• EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

• COGNITIVE BEHAVIOURAL THERAPY

• HOW TO SELL YOURSELF

 Emotional Intelligence

1. Self-awareness :
• knowledge of one’s self and one’s emotions.
• understanding and predicting one’s emotional reactions to situations.
2. Self-control
• Channelling both positive and negative emotions in the most productive manner.
3. Empathy
• Ability to understand how others perceive the situation.
• Knowing how others feel about a particular situation.
4. Social expertness
• Ability to build genuine relationships.
• Ability to genuinely express feelings.
• Ability to choose appropriate actions based on feelings of empathy.
• Ability to resolve conflicts without compromising on core beliefs.
5. Personal influence
• Ability to read situations and lead and inspire others in desired directions.
6. Mastery of vision
• Ability to set direction and vision guided by a strong personal philosophy.
• Our internal compass.
• What situations generally create pressure and stress for you?
• How are you handling these situations?
• What negative thoughts play over and over in your mind on a regular basis?
• Are these a true picture of reality?
• When you are triggered emotionally, what are some of your less effective default
behaviours?

• Emotional Intelligence can be defined as the ability to identify, consider and control
emotions in oneself and to recognize them in others, brought on by a combination of
self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management.

• The ability to tune in to the world, to read situations, and to connect with others while
taking charge of your own life.

• In social situations, an emotionally intelligent person’s thoughts are centred and

focussed on the other person.
 Areas coming under emotional and social intelligence
1. Intra-personal

• Self-Awareness
• The ability to recognize how you’re feeling and why you’re feeling that way,
as well as the impact your behaviour has on others.
• Assertiveness
• The ability to clearly express your thoughts and feelings, stand your ground,
and defend a position.
• Independence
• The ability to be self-directed and self-controlled, to stand on your own two
feet.
• Self-Regard
• The ability to recognize your strengths and weaknesses, and feel good
about yourself despite your weaknesses.
• Self-Actualization
• The ability to realize your potential and feel comfortable with what you
achieve at work and in your personal life.
 Areas coming under emotional and social intelligence
2. Inter-personal
• Empathy
• The ability to understand what others might be feeling and thinking. It is the
ability to view the world through another person’s eyes.
• Social Responsibility
• The ability to be a cooperative and contributing member of your social
group.
• Interpersonal Relationships
• The ability to forge and maintain relationships that are mutually beneficial
and marked by give-and-take and a sense of emotional closeness.

3. Adaptability
This area involves your ability to be flexible and realistic, and to solve a range of
problems as they arise. Its three scales are as follows:
• Reality Testing
• The ability to see things as they actually are, rather than the way you wish
or fear they might be.
• Flexibility
• The ability to adjust your feelings, thoughts, and actions to changing
conditions.
• Problem-Solving
• The ability to define problems and then move to generate and implement
effective, appropriate solutions.
 Areas coming under emotional and social intelligence
4. Stress Management
This area concerns your ability to tolerate stress and control impulses. It has two
scales:
• Stress Tolerance
• The ability to remain calm and focused, to constructively withstand adverse
events and conflicting emotions without caving in.
• Impulse Control
• The ability to resist or delay a temptation to act.

5. General Mood
This area also concerns your ability to be positive and in a good mood. It has two
scales:
• Optimism
• The ability to maintain a realistically positive attitude, particularly in the face
of adversity.
• Happiness
• The ability to feel satisfied with life, to enjoy yourself and others, and to
experience zest and enthusiasm in a range of activities.
• Perceiving emotions
• Ability to successfully read other people’s emotions.
• Ability to express emotions accurately to others in order to be an effective
communicator.

• Facilitating thoughts
• Using your emotions to get you in the mood.
• The way we feel has a big influence on how we think.

• Understanding emotions
• It helps to understand why we feel sad, angry, or giddy.
• By understanding our emotions, we’re in a better position to manage our
emotions.

