Chapter 2 Academic Writing.

Planning discovering and compiling ideas

Shaping organize your material
Drafting - writing your material into sentences and
paragraphs
Revising evaluate and rewrite by adding ,deleting,
rewording, and rewording
Editing check for grammar, spelling, punctuation
and mechanics
Proofread read to determine any errors
 Not all topics are suitable for ACADEMIC
WRITING.
Topic has to have enough ideas and issues
meaty enough to demonstrate your thinking
and writing ability
 WRITING AS PROCESS: AN OVERVIEW

Think of writing as a process: a set of activities you

go through to produce a finished product.

This process has three distinct stages: Planning and

Shaping, Drafting, and Revising/ Editing.
 Chapter 2 How to come up with ideas

Freewrite write nonstop

Brainstorm list everything you can about a
topic. Words, phrases, whatever comes top mind
Journalists questions who, what, when, where,
why, how
Mapping - visual brainstorming
Talk it over
Read and Browse
 CLARIFYING GOALS

PURPOSE: What do you AUDIENCE: Who are

want the reader to your readers? What is
know, do, or feel as a their approximate age/
result of reading your interest and knowledge
text? level/ educational level
in your subject? Are
Are you informing,
they experts, general
evaluating, persuading,
public, your peers or
or entertaining?
fellow students?
 PLANNING AND SHAPING

Find a focus that fits your purpose and audience

before you start.
Gather ideas:
Keep a journal.
Brainstorm or jot down lists of ideas.
Free writing - let your mind go.
Mind mapping / idea trees.
5 Ws - (Who, What, When, Where, and Why)
Outlining
 WRITING OR DRAFTING

Getting your ideas into visible form:

Prioritize your ideas.
Write complete sentences.
Divide text into paragraphs.
Organize paragraphs into Introduction, Body and
Close.
 EDITING: EVALUATING YOUR DRAFT CRITICALLY AND
MAKING CHANGES

Large-scale changes: adding text, cutting, replacing

words/phrases, rearranging parts.

Editing: checking the correctness of grammar,

spelling, punctuation and mechanics.

Proofreading: are there any typos?

 WRITING AS PROCESS: LETS COMPARE METHODS

Think of the most unusual or eccentric person you have ever

met.

In 20 minutes, write a paragraph describing this person to

your classmates. Concentrate on getting each sentence right
as you go.

Do not rewrite your paragraph.

 PLANNING AND SHAPING: PART I

About your person, answer these questions:

When/where did you meet?
What does he or she look/sound like? Face/
clothing/ hair/ body/ language/ accent?
What are his or her tastes in movies/ books/
music/ food/ cars?
How did he or she surprise/ teach/ inspire you?
Why should your classmates be interested in him
or her?
 PLANNING AND SHAPING: PART II

Close your eyes and imagine X doing something he

or she typically does. Imagine every detail.
Freewrite for 5 minutes about your image.
Write quickly.
Dont edit as you go - just put down the words as
fast as you can.
If you get stuck, just write Im stuck, Im stuck
until you think of something.
 DRAFTING

FOCUSING: DRAFTING:
Look at your free Write a paragraph
writing paragraph. developing the idea
Take a new page and you just wrote down.
write down in one Use any relevant
sentence Xs single details from your list
most striking/ or free writing.
unusual feature.
 REVISING & EDITING

REVISING: Your classmates are the audience. Will you

need additional detail for them to visualize what you
mean? Make those additions now.
EDITING: Check your paragraph for correctness of
sentence structure, grammar, spelling and
punctuation and correct errors now.
 REVISING

DETAIL: How have the details you mentioned helped

create the central impression of the painting?
ORGANIZATION: Is your paragraph organized? Is it
coherent? Does it support your core sentence?
WORD CHOICE: Are your words precise? Replace any
vague words with more precise ones.
 Chapter 2 Thesis Statement

Thesis statement is the central idea of your essay.

