself and seeks his own full
expansion in his being
Agape- when one looks to others and devotes himself to
their fulfillment.
Qualities of Mature love
1. Altruistic- lovers give affection, time and energy to the
beloved without considering what will be received in return.
2. Freeing- one is allowed to be what he is
3. Honest- allows each other to know each other very well
4. Happy, sad, and neutral
5. empathetic- feeling with another and not sympathy
6. Strengthening- growing together

7. mature lovers are unique, self-defined

8. resilient
9. imperfect
10. spiritual
Conjugal love- the unifying bond between husband
and wife that makes them remain true to the
covenant they made on their wedding day.
Characteristics: fully human
total
exclusive and faithful until death
fecund

Human- an act of free will intended to endure and grow by

means of the joys and sorrows of daily life.
Total- special form of friendship where the couple
generously share everything without undue reservations or
selfish calculations.
Fecund- not exhausted by the communion of the couple
but destined to continue, raising up new lives.
Practice of Love- demonstrated very well in 1 Cor 13:4-7
Love is patient and kind, is not jealous or conceited or
proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love
does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with
evil, but is happy with truth; love never gives up and its
faith, hope and patience never fails.

 The Gift of Friendship

To share oneself deeply with another person exemplifies a
direct move toward friendship. Whenever we break barriers,
we begin to value the other as a gift of God. As we converse
in trust, we establish a firm foundation for friendship.
One necessary requirement of marriage is genuine
friendship between husband and wife.
Inspiring thoughts on friendship:
1. a true friend brings joy into life, he pours back into a soul
his self-respect.
2. a friend inspires, encourages, gives room to grow
3. a friend gives time, love, warmth, understanding

4. a mark of true friendship is the privilege of being yourself and

still be accepted.
5. friendship is a two-way street.
6. friendship means to appreciate the other person.
Qualities of true friendship
1. must morally be helpful to both parties.
2. there must be a genuine basis of agreement between the 2
parties.
3. characterized by a spirit of self-sacrifice.
4. ability to listen5. trustworthiness- spirit of confidentiality
6. reverence- not an object to be possessed but to be cherished
7. receptiveness- open to others

 Friendship in marriage
1. It is a trust.
2. Evolves slowly
3. It is patient
4. It is not competitive.
5. It is open-ended
6. it is outgoing
7. it is playful

 Looking for the Significant Other

There comes a time in ones life when one decides
to choose someone for a possible life-time partner.
Factors affecting mate selection
1. geographical and residential propinquity
2. share valued cultural similarities
3. pressured by friends, family or cultural norms
4. one or both are lonely
5. one or both believe begetting children will
enhance their lives

Qualities to consider in choosing a partner

1. physical qualities- physical disturbances
esp those hereditary in nature should be
known. Age gap may also affect their
compatibility
2. psychological qualities
3. ethical qualities- truthfulness, purity of
mind, frugality, modesty, loyalty and honesty.
4. religious qualities- must be of the same
belief

 Dating
A getting to know you period; it is the occasional spending
of time together by a boy and a girl for the purpose of
companionship, of getting acquainted and, and for some kind
of entertainment, usually without any intention of marriage.
Functions:
1. Provides pleasure, recreation, fellowship and fun.
2. Provides an experience in learning how to get along with
the opposite sex.
3. It gives an opportunity for maturing male and female to
find the type of friends they need.
4. It serves as a window shopping period for the individual
to test his own personality in relation to others.

Kinds of dating
1. random dating- this occurs among high
school students and the pre-arranged
meetings are sought only for recreational
purpose. There is no intention of marriage.
2. Group dating- where several boys and
girls go together to a party, picnic, movie,
etc.
3. Steady dating/single dating- the regular
and frequent dating of a couple with the
exclusion of other dates, over a period of
time, with a purpose of getting married.

 Courtship
Takes place when one is seriously contemplating
marriage and has chosen someone as a possible
life-time partner. Time is a basic element during
this period; getting to know you period also.
Courtship patterns
1. Traditional- controlled by parents and other
kinsmen. This is rooted on the Filipino view that
marriage is a union of 2 individuals but also of
their families.