• Managing emotions
• By managing the way you feel, you can get along better with others, solve
problems better, make better judgments, and manage your behaviour better.
 • ABCDE theory of emotions

• Activating event :
• the outside event which caused the problem
• Beliefs :
• things one tells oneself about the activating events that leads them to negative
emotions.
• Consequence
• Self-defeating emotions like anger / depression / anxiety.
• Dispute
• Questioning the beliefs about the activating event.
• Effect
• After understanding the real reason for the emotions, we come down to a relaxed
state to think about to how to rationally approach a situation.
 Helpful methods to deal with negative emotions

• Take a deep breath

• Go for a walk
• Count to ten slowly
• Talk to someone close to you
• Exercise
• Clench fists tightly for 10 seconds and focus on the tension in the hand.
• Wrinkle your facial muscles and then relax.
• Breath using the belly holding rib cage steady.
• Squeeze the fleshy area between thumb and forefinger for few seconds.
• Mindfulness : pay attention to your breath, smell, touch, hear and taste.
• Relaxation techniques.
• Distraction techniques.
 Empathy
• Sympathy shows that you care about someone else’s situation.
• Empathy expresses the notion that I understand how you feel right now. It enables
you to get closer to the other person and helps you gain his trust. It shows not only
that you care about his troubles, but that you really know what he is going through.

• Reading other people’s emotions through body language.

• Showing people you understand their feelings.
• Check your understanding with the other person by asking a question or by a
statement.
• Get the understanding confirmed.

• Managing other people’s emotions

• Understand your own emotions : your needs, wants and desires.
• Change how you react to others.
• Note down the things you want to change in others.
• Analyse why they have to make that change : benefits for them and you.
• Understand what is preventing them from making that change.
• Figure out the benefits they will get if they make the change.
• Select a quiet, neutral place / at proper time and mood to discuss the topic.
• Start with small changes.
• When discussing,
• Let her know how the behaviour bothers you.
• Acknowledge you understand that your feelings are your problem, but you
really want to talk about what’s bothering you.
• If the person cares about you, she should be willing to at least discuss your
concern.
• Let the other person know that you’ve been thinking of some ways in which you
might both be able to change.
• Suggest that if you feel better about the situation, you’ll do less some negative
or annoying behaviour, such as nagging.
• Suggest a possible motivator for behaviour change (based on what you
discover in the preceding section).
• See whether you two can come to some compromise or agree to work towards
a compromise.

• While discussing, remember to

• Not appear defensive.
• Show no blame.
• Take ownership of your part of the problem.
• Appear willing to compromise
 Dealing with Difficult people

• Set a realistic goal for your interaction with the person. You may want to
• Change the undesirable behaviour and maintain a relationship.
• Let the person know how you feel about her behaviour and maintain the
• relationship.
• Let the person know how you feel about her behaviour and expect only
• minimal or no further relationship.
• Ignore the person and leave the situation so that it doesn’t escalate.
• For people you encounter often, you may want to maintain a cordial
relationship.
• When dealing with a stranger, you may want to keep your dignity and walk
away.

• Mentally visualize a difficult situation and how you deal with it so that you handle the
situation when it originally happens.

• Develop ability to manage your emotions when difficult people press your hot
button.

• Think about ways to manage the other person’s emotions.

 Emotional intelligence in work place

• Think about the incident making you upset.

• Think about how this incident will affect you in the long term.
 Domains of Emotional Intelligence

1. Self – Awareness
• Know your emotions.
• Understand your own strengths and weaknesses.
• Self – confidence : self – assured in whatever situation you find yourself.

2. Self – Management
• Manage your emotions : controlling your emotions so that those won’t
control you.
• Trustworthy and conscientious.
• Motivate yourself

3. Social – Awareness
• Recognize and understand other people’s emotions.
• Ability to read the emotional environment and power relationships you
encounter.

4. Relationship Management
• Manage other’s emotions, thereby relationships.
• Communication skills; Ability to persuade and lead; while being honest and
direct without alienating people.
 Emotional Intelligence Competencies

1. Self – Awareness
• Emotional self-awareness : Reading one’s own emotions and recognizing their
impact.
• Accurate self-assessment : knowing one’s strength and limits.
• Self-confidence : self-worth and self-love.

2. Self – Management
• Emotional self-control : keeping disruptive emotions and impulses under control.
• Transparency : Displaying honesty, integrity and trustworthiness.
• Adaptability : Flexibility in adapting to changing situations or overcome
obstacles.
• Achievement : the drive to improve performance.
• Initiative : Readiness to act and seize opportunity.
• Optimism : Seeing the upside in events.

3. Social Awareness
• Empathy : sensing other’s emotions, understanding their perspective, and taking
active interest in their concerns.
• Organizational awareness : Reading the currents, decision networks and politics
at the organizational level.
 • Service : recognizing and meeting client or customer needs.