It states the essays subject
It conveys the essays purpose, informative or
persuasive
It indicates your focus the assertion that
presents your point of view
It uses specific language
It may be briefly state the major subdivisions of
essays topic.
 THESIS SENTENCES FOR REVISION

Which of the following thesis sentences are

effective? Ineffective?
Explain what is wrong with each of the ineffective
theses and revise them.
Assume an essay of 500 words and an audience of
generally educated adults whom you do not know
personally.
 SAMPLE THESIS #1

ORIGINAL: George Washington was the first president

of the United States.
REVISED: As the first president of the United States,
George Washington had to resist those who wanted
to turn him into a king.
The original sentence is a statement of fact,
something accepted as true rather than a worthwhile
assertion.
 SAMPLE THESIS #2

ORIGINAL: Student government at my university is

worthless.
REVISED: Student government at my university has no
money, no power, and no mandate.
The original sentence is unrestricted, with a vague
predicate. It sounds like what will follow will be an
emotional tirade rather than sound reason.
 Chapter 2 Elements in an informative essay

Introductory paragraph
Thesis statement central message and
appears in the introductory paragraph
Background information provides a context
for understanding the points
Points of discussion supports the thesis
statement
Concluding paragraph
 Chapter 2 Outline

Outline shows the relationship among ideas in

a piece of writing.
Use complete sentences
Start with Roman numerals Big ideas
Indent and go to Capital letters subjects
under the big ideas
 THE INFORMAL OUTLINE

May be all that is needed to get started.

Valuable tool for timed writing, such as exams, as
well as for writing with a deadline.
Can take any shape the writer finds useful.
Useful in revision.
Checks organization of what has been written.
May reveal flaws and show what needs to be
revised, such as repetition, gaps, digressions, and
problems of sequence or coherence.
 THE FORMAL OUTLINE

Often produced for others.

Rules for the formal outline:
Use consistent numbers for headings and
subheadings.
Follow either topic, sentence, or paragraph style
throughout the outline.
Use parallel structure.
Avoid vague headings such as Introduction,
Body, and Conclusion.
Make sure to state your thesis at the top of the
outline.
 OUTLINE FORMAT

THESIS STATEMENT
I. First main idea
A. First subordinate idea
1. First reason or example
2. Second reason or example
B. Second subordinate idea
II. Second main idea
 Chapter 3 Writing Paragraphs, Shaping essays

Paragraph is a logical unit that develops a single idea, often

expressed as a topic sentence. Each sentence contributes to
the papers thesis.
 REVISING FOR PARAGRAPH UNITY

Read the following paragraph carefully.

Find the main idea, state it in a single sentence
(topic sentence).
Revise the paragraph to support that idea.
Omit irrelevant details.
Rearrange and condense material as necessary.
 SAMPLE PARAGRAPH #1

Now 97, Margaret Prescott remembers that the friends she made in her
childhood were people who lived within two or three blocks of her house,
and that was it. Today, we visit people who live 10-100 miles from where we
are located on a daily basis with no problem. She remembers when McKinley
was shot in the third grade; the newsboys who ran through the streets
shouting Extra! Extra! Extra! she went to Mt Holyoke College in south
Hadley, Massachusetts. Getting to the college was a chore: To get to South
Hadley you had to get yourself to Boston by train, transfer stations, catch the
train for Springfield, take a trolley car to the nearest town, which was
Holyoke, and then get from there to South Hadley by horse and wagon and
unload your bags. Once you were there you were lucky if you got to go home
for Thanksgiving. Her husband worked for a family-owned firm which was a
blacksmith shop. They made steel rims which would go around wooden
spoked wheels on horse-drawn carriages and some other various parts. Then,
as cars came with time, they made custom parts and did interior work. The
first car they ever had was made by Ford and was called a Falcon Night; it
was made in 1919 and had fold-out rumble seats in the back.
 REVISED FOR UNITY

Listening to Margaret Prescott, 97, it becomes apparent that she lived

through the evolution of transportation in America. Although we think
nothing of visiting people who live 100 miles away, she remembers that in her
childhood, the only friends her family made lived within two or three blocks
of her house, and that was it. Later, when she went to college (Mt. Holyoke,
South Hadley, Massachusetts) she found getting there a chore: To get to
South Hadley you had to get yourself to Boston by train, transfer stations,
catch the train for Springfield, take a trolley car to the nearest town, which
was Holyoke, and then get from there to South Hadley by horse and wagon
and unload your bags. Once you were there you were lucky if you got to go
home for Thanksgiving. When she married, her husband worked for a
family-owned blacksmith shop which made steel rims for the wooden-spoked
wheels on horse-drawn carriages. When cars came, the shop switched to
custom parts and interior work. The first car she and her husband ever had
was a Falcon Night, made by Ford in 1919; it came complete with fold-out
rumble seats in back.
 REVISING FOR COHERENT SPATIAL ARRANGEMENT