2. modern courtship- modernization,

industrialization and urbanization have brought about
rapid changes in the social and economic structures
and cultural environment in the young thereby
affecting also the traditions in courtship.
Conditions that ensure a period of courtship that best
prepare the couple:
1. both should
2. both should
3. both should
dignified way.
4. both should

be open and sincere with the other.

strive for mutual understanding.
express their affection in a chaste and
seek spiritual formation

New matters appearing in courtship

1. determining whether they truly love each other.
2. discovering each others defects
3. deciding to reveal about ones past life.
4. understanding whether it is alright to date others
during this period.
Role of parents: Couples ought not to neglect
seeking prudent counsel and enlightenment of their
parents for the choice of their marriage partner.
Parents on the other hand, have no right to interfere
or impose themselves in a way in their children when
they choose their partner.

 Engagement- publicly announced intention of

becoming married at some future date. It takes place
as soon as the couple commit themselves to
marriage.
Types/kinds of engagement
1. informal- where a mutual verbal agreement is
made to test their love for each other, to become
better acquainted and test their compatibility.
2. formal / betrothal- executed in writing in the form
of a quasi-contract, signed by both parties, the parish
priest or 2 witnesses. Both families should be
present.

Length of engagement may range from 3 months

to a year, depending on the couple and their
families. This will them time to reassure themselves
of their compatibility and true love.
Purpose of engagement
1. period of trial
2. preparation for marriage
Pre- Cana conference a requirement for engaged
couple whereby they attend a conference usually
given by the parish where they intend to get married
and deals primarily on different aspects of marriage.

Things to settle during engagement

1. Number of children
2. economic life
3. housing facilities
4. existing responsibilities which one is shouldering
Revelations to make:
1. personal defects- communicable disease, drug
addiction, drunkenness etc.
2. hereditary defects
3. mental breakdown
5. prison term record
6. outstanding debts
7. pregnancy by another man/previous marriage

 Getting Prepared for Marriage

Being ready for marriage- include the
first 2 main stages in marital preparation:
remote preparation- begins in childhood
where family training is important.
proximate preparation- involves a more
specific preparation for the sacrament.
Getting prepared for marriage
consists of the last stage, the immediate
preparations.

 Church requirements according to Canon Law

1. Catechesis and preparation for marriage- by
preaching, by catechetical instruction
2. reception of confirmation, penance and the
Eucharist
3. investigation of freedom to marry
-determine that the parties are free of
impediments
-ascertain that they have sufficient knowledge of
Christian doctrine
-determine if their consent is free
- publication of marriage banns- to uncover
impediments or other circumstances which would
impede a valid and licit marriage.

4. pre-nuptial interview 1. to find

out any possible impediments as well
as causes in defective or vitiated
consent. 2. to see if the parties are
sufficiently instructed on the
Christian doctrine.
5. baptismal certificate
6. permission to marry in another
parish

 State Requirements according to the

New Family Code
Essential requirements:
1. legal capacity- male and female, 18 years
of age not under legal impediment to marry.
If one or both parties are 18-23 years oldwritten consent from parents needed
If 23-25 yrs old parental advice required
2. consent freely given in the presence of
the solemnizing officer. This means that it
should not be obtained by fraud, force,
intimidation or undue influence.

Formal requirements:
1. authority of solemnizing officer:
a. incumbent members of the judiciary
b. any priest, rabbi, imam or minister of any church
c. consul-general, consul, or vice consul of the Phil.
In case the solemnizing officer is not legally
authorized, it may still be valid provided that either
or both parties believed in good faith that said officer
has legal authority.
2. a valid marriage license

A marriage can be solemnized even without

a license under the following conditions:
a. if either or both parties are at the point
of death
b. if the residence of either party is located
where there is no means of transportation
c. marriage among Muslims or members of
ethnical cultural minorities
d. marriage of a man and woman who had
lived together as husband and wife for at
least 5 yrs and without any legal impediment

3. A marriage ceremony- where the

contracting parties personally
declare before the solemnizing
officer in the presence of at least 2
legal aged witnesses that they take
each other as husband and wife.

