ANGER MANAGEMENT

CONTROL IT BEFORE IT CONTROLS YOU!

- BY DR. ZEHRA AGHA
“Those who control their anger and are forgiving toward mankind. Verily,
Allah loves those who do good”
[Aal-i-Imran: 134]
 Anger Definition

• “a feeling of tension and hostility, usually caused by a

nxiety aroused by a perceived threat to one's self, pos
sessions, rights, or values.”
Miller-Keane Encyclopedia and Dictionary of Medicine,
Nursing, and Allied Health, Seventh Edition. © 2003 by
Saunders, an imprint of Elsevier, Inc. All rights reserved.

• “an emotional reaction characterized by extreme

displeasure, rage, indignation, or hostility. It is
considered to be of pathological origin when such a
response does not realistically reflect a person’s
actual circumstances. However, expressions of anger
vary widely in different individuals and cultures, and
may be considered functional under controlled
circumstances.”
Mosby's Medical Dictionary, 8th edition. © 2009, Elsevier.
 Anger as an Emotion

Anger, or “ghazab” in Arabic, is of two types:

• The negative anger - “nafsaani”

• The positive anger - “shar’ri”

 Anger as a Positive Emotion

• Not a negative emotion in and of itself

• Human Rights/Dignity: Normal and Healthy

Anger

• Courage: Positive and Controlled Anger

• Rage: Negative Anger

 Commendable Anger

• Hadith: “…to love for His sake and to dislike

for His sake…”
• Imam Ghazali (rah): Right anger
• Person
• Place
• Time
• Intention
• Intensity
 Qur’anic Verses on Anger

• “Those who control/ drink their anger

(ghayzh)”

[Aal-i-Imran: 134]

• Note: the key is to CONTROL the anger

 Knowing the Real Struggle

• Real struggle is to control anger in a

situation where you CAN let it out –
“hilm”

• Channel negative anger towards

positivity

• Constructive not destructive

 Do You have Negative Anger?

• Are you always scolding your

kids/servants/students/employees?

• Do people complain about your temper?

• Does your husband/parent/sibling call you

bad-tempered?

• Do you make rash decisions?

• Do you quickly become negative about others?

• Are you quick to anger and slow to calm down?

 Causes of Anger

• Ujab and Takabbur

• Teasing and Mocking

• Criticism

• Desire/ Hirs

• Envy/ Hasad
 Signs and Symptoms of Anger

• Not talking

• Not looking

• Backbiting / Gheebat

• Telling the secrets of the other

• Malice / Spite/ Keena

• Fighting / Verbally or Physically

Activity

1.
What is
1. your
Find style?

2.out:
Discover
2. "girl
anger”
Anger Management Plan

“Zaahir”

• Tongue
• Body

“Baatin”

• Thoughts
• Feelings
 Zaahir: Verbal Remedies

• Be quiet

• Say “ta’awudh”

• Read Durood

• Say: “La Hawla wa la Quwwata illa

B’illah”

• Change topic
 Zaahir: Movement

• Just move!

• Smile

• Change posture

• Deep breathing

• Drink water

• Wudhu
 Baatin: Thoughts

• Think before speaking

• Control thoughts for the first 15 minutes

• Fate

• Think of positive – 10 excuses

• Sense of humor!

• Anger diary
 Baatin: Feelings

• Allah SWT’s anger more justified

• Think of His mercy

• Rasulullah ‫’ﷺ‬s Haudh-e-Kauthar

• Big heart

• Rewards of Akhirah
 Benefits of Anger Control

• Allah will put Imaan and sukun in the

heart

• The best thing to swallow in the eyes

of Allah is Anger [Hadith]

• That person will be called out on the

Day of Judgment and granted an early
entrance to Jannah [Hadith]

• Allah will stop His punishment from

reaching that person on the Day of
Judgment [Hadith]
Activity
The Beauty of Anger Management
THANK YOU!