4. Relationship Management
• Inspirational leadership : guiding and motivating with a compelling vision.
• Influence : Wielding a range of tactics for persuasion.
• Developing others : Bolstering other’s abilities through feedback and guidance.
• Change catalyst : Initiating, managing and leading in a new direction.
• Conflict management : resolving disagreements.
• Building bonds : cultivating and maintaining a web of relationships.
• Teamwork and collaboration : cooperation and team building.
 Self-Awareness Strategies
1. Quit treating your feelings as good or bad
• Instead, understand what is causing the emotions and take necessary
action as required.

2. Observe the ripple effect from your emotions

• Choose the type of ripples your emotions are creating.

3. Lean into your discomfort

• Rather than avoiding a feeling, your goal should be to move toward the
emotion, into it and eventually, through it.
• To be effective in life, we all need to discover our own arrogance – those
things we don’t bother to learn about and dismiss as unimportant.

4. Feel your emotions physically

• Spot physical changes accompanying your emotions.

5. Know who and what pushes your buttons

• Pinpoint specific people and situations that trigger your emotion so that
they don’t come as a surprise and you can maintain your poise.
• Think why specific people and situations are triggering your emotions.
 Self-Awareness Strategies
6. Watch yourself like a hawk
• Look at the big picture.
• Get an objective view from the top for the situations which triggers your
emotions.
• Think about the real reason underneath causing the emotion.

7. Keep a journal about your emotions

• Record what events triggered strong emotions and how you responded to
them.
• Understand the patterns in emotions and develop a better understanding
of your tendencies.

8. Don’t be fooled by a bad mood

• Your low mood puts a dark cloud on every thoughts, feelings and
experience you have.
• When a negative mood takes over, you suddenly lose sight of what is
good in your life.
• Remind yourself that your moods are not permanent and will change.
• Don’t make any important decisions when you are having low moods.
 Self-Awareness Strategies
9. Don’t be fooled by good mood either
• Stay aware of good moods and the foolish decisions these moods can
lead to.
• Don’t take any impulsive decisions while feeling excited.

10. Stop and ask yourself why you do the things you do
• Seek out the source of your feelings.
• Understand what is triggering the particular reaction at particular time.

11. Visit your values

• Your core values and beliefs.
• Ask yourself : what are the values that I wish to live my life by ?
• Think about situations where you didn’t act according to your core values.
Now think, what you can do next time when faced with same situation.

12. Check yourself

• How you feel is reflected in how you look.
• Check whether the look you are projecting is the one you have chosen /
one chosen by your mood / your default style.
 Self-Awareness Strategies
13. Spot your emotions in books, movies and music
• When a character from a movie or book sticks in your head, it is because
important aspects of his or her thoughts and feelings parallel your own.

14. Seek feedback

• There is a big difference between how you see yourself and how others
see you.
• Open up yourself for feedback from friends, co-workers, mentors,
supervisors and family.
• Look for similarities in the information.

15. Get to know yourself under stress

• Human body and mind – through emotional and psychological signs –
indicate when you are stressed out and need some rest.
• Recharge your emotional battery whenever required.
 Self-Management Strategies
1. Breath right
• In a stressful or emotional situation, breath full till your stomach swell
outwards.
• Breathing right calms you down and give good supply of oxygen to your
brain.

2. Create an emotion v/s reason list

• Make a list to distinguish the emotional side of the argument from the
rational one.
• Now, think which side of argument must have more say in your decisions.

3. Make your goals public

• Use expectations of other people to motivate you.
• Select those people who will actually pay attention to your progress.
• Ask the other person to monitor your progress and hold you accountable.

4. Count to ten
• When feeling frustrated, take a deep breath and count one. Keep
breathing and counting till you reach ten.
• Reacting quickly and without much thought will proceed to bad decisions.
 Self-Management Strategies
5. Sleep on it
• Time and patience can transform situations, ease pain and provide clarity.
• Wait for some more time till you have clarity of thoughts.

6. Talk to a skilled self-Manager

• Find role models.
• Ask them how they handle situations.

7. Smile and laugh more

• Smiling intentionally will trick your mind to feel happy.
• Use smiling and laughter to lift your mood.

8. Set aside some time in your day for problem solving

• Find some time every day to review your thoughts and decisions.
• Applause good decisions and find a better way for bad ones.

9. Take control of your self-talk

• Turn I always or I never into just this time or sometimes.
• Replace judgmental statements like I am an idiot with factual ones like I
made a mistake.
• Accept responsibilities for only your action and not for anyone else.
 Self-Management Strategies
10. Visualize yourself succeeding
• Visualize yourself in situations where you have the most difficulty
managing yourself.
• A great time to visualize is before you go to bed at night.