 Family Involvement and Personal

Preparations
The pamanhikan
The
guest list
Ninong and Ninang
Invitation card
Secondary sponsors
The
wedding clothes
The wedding venue
Photographs/Video
The reception
Flowers

 Personal preparations
1. the spiritual preparation
2. psychological preparation
3. social adjustment- applies to the
relationship with persons who come
into ones married life, especially the
relatives and friends of the couple
4. economic preparation

VI Immediate preparation for marriage

as a state of Life
l.Definition
1.1 According to the revised code of Canon Law
the marriage covenant by which a man and
a woman establish between themselves a
partnership of their whole life, and by its own
very nature is ordained to the well-being of the
spouses and to the procreation and upbringing
of children, has, between the baptized, been
raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a
sacrament.

 Marriage is from God and part of his saving plan

The love between man and woman is the sign
value of his own faithful and providential love
Christ restoring the original order of creation
strengthened by Gods grace to be faithful to each
other and their covenant with God
Commitment to unity and procreation, being a
sacrament, is indissoluble and leads to holiness
Making God the center of their reference
Their matrimonial vows in the sacrament is the
contract between them

l.2 according to the new family code

Marriage is a permanent contract of a permanent
union between a man and a woman entered into
in accordance with law for the establishment of
conjugal and family life. It is the foundation of
the family life. It is the foundation of the family
and an inviolable social institution whose nature,
consequences, and incidents are governed by
law and not subject to stipulation, except that
marriage settlements may fix the property
relations during the marriage within the limits
provided by the Family Code.

 The FCP definition states that it is only a social contract but a

special one since there is no other contract like it due to its
consequences to society.
The parties are not the one who sets the terms and agreement
that established their conjugal union and family life nor could
terminate the contract at will.
It is only the State that can render void or voidable the contract
since it is a party to it and its interest to be protected.
Civil marriage is a special contract to be protected by the State.
An inviolable institution and confers to the couple the civil effects
of marital status, legitimacy of the children and conjugal
properties.
Like Canon law it hinges on family as the backbone of the society.

2. Kinds of marriage
2.1 Essential Properties

1.1 Unity/ Faithfulness- exclusion of a third party in the

marital relationship rooted on the total giving of oneself in
marriage
Fidelity the utter and unreserved almost abandoned giving of
the partners to one another-physically, emotionally, mentally,
spiritually-so that the thought of any marital affection for or
with another person is alien to their growing as persons and
towards each other.

1.2. Indissolubility/Lastingness - firmly so because it is a

sacrament
Whatever God has put together, let no man put
asunder against divorce couples should not dissolve and
cannot dissolve- for it is a covenant and a sacrament

 Jesus would like to bring out the original vision

of marriage in the plan of God.
The old covenant is characterized by a
steadfast, forgiving and patient love.
Marriage is not within the effect brought about
by the regime of sin. Therefore, it constantly
needs to be saved from its vulnerability
2.2 According to Canon law
2.1 Valid no obstacles is consciously placed
by the parties involved

 2.2 Ratified- valid marriage between baptized persons

but is not consummated
2.2Ratified and consummated once consummated

- not ratified- if one is not baptized

2.3 invalid-marriage that is null, not sacramental
because it is not a contract
2.4 in bad faith- if the marriage is a violation of the
canonical requirements
2.5 In good faith if the parties believe that the
marriage is valid
2.6 putative marriage- is an invalid marriage because
of a diriment impediment or lack of consent

 Canon law applies the principles of faith and

morality to concrete situations in the
experience of the baptized persons
The Family Code of the Philippines- applies to
all Filipinos for as long as they have not
renounced Filipino citizenship
Muslims are governed by the Shariah Law
Both codes recognize as valid the natural
marriage among indigenous peoples as
celebrated in their own rituals and traditions.

 A marriage is valid because the covenant entered

into by the couple in marriage is a sacrament.
The I do publicly done by the couple helps
them to be faithful to each other like christ to the
church.
Consummation is the completion of consent by
which the spouses mutually give themselves to
each other in the conjugal act, exclusively their
right, privilege and duty to each other.
Ratified and consummated marriage is absolutely
indissoluble.