Descriptions are easier to follow when organized

according to a coherent spatial order: top to bottom,
left to right, inside to outside, and so on.
Revise the following paragraph.
Place sentences in a coherent spatial arrangement
so your reader can stay located.
 REVISED FOR SPATIAL ARRANGEMENT

Everything about the family home in Fairfield, Connecticut, reminds me of my

heritage. The great stone wall surrounding the house, with no mortar to hold
the stones together, was placed there by my ancestors. The wall, however
picturesque, also served a practical purpose: it made a convenient way to get
rid of the rocks left behind by glaciers. Looking beyond the wall to the house
itself, one sees the monotony of the thick windows broken up by an immense
door with a character of its own. Its two sections open separately; the upper
section sports an antique brass eagle knocker. Above the door is an elaborate
stained-glass window shaped in a half-circle. Stepping inside the house one
immediately notices the floor of long, wooden planks whose unevenness
makes the house seem unbalanced. The foundation - the original foundation -
has settled unevenly. The cast-iron fireplaces have special areas for baking
bread. The high, decorative ceiling creates a feeling of airiness. Other
attributes include various steep swirling staircases, a trap door, and several
small compartments. As a child I found these compartments a place of refuge
- just as my grandmother probably had.
REVISING FOR COHERENCE: CLIMACTIC ARRANGEMENT

Paragraphs can often be made more coherent and

more emphatic by arranging details or examples in
order of increasing importance - saving the best for
last.
Revise the following paragraph.
Position the sentences and parts of sentences in
climactic order.
 SAMPLE PARAGRAPH #3

Parents should spend more time providing their children with

guidance and assistance, as opposed to punishment and
criticism. Part of ensuring a childs mental and physical well-
being is letting her know she is loved for what she is. But parents
all too often place conditions on their love. Children learn to
understand that they will be loved only if they get good grades. A
B grade may be all right, but well love you more if you get an
A. As Kathie Durbin points out in her article Grappling with
Grades, children are an investment in time. Knowing the child
and her abilities and limitations takes time and care. That means
time spent just talking about anything thats important in the
childs eyes. It means time spent together learning for fun. And
it means time at the library and at home reading together. These
are the things that can motivate a child, i.e., mold a childs
positive attitude toward learning at an early age.
 REVISED FOR CLIMACTIC ARRANGEMENT

Part of motivating a child is letting her know she is loved for who
she is. All too often parents place conditions on their love: a B
grade may be all right, but well love you more if you get an A.
Children learn that they will be loved only if they get good
grades. As Kathie Durbin points out in her article Grappling with
Grades, children are an investment in time. Knowing the child -
abilities, limitations and all - takes time and care: time at the
library and at home reading together, time spent together
learning for fun, time spent just talking about anything thats
important to the child, time providing guidance and assistance as
opposed to punishment and criticism. These are the things that
can motivate a child to learn.
 REVISING PATTERNS OF DEVELOPMENT:
COMPARISON AND CONTRAST

Comparison (which usually implies contrast) is a

strategy of development that allows you to
emphasize your point by inviting the reader to see
how it is like (or unlike) something he or she is
familiar with.
Revise the following paragraph, strengthening the
point by introducing comparison to the roles
expected of boys.
 SAMPLE PARAGRAPH #4

Sex role stereotyping begins in early infancy and

develops into outright discrimination by the age of
puberty. Right from birth, certain prejudices and
preconceptions are telegraphed to girls. Girl babies are
coddled and cooed over. Toys are also chosen with
specific connotations in mind. Girls get Barbie dolls, tea
sets, nurses kits, mini-stoves. Later they go to ballet
classes, piano lessons, and bake brownies with mom.
Girls are isolated at home and learn to fear the world at
large.
 REVISED TO INTRODUCE COMPARISON

Sex role stereotyping begins in infancy and develops into

outright discrimination by the age of puberty. Right from birth,
boys and girls are treated differently; different prejudices and
preconceptions are telegraphed to them. Boy babies are hoisted
and roughhoused, girls are coddled and cooed over. Toys are also
chosen with specific connotations in mind. Boys receive do-it-
yourself kits, chemistry labs, baseballs, model ships. Girls get
Barbie dolls, tea sets, nurses kits, mini-stoves. Later, boys ski,
camp and play football with dad. Girls go to ballet classes, take
piano lessons, and bake brownies with mom. Whereas boys are
taught about organization and are exposed to social contacts,
girls are isolated at home and learn to fear the world at large.
 REVISING FOR DEVELOPMENT: CAUSE AND EFFECT

