Professional Business

Writing
Emails exercises
BCA Session:9
Dr. Sriparna Basu

Class Assignment
Analyze the correctness & impact of the mails and
create improvements where necessary
Prepare a checklist of dos and don'ts with respect to
emails, which are a must observe in a business setting

Example One
To:
All Students
From: H. Handa
Re: Dress code for Summer Internship Interviews
Date: 1 September 2016
Companies will be visiting next week. A strict code of
conduct with respect to dress is to be observed. There
should not be anyone flouting the dress code. It is
advisable for ladies to opt for formal clothes in order to
make the right impression.
1. Salutation
2. Complementary close

Changes
Opening & close
Overly brusque,overbearing tone should be stopped
Shd. Be neutral observation
Clarity on issue

To:
All Students
From: H. Handa
Re: Dress code for Summer Internship Interviews
Date: 1 September 2016
Dear students,
Companies will be visiting next week for the
summer internship interviews. The dress code for
the event is business suits (black) for all students.
Please comply with the above dress code. Duly note
that failures could be debarred from the interview
process. Wishing you all the best.
Placement Cell
FORE school of management

Analyze this internal mail &

correct where necessary
Date:
28 May 2015
From:
Kunal Ray, Director
To:
All senior Executives
Subject: Travel Budget Cuts Effective Immediately

We need to start making some budget cuts in our travel expenditures. These
include staying in cheaper hotels, arranging flights for cheaper times, and
renting more reasonable cars.
The company needs to cut travel expenses by 25 percent. This means youll no
longer stay in fancy hotels and make last minute, costly changes to your travel
plans.
Youll be expected to make these changes in your travel habits immediately.
Travel allowances will reflect the 25% reduction. In the future, any expenses
beyond the allowance will come out of your own pockets.

Analyze this bad news message & make improvements

if necessary

Subject: Your application to NTU

We are writing to let you know that we are not able to
consider you for admission at the Nanyang Business
School, Nanyang Technical University (NTU) for the Fall
Session of 2016.
We had a very large number of applications, which
means we could only accept 15% of the applications that
we received. We had to select those profiles that were a
very close fit with the program.
We wish you the very best for your future,

Analyze this bad news message & make improvements

if necessary

Subject: Your application to NTU

We regret to inform that you have not been selected for
admission at the Nanyang Business School, Nanyang
Technical University (NTU) for the Fall Session of 2016.
This year we received a large number of applications,
which means we could only accept 15% of the
applications that we received. We had to select those
profiles that were a very close fit with the program.
We wish you the very best for your future,

Customer Complaint: Analyze the

contents & improve the mail on the
next slide
A new American Tourister suitcase purchased by a
customer about a month back has developed a tear
in its fabric. The customer has asked for replacement
of product since it is well within the warranty period.
Your letter is a response to this complaint from the
manager of the American Tourister service center.
Go to the next slide for the mail.

Dear Mr. Sharma,

Thank you for your letter of September 15. We appreciate your inquiry and want to satisfy our
customers with high-quality products and service.
The American Tourister luggage carries a one-year warrantee on all parts and labour under normal
usage. Page number 6 of your owner's manual states that if the luggage has a defective
component, the company, on receiving complaint, is responsible for replacing the said component
free of cost within the warranty period. This situation, however, does not apply in case of fabric of
the luggage developing a tear.
However, our skilled technicians can repair your luggage and bring it to satisfactory working
condition at the company cost since it is within the warranty period. The repairs are guaranteed
within 30 days.
Please call our repair centre at 4255-6478 to tell us if you would like us to proceed with the repairs.
Sincerely,
Gaurav Mehta
Manager,
American Tourister Service Centre,

Exercise Good News

Mail
Write a good news email to a top performing
employee about his/her elevation as assistant
project manager heading a special project team.
Ideas:
project purpose, timeline, staffing, expected
outcome.

Exercise
You are the Convener of the cricket tournament in your
organization and wish to hold a meeting to plan for this annual
event held each year.
You will have to send some information to those whom you want
to involve in organizing the Tournament. You may choose to
invite only the committee members to discuss details such as
the date, venue, duration of event, how to raise funds and so on.
For this purpose, you are sending an e-mail to the committee
members, requesting them to attend the meeting.
Youd also like to inform that during the meeting, various smaller
committees need to formed, such as coordination committee,
ground management committee and so on.