 2.3 According to Family Code

2.3.1 Valid- a sacramental marriage
between to baptized persons
2.3.2 Void the absence of the
essential or formal requisites of
marriage
2.3.3 Voidable- a defect in any of the
essential requisites of marriage
3. Essential Requirements for
marriage Validity

1.1 Valid marital consent

1.2 Freedom to marry
1.3 Canonical Form requirements set by the church
- Canonical interview
- pre- Cana seminar
- three consecutive Sundays wedding bann
Matrimonial consent is an act of the will by which a man and woman
by an irrevocable covenant mutually give and accept each other for
the purpose of establishing marriage.
Consent should be done knowingly, deliberately and with complete
freedom, lawfully manifested by parties legally capable of marriage.
Being a liturgical the church has the right to prescribe rules for its
worthy, valid and licit celebration

3.2 According to Family code

1.1 Age
1.2 Relationship between them
1.3 No prohibition due to public policy
2.2 Consent freely given in the presence of the solemnizing officer
2.3 Formal Ceremony
Church marriage is recognized by the family code as valid since it
satisfies the essential and formal requisites set by the State law
Valid marriage includes license from the Local Registrar, canonical
ceremony assisted by a priest licensed to solemnize marriages by
the Civil registrar General, a ritual held within his jurisdiction
3.1 Valid marriage license
3.2 Authorized solemnizing officer
3.3 Formal ceremony during official time in the officers habitual
place and office

4. Classification of individual

4.1 Physical defect(Nature)

1.1 Age
1.2 Impotence
4.2 Moral Bond
2.1 Existing marriage
2.2 Disparity of Cult/Worship
2.3 Sacred orders
2.4 Perpetual Vow of Chastity
4.3 Crime

3.1 Abduction
3.2 Murder or Parricide for marriage
4.4 Relationship
4.1 Consanguinity
4.2 Affinity
4.3 Public Decency
4.4 Legal Relationship

 Loving and Living Together

It is through their abiding love for each other, infused by the
love of God that will make the couple nurture the promise of
living and loving together. It is love which is the inner principle
and motivating factor, the power without which marriage and
family life can not even begin, exist, grow and perfect itself as
a community of persons in love.
Stages in the married life
1. honeymoon stage-the couple feels and acts very much
in love, usually because they have just been married.
2. stage of disillusionment- one or both partners become
disenchanted or disappointed either with the marriage or to
the spouse who has not lived to the ideas had of him or her.

3. stage of misery if the disillusionment are not

resolved, the disappointment would soon lead to regret
and suffering. This is where marriages break up.
4. stage of acceptance- comes with actually seeing
the reality of marriage, the reality about the partner.
One is able to cope with them. Love of the partner, love
of the family, sustained by Gods abiding love make this
possible.
5. stage of maturity- there are couples who are
capable of making the big jump from the honeymoon
stage to this maturity. They come into marriage with
mature expectations about each other, about marriage
itself and the married life.

 Steps in resolving and coping problems in married

life
1. Resolving differences as soon as possible, by
talking with each other.
- do not let the sun set on your problem
- settle it among themselves, however, if a
need arises, agree on getting outside advices.
- pray together before tackling the problem
2. Compromise- the willingness of both partners
to sacrifice a part of their position in the interest
of peace and togetherness.

3. Conversion- willingness to completely surrender ones

position and accept those of the spouse. To forego ones ideas,
plans and desire in favor of the other require a genuine
maturity of character.
4. Counseling- the assistance from the outside to help them
resolve their differences. This should serve as a good reason
for selecting the ninong or ninang sa kasal, in the light that
one day, the couple may need advice and guidance.
5. Acceptance- the occasion when the wisest attitude is to
take ones partner as he or she is.
6. Sublimation- if all other methods fail, a partner accepts the
inevitable for entirely lofty reason. Eg. The wife who accepts
the cross of an unfaithful husband in a religious spirit,
conscious

that through her acceptance, the

grace of his conversion may be won.
7. Abandonment- to abandon
oneself to divine providence is a step
that leads one to see the view of a
loving Father in heaven and to sense
His paternal protection in the midst
of a trying situation.