When you find yourself trying to explain why

something happened, or happens, you are probably
thinking about cause and effect relationships.
Recognizing that you are doing so may help you to
sharpen the focus of an otherwise sprawling
paragraph.
Revise the following paragraph, emphasizing the
various causes of the American tendency to take
sports seriously.
 SAMPLE PARAGRAPH #5

One might ask: why are people so serious about sports? The answers to this
question could be many. For one, people can release their aggressions
through sports. Kicking a ball, hitting it with a bat, punching another man in
the face can feel good for both participants and spectators. Just think, one
man can get in a boxing ring with another and beat him up and its perfectly
all right. All right, people love to see it. They cheer them on, Yeah, Ali, get
him on the left, the left. Ah, hes down, hes down! Some people make bets
on the game. If they win, great, but think of the risk people are willing to take
on a boxing match or a horse race. Sports can be healthy. Its good exercise,
and again a good way to get out some aggressions, its legal, you can almost
always find someone else who wants to play. Sometimes I think sports can be
political. When judges announce the score in Olympic games, why is it certain
countries that are allies will give the same scores to a country they are not
friendly with? Americans are always more aware of U.S. against U.S.S.R. than
U.S. against Canada.
 REVISED TO EMPHASIZE CAUSE AND EFFECT

Why do Americans take sports so seriously? No doubt, there are

many reasons. Sports are legal, for one, and they provide good
exercise. People can release their aggressions through sports:
kicking a ball, hitting it with a bat, punching an opponent in the
face. Those who do not participate in sports themselves can
indulge their aggressive appetites vicariously. They cheer as one
man beats up another in the ring; they may become even more
involved by placing bets. When the Olympics roll around, rooting
for the home team may even take on political overtones. Few get
as excited watching the American team play against Canada as
they do when Russia is the opponent. Even the judges reflect this
partisanship, giving higher scores to athletes from their allies
countries. Why take sports seriously? Because the nations pride
is at stake.
 INTRODUCTORY STRATEGIES: SOME GUIDELINES FOR
INTRODUCTORY PARAGRAPHS

Provide relevant background information.

Tell a brief interesting story or anecdote.
Give a pertinent statistic or statistics.
Ask one or more provocative questions.
Use an appropriate quotation.
Make a useful analogy.
Define a term used throughout the essay.
CAUTION: Dont open with a dictionary definition
of a term your audience already knows the
meaning of - unless you intend to disagree with the
dictionary.
 AVOID THESE IN INTRODUCTORY PARAGRAPHS

Stating the obvious:

In this paper I will discuss the causes of falling oil
prices.
My assignment is to discuss Hamlets
indecision.
Apologizing: Im not sure Im right, but here is my
opinion.
Clichs: Haste makes waste, War is hell, etc.
 CONCLUDING STRATEGIES: SOME GUIDELINES

Use the devices suggested for introductory

paragraphs; avoid using the same device in the
introduction and the conclusion.
Summarize the main points of the essay.
Call for awareness and/or action.
Point to the future.
 WHAT TO AVOID IN CONCLUDING PARAGRAPHS

Avoid going off track: Dont introduce a new idea or fact

that belongs in the body of the essay.
Avoid rewording the introduction: If the two parts of your
essay are interchangeable, you need to revise.
Avoid announcing what you have done: e.g., In this paper I
have tried to show the main causes for
Avoid making absolute claims: This proves that Use
This seems to prove that
Avoid logical fallacies: Conclusions are vulnerable to errors
in reasoning.
Avoid apologizing: This casts doubt on your material. e.g.
Even though I am not an expert Be positive.
Drafting and Revising
 THREE WAYS TO DRAFT

After planning, you are ready to write.

Get started. Dont wait There will be a second

until you have every draft, and perhaps a
detail. third or fourth.
Your plan is likely to Press on. Dont try to
change as you write. solve every problem as
Remember that this is a you go.
first draft.
 WRITE A DISCOVERY DRAFT

Put aside all your notes from planning and shaping.

As you write, be open to discovering ideas and
making connections.
When you finish a Discovery Draft, you can use it as
your first draft or as part of your notes.
 WRITE A STRUCTURED FIRST DRAFT

Use your notes from planning and shaping as you

write.
Work through all of your material.
Draft either the entire essay or one or two
paragraphs at a time, depending on the length of
your essay.
 COMBINE APPROACHES

When you know the shape of the material, write

according to that structure.
When you feel stuck about what to say next, switch
to writing as you would for a Discovery Draft.
HOW CAN YOU GET THE PERSPECTIVE TO REVISE YOUR ESSAY
WELL?