11. Clean up your sleep hygiene

• Improve the quality of your sleep.
• Good sleep will give you an alert, focussed and balanced mind.

12. Focus your attention on your freedoms, rather than limitations

• You always have a choice to how you respond to what is in front of you.
• Your feelings depend on your perspective.
• Take accountability for what you have control over and focus your energy
towards it.

13. Stay synchronized

• Direct your attention away from your emotions and on to the task at hand.

14. Speak to someone who is not emotionally invested in your problem

• Talk to someone when you feel emotional or confused about a situation.
• Ensure the people you invite shouldn’t have a vested interest in your
situation.
• Avoid someone who will simply agree with you.
 Self-Management Strategies
15. Learn a valuable lesson from everyone you encounter
• Learn from other person’s feedback.
• learn from how they are behaving.
• Always approach another person with the feeling that you have
something to learn from him.

16. Put a mental recharge into your schedule

• Exercise
• Healthy body will have a healthy mind.
• Yoga
• Walk through park

17. Acceptthat change is just around the corner

• Anticipate change – understand your options if change occurs .
• Accept that change is inevitable part of life.
• Set aside some time every week to prepare for the changes that could
possibly happen.
• Anticipating change and knowing your response will make you an
adaptive and flexible person.
 Social-Awareness Strategies
• Ability to recognize and understand emotions of others.
• Making sure you are present and able to give others your full attention is the first
step to becoming more socially aware.

1. Greet people by name

• It feels so good when people use your name and remember it.
• Use person’s name at least twice in your conversation.

2. Watch body language

• By reading body language, we will know how people are really feeling
and can plan an appropriate response.

3. Make timing everything

• Ask the right questions at the right time with the right frame of mind, all
with your audience in mind.
• Key to social-awareness is focussing on others.

4. Develop a back-pocket question

• Back-pocket question to bail you out of any awkward silence or
uncomfortable moment during conversation.
• Questions like ‘what do you think of ….’ work / current events.
 Social-Awareness Strategies
5. Don’t take notes at meetings
• Multi-tasking sacrifices quality of your work.
• Someone who wants the whole story and complete picture observes
others without distractions.

6. Plan ahead for social gatherings

• List who is going to be at the event and list any talking points or to-dos.
• Planning ahead will make you less stressed.

7. Clear away the clutter

• To be socially aware, you must be socially present – remove the internal
distractions in your head while conversing with others.
• Form our responses only after the other person has finished talking.
• Listen before talking.

8. Live in the moment

• Be socially present.
• Notice what is happening with others right now.

9. Go on a 15 minute tour twice per week

• Take some time to walk around your office space and notice your
surroundings.
• Observe others emotions, work place, etc.
 Social-Awareness Strategies
10. Watch EQ at the movies
• Observe character interactions, relationships and conflicts.
• Look for body language clues.

11. Practise the art of listening

• Listening is a strategy and skill.
• Listening isn’t just about hearing words, but also about listening to the
tone, speed and volume of the voice.

12. Go people watching

• Watch how people interact with one another.
• Observe interactions and figure out underlying motivations and emotions.
• Try to identify moods and emotions of others.

13. Understand the rules of the culture game

• Learn how other person’s cultural and family background influences their
expectations on you.
• Treat others how they would want to be treated, not how you would want
to be treated.
• Look for similarities and differences between how you would play the
game v/s how others are playing.
• Ask specific questions, outside the settings.
 Social-Awareness Strategies
14. Test for accuracy
• If in doubt, just ask if what you are observing in people or situation is
actually what is occurring.
• Ask directly the person : ‘you don’t look good, are you ok?’.
• Asking will ultimately help you in validating your skills.

15. Step into their shoes

• Experience the situation as another person.
• If I were him, how would have I responded ?
• Practising this will help you to understand other person’s mind.
• Ask the person at a later time , how he felt at that situation.

16. Seek the whole picture

• Try to see you through the eyes of people around you.
• Listen to what others say about you.

17. Catch the mood of the room

• When you enter a room, notice whether you see energy or quietness, are
people alone or in groups, are they talking and moving their hands ?
 Relationship Management Strategies
1. Be open and curious
• Being open means sharing information about yourself with others.
• Share information so that people won’t misinterpret you.
• Show interest in and learn about other person.

2. Enhance your natural communication style

• Think about upsides and downsides of your style.
• Think which areas can be improved.
• Think which downsides can be eliminated.