 Responsible Parenthood
Answering the call to fulfill the plan
of God to create new life and to
accept the children that naturally
come into the life of husband and
wife and with His help, to take good
care of them.
Today, it includes not only
responding to Gods call of having
children but also the parents ability

Responsible parenthood or Planning the family

This should be carried out by taking into account the
following:
1.There must be a clear knowledge of and respect for the
biological processes in human beings.
2. Reason and will are capable of and must be able to, when
necessary, control human instincts and passion.
3. When certain physical, economic, psychological and social
conditions are present in the light of serious reasons and with
due regard to the practice of Christian love, the couple may
decide for a time not to begin a new life.
4. The planning, decisions and chosen means are the results
of the couples serious deliberation in keeping with their duties
towards God, themselves, family and society.

Means of planning the FamilyThe Church in her desire to guide the

members to religiously abide by
Gods will, recommends the use of
the natural methods of planning the
family. These do not disrupt, interrupt
or destroy the normal biological
functions of the human body, nor
terminate an already existing life.
Natural methods- they are planning

1. Mucus examination method(ovulation

method/ Billings method)
2. Basal body temperature method
3. The symto-thermal method
4. Breastfeeding as a means
The Artificial and Unnatural Means
It either disrupts the unitive act of love that
produces life or destroys what is natural and
disturbs the normal working of the biological
cycle, especially in the woman.

Artificially preventing the sperm and ovum from uniting:

condom
diaphragm
spermicides
Thwarting the sperm from meeting the ovum through
suppressing the ovaries to release the ovum:
pills and injectibles
Interfering with the development or growth of the
fertilized ovum: morning after pill, IUD
Directly disrupting the life of the fetus: abortion
The use of medical method to mutilate/destroy healthy
body parts: vasectomy, tubal ligation

Unnatural means- resort to unnatural means that are opposed to the

way the sexual act should take place as indicated by nature:
coitus interruptus, homosexual acts, masturbation
As a loving community- the family is a community of husband and
wife, parents and children, grandparents, other relatives and
members of the household staff.
It is where:
1. Life with God is most important.
2. Communication is open and constructive.
3. Forgiveness and reconciliation with each other.
4. Respect for the household staff.
5. Concern for the welfare of the community.
6. Concern for the poor.

 Marriage on the rocks

Signs: loss of communication
non-caring attitude
constant irritation and
impatience
excessive nagging and
jealousy
home and child neglect
frequent absence from home

1. Estrangement- where the

relationship between the husband
and wife is strained or no longer
existing. They may still be living in
the conjugal home but apart. There is
no formal or clear about the breakup.
2. Separation or abandonment
separation- when the husband and
wife no longer live together but there

3. Legal separation and canonical

separation
Canon law states that the essential
properties of marriage are unity and
indissolubility.
New Family Code defines marriage
as a special contract of permanent
union between a man and woman
entered in accordance with law.
That is why the State and the

The objections against divorce

Divorce is the dissolution of the marriage bond.
The following are the reasons for its unacceptability:
1. It is against the very nature of Christian love even of
human love.
2. It is opposed to the vows made during the
sacrament(matrimony) and contract rites.
3. It is contrary to Christs teachings on the lastingness of
marriage.
4. It opposes the need for the stability of family life in order
that husband and wife as parents to their children to look
after them and bring them up in a Christian way.

 Annulment is not divorce

Divorce is legal dissolution of a valid contract of
marriage.
Annulment is the declaration, after due investigation,
that a marriage was not effected or valid from the very
beginning due to some invalidating factors or that a
marriage may be declared as not valid because there is
a ground for an annulment.
Acceptance and reconciliation: Canon law says that it is
earnestly recommended that a spouse by Christian
charity and solicitous for the good of the family, should
not refuse to pardon an adulterous partner and should
not sunder the conjugal life.