Use an outline to revise: number each paragraph,

then write a word/phrase that summarizes the
paragraph.
If you cannot summarize it, you probably have too
many ideas in one paragraph.
Ask yourself:
What central idea (thesis) do your phrases add up to?
Are there repetitions of ideas?
 REVISING FOR EVIDENCE AND DETAIL

While one early draft may be a profusion of detail without

order, another may be fairly well organized, but empty, lacking
concrete detail or evidence.
Remember that your reader cant follow you to your
conclusion if you havent given them enough of the evidence
that got you there.
Read your copy of the first draft of Role Your Own and ask
yourself:
What points need to be expanded?
What key assertions go unsupported?
 ROLE YOUR OWN

Anne was a young girl with two children. Pregnant with her
first at sixteen, she dropped out of school. At this point it was
obvious her life was going to have some drastic change. She
would not graduate from high school as her friends would. With
no job, she lived off welfare in a tenement. After two years, she
had a second child. This one she sold on the black market. Anne
had lost all sense of direction in her life. What she was living
with was a role she hated. She wanted to make a change in her
life, but couldnt.
 ROLE YOUR OWN (cont)

Though society may dictate roles to those who have no identity

of their own, with time and thought, one can choose his (or
her) own role. Some people may show this in a large and
obvious way. Others do it a little at a time.
My first two years in high school were a complete disaster. I was
not happy in the schools I was placed in. I skipped a lot of
classes and was labeled a delinquent. Then I went through a
metamorphosis. I went to a new school where I proved that
an individual, along with a little help from friends, can pull
him/herself together and take on a new and better role.
 ROLE YOUR OWN (cont)

In the film, Diner, Beth is what the society of her

time (the fifties) considered a fulfilled woman
because she was married. At that time the role of
women was on the verge of change with still a long way
to go. Women were not nearly as career-minded and
rights-oriented as their sixties counterparts were to
become. Instead, a womans aspiration was to be
married. But Beth is not so sure this is her aspiration.
She questions her status.
 ROLE YOUR OWN (cont)

Women are a prime example of how a group of peoples

roles can change with time and thought. Up until recently,
women had limited rights and specific duties. Then, there
seemed to be an awakening consciousness to the opportunities
that could exist for women. Maybe Beth couldnt change;
perhaps she lived too early. But I changed and so did Anne, who
went on to become an investment broker. Once a person can
realize what is most important to them in life, they can begin to
mold their own role outside of what society may expect of them.
 REVISING ROLE YOUR OWN

1. Anne was a young girl with two children. Pregnant

with her first at sixteen, she dropped out of school.
At this point it was obvious her life was going to
have some drastic change. She would not graduate
from high school as her friends would. With no job,
she lived off welfare in a tenement. After two
years, she had a second child. This one she sold on
the black market. Anne had [lost all sense of
direction] in her life. What she was living with was
a role she hated. She wanted to make a change in
her life, but couldnt.
 REVISING ROLE YOUR OWN (cont)

2. Though society may dictate roles to those who have no

identity of their own, with time and thought, one can
choose his (or her) own role. Some people may show this in
a large and obvious way. Others do it a little at a time.
3. My first two years in high school were [a complete disaster].
I was not happy in the schools I was placed in. I skipped a
lot of classes and was labeled a delinquent. Then I went
through a metamorphosis. I went to a new school where I
proved that an individual, along [with a little help from
friends], can [pull him/herself together] and take on a new
and better role.
 REVISING ROLE YOUR OWN (cont)

4. In the film, Diner, Beth is what the society of her

time (the fifties) considered a fulfilled woman
because she was married. At that time the role of
women was on the verge of change with still a long
way to go. Women were not nearly as career-
minded and rights-oriented as their sixties
counterparts were to become. Instead, a womans
aspiration was to be married. But Beth is not so
sure this is her aspiration. She questions her status.
 REVISING ROLE YOUR OWN (cont)

5. Women are a prime example of how a group of peoples

roles can change with time and thought. Up until recently,
women had limited rights and specific duties. Then, there
seemed to be an awakening consciousness to the
opportunities that could exist for women. Maybe Beth
couldnt change; perhaps she lived too early. But I changed
and so did Anne, who went on to become an investment
broker. Once a person can [realize what is most important
to them in life], they can begin to mold their own role
outside of what society may expect of them.