3. Avoid giving mixed signals

• People trust what they see over what they hear.
• Pay attention to match your tone and body language to what you are
really trying to say.

4. Remember the little things that pack a punch

• Tell ‘please’, ‘thank you’, ‘I am sorry’ when needed.

5. Take feedback well

• Consider the source of feedback, ask questions to clarify his perception,
thank him, think over the feedback.
 Relationship Management Strategies
6. Build trust
• Open communication, willingness to share, consistency in words, actions
and behaviour over time, reliability in following through on the
agreements.

7. Have an ‘open door’ policy

• Become more accessible to others.
• Create more informal conversation opportunities.

8. Only get mad on purpose

• Expressing anger in appropriate ways communicates your strong feelings
and reminds people of the gravity of the situation.
• Expressing anger too much or at the wrong times desensitizes people to
what you are feeling, making it hard for others to take you seriously.

9. Don’t avoid the inevitable

• When required to interact with people you don’t like, apply self-
management and social awareness skills.
• Try to find ways to minimize interactions but still yield results.
• At the end, find ways to acknowledge how you both finished togethor.
 Relationship Management Strategies
10. Acknowledge the other person’s feelings
• Everyone has a right to experience feelings, even if you might not feel the
same way.
• Recognise feelings of others as legitimate and respect them.

11. Compliment the person’s emotions and feelings

 Cognitive Behavioural Therapy – CBT
• You feel the way you think.
• Your thoughts, beliefs, and the meanings that you give to an event, produce your
emotional and behavioural responses.
• The meaning you attach to any sort of event influences the emotional responses you
have to that event.
• The ways you think and feel also largely determine the way you act.

• A : The activating event : The trigger.

• An activating event means a real external event that has occurred,
a future event that you anticipate occurring, or an internal event in
your mind, such as an image, memory, or dream.

• B : Your Beliefs
• Your beliefs include your thoughts, your personal rules, the
demands you make (on yourself, the world, and other people), and
the meanings that you attach to external and internal events.

• C : Consequences
• Consequences include your emotions, behaviours, and physical
sensations that accompany different emotions.
 SPOTTING ERRORS IN THE THINKING PATTERN

1. Catastrophising : Turn mountains back into mole hills

• taking a relatively minor negative event and imagining all sorts of disasters
resulting from that one small event.
1. Put your thoughts in perspective
2. Consider less terrifying explanations
3. Weigh up the evidence
4. Focus on what you can do to cope with the situation, and the people or
resources that can come to your aid.

2. All-or-Nothing Thinking : Find somewhere in between

• extreme thinking that can lead to extreme emotions and behaviours.
1. Be realistic : remind yourself of your goals and forgive minor mistakes.
2. Understand success and failure exist together. Nothing is perfect.

3. Fortune-telling: Stepping Away from the Crystal Ball

• Making negative predictions about future. fortune-telling stops you from taking
action. It can also become a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy.
• You’re better off letting the future unfold without trying to guess how it may turn
out.
1. Test out your predictions.
2. Be prepared to take risks
3. Understand that your past experiences don’t determine your future
experiences.
4. Mind-Reading
• the tendency to assume that others are thinking negative things about you or
have negative motives and intentions.
• What you project or imagine going on in other people’s minds is very much
based on what’s already in yours.
1. Generate some alternative reasons for what you see.
2. Consider that your guesses may be wrong.
3. Get more information

5. Emotional Reasoning : Reminding Yourself That Feelings Aren’t Facts

• Relying too heavily on your feelings as a guide leads you off the reality path.
1. Take notice of your thoughts.
2. Look for any concrete evidence to support your feelings.
3. Ask yourself how you’d view the situation if you were feeling calmer.
4. Give yourself time to allow your feelings to subside.

6. Overgeneralising: Avoiding the Part/Whole Error

• the error of drawing global conclusions from one or more events.
• Condemning yourself on the basis of making a mistake does nothing to solve
the problem, so be specific and steer clear of global conclusions
1. Get a little perspective
2. Suspend judgement
3. Be specific
7. Labelling: Giving Up the Rating Game
• the process of labelling people and events.
• When you label a person or aspect of the world in a global way, you exclude
potential for change and improvement.
• Strive to avoid labelling yourself, other people, and the world around you.
1. Allow for varying degrees
2. Celebrate complexities

8. Making Demands: Thinking Flexibly

• Thoughts and beliefs that contain words like ‘must’, ‘should’, ‘need’, ‘ought’, ‘got
to’, and ‘have to’ are often problematic because they’re extreme and rigid.
• Holding flexible preferences about yourself, other people, and the world in
general is the healthy alternative to inflexible rules and demands.
1. Pay attention to language.
2. Limit approval seeking.
3. Understand that the world doesn’t play to your rules.
4. Retain your standards, ideals, and preferences, and ditch your rigid
demands about how you, others, and the world ‘have to’ be.