 Diriment Impediments (Canon Law)

1. Physical defect: age
impotence
Age- male before completing his 16 th year and the female before
completing her 14th year of age, can not validly enter matrimony.
Under the New Family Code, both parties must be at least 18
years old.
Impotence- incapacity to perform sexual intercourse whether on
the part of the man or the woman.
Antecedent- existing prior to marriage
Perpetual- that which can not be corrected
Absolute- with any person
Relative- with particular individual
By its very nature, it invalidates matrimony.

Sterility neither forbids nor invalidates marriage.

2.Moral Bond- existing marriage
disparity of worship
sacred orders
perpetual vows of chastity
Existing marriage bond- a person who is held to the bond of
a prior marriage even if it had not been consummated,
invalidly attempts matrimony.
The Civil Code states that any marriage subsequently
contracted by any person during the lifetime of the first
spouse shall be illegal and void unless:
1. the 1st marriage is annulled or dissolved
2. the first spouse had been absent for 7 consecutive years

A civil marriage becomes an obstacle in case of a

future sacramental marriage in case this is done to
a different partner.
Disparity of worship- marriage between two
persons, one of whom is baptized in the Catholic
church or has been received into it and has not left
it by means of a formal act and the other of whom is
a non-baptized person is invalid.
Sacred orders- persons who are in holy orders
invalidly attempt matrimony. The law of celibacy
and the diriment impediment of sacred orders start
binding since deaconship.

Public perpetual vow of chastity- persons who are

bound by a public perpetual vow of chastity in a
religious institute invalidly attempts matrimony.
Public vows are either temporary or perpetual. A
marriage contracted under temporary vow is only
unlawful.
3. Crime- abduction
crime
No marriage can exist between a man and
woman he has abducted or at least detained for
the purpose of contracting marriage.

Crime- a person who for the purpose of entering

marriage has brought about the death of that
persons spouse or ones own spouse, invalidly
attempts marriage.
The impediment of ecclesiastical origin arises
from conjugicide perpetrated by one of the
accomplices or by mutual help.
4. Relationship- consanguinity
affinity
public decency
legal relationship

Consanguinity- bond that unites persons of the same blood.

Stock- the person from whom the related parties descend.
Line- is the series of persons who come from the same stock.
Direct- when the persons descend from one another
Collateral- descend not from one another, but all from
common stock.
Degree- is the measure of the distance between the persons
who are related to one another.
In the direct line of consanguinity, marriage is invalid in all
ancestors and descendants.
In the collateral line- marriage is invalid up and including the
fourth degree.

Civil Code states that marriage between the following are

incestuous and void from their performance:
1. between ascendants and descendants of any degree
2. between brothers and sisters whether full or half blood.
3. between collateral relatives within the fourth degree.
Affinity- arises out of a valid marriage even if not
consummated, and exists between the husband and those
related to his wife and vice versa.
Affinity of direct line in any degree whatsoever invalidates
matrimony.
The Civil code also invalidates marriages between
stepfathers and stepdaughter/stepmother and stepson.

Public Decency- this arises from an invalid marriage

after common life has been established or from
notorious and public concubinage.
It forbids marriage between the man and the mother
and daughter of the woman with whom he contracted
an invalid marriage or with whom he lived in public or
notorious concubinage, likewise between the woman
and the corresponding relatives of the man.
Legal relationship- they can not contract marriage
between themselves who through legal relationship
arising from adoption are related in the direct line and
second degree of the collateral line.

Void Marriages in the Family Code only

1. Proxy marriage- the personal appearance of the
contracting parties being mandatory as required by law,
thus proxy marriages are void.
2. Parties below 18 years- those contracted by the parties
below 18 years of age are voided even with parental
consent.
The CBCP also pegged the age requisite at 18.
3. False affidavit
A form of marriage of exceptional character where no
license is required; known as ratification of marital
cohabitation.
Requisites: a. parties must have cohabited for at least 5
years.
b. there is no legal impediment to marry each other.

Now, if the parties cohabited less tan 5 years or if there

is a legal impediment yet they executed an affidavit,
marriage is invalid for lack of marriage license.
Void marriages in the Canon law
1. disparity of worship
2. sacred orders
3. public vows of chastity
4. public propriety
5. lack of due discretion
6. ignorance
7. conditional marriage
8. proxy mandate