9. Mental Filtering: Keeping an Open Mind

• A bias in the way you process information, in which you acknowledge only
information that fits with a belief you hold.
• You think you are a failure; so always look for things that matches your belief,
neglecting the events suggesting the other way.
 • Deliberately collecting evidence that contradicts your negative thoughts can help
you to correct your information-processing bias.
1. Examine your filters closely.
2. Gather evidence.
3. see the positive stuff about yourself, or your experiences.

10. Disqualifying the Positive: Keeping the Baby When Throwing Out the
Bathwater
• transforming a positive event into a neutral or negative event in your mind.
• Hone your skills for accepting compliments and acknowledging your good
points.
1. Become aware of your responses to positive ‘data’.
2. Practice accepting a compliment graciously with a simple thank you.

11. Low Frustration Tolerance: Realising You Can Bear the ‘Unbearable’
• the error of assuming that when something’s difficult to tolerate, it’s ‘intolerable’.
This thinking error means magnifying discomfort and not tolerating temporary
discomfort when it’s in your interest to do so for longer-term benefit. Telling
yourself you can’t stand something has two effects. First, it leads you
• to focus more on the discomfort you’re experiencing. Second, it leads you to
• underestimate your ability to cope with discomfort
1. Pushing yourself to do things that are uncomfortable or unpleasant.
2. Giving yourself messages that emphasise your ability to withstand pain.
12. Personalising: Removing Yourself from the Centre of the Universe
• Interpreting events as being related to you personally and overlooking other
factors.
1. Imagine what else may have contributed to the outcome you’re assuming
personal responsibility for.
2. Consider why people may be responding to you in a certain way.
Questions

• Am I jumping to the worst possible conclusion? (Catastrophising)

• Am I thinking in extreme – all-or-nothing – terms? (Black-and-white thinking)
• Am I using words like ‘always’ and ‘never’ to draw generalised conclusions from
a specific event? (Overgeneralising)
• Am I predicting the future instead of waiting to see what happens? (Fortune-
telling)
• Am I jumping to conclusions about what other people are thinking of me? (Mind-
reading)
• Am I focusing on the negative and overlooking the positive? (Mental filtering)
• Am I discounting positive information or twisting a positive into a negative?
(Disqualifying the positive)
• Am I globally putting myself down as a failure, worthless, or use-less? (Labelling)
• Am I listening too much to my negative gut feelings instead of looking at the
objective facts? (Emotional reasoning)
• Am I taking an event or someone’s behaviour too personally or blaming myself
and overlooking other factors? (Personalising)
 • Am I using words like ‘should’, ‘must’, ‘ought’, and ‘have to’ in order to make
rigid rules about myself, the world, or other people? (Demanding)
• Am I telling myself that something is too difficult or unbearable or that ‘I can’t
stand it’ when actually it’s hard to bear but it is bearable and worth tolerating?
(Low frustration tolerance)

Methods to test out the toxic thoughts

1. Test out the prediction or fear you are afraid of and see the result.
2. Look for an alternative way of thinking, observe for evidences for both the theories
and find the correct one.
3. Ask people whom you trust whether they also feel the negative thoughts you feel.
4. Make observations to gather evidence about your thoughts.
5. Keep records of the evidences .
 Re-focussing and retraining your Awareness

• Task concentration training

• Mindfulness

Task Concentration
• Rather than thinking about yourself, you focus your attention towards your
external environment and what you’re doing.
• Pay less attention to what is going on inside and more attention to what is going
on outside.
• Listen to outside environment.
• Speak to others.
• Walk taking attention to what you hear, smell, listen and see.

Mindfulness
• the art of being present in the moment, without passing judgement about
your thoughts as good or bad.
• Simply observe what’s going on around you, in your mind, and in your body
without doing anything. Just allow yourself to be aware of what’s happening.
• Just observe and be aware of the things happening to your mind, body and
outside environment.
• Selling yourself is the ability to let the other person view you as competent and
